A Far Off Someday ATC for Disciple
by hellocowboy
Summary: Matt returns to Dodge after weeks in exile and surprises Kitty. What does that mean to her, his friends, and to the town? Complete
1. Eyes Don't Lie

_It has always bothered me that the character of Kitty left Dodge and no one explained why. Here's my offering and I hope you all enjoy it! _

_As always, I don't own these characters but what fun I could have had if I did!_

Kitty Russell sat all alone at a table in the Long Branch looking over the books. The bar doors remained opened even though she had closed early and sent Floyd home. The occasional cowboy would come through the doors but she would send them on their way and they reluctantly moved on to another saloon. She stubbornly kept those doors opened hoping that the next pair of boots she heard would be her cowboy's. Matt had been gone for weeks now with a useless right arm and although he had promised to keep in touch she hadn't heard a word from him. She resisted the urge to ask Festus or Newly to track Matt although she knew it wouldn't take much convincing. Both men had been contemplating doing just that since Matt had left. They also had come to dislike the new Marshal and they would have loved being away shadowing Matt. Instead they spent their days doing their best to keep her mind occupied; if only she could have found a remedy for the very long and lonely nights.

She was finding it hard to concentrate so she closed the books, took a deep breath, and sat back in the chair. She looked around the room and her mind took her back to that day. The vivid memory of a shotgun blast and Matt lying in the alley clutching his blood soaked arm sent a shiver through her body. If only she had stayed and had coffee with Matt instead of leaving to go to the bank he might have assessed the situation better than he did. The fact that she was almost hit by the first discharge of a gun she believed made Matt run into the alley without thinking and that thought preyed on her mind. She surveyed the table eyeing all the work that she knew needed to be done but her heart just wasn't in it. As she absentmindedly glided her hand back and forth over the felt she spotted it; her journal. She had brought the books up to her room the night before in the hopes that working through some figures would keep her longing for Matt at bay but she just as quickly tossed them aside and went to bed. She must have picked the journal up with the rest of the books when she came down in the morning. She quickly opened the book and thumbed through the pages until she came to that day. Through tears she read the entry.

_I could clearly see the helpless look in Matt's eyes. The silence was too much for all of us so Doc signaled for me to come with him into the other room and leave Matt with his thoughts. He thought it might be a good idea if I spent the night but he warned me that Matt might not want anyone around. I left Doc's office and went to my room to pack for the evening. I left the bag in the outer office when I returned and quietly entered the room. Matt was looking down at his arm as if it betrayed him somehow and as I got closer the look of vulnerability was clearly etched in his face. I sat on the bed and stroked his left arm. "Matt, we'll get through this."_

"_Kitty, I don't know what I'm going to do."_

"_Maybe we should start planning the next chapter of our lives."_

"_Kitty, I can't use my right arm. I'm defenseless. We can't be together I can't keep you safe."_

"_No one says we have to stay here. We could go far away where no one would know who you are."_

"_And do what? Have you keep me? Live off your money?_

"_Our money Matt unless you've decided you don't want to marry me."_

"_No, that's not what I'm saying." Matt took a deep breath as he stroked my arm, "I'm not in the best of moods today. Let me get some sleep maybe tomorrow I'll be in a better frame of mind."_

"_Matt, Doc thought I should stay here tonight and,"_

"_Kitty, you are going back to the Long Branch. If someone decided to get to me I can't chance you being hurt or worse."_

"_Festus and Newly are on guard tonight and we have your gun." Matt still looked unconvinced. "I'm going to go and get us something to eat I'll be right back."_

"_Kitty," before he could continue I grabbed him into a kiss then looked into his beautiful blue eyes, "Matt, I don't want to spend the night without you. I need to be here." I patted his arm, stood, and left the room._

_We had dinner and Matt seemed to relax a little. I held his hand after dinner and tried to reassure him that everything was going to be all right. After awhile I went into the outer office and retrieved my bag and some brandy as we continued to talk and enjoy a late night drink. I went over to the corner of the room where I had left my bag and started to undress. I could feel Matt's eyes watching every move I made so I slowly removed each piece of clothing. I knew he had his reservations about my staying but I think he needed to hold me as much as I needed to hold him. I turned towards him before I put on my nightgown and I could see the look in his eyes. As I approached the bed he voiced his reservations again, "I still don't think this is a good idea." I lifted the blanket to squeeze in next to him and smiled. "I hate to tell you cowboy but not all of you thinks my staying here is a bad idea." His face became a little flushed as I kissed his lips. "Kitty I want so very much to hold you."_

"_That's all you want?"_

"_That's all I can do." I kissed him as we said our good nights. We laid there for awhile before his left hand ran down the length of my body. He started to lift my nightgown as his hand made its way up the inside of my thigh. I tried so hard not to react but at some point I turned towards him and he drew me into a passionate kiss. _

Kitty smiled as she got up and poured herself a drink. She placed the journal on the bar as she stood sipping her brandy wishing that Matt was there to hold her. She needed to feel him again but for now she would have to settle for her written remembrances.

_Before I knew it I had straddled Matt and once again we reveled in the feeling of oneness. Matt asked if I would remove my nightgown and through the soft glow of the oil lamp I will always remember the look on his face. "You are the most beautiful woman in the world." His left hand more than adequately brought me to fulfillment and I made it a point to tell him so. I lay next to him and held him close. "Maybe I should put my gown back on. I wouldn't want to tempt you any further."_

"_Don't you move," we both laughed and then fell into a deep sleep._

_The next morning Matt's mood had improved. He loved having me near and I think he was a little relieved that not having the use of his right hand didn't hinder us from enjoying each other. When I opened my eyes Matt was looking down at me. I could tell he wished he could have me in a big bear hug but I enjoyed his left hand rubbing my back. We kissed each other good morning and those feelings were starting to rise again when we heard a knock on the door. It was Doc. Matt playfully yelled. "Go away." Not deterred, Doc entered the room anyway, "Well, I see my patient's mood has improved dramatically." He looked at me, "you must have very persuasive powers my dear. That's why I thought it might be a," Doc stopped in mid-sentence when he realized I wasn't dressed. His face turned a bright red as he quickly turned away, "well, I, uh, well, uh, I better get some breakfast." He ran from the room and I looked at Matt and we both laughed. As much as I didn't want to leave him I got dressed and headed for Delmonico's. I wanted to bring Matt some breakfast before I went back to the Long Branch to freshen up. I had made arrangements with Doc to have Matt stay with me, much to Matt's disagreement, but every night we would fall asleep in each other's arms. Of course, there was no leaving at five in the morning since he was no longer the Marshal so the mornings were long and relaxing. We finally had time to really enjoy having breakfast together, well, among other things, but it only made me want him to think about retiring and our wedding even more. _

Kitty went back to the table and sat down with a new found resolve to finish the books. She really needed to get her work done but she found it so hard to concentrate as Matt was so prominent in her thoughts. Before long she reopened her journal and continued reading.

_It had been about a week and Matt's right arm was showing some signs of improvement but not enough to satisfy him. He felt a week was enough time for the word to get out and it scared him to death that they would find him here and I would be seriously hurt. He started to have these reoccurring dreams of me taking the bullet that was intended for him and it took awhile before I could finally settle him down. It probably shouldn't have come as a surprise to me when I saw Buck saddled and Matt packing. I tried to reason with him but I could see the concern in his eyes for my well being. I knew why he had to leave but it didn't make his leaving any easier. He promised he would be in touch and I remember looking into his eyes hoping that this would not be the last time. All I could do was stand outside of his office and watch him leave._

She closed the book and tried again to finish the bills. As she thumbed through each one she heard footsteps entering the bar. She started to regret that she didn't close the doors the last time she was up. Ready to give her apologies to the poor, most likely, drunken cowboy she turned and froze unable to utter a word until she heard, "Hello Kitty." With mind racing she stood slowly, "Oh, Matt." She could see the desire in Matt's eyes as she slowly moved forward. "Sorry cowboy but the bar is closed."

Matt looked around, "Oh, I saw the doors opened and I thought you might be open for business."

"I only had them opened because my intended has been gone for a few weeks and I thought he might be back tonight."

"I see, well, I'm not a lawman but I would think that it is against an ordinance or something for the doors to be opened when you are really closed."

Kitty shook her head, "I've come to know the Marshal very well so he'll look the other way if I bend the rules a little."

Matt shook his head in disapproval. "You have an intended and you know the Marshal well enough that you can break the rules? I think this intended of yours better get home soon or he might not find you here when he gets back."

Kitty stepped behind Matt and locked the bar doors. "Why don't we step to the bar and I'll get you a drink, on the house of course."

"What if this so called intended of yours shows up?"

"You doubt I have one sir?"

Matt ran his hand down her arm and around her waist. "No, but I think he was a very foolish man to have left you alone for so long." They both stared at each other and Kitty put her arms around his neck, "Welcome home cowboy." Matt smiled and brought his mouth to hers as they quickly became reacquainted with the taste of one another. Matt looked into Kitty's eyes, "let's bring the drinks upstairs." They ascended the stairs and made their way to their room. She put another log on the fire as Matt watched her fluid movements. "Matt, why don't you go get comfortable while I take care of this."

"I was hoping you could help me get comfortable."

Kitty turned to see his little boy look and she smiled, "go sit down, I'll be with you in a minute."

"Kitty, I should be doing that."

"Matt, I've been doing this without your help for weeks now."

Matt looked down and shook his head in agreement as he pointed, "I'll just go sit down over there." Kitty smiled, "how's your arm?"

"I see improvement but I'll see what Doc says tomorrow."

Kitty made her way over to Matt as he stood to pull her into a kiss. "OK, cowboy let's get that arm out of the sling, that's right, easy, does that hurt?"

"A little."

"OK, now let's get this shirt off you,"

Matt followed her requests as she gingerly removed each article of clothing. He stood before her naked as he pulled her into another kiss. They stared into each other's eyes as Kitty ran her hand down Matt's face. "Matt, I'm so glad you're home."

"It feels so good to be home," he whispered as he started to undo the buttons on her dress. She stepped out of the dress as it hit the floor and Matt's fingers deftly undid her corset. He removed the rest of her clothes as his eyes took in the sight of her. He pulled back the covers and gently laid her down on the bed. Within minutes Matt's body devoured hers with a needed urgency stoking her smoldering embers of passion with every movement he made. They continued this frenetic pace as their bodies cried out for more until night gave way to day.

They woke to a very busy Dodge City. The town was in full swing and the sun was high in the sky when they said their first good mornings. Matt ran his fingers down her face, "I love you Kitty."

She smiled, "I love you too cowboy and I love having you home."

"Well, we'll see."

"What does that mean?"

"Kitty, I still can't use my hand."

"It's getting better besides I didn't think you had a problem with it last night."

"My adrenaline must have been running very high."

"Oh, is that what you're calling it now?"

Matt smiled, "Come here and let me show you how it works."

Kitty laughed as she put her head on his chest. "Matt, seriously, I hope you are not thinking about doing something stupid again."

"Kitty what else can I do? I need you to be safe, if anything happened to you,"

She covered his lips with her fingers, "Matt, I want you here with me. You put this ring on my finger for a purpose I thought. If Doc says that it will be awhile before you can use your hand again, let's get on with our life Matt. They have the new Marshal here and Festus and Newly. We'll go away for awhile until you get well and if you still want to live in Dodge we'll come back but let's do this together Matt, please!"

He stroked her hair, "Sometimes you're too smart for your own good." He gently kissed her. "OK, let me talk with Doc and we'll plan from there." She smiled. "So, um, do you still want to see how my adrenaline works?" Kitty let out with one of her throaty laughs as he leaned over to caress her body.

Kitty took the tray from Floyd with some coffee and a couple of plates of eggs and ham. As she came back into the room she noticed that Matt was having some difficulty shaving so she laid the tray down and made her way over to him. "Come here let me help you with that."

"Uh, no, that's OK."

"Matt stop being so stubborn you are clearly struggling," she made an attempt to grab the razor.

"Kitty, I'm still recovering from the cuts the last time you shaved me. Tom Lynott thought I was in a fight with a mountain lion."

"Oh, it wasn't as bad as all that!" They both looked at each other and laughed. Kitty grabbed the towel and started to remove the shaving cream from his face. "Come on, your breakfast is getting cold, shave later."

"Yes, ma'am," Matt made his way to the table. He pulled out the chair for Kitty then took his place next to her. "Does Doc know you're in town?"

"No, you were the only one I was interested in seeing."

Kitty smiled as she held his hand, "Matt, I was so worried. So many things went through my mind especially when I didn't hear from you. I was so afraid I was never going to see you again."

"Well, Kitty, I was lucky when I ran into Lem."

"Lem?"

Yeah, he was this here Army deserter who was excellent with a gun; boy that kid could draw. Trouble was he didn't take to killing so that was the reason he left the Army.

"Why did he join the Army if he didn't like to use a gun?"

"Never could figure that out Kitty except he said he liked the fact that he was serving his country and he was proud to wear the uniform."

"Didn't he realize that one day he might have to kill?"

Matt let out with a little laugh. "He was pretty naive that much is for sure. He even accused me of having a taste for killing. Well, we had many a night discussing that subject."

"Did you convince him?"

"Not at that moment, no."

"What changed his mind?"

"He ran into the guys that robbed the bank and they told him they were looking for me. When I met up with him he couldn't wait to tell me that he was able to persuade them to leave us alone without shedding any blood, well, that was until they came back and cornered us in a cave." Kitty grabbed Matt's arm. "Oh, Matt, how scary, you left handed and Lem refusing to use a gun?"

"Kitty, never underestimate an outlaw. Lem foolishly felt he could reason with them so he walks out of the cave and they took a shot at him; just missed killing him too. We managed to overcome them but I guess it was then that he realized he might need more than the spoken word." Matt shook his head, "I think it finally sunk in that by wearing the gun he was inviting violence so he decided he would go back to the Army and take whatever punishment was due him." Matt reached over and grabbed Kitty's hand and kissed it. "He made me realize Kitty that I had run from my commitment to you and how unfair that was so I got on Buck and here I am."

She touched his face, "Matt I know you want to keep me safe but I rather we face the danger together than to find out months later that a Lem buried you in the middle of nowhere. Do you have any idea what that would do to me?"

He kissed her lips, "I know Kitty but I don't want to be holding your lifeless body in my arms either if someone's aim is bad."

"Matt, go see Doc today then we'll make the decision together OK? Now finish your breakfast before it gets cold."

"Yes, ma'am," Matt smiled as he finished polishing off his eggs and ham.

Doc was rolling some pills when he heard his door opened. He turned around to see Matt and a huge smile ran across his face. "Well, for heaven's sake, look who's back!" Doc put his hand out and Matt grabbed Doc's hand with his right. "Grips not as strong as it usually is but it's a grip just the same. Good to see you Matt."

"Good to see you too Doc."

"Have you seen Kitty yet?"

"Went there last night."

Doc raised an eyebrow then smiled. "Sit down let me take a look at that arm." Matt felt some pain during the examination which Doc was happy to see. "Hurt there?"

"Some."

"Well, that's a good sign. Try and grab my hand again." Matt squeezed it as hard as he could. "Matt, I don't think I would have said this a couple of weeks ago but the arm is healing nicely."

"When do you think I'll be able to fully use it?"

"Can't really tell but I would like to check the arm out once a week, that's if you are going to stay."

"I'll be here Doc." Matt got off of the examining table and made his way to the door. "Say, Matt, for what it's worth you're doing the right thing."

"What do you mean?"

Doc ran his hand over his moustache "Well, I don't think I have to tell you that Kitty was mighty worried about you."

"I know that Doc and I promise you I'm going to make it up to her."

Doc nodded, "see you at the Long Branch later?"

"Sure thing Doc, I'm a kept man now you know," Matt flashed a very contented smile as he walked out the door and down the flight of stairs to the street.

Kitty was sitting at a table in the back reading the morning paper having a cup of coffee. Matt stood at the door of the Long Branch as he had done for years and watched Kitty enjoying her very late morning ritual. He knew how happy Kitty had been since his return and as much as he didn't want to admit it to himself he was starting to enjoy his new life. He came through the doors and sat down in the chair next to her. They were alone in the saloon so he put his arm around her chair and nibbled on her ear then he whispered, "I love you." She put her paper down and looked into his inviting blue eyes. "Matt, you're shameless!"

"You want to see shameless?" Matt started to kiss her neck.

Kitty laughed as she put her hand under his chin and brought his head up so their eyes met. "Never mind, what did Doc say?" He reached over to pour himself a cup of coffee. "Says the arm is coming along."

"That's all?"

"No, he wants me to stop by every week for a checkup." Kitty smiled.

"Something making you happy?"

"You know why I'm happy Matthew Dillon and don't pretend you don't."

He turned towards her with eyes smiling, "Kitty, you deserve to be happy. I really don't know what I am going to do to make a living but you're right we'll decide that together." Matt cleared his throat as he looked around the bar. "You know Miss Russell I'm thinking of taking a nap before dinner. Now I know you have a place to run here and all but," Matt ran his hand up Kitty's thigh, "I think it might do you some good if you would join me."

"Is your adrenaline acting up again?

"Funny thing about that; only happens when you're around!" They both laughed as they made their way to the stairs.

He wiped the strand of hair off her face as he gently kissed her lips. Kitty's breath was just returning to normal, "Oh, Matt just when I think it can't get any better," she ran her fingers through his hair. Matt smiled as he pulled her close. "Happy?"

"The happiest I've ever been."

"I'll let you in on a little secret."

"What's that?"

"So am I. Kitty, I love waking up each day with you in my arms and I love going to bed with you every night. I really can't come up with a reason why I have denied both of us a life together for so long but," Kitty put her hand over his lips, "That doesn't matter now Matt just knowing that soon it will be forever is enough." Before long they both fell into a deep slumber.

Kitty was still sleeping when Matt got dressed. He came down the stairs as Festus was entering the Long Branch. Matt watched him as he made his way over to the bar. He seemed to have something on his mind so Matt quietly stood next to him.

"Festus, can I buy you a beer?"

"Naw, Matthew, I ain't thirsty. Much obliged though."

"Well, people don't usually stand at a bar unless they are thinking about drinking."

"I just do my bestest thinkin' standin' close to this chere bar," Festus hit the bar with his hand, "kinda' clears my head so I can make the decisions I needs to make."

"Oh, I see and what decision would that be?"

"Matthew, I'm just gettin' a little sick and tired of this here citified livin'." Festus waved his thumb in the direction of Front Street. "There is days that I thinks I shoulda never come here in the firstest place."

"I thought you liked it here. Haven't you made a lot of good friends?"

"Aw, fiddle Matthew theys the best but there comes a time in a man's life when he has ta get off by his ownself and do the things that he can'ts do when he cooped up in this citified life, don't cha see?" Festus turned towards Matt as he pointed his finger in Matt's direction. "Now take you for instance, Matthew you'd be the firstest one to hightail it up to the high country ifn' you'd got the chance, well, least ifn' you didn't have Miss Kitty anyways."

"Festus, what's troubling you?"

Festus flailed his hands in the air. "It's not been the same sincen' you left Matthew. This new Marshal yayhoo is the most unfriendliness cuss I'd ever been arounds. He has these new fangled rules, won't never listen to me, thinks hill folks is ignorant." Festus turned towards the bar and leaned on the rail. "Naw, Matthew it be best ifn' I just go off and gets back to my roots."

"I think you're overreacting Festus."

Festus eyed Matt as he asked Floyd for a beer. Matt started to sip his drink, "you know Matthew, you'd be doin' this here town the biggest favor ifn' you'd put that badge back on and continued your Marshalin' duties."

"Look Festus I'm in no position to continue being Marshal. My hand hasn't totally healed. I couldn't uphold the law, no, this town needs a strong hand and I just don't have it."

"Aw, shoot Matthew, me and Newly could be wit' ya everywhere ya went. We could be your gun, don't cha see?

"Festus, I know what you're saying but it would be too dangerous for both you and Newly. You know yourself, neither one of you are as fast as I was and that is what it is going to take to keep this town a respectable one."

"Matthew, this town needs ya that's all I wants to say." Festus dropped his head as he turned towards the door. "See ya later Matthew."

Matt watched as Festus went through the batwing doors. He started to make his way back to a table when the new Marshal came into the saloon, "Matt, I want to talk with you."

"John, what can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to leave day after tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Just not my kind of town besides they need me someplace else."

"Sorry to hear that John. Did they say who was going to come in to replace you?"

"I think they were hoping you would."

"John, I'm in no position to be Marshal again. Besides I made other plans."

John looked up towards the second floor. "I was wondering why the redhead was so cold towards me. I guess if I was any kind of Marshal I would have figured that out. Well, whatever you decide Matt I wish you all the best."

Matt shook his hand, "Thanks John and all the best to you too." Matt sat down as he watched John leave the saloon. He continued to sip his beer as a myriad of thoughts ran through his head. As tempting as the Marshal position was he had a woman upstairs who would be very disappointed and he had made a promise to himself not to disappoint her again. Matt was a million miles away when Kitty sat down next to him. "Matt?" She shook his arm, "Matt?"

"Hmm?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing Kitty."

"I know when there is something wrong now what is it?"

"Just thinking a few things over."

"Like what?"

He looked into her eyes. The brightness that he saw just hours ago was gone replaced by concern. He knew that if he told her what he was really thinking they would quickly turn to disappointment and he couldn't bear to see that in her eyes. "Matt what is wrong?"

Matt turned his gaze downward as his hand played with the handle of the beer mug, "Kitty, I'm thinking about putting the badge back on."

TBC


	2. Happiness Postponed

Kitty sat stunned by Matt's admission, "You're what?"

"Kitty, it's only a thought I had."

"Oh, no, Matt I've been with you too long to think that this is only a thought."

He reached over and took her hand, "John says he is leaving the day after tomorrow and it seems the service is hoping I will put the badge back on."

"Matt, your arm is not nearly healed besides I know they have other Marshals in the service. Surely they can find someone else!"

"Kitty, you're getting worked up over nothing."

"Nothing? You call changing all our plans nothing?" She quickly stood and made her way to the stairs as Matt reached out to grab her arm. "Kitty, wait."

"I don't care to hear it Matt." She pulled from his grasp and stormed up the stairs.

Matt sat at the table giving Kitty some time to settle down. He wasn't sure why he was even entertaining the thought of pinning the badge on his chest again or could he explain why he felt defending this town was more important than being there for the one person who gave his life meaning. He finished his beer and made his way up the stairs. He slowly opened the door and quietly made his way further into the room. He saw Kitty standing at the window, arms folded, looking out onto Front Street. He walked towards her but she didn't acknowledge his presence. He stood close to her and she could feel his breath on her neck. He placed his hands on her shoulders. "Kitty, I would like us to talk about this."

"Seems your mind is already made up," setting her jaw even more.

"I never said that just that I was thinking about it."

"Matt, I know you're going to be the law in this town again even if you can't seem to acknowledge it." He put his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. "Let's sit down and talk about it." Matt guided Kitty towards the bed and sat her down. He knelt before her holding her hands. "Kitty I need you to understand something. I love you with all my heart and I never mean or want to hurt you. I know I fall short sometimes but you'll never know what seeing the hurt in your eyes does to me." Kitty stared straight ahead as if in a trance. "When I left Doc's office I walked around town for a little while and everyone I met said they hoped I would be coming back. Then Festus came into the bar talking about leaving town because he doesn't like the new Marshal and then John said he was leaving and that the service wanted me to give it some thought and Kitty that is what I was doing; giving it some thought." Matt gave a little smile as he shook his head, "I don't know why I feel I'm the only one who can do this job. Maybe it's my male ego that gets the best of me sometimes." He kissed her hands, "Kitty, I wish I could stay here with you forever but there is this need in me that I can't explain or really understand." He waited for a reaction from Kitty but it was as if she had given up the fight. He watched her face intently but she never looked in his direction. He was just about to get up and leave when he noticed a silent tear fall down her right cheek followed by a quivering lip. As hard as she tried she couldn't stop the onslaught of tears and sobbing that racked her body. Matt quickly sat on the bed next to her and held her tight and gently rocked her. "Kitty, it's going to be all right…shhh…it's going to be all right." Matt tried so hard to console her but twenty years of disappointments flowed from her body. "Honey, look at me." Matt took her chin in his hand and stared into her red watery eyes. "This is not going to be forever. I'll just fill in until the new Marshal gets here."

"Matt, I wish you wouldn't," she said between sobs.

"Kitty, it will only be temporary. I can't see it lasting any longer than a year."

"Oh Matt, that's a lifetime."

"No, we're a lifetime." He kissed her lips.

"Matt, a lot can happen in a year especially with the way your arm is. Can you really promise me that I won't be up in Doc's office watching him take a bullet out of you again? Can you say for certain that I won't be burying you when some young idiot decides killing the famed Dodge Marshal will give his useless life meaning?

"No, I can't, but you know whether I'm Marshal or not I will be a target. I think you know that."

"I suppose I do." She took a deep breath. "Matt, I just don't want to share you anymore."

"I promise you once the new Marshal is here I will be all yours."

"Matt, please be careful."

"Kitty, I plan to be I have too much to live for." He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. "If it will make you feel any better I'll make sure either Festus or Newly will always be with me and if I have to go out of town I'll send them, how's that?" He wiped away the tears that were still falling from her face then he cupped her face with his two hands. "Always know that I do love you and I can hardly wait until you are Mrs. Matthew Dillon." Kitty's eyes started to water again, "Now, what did I say wrong?"

She smiled, put her arms around his neck, and gently kissed his lips. "Nothing cowboy, absolutely nothing."

"So, you feel like dinner?"

She shook her head, "but let's eat here."

"Tell you what, I'll take care of dinner. You just get yourself comfortable and leave everything up to me. After we eat I'll have someone get us some hot water and we'll take a nice relaxing bath then who knows what we'll feel like doing." He pushed the strands of hair that had fallen off her face. "You know, if you play your cards right, I might even throw in a foot rub." Matt headed to the door as Kitty called out after him. "Matt, I love you."

He smiled, "you can show me how much later, OK?" She smiled as she went to her closet to change.

Kitty lay awake in the early hours of the morning nestled in Matt's arms. They had just fallen asleep after a very relaxing loving evening but she was still restless. She loved him with her whole being but it never seemed to be enough. She was fearful now more then she had ever been before and that fear woke her from her sleep. She wished with all her heart that he would reconsider his decision but if she was honest with herself she knew that as long as Matt was living in Dodge the pull of the badge would be too strong for her to overcome. She smiled as she kissed his forehead. Later today he would send the telegram mapping out his plans and assuming the responsibilities of a U.S. Marshal. She was lost in her thoughts rubbing his arm when she felt Matt stir.

"Kitty, what's wrong?"

"Nothing Matt, I'm just a little restless I guess."

"Still worried?"

"I'll always be worried Matt," she started to feel the tears well in her eyes.

"Honey, everything is going to be OK, I promise."

"I know," she wiped away the tears that were starting to run down her face. "I don't know why I'm so emotional lately."

"I wouldn't love you if you weren't." Matt leaned over and passionately drew her into a kiss. "You know I can help you with that restlessness."

"Oh?

Matt sat up in bed and had Kitty sit in front of him as he gently massaged her shoulders. "How's that feel?" She could only moan her approval. After awhile Kitty leaned back into Matt as his lips replaced his hands and he whispered. "Still restless?"

"Hmm, but for a different reason." Matt smiled and turned her towards him as they welcomed the sunrise as one.

Matt was leaving the telegraph office when he noticed John standing by the stage. Curious he started to make his way over, "Well, I'm glad you decided on going back to being Marshal. You sure that left handed draw is going to be enough?"

"Well, I guess it's gonna' have to do until the other one gets better." Matt pointed towards the stage. "Ah, you're leaving in a big hurry aren't ya?"

"Marshal I can't hardly wait to leave. "

"Why is that?"

"This is the unfriendliness town I've ever seen in my whole life."

Matt watched John board the stage and pull out of the depot. He followed in its path as he made his way over to Doc's office. His arm was bothering him and he wanted Doc to take a look at it. Doc heard footsteps on the stairs and turned as Matt opened the door. "Say Doc I was hoping you could take a look at this arm it's been bothering me some today."

"Well, I guess I have time to take a look at it."

Matt looked around the room. "Yep, you look real busy all right."

"Oh, is that so? Well, it just so happens that I have a very full schedule today, I'm not like you living the life of leisure now," Doc pointed to the examination table, "sit up on the table and let me take a look at that arm." Doc made his way over to Matt and as he grabbed his arm he noticed the badge pinned on his chest. "No, I don't like that, don't like that atall'."

"Something wrong with my arm Doc?"

"No, more like your brain," as Doc pointed to Matt's chest.

Matt looked down to where Doc was pointing, "Oh."

"Does Kitty know?"

"She does."

"How'd she take it?"

"Not well at first but I think she feels better about it now."

"I wouldn't bet on it."

"Doc, I'm only filling in until they can find another Marshal; one hopefully the town will like!"

"Matt that shouldn't be of any concern to you. You owe it to yourself and Kitty to find some happiness while you're still around." Doc proceeded to look at Matt's arm.

"Doc, I promised Kitty not longer than a year."

"Oh, for heaven's sakes Matt!" Doc looked up over his glasses at him. "If I had someone like Kitty Russell in love with me, well, I wouldn't even give it one day."

"You'd stop doctoring would you?"

"I told you before doctoring is very different from your line of work, besides we are not talking about me, we are talking about you and your fool headed stubbornness." Doc raked his hand over his moustache, "you're very lucky Matt that you have a woman like Kitty. Not many women would put up with your foolishness, and I know some who haven't and if you want me to jar your memory I can start naming them, let's see, there was," Matt put up his hand. "All right Doc I get the message."

"No, I don't think you have because I've been saying this for years but you still make the same stupid mistake."

"You gonna' take a look at my arm or talk me to death?" Doc shot Matt a deadly stare. "I'll look at your arm all right and just when it gets to function normally you'll go out and have it shot up again or maybe have some other part of your body shot to pieces but if that's OK with you, well, it's none of my concern." Doc finished his exam and looked up at Matt. "I'll give you some powders for the pain." Doc retrieved the powders from his medicine cabinet and returned to Matt. "Here, this should hold you until next week." Matt watched as Doc walked away. He grabbed his hat and headed for the door, "see ya later Doc?"

Doc hung his head, "Yeah."

As Matt closed the door behind him Doc made his way to the window and watched Matt descend the stairs. Doc thought he might be imaging it but Matt didn't look as happy as he did yesterday.

As soon as Matt hit the boardwalk he heard the jangling of spurs approaching from behind. "Matthew?" Matt turned to see Festus wearing a broad smile. "Matthew, I'z just been down jawin' with Barney and he's been a tellin' me that you is gonna' be the Marshal again."

Matt pointed to his chest, "That's right, Festus."

"Well, if that ain't the best T I inkum dinkum news that I'z ever heard. Matthew I'z just got a hankering for a beer and I'z be might proud to buy you one.

"I was just heading to the Long Branch myself." Matt arrived first and could see Kitty sitting in the back. Matt made his way to Kitty as Festus called to Floyd to bring the beers back to the table. When Floyd arrived Festus paid for the drinks. "Much obliged Floyd."

Kitty looked at Matt and he just shrugged. "What's got you so happy today Festus?"

"Miss Kitty, Matthew here is gonna' be the Marshal again, but, I guess you already knows that."

"Yes Festus I know that but unlike everyone else in this town I don't think it's a cause for celebration."

Matt looked down at his beer. "Festus it is only temporary so eventually someone will come to take my place."

"Well, as long as it ain't that stuffy headed mule brained Marshal that just left town."

Matt just smiled, "you know Festus not everyone is going to be like me so you might have to adjust a little."

"Matthew, I knows that ifn' you'd pick the next Marshal everythin' will be just fine." Festus threw back his beer, "Well, I'z got to go and paint the widow Dooley's house. I'll see ya all directly."

Matt looked over at Kitty as her eyes dropped to continue reading the paper. He went back to playing with his mug of beer as they sat in silence. Matt sipped his beer wishing things could be as they were as he watched Kitty read. Finally Kitty looked up from the paper, "What did Doc say about your arm?"

"Not much."

Kitty looked at him puzzled. "What does that mean?"

"He was more into giving me advice than he was giving me a prognosis on my arm."

"I stand corrected. There are two people in this town that don't think it's a cause for celebration."

"Now Kitty."

"I'm sorry Matt it's just that, oh, I don't know." She waved her hand as she let out with a yawn.

Matt leaned into to her and smiled as he reached over to hold her hand "Sorry I kept you up so late."

"I think I'll go upstairs and take a nap before lunch, care to join me?"

"I would love to but I'm a working man now you know. How about I'll pick you up for lunch, if you would do me the honor?"

Kitty smiled, "come get me."

Matt helped Kitty out of her chair and walked her to the stairs, "see you later."

Matt came back to their room and Kitty was still resting. He quietly sat on the bed and stroked her hair. He leaned down and gave her a kiss, "You still want lunch?"

Kitty stirred and looked into his beautiful blue eyes. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Few hours." Matt rubbed her arm, "Kitty if you still want to rest we can skip lunch."

Kitty started to get up. "No, I'm fine. You must have really tired me out last night."

"I try my best ma'am." He pulled her close to give her a kiss and then swatted her rear as she went to change. "I'll just be a minute." He smiled as he made his way to the big armchair knowing how long a Kitty minute can be!

The sun was setting over Dodge as Kitty stood outside the Long Branch for a breath of fresh air. It had been close to a month since Matt resumed his Marshal duties and she had to admit the badge was not as intrusive as it had been in the past. Matt was home every night and he stayed well into the morning. Festus and Newly were in charge of the late rounds and only under extreme circumstances would they involve Matt. Matt's arm was improving nicely so well in fact that he was now using a right handed draw. The new Marshal was going to be arriving in about a month and Kitty was looking forward to Matt winding down his involvement and planning their future together.

Matt was sitting in his office going over some paperwork when Barney came through the door. "Evenin' Marshal, got a telegram here for you, says it's urgent."

Matt took the paper from his hands, "Thanks, Barney." He read the missive, folded the telegram, and put it in his pocket. "Any answer Marshal?"

"No need for an answer Barney, thanks."

"Sure thing Marshal," Matt watched Barney leave his office then removed the telegram from his pocket and reread it. He ran his fingers through his hair, took a deep breath, placed the telegram back in his pocket, and made his way to the door. Kitty saw Matt walking towards her, "You're early cowboy but if you wait a minute I'll freshen up and we'll go to dinner."

"Would you mind if we ate in tonight?"

"No, I'll send Floyd to Delmonico's before he starts work. What do you feel like having?"

"Whatever you decide. I think I'm going to go upstairs and relax for awhile."

Kitty watched him climb the stairs as Floyd was entering the saloon. "Floyd would you mind getting the special of the day from Delmonico's?"

"Miss Kitty I'd be glad to."

"Thanks Floyd, oh, for two and could you bring it to my room?"

"Will do."

Kitty opened the door and saw Matt sitting in the armchair with a glass of Napoleon brandy in his hand. She stood next to him and ran her fingers through his hair. "What's troubling you Matt?" He handed her the telegram.

Apprehend Jase Dakota STOP killed a family outside of Marysville STOP very dangerous STOP must stand trial in Hays City STOP last seen near Abilene STOP leave immediately.

Kitty sat down in the chair across from Matt. She stared at the piece of paper then she looked up at him. "I suppose you couldn't send Festus or Newly." Matt shook his head, "No, Kitty I have to go."

"Can't you take one of them with you?"

"No, I have to do this alone."

"Oh, Matt, why?"

"It's what I get paid to do."

"Then Matt leave in the morning. I just want one night with you before,"

"Kitty I have to leave tonight," he stood and walked towards her, took her hands in his and helped her out of the chair. He held her close, "Matt, please, just a few hours?"

"Kitty, I'm sorry but I have to leave." He kissed her and ran his fingers down her face. "I'll be home soon." She tried so very hard not to cry but the tears started to flow, "Shhh, everything is going to be all right." She sobbed, "Matt please send someone else."

"Kitty, I'm sorry but I have to go now." He cupped her face and brushed away the tears as he kissed her lips. As he closed the door he could hear her muffled cries and it broke his heart.

Festus was coming out of the Marshal's office when he saw Matt approaching. "Howdy Matthew, town seems kinda quiet today."

"Not for me."

"Why ya say that Matthew?"

"Festus, can you get my horse?

"Why, wheres ya goin'?"

Festus, can you just get my horse!" Matt bellowed as he made his way to the front door of his office.

"Sure thing Matthew." Festus continued on his way to the stable as all those who were in ear shot of the Marshal stared.

Matt packed a few things and was on his way out when he stopped and walked over to the safe. He removed a small leather billfold that he put in the inside jacket pocket over his heart. As his feet hit the boardwalk Festus was approaching the hitch rail with Buck. Festus had his head down, "here ya go Matthew."

"I appreciate it Festus and, hey look, I'm sorry I yelled before it's just that I have to go out of town for awhile and I'm not very happy about it. When I get back we'll have a beer, on me."

"Ah, shoot Matthew I knows that somethin' must have been abotherin' ya. Ya just don'ts go round yellin' at people for no reason."

"I don't know how long I'll be gone but if you could check on Kitty I'd really appreciate it."

"Don't you worry 'bout a thing Matthew, Miss Kitty will be well taken care of, you got the Haggen promise on that."

"Thanks Festus."

Matt started to leave town when Newly came out from the alley. "Newly I have to be out of town for awhile. Could you watch the town and check in on Kitty too?"

"No problem Marshal, have a safe trip."

As Buck neared the Long Branch Matt looked up on the second floor. Kitty was standing at the window and their eyes met. Uncharacteristically Matt mouthed, "I love you," as Kitty waved goodbye.

Matt made camp under a full moon. After he finished his meal of beans and jerky he sat back on his saddle with a cup of coffee and his thoughts. He pulled his coat collar up around his neck to protect against the cool breeze that had kicked up suddenly. He sipped on his coffee and tried to imagine Kitty's soft touch and warm body lying next to him hoping that would give him a sense of comfort. He put down the cup and reached inside his coat to pull out the billfold from the safe. The billfold contained a picture that he and Kitty had taken the last time they were in St. Louis. He ran his finger over the portrait _I really made a mess of things this time haven't I._ He knew he had to focus and not show any weakness when he finally found Jase Dakota but it was getting so difficult to be away from her. He closed the billfold, put it back in his pocket, and tried to fall asleep.

Kitty left the closing up for Floyd. She was exhausted as she entered her room. She quickly changed into her nightgown and sat at her table to comb her hair. She threw back the covers and lay her head down on the pillow. She turned towards her nightstand where she noticed the picture Matt and she took in Topeka at the Governor's Ball. Matt had helped Governor Harvey with a personal matter and he thought it was a nice gesture to invite Matt to an event that most people would kill to attend. Unfortunately, Matt was not one of them and it took a great deal of persuading on Kitty's part to convince him to go. He finally relented but on one condition; that Kitty be at his side. Matt had been fussing all night about his formal wear but to Kitty he was by far the most handsome man in the ballroom. They danced the night away and Kitty could not remember a time when Matt was more gallant. She later found out that some of Matt's friends were very taken by Kitty and were rather envious that Matt had such a captivating woman in his life. Kitty was so happy and definitely in her element. She loved all the pomp and pageantry and she knew this would be one night she would never forget. Not only was she there with Matt but she was meeting so many fascinating people including the Governor who was a very beguiling gentlemen. When they returned to their hotel she went in to change and Matt made himself comfortable. He poured a couple of drinks and sipped his until she came back into the room. She sat next to him on the sofa and he told her to lie back and he gently massaged her feet. Still excited from the night's event they sat up for hours talking and it was in that hotel room he told her he loved her for the first time. The next morning, as they lay in each other's arms, she was the happiest woman in the world. She ran her fingers over the picture as their night together played over in her mind. She smiled through her tears as she held the picture to her chest. She closed her eyes and soon drifted off to sleep.

After finishing breakfast Doc ambled down the boardwalk chewing on a toothpick. As he approached his office he looked up on the second floor of the Long Branch. Matt had been gone a little over a week and all three friends tried their best to keep Kitty's spirits up. As his foot touched the bottom stair he decided that he would go have some coffee with the proprietress of the saloon. As he swung open the batwing doors he saw Kitty sitting at a table in the rear reading her paper and sipping a cup of coffee. As he got closer he noticed that her face was scrunched up as she looked at the cup. "Festus make that coffee?"

"What?"

Doc pointed at Kitty, "the way you're looking at the cup I thought maybe Festus made the coffee this morning." Doc pulled a chair back and sat down.

Kitty smiled, "I don't know it tastes a little off today."

"Here let me taste it," Doc poured himself a cup. "Hmm, doesn't taste bad to me."

"Oh, I guess everything is a little off for me lately."

Doc wasn't sure if he should continue with the conversation but he thought she might want to talk. "Heard anything from the overgrown public servant?"

"No, I haven't Doc but I know he is going to be doing a lot of tracking so I don't expect much communication, at least that's what I keep telling myself."

Doc reached over and held her hand. "Honey, he is going to be all right."

Kitty nodded, "Doc, truthfully, is his arm totally healed?"

He didn't really want to answer that question. "Kitty, it's in pretty good shape but no, it's not like it was before the shooting." She dropped her head and Doc rubbed the back of her hand. "It's good enough for Matt to do what he needs to do so don't worry, OK?"

"I know Doc. I try but it's so hard sometimes. If only he could have sent someone else."

"From what I hear this guy is a pretty hard case. Matt is probably one of the few who can take him on. I know that doesn't help you but it's just how it is."

"I know Curly, thanks for stopping by." Kitty rose from her chair.

"Why, where you going?"

"I'm just going to lie down for awhile."

"You've been doing a lot of that lately. Why don't you come next door and let me take a look at you."

"No need Doc. You may think this is funny but I feel closer to Matt when I'm in my room." He watched as she made her way to the second floor. It could be the stress of Matt's absence taking a toll but Doc could see a slight difference in Kitty and he was going to make a point to keep an eye on her.

Matt felt he had been all over the state of Kansas looking for Dakota. He tried to track him from Abilene but the trail grew cold. He followed up leads that led nowhere and after close to two weeks he was no closer to finding Jase than when he left Dodge. He regretted not sending a telegram from the last town knowing how worried she would be but he had to push her from his mind if he was going to successfully capture Dakota and bring him to justice. He had thoughts about going back to Dodge for a few days but he knew it would harder to leave her arms if he did. _OK Dillon stop thinking about her! _He had gotten a lead that Dakota might be in Oklahoma so he made his way into the territory. The last farm he visited had given him a fairly accurate description of Dakota and he thought if he were lucky this could be the day that he would finally apprehend the outlaw. He sighed when he realized his work would only start once they started their journey back to Hays City. He could see what looked like an abandoned shack in the distance with puffs of smoke belching from the chimney. Thinking that Jase might be hiding out here he dismounted and walked over to a group of bushes where he would wait until dark to make his move. Whenever he had time to think his mind would wander to thoughts of Kitty. The day reminded Matt of the last time they were at Spring Creek and it made him smile. _Boy, that water was cold_. He was snapped from his reverie by movement at the front door. Jase was leaving the shack and was headed for his horse. Matt quickly bounded to his feet with gun drawn, "Hold it right there." Jase turned slowly with his hands raised as Matt approached. "Well, if it isn't the one handed Marshal."

"Drop the gun, slowly, and throw it over here." Matt motioned with his gun.

"Maybe I won't lawman. I might want to test your right arm a little. See if your finger is strong enough to fire that pistol."

"Don't be a fool Dakota. My arm is healed enough to kill the likes of you."

"Hmm, short tempered today too. From what I hear you had a little time off, maybe you've gotten too soft for this line of work."

"I said drop the gun!"

"Well, we have a long ride. I'm sure I'll have a few other opportunities to test how healed that arm of yours really is." Jase complied with Matt's request and threw his gun on the ground.

He threw the handcuffs at Jase and told him to put them on. He applied the cuffs and lifted his hands to show Matt. After picking up Jase's gun, Matt grabbed his arm and they both walked over to his horse. "So, what you do with yourself Dillon when you couldn't wear that badge? Shack up all day with that woman of yours? You know, I've been to Dodge a time or two and I have to tell you she is one fine piece of," Matt's fist bore through Jase's jaw before he could finish the sentence. "Now, get up."

Jase let out with a laugh. "Yes sir Marshal sir. I got the message loud and clear don't be talkin' about the Marshal's woman, no sir."

"I said get up!" Matt clicked back the hammer of the gun.

"All right now, take it easy, I was just havin' a little fun. Give a dyin' man that much Marshal." Jase got to his feet and found his hat and brushed it off on his leg. They made their way to where Buck was tied and then both mounted their horses and headed towards Hays City. They were just outside of Tulsa and Matt was not looking forward to the long trip to Hays. They stopped for the night and after they tended to the horses Matt started a fire and made a meal. They sat in silence as they drank their coffee. "Tell me somethin' lawman. You gonna' stay up all night?"

"If need be."

"You are really somethin', you know that?" It's gonna' take us near on to a week to get to Hays. You're not gonna' be able to stay up for a week."

"I'll manage."

Jase smiled, "we'll see."

The next morning they ate breakfast, saddled the horses, and went on their way. Jase had to find a way to rattle Matt. He needed an advantage and he would bide his time until the opportunity came. They had been on the trail for a few days when Jase noticed a road sign pointing towards Dodge. Matt ignored the sign and continued up north. "Say lawman don't ya wanted go through Dodge?"

"It's out of our way."

"Maybe some but we both could stand to get this trail dust off of us. I could sure use a nice hot bath right about now."

"They can give you one when we get to Hays."

"Aw come on Dillon. You can't tell me ya wouldn't want to sit in a nice hot tub and soothe those old aching bones of yours. Yes sir, what I wouldn't give to have a woman like that washing my back or anywhere else she'd get a notion to stroke."

Matt drew his gun, "I told you we're going on to Hays and if I hear another word out of your mouth I'll tie that bandana around it."

"Yes sir I am truly a slow learner. I've got to remember to not bring your woman up again in conversation." Matt holstered his gun. Jase could sense Matt was getting tired and it seemed the mere mention of his woman was making him more irritable by the day. It would only be a matter of time before Jase felt he would be able to make a move.

That night, they sat around the fire sipping on their coffee as both men were deep in thought. "Ya know Marshal I knew this here little filly in Abilene, ooh boy was she somethin', yes sir, she was some kind of woman." Matt shot Jase a look. "Ya can't have any objections if I talk about a woman I had, now can ya?" Matt didn't answer. "She was a wildcat no doubt. She just couldn't get enough of me. Boy, she done wore me out and the things she could do to me, ooh wee, I never had lovin' like that before. Probably why ya caught up to me, I just couldn't leave that woman's bed." Jase shook his head, "Ya know, she wanted to come with me and I gotta' tell ya I was indeed tempted. Yes sir, real tempted." He pulled the blanket up around him. "Sure woulda made these nights a lot warmer ifn' she was here. Yes sir, a lot warmer." Jase turned towards Matt. "Oh, don't worry Dillon I would have shared her with ya, ya know." Matt leaned back on his saddle and put his hat over his eyes. "Unless of course you're one of those faithful types and even a woman who could take you to heaven and back couldn't change your mind." Jase waited a minute for a response but none came. "Well, I'm sure your woman knows a few tricks herself being with all those men." Matt jumped to his feet and grabbed Jase by the collar. "I swear you bring her up again and I will kill you." Jase could see the rage in Matt's eyes and he knew he had found the lawman's lone weakness.

When Matt got up in the morning his body was definitely stiffer than it had been all trip. He would never give Jase the satisfaction of knowing but lying in a nice hot tub with Kitty was on his mind since he mentioned it. They saddled the horses and Matt was packing up the few remaining items when he felt a blow to the back of his head. He fell face down in the dirt as Jase's body straddled him and he quickly threw the handcuffs around Matt's neck and pulled with all his might. Matt had just as quickly put his hands between the cuffs and his neck and tried to dislodge them. He was able to pull them up over the front of his face then both men rolled around on the ground trying to get the best vantage point. Matt was able to throw Jase off him but the younger man was quicker to stand and kicked Matt in his ribs. Matt fell back to earth and Jase charged and again straddled Matt punching him in the face. Matt was able to block one of the punches and threw Jase backwards. As Jase got on his feet Matt drew his gun. "I don't know why I just don't kill you right here."

"I've been a wonderin' that too lawman cause you know I ain't gonna' stop and from the looks of things you're gettin' pretty worn out."

"Get on your horse."

"Yes sir mister lawman sir."

Every part of his body hurt as he mounted his horse but he knew in the next few days Jase would be in the hands of the law in Hays and he would be on his way to Kitty's waiting arms.

Kitty woke facing Matt's side of the bed. She ran her hand over his pillow and wished he was lying next to her safe in her arms. She sat up in bed and stretched before she lifted the covers and put her feet on the floor. As she stood she felt some dizziness so she sat back on the bed until it subsided. She tired to stand again but the symptoms persisted. _Doc's probably right I'm so worried about Matt it's affecting my health. _She waited for awhile until she could stand with no ill effects. She walked around her room but she still wasn't feeling just right. She quickly got dressed and packed a bag.

Doc was coming down the stairs from his office as Kitty hurriedly left the Long Branch. He noticed she was carrying a bag and headed for the stage depot. "Oh Kitty," she kept in perfect stride. "Kitty, now hold on a minute here!" She stopped and looked up as Doc slowly descended the stairs. "Doc, I'm in a little bit of a hurry."

"Well, I see that but what I don't know is why?"

"I just have to get away for awhile."

"Kitty, if it's about Matt he'll be home before you know it."

"Doc I really have to go." Kitty continued her hurried pace until she reached the stage.

"Miss Russell, let me take your bag. We'll be leavin' in a minute. Can I help you on?" Kitty reached out her hand as Roy placed his hand around her waist until she was able to sit on the stagecoach bench.

"Thank you Roy."

He tipped his hat, "no problem Miss Russell." Roy hopped up to the driver's seat and with a yell the stage left Dodge.

Doc was just getting to the depot as the stage was turning the corner of town and out of view. He slowly made his way through the depot door, "Hey Doc what can I do for you today. Don't tell me you're thinkin' about takin' a trip."

"No, not me. Say, Henry," Doc pointed in the direction of Front Street, "where was Miss Russell going?"

"Not sure if I can tell you that Doc, you know, when people buy a ticket that information is a private matter unless, of course, a person has a problem with the law then if the Marshal,"

Doc turned quickly towards Henry, "Oh, for heaven's sake Henry just tell me where she was going!"

Henry was startled by Doc's tone, "Doc she's got a ticket to St. Louis."


	3. Life's Not The Same Without You

They were a day outside of Hays and Matt's ribs were really starting to become a problem. He tried very hard to disguise the pain but he suspected Jase knew it. He could hardly wait until he could turn Jase over and push Buck to his limit to get home to Kitty. He reached for his canteen and that slight movement brought a quick intake of air that he hoped Jase hadn't noticed. "Mind if I have some too lawman?" Matt turned to give him the canteen and Jase smiled. "Seems to me you're in a little pain there Dillon."

"I'm fine, you finished with that?"

"Yep, here ya go."

Jase handed the canteen back to Matt and as he tied it on his saddle horn he felt his body being torn from the saddle. Both men crashed to the earth and Matt's head now hurt as badly as his ribs. It took all he could to regain his bearings and grab at Jase but he had already gotten to his feet and again kicked Matt in the ribs. The pain was so intense that Matt lay stunned for a second. He felt Jase grabbing at his gun but he found just enough strength to push him away. Jase got to his feet and saw Matt doubled over in pain not paying attention to him. He started to make a run for his horse when a gunshot kicked dirt up on his boots. "Take another step and I won't be aiming at the dirt."

"Oh, come on Dillon you ain't shooting no one in the back."

"I'll make an exception for you." Matt slowly got to his feet. "Now, get on your horse."

"You know Dillon you really are somethin'. Does it really mean that much to you to see me hang?"

"Not up to me. A judge and jury will do the deciding."

Jase started to laugh. "You know what would really be funny lawman is they don't find me guilty. You would have gone through all this for nothin'." Jase was almost doubled over in laughter. "Oh, I would certainly have to come to Dodge to look ya up then. No, maybe I'll check out that pretty redhead of yours first and show her what a real man can do." Matt grabbed Jase by the collar. "I never want to see you in Dodge, do you hear me?"

"Take it easy Dillon gettin' this upset is not helping those aching ribs of yours."

"I told you to get on your horse!" Matt pushed him and he landed on his saddle.

With every step Buck took the pain grew more intense. Jase was waiting for Matt to fall off his horse from exhaustion and then he would be home free. Matt held his side and tried to think about anything else but the pain. He tried to imagine getting home to Kitty and wrapping his body around hers and staying there for the rest of his life. He started to smile when he realized that no matter the pain, no matter where he was she could still arouse him. Matt was trying to get comfortable in the saddle as Jase watched him. Time was getting short and he had to make his move. "Come on Dillon we've been riding for hours can't we just get off and stretch our legs?"

"All right for five minutes then we get back on the trail."

"OK, five minutes." Jase dismounted and walked around under Matt's watchful eyes. He could see the pain he was in as he moved closer to Matt's horse. Matt drew his gun, "Stay over there."

"Marshal, I just want to get some water." Matt moved away from Buck and let Jase move toward the saddle to get a drink as he followed his every move. "That does taste good." He put the cap back on the canteen and as he was putting it around the horn of the saddle he quickly swung it and hit Matt in the side of the head. The distraction was enough for Jase to overcome Matt as they tussled on the ground. It took all of Matt's strength to throw Jase off him but he was slow to rise as Jase again went for Matt's ribs. His body fell to the earth like a thud but fortunately near his gun. He immediately grabbed for it as Jase's tried to pry his hand away. He tried to kick Jase but the man wouldn't go down. He was able to wrestle the gun away from Jase but as much as he wanted to he couldn't pull the trigger. "I'm getting a little tired of this game of yours. You're going to Hays so you better come to terms with that. Now get on your horse." Jase got mounted and they moved on.

They arrived in Hays and the Sheriff took Jase off of Matt's hands. As Jase was being taken into the jailhouse he turned to Matt, "Hey Marshal, say hello to your beautiful redhead for me. Yes sir, she's some piece of," the deputy pulled Jase into the jail as Matt started to make a move towards him but the Sheriff restrained him. Jase just laughed as Matt winced from the pain. "You had to listen to that all trip?"

"Pretty much."

The Sheriff pointed towards Matt's side, "Matt maybe you should go see the Doc."

"Naw, I want to get back to Dodge. I'll see Doc first thing when I get back."

"Sure I can't convince you to stay the night? My Betsy wouldn't mind putting out another plate and you'd get a chance to get the trail dust off of you not to mention a good night's sleep."

"Thanks Joe but I really do want to get home."

"OK but I wish you would reconsider." They shook hands and Matt went towards the general store to buy more supplies. He noticed the telegraph office and decided to make this his first stop. "Hello Marshal what can I do for you?"

"I need to send a telegram."

"OK, who to?"

"Kitty Russell, Long Branch Saloon, Dodge City."

"What's the message?"

"Message to read, in Hays City STOP should be home in a couple of days STOP keep the light on STOP I'm all yours Matt."

The telegraph operator looked up at the big man with a slight smile. "Sure thing Marshal, will send it right away." Matt left payment on the desk, "much obliged."

As he left the building he noticed a woman's shop across the street. He really hated to go in these places but he needed to do something special for all the worry he knew he had caused her this trip. As he entered the front door the little door bell rung, "Be with you in a moment," a voice called from the back room. Matt walked around hoping he would see something quickly so he could make a fast exit. "Something I can help you, oh,"

"There something wrong Miss?"

"No, just that we don't get many men in here, well, come to think of it I believe you're the first. Is there something you were looking for in particular?"

"No, I thought maybe something would catch my eye," just then he saw a nightgown that would fit Kitty's attributes perfectly. He blushed when he took it off the rack.

"You wouldn't happen to have this in blue would you?"

"I believe I do." She went to the back storeroom and reappeared with the nightgown on her arm.

"This is really a nice choice. She'll love the way it'll feel on her skin." Matt could really feel his face turning a bright shade of red which only reinforced why he hates these stores.

"Oh, sorry Marshal, I'm use to talking with women I guess. I'll tell you one thing I wish I had a man who would surprise me with a beautiful gown like this. She's a lucky woman."

"No ma'am I am one lucky man!" She finished wrapping the gown and Matt made his exit. His next stop was the general store. He picked up the supplies he needed and then back on Buck and home to Dodge.

It was dusk on the third day and Matt was on the outskirts of town. He stopped at the Mexican restaurant that Kitty loves so much and picked up her favorite meal. As tired as he was on the trail he was now equally energized as he got closer to the Long Branch. He stopped in front of the saloon, meal and gown in hand, and made his way up the back stairs. He entered their room set the meal up on the table, laid the gown on the bed, heated some water, and quickly took a bath. He knew he should have gone to Doc's and have him look at his ribs but he needed to hold Kitty first. He walked down the back stairs and made his way into the saloon's back door. He first checked the office and the store room and seeing that she wasn't there made his way into the saloon. He looked around but he didn't see Kitty. Floyd caught his eye and he walked over to the bar. "Hello Marshal, can I get you a beer?"

"Ah, no Floyd, see Kitty?"

Floyd really didn't know how to answer him. He stared at Matt without a sound. "Floyd, where's Kitty?" Just then Doc entered the bar. "Good heavens Matt you look terrible, what happened? Come on up to my office and let me take a look at you."

"Later Doc, I want to know where Kitty is." Doc looked around. "Matt, it's a little quieter in my office. Come on now I'll take a look at you and we'll have a talk."

"She's all right isn't she Doc?"

"Matt just come to my office." A sick feeling ran through him when he thought something might have happened to her. Doc was taking his time climbing the stairs so Matt grabbed his key, pushed past him, and flung open Doc's office door. He looked around the room but nobody was there. He ran to the back room and the bed was empty. "What's gotten into you Matt?"

"Doc, I'm not going to ask you again, where is Kitty?"

"I'm really not sure Matt."

"What do you mean you're not sure?"

"Henry at the depot says she took the stage to St. Louis."

"How could you let her go Doc? Where's Festus, Newly, I asked them to watch over her."

"Matt none of us knew anything. I talked to her the night before she left. Everything was fine, oh sure, she was worried about you but nothing out of the ordinary. I was on my way to breakfast when I saw her hurrying down to the stage depot. I tried to stop her, ask where she was going but she didn't want to tell me. So I asked Henry and he told me."

"Did she say who she might be visiting Doc. A clue to why she would just go to St. Louis?"

"Matt, I told you she didn't want to talk about it."

"And you haven't heard from her since?"

"No Matt, none of us have."

"Well, I'm gonna' go through the room. She might have left me a note." Matt made his way to the door.

"Now hold on a minute Matt I want to take a look at those ribs."

Matt grabbed at his side, "There not important to me now Doc."

"Well, they're important to me. Now come on over here and sit down." Doc removed Matt's shirt and winced at the sight. "I just don't know how you're still standing. Let me tie them up since it doesn't seem like you'll be moving around too much tonight." Doc raised his eyebrows as a small smile crossed his face.

"I don't find you amusing Doc."

"She kinda ruined your plans tonight huh?"

"She could be in danger Doc."

"Well, maybe you should have thought about that before you went traipsing across the prairie."

"I had to go Doc."

"Yeah, I know like you always do but you know Matt you can't have it both ways anymore. You have to decide son. Your long absences take a terrible toll on Kitty, terrible toll. I think it's about time you started to put her first." Doc pulled the bandage tighter. "Ow, Doc I have to breathe ya know."

"Oh, hush up and sit still!"

He was feeling physically better as he left Doc's office but emotionally he was unsettled. He went up the back stairs and opened the door to their room. He looked everywhere that he felt Kitty would have left a note but he couldn't find anything. He lay back on the bed and as soon as his head hit the pillow he fell into a deep sleep.

The sun was streaming through the lace curtains and Matt's mind was racing as he stared up at the ceiling. His body was still aching and he wished that Kitty were there to make him feel better. He felt so confused and certainly didn't have a clue on how to find her. He carefully sat up and as his eyes adjusted he noticed a piece of paper lying on the floor. He grabbed his side and slowly walked over and picked it up. His mood turned darker when he realized that it was the telegram that he sent from Hays. Someone must have slipped it under the door so he now knew she had left without reading it. He placed it on the table and Matt made his way back to bed. He decided he would let Festus and Newly handle the town today because he was going back to sleep.

Doc shuffled into the Long Branch, "Floyd you see Matt?"

"No Doc I haven't."

Doc made his way to the second floor and knocked on the door. In a low voice Matt called for the person to come in. "How ya feeling?"

"I've been better I'll tell you that much Doc."

"Well, you're doing the right thing by resting."

"I've been racking my brain trying to figure out who Kitty might have gone to see in St. Louis. I guess I could telegram some of the places we stayed when we went there but I really don't know what else to do."

"Matt I agree with you that Kitty is not acting herself but I think we just have to give her some time. Whatever is bothering her I'm sure she'll let us know when she is ready."

"We won't even know if she needs our help Doc she could be out there somewhere in trouble and I'm lying here not doing a thing about it."

"Matt stop torturing yourself and just relax. I'm sure we'll be hearing from Kitty any day now." Doc patted his arm, "I'm going to breakfast. I'll bring you back something, you just rest."

A week had gone by since Matt returned to Dodge. He had sent telegrams to places in St. Louis where they had been and Wichita, Abilene, and Hays. No one fitting the description or the name could be found. He made his way over to his office, took his gun belt off, and sat down in his chair. He leaned back against the wall and was alone with his thoughts when Newly came through the door. "Howdy Marshal, how you feeling?"

"Well, I'm able to breathe a little better."

"Oh, I know broken ribs can be very painful. Well, seeing that you're here there's no sense in me sticking around."

"Newly, could you sit down a minute?"

"Sure thing."

Newly sat at the table in the middle of the room facing Matt. He stared waiting for Matt to continue the conversation but Matt returned the stare and didn't say a word. "Something troubling you Marshal?"

"As a matter of fact there is but I'm not sure how to talk about it." Matt threw up his hands in exasperation.

"Would you like more time off, I mean, I have no problem filling in."

"No, nothing like that," Matt thought a minute, "You remember my friend Adam Kimbro?"

"Yes sir, he visited here not too long ago."

Matt got up and looked out of the jailhouse window, "He was lawman through and through and I looked up to him, respected him, and quite frankly wanted to do everything like him." Newly's eyes followed Matt as he paced the jailhouse floor. "The one thing he taught me over and over again was to be a lawman first. To keep distractions to a minimum, and by distractions he meant a woman, and I lived by that creed for more years than I can remember." Matt turned to Newly hand raised as if to make a point, "now don't get me wrong, I had my share of women when I was younger but as soon as they started talking home and family well, let's just say we parted company." Matt continued to pace the floor, "for some reason I had convinced myself that I needed to be free that this was the only way to live," Matt smiled, "that was until Kitty. She was the one woman who never demanded anything from me; all she ever wanted was my love." Matt shook his head, "do you know how many times I let her down?" With a pensive look he turned towards Newly, "Newly, do you still miss Patricia?"

"Everyday sir that never goes away I'm afraid."

Matt ran his fingers through his hair, "why would she just leave without telling anyone?" Matt again went to the window and looked down toward the Long Branch. He took a deep breath as he shook his head, "I should have married her Newly. Oh, in the beginning neither one of us wanted that but when it became important to Kitty to be my wife and to have my children it should have been important to me." Matt hit the wall and turned toward Newly, "You can understand why I didn't, can't you?"

"Begging your pardon sir, but no I can't. To have someone like Miss Kitty love you makes you a very lucky man in my book. I only wish that I could have had more time with Patricia but it's not too late for you. When Miss Kitty comes back, and I really believe she will, I would make it a point to cherish her."

Matt sat down in the chair across from Newly. He looked down at the table as his hand ran across it. "You know it's funny. I never expected to live this long so I made decisions based on living a short life." Matt stood again and walked toward the window. "All the while I was out on the prairie tracking Dakota I thought about her. You know, after all these years I still look forward to seeing her. I just hope she still feels the same way."

Newly rose from the chair and stood next to Matt. "I don't know where she went Marshal but what I do know is that she loves you very much, that much is plain. I don't think that will ever change." As Newly made his way to the door he looked back at Matt who seemed so lost staring out the window. He hoped for Matt's sake he wasn't wrong.

Matt spent the next week making the stagecoach, train, post, and telegraph office a daily stop hoping for some word from Kitty. Doc and Festus watched as Matt made his way back from the train depot. "Doc, I ain't seen nothin' like this in all my born days. You and I both knows that Miss Kitty and Matthew belongs together but she just up and disappears not tellin' nobody where she be a goin' and Matthew well he's a been a frettin' and all kinds of quiet. He don't wanna' do nothin' all he wants to do is check on some word from Miss Kitty. I'm a worryin' 'bout him Doc.

"Well, Festus there's nothing we can do. We can be a friend to him and if he wants to talk we can listen.

"Ya think they had a fight or somethin' Doc?

"I don't think Kitty wanted Matt to go after what's his name," Doc snapped his fingers, "Dakota, that's right Jase Dakota."

"Whys she so upset 'bout Matthew goin' after this here Dakota fella?"

"Festus, it's not Dakota she is upset about."

"Then what's she upset 'bout Doc?"

"I don't know! Do I look like I know everything about Kitty and Matt? They're the most frustrating, the most exasperating two people I've ever met in my life." Doc started to walk away from Festus and then made a quick turn towards him. "And if you were smart you wouldn't give this another thought." As Doc walked away, Festus could hear him mumbling under his breath, "what's she mad at, how am I suppose to know, two stubborn people."

Festus watched Doc walk towards his office, "ornery ole scudder, don't wanna' help no one."

A few days later Doc and Matt were eating breakfast in Delmonico's. Matt was playing with his eggs, "they get cold?"

"Hmm?"

"Your eggs, they get cold? You've been playing with them for a few minutes now."

"Yeah, I don't know Doc I guess I'm not that hungry."

Doc put his coffee cup back in its saucer, "Matt, you can't stop living."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"What if she doesn't come back?"

"I don't want to think about that. I can't help but think there's something I should be doing."

"Don't be ridiculous Matt, she needed to get away that's all. She'll be back, now finish your breakfast." Doc paid for breakfast and left Matt sitting at the table. "Marshall, you want another cup of coffee?"

"Oh, no thanks Joe, I'll be leaving in a minute."

"No rush Marshal."

He lifted his large frame from the chair and made his way to the door. As he stepped on the boardwalk he noticed the stage had arrived. He walked toward the depot hoping that this morning Kitty would bound off the stage and into his waiting arms. "How are you this morning Marshal?"

"Fine Amos."

"Got some mail for ya here. Oh, yeah, here it is."

Matt quickly leafed through the bundle but no word from Kitty. He let out a deep sigh as he pushed the hat back on his head. _Maybe Doc is right she might not come back_. He started to make his way down the boardwalk when he heard, "hello cowboy." He whirled around and looked at the depot doorway. His pace quicken as he approached her. Before either one could say a word Matt grabbed Kitty in a bear hug and hungrily kissed her. "I'm so glad you're all right."

"Matt, people are watching."

"Kitty I don't care. All I care about is you. Where have you been?"

"Matt, we'll talk about it later. Right now I just want to get back home."

"Kitty let me take your bag."

"Matt, if it's all right with you I want to be alone."

"Sure Kitty but I don't understand."

"We'll talk I promise but not now."

All Matt could do was watch Kitty make her way to the Long Branch.

Kitty opened the door to their room. She smiled when she realized that Matt had been sleeping in their bed. She put her bag down and noticed something on the oversized armchair. She picked up the garment by the straps and admired the gown. She wrapped her arms around it as tears came to her eyes. "Oh, Matt."

For the next couple of days Matt went about his duties as a U.S. Marshal. He was thankful that Kitty was back even though he hadn't seen her since she left him at the depot. Whatever was troubling her he was willing to give her all the time she needed. He just wished he could be with her now to tell her everything that he had wanted to say since he returned. He made his way up Doc's stairs as a pair of beautiful blue eyes followed his every move. "Oh Matt, come in, something the matter?"

"My arm's been bothering me a little Doc. I thought you might take a look at it."

Doc smiled and shook his head as he made his way over to his examining table. He had a feeling it was more like he needed to talk than any physical pain. "Let me take a look here."

Matt was very quiet and unable to pinpoint exactly what was wrong with his arm. Doc was poking and prodding Matt's arm when, "Ow, Doc what do you have there a butcher knife?"

"Don't mind what I have here, just sit still."

"Well, it's a little difficult when it feels like you're opening my arm up again."

"Oh, hush."

"What's the verdict Doc?"

Doc tugged on his ear, "Well, I can't see anything wrong with it. Where's the pain coming from again?"

Matt pointed in numerous spots. "Oh, I don't know somewhere here," as he broad bushed his arm.

"Well, I don't think I'll make my dollar from this today."

"What do you mean?"

"Matt, you didn't come here today because of your arm."

Matt looked down, "Doc, how long am I going to have to wait? She said we'd talk but it's been days."

Doc ran his hand over his moustache as he walked away from Matt. "It's not like Kitty to be acting like this even though she has every right with the way you've been treating her."

"What was I suppose to do?"

"What I've told you to do a hundred times before. Take that beautiful redhead across the street and go off somewhere, live your life instead of worrying who might be in the next alley to blow your head off."

"It's always a comfort talking to you, Doc!"

"It's because I speak the truth and for that matter I must have told you, oh, three, four years ago to take that badge off. That people would understand that there was a limit to what any man could do. Well, if I have to I'll give you that speech again today."

"I think you already have."

"Well then it hasn't sunk in yet. Do you know what you put Kitty through every time you leave town? There's a limit to what she should be expected to take too, you know."

"Doc, Kitty knew that was part of the job. She understood why I had to be away for long periods of time."

"For a man who is so smart you are pretty stupid. Sure she might have said she understood but there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't worry. Every night she'd stand in front of the Long Branch hoping that you would come around the corner. Every night she'd keep that light in her room lit hoping that it would lead you home. How much more are you going to put her through? She's loved you without conditions for almost twenty years. Matt, it's her time now."

Matt got off the table, grabbed his hat and walked towards the door. "Matt, I know you love her, oh, you try very hard to hide that but there is no denying it when she walks into a room. Do right by her now." He didn't respond only opened the door and made his way down the stairs.

Matt went back to his office put his hat on the peg and sat down in his chair. He flipped through the mail but he couldn't concentrate. He had to find out what was troubling Kitty even if she didn't want him in her life he had to know. He got up grabbed his hat and made his way over to the back stairs of the Long Branch. Doc smiled as he watched Matt take the stairs two at a time. He turned the key in the lock and entered their room. Kitty was preparing a bath, dropping in bath oils that she had just gotten from New Orleans. She was just about to drop her bathrobe and enter the tub when she heard the door open. Matt walked towards her and smiled. His eyes took in the beauty before him and he hesitantly spoke, "looks like I caught you at the perfect time."

He was somewhat surprised when she walked towards him and put her hands on his chest as her robe swung open to expose part of her body. "Looks like you could use a relaxing soak too cowboy."

"Don't mind if I do," Matt hurriedly undressed before she had a chance to change her mind.

He entered the tub first and she laid her back against him. They both closed their eyes and let the warm water and oils soothe their world-weary bodies. After awhile, Matt started to kiss her neck and Kitty could feel his arousal.

"Matt?"

"Hmm?"

"I want to discuss something with you."

"Now?"

"Yes."

He took a deep breath, stopped what he was doing, and gave her his undivided attention.

"I didn't go to St. Louis."

"What?"

"I didn't go to St. Louis."

"Kitty, you're not making any sense."

"I went to New Orleans."

"Instead of St. Louis? Why?"

"I saw John Chapman."

"Dr. John Chapman?"

"Yes, we've been corresponding since he left Dodge." She took a deep breath. "This isn't going to be easy to tell you."

Matt sat silent afraid to hear any more. _Was she in love with John Chapman? Was Doc right was I taking too long and put her through too much that she found comfort in another man? A man who could give her so much? She had been writing to him? Why didn't she ever mention that to me before? _

"Matt, Matt, are you listening to me?"

He ran his fingers through his hair. "Yes, you were saying something about John Chapman and New Orleans."

"He is such a wonderful man, so kind and very understanding,"

Matt wanted this conversation to end quickly. He really didn't want to hear anymore about how wonderful John Chapman was. He had to know what her decision was and he had to know now. "Kitty, are you leaving me?"

"Yes, Matt, I'm going to New Orleans."

Matt sat stunned as the feeling that his life was spinning out of control consumed him. He had no words only a gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach that he couldn't make go away.

Kitty softly spoke, "I have to Matt. I need you to understand."

Matt stared into space trying to make some sense of everything he just heard. He was brought back to reality when he felt Kitty's hand run across his face.

"Matt, did you hear what I just said?"

In total disbelief he whispered, "Yes, you're leaving me and you are going to live in New Orleans." There was just one last question he needed to ask but wasn't sure if he wanted to know, "Kitty, do you love John?"

"Love John?" Kitty started to giggle. "Matt, what are you talking about?"

He was now more annoyed at her laughter than at the situation, "you just told me that you were moving to New Orleans to be with John Chapman."

"Oh Matt, no, I'm moving to New Orleans to keep our baby safe!"

"Our baby?"

"That's what I have been trying to tell you cowboy, you're going to be a father."

"How? When? I mean I thought."

"Normally yes cowboy I take care of that but when you came back after being out on the prairie for weeks with that busted right hand, well, frankly we were both in a little bit of a hurry." A huge grin spread across her face as she thought back to that night. "Truthfully I didn't have much time to think much less," Kitty looked into Matt's eyes for some reaction.

"Why couldn't you have let Doc examine you, why did you have to go to John?

"Oh, so Doc could be dragged out in the middle of the night, threatened at knife point, by a band of renegades to lead you to your wife and kid? Matt, that night is still so vivid in my mind. I never want anyone to go through that again. So if they think I've left and no one knows the reason I know I can keep Matthew Jr. here safe." Kitty laid her hand on her stomach.

He placed his hand over hers, "oh, you already know it's a boy, do ya?"

She smiled, "The way he has been making me feel lately he has all the makings of his daddy."

"Kathleen Russell, I love you and you too junior." He continued to rub her stomach then let his hand drop to rub more pleasurable places. Kitty let out with a soft moan.

"Let's go to bed the water is starting to get cold." She removed herself from the tub and grabbed a towel. Matt toweled her down concentrating on the places of her body that elicited those soft responses. She turned to him and grabbed the towel, "My turn," before she could finish toweling him off he lifted her in his arms and carried her to bed. He gently lay her down on the sheets and climbed in next to her. As he ran his hand over her body Kitty noticed his pensive face. "Something wrong Matt?"

"Should we be doing this? I mean is everything OK? We won't hurt the baby, will we?"

Kitty just smiled, "No, everything is fine."

The next morning Matt awoke to Kitty retching in the bowl.

"Kitty is there anything I can do, should I get Doc?"

As she came back to bed she looked at those blue eyes, eyes with love, passion, and gentleness. "No, it's just junior letting me know he's still here."

"Kitty, I'm so sorry that you have to go through all this."

"From what I hear and have seen, this is the least of it." She touched his cheek, "But, I wouldn't miss having this child for the world."

"But, you are going to be in New Orleans."

Kitty had never seen such sadness before in his eyes, "come with me cowboy. It's not like we haven't talk about your retiring one day.

"I can't right now Kitty I'm still waiting for the new Marshal. Do you have to leave so soon?"

"I'm going to start showing and believe me all the biddies in this town will have a field day when they spot it, and then there's Doc. You don't think he'll notice?"

"It's not going to be easy saying good bye." She thought she saw his eyes start to tear as he looked away.

"Matt, we are not saying good bye, at least I don't think we are, are we?"

"No."

"Then you join us as soon as you can. Just remember you have to make everyone believe that my leaving has upset you greatly."

"That won't be hard I will be lost without you here. Kitty you have never been away for months before, now with our child."

"Come when you can Matt, but please don't make it long."

"Will you have the light lit in your window?"

"Always, you know that cowboy."

Matt wanted to hold her forever. He wanted to make love to her forever. He never wanted them to be apart again but he knew she was doing the right thing. The most important fact was that Kitty and his child would be safe. History had proven that he would not be able to keep them from harm if they remained in Dodge. He leaned down and placed a kiss on her stomach. "Matthew, you take care of your mama for me. I promise you and her that I will join you very soon. Oh, and stop giving her a hard time. I've done that enough to last her two lifetimes."

Matt laid his head down across her stomach and Kitty began to stroke his hair. More grays now but still full and wavy. Life couldn't get any better for Kitty Russell. She lay here with the man she loves and the child they created growing inside her. She was going to have to leave soon and that would be the most painful moment of all.

TBC


	4. A Thousand Miles Away

They had shared a very loving evening interrupted only by an occasional conversation about their plans and dreams. Matt had awoken first and stayed to help Kitty gather her essentials and all the special mementos that she had acquired over the years. She hated to leave most of her wardrobe behind but she wasn't going to need those dresses anyway in a couple of months. They had decided that they would say their goodbyes in her room and she would board the train alone with no fond farewells at the depot. They stood holding each other in the quiet darkness for what seemed like an eternity. He gently kissed her running his fingers down her face. "I love you Kitty and I don't want to let you go."

She looked up into his loving blue eyes, "I know Matt but I think we both know it's for the best." She laid her head back on his chest, "I'm gonna' miss you cowboy."

"It won't be long, I promise." He kissed her again and then headed for the door. He turned back to see her gathering a few more things and at that moment he wasn't sure how he was ever going to be able to stay here without her. He entered his office, put his hat on the peg and sat down at his desk chair. He looked around the jailhouse and for the first time he noticed how empty and cold it was. A chill shot through his body so he stood to start a fire. As he stood before the stove he looked out the window to see her solitary figure walking the streets of Dodge. As she made her way to the train, his eyes followed her every move until she disappeared from view.

He closed the stove as the heat started to fill the room. He stood for a moment staring out on Front Street as he made some coffee. He took the mug and turned to sit back down in his chair, lifting those long legs up on the desk, back leaning against the stark wall. He laughed when he thought about Kitty Russell pregnant. He was pretty sure she was going to be a handful since he heard many stories about the emotional highs and lows of pregnant women. Nonetheless, he was so looking forward to this change in his life. He was sipping his coffee enjoying the peacefulness of the morning when the office door flew open.

"What in thunder are you doing?"

"Good morning, Doc. Something the matter?"

"You mean to tell me that you don't know that Kitty is gone?"

"I know." Matt sat forward on his chair and surveyed the papers on his desk.

"And you're not going to do anything about it?"

"What can I do?"

"You could have at least made an effort to get her to stay!"

"How do you know I didn't?"

"Because she would still be here!" Doc rubbed his hand over his moustache. "I walked into the Long Branch this morning and here's this woman Hannah telling me she is the new owner of the saloon."

"Half owner."

"What?"

"Half owner, Doc."

"How do you know that?"

"Maybe you are under the impression that Kitty and I don't talk."

"Oh, you talk all right, but you never listen!" Doc walked to the window and looked out at Front Street. "You're not going after her?"

"Doc, she made it clear she doesn't want me to."

Doc turned back to look at Matt, "oh, and you're listening to her now, are you?"

"Do you think this is easy on me?" Matt ran his fingers through his hair. "Maybe I've come to realize this too late but she is my life Doc, my life. Sure I could have done things differently, given up the badge, married her, but it just didn't work out the way everyone planned."

Doc paced the office then turned back towards Matt, "You're a dang fool, Matthew Dillon, you know that? If only I was a few years younger, I, well, you would have had a real fight on your hands, let me tell you." He continued his pacing, "I wish I was lucky enough to be the man she was so madly in love with!"

Matt wished he could tell him the truth but he knew Kitty was right. "Doc, if I thought it would do any good I would get on Buck right now and look day and night for her. I'm just going to have to face the fact that Kitty is gone and I'm going to have to try to get on with my life."

Doc walked over to Matt and placed his hand on his shoulder. "I just wished, no, hoped that one day you would have settled down with that fiery redhead and, well, maybe had a kid or two," Doc flailed his arms, "oh, I don't know."

Doc dropped his head as Matt forced a smile. "There's a lot of things I would have liked to do but I had this badge and this responsibility and,"

Doc raised his hand to get Matt to stop, "I guess that's says it all, doesn't it?" Doc shook his head. "I'm going over for some breakfast, care to join me?"

Matt shook his head as he pointed to the pile of papers in front of him, "thanks anyway Doc but I've got this paperwork to do. I'll see ya later."

Doc headed for the door then turned back to Matt. "I hope you haven't made the biggest mistake of your life!" He walked through the doorway and closed the door.

Matt started to go through the papers on his desk but his concentration was at an all time low. Memories of their last night together flooded his mind, her touch, her soft skin, her long flowing hair and those eyes. He reached into his drawer and pulled out the government papers he filled out last night with Kitty by his side. That was his promise to her that he would retire and he was going to keep that promise. He rose from his desk, papers in hand, and headed for the post office.

"Mornin' Marshal what's ya got there?

"Some papers I need sent as quickly as possible."

"Looks real official like."

"They're nothing special, just the usual paperwork that I send to Washington.

"But you don't usually send them in a rush."

"Well, I'm pretty behind." Matt let out a little laugh. "Don't want to lose my job."

"Oh, Marshal don't go sayin' nothin' like that. We need ya here."

"Henry, don't worry, I'm not going anywhere."

"I best be sending these out right away then. This town wouldn't be what it is without you Marshal."

"Thanks, Henry."

As Matt left the post office he stood on the boardwalk and took a deep breath. He glanced around the town and it now looked different to him. He stepped off the wooden planks onto the dusty dirt street and made his way back to the jail. As he approached the red brick building, he looked up at the second floor of the Long Branch and couldn't help but remember. He stood for a second as he looked at her window. That was his sanctuary, his fortress from the world for so many years. She was the one constant in his life and she will be again, but this time it will be forever.

Kitty exited the train when she noticed John coming towards her. After a friendly embrace John led her to his coach where he would take her to the house that would be her home. As they made their way down St. Charles Avenue Kitty was very quiet. "Was everything all right on your trip down?"

"Oh, yes, fine."

"Still having morning sickness?"

"Almost everyday."

"When we get to the house you're going to lie down and rest. I'll get you something to soothe that feeling." John looked over at Kitty. "Is that the only thing that's bothering you?"

"Just leaving Dodge I guess." Kitty looked out at the scenery for awhile before she spoke again. "I hated to leave Matt."

"Kitty you and I both know that it's for the best. Now, I don't mean to offend you but you are not exactly in what we call prime child bearing years. You are going to need more rest than a younger woman and being back in Dodge was not going to be restful enough. Besides, too many things can happen in the Long Branch that might be detrimental to your well being. No, Kitty, this is the place for you to be."

She wrapped her arm around his. "John, I know. I want this child more than anything else in the world and I will do anything I have to do to make that happen." She waved her hand, "Matt will come down when he can and in the meantime I know I'm going to be in very good hands."

John smiled, "Kitty, I'm so happy for you. I've never seen you look more radiant. Now, you just leave everything up to me and follow my orders, OK?"

"Whatever you say doctor." They looked at each other and smiled. She took a deep breath, "in a way, I'm glad to be back home."

"Hannah get herself situated at the Long Branch?"

"Without a hitch. I was lucky that she bought into the place on such short notice. John, I just know she is going to be a wonderful partner."

"Well, her business is flourishing down here. I've known her for a long time and if anyone is up for a little adventure it's her, that's why I mentioned it. Now don't worry she has no idea that you were coming here."

"John, I don't know how I am ever going to repay you for all your kindness."

"You just have a healthy baby and that will be repayment enough."

Kitty started to laugh. "What's so funny?"

"I would love to be a fly on the wall when the regulars walk into the Long Branch and find Hannah behind the bar."

John chuckled, "Certainly going to be a change in scenery, that's for sure."

They pulled up in front of the house. Kitty looked up at the white and gray two- story Victorian structure and was overcome by the sight. John helped her down from the coach and she stood in front of a black wrought iron fence that surrounded the house. John took her arm and they made their way along the slate walkway to the front staircase. As they stood on the wraparound porch she lingered awhile picturing Matt and her sitting in one of the many rocking chairs finally getting to enjoy life. "Are you all right Kitty?"

"Oh, I'm fine, just daydreaming I guess."

"No problem with that. Now, let me show you the rest of the house." She followed him to the front door admiring the beautifully etched double glass door. As John searched for the key it gave her time to admire the craftsmanship on the ornate front door. The door opened into a long hallway with beautifully dark hardwood floors that led into the kitchen area. To their left was a mahogany staircase leading to the second floor. The wall of the staircase was a cherry wood that had two high stain glass windows near the top that displayed splashes of color on the hallway wall downstairs late in the day. Directly across from the staircase was a comfortable living room with a fireplace, high ceilings, and beautiful antique furnishings. The little alcove had three large windows with stain glass on top and two little chairs that she thought would be a perfect place to read. The dining room had a unique hutch with an oblong matching table and chairs. Both rooms had a soothing peach color with white doorways and hand carved crown molding. Before the kitchen there was a rather large room with floor to ceiling book cases surrounding the oversized stuff chairs and small coffee table. It looked like a library but Kitty had other thoughts. She smiled as she imagined watching Matt hold their son as she prepared their meals. The kitchen was expansive with while walls and dark wood cabinets. There was a small glass table top with chairs that she assumed were for those times you dined less formally. There was also a staircase leading to the second floor. They made their way back to the living room and sat on the couch. "John, this house is beautiful."

"I hope you find the rest of the house just as beautiful."

"Oh, I know I will. It is so beautifully furnished."

John sat back and looked around the room, "I bought this house many years ago for an investment. I used to rent it out but after the last tenant left I thought I might want to make this my permanent home and rent out the home I am living in now. I was in the process of making the switch when you came to see me. I feel you will be more comfortable here so this house is yours until you feel like leaving."

"Oh, John, I don't want you to change your plans. Please, I'll live in your other home."

"Kitty, it's settled now so why don't I help you upstairs and you can unpack and take a little rest before we have dinner. OK? Besides, I want this baby to have all the comforts a new born should have and grow up in beautiful surroundings."

"Thanks John but when Matt gets here I'm assuming,"

"Now, when Matt gets here we will all discuss it then. I'm not going to hear any more about it, all right?

Kitty kissed him on the cheek, "dinner is on me."

"I would like nothing more than to have a beautiful lady taking me out to dinner. Now, you just rest awhile and I'll pick you up around seven. Come on now, let's get you upstairs."

Festus and Doc were making their way down the boardwalk towards the Long Branch. Festus had been out of town for a few days and was not aware that Kitty had left and Hannah had taken over the saloon. As they approached the bar Doc ordered two beers. "Much obliged Doc."

"Obliged about what?"

"Well, you orderin' me a beer, that's what."

"Who's ordering you a beer?"

"Ya just ordered two beers."

"Oh, and you automatically assumed the other one was for you?"

"I don't see nobody else Doc."

"Festus, didn't the thought ever cross your mind that maybe I was ordering them but that I was expecting you to pay?"

"You ole scudder, you know I don't gets paid till the end of the month."

"Oh, so you're just gonna' mooch off people until then?

"I don't do no moochin' you old quackedy quack and besides where I come from someone orders somethin' then they do the payin'. Now if you wanna' be an old skinflint," just then Festus noticed Hannah come from the office door and stand behind the bar. He hit Doc's arm, "Looky over there Doc, who's that?

"Who's who?"

"That woman a standin' behind the bar. She just came out from Miss Kitty's office and now she's a standin' behind the bar likes she owns the place."

"Well, that's because she does."

"What'd ya mean Doc?"

"She bought the place from Kitty or half bought it, I don't know."

"Where's Miss Kitty Doc?"

"I don't know."

"What ya mean ya don't know Doc? Does Matthew know?"

"He doesn't know either."

"I'm not believin' that Doc. How's Matthew not know?" Just then the batwing doors opened and in stepped Matt. He made his way over to Doc and Festus. Before Festus could say anything Doc turned to Matt. "I took the liberty of ordering you a beer Matt," as he chuckled to himself.

"He he he, go ahead laugh it up ya old skinflint, pfst."

"Floyd bring Festus a beer will you before he passes out from dehydration!"

Hannah made her way over to the three men. "Matt, Doc, and, I'm sorry I don't think we've met."

"Names Festus ma'am, Festus Haggen."

Hannah reached out her hand, "Please to meet you Festus. Now I know it's going to take a little gettin' use to seein' me behind the bar but I hope you'll all continue to do your drinkin' here."

Doc watched Matt's face but he still had that blank stare. If only Kitty would reconsider and return for his sake.

John had left her to rest but she was too excited to lie in bed any longer. She walked around the second floor and admired each of the four bedrooms; one more tastefully done than the next. She smiled when she thought of how she would love to fill all of those rooms with children. She came upon a little room with a small desk, lamp, and comfortable chair. This too had stain glass at the top of the windows and built around the fireplace was a ceiling to floor book case. This would be the perfect office she thought. She stood in the doorway of the huge master bedroom and marveled how well laid out it was. The room was painted in a soft blue color with more carved crown molding on the ceiling. She couldn't believe the size of the brass bed and all she could think about was how Matt and she would put that to good use. The rest of the room had a fireplace, walk in closet, and again exquisitely furnished. She especially loved the massive balcony outside the bedroom door. She stepped out and sat in one of the rocking chairs as she gently ran her hand over her stomach and started to cry. There were moments the sheer enormity of the situation overwhelmed her but she knew that she had never felt such joy in her life before. She sat outside for awhile then she went back into the room and lay down on the bed. She wondered what Matt was doing now and hoped he was still all right. She could hardly wait until he would be in her arms again, lying next to her, holding her tight. Her eyes started to get heavy and soon with thoughts of Matt and their child filling her head she fell to sleep.

Matt was tossing and turning on the cot in the office. He didn't know what was worse, knowing where Kitty was and not being with her or not knowing where she was. He knew she was in good hands in New Orleans and he couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy towards John. After all, he would be the one she would be relying on most during her pregnancy. He needed to go see her and see her soon. He wasn't sure why there was a hold up on sending the new Marshal all he knew was this was one time he couldn't let her down. He started to remember their last night together and how he wished he could hold her now. He was so deep in thought he didn't hear Festus come in. "Oh, Matthew, I didn't know you were in here."

"That's OK Festus, I was just resting."

Festus didn't know what to do or say. For the past couple of days Matt had been resting a lot and certainly wasn't acting like his old self. Festus continued to walk around the office, spurs jangling. "Festus, could you please sit still?"

"Sorry Matthew it's just that there is somethin' I need to get off my chest."

"What's that?"

"It don't set right with me about Miss Kitty leavin'. I can't help but feel that this is my fault."

"Festus, how could it be your fault?"

"Well, I wanted ya to become the Marshal again and when ya said ya would I was happier than a rooster in a hen house." He dropped his head and spoke just above a whisper, "I reckon' I could see that Miss Kitty wasn't so happy though."

"Festus, don't worry about it. I made the final decision. It was my own doing."

"Yeah, but Matthew I kept on pushin' ya to think about it and that maybe ifn' I hadn't made ya think about it that maybe you woulda' not thought about it and ifn' you didn't get to thinkin' about it then your thinkin' wouldn't have became your decidin' and ifn' you hadn't been decidin' then you woulda' be wit' Miss Kitty someplace else, don't cha see?"

Matt frowned before he looked over at Festus and shook his head. "Not really but please Festus don't do anymore thinking about it, OK?"

"But Matthew you just ain't been your ownself and I know ya been a worryin'."

"I'll always worry Festus but Kitty made her choice and now I have to live with that." Matt sat up. "You had dinner yet?"

"No, I hasn't."

"What do you say we go get something at Delmonico's? I'm buying."

Festus lit up, "I thinks that a plum good idea, Matthew."

They started to make their way to the front door. Matt grabbed his hat off the peg and they stepped in front of the jailhouse. They stopped for a moment then Matt turned to Festus, "Festus, I'm going to be fine so please stop worrying, OK?"

"Whatever ya say Matthew, now let's eat!" Festus clapped his hands together and led the way as Matt just shook his head and laughed. One thing was for certain a free meal could make Festus forget almost anything.

John and Kitty sat out on the front porch swaying back and forth in the rocking chairs. "Kitty I want to thank you for a very lovely dinner, well, truthfully the dinner wasn't half as lovely as the beautiful lady sitting next to me."

Kitty smiled, "thank you kind sir." She took a deep breath. "Walking around brought back so many memories." Kitty shook her head, "some I'd like to forget."

John reached over and took her hand, "now, now Kitty I don't want you to think about anything but the future. The bright future you and your child will have."

"And Matt."

"Of course, and Matt."

"What if people remember what I was and tell my child?"

"You'll handle it then. Right now I want you to concentrate on bringing this child into the world, nothing else."

"Of course, you're right John."

John looked at his watch. "Look at the time." He stood and helped Kitty from her chair. "I'm going to say good night but I want to see you in my office tomorrow."

"I'll be there." Kitty leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek and a big hug. "Thank you again John."

"Good night, Kitty."

She watched him walk down the path before she turned to walk into the house. The house was so big and very lonely. She made her way upstairs and entered the master bedroom. She changed into the nightgown that Matt had brought back from Hays City. After combing her hair she climbed into bed. Before long she fell asleep clutching the pillow with thoughts of Matt.

The season was starting to change and it had been three months since Kitty left Dodge. The new Marshal had just arrived and Matt was showing him around town. Thankfully, Festus seemed to get along with him but Matt wasn't sure whether Alex would keep him on.

Alex Bennington was one in a long line of peace officers. Originally from Oklahoma territory he was young, tall, sandy haired, with piercing blue eyes. He was a hit with the ladies wherever he went but he never stopped hoping that one day he would find his soul mate and settle down. His uncle was a circuit judge and it was he who suggested to Alex that he become a U.S. Marshal. He felt it had more prestige than a local law enforcement job and if Alex finally settled in one place Uncle Oliver was hoping that he would study law. Alex was excited about coming to Dodge even though he knew that Matt Dillon had really tamed the town he still felt it was one of the more important towns in the West. His only concern was that the townspeople would accept him. He knew he was filling some pretty big shoes but he felt he was definitely up for challenge. As they entered the office Alex went over to the coffee pot and poured a cup. "Care for some coffee Matt?"

"No, I'm fine." Matt sat at the table in the middle of the office.

Alex walked towards Matt and sat across from him, "I'm a little surprised."

"Why's that?"

"Town's been pretty quiet for weeks now. I thought I would have more to do than this."

"Wait till cattle season!"

Alex laughed. "I guess I shouldn't look for trouble and just enjoy the quiet."

"I know I would."

Alex sipped his coffee and eyed Matt, "what's your plan Matt?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to stay around Dodge after you retire?"

"I'm really not sure but there was something I wanted to ask you."

"Oh?"

"Technically, Washington wants me to stay around for the next nine months which I originally agreed to. I just thought while it was quiet I could get away for about a month or so."

"Where were you thinking of heading?"

"Up in the mountains. I have an old friend that I would love to see again, do some hunting and fishing. Just get away from responsibility for awhile."

"Sounds like a plan. For a minute there I thought you were going to say," Alex waved his hand and shook his head, "never mind."

"No, what were you going to say?"

"Matt, it's really none of my business."

"What isn't?"

"Well, I thought you were going to say that you needed some time to try and find Kitty Russell."

"Kitty?"

"I was surprised when I didn't see her in the Long Branch is all. I asked around and people told me that she left a few months ago, leaving no forwarding address."

"Who gave you that information, Burke?"

"Freight office, right?"

"Yep,"

Alex shook his head and smiled, "well, he wasn't the only one. To tell you the truth Matt I was surprised to see you here." He took a sip of coffee. "Someone told me you two were together twenty years? If you don't mind me saying so isn't that's a lot of years to just throw away?"

"Alex, she got tired of waiting. I don't blame her really."

Alex took another sip of coffee as he eyed Matt. "It seems a little strange that right after she left you filed the papers for retirement. From what people were saying that news would have made her very happy; might have even kept her here."

"If she was here I would have. She left before I could discuss anything with her."

"Why didn't you try to find her?"

Matt was starting to get agitated by Alex's questioning. "Because she didn't want to be found. She didn't tell anyone about her plans instead she just disappeared into the night."

"Aren't you even curious about where she might be or who she might be with?"

"Not any of my concern. She made her choice."

Alex took another sip of coffee but never took his eyes off Matt, "pardon me for saying this Matt but I hope the job never makes me that cold."

Matt glared at Alex. "Do you feel comfortable enough for me to get away for a month or so; yes or no?"

Alex was taken aback by the tone in Matt's voice, "I'll be fine Matt. Take all the time you need."

"Thanks, I'll make the arrangements." Matt stood and grabbed his hat off the peg making his way to the train depot. Alex walked over to the window and watched Matt walk away. He shook his head, _"Damn good lawman but at what cost?"_

Kitty was getting up off the examining table laughing that a simple task could be so difficult. "I'm glad to see you still have maintained your sense of humor."

She hit John's arm, "Oh, you." He helped her down off the table, "John when you came to Dodge would you in your wildest dreams ever think you'd see me in this condition?"

John chuckled, "No my dear lady I can honestly say that I couldn't but I have to admit you are the most beautiful pregnant woman I have ever seen."

"Now, I know that's a lie!"

He just smiled, "Are we still on for dinner?"

"I'll kill you if we're not."

"I know better than to ever disappoint a pregnant lady. I'll come over around seven?"

She leaned over and kissed him and gave him as big a hug as her body would allow. "Looking forward to it."

Kitty had thrived the past few months. She had more than settled into her new surroundings and she was thoroughly enjoying them. John had suggested she find a live in housekeeper so the house wouldn't seem so lonely. She had resisted until she met Maggie O' Leary. Maggie had been in New Orleans now for thirty years. Her cousin was the first to arrive in America and she had bombarded Maggie with letters about her adventure and how much she loved Louisiana. Maggie was so excited about starting a new life that she left her family in Ireland and made her way across the ocean. Her cousin cleaned homes so when Maggie came to live with her she split the houses she had to clean with her. The war separated them but she luckily found a job being the caretaker for a very rich woman. The woman had recently died and so Maggie was again unemployed. She had come to John's office one day to ask if they needed cleaning help and fortunately for both women she sat down next to Kitty in the waiting room. They spoke for awhile and the two women hit it off immediately. Kitty hired her on the spot and asked her to move in the next day. Kitty enjoyed Maggie's company so much and it was nice to have someone around just in case. Many a night Kitty would regale her with stories about Dodge and the West and Maggie would fill her in about the changing New Orleans. As time went on Kitty was ever so thankful to be out of that cow town and enjoying the city life again. John was a wonderful companion and she didn't know what she would have done without him but he could never replace her want or need for Matt. It disappointed her that she hadn't seen him by now and as the months passed she was beginning to think that he may have had second thoughts and not come at all. The more she thought about it, building a life on her own was becoming a real possibility so she started looking for business opportunities. She had her eye on a building on Royal Street that she imagined would make a fine little restaurant but realistically she knew that plan would have to wait until after the baby was born.

She was up in her room putting on the finishing touches before she came down for dinner. Maggie was in the kitchen and the aroma of Jambalaya was making her very hungry. John would be there soon and she was surprised to find that she was looking forward to his arrival. As she was descending the stairs the doorbell rang. "Maggie, I'm by the door I'll get it." She smiled when she saw him. John had the most beautiful arrangements of magnolias with pink roses and tulips interspersed to offset the white. He was standing there with an impeccable navy pin stripe suit and his ever present white plantation hat. He leaned in to give her a kiss and a warm hug and then stood back to look at her. He took her by the hands, "Kitty, I have no words for how you look tonight. I've never seen an expectant mother look more beautiful."

"For that comment, you deserve a drink."

Maggie was making her way into the hall when she saw the flowers. "Oh, Miss Kitty how beautiful and Doctor John you have outdone yourself. Let me take those and I'll arrange them for you." Maggie made her way into the kitchen to get a vase. Kitty grabbed the bourbon and poured John a drink. He led her to the sofa and helped her sit down then he took his place next to her. They chatted for a few minutes as John continued to sip his drink then Maggie announced that dinner was ready. The table was set with the finest china and crystal and the flowers that John brought were the centerpiece. The more Kitty saw of the house she was impressed by John's wonderful style and taste. They made their way to the dining room and John held the chair out for Kitty and made sure she was comfortable while he sat as close to her as he could. "This sure smells good." He placed the napkin in his lap, "So, how is Maggie working out?"

"Oh, John I love her and I really don't know what I would do without her. I want to thank you so much for pushing me to interview housekeepers. It's nice to have someone here."

"Well, the day is coming soon when you'll give birth and believe me a baby doesn't live by any time clock. So I just thought it would be best to have someone in the house especially those times when I'm not here."

Kitty smiled as they continued eating. "I was hoping that Matt would have been here by now. Each day that passes I start thinking he's not going to come." Kitty looked down and rubbed her stomach. "I've been giving this some thought and I've resigned myself to doing this on my own." She released a faint laugh, "at least I'll always have a part of him."

John smiled as he patted her hand, "Kitty, he'll get here as soon as he can I'm sure."

"Maybe." She continued to rub her stomach. "I guess I thought he was as happy as I was about the baby."

He squeezed her hand lightly, "now, I don't want you to give it another thought."

They had finished the meal and were relaxing over a cup of coffee. "What do you feel like doing? Would you like to go for a walk or just sit out on the porch?"

"A walk might be nice but John I feel so guilty tying up your time like this. Surely there are other things you could be doing."

John reached across the table as he took her hand and kissed it. He continued to hold her hand rubbing the top hand side with his thumb. "There is nothing in this world that is more important than you Kitty." She looked into his eyes but this time she saw more than friendship. They had grown closer the past couple of months but not enough for him to replace Matt in her heart. As they stared into each other's eyes it did frighten Kitty to think that she might be feeling more for him than friendship. She was so confused. Not only had her body changed but most of the time she felt as if she was on an emotional roller coaster. She wanted to feel Matt again, she needed to feel Matt again but her reality was sitting across the table and her fantasy was somewhere in Dodge or who knows where. Neither spoke waiting for the other to acknowledge the emotional pull they both were feeling. She didn't know what to do it was as if she had no control over her movements. John stood and helped her out of the chair. He cupped her face in his hands, "You're a marvelous woman Kitty Russell any man would be very happy to call you his own." She leaned closer to him and he moved towards her the rest of the way. They were so focused on one another that they were unaware of a tall man standing in the entrance of the dining room as their kiss became more passionate.

"Uh hum."

They broke from the kiss. Kitty turned and her eyes opened wide as she shrieked, "Matt!"


	5. A Day Worth Waiting For

Maggie came running when she heard Kitty scream. As she entered the bedroom Kitty was sitting up in bed with eyes wide. She was trying to compose herself as Maggie held her arm, "Miss Kitty, you must have had a very bad dream."

"What?"

"You were screaming I heard you downstairs."

Kitty continued to gather her thoughts. "Sorry to have frightened you Maggie I don't know what caused me to yell out."

Both women heard the doorbell. "That's probably Doctor John. Will you be all right? I need to finish preparing dinner."

"Maggie, I'll be fine. Apologize to John for me, tell him I was just taking a nap. I'll be down as soon as I can freshen up."

Maggie left the room as Kitty tried to pull herself together. She sat in front of the mirror attempting to get that ridiculous dream out of her mind. She quickly dressed for dinner and made her way downstairs. John was sitting sipping on some bourbon. He raised the glass as she entered the room, "I hope you don't mind, I thought I'd help myself to a drink while I waited." John smiled and made his way towards Kitty. He kissed her cheek and held her hands "You look amazing tonight. Is that a new dress?"

"Yes, my other dresses no longer fit. Oh, John I'm getting to be such a size!"

John looked at her fondly, "still beautiful Kitty girl!"

Kitty smiled, "Thank you for saying that John, should we go in to eat?"

He extended his arm and she clutched it tight. He helped her to her seat and took his place to her right. They ate in silence which worried John. "Is there something wrong?"

Kitty looked up into his always understanding eyes. "It's Matt. I thought he would have been here by now." She looked down at her ever expanding waist. "I mean, doesn't he remember I'm going to have our child?"

John patted her hand. "Now, now Kitty he'll be here. I know he will, you'll see."

Her anger was immediately replaced by worry, "Maybe he's hurt. John, could that be it? Do you think he's hurt? I knew I should have left someone a forwarding address just in case. No one knows where I am he could be dead and I'll never know."

John just smiled as he grabbed her hand, "You and Matt have a very deep connection that neither time nor distance will ever destroy. I truly believe that if Matt were hurt or dead, as you say, you would sense it. Now stop worrying."

She placed her hand on top of his, "I keep trying to tell myself that but John it's hard to believe it sometimes."

She sat back in the chair, rubbed her hands over her stomach, and sighed. "I'm not as young as I use to be and now I'm almost as big as a house." She closed her eyes to keep the tears from falling. "What if some young woman came into Dodge and, well, he found comfort in her arms."

John raised his hand over his mouth as he tried not to laugh, "My dear, there is no doubt in my mind that Matt Dillon loves you. You forget that I spent many months with the both of you and there was never a time that I didn't see the love and the joy in his eyes whenever you came into the room. His eyes were always on you and you alone. I do not care how many young women there are in Dodge Matt is not interested."

Kitty started to cry. John stood up and took Kitty by the hands as helped her from the chair. He put his arm around her, "Now, now, it's going to be fine. There is no reason to cry. Come on now Kitty." John started to wipe away her tears as he cupped her face in his hands. "Look at me Kitty, now look at me please. Matt loves you and he will be here just as soon as he can."

"You better listen to the man. Not only is he a great doctor he is also a very wise man."

Kitty immediately stopped crying and looked at the tall man standing in the entrance of the dining room. "I hope there's some dinner left, it's been a very long trip."

She ran to him as he held her close, "Matt, oh Matt. Why didn't you try to contact me?"

"I thought we were keeping you a secret remember?" Matt ran his hand down her face and brought his lips to hers. The gentle touch turned into a passionate reunion. "I love you so Kitty."

"Oh, Matt I love you."

John smiled as he made his way toward the door. "I guess I'm no longer needed here. If you will excuse me I think I'll be on my way."

Matt turned to John and extended his hand. "I don't know how to thank you for all you've done for Kitty."

"It's been and always will be my pleasure." He shook Matt's hand and let himself out.

"Now, can I have something to eat? It sure smells good."

As Matt ate he filled her in on the happenings in Dodge. He told her about Doc and how annoyed he still was with him that he didn't try to get Kitty to stay. Then about Festus who still believed that it was he who was responsible for Kitty leaving. Newly was still his level headed best, well, until it came to the ladies. Matt thought it would a long time before Newly found another Patricia. He chuckled when he told her about the new Marshal and how cold he thought Matt was in just letting Kitty go after all those years. Matt knew he was a smart one and had some pretty high aspirations but it didn't matter because one day he was walking away for good. She was enjoying all the tales but mostly his presence. Matt was finishing off his meal when she let out with a yawn so he immediately stood and helped her out of her chair. "Kitty, I've never seen you look more beautiful."

"Oh, Matt, look at the size I am."

He walked around eyeing her up and down and shaking his head. "Do you think we'll be able to sleep in the same bed?"

She swatted his rear, "Oh, you." Matt laughed as his kissed her again. "Let's go to bed. I can hardly wait to see how your body has changed."

"I can hardly wait to show you, cowboy." He grabbed her around the waist and they made their way up the stairs.

A cool breeze filtered into the bedroom from the slightly opened French doors. Matt opened his eyes as the sun was making its way over the horizon. He swung his legs onto the floor careful not to wake Kitty. He grabbed his pants and after securing the last button walked over to the doors and made his way onto the upstairs porch. He sat down in the rocker and took a deep breath. There was some fragrance in the air that he couldn't identify but it certainly was very different from Dodge. He smiled thinking how changed his life had become in just a few short months but he was looking forward to being a father. He hadn't seen much of the house but what he did see overwhelmed him but Kitty seemed to be happy and he knew he could get used to living in a house like this easily enough. He got up and watched the street below slowly come to life for awhile. He couldn't remember ever being happier in his life. He stretched and then turned to re-enter the bedroom. He removed his pants and gently got back into bed. He softly turned back the blankets so half her body was exposed. As he watched the rise and fall of her breathing, he ran his fingers back and forth over her belly; then he felt it. He placed his hand on the spot and felt it again. He leaned over and kissed the spot and continued to run his hand across her skin. The sensation woke Kitty but she silently watched Matt repeat his ritual. She smiled watching his boy like amazement at her protruding middle. Finally she joined his hand on its journey. "What do you think cowboy, boy or girl?"

Matt was so focused that her voice startled him, "oh, it doesn't matter to me. I just want you and the baby to be OK but I think you're pretty settled on a boy." He took his place next to her and gave her a kiss. He rested his head on his hand and ran his fingers down her face. "Kitty I want us to get married while I'm here." She looked disappointed, "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, Matt, it's just that I had hoped to get married in front of all our friends."

"I know but I don't want you having this baby as Miss Russell. You are going to be Mrs. Dillon, just like we planned. I have been giving this a little quiet thought. " He smiled at her.

Kitty scrunched up her face, "I may be pregnant but that doesn't mean I don't remember what I've told you in the past."

He laughed, "as I was saying, I thought we could marry here with John and Maggie as our witnesses and then at some point we could gather our friends together and marry again in a little church."

She ran her fingers down his face. "Cowboy, I do love you so much."

"I love you too." He gently kissed her lips. He started to move out of the bed and Kitty frowned. "Where are you going?"

He turned back toward her and held her chin with his fingers, "I'm going to put everything in place so you can be Mrs. Matthew Dillon as soon as possible."

"Matt, that sounds nice and all but I think you are forgetting something."

"What's that?"

"Me."

She ran her hands down his chest and he smiled. "Kitty, I think we should check with John first just to make sure. I don't want to do anything that could bring harm to you or the baby."

"Matt I'm fine."

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to check first."

"I didn't think you had a problem with it last night."

"Yeah, and I've been feeling a little guilty about that since."

"Matt, you might be doing more damage if you don't fulfill a pregnant woman's need."

He saw the look in her eyes. "You know I could never resist you, pregnant or otherwise."

"That's what I was counting on cowboy."

They both laughed as Matt leaned over and kissed her lips.

Matt sat in a chair in John's office but his mind was far away with thoughts of Kitty and their morning together. He was so deep in thought that he didn't hear the nurse call his name. She approached him and looked down to see a silly grin spread across his face. She touched his arm. "Mr. Dillon?"

"What? Oh, I'm sorry I must have been somewhere else."

"Obviously! The doctor can see you now."

"Thanks." Matt made his way down the hall until he came to John's office door.

"Well, well, Matt come in now, please come in. Have a seat."

They shook hands. "Thanks, John."

"How's Kitty?"

"She's fine and I again want to thank you for all you've done."

"You're very welcome but I guess I don't have to tell you that Kitty is a delight to be around."

Matt laughed, "well, some days."

John returned the smile as he sat on the end of his desk, "I'm sure there are days she can be a handful but I'm equally as sure you wouldn't want it any other way. Now, what brings you by the office today?"

"I want Kitty and I to be married before I leave and I was hoping you'd be my best man at the ceremony."

"I would be truly honored Matt. When is it?"

"I haven't made the arrangements yet but I thought it would be just the four of us. Kitty is going to talk with Maggie today."

"You'll let me know then?"

"I will. The second thing is I will probably have to go back before the baby is born but I stopped in to see a good friend of mine before I came here." Matt handed him a piece of paper. "John, when you believe Kitty is close to her time if you could telegraph Quint Asper in Topeka with the message of the package will be delivered soon or something like that then he will send a message to Dodge asking if I want to go hunting and fishing. This way it will look like two friends are getting away for awhile."

"Sounds like you've given this a lot of thought."

"I have to do whatever I can to keep her safe." Matt looked down at the floor and ran his hat through his fingers in a continuous loop. "Well, there is one other thing. I'm really not sure how to talk about this."

"Matt whatever we discuss in this office will be held in the strictest confidence, I think you know that. Besides I believe we are friends, are we not?

"Yes, John, we are but I have never discussed this subject with anyone and I don't know how to start."

"Why don't we start from the beginning, huh?"

"It's Kitty. I'm worried that, well, when we, um, you know, um," Matt looked up at John hoping that he wouldn't have to be the one to really say the words. He could see that John was waiting for him to finish his thought and he took a deep breath before he continued. "Last night when we made love I was so afraid that something was going to happen and it's been on my mind ever since. It doesn't seem to bother Kitty she just seems, well, a little more active than usual."

John raised his hand. "Matt if Kitty is comfortable with it and it doesn't pain her I don't see a problem with it. It's a strange thing sometimes when women are pregnant it makes them more sensual. I know that may be hard to believe given their condition but that is just the way it is." John stood up and patted Matt on his shoulder. "You have a wonderful problem my friend, I wouldn't worry about it."

Matt stood to shake John's hand. "Thanks, and I'll let you know when the ceremony is."

"Fine, I'll talk to you later then."

Matt was a very happy man when he walked through the door. All his planning was coming together and by the weekend Kitty would be his wife. He found her sitting in the little alcove reading. She smiled when he entered the room. "You look extremely happy with yourself."

He removed the book from her hands and helped her out of the chair. He walked behind her and put his hands on her stomach as he gently kissed her neck. "I am extremely happy because in four days you are going to be Mrs. Matthew Dillon."

"Four days? Matt how can I find a dress in that time?"

"Kitty you don't have to wear anything at all as far as I'm concerned."

"Oh, I'll certainly be a big hit!"

Matt laughed, "Don't worry about a thing I've arranged for Mrs. Boudreau down the street to come over," he looked up at the clock, " in about three hours and she is going to make you the most beautiful wedding dress," Matt kissed her neck again, "but I still say you're beautiful without clothes."

"Matt, Maggie will need a dress also."

"Don't worry Mrs. Boudreau knows that."

"Can she really have them ready in time?"

"According to her she can now I don't want you to think about anything else between now and then," he moved her towards the stairs, "you are going up to rest."

"Only if you join me."

"OK I will but we're going to rest, understand?"

Kitty looked up at him with a wily smile, "Whatever you say cowboy." They both laughed as they made their way up to their room.

Matt was running his hand over her stomach and every now and then feeling the movement of their child. Kitty had fallen asleep after she had gotten her way once again but at least she was resting now. Matt hated to wake her but Alice Boudreau would be here in an hour. He knew she liked to wake up slowly so he started to gently stroke her hair, kiss her neck and rub her stomach. "Kitty, honey, you're going to have to get up. Mrs. Boudreau will be here soon."

She stirred a little and looked into his beautiful blue eyes. She ran her fingers through his hair. "I love you Matt."

He gently kissed her lips, "I love you too. Now, what would you like to wear for Mrs. Boudreau?"

"It doesn't matter Matt as long as you'll help me dress."

"Not my specialty but I'll give it a try." He gave her a huge smile.

"I know you're much better at undressing me."

"Oh, I think by now I'm in the expert category. OK, now come on sleepy head let's get you out of bed."

Before they knew it the doorbell rang and Mrs. Boudreau was at the front door. "Mrs. Boudreau I would like you to meet Kitty Russell."

Alice Boudreau raised an eyebrow when she saw Kitty was pregnant. "Oh, I did not realize that she was with child."

"Does that really matter?"

"No, I suppose not but it will definitely have to be in a beige or color tone."

Kitty walked towards the woman with outstretched hand. "Mrs. Boudreau I wouldn't have it any other way. Now, what did you have in mind?"

"Well, I see you ladies will be busy and I have a few chores to run so I'll be back later." He kissed Kitty goodbye and made his way to the door.

"He seems to be very excited about this wedding." She pointed towards Kitty's waist. "I guess he is the father?"

"That he is."

"You've waited a long time for this, no?"

"A very long time."

"He loves you very much this I can see."

"And I love him."

"Come let us sit down and get started. You will make the most beautiful bride, I promise you."

It was the day before the wedding and Matt was watching Maggie make the final adjustments to the backyard decor. "Everyone in Dodge should see you now." Kitty was making her way toward him. He pulled her in to him and leaned down and gave her a kiss on the top of her head. "I didn't think these things interested you. You know, there were many barn dances I could have used your help." She put her hand on his chest.

"Very funny. Is everything set for dinner tomorrow?"

"Yes, I've made dinner reservations at the Bourbon House. Matt, I can't believe this is finally happening."

He brushed his hand across her hair. "Happy?"

"I don't think I could be any happier. Well, maybe when junior here arrives." She patted her belly. "Matt, I think I'm going to go upstairs and rest for awhile. Care to hold me while I fall asleep?"

"I would but I think I'm needed here to supervise. You know, just in case my expertise is needed." Matt tried so hard not to laugh as he saw the look of total disbelief on Kitty's face. "Come on little mama let's get you up to bed."

No sooner did Kitty's head hit the pillow then she was sound asleep. Matt was a little concerned since usually she needed him physically before she was able to drift off. Although he had made most of the wedding plans he was worried that the excitement might be causing her to run down. He smiled as he looked at his sleeping beauty. Tomorrow she would be his wife. The more he thought about all the years he had denied her that title the angrier he became with himself. All the wasted years, the lonely nights, the arguments, the separations, their near deaths, and most painful of all his betrayal in the desert could never make him put the badge away and take her as his wife. He could not recall a day when he was happier then he was now and he cursed the stubbornness that kept them a single entity. One thing he knew for sure he would have been buried a long time ago if he didn't have her to live for. The folks in Dodge marveled at his strength in recovering against insurmountable odds but the truth was it was the beautiful redheaded saloon keeper that kept his heart pumping. Before the pain and darkness would take him and as his body hit the dirt his last thought was to live, live for her. There has never been any doubt in his mind where he gets his strength, his heart, and his soul. Kitty opened her eyes to see Matt deep in thought. "Matt, is something wrong?"

He smiled, "there will never be anything wrong again Kitty."

She held his hand, "As I drift off to sleep, I sometimes wonder what kind of mother I am going to be?"

Matt rubbed her stomach, "Kitty I have no doubt you will be a wonderful mother."

"How do you know?"

"Mary and the triplets."

"What about them?"

"I never told you this before but when I watched you with those babies I couldn't believe how good you were with them. I know you probably won't believe this but seeing you caring for those children made me start thinking about us and a family."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Most probably the time was never right." He shook his head, "I was just thinking about all the times I should have given up the badge." He gently kissed her. "Kitty I'm so sorry you had to go through all my uncertainty and indecision."

"Matt, to be where I am now it was worth everything we went through." Kitty moved closer to him. "Seems to me cowboy I didn't get my usual rubdown before I went to sleep."

"Hmm, any particular place, my lady?"

"I think I'll leave that up to you."

He started to massage her shoulders and he could feel Kitty totally relax in his hands. He lifted her nightgown and ran his hands up and down her soft skin. "Enjoying your rubdown?

"Hmm, but I do wish you would work a little lower."

He turned her on her side and gently moved his lips down her back as his hand continued to massage the front of her body. "You do realize that this is the last time we will be enjoying this activity before we are husband and wife?"

"You don't intend to give me a rubdown before I fall asleep tonight?"

"No, Kitty I intend to be sleeping at John's tonight."

Kitty turned towards him, "What?"

"I know this is going to sound pretty old fashion but I just thought sleeping alone the night before our wedding might be nice." He smiled giving her his most tempting grin, "Who knows, might even enhance the wedding night." Matt raised his eyebrows.

"Well, aren't you the romantic." Kitty thought a minute. "So this will be our last time together as Matt Dillon and Kitty Russell, huh? Well cowboy, I expect this to be a pretty memorable moment."

"No, our wedding night is going to be that but I'll try to make this your next most memorable moment." She had no doubt he would.

It was a beautiful Spring day as Matt poured himself another cup of coffee. John entered the kitchen watching Matt alone with his thoughts. "I've never seen a man so at ease before he was just about to say his wedding vows."

"Could be that words can't make me feel any more married to Kitty than I have felt over the past twenty years."

"I would have to agree with you there Matt." John poured a cup of coffee and sat down at the table across from Matt. "But you know saying those words can be stifling to some men."

"You talk as if from personal experience."

"Oh, no," John shook his head, "I've never had the honor Matt. I've always been too busy with schooling and then my practice." He took a sip of the coffee, "Not that I haven't thought about it from time to time mind you. John got up to get his pipe. "There was this one woman, Jane Richmond." He motioned towards Matt, "do you mind?"

"No John, go right ahead. Now, about this Jane Richmond?"

John sat back down and took a draw on his pipe. "She was a beautiful woman, smart, funny, very independent, very much like Kitty. We met in medical school in Maryland and I guess you could say we just thoroughly enjoyed being with each other right off, real good friends. I swear you never saw one of us without the other. When we graduated her family threw the most elaborate party I had ever seen, up until then I never knew her family had so much wealth. Anyway, from the first moment we arrived I could sense they didn't approve of me. I had the feeling they had someone else in mind for their daughter. Well, the whole time they made me feel as if I was an outsider and Jane," John's face softened when he said her name, "she tried so hard to include me but her family kept pushing her in all directions so eventually I just left. A couple of days later we got together and she apologized for her family's behavior and thankfully she didn't want to stop seeing me. It goes without saying that we were very busy as new doctors but we managed to be together whenever we could. For appearance sake, we got separate apartments but there were very few nights we didn't fall asleep in each other's arms." John took a tug on his pipe, "I loved her Matt more than I had ever loved a woman before or after and we were very happy."

"So what happened?"

"We were together, oh about three years, and one night I took her out to this very expensive restaurant, truthfully one that I could not afford, and proposed. She was so surprised. She thought that I had found out that she was pregnant and I had decided that this was the honorable thing to do. I was stunned and I told her I had no idea she was carrying our child. I told her that I loved her very much and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. She started to cry because she felt she ruined our lives but I didn't care I was more than ready to be a husband and a father. We held each other that night and talked between her sobbing. She felt much better in the morning and we were looking forward to our life together." The smoke from his pipe was getting thicker around him, "Looking back I realize the mistake we made was going to talk to her parents. We should have gotten married and told them about it later but I felt it was the honorable thing to do to ask for her hand. When I did, both parents swore they weren't going to allow it."

"Could they do that?"

John looked over at Matt with a slight grin, "Jane tried to reason with them but they had their jaws set and nothing was going to make them budge. Jane was so upset that in the heat of the moment she blurted out that she was with child. You could have heard a pin drop in that room. They ordered me, that's right Matt, ordered me to leave the house. I went back to my apartment and hoped that she would come home. I was more than ready to marry her and take that girl far, far, away so we could live our life with our child. I didn't sleep very well that night. Every little sound I heard I thought it might be her but she never came. In fact, it was a good week before she came back. I rushed to her side and told her how much I loved her and wanted to marry her. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and told me that there was no need anymore. Seems some doctor friend of the family took care of the problem and she was coming back to get her things and move back home. It was over. She walked out the door and I never saw her again." John took another draw on his pipe. "I almost gave up medicine after that. They were some dreadful months, some dreadful months." He took another sip of his coffee, "but somehow I got through them. I guess coming down here also helped. " He smiled a half smile, "No, Matt, those words wouldn't have been stifling to me."

Matt sat silent not knowing what to say.

John stood up, "Now, Matt as your best man I have the responsibility to make sure you get to your wedding on time and I intend to live up to that responsibility. OK then let's go have some breakfast."

Maggie was helping Kitty get dressed. "Miss Kitty you look beautiful."

"Thank you Maggie, although when I pictured my wedding day I didn't think I would be this round." She turned sideways as she looked in the mirror.

"It doesn't matter you still look beautiful."

"And so do you Maggie. Mrs. Boudreau really did a wonderful job on such short notice."

"I appreciate you and the Marshal paying for this. This dress is so beautiful and I will cherish it always."

Kitty smiled, "I want to thank you for agreeing to be part of the ceremony. Maggie, I'm so glad you're here." Kitty gave her a big hug.

"Thank you Miss Kitty. I can't believe how lucky I was that you were in the doctor's office that day."

"Oh, I'm the lucky one Maggie." Kitty looked up at the clock. "Has Matt and John arrived yet? Oh, and what about the Mayor?"

"No one yet but they will be here soon."

The doorbell rang, "Must be the Mayor. I'll go let him in. Are you going to be all right?"

"I'm going to be fine. Just let me know when I'm to make my grand entrance." They both smiled as Maggie left the room.

It was an extremely bright day when Kitty stepped out into the backyard. There was just enough of a cool breeze to keep them comfortable and the fragrance in the air made for the perfect setting. Her gown was pastel beige with a brocade top and a rounded neckline with long sleeves which was met at the waist by a slightly deeper beige flowing gown made of satin. She wore a small beige hat with a veil that crowned the back of her hair. As she approached she saw the Mayor standing under a small tent with Matt and John. Matt looked so handsome in his tails and although she thought he might be nervous he certainly didn't show it. His eyes smiled down at her as he took her hand and whispered, "You look so beautiful." He wrapped her hand around his arm and held on to it tightly. They both stepped closer to the Mayor as the ceremony began.

"I am very happy to be here presiding over the marriage ceremony of Matthew Dillon and Kathleen Russell. I rarely have the opportunity to marry two people that have such a long and rich history. I have before me two people who gave themselves to each other some twenty years ago. They understand that commitment is not easy and I'm sure the road has often been a rocky one but they never allowed those times to weaken the love they held in their hearts for the past two decades. I wish I had some wise words to say today but anything I could say would seem inadequate compared to the love they already know and have experienced and the sacrifices they have made to remain faithful to each other. With that said let us proceed."

"We are gathered here today to join Matthew Dillon and Kathleen Russell in marriage. They will be pronouncing, to all here present, that this bond will never be broken and they will love and cherish each other for the rest of their time here on earth." Matt was still holding Kitty tight as he looked down to see tears welling in her eyes. "Now if you will face each other. Matthew repeat after me, I Matthew Dillon, _I Matthew Dillon,_ take you Kathleen Russell, to be my wife, _take you Kathleen Russell_, _to be my wife,_ to have and to hold from this day forward, _to have and to hold from this day forward_, for better or for worse, _for better or for worse_, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, _for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health_, to love and to cherish, _to love and to cherish_, and I promise to be faithful to you until death do us part, _and I promise to be faithful to you until death do us part_."

The tears were flowing down Kitty's face and Matt gently wiped them away. Now Kathleen repeat after me, I Kathleen Russell," she continued with unabated emotion in her voice, "_I Kathleen Russell,_ take you Matthew Dillon, to be my husband, _take you Matthew Dillon_, _to be my husband,_ to have and to hold from this day forward, _to have and to hold from this day forward_, for better or for worse, _for better or for worse_, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, _for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health_, to love and to cherish, _to love and to cherish_, and I promise to be faithful to you until death do us part, _and I promise to be faithful to you until death do us part_."

The Mayor looked over at John. "Do you have the rings?" John brought them over to the Mayor then he gave Kitty's ring to Matt. Matt took Kitty's left hand in his, _"_Matthew, repeat after me. With this ring I thee wed. Wear it as a symbol of our love and commitment,_ with this ring I thee wed. Wear it as a symbol of our love and commitment."_

He gave Kitty Matt's ring. She took it with trembling hands as she took Matt's left hand in hers. _"_Kathleen, repeat after me. With this ring I thee wed. Wear it as a symbol of our love and commitment,_ with this ring I thee wed. Wear it as a symbol of our love and commitment."_

"The vows you've exchanged today are a public affirmation of the commitment you've secretly expressed to each other many times over the years. May you have a long and healthy life to continue to affirm your love and commitment and may your children be a constant reminder of that love. May the joyous experiences be many and the hardships be few and may you never forget what brought you here today. There is really only one thing left to say, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Matt took Kitty's head in his hands. He smiled as he gently kissed the tears still streaming down her cheeks. He softly kissed her lips, "I love you Mrs. Dillon," as he placed his arms around her shaking frame. Maggie, John and the Mayor clapped as Matt tried to get Kitty under control. "Can you give us a minute?" Matt brought her up to their room. "Kitty, are you all right?"

"Oh Matt nothing can ever be wrong again." She smiled and then started to laugh. "I'm fine now Matt. I didn't think I would have gotten that emotional."

"Thanks fine Kitty. You are getting emotional for two now, you know." He ran his fingers over the satin covering her stomach.

"Matt do we have to go downstairs right now?"

"I suppose not, do you want to rest awhile?"

"Rest was not exactly what I had in mind," he could see the look in her eyes.

"Honey, there will be plenty of time for that tonight. Right now I think we need to celebrate with our guests."

"Always the voice of reason," she ran her hand down his face.

"It might sound like the voice of reason to you but if I don't get you out of here right now I won't be able to think much less reason! Come on now before I ruined our good clothes." Kitty laughed as Matt put his arm around her waist and led her downstairs.

After dinner, John dropped them off at the Chateau Hotel in the French Quarter. He had made the arrangements as a surprise since he felt their wedding night should be something special and not spent at the house. It was a beautiful room with a balcony overlooking the Mississippi River. Matt sat sipping the bourbon that John had left in the room and waited for Kitty to change. When she entered the room he put the drink down and walked towards her. He took her hands and kissed them and stared. He couldn't remember an evening when she had been more beautiful than she was at this moment. She wore a beige silk nightgown and with her long flowing red tresses and sparkling blue eyes she took his breath away. "Matt, is everything all right?"

"That is a beautiful nightgown. Too bad you won't be wearing it much tonight." His lips moved down her throat.

She sighed as his lips moved closer to her breast. "Please don't tell Mrs. Boudreau. She made this specifically for this occasion."

He hooked his finger under the thin strap of her gown and pulled it down her arm then he did the same to the other strap. The gown fell to the floor, "I won't tell if you won't."

He kissed her and slowly lowered her to the bed. He lay next to her and showered her body with soft caressing kisses as she responded to his every touch. The wedding night had now commenced.

They lay still caressing each other as their bodies came down from their emotional high. "How did it feel to make love to your husband?"

"Hmm…I think my husband outdid himself this evening." She brushed the hair from his forehead.

"You know there is more to come."

"I was hoping you'd say that cowboy."

Kitty's laughter was smothered by Matt's passionate kiss.

Over the next month there were no two people happier in the world then the Dillon's. Kitty showed Matt around New Orleans and for the first time in his life he was starting to enjoy city living. Kitty no longer held her breath waiting for the dreaded word "Marshal" which would inevitably ruin their plans. No one knew him down here and they were as anonymous as if they didn't exist. They took long walks, rocked on their bedroom porch in the evening, slept late and most importantly spent every night together. One day she took Matt passed the building on Royal Street where she was thinking of opening a restaurant. He wasn't too keen on the idea but he knew once she had her mind set on something it was futile to stand in her way. He made her promise to give herself time after the baby was born before she took on this new project. As the time came closer to when Matt had to leave she became a little more sullen. The night before, Matt was as unsettled as Kitty. He wanted so much to stay but he knew that he just couldn't disappear. They were bound to find him and he certainly did not want to be found here. Kitty stirred in his arms.

"Matt, what's the matter? Can't you sleep?"

"I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

"How I don't want to go but if I don't they'll come looking for me and we have to keep you secret for a little while longer."

"I know, why don't you turn on your side and I'll rub your shoulders."

"Why Mrs. Dillon you wouldn't be trying to have your way with me, would you?"

She leaned down and whispered in his ear, "If you're lucky." She continued to massage his shoulders with her right hand. "Matt, I know you have everything planned so I'm not worried. You'll be here when little Matthew makes his appearance. Just don't take any chances for the next couple of months, please? You know it's cattle season."

He turned on his back and held her face. "Kitty, I promise you I will be here." He turned back on his side. "Now, continue, and maybe this time work a little lower."

She kissed his neck as her hand wandered down his large frame.

She watched the train leave the station then John helped her into his coach and took her back home. She held his wedding ring in her hand. He would have a hard time explaining that when he got back to Dodge. She wasn't as quiet as John thought she would be and he did his part to keep the conversation lively. He wanted her to rest more now that she was entering her seventh month so when they arrived home he put her straight to bed. When he was leaving he saw Maggie in the kitchen, "Maggie could you please make sure Kitty gets a nap every day? I can see her wearing down now and I don't want anything to happen to this child."

"Sure Doctor John. I don't want anything to happen to her either. She is such a wonderful woman."

John got back in his coach as he looked back at the house. He silently prayed that nothing happened to Matt while he was in Dodge.

Matt got off the train stiff, tired, and unhappy. Dodge had no hold on him anymore and the idea that he would have to spend close to eight months here until his retirement made him feel miserable. He walked down to the Marshal's office and the town was in full swing. As he opened the door Alex was sitting at his desk and looked very pleased to see him. "Well, well now, I didn't think you were going to come back."

"What makes you say that?"

"Oh, I don't know. Just get the impression you have other interests at this point in your life."

Alex was starting to annoy him. He got the feeling that there was always a secondary meaning behind his words. He put the thought that he knew about Kitty out of his mind. He needed to remain poker faced. "Well, you're right about that. It was great getting away from civilization for awhile. I might just do it again in the near future."

"Any time, you know that Matt. Where did you go?"

"Colorado."

"About where?"

"Up near Fort Collins."

"Say you got a friend there?"

This line of questioning was starting to irritate Matt. "Is there some reason for this interrogation?"

"Just trying to make conversation, is all Matt."

Festus came through the door, "Matthew, you is a sight for sore eyeballs," as he continued to shake his hand.

"Thank you Festus."

"I'd be might pleased ifn' you come wit' me to the Long Branch and I'z buy you a beer."

"Maybe some other time Festus. I'm pretty tired and I thought I'd head over to the Dodge House and get some rest."

"Sure thing Matthew. I'll see ya later then."

Howie handed him the key and Matt made his way to the room. He took off his boots and fell back on the bed. He never thought he could ever miss anyone as much as he missed Kitty. He closed his eyes and remembered their wedding day and the past month they spent together and before long he drifted into a deep, long sleep.

Two months had passed and Matt's frustration with Dodge was growing more and more each day. He had taken a room at the Dodge House permanently because he didn't want to be under foot at the Marshal's office. The more people became reliant on Alex the quicker he could leave Dodge for good. The days went by so slowly since he was now more a citizen of Dodge then he was a civil servant. He had the occasional meal with one of his friends and drinks at the end of the day but walking into the Long Branch and not feeling Kitty's presence made him melancholy. The town was alive with drovers and the share of trouble they bring but it no longer held any allure to Matt he just wanted out. He knew Kitty had to be close to delivery and that fact made him extremely anxious. He was falling off to sleep one night when he heard gunshots followed by a lot of yelling. He grabbed his pants and boots and strapped on his pistol and ran down the stairs. Most of the commotion was in the alley near the bank. The first person he saw was Newly. "Marshal, three men robbed the bank. Alex was able to shoot one of them but he is pretty badly wounded." Matt made his way closer to where Alex was hit. "Alex, how bad are you hit?"

He grimaced in pain, "I don't think too bad, got me in the shoulder pretty bad though." Just then Doc made his way through the crowd. "Let me in here. Alex, let me take a look at you now." Doc tore at his shirt but the alley was too dark. "I can't see in this alley, Matt, get some men and bring him up to my office." He followed behind so thankful that it wasn't him they were carrying. He watched Doc as he removed the bullet then followed Doc as he went over to wash up, "How is he Doc?"

"Matt, I won't know that till morning. Now, he was hit pretty bad in the shoulder but I think he'll recover but he is going to need time to heal."

"How long, do you know Doc?"

"Matt, I wish I knew. I hope this doesn't interfere with your retirement plans."

"I hope not either Doc."

Matt started to leave the room. "Matt, where are you going?"

"I've gotta go after the other two men."

"Take someone with you."

"Festus is getting the horses now."

"Matt, be careful because," Doc looked away.

"Because why?"

Doc tugged on his ear, "Because Kitty is no longer here and I know she was the reason you fought so hard to live."

Matt just nodded as he opened the door thinking _if he only knew_!

It was the next morning when Doc made his way down the stairs from his office. He went over to the jailhouse to see if Matt and Festus had made it back. Then he checked the stable but Buck and Ruth were still missing. He sighed as he realized that he was going to have to have breakfast by himself this morning. As he made his way over to Delmonico's Barney was coming out of the jailhouse. Barney saw Doc and made his way over to him. "Mornin' Doc, say do you know where the Marshal is?"

"Which Marshal, Barney?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot we got two now. I'm lookin' for Marshal Dillon."

"Well, he's out after the two guys that robbed the bank last night."

Barney looked down at the piece of paper in his hand. "Just that I've got a telegram for him coming from Topeka, Doc."

"Tell you what Barney, why don't you give that to me. I'm sure when he comes back he'll come to my office to check up on the other Marshal and I can give it to him then."

"Much obliged Doc, takes a load off my mind."

Doc looked at the telegram before he stuffed it in his pocket. He rubbed his hand across his mouth, "Topeka huh?" He shrugged his shoulders as he continued on to Delmonico's.


	6. Our Little Miracle

Maggie made her way down the stairs to the kitchen. John was pouring a cup of coffee as she walked into the room. "Care for a cup?"

"No thank you Dr. John."

"How's Kitty?"

"She's gone back to sleep but I'm worried about her."

John walked across the room and laid his hand on Maggie's shoulder, "me too." He sat down at the table and took a sip of the black liquid. Maggie sat across from him. "Do you think the Marshal got your message?"

"I hope so Maggie because Kitty is going to need him. I'm starting to feel that this is not going to be an easy birth."

"Miss Kitty wants this baby so." She looked down as she watched her fingers run across the glass table top. "Dr. John she can't lose it now."

John reached over and patted the top of Maggie's hand. "Now, now, Maggie we're not going to let that happen, right?"

She smiled, "Right."

John was deep in thought as he continued to drink his coffee, "I think it best if I move into the bedroom next to Kitty. I really don't want to be too far away."

"Oh, Doctor John I think that is a wonderful idea. I know it will bring a lot of comfort to Miss Kitty knowing that you will be near."

"I believe it would bring her more comfort if Matt were here."

The sun was only slightly above the horizon when Matt and Festus rode into town. They had been away for three days now and the stress was obvious on both men's faces. The strain of being in the saddle for a few days had taken a toll on Matt's body so much so that it was an effort to dismount, "Festus, could you take care of Buck for me?"

"Sure thing Matthew."

Matt walked wearily toward the bank with the recovered money. As he walked through the door Mr. Botkin quickly approached him. "Marshal, is that the money?"

He threw it on the desk, "I believe it's all there."

"Do you have the men that did it?"

"No, they're dead."

"I'm forever grateful Marshal and so are the citizens of Dodge." Mr. Botkin clutched the saddle bag. "The town's not going to be the same when you retire."

Matt was too tired to even acknowledge the compliment. He needed to get the prairie dust off him and about two days worth of sleep. His first stop was the office but as he thumbed through the mail and there was no word about Kitty it only made him feel worse. He left the jailhouse thinking about going to Doc's to check on Alex but his first priority was to relax in a nice hot tub. He entered his room threw his hat on the dresser and laid his holster next to it. He removed his boots and lay back on the bed. He was drifting off to sleep when he heard a knock at the door. "Got some hot water here for you Marshal."

"Thanks, just leave it over there," he motioned toward the bathtub as he opened the door.

He flipped Jamie a coin, "Thanks a lot Marshal," Matt closed the door behind him. He poured the water in the tub and slowly removed his clothes. The hot liquid felt so good over his body although he missed the oversized one Kitty had specially ordered for him over at the Long Branch. He ran his water soaked hands over his face and hair as he leaned back against the cool iron. He wished he was holding Kitty now but that thought only increased his emptiness. He toweled himself dry and climbed under the sheets as his fatigued body quickly fell into a deep sleep.

Maggie was cooking in the kitchen and John was sitting in the next room reading a book smoking his pipe. "What should I make for Miss Kitty, Doctor?

"Let's see if she'll feel like having some broth."

"Do you think she'll have the baby before the Marshal gets here?"

"I'm praying not. That will make the delivery more complicated, I'm afraid."

The quiet of the house was broken by a shrill scream from the second floor. Both John and Maggie ran up the back stairs and hurried to Kitty's side. "Kitty what's wrong?"

"I feel like the baby is coming."

"OK, now Kitty just relax, that's it lie back," John stroked her hair.

Kitty screamed, "John, I need Matt, where's Matt?"

"Kitty I sent the telegram as we discussed so I'm sure he's on his way."

She grabbed his arm tightly, "John, I don't want to have this baby without him."

"Kitty, neither you nor I have any say over that. This baby is going to come when he or she is good and ready. Now, let me take a look at you."

John finished his exam and sat on the bed next to her. He took her hands in his, "Kitty, you've got a way to go yet so just relax. Maggie made you some broth and I want you to try and drink a little, OK?" He nodded to Maggie and she left for the kitchen.

"John, I feel like I have a fever and I'm so tired."

"That's to be expected. Now, all I want you to think about is your beautiful baby lying in your arms."

She grabbed at his arm as pain shot through her body. "Breathe Kitty, come on now, breathe, that's right, easy."

With the pain subsiding she closed her eyes and pictured Matt holding their baby. She smiled as she imagined how small the baby looked snuggled against his huge body. How she wished that he was sitting with her now.

Matt awoke to darkness. He stretched and sat up on the side of the bed. He laughed to himself as he looked down at his naked body. He never slept that way unless he was with Kitty. He got dressed and then he made his way over to Doc's office. Doc met him at the door, "I was wondering where you were."

"Something happened?"

"No but I saw your deputy a little while ago, who finagled another beer out of me…again…and he said the last he saw you, you were heading to the bank."

"I needed some rest Doc, that's all. How's Alex?"

"He's coming along. I say another two weeks and he should be as good as new." Doc pointed toward the back room, "I think I'm gonna' like this new kid."

"Why's that?"

"I told him to rest for two weeks and he hasn't made one attempt to leave that bed, not one peep out of him! Yes sir, now there's a kid who has a real respect for medicine but more importantly my opinion!"

"Can I go see him?"

"Well, Matt I just gave him something to sleep. Why don't you try back in the morning?"

"OK, well, then I'll see ya later Doc."

"Say Matt, feel like a drink?"

"Nah, Doc, I think I'm just going to go back to my room. See ya in the morning for breakfast?"

"Sure thing."

Matt walked over to the Dodge House and eventually Doc made his way over to the Long Branch. As Doc entered through the batwing doors he grabbed a spot at the end of the bar. "Hey, Floyd I'll take a beer."

"Comin' right up Doc."

Doc started searching through his pockets for change when he came across an envelope. Puzzled, he unfolded the paper and his eyes got wide. "Floyd, hold that beer, I'll be right back."

"Sure thing Doc," he could hear as he quickly shuffled out the door and made his way to the Dodge House.

Matt was restless, he didn't know much about babies but he was sure Kitty must be very close to giving birth. He paced around the room as he ran his fingers through his hair until he caught his reflection in the mirror. He laughed as he realized he was acting very much the part of the expectant dad. Maybe he would take Doc up on his offer and get that drink; it might just calm his ragged nerves. Doc was standing in the doorway when Matt opened the door. "Doc, I was just about to come over to the Long Branch and let you buy me that drink."

"Well, everyone else manages to get one out of me it might as well be you too!"

Matt laughed as he started to make his way to the saloon but Doc stopped him. "Matt, I'm really sorry I forgot about this." He handed him the telegram. "Barney was looking for you right after you left town and I told him I would give this to you when I saw you. You were gone for awhile and I guess it slipped my mind. He said it was from Topeka."

Matt could feel the color leave his face. He turned to go back into the room and he sat on the bed. He opened the telegram and no surprise it was from Quint.

"**Heard you're not the only law in Dodge STOP got a few days to myself STOP thought you might like to do some hunting and fishing STOP get here soon, Quint.**

With his head down Matt whispered, "When did you say this came?"

"Right after you left town." Doc walked closer to him. "Are you all right Matt?"

Matt looked up, "oh, yeah, Doc." He stared at the piece of paper then whispered, "Quint wants me to go hunting and fishing."

"Well, you can't go now Matt. Alex won't be able to resume his duties for two weeks, maybe a week if we're lucky."

"No, Doc I have to go."

"Matt be reasonable. I know you've submitted your papers and all but you can't leave this town unprotected. I'm sure you can go with Quint anytime."

"No, I can't Doc."

"What?"

"I've been trying to get together with Quint for awhile now. Being the Director of Indian Affairs for the State of Kansas keeps him very busy so when he gets a chance to get away I need to take it. Besides, Festus and Newly are here and I'm sure they can send someone from Hays to help out."

"Matt, it's cattle season you can't walk away now."

"And what about me Doc? Don't you think it's time for me to do what I want to do?" He walked over to the window and looked out at the Long Branch. "Kitty was right you know."

Doc moved closer to him, "What's that?"

Matt turned back toward Doc, "there were so many times we made plans and at the last minute this badge got in the way and ruined our time together." He turned back to look out the window again, "Doc, back then I foolishly thought everything in my life revolved around the job and that was just the way it was." Matt turned, thumbs in his waistband, and head down. "I've never said this to anyone before, not even Kitty, but when I had to leave her it tore my heart out a little each time." He ran his hand through his hair, "Doc, I'm surprise I have a heart left. I'm a shell of a man without her and I realize now that all the years I put this job ahead of her was a foolish thing to do." He grabbed the badge between his two fingers. "This piece of tin is not going to love me or comfort me or hold me when the horrors of this job torture my mind." He turned back to look out the window, "I have an opportunity to get away to see an old friend and this job is not going to interfere anymore. I've let it interfere enough."

Doc could feel tears welling in his eyes. There was only one other time he had seen Matt so emotional and that was right after Jude Bonner left Kitty fighting for her life. He cleared his throat, "Well then, say hello to Quint for me." He turned to leave the room, "Matt," he ran his hand over his moustache. "Maybe you should see what you can do about finding Kitty one day. She might be feeling the same way, you know."

Maggie ran the cool towel over Kitty's head. The pain was coming quicker now and she was starting to worry that something was wrong. John was his usually calm self giving her positive encouragement and gentle prodding. "Kitty honey you can do this now. The first one is always like this. I know it hurts but I need you to stay with me OK?" With sweat dripping down her body Kitty tried so hard to relax but it was getting more difficult by the minute. The pain in her back was now so severe and she felt as if someone was sitting on her chest. "Kitty honey come on now push, that's right, push. OK, rest a minute, that's right, easy, relax. Again now, stay with me, come on honey, push. I can see the baby keep pushing honey, come on just a little push." Kitty made her final push and with it came an agonizing scream. Her body limply sunk back into the sheets as the room became so perfectly still. She took a few deep breaths and then she heard it; the cry of her baby. She could feel the tears rolling down her face as John approached her with a huge grin as he sat on the bed next to her. "It's a boy, Kitty." She took the baby from John's arms and kissed his forehead. "Oh, John, he's beautiful."

"With a mother as beautiful as you is it any wonder?" He brushed the hair from her eyes.

Kitty smiled through her tears as John moved the baby closer to Kitty's breast. He could see she was a little embarrassed so John looked up at Maggie, "maybe we should give the new mother and baby some time to bond." When they closed the door Kitty opened her nightgown and put his lips against her nipple. The baby's lips latched on and he started to tug. _Just like your daddy_ she thought which brought a little smile to her lips. She leaned against the pillow as he continued the exploration of her breast. She watched him intently and she felt an overwhelming joy run through her, a joy she had never experienced or thought she ever would. The only thing missing now was Matt.

The house was dark when Matt came through the front door. He followed the sound of barely audible voices until he found John and Maggie sitting in the kitchen. They stood when he entered the room. "You have a fine baby boy Matt, congratulations," John extended his hand to shake Matt's. Maggie stood on tip toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. "He is so handsome Marshal, he has your dark complexion."

"Where's Kitty?"

"Why don't you have a seat over here Matt?"

"John I would rather not, I just want to know how Kitty is."

John and Maggie exchanged glances. "Matt, Kitty has an infection of some sort. She has been running a high fever. I've given her medication, cool cloths, almost everything I can think of. The good news is she hasn't gotten any worse but she just doesn't seem to be getting any better. Matt she really needs you."

Matt took a deep breath and headed for the stairs. He entered the dimly lit room and walked over to the bassinet. He looked down at his peaceful sleeping son. Not wanting to disturb him but needing to touch him, he ran his finger lightly down his face and whispered "I love you son." He walked over to the bed, took off his boots, and lay next to Kitty. Her skin was warm, her hair was matted, and she looked so worn. He held her hand as he gently kissed her forehead and softly called her name. She slowly opened her eyes and smiled, "'bout time you got here cowboy. See your son?"

He spoke with a voice filled of emotion, "He's beautiful, just like his mama."

"Oh Matt, I know I look a wreck. I just can't to seem to get any strength back."

"You just rest. I'm here now."

"Matt if anything should happen please, promise me, you'll take good care of him."

He pulled back her hair from her face, "nothing is going to happen to you Kitty, I won't let it."

She smiled, "you're here, I can rest now." She fell lifelessly in his arms. "Kitty," he kissed her lips, "Kitty!" He waited for a response but none came. "Honey, come on now, open your eyes for me." He stared for a second then he yelled, "John, John!"

John ran into the room and he could see the urgency in Matt's face. "She was just talking to me and then she passed out, I don't know, John please do something. I can't lose her now."

Matt got out of the bed and John continued his examination. Matt didn't like what he saw on the doctor's face. "What is it John?"

"She is so weak Matt, so weak. Right now I don't know what else to do." He could see the helplessness on John's face. "Just be with her Matt, that's all I can say," he turned and left the room.

Matt climbed back into bed and leaned his back against the headboard. He moved Kitty in front of him, wrapped his long legs around hers, and held her tight. As she lay in his arms he thought about how unfair this was. Kitty was finally the mother that Matt suspected she secretly always wanted to be and now she may not live. He pulled back her hair and tried his best to straighten the strands. He kissed her forehead, cheeks and lips. He needed her to respond, to caress him, to love him. He could feel how fragile she was as he ran his hand along her skin. Crushing guilt permeated his very being the more he thought about choosing that piece of tin over her. He needed her to take his breath, his strength, his will like he had taken from her so many times when he lay near death. Questions swirled in his brain. Did he tell her enough times how important she was to him? Did she know how his very existence depended on her? Was she aware of how thoughts of her helped conquer his loneliness when they were apart? He gently ran his fingers across her forehead and down the side of her face in a continual motion. He needed to say all the words he had been keeping inside. "Kitty, you can't leave me now. You have to know what you have meant to me honey. I want to spend the rest of my life telling you everyday how much I love you. I wouldn't exist if it weren't for you. I've lived for you and now I need you to live for me. Not too long ago you opened your eyes long enough for me to tell you how much I needed you. Well, I still need you Kitty and I will always need you and I want you to hear for the rest of your life how much I need you." He kissed her forehead, "then there's our son. He needs his mama Kitty I can't do this alone." He pulled her head against his chest and rocked her as he continued to hold her tight. The tears slowly fell down his face and she could feel the salty liquid slowly fall across her pallor skin. She spoke with a voice barely above a whisper, "I'm not going anywhere cowboy. Please don't cry."

He put his fingers under her chin and raised her head to look into her eyes. He slowly moved his lips over hers and her body responded to his touch. As much as Matt wanted to sustain their passionate reunion he slowly removed his lips. "Kitty, honey, there will be plenty of time for this. You have to fight now and get well."

"You spoil all my fun!"

He kissed the top of her head and laughed, "I believe Mrs. Dillon you're on the road to recovery."

A week was all it took to make all the difference in Kitty's appearance. She rebounded from her illness under the loving care of her husband and the joy of taking care of her newborn son. The junior Matthew Dillon was feeding at his mother's breast when Matt walked in the bedroom. He smiled as he watched his son having a late afternoon snack. Kitty looked up and a huge grin spread across her face. "I swear Matt your son eats more than you do."

Matt took off his boots and got into bed. He kissed the top of his son's head and then Kitty's lips. "Wait until he's older. You'll have two hungry men to feed."

She stroked his face with her hand, "I love you."

He leaned over to kiss her again. "I love you too." He watched his son feeding and gently ran his hand over his head. "I still can't believe it."

Kitty smiled, "he's our little miracle." She gently caressed her son's face. "Oh Matt, I never thought having a child could be so wonderful. I used to wonder why the Ronigers wanted so many children, now I see why."

Matt was unsure where this conversation was going, "Kitty, are you thinking about having another child? I mean, you had so much trouble having this one, I don't know whether we should."

She started to feel the tears well in her eyes as she looked away, "Oh, of course not Matt. You're right I don't know if my body could take having another. Besides, Matthew here is going to be a handful," she couldn't finish her sentence without voicing her disappointment.

"Well, good Kitty." He put his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. "I came very close to losing you. I don't think I could go through that again."

She shook her head yes but her heart was breaking.

Two weeks later she was on John's examining table. He helped her sit up. "Kitty you are coming along just fine, just fine. I can't tell you how amazed I am by how you bounced back from a very bad situation."

"I've had a wonderful nurse."

John smiled, "It clearly shows." She got down off the table and turned to him. "John, can we have a talk?" He led her to his office. She sat down in the chair and he sat close to her at the edge of his desk. "Now what's on your mind?"

"John, do you think it's crazy for me to want another child?"

"Not at all, many women find the experience exhilarating but I think you should keep in mind your age and the fact that you had some trouble with your first."

She looked down at her hands feeling dejected, "but you wouldn't rule it out?"

"No, I wouldn't but I think this is something you should discuss with Matt." He took her hand. "Kitty, why don't you give your body time to heal first then we can discuss having another, OK? Anyway you have another few weeks before this will be an issue."

"How long John?"

"I know you're anxious but I want you to be fully healed before you and Matt are intimate again."

She stood and smiled as she gave him a kiss. "John, I don't know what I would have done without you."

"Your happiness is all I want Kitty."

"Thank you." He walked with her out to the waiting area. Matt was holding Matthew and stood when they entered the room. "How's my patient Doc?"

"Matt I don't know how you did it but she is healing so nicely. You certainly have the magic touch."

Matt put his arm around her waist and pulled her close. "Thanks John for everything."

"Don't mention it Matt."

"You are coming by for dinner tonight, aren't you?"

"I'll be there Kitty, around seven?"

"That's fine, see you then."

He watched them leave his office and walk down his street. His nurse Becky watched as John's eyes followed their every move. "Is there something wrong Doctor?"

"Huh?

"I was wondering if everything was all right."

"Oh yes, Becky, everything is fine." He gave a little sigh, "They make such a lovely couple, don't they?"

"Yes Doctor." John turned and went back into his office. He sat down at his desk and took a deep breath. He could still smell her perfume as her scent lingered in the air. He knew Kitty was happy beyond even her wildest dreams so he knew he would have to wait. He would make it a point to always be there whenever she needed him and maybe one day she would need him too.

It was a quiet night in late summer. The Dillons were sitting out on the bedroom porch holding hands as they rocked in their chairs. He was absentmindedly rubbing her hand with his thumb and deep in thought. "Matt?"

"Hmm?"

"You're very quiet tonight."

"I guess I'm just thinking about my return trip to Dodge."

"We still have a week, don't we?"

"Not enough time to suit me."

She smiled, "I know cowboy but if you don't show up soon they'll only check with Quint and you don't want to put him in that position."

He kissed her hand, "and we don't want that, do we?"

She put her hand up to cover a yawn and Matt immediately stood. At the first sign that she was getting tired he would get her to lie down. He took her by the hands and helped her out of the chair. "You're getting sleepy so let's get you ready for bed."

She smiled, "I can get myself ready so why don't you go to bed and get it warm for me, OK?

He watched her go into the little room with the wash basin and her dressing table. He removed his clothes and put on the bottoms to the pajama set she had purchased for him. He hated to wear any clothing when he slept with her but since their bedroom activities had been limited he felt it was less temptation for both of them. He lay on his side facing away from her and was beginning to feel drowsy when he felt a hand run across his chest. He held her arm tightly to him like they have done for the past six weeks ready to fall asleep. She placed her lips by his ear and removed her arm from his hand and ran her hand down his chest until it was inside the waistband of the garment. She could feel him respond to her touch as she whispered, "make love to me Matt."

He removed her hand from under the fabric and kissed it. "Kitty, let's just go to sleep. You know we can't."

"What if I told you we can?"

"I would have to hear it from your doctor."

She laughed, "OK, I'll wait here. You go over and see John and then you better pray that I'm still up when you get back!"

He eyed her for a moment, "John said it was OK?"

"Don't take my word for it." She gave him a smile, "Go ahead, I insist."

A huge grin spread across his face when he noticed that she was wearing the nightgown he brought back from Hays City. "First, I would love you to show me that nightgown." She climbed over him and modeled the gown. "Kitty, you look absolutely beautiful in that." He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her down on the bed. "Too bad it's not going to stay on long." He made his way down her body reclaiming every pore of her skin with his touch. It had been so long and her body quivered with excitement at the prospect of feeling him inside her again. He was exceptionally deliberate in his movements afraid that a hurried tempo might cause her harm. Kitty was becoming exasperated by Matt's dawdling pace only to find that this blissfully heightened her pleasure. She could hear a faint whimpering coming from the corner of the room and tried to ignore it, unfortunately Matt did not. "Kitty, was that Matthew?"

"Oh Matt, he's fine." She pulled him up toward her and kissed him. She ran her fingers down his chest and her lips followed their path. She was at the waistband of his pants when the faint whimpering became a mild protest. He gently lifted her head and brought her up toward him, "honey, Matthew needs you."

"Matt he's fine, please."

"Kitty, he's starting to get hungry. I'll go get him and after he's taken care of I promise you I'll take care of you." He kissed her nose, "and, believe me, it will be worth the wait!" He walked over to the bassinet and gently caressed Matthew in his huge arms. He handed the baby to Kitty and took his place next to her. He had come to enjoy watching his son enjoy his meal and Kitty never looked more beautiful then when she was breastfeeding. He loved their talks during this time but tonight she was very quiet. When the baby had his fill she gave him back to Matt and he tucked him in. When he returned she was turned on her side with her nightgown back on. "Kitty, I believe it's your turn now." He began to pull her nightgown up her body but she stopped his hand.

"Matt, I think the moment has passed. We'll try another time." He released the garment and stared at her back for a moment.

"Sure honey, good night." He gently kissed her neck hoping she might reconsider but there was no response. He lay back on his pillow and turned away from her. They both fell into a very uneasy sleep.

Night was slowly shedding its darkness and Matt was still tossing and turning. He looked over at Kitty and he was torn between letting her rest and continuing their earlier aborted love making. He leaned over and moved some strands of hair away from her face. He gently kissed her neck as his hand glided the gown slowly up her delicate frame. He could see a slight smile on her lips so he continued his gentle onslaught of her body. She moved into his touch and their lips met. He quickly removed his pants and gently moved between her thighs. Along with her moan came a sharp cry from the corner of the room. The reality of parenthood snapped both participants to attention. Matt withdrew and painfully left the bed to retrieve his son. Watching his every move Kitty started to giggle. "What's so funny?"

"I hate to say this Matt but I think our son has a very bad case of poor timing." She pointed to his groin area.

"Don't remind me." He handed Matthew to her and climbed in bed next to them.

"He would be pleased at how good a father you are though."

"I only wish I could be given a chance to be a good husband!" Matt folded his hands over his chest and moped.

She smiled and ran her hand over his face. "Don't worry cowboy you'll be given more than a chance."

Matt settled Matthew back in his bassinet and made his way back to bed. Kitty always loved to watch Matt walk around naked and today was no exception. She positioned herself so her gaze was concentrated on his lower body. He looked down, "see something you like?"

"No, nothing in particular."

"I'll give you nothing in particular," he quickly got into bed and covered her body as their tongues passionately found each other again. They moved with a greater sense of urgency this time as their need for one another grew more intense with every stroke. When the release finally came they fell into each other's arms welcoming the day as one.

Their last week together was bittersweet. They had finally unlocked the secret of how to be good parents without neglecting their role of husband and wife. Knowing that it would be another four months before Matt would be home for good they didn't waste a moment in reaffirming that love. Unfortunately, they would be separated for another four months and neither was looking forward to the goodbye in the morning. For one last night they would be a family.

They stood at the train station, Matt holding the baby and Kitty stroking both of her men. She tried to remain strong but every now and then a tear would find its way down her cheek. Matt would wipe it away and then hold her tight. "Kitty, everything is going to be all right. I'll be back before you know it."

She tried to smile but it was half hearted, "I know Matt."

They stood holding on to each other quietly each with their own thoughts.

"All aboard."

He kissed Matthew then Kitty and they gazed at each other as she took the baby from his arms. He started to leave but then he remembered his wedding ring. He removed it and handed it to Kitty as he kissed her. He boarded the train and as it pulled away he flashed her one final smile.

Sadly, she walked back to John's coach. "He'll be back before you know it, you know." She smiled as John helped her into the carriage. They rode awhile and as expected she was a million miles away with her thoughts. "John."

"Yes?"

"Would you mind stopping by the storefront on Royal Street?"

"I thought you had given up on that idea for now."

"I just want to see if anyone bought the place."

"And if they hadn't?"

"John, I know I can create something very special there."

"Kitty, will you have time with the baby and all?"

"I'm not going to be doing the construction! Besides, I don't have to do anything right now. Just buying the place will be the first step. I just want to see what they're asking."

John started to laugh, "Kitty, you are a marvel." She returned his smile as he turned the coach around towards Royal Street.

The clattering of the train's wheels lulled Matt into a fitful sleep. Between the baby's irregular feeding habits and Kitty's irresistible body lying next to him sleep was hard to come by the past week. He stretched as he heard the conductor announcing the next stop was Dodge. He grabbed his bag and made his way off the train. It was a dreary day in town although it seemed to be quiet. Most of the drovers were probably gone by now so things would be getting back to normal. He laughed to himself when he thought about the reactions he was going to get from his good friends when he finally had the opportunity to tell them that he was now a husband and father. He reached the Dodge House and went to his room. He laid his hat and gun belt on the dresser and removed his boots. He fell back on the bed and before long his eyes closed.

John helped Kitty as they entered the storefront on Royal Street. The previous owner fell on hard times and the property was in foreclosure. The bank was more than willing to sell it at five hundred dollars. Kitty felt this was too good a deal to pass up so she bought it. They were looking around the room and she was mapping out how she perceived the space would be. John watched her and smiled as her excitement grew with every step. "So what do you think?"

"Well, you are certainly very excited about this."

"I am John. I can hardly wait to see how it will finally look."

"Kitty, this is going to be a lot of work. Promise me you will make sure you get a lot of rest."

"Oh John I will, so what do you think?"

He took another look around, "This is going to be the best restaurant that New Orleans has ever seen!"

"Did you hear that Matthew? Your mama is back in business!"

Matt walked into the jailhouse as Alex was pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Matt, it's so good to see you." He raised the coffee pot, "care for a cup?"

"Don't mind if I do. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, how was your trip?"

"It was a great." Matt took a sip of his coffee, "Alex, I thought you might like to know I've heard some real good things about you from the people in town; seems they didn't even miss me!"

"Matt, I can't believe that, you're quite a legend here. I've got some big shoes to fill but I appreciate the words. Actually, there is something I want to talk with you about."

"Oh?"

"It's about Festus. He's a good man and all but,"

"You would like to bring in your own people."

"Look, I'm not going to just get rid of him. I can pay him a small stipend until he finds something else but I'm not going to rely on him once I have my guys in place."

"I understand. Do you want me to tell him?"

"Oh, no, I'll talk to him. Matt, I do like him, don't get me wrong. We should be able to work something out. Besides, it's not going to be tomorrow you understand. It will be awhile before I can establish my group of deputies."

"Thanks for telling me Alex and if there is anything I can do."

Alex extended his hand, "I appreciate it Matt."

Matt shook Alex's hand and downed the last of his drink, "Thanks for the coffee."

Alex watched from the window as Matt made his way towards Delmonico's. When he entered the building he saw Doc sitting in the corner of the restaurant with an unfamiliar man. "Oh, here, Matt come sit with us." As he approached the table Doc introduced the man as he stood to greet Matt. "Matt, this is Dr. O'Connor, Dr. Rory O'Connor. He's come from back east, Baltimore to be exact, wanted to see what cow town doctoring was all about."

Matt extended his hand, "Dr. O'Connor."

"Please call me Rory."

"Fine Rory." Matt and Rory sat down. "So, tell me how long are you going to stay?"

"I'm really not sure Marshal. I guess it all depends how the town takes to me." He smiled at the two men, "Could be sooner than I think!"

"Oh, the people of Dodge are getting tired of this old codger," Matt waved his thumb in Doc's direction. "I'm sure they'll take to a young man like you just fine."

"You see what I mean, Rory. I can't tell you how many bullets I've dug out of his hide, how many times I've saved his life, but that's the thanks I get."

Matt turned to Doc, "and you enjoyed every minute of it, in fact the more painful the better!"

Doc worked the toothpick in his teeth, "don't believe a word of it. The good Marshal here tends to exaggerate."

Matt laughed, "I guess it is a little more civilized doctoring back in Baltimore."

"That it is Marshal but I felt I needed something to get me excited about medicine again. I thought that if I worked in more of a primitive setting it may remind me of why I got into the profession to begin with."

"Well then, you'll have many opportunities I'm sure. Do you have a family Rory?"

"No sir, I felt that with the demands that being a doctor took on my time it wouldn't be fair to burden another human being with it much less a family."

Doc looked over at Matt as he winced at Rory's words. "I know what you mean Rory."

"Do you have a family Matt?"

"No, much for the same reasons."

"Well, if you two will excuse me I'd like to get myself situated so we can start out first thing in the morning. I'll see you here for breakfast Doctor?"

"That you will Rory. We'll meet at seven?"

"Fine Doc, I'll be here." He extended his hand to Matt. "Nice meeting you Marshal." They both watched as he left the restaurant.

"So, you thinking of retiring Doc?"

"Oh, heaven's no. What would I do? No, Matt, I'm not retiring but I think at this point in my life it might be nice if Dodge had two doctors so I can do other things like fishing every once in awhile."

"Little jealous that I was enjoying your favorite pastime?"

"Oh, by the way, how was Quint?"

"He's good Doc."

"Where'd ya go?"

"Cold Springs, outside of Denver."

"Ooh, I bet you two had a great time."

"You'll never know how great!"

"See, that's what I'm talking about. I'll have someone here so the next time Quint wants to go off somewhere I'll be available."

"Well, you can probably join me because I intend to head for that part of the country after my retirement is official."

"By golly, I'll be looking forward to that Matt."

"I had a talk with Alex before. He wants to bring in his own people to fill the deputy positions. It'll kind of leave Festus out in the cold."

"You gonna' say something to him?"

"No, it won't be for awhile yet but it looks like in the future he'll have some time on his hands too." Matt thought a minute. "You know, I think I may have Festus and Newly join us." He sat back in his chair and let out with a very satisfied sigh, "yep, Doc, I think you all will be surprised by the scenery. I couldn't ask for anything more."

"I'm intrigued now. This sounds like some place."

Matt smiled as he got up out of the chair and put his hand on Doc's shoulder, "it sure is something Doc, that's for sure."


	7. I'm Coming Home To You

It was a cold blustery December night in Dodge. Matt sat in his hotel room in front of a warm fire contemplating going over to the Long Branch and having a couple of drinks with his friends. It had been a long four months and all he thought about during that time was getting home to Kitty and their son. In four days he would be leaving Dodge for good and returning to her loving arms. His thoughts then turned to Matthew when a knock at the door broke him from his reverie.

"Marshal, I hate to disturb you but Miss Hannah asked that I come get you."

"What's the matter Gertie?"

"Well, it's Doc. He's not feeling well. He asked for you."

"What's wrong with him?" Matt picked up his gun belt and reached for his coat.

"I don't know. He was having trouble breathing. We were closing up cause there weren't no one out on a night like tonight and Doc just said he couldn't breathe too good."

As he stepped out onto the boardwalk, a gust of wind took his breath away. He grabbed at his coat to protect him from the cold and with head down headed to the saloon. As they approached the Long Branch he noticed that the saloon looked dark and the outer doors were closed. He glanced over at Gertie with a quizzical look but she just stepped back and waited for Matt to enter first. He opened the door and stood a second to allow his eyes to adjust to the dimness of the room. "Doc? Where are you Doc?" As if on cue, every light in the place came on and the room erupted in a loud "Surprise!" Matt looked around and couldn't believe the number of people stuffed in the saloon.

Doc walked up to him, "Glad to see you were this concerned about me, personally I had my doubts." He winked at Matt and led the way over to the bar. One person after another congratulated Matt on his retirement and all conveyed their sorrow on his leaving. It was a dizzying whirl of hands and faces and hugs and kisses and at that moment he realized what his presence had meant to this town. The next thing he knew Doc was standing on the stairs, "Quiet now, quiet!" The room hushed as they gave Doc their upmost attention.

"We are here tonight to honor a man who put your, and my, well being and safety above everything else in his life. Who so totally dedicated himself to this town that even after bullets were removed or knife wounds were stitched or even when very high fevers took him to the point of delirium the first thing he would do when he was able to stand was to put that badge back on his chest and protect us from whatever criminal element was determined to wreck havoc on this town and I don't think that we can ever begin to repay him for what he has done."

Doc stopped a second to collect his thoughts, "Twenty years ago, a young kid rode into Dodge with very high ideals and a noble sense of justice and I am proud to say that today, against all odds, the man we are honoring tonight still possesses those same ideals and sense of justice." Doc tugged at his ear. "Matt has been my friend for twenty years and in all that time he has never wavered once from his beliefs or from his responsibility."

Doc surveyed the room. "There are many of you here tonight that have been in this town as long as I have and I'm sure every one of you can attest that Matt Dillon brought law and order to a very lawless town. I don't think anyone will disagree that Dodge City is what it is today because of Matt. We have all been touched by his integrity and courage and I don't know if a finer man exists anywhere. Now I don't want to take up too much time because we have many people who want to say a little something but before I go I would like to say one last thing. Matt you've been like a son to me," Doc's voice cracked and he cleared his throat before he continued, "it's not going to be the same around here. I'm really going to miss you, good luck Matt." He raised his glass and everyone shouted, "Here, here."

As the night wore on, the outpouring of gratitude warmed Matt's heart. Never wanting to be the center of attention he was finding this adulation surprisingly satisfying. He only wished Kitty could be there to share it with him. He was deep in thought when he heard an ever increasing chant, "Speech, speech, speech." He smiled and made his way over to the stairs. He raised his hands to quiet the crowd then he began, "I really don't know what to say. I was never very good at speeches, in fact, if any of you ever attended one of my other speeches you'd know what I mean." The crowd responded with mild laughter. "To tell you the truth, I can't believe it has been twenty years." He shook his head, "I didn't think I'd make it pass two much less twenty!" The laughter was louder this time. "I want to thank each and every one of you for coming tonight. I know it's a horrible night to travel but it really means a lot and I want you to know how much I appreciate your being here." Matt looked around the room, "I have made so many good friends in Dodge but if I started to name every one we'd be here all night!"

As the crowd roared their approval Matt tried to continue, "It wouldn't be right, OK now settle down," he raised his hands to quiet the crowd. "As I was saying, it wouldn't be right if I didn't mention some of my closest friends.

Newly, we have probably known each other the shortest amount of time. Even though you had your own responsibilities, with the gun shop and all, you've always found the time to help me whenever I needed you. You were always calm under pressure and you never hesitated to put your life on the line. I will be forever grateful for that and I thank you Newly."

"Marshal, it was my pleasure to be of assistance." Newly raised his glass and motioned toward Matt.

Festus, we were all very lucky when you decided to make Dodge your home. Your family stories are always entertaining, well, most of them anyway," the crowd laughed in agreement, "and I know that we will never find another one quite like you again."

"Well, thank the good Lord for that!" Doc rubbed his moustache and shook his head. Festus was too far away from Doc to make a comment as the saloon erupted into laughter.

Matt raised his hand again to settle the crowd. "Festus, we have been together for a lot of years and you were always there for me no matter what I asked. Maybe you didn't have a lot of education but I always relied on your instincts which pulled us out of many a difficult spot. I could not have done this job without you and I sincerely thank you for being there and always being a good friend." For the first time anyone could remember Festus didn't have a response. He just acknowledged Matt's words with a nod of his head.

"Doc, I really wouldn't be here without you. You are truly a miracle worker and I am living proof of how good a doctor you really are. I have always appreciated your wisdom, your humor, but most of all your caring. I didn't always followed your advice when a lot of the times I should have,"

"I would say all of the time!" Doc raised his hand to make a point as everyone again joined in the laughter.

"Oh, Doc, I'm sure there was one time."

"Yeah, when you were unconscious!"

Matt laughed as he tried again to settle the crowd. "Doc, I don't know what I would have done all these years without your friendship. I could always count on you to give me good counsel and help me through the bad times. Any man would be fortunate to have had you as a father and I count myself as one. Thank you Doc for everything, I will never be able to repay you for all that you have done for me." The room broke into spontaneous applause as Doc's eyes started to well with tears.

As the room finally settled down Matt continued, "Having this party in this saloon means a lot to me. This building truly was my home for most of those twenty years. I'm sure no one will be surprised to hear that I was in love with Kitty Russell. Foolishly I thought she would be here forever but one thing I learned from all this is when you truly find the one person in your life who means everything in the world to you, you need to make them your own. Every day is a struggle for me not having her here and there is not a day that goes by that I don't wonder if she is all right." Matt looked down and took a deep breath, "I wish that she could have been here today and shared this wonderful celebration with me because I know this would have been the happiest day in her life. So, here's to Kitty Russell; a woman who I will love forever." In hushed tones, everyone raised their glass and took a sip of their drink. The silence continued until Matt spoke again, "Hey, we're here for a party, aren't we?" The room shouted their approval, "Then let's enjoy ourselves." The room erupted in a loud cheer as Matt made his way to the bar. He waded through the crowd as everyone slapped him on the back in gratitude and love.

Most of the townspeople had filed out of the saloon as Matt sat at a table with his closest friends. Although he was very close to inebriated he noticed Burke making his way to the door. He got up and grabbed Burke by the arm. "I'm sorry Burke."

"What for Marshal?"

"That I didn't include you in my speech tonight."

"Oh, that's OK. We were never close friends."

"No, but you were always there when I needed you and you put your life on the line just like the others." He extended his hand to shake Burke's. "Thank you I will always remember what you've done."

Burke took his hand. "It was a pleasure Marshal. I'm really sorry to see you go. You are quite a man."

"The town helped me to be that man." Matt smiled and Burke returned the gesture. "Good night Marshal."

"Goodnight Burke."

Matt returned to the table. "Floyd, give us another bottle."

Doc raised his hand, "No more for me Matt."

"Much obliged Matthew,"

"Oh, for heaven's sake. Matt you'll go broke if you keep ordering bottles with him at the table."

"Listen ya ole scudder I still didn't get ya back for them there words ya was a sayin' about me before in front of all them people."

"Bother you some I gather?"

"It was just killin' ya to listen to Matthew here sayin' somethin' nice about me wasn't it, ya old know-it-all. And another thing I just don't think ya as good a doctor as Matthew says ya are."

"Oh, I'm not huh?"

"No, cause there was a heap of times ya didn't help me atoll with my ailments."

"Oh, I didn't?"

"No, anythin' ya gaves me didn't help a lick. I hads to take care of it myself."

"Oh, is that why you never paid me for any of your visits?"

"Listen here ya old quackedy quack I'd," Matt held up his hand. "Can we please enjoy ourselves tonight?

Doc and Festus looked at each other as Matt poured everyone another drink. He raised his glass "To good friends, what would life be without them."

They all threw down their drinks and Newly stood to leave. "Thanks again Marshal but I have to get up early tomorrow. I think I'll call it a night."

Matt stood to shake his hand, "Good night Newly."

He stumbled slightly as he sat back in his chair. Doc asked Hannah for some coffee as Matt and Festus continued to finish off the bottle. It was around three in the morning when the three men made their way out of the saloon. Matt was feeling the effects of the liquor and Festus and Doc were doing their best to help him to the Dodge House. As they were making their way up the stairs Matt looked at his two friends, "I don't have any responsibilities, you know that?"

"Well, some of us are lucky," Doc took the key from Matt and opened his room. They threw him on the bed and Festus removed his boots and belt. "Doc, ya think ya needs me to stay with Matthew tonight? Ya know, make sure he's all right?"

"No, I'll think he'll be fine. I'll sit with him for awhile just in case but you go on, get some sleep. You have a town to watch over tomorrow."

"OK then, see ya in the morning Doc."

"Good night Festus."

Doc made a fire before he sat down in the chair. The room was quiet as Matt slept soundly. He was just about to leave when he heard Matt softly speaking, "Kitty, oh Kitty, I love you. You feel so good in my arms honey, I've missed you so," Doc shook his head as he sat on the bed and gently shook Matt. Matt looked at him wide eyed, "Doc, is there something wrong?

"Matt, I know that you are planning to go off to the mountains but I think there is something else you need to do first."

"What's that?" He rubbed his hand over his eyes.

"Find Kitty."

"Doc, it's no use."

"You can't keep torturing yourself. Find her, tell her how you feel, and marry her."

"No, it's better this way. She's safe and away from danger."

"How do you know?"

"I just know."

Doc furrowed his eyebrows, "you're sure of that?"

"Doc, Kitty never fully recovered from the Bonner attack. She tried very hard but that day will always stay with her. Every decision she makes is based on that. I know that she would be here today if it wasn't for Bonner." He ran his fingers through his hair. "Wherever she is I know she won't be a target anymore for a Bonner or a Mannon or an Etta Stone or any number of their kind who want revenge. I failed so many times to keep her safe and I think she finally wanted some peace and security. She couldn't keep running from shadows the rest of her life."

"But it's different now Matt. You're retired and you can be with her all the time."

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean they won't still be coming to settle a score. If I keep to my plan and someone does come looking for revenge they'll find me alone."

"Well, you've never listen to me in the past so why should I expect you to start now. I just wish I could change your mind about this."

"No you can't Doc but I appreciate you trying."

"You going to be OK?"

"I'm fine Doc. Why don't you go and get some sleep."

Doc made his way to the door, "Sweet dreams and I know they will be."

"What?"

Doc smiled, "never mind, good night." He closed the door behind him and Matt got up and removed his clothes. It would only be a few more days and he would be in his loving wife's arms again.

It had been a long four months for Kitty. She tried to relieve her constant thoughts of Matt by looking at different plans for the renovation of the building on Royal Street. As the days passed, she wished that they had discussed a date when Matt would be home. Matthew was starting to discover the world around him and he was getting cuter by the minute. She was transforming the house into a Christmas wonderland and she wanted Matt home in time to share the holiday with her and their son. She was sitting in the big armchair next to the kitchen feeding Matthew and stroking his hair as she sung his favorite lullaby. Maggie heard her singing and smiled as she entered the room. "I was just going to start dinner but if you would like me to leave,"

"Maggie, please go right ahead. Matthew is almost finished and then I'll put him down for his nap."

Maggie looked back at Kitty as she started the meal. "Miss Kitty you just look so happy when you feed him. It's wonderful to watch."

"Maggie I never thought I would ever hear myself say this but it is the most wonderful experience I've ever had." She stroked his head again, "I think he looks more like Matt every day; what do you think?"

Maggie approached and leaned over them. "If he keeps growing at the pace he is, he most certainly will be the size of him all right." She let him clasp her finger, "when will the Marshal be home?"

"Soon I'm hoping. We really didn't discuss a date."

"It would be nice if he was here for Christmas."

"Yes, it would." Matthew had drifted off to sleep and Kitty carefully put him in the bassinet.

"Is Dr. John coming for dinner?"

"Yes, we are going to go over some of the plans for the restaurant." Kitty made her way over to help Maggie with dinner. "He has been such a big help with that. I swear I don't know when he gets a chance to be a doctor with all the time he spends helping me."

"He cares a great deal about you."

"He is a good friend." She started to skin the potatoes. "I guess because I was one of the few people in Dodge that tried to make him feel at home when he came."

Maggie carefully arranged the meat in the pan, "I believe that people don't forget the kindness of strangers."

"Well, I'll never forget what he has done for me, that's for sure. Kitty began to put the potatoes in the pot, "I know one thing I value his friendship."

Maggie just smiled but she couldn't help but think that the Marshal might not find this friendship as valuable.

The day Matt was to leave, Dodge was hit with a blinding snowfall. He was anxious to get on his way as he ate in Delmonico's with Doc. "Why are you so fidgety today?"

Matt raised his hand in an exasperated wave towards the door, "this crazy storm comes up and it's going to delay me at least another day."

"Why are you so all fired up to be waist deep in snow anyway?"

"You're exaggerating Doc."

"Well, if you think this is bad what do you think is happening in the mountains? Now, drink your coffee and hush."

"Thanks for being so understanding."

"Matt, if I were you I'd wait until spring. I don't even know if you could find Caleb's cabin in all this mess."

"Doc, no offense but I just can't stay in this town any longer. I've had my fill, I want out."

Doc paused a minute as he stared into his cup, "maybe you should have thought about that before you let Kitty walk out of this town."

"Kitty has nothing to do with this."

"Oh, no? Do you think you'd be all so fired up to leave if she still owned the Long Branch?" Doc tugged at his ear. "I know you wouldn't be here having coffee with me, I'll tell you that." He faced Matt, "by golly, you'd be up in her room right now keeping each other nice and warm…among other things."

"It just so happens," Matt stopped and looked away as he softly continued, "you don't know everything, you know."

"Maybe not but this I do know. You were a dang fool and to spend the rest of your life alone, up in the mountains, just waiting for some outlaw to come and blow your head off, well, it's suicide Matt." He took a sip of his coffee. "What is it a punishment? Is that what this is? You let the one thing in your life go that ever made you happy so you don't care what happens from now on?"

"Can't a man get away without people analyzing his motives?"

"No, because this makes no sense Matt. You've been in civilization too long to want to make the wilderness your home for the rest of your life."

"Doc I appreciate your concern but I've always had to do things my way."

Doc looked down at his cup as he played with the handle. "I know that Matt it's just, well, I'm going to miss you and I selfishly thought I could keep you around for another couple of months."

"Doc, this doesn't mean I won't come back from time to time or that you can't come and stay with me for awhile."

"I know that Matt but you won't be around every day."

"Doc, how many days was I really in Dodge anyway when I was Marshal?"

"Maybe so, but did you ever give any thought that you're leaving me here all alone with Festus!"

Matt laughed, "better you than me!"

Doc paid for breakfast and the two old friends headed for the saloon to get another cup of coffee.

It was Christmas morning and Maggie was making breakfast when Kitty entered the room carrying Matthew. "Merry Christmas Maggie."

"Merry Christmas Miss Kitty." The two women hugged.

Maggie kissed Matthew's head, "and Merry Christmas to you too Master Matthew."

"Oh, Maggie everything smells wonderful and this house, well, it is what I always pictured a house should look like at Christmas. Thank you so much for helping me decorate, it came out beautifully."

"It did, didn't it?"

"Is there something I can help you with?"

"No, Miss Kitty you just sit and relax I'll have breakfast ready in a minute. Do you want to eat in the kitchen or the dining room?"

"Kitchen is fine." She lifted Matthew over her head and kissed his belly as he giggled, "Oh, I love this time of year, don't you Matthew?" She kept nibbling away at his belly as the child's giggling increased.

"No word from the Marshal?"

"No, I was hoping he would have been here for Matthew's first Christmas. Right little man?" She kissed the top of his head. "We've missed your daddy haven't we?" Matthew gave her a big smile. "And wait until you see the presents Santa left for you." He started to giggle as she rubbed his tummy, "Yes, that's because you're such a good boy."

Maggie smiled over at the boy's infectious laughter, "Is Dr. John joining us for Christmas dinner?"

"Yes, oops, I think Matthew here needs to be changed. I'll be right back."

After breakfast, Maggie and Kitty were sitting in the living room opening their gifts. Maggie gave Kitty a beautiful hand crocheted sweater that she immediately put on. "Maggie this is gorgeous, thank you so much." She leaned into Maggie and the two women hugged.

Maggie opened her present to find a stunningly hand painted jewelry box containing the most exquisite gold bracelet she had ever seen. "Oh, Miss Kitty this is too much you shouldn't have."

"Maggie, you have been so wonderful to all of us. I will never be able to repay you for all you've done." She again leaned into Maggie to hug her.

"Miss Kitty, you gave me an opportunity to become part of your family and that's thanks enough in my book." She looked down at her gift, "I will treasure this forever."

"I'm so glad you like it."

Kitty had put the baby on a blanket in the middle of the room and he was thoroughly enjoying rolling around and discovering all the beautifully colored wrapping. He was in the midst of a raucous debate with himself over which he enjoyed more the wrapping or his newest toy. The two women laughed as they watched the baby ponder his latest dilemma.

"If you'll excuse Miss Kitty I think I better start preparing dinner."

"All right."

As Maggie got up out of the chair, John entered the room. "Merry Christmas Dr. John," she leaned over and gave him a big hug and kiss.

"Merry Christmas Maggie. I see that you've already gotten to your gifts so here I hope you enjoy it."

She was taken aback by his generosity, "Oh, Dr. John thank you but you shouldn't have. I don't have anything for you."

"Maggie, Christmas is about giving, not receiving. I just hope you like it."

"Oh, I'm sure I will." She gave him another kiss. "Thank you so much."

John looked down at Matthew lying on the floor oblivious to anyone around him but his new play toys. "Kitty, he is getting more adorable every time I see him."

"I know he is so much fun to watch." She gave him a kiss and a big hug, "Merry Christmas John."

"Merry Christmas, Kitty." He gave her a small box.

"Oh, John, come sit down and let's open our presents." He followed her to the couch then she went to the tree to retrieve his gift. "You first."

John opened his box and it was a beautiful pair of gold initialed cufflinks. "These are the most handsome cufflinks I have ever owned. Thank you very much Kitty."  
He pointed toward her, "now you."

She opened the box to find a ruby stoned pin shaped like a rose with a small gold stem coming from the gold back. "John, I have no words to describe how beautiful this is. Thank you so much."

"You're very welcome." He took the pin from her hand and pinned it on her dress. She leaned into him to give him a kiss and a big hug.

"Well now, I hope there's some of that left over for me!"

Kitty turned to see Matt standing at the entrance of the living room. She jumped up and ran into his outstretched arms. "Merry Christmas Matt." She ran her hand down his face, "oh, cowboy I'm so glad you're here." It took awhile before they released each other from their passionate embrace. Kitty turned and pointed toward the floor. "Matt look at our son, isn't he the most adorable child in the world?"

Matt leaned down and picked him up. Matthew fussed a little leaving his toys behind but his father soon garnered all of his attention. Someone new was in the room and Matthew needed to explore this new face. "By golly, if he isn't the most adorable child I really don't know who is."

John stood and extended his hand, "Merry Christmas Matt."

Matt shook it, "Merry Christmas John."

Matt took a deep breath. "I think Maggie has outdone herself. Come on I want to wish her a Merry Christmas."

Dinner was filled with laughter and great stories and multiple compliments to the chef. Maggie was a little embarrassed by all the attention but she appreciated their effusive commentary. Kitty looked over at Matt wishing that they were alone. He smiled back at her knowing exactly what was going through her mind. After dinner they all retired to the living room and drank glasses of Napoleon brandy. Kitty laid Matthew back on his blanket and the topic of conversation centered on his every move. Kitty laid her head on Matt's shoulder as he pulled her closer. She smiled up at him and he gently kissed her. After he finished his drink John rose to leave. "Maggie, thank you again for a wonderful dinner."

Matt stood and moved toward John, "John, thanks again for taking care of my family. Merry Christmas."

"Matt, it is always my pleasure." They shook hands.

Kitty gave him a kiss, "thank you John for everything." John smiled and headed for the door.

Maggie stood, "I have some dishes to do so if you will excuse me."

"Maggie it's Christmas. Sit down and have another glass of brandy.

"Oh, no, Marshal I really shouldn't. Thank you anyway."

"Maggie, you're going to have to learn how to call me Matt. I'm retired now." He smiled down at Kitty as he held her close.

"It might take some getting used to but I'll try." She smiled up at him as she left the room.

They sat back down on the couch comfortably in each other's arms watching their son amuse himself. "I'm so glad you were able to make it home for Christmas."

Matt took a deep breath, "so am I."

They both laughed as they watched Matthew trying hard to lift himself. "I have a feeling your son will be walking soon if he keeps this up."

"Yep, I see his mother's fierce determination in his eyes."

Kitty slapped him, "Oh, you." He pulled her into a kiss.

She reached down to hold the locket that was hanging around her neck. "Did I get a chance to tell you how much I love this?"

"No, but I just thought you were going to wait until later tonight."

"Uh, uh, Matt, I thought I would verbally thank you now."

"Oh you will, will you?" Matt started to tickle her and her laughter could be heard throughout the house. She fell back prone on the couch as Matt continued his ticklish torture. As her laughter subsided they looked into each other's eyes as his hand gently caressed her body. He leaned down over her and recaptured her lips in a passionate hold. He began to make his way down her neck when she stopped him. "Matt, not here. Let's go upstairs."

He helped her off the couch and bent down to take Matthew into his arms. Matthew fussed a little and Matt gave him a kiss, "Come on big fella'. Your parents need some time together and we can't very well leave you here all by yourself, now can we?"

Kitty had just returned from the kitchen, "I wanted to let Maggie know we were going upstairs." Matt smiled and the Dillon family made their way to the bedroom.

Kitty was getting ready for bed and Matt put the baby in his bassinet. He changed into his pajama bottoms and went to his dresser to put his wedding ring on. He was passing Kitty's dresser when he noticed the rose pin lying there. He picked it up in his hand and was rubbing his thumb over the stone when Kitty came up behind him and started to stroke his chest as she softly kissed his back. She waited for a response but he seemed to be preoccupied with something.

"Something wrong Matt?"

"Hmm? Oh, no." He put the pin back down on her dresser. "Rather nice piece of jewelry."

"Yes it is."

"I hope I wasn't interrupting something tonight."

"Matt? What's wrong?"

He turned toward Kitty and smiled, "Nothing." He cupped her head in his hands and kissed her. "I've missed you."

She pulled away, "Matt something is bothering you and I want to talk about it before we go any further." He looked down hesitant to ruin the mood and possibly jeopardize their reunion.

"Matt?"

He took a deep breath, "Kitty, I've been away for four months and every day of those four months I have done nothing but think about you and Matthew. All the way here I kept picturing you sitting by the tree holding our son waiting for me to walk through the door. Instead I find you sitting on the couch, exchanging gifts, and embracing John." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know, I guess I thought you would be thinking about me and counting down the days too. Except I come home to find Christmas in full swing and then that you've bought a place and are in the process of turning it into a restaurant." Matt raised his hands in an exasperated gesture. "That news probably wouldn't have bothered me so much had I heard it from you first!"

She smiled and rubbed his chest. "You are your most adorable when you show that faint trace of jealousy, you know that?" She reached up and gave him a kiss. "Matt, I believe I told you that I was considering buying the Royal Street property while I was pregnant and although I'm not sure why John got me that beautiful piece of jewelry I know that he has done a lot for me and Matthew and I wasn't about to not invite him for Christmas dinner." She ran her fingers along the top of his waistband. "There is one thing that I am sure of beyond any doubt and that is that you are the only man that I will ever love or want to be loved by. Now, we can waste time debating the guest list for the holiday meal or you can do what I'm positive was also on your mind as you traveled on your way down here."

He stared into her eyes and then pulled her close. "Sometimes you can be too smart for your own good, you know that Mrs. Dillon?" He played with some strains of her hair. "But I do love you."

"Well, we've got a whole night for you to show me how much."

He stood back and ran his eyes up and down her body. It pleased him that she was wearing the nightgown that he brought back from Hays. He ran his fingers down her neck to the end of her shoulders as he slowly rolled the straps down her arms and watched as the rest of the gown fell to the floor. She was still the most beautiful woman he had ever known and he gently picked her up in his arms and carried her over to the bed where he carefully laid her down on the soft sheets. She sat back up and pulled him toward her as she opened his bottoms and glided the silky material down his legs until she let them hit the floor. He slowly climbed on top of her and tenderly reclaimed her body, her soul, and her love.

Trying to catch his breath he fell back on the pillow. Kitty snuggled next to him, "you must have been giving this a lot of thought these past four months, cowboy."

Matt smiled as he carefully removed strains of hair from her face. "Well, truthfully, there are a few other things I'd like to show you but you'll have to let me catch my breath first."

"Oh, is that a fact cowboy?"

"That's a fact ma'am."

"Then you better catch your breath pretty quick because our son has been very good up until now. I just can't say how long he'll stay that way." He turned toward her and worked his lips down her body as she chuckled. "You are exceptionally resilient this evening, cowboy, and I," her sentence was finished with soft moans. Across town a lonely figure sat in front of a fireplace, glass of bourbon in one hand and a pair of cufflinks in the other.

The Dillons had just fallen asleep when they were awakened by Matthew's cries. Matt got up and made his way over to the bassinet. He picked the baby up in his arms, "Shh, I'm bringing you to your mama now everything is gonna' be all right."

He handed the baby to Kitty and slipped in next to her. He gently ran his fingers through her hair. "You look so beautiful Mrs. Dillon."

She smiled over at him, "Surprising with the lack of sleep I've had."

"I didn't hear you complaining a little while ago."

She motioned for him to come closer. She put her hand on his face and gave him a kiss. She looked down at Matthew. "I'll have to speak with John and see if I might be able to start giving him formula. No reason why you shouldn't feed your son too."

Matt frowned, "but I would much rather watch you feed him especially when you are as buck naked as you are now."

She slapped his arm, "you're incorrigible!" She ran her hand down Matthew's face. "So tell me, how is everything in Dodge."

"I think I have them all believing I'm headed for the mountains or at least will make it to Denver. Honey, you should have seen the party they threw for me at the Long Branch." He ran his fingers down her face, "I wish you were there," he kissed her lips.

"I wish I was there too." She ran her fingers through his hair. "So, what else?"

"Ooh, boy, I got pretty drunk."

"Now that I would have loved to see, you stumblin' out of the Long Branch."

"Wasn't a pretty sight I can tell you that. I felt sorry for Doc and Festus. They had a hard time getting me to my room."

She chuckled, "should've locked you up for disturbing the peace."

He smiled, "I was very orderly ma'am just a little wobbly that's all."

"Well, beside you drinking yourself into oblivion what else was going on?"

Matt paused, "Alex is recruiting his own deputies so somewhere down the road Festus will be out of a job."

"What's he going to do?"

"I'm not sure but he doesn't know yet."

"Matt, you should have told him."

"Kitty, it's going to be awhile before Alex finds the right men, besides this is his decision. It wouldn't be right for me to interfere.

She shook her head, "Men!"

"Now, don't start worrying about Festus. He'll be all right. Besides, he'll be here," Matt stopped in mid sentence.

"Be where?"

"Well, I wanted to keep this as a surprise but I might as well tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"Doc, Festus and Newly are going to meet me in Denver on May first. They think I'm going to take them into the mountains for some hunting and fishing but my thought was I'd bring them down here."

"Oh, Matt what a wonderful idea! It will be so good to see them again."

"I was hoping you were going to feel that way."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I know you were worried that if someone knew where you were their life would be in danger."

"I still am, but you know Festus. He's probably telling everyone in Dodge right now about meeting Matthew for the best hunting and fishing anyone has ever seen. By May, he'll have everyone so convinced that they'll swear they're making the trip." She laughed to herself, "I think we'll be safe." Matthew had fallen to sleep and Matt carefully took him back to his bassinet. He came back to bed and held Kitty in his arms. They both lay quiet as Matt ran his hand up and down her back. His touch always soothed her but this time she had never felt so contented in her life. She held his hand turning the wedding ring around his finger. Matt looked down at her and smiled. "What are you thinking about?"

"Us."

"What about us?"

"Oh, that I won't be hearing gunshots and holding my breath anymore or spending sleepless nights imaging you lying dead somewhere when you've been gone longer than I expected or that I won't be watching Doc opening you up praying that I would be given just one more chance to tell you how much I loved you." She stroked his chest and smiled up at him, "we've living the life we talked about for so many years. We have a beautiful baby boy and you're finally home for good."

He hugged her but Kitty could sense that Matt was troubled, "what is it Matt?"

"Hmm?"

"What's on your mind?"

There was no other woman in the world who could read him like she could, "Doesn't it frighten you a little?"

"What frightens me?"

Matt thought a moment wanting to choose his words very carefully. "Kitty, since I was a kid I never thought about putting down roots anywhere. I just thought I'd drift from one place to another and if I lived long enough to retire I figured I would just go up into the mountains and live my remaining days alone but then you entered my life and I knew alone wasn't going to cut it anymore. Now I know it might have seemed like it took me a long time to realize how lonely I would be without you but that wasn't true, I knew right off. I guess I was afraid, afraid of loving someone so much that I couldn't exist if they were gone." He took a deep breath as he ran his fingers through his hair. "We've been so good together for so long but I sometimes wonder if maybe that wasn't because we were apart so much and the threat of death hanging over our heads, well, might have enhanced the times when we were together. I guess what I'm saying is it sometimes scares me when I think that we will be around each other all the time and maybe, well, maybe you might not like this man very much." He looked up at the ceiling, "that maybe life won't be as exciting or I won't be as exciting as you remember."

Kitty lay silent for a few seconds, "Matt, I think you know that when I was a young woman I never had any expectations that a white knight would ride up and take me away from my horrible existence. I knew that was never going to happen for me. The men I knew only wanted one thing they never looked at me as marriageable material so family and happily ever after I was pretty certain was not in the cards. I was used and then discarded and I ran from one unhappy, and sometime dangerous, situation to another because I was nothing more than a dance hall girl. Then I came to Dodge and you sat across from me that morning and I knew that there would never be another man that I would ever want or need again but you were the respectable lawman and I was still some painted doll who worked saloons. It was that morning I had decided then and there that I wouldn't be going upstairs any longer and I will always be grateful to Bill for giving me a job where I wouldn't have to." She smiled and shook her head, "After I'd see you some nights I'd sit up thinking about lying in your arms and making love to you but the thought that I'd only have your body and never your heart," she paused to gather her emotions while Matt rubbed her back. "I will always remember the first night we were together because you made it very clear that you weren't there to use me but that you were there to love me. That night was the first time I ever truly gave myself to a man. You were my knight Matt and you still are and there will never be another man who could ever be as exciting as you were or are now." She reached up and kissed him.

Matt lay silent for awhile with his eyes closed. He turned toward her with watery eyes and a big smile, "I love you Mrs. Dillon." He gently kissed her lips and she softly ran her fingers down his cheek. "I will always love you, cowboy."

"You sure you won't get tired of me?" Matt smiled as he cupped her chin with his hand and they gazed into each other's eyes.

"Not a chance." She smiled as they continued to caress each other. As they were slowly drifting off to sleep Matt looked down at Kitty and played with strands of her hair. She released a pleasant sigh before she began to softly snore. Matt smiled knowing how contented she was but he still had these lingering doubts. They were two very independent people who loved each other passionately. Just as sleep was beginning to overtake him he wondered if love would be enough to last them a lifetime.


	8. Reunion

It was a cool day for an April afternoon in New Orleans. The past couple of months the Dillon's had settled into a typical family routine and Matthew was developing very quickly. Kitty's renovation plans were starting to come together and she was busy mulling over a multitude of options for the restaurant floor plans in her office. Matt was in the bedroom playing with Matthew and she could hear father and son's laughter down the hall as she was trying to focus her full attention on the plans in front of her. She jumped when Matt ran in extolling their son's latest conquest. "Kitty, watch this. Wave bye, bye. Matthew wave bye, bye." His face broke into a big smile as his little fingers flexed up and down. "Kitty isn't he amazing?" Kitty smiled as she rose from her chair. She leaned over and kissed Matthew on his forehead. "You are a smart little boy, aren't you Matthew." She stroked his hair then turned to Matt and caressed his face. "Matt, I just need to go over these sketchers a little while longer. We've not making any money with the place unfinished." She kissed him and her fingers worked their way through his hair.

"Don't work too long the men in your life miss you."

"And I miss them. I promise I won't be long." Matt left the room and Kitty returned to her drawings. A few hours later she could hear Matthew's soft cries. It sounded like he was hungry but since they had been experimenting with formula she was hoping that Matt would feed him. The cries became increasingly louder as she realized he was bringing the child to her. "Kitty, Matthew is hungry."

"Matt, he can have the formula."

"I thought we were alternating between formula and breastfeeding?

"Matt it truly doesn't matter, the formula is fine." Matt started his way downstairs when Kitty yelled after him, "oh, and try to give him some mashed fruit or vegetable, whatever we have, ask Maggie."

Between the lateness of the hour and the stillness of the house Kitty was becoming very tired. She sat at her desk rubbing her eyes when Matt came up behind her and started to massage her shoulders. "Hmm, that feels so good." He moved her hair to the side and kissed the back of her neck as he whispered in her ear. "I just put Matthew down and I thought I could now take care of his mama." He started to open the back of her dress. She turned and grabbed his hands, "Matt, I really do need to decide on a design and as much as I want nothing more than for you to take care of me it will have to wait. I promise you I won't be long." Without a word he straightened up and slowly walked back to their bedroom.

About an hour later a very exhausted woman walked over to her son and smiled as she stroked his hair. "Sleep tight my angel." She went into the room to freshen up, slipped on her silky nightgown, and carefully climbed into bed. It sounded like Matt had fallen to sleep and she deliberated whether she should wake him. She gently put her arm around his massive chest and kissed his neck tenderly as she whispered, "I heard somewhere that Matthew's mama was going to be taken care of. I'm just checking to see if that rumor is true." He turned toward her with a huge smile on his face. "Well now, I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to come to bed."

She kissed him, "I couldn't concentrate much after you left."

He began to run his fingers down her body, "seems like my plan worked."

"You better be worth it cowboy."

"Oh, I don't think you'll have any complaints." Matt sat up and leaned against the headboard as Kitty sat between his legs and leaned against his chest. He massaged her shoulders as he kissed her neck and she could feel the weight of her new venture melt away. A cool breeze blew through the window as they lay in each other's arms. Kitty snuggled into Matt's chest, "I have to admit it far exceeded my expectations."

Matt smiled as he kissed her on the top of her head. "I'm glad I didn't disappoint."

"You never do my love." She was lost in her thoughts stroking his chest when she looked up into his crystal blue eyes, "Matt, thanks for taking care of Matthew while I'm trying to get the restaurant off the ground. You really have been wonderful with him."

"He's our son Kitty besides I'm having the time of my life watching him grow."

"Well, still the same you've been bearing the child rearing burden and I'm very grateful."

"A son needs his daddy to teach him things and I'm enjoying the experience."

"I hope, among all the manly things, you'll also teach him how to treat a woman."

"That goes without saying ma'am but I think if he just watches how I treat his mama he'll know what to do."

"We won't show him everything, will we?" Kitty responded with a wily smile.

"No, there are some things I want to share with his mama alone," he took his hand and lifted her chin for a kiss.

"When are you leaving to pick up the boys?"

"In a couple of weeks. That should get me there in time to meet them on the first."

"Oh Matt, I can hardly wait to see them all again. I just wish I had the restaurant up and running, then it would really be like old times."

"I think they'll be so glad to see you they won't care where they are." Matt started to smile, "I can hardly wait to see the look on their faces."

"I hope they aren't too disappointed when they realize they won't be out fighting the wilderness. You know how you men are about running around in vast wasteland."

"I'll just disregard that comment." He poked her in the side, "I'm just not sure how I'm getting them down here but I have a little time yet to think about it."

She started to speak as a yawn interrupted her sentence, "I'm sure you'll come up with something." Her eyes were getting heavy as she snuggled closer to him. Matt looked down and smiled as he saw Kitty trying to keep her eyes open. He kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Sleep well my love."

As they rode in the coach to the station they were discussing how fast the past couple of weeks had gone by. When they arrived at the train depot Matthew began to fuss as Kitty looked down at her son, "You know your daddy is going away, don't you sweetheart? Don't worry he's going to be back very soon with the rest of your family." Matthew leaned over to reach for Matt which brought a smile to Matt's face, "Come here little man. Now, while I'm gone you're going to be the man of the house and I want you to take good care of your mama for me." He squealed with delight being in Matt's arms. The train was about to board so he gave Kitty his wedding ring and grabbed her around the waist pulling her close for a long goodbye kiss. He kissed Matthew's cheek and handed him back to Kitty. Matthew kept reaching for Matt as he made his way to the train. Matt could hear the boy start to cry but he knew that if he turned around now it would break his heart to see the hurt in his little face. Matt positioned himself at the window as Kitty brought Matthew closer. The train began to move and Kitty leaned into her tearful son, "wave bye, bye, to daddy Matthew. He raised his little hand and flexed his fingers. They watched Matt's hand wave from the window until the train was gone from view.

Matt arrived in Denver on a blustery May day. He went straight to the hotel and relaxed awhile before dinner. He lay on the bed, hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. He thought about Kitty and Matthew and how thankful he was that this was going to be a very short trip. He bought a paper to read as he ate his meal but even that distraction didn't stop him from wondering how he was ever able to eat alone before. He missed Kitty and Matthew so much but when he focused on seeing his friends again, especially their reunion with Kitty, it brightened his mood. He was deep in his thoughts when he felt a light hand on his shoulder. He looked up and there was a stunning young woman, blonde, green eyed, seductively shaped, "is this seat taken?"

Matt looked around at a nearly empty room. "Wouldn't you be more comfortable at a table of your own?"

"Truthfully, I'm deathly afraid of sitting by myself being a woman alone and all. I just know no one will bother me if I'm sitting with a big man like you."

A little annoyed Matt motioned to the chair. "Suit yourself. I'm almost finished anyway."

"Well, thank you." She began to remove her gloves and extended her slender hand for him to hold. "My name is Cynthia Wallace. This is my first trip west and I guess I'm just looking for a few friends. Staying here long?"

Ever the skeptic, Matt eyed her closely as he shook her hand, "Matt Dillon and no, I'll be leaving tomorrow."

"Where are you going?

"Mountains."

"Now why would an attractive man like you want to spend your time in such wilderness?"

"I enjoy it."

"Really? A loner huh?" She stared at Matt. "Must get very lonely being all by yourself in the middle of nowhere."

Matt didn't like this intrusion and was hurriedly trying to finish his meal. "I prefer it that way."

"Excuse me for saying this but you act too civilized to have locked yourself away from everything for any length of time." Her eyes surveyed his solid frame. "What was it a woman?"

"What was what?"

"The reason you felt the need to steel yourself away. What happened, broken heart?"

"Nope."

"You can't tell me that a man who is as charming as you never felt the need to be around a woman."

"Miss Wallace, I don't mean any offense but I really don't like people prying into my life, especially those I just met."

"Oh, you are a mysterious one, aren't you Matt?"

"No mystery at all. What I will tell you is that I just came in for a quick dinner and now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way. Good night Miss Wallace." Matt quickly stood and made his way through the dining room doors as Cynthia Wallace watched his every move. She was not accustomed to a man treating her with total indifference and the challenge that Matt presented energized her. The thought that he had been living a monastic life for months made her believe he would be an easy conquest once she applied her wily womanly charm. No man had ever been able to resist her before and she knew that Matt Dillon would not be the first. As the waiter approached her table she smiled and gave him her dinner order then she settled back and plotted her next move.

Matt walked around Denver for awhile and picked up a beautiful birthstone ring for Kitty. On his return to the hotel he passed the bar and decided to stop in for a nightcap; a much needed drink after his dinner encounter. He started to laugh to himself imaging Kitty's reaction to the forward Miss Wallace. It had only been a couple of days but he missed her so. He was looking forward to seeing his friends from Dodge again and especially their reaction when they saw her and the baby. He was running his fingers around the top of his glass with a huge grin on his face when his thoughts were interrupted, "bartender I'd like you to pour this handsome gentlemen another drink." She laid her money on the bar. "And I'll have whatever he's having."

He put his hand over his glass, "that's not necessary I only stopped in for one."

She ran her hand down his arm, "Oh Matt surely a big man like you can handle more than one drink."

"There are a lot of things I can handle but there are times I choose not to."

She stared into his eyes wondering if they were still talking about drinks. She shot him a little smirk, "I bet there's nothing you can't handle and I'm sure you handle everything very well." Her hand continued down his arm and onto his leg. As she began to run her hand inside his thigh he quickly grabbed it before there was any chance he would respond to her touch.

"Good night Miss Wallace. Enjoy your evening."

She again watched as he departed the room more aroused then she was before. She stood for a moment collecting her thoughts and then she left the money on the bar and tried to catch up to Matt. She looked around the lobby but he was nowhere in sight so she decided to go to her room. As she was turning the corner of the hallway she noticed Matt approaching the doorway of his room. As he was looking for his key she walked passed him and stopped at the door next to his. "Well my, my, Matt what do you think the chances are that we would have rooms next to each other?"

Matt found this less than coincidental. "Miss Wallace again I don't mean to offend you but I believe you would be better off finding a man who really wants to be with you."

She thought for a moment as she approached him, "no offense taken Matt because you just don't know you want me yet." She ran her hand down his chest, "I'll let you lie in that big bed of yours and as you remember my touch and remember how long it's been, well, you'll want me. Good night for now Matt."

He walked into the room and locked the door deeply regretting his early arrival. He slipped on his pajama bottoms and got into bed. He was in the middle of a loving dream when he heard banging on his door. He waited a moment then grabbed his robe. He opened the door to find a very frightened Cynthia Wallace. "Oh Matt, someone was trying to get into my room through the window. I was so frightened." She clung to Matt with her head on his bare chest and arms tightly around his waist. Knowing that this was nothing more than a ruse he removed her hands from around his waist and held her at arm's length which he immediately regretted. Her white nightgown clung to every curve of her body and the sheer robe flung open exposing firm milky white breasts. He stared briefly and with his dream fresh in his mind he did all he could to control his response. "Now Miss Wallace why don't I go in and check your windows, I'm sure it was probably the wind. He accompanied her into her room and thoroughly looked the windows over. "They seem locked to me I really don't think you have to worry about anything."

"Matt, I can't stay here alone I'm too frightened."

"You'll be fine. Call me again if you hear anything else." Matt was leaving the room when she grabbed him from behind, "Please Matt, I need you to stay with me."

"I'm sorry but I can't."

"Why?" She opened his robe and ran her fingers down his chest. "Have you been away that long that you've forgotten how to make love to a woman? I guarantee you I can get you caught up in a hurry."

Matt chuckled, "there is no doubt in my mind you're capable of that."

"Then stay." Her hands continued over his stomach and down inside his pants. He quickly grabbed her hands before she could feel his response. She looked into Matt's eyes and whispered, "I want you and I think you want me." She began to kiss his chest and he closed his eyes trying desperately to resist her advances. She reached up around his neck and brought his lips toward hers. As her soft lush lips began to cover his he quickly brushed his lips against her cheek, "Good night Miss Wallace." As he closed the door he heard an exasperated cry and something hit the wood behind him. He opened his door and quickly locked it. He was trying his best to calm down as he took off his robe and got back into bed. He was going home tomorrow and that day couldn't come fast enough.

It was a beautiful sunny day when Matt woke the next morning looking forward to seeing his friends from Dodge again. As he sat at the edge of the bed the events of the previous night haunted him and he was thankful that there weren't any further encounters with the occupant next door. He decided to find a place other than the hotel to eat breakfast even though he felt certain that she had gotten the message after his final rejection still he wasn't taking any chances. He found a cozy little eatery near the station and settled in with a generous helping of eggs and ham. As it approached the time to meet the train he went across the street, grabbed a paper, and sat on a bench to peruse the news of the day. It wasn't too long before he heard, "Now wait a minute Doc I said no such a thing."

"You did too, Newly now tell him."

"Well, Doc I didn't actually hear what he said."

"Fine renege on a bet. I'd expect nothing less from a shifty person like yourself."

"You just be a hearin' whats you want to be a hearin'. I said no such a thing."

"Well it doesn't matter because I'm gonna' catch the biggest catfish that you have ever seen and my reward will be watching your face when I do."

Festus flailed his arms, "Shoot, that ain't never gonna' happen. I was taught by my Aunt Henry Haggen and she is the best fishymen I know. Out fish me, pfst."

"If you're so sure then put your money where your mouth is, like I told you before."

"I don't needs to do no bettin' with you to prove that I'm the best fishymen."

"Yeah, we'll see."

Matt came around the corner, "looks like nothing changes much, does it?"

Festus reached out to shake Matt's hand repeatedly, "Matthew, I'm so glad to see ya. This here old quackedy quack hasn't stopped talking the whole ways out here."

Doc was the next one to shake his hand, "it's good to see you Matt, real good. Oh, and don't pay any attention to what he says."

Newly followed, "I'm going to echo what they already said Marshal. It really is good to see you again."

After their short reunion Matt led the way to the train. They boarded and got themselves settled as their conversation turned to their impending vacation. The train pulled away from the station as Doc noticed something strange, "Say Matt, aren't we going in the wrong direction? Isn't this train going south?"

Matt smiled, "Yep, slight change in plans." Doc looked confused, "I have to admit you were right Doc by the time I came out here four months ago the snow was so high I was stuck in Denver for a few days. I met a man at the hotel who was telling me about a place with great fishing south of here so I was getting bored in Denver and I decided to follow his advice. It is a very different place than where we were going but I think you'll find it as fascinating as I did."

"Quite an endorsement Matt. Where is this place?"

Matt took a deep breath and answered in a low voice, "New Orleans."

Doc shot Matt a look, "interesting place for you to be! The last place I would think you end up would be New Orleans."

Matt just smiled, "Me too but you know you get out on the Mississippi and it's sheer heaven. I've rented a place for us for the month and I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I have."

He could see a small smirk on Doc's face. "I'm looking forward to the Mississippi too Matt. I'm beginning to think that this is going to be a very special experience."

Kitty was upstairs in her office deliberating over two different designs for the restaurant. She had finally narrowed it down to these drawings but she had been staring at both for close to an hour now without a decision. She had lost focus so she decided to make a couple of final touches on the two bedrooms and await the arrival of her good friends. She checked in on Matthew and she smiled as she watched him lying in his crib fascinated with his little hands. She picked him up and brought him downstairs. Maggie was straightening up when she entered the room, "Maggie the house is spotless please sit down for awhile and relax."

"I just want to finish up the living room." She turned back toward Kitty. "What are your friends like Miss Kitty?"

"Well, there's Doc. He doesn't want anyone to know but he is a real sweetheart under the gruff exterior. He was so kind to me when I first came to Dodge." Kitty smiled, "the truth was he was more a father to me then my own. I probably had the closest relationship with him. Festus is a hill man but the kindest most loyal person I know. He'll have many stories about his crazy relatives and believe me they're not too far from the truth. Then there is Newly. Very nice young man, in fact, the first time I met him he saved my life. I think you'll like them all."

"Oh, I'm sure I will. Do you think they'll be home for dinner?"

"I hope so." Kitty headed for the kitchen. "Maggie, do we have any mashed vegetables?"

"I just mashed some squash I think that is Matthew's favorite."

Kitty smiled, "Heaven knows why." She was sitting in the overstuffed chair feeding the baby when she started to feel a little tired. Maggie came into the room and noticed that Kitty was having a hard time keeping her eyes open.

"Miss Kitty you want me to finish here and you lay down for awhile?"

"No, thank you Maggie I'm fine. I guess looking over all these plans have made me very sleepy. I just can't seem to decide on a design. One minute one looks good and the next the other looks good but I know I've got to decide soon."

"You've been working very late the past couple of nights. Maybe you should forget about it for awhile you might look at it with different eyes if you do."

"Maybe you're right. I'll leave it be at least for a few days while my friends are here. Who knows, they may make the decision for me."

A big hello came from the front door as footsteps progressed toward the kitchen. "Well now, look how big he is getting."

"I know I can't believe it myself John. Well, I guess having a father like Matt it's not surprising."

"Indeed! Am I too early? I thought for sure they would be here by now."

"They should be soon. Maybe the train was a little delayed." She held the bowl out for John. "Please take this John; I want to let Matthew play on the floor. He just loves crawling and I know it's just a matter of days before he starts to walk." She stood up but felt a little weak. John noticed and put his arm around her waist.

"You all right Kitty?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Maggie and I were just discussing that I have been working very late the past couple of nights and I think I need to slow down. Once everyone gets here I'll relax."

"That may be but as your doctor I prescribe that you go upstairs and get some rest now. Maggie and I will take care of Matthew." John took the child from her arms, "now go."

"John I'm perfectly fine."

"You let me be the judge of that." He led her to the stairs. "Come on now upstairs and rest."

"OK, but you better come and get me when they arrive."

"Deal, now get going."

They left the train and Matt went to get them a coach. As they made their way to the house all three Dodge men were quiet just taking in the new scenery. John was sitting in the alcove when he saw the coach pull up. He ran into the kitchen carrying the baby and his blanket. "Maggie hold Matthew and stay here until Kitty calls you. I'm going upstairs to wake her." He walked into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. As he gently shook her he stared and smiled. "Kitty, Kitty they're here." She jumped out of bed, straightened her hair and dress, grabbed Matt's wedding ring off the dresser and waited at the top of the stairs until she heard voices in the hall. John stood closely behind her. They stood for a second in the hallway admiring the house as Matt was the last one to enter. As he approached, Doc turned and looked up at him, "Matt, this is a beautiful home. Mind my asking what they are charging you for the month?"

"I really don't know Doc. I don't keep track of things like that."

"Well who then, you've got a partner or something?"

Matt smiled, "I think you could say that."

On that cue Kitty made her way down the front stairs to a sea of smiling faces. As everyone was getting re-acquainted Matt left the hallway. He was clearly upset seeing John following Kitty down the stairs but she was so excited to see her old friends that she didn't notice. "Oh Doc," she hugged the old physician and held the embrace as tears streamed down her eyes. He held her at arm's length grinning from ear to ear as he wiped away her tears, "by golly I knew that tale about fishing on the Mississippi was, well, fishy" Kitty laughed, "it's so good to see you again Doc." She moved over to Festus and gave him a big hug and kiss. "Miss Kitty, if ya ain't a sight for sore eyes I just don't knows what is." Kitty smiled, "Festus it is so good to see you again too." She hugged Newly which took him by surprise. "Newly I'm so glad that you were able to make it too."

"Me too Miss Kitty. I wouldn't have missed this trip for anything in the world."

John was shaking everyone's hands and talking about old times when Kitty turned, "has anyone seen Matt?"

"I'm here Kitty," she turned to find her two men standing in the doorway. Everyone from Dodge was stunned. "Whose that be Miss Kitty?"

Kitty stood next to Matt and stroked Matthew's hair. "This is Matthew Galen Dillon, our son."

"Why you sly fox," Doc made his way over to Matt and shook his hand. He carefully looked Matthew over, "By the age of the baby I'm assuming you didn't go to the mountains with Quint."

"That's right Doc. I wanted so many times to tell you but Kitty thought it best not to let anyone know." Matt put his arm around Kitty's waist and pulled her toward him.

"Why for heaven's sake?"

"Doc, I didn't want any of my friends, or townspeople for that matter, to be threatened by outlaws looking for revenge ever again. I know all of you would have kept the secret but you would have lost your life in the process. I thought the easiest thing to do was to leave and make everyone believe that Matt and I had decided to part ways. That's why Matt came up with this elaborate plan to make everyone think you were going on a wilderness trip. Of course, you are going to have to keep that charade up when you return."

Doc rubbed his hand over his moustache, "maybe not, I just might decide to stay here with my cute little grandchild." He winked at his friends.

"You know you're always welcome Doc." She put her arm around him.

Festus walked toward Matthew. He started to jiggle the baby's belly and make contorted faces which the baby responded to with a fitful of laughter. "Biggy buggey, buggey, biggy."

Doc turned to Kitty, "Honey, you better get him away from my grandchild or the poor kid will be having nightmares!"

"Listen you old sour puss ifn' he's your grandkin' then I'm his uncle."

Doc shook his head, "Can't be."

"Now why can'ts I be?"

"I believe Festus is a man's name, am I right?"

"Of course it is you ninny."

"Then from what you have told us the uncles in your family have female names so I guess that means you'll be changing yours now that you're an uncle."

"Don't pay him any mind little Matthew he's just an old know-it-all that don't know nothin' about nothin'."

"I think Henrietta would be fitting." Doc started to chuckle to himself.

"Oh, now Doc stop," Kitty slapped his arm.

Newly came closer, "he sure is a handsome baby Miss Kitty, Marshal" He held out his finger and Matthew grabbed a hold. "Got a fine grip there too."

Matthew was so excited with all the new faces he didn't know who to touch first. Matt turned to Doc, "would you like to hold him Doc?"

"I thought you'd never ask." Matt handed the baby to his grandpa. Kitty turned and gave Matt his wedding ring and Matt stared at it for a moment before placing it on his finger. She thought that was a little strange but then again he was acting a little strange since he walked in the door. Something was bothering him but it would have to wait until later. The ring did not escape Doc's notice. "Are you two married?"

"Well, I guess that's the other surprise. We got married the first time Matt left Dodge but we had discussed having another ceremony once everyone had gotten here."

Doc shook his head, "this trip just keeps getting better and better."

"Sure you're not upset about the fishing Doc?"

"Matt I don't need anything else but to be holding my grandchild and knowing that you two are husband and wife."

Kitty put her arm around Matt, "neither do I Doc." She smiled up at her husband but his response was half hearted.

"Why don't we all go into the kitchen? I'd like you to meet our housekeeper Maggie." The men followed Kitty down the hall into the next room.

"Maggie, I'd like you to meet Dr. Galen Adams, Festus Haggen, and Newly O'Brien." They all shook Maggie's hand with a "please to meet you."

"Maggie has been more than a housekeeper she has been a very important part of our family. I don't know what I would have done without her."

Maggie could feel herself getting redder by the minute, "Oh, Miss Kitty."

"Well it's true, isn't it Matt?"

"That it is. It wouldn't be the same around here without her." He grabbed Kitty around the waist and pulled her closer again.

"Miss Kitty if you want to sit and talk for awhile I'll let you know when dinner is ready."

"Great idea." Kitty got everyone comfortable and like old times she began to pour the drinks.

After dinner they sat around talking about the good times they had in Dodge. They were laughing so hard tears were streaming down all their faces. It was close to midnight when John rose to leave. "Well, I have rounds pretty early in the morning so if you will excuse me." Doc stood up and grabbed John's hand, "it was so good to see you again my old friend."

"And I you." He turned toward the group, "I have plenty of room if one of you gentlemen would like to stay with me you are more than welcome."

Newly stood up, "Dr. Chapman I'll come with you if it's all right."

"Fine Newly I'll love the company." Both men said their goodbyes to a chorus of "see you tomorrows."

Doc looked at his watch, "well, I think I'll turn in too. It's been a long day."

"Come on Curly, I'll show you to your room."

Matt watched Kitty and Doc climb the stairs and turned to Festus to see if he wanted a refill. "Want another Festus?" He held the bottle and motioned toward the hill man.

"Much obliged Matthew."

After Matt poured both of them another drink they sat silent for awhile. "You have a real nice set up here Matthew and yourn youngin' is the most handsomest baby I'd ever saw."

Matt smiled and he took a sip of his drink, "that he is."

Festus eyed Matt, "ya get another job down here, did ya?"

Matt shook his head, "no, I don't know what I'm going to do yet." He looked over at Festus, "you've been pretty quiet tonight, is there something on your mind?"

"Well, I've been doin' a lot of thinkin' Matthew and ya know ya had the right idea quittin' when ya did. Dodge is a changin' and it really don't hold me no more, not with Miss Kitty and you been gone that's for sure." He took a sip of his drink. "I tolt the new Marshal that I had been a thinkin' of maybe findin' somewheres else to live and that ifn' I'd like it where you were and that maybe I wouldn't be comin' back."

"What did Alex say?"

"He understood all right. Tolt me I was a good man and he was sorry to see me go but ifn' I needed to move on there'd be no hard feelins' or nothin' like that."

Matt shook his head, "in my dealings with Alex he seemed to be a real good man." Matt took a sip of his drink. "So if you don't go back, what were you thinking about doing?"

"Didn't give that any thought Matthew I'd just plum figured I'd stay with you till I done decidin' but that was when I thoughts I was goin' somewheres else then where I am."

Kitty entered the room, "well I got Doc tucked in," she leaned over and cupped Matt's face with her hands. "Anyone else need to be tucked in?" She kissed his lips.

Festus was taken aback by the outward show of affection. "Ifn' you and Matthew needs to be alone Miss Kitty I can,"

"Festus we'll stay up and talk if that's what you want to do."

Festus flailed his arms, "no, now go on. Shoot I'll be fine."

"You sure Festus?"

"I most certainly am ma'am."

"OK, but when you're ready your room will be the only one with the door open."

"Much obliged." He watched as they walked up the stairs then he went to the bottle and poured himself another drink.

Matt sat on the side of the bed while he waited for Kitty to change. He looked over at his sleeping son and smiled. He could feel the mattress move and within seconds he felt a pair of hands rubbing his neck. Her touch always felt so good to him and he could feel the tightness start to disappear. She leaned against his ear and began to nibble, "I'm so glad you're home cowboy. I missed you." He could feel the silky nightgown against his back as her hands made their way toward his waist. Without any response from Matt she stopped and put her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. "What's the matter Matt?"

He smiled, "Nothing Kitty." He then patted her arms. She sat next to him on the bed and he put his arm around her waist and kissed her on the forehead. "Oh, there is something wrong all right!"

He took a deep breath, "why was John upstairs with you when we walked in the door?"

"Is that what is bothering you?"

"A little."

Kitty shook her head. "Matt, I don't know what you think is going on but,"

He held his hand up, "I don't know either Kitty. I'm being crazy I know."

She ran her fingers through his hair. "I had gone up to take a nap and John saw you coming and came to wake me as I asked him to. I suppose he could have come down the back stairs so you wouldn't have known he was up here but truthfully I didn't think it was a big deal."

"No, it's not. I know how much you love me."

"Then what?"

Matt hesitated, "Then what?"

"Matt there is still something bothering you. I can sense it, please tell me."

He leaned his head back and brought it forward as he slowly let the air out of his lungs, "I don't know how," he paused a moment.

"Matt, you're frightening me what happened?"

He put his head in his hands and then rubbed his face a few times. "I was having dinner in the hotel when this young woman came up and insisted that she had to sit with me. She was putting on this frightened act and fortunately I was almost finished dinner so I excused myself and left. Before I turned in I went to the bar and she found me there and wanted to buy me a drink. I again told her I wasn't interested and left. When I had gotten to my room she was coming toward me and, as it turned out, she had the room next to mine." He started to chuckle, "I was in the middle of a dream making love to you when I heard this banging on the door. I jumped up and when I opened the door it was her. She was all upset carrying on about someone trying to come in to her room through the window. She wouldn't let up until I went to her room and checked. As I thought, they were all locked and when I tried to leave she was running her hands down my chest and begging me to stay. I ran out of there as quick as I could and as I closed the door I heard something hit the wood. I didn't hear from her for the rest of the night but I have been pretty unsettled since then." He shook his head, "I don't know why I feel this way."

Kitty sat for a second holding her breath, "Did anything happen?"

"Oh, no, Kitty nothing like that but I, um, well, she came close to arousing me." He looked down, "I'm feeling the same way I did when I came back from the Arizona desert."

"In all fairness Matt you didn't know who you were that time."

"I know but I knew this time and that shouldn't have happened."

Kitty stood and paced before him. He wanted desperately to hold her but he needed her to say something. "I guess I can't fault a woman from finding my husband very attractive," she sat in his lap and played with the back of his hair, "because he is and I love him so." He smiled and gave her a kiss. "And I know how some women can be. The harder the conquest the more they want it."

"She was like that all right! Kitty I tried everything I could to get away from her."

She kissed him but this time with more passion. "She aroused you huh?"

"Almost aroused ma'am." He smiled as he kissed her, "Kitty no woman in the world arouses me like you do."

"Hmm…what do you intend to do about it?"

"I think I'll let my actions speak for themselves."

She whispered in his ear, "I've always known you to be a man of action."

He whispered back, "then you won't be disappointed."

"Never am cowboy."

As he gently covered her body he whispered, "I'm such a lucky man to have found you."

"Never forget it cowboy." She brushed his hair from his eyes, "now, let's just see how grateful you are!"

Trying not to wake anyone Doc crept down the stairs to make some coffee. As he entered the kitchen he saw Maggie starting breakfast. "Good morning."

"Oh, good morning doctor."

"Please call me Doc. Can I help you with anything? Maggie, isn't it?

"Yes it is Doc. No, I'll have the coffee ready in a minute but thank you just the same."

Doc took a seat at the kitchen table, "so how did you get the job here?"

"One day I was in Doctor John's office looking for work when Miss Kitty was there for her appointment. We started to chat and the next thing I knew I was hired." She continued to mash some fruit for Matthew. "I consider myself very lucky."

"Oh, I think Kitty considers herself lucky too Maggie."

Maggie handed him a cup of coffee, "Here you go Doc. Now what do you want for breakfast?"

"I think what I would like is for you to grab a cup of coffee and sit a minute with me and talk."

"OK," Maggie poured herself a cup of coffee and sat across from Doc. "Miss Kitty has been telling me stories about Dodge occasionally. Is it really as wild as it seems?"

"From time to time. We were very lucky when Matt came to Dodge though. He certainly straightened out the town." He took a sip of coffee, "I just wish I could have been the one to deliver their baby but I guess I understand why Kitty didn't want to have it in Dodge."

"She's talked around that subject many times so I didn't fully understand myself."

"Well you see, Matt made a lot of enemies being the Marshal in Dodge and outlaws will stop at nothing to get what they want. So if they couldn't get to Matt they sometimes used Kitty to make their point."

"Did anything ever happen to her Doc?"

Doc looked down at his coffee and shook his head, "Quite a number of times."

"Seriously hurt?"

She could see his eyes glisten with tears, "there was one time I really didn't think she was going to make it. Oh, what those animals did to her." Doc paused a minute to control his emotions, "but Matt came back and stayed with her day and night and miraculously she survived. That was the only time I can remember Matt taking off his badge and going out after an outlaw for vengeance."

"Oh the poor thing. Well, it's plain to see he loves her very much."

"I've never seen two people who love each other more and I can understand why Kitty wanted this to be a secret."

"Maybe that's why she got so sick after she gave birth."

"She was sick?"

"Oh Doc we thought we were going to lose her. The Marshal hadn't come back yet and I was praying every day that he would return soon. It would have been a terrible thing if we had to tell him she was dead when he arrived. I was never so happy to see anyone before in my life." She took a sip of her coffee. "Come to think about it he sat with her for days and just like you said it was a miracle." As Maggie spoke Doc thought about the telegram and it became all too clear what might have happened if he had delayed giving it to Matt just one more day. He could feel the blood drain from his face. "Are you all right Doc?"

"Oh, I'm fine Maggie."

Maggie looked up at the clock, "Oh, I better start getting breakfast ready. What would you like to eat this morning Doc?"

"I think what I would like is for you to have dinner with me tonight."

Maggie turned back toward Doc, "what?"

"Have dinner with me tonight."

"Doc I don't know if I can, I mean, I have to get the dinner ready here and,"

"I've never known Matt or Kitty to ever miss a meal even if it meant they would have to do the cooking." Doc waved his hand asking Maggie to come closer as he whispered, "Believe it or not, Kitty is a very good cook."

Maggie smiled, "In that case doctor I'd like that very much."

"Good." Doc got up out of the chair. "Now, what can I do to help you prepare breakfast this morning?"

Kitty lay awake with Matt's muscular arm lying across her body. She turned toward him and stared at his face. A little more lined and a little more gray now but still the handsome man she fell in love with twenty years ago. She looked at all the scars on his chest and gently touched them as she recalled the history behind each one. History, that's what they had twenty years of the most incredible loving history and a remarkable ability to share everything in their life. She softly ran her fingers down his face as she thought about how grateful she was that he was the most honest man she had ever known. She knew how tortured he was when he returned from the Arizona desert. Doc tried to explain the medical terminology to them but Matt was still so afraid she thought he was deliberately unfaithful to her. Truth be told she was just thankful that he was alive after being away for over six months. Now this young woman in Denver and his admission that he was somewhat aroused by her. Kitty smiled knowing women the way she does and the female wiles they all possess but unfortunately little miss what's her name didn't expect to encounter an honest to goodness man of integrity. She started to gently laugh as she thought about what her face must have looked like when Matt walked out the door. Matt slowly opened his eyes to see Kitty laughing. "What's so funny?"

Kitty tried to tell him but she couldn't stop laughing. "Matt I would have loved to see her face after you closed that door."

Matt started to laugh, "Me too. It didn't sound like she was too pleased.

She kissed him, "I love you so much and I don't want you to worry about this again, OK?" She ran her fingers down his face, "Matt, if you told me you didn't respond to a woman half dressed running her fingers into the nether regions of your body then that I would have found hard to believe."

"You want to try out your theory Mrs. Dillon?"

"Which theory? The half dressed or fingers in the nether regions?"

He ran his hand down her arm. "Well it seems to me you'd have to put clothes on to be half dressed so I guess the fingers in the nether regions theory." He moaned with pleasure as she went about proving her hypothesis!

When Matt and Kitty entered the kitchen they couldn't believe their eyes. "Well, look who finally decided to join us."

Kitty walked over and held her hand to Doc's head. "You feeling all right Doc?"

"Never felt better in my life and, say hey, where is my grandson?"

"He was still sleeping. He was up on and off throughout the night. I think he's getting another tooth. I'll check on him in a little while."

"Never mind, I'll check in on him. Now, what do you want for breakfast?"

Matt looked over at Maggie, "Did you make the coffee Maggie?"

"Yes, I did."

"Good, then that's what I'll have!"

"Chicken, then what about you Kitty?"

"Maybe a couple of eggs. My stomach is a little out of it this morning."

Matt looked over at her. "You all right?"

"Oh sure Matt, I'm fine."

They all sat at the kitchen table when Matt looked around. "Where's Festus?"

"You had to ruin my breakfast didn't you Matt?"

"I was just asking where Festus was?"

"I don't know, said something about looking over the neighborhood. I almost forgot he was here and now you had to ruin it by reminding me."

"What do you want to do today Doc?"

"Anything Matt but I would like to get a chance to play a little with Matthew. Oh, and Maggie and I are going out to dinner tonight so if you know a nice place."

The Dillon's looked at each other as Kitty spoke, "I think that is a wonderful idea Doc. Heaven knows Maggie needs a night out after all she has done for us." She reached out and held Matt's hand and he smiled. Kitty thought she heard Matthew crying, "If you will excuse me our son is calling." She stood and felt a little lightheaded as she grabbed onto the back of Matt's chair. Doc stood and went over to steady her and Matt turned and held her arm. "Kitty, are you all right?"

"I'm fine Matt. I didn't get much sleep last night and for once it wasn't because of you." She smiled and gave him a kiss.

"Are you sure honey?"

"Matt, I'm fine now let me go take care of our son."

Doc followed her to the stairs, "I want to take a look at you. Maggie mentioned something about you being very sick after the baby was born."

"Doc, that's in the past."

"Maybe so but sometimes these things have a bad habit of resurfacing after awhile. Do this old doctor a favor and let me examine you just to make sure. I don't want my grandson without a mother."

Kitty took an exasperated breath then smiled, "OK Doc, if it will make you feel better."

"Well now, yes, it will."

"Then come on Curly, let's get upstairs."

After Kitty has quieted Matthew she laid down in bed. Doc went into the next room and got his bag and the exam commenced. He was poking around checking all her vital signs, "see Doc I told you I'm fine."

"Hush up now, I'll tell you if you're fine." He continued his exam. She got up and mussed up his hair, "My, you're being very thorough today!" She was buttoning her blouse as Doc walked into her changing room and looked at the liquid in the cup. He then returned to his bag and stood over it for a moment. Kitty watched his every move up until he stood stationary over his leather satchel. "Doc?" He turned around and looked at her. "Is there something wrong?"

He walked over to where she was standing, took her by the arm, and sat her down on the bed. "Kitty how long ago did you stop breastfeeding?"

"I still breastfeed Doc just not all the time."

"Have you gotten your monthly since giving birth?"

"No, I haven't but what's that got to do with?" She stopped in mid-sentence as she stared at the old physician.

Doc ran his moustache across his mouth. "Well, young lady, I believe you're pregnant again."


	9. Family, Friends, and Commitments

"Are you sure Doc?"

"You can get a second opinion in case you think these old eyes can't tell."

She took a deep breath, "but I'm not having the same symptoms as I had with Matthew."

Doc took her hand, "honey, all pregnancies are not the same."

Kitty smiled, "obviously!" She sat still for a moment before she put her hand over his, "I wish this could have happened at another time, I have so much to do now."

Doc patted her hand, "Whatever it is can wait. Right now all you have to worry about is this baby."

She placed her hand over her stomach, "Doc, I don't know how I'm going to tell Matt. He wasn't too keen on the idea of having another baby."

"Oh, I find that hard to believe. I see how he adores Matthew and the little guy loves his daddy."

"It's really me he's worried about Doc."

He squeezed her hand, "There is nothing for you or Matt to worry about. John and I are going to monitor you very closely young lady but you have to promise me you will do everything we tell you to." He kissed her forehead, "Now, I think I better get downstairs." He stood up and turned back toward Kitty, "are you coming?"

"No, I think I'll just sit here for awhile. Kinda gather my thoughts."

"OK," Doc grabbed his bag and left the room.

So many conflicting feelings coursed through her as she sat perfectly still on the edge of the bed. She took a deep breath and made her way over to the crib. She looked down at Matthew sleeping peacefully and she placed her hand on her stomach and smiled. She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't hear Matt come into the room. She jumped when he spoke, "everything all right Kitty?"

"Oh, sure Matt." She reached down and softly ran her hand over the baby's hair. "I was just looking at Matthew and thinking what beautiful babies we make."

He put his hands on her shoulders, "Yes we do."

"Matt, you got a minute to talk?"

"Kitty what's wrong?"

She led him to the bed and after both had been seated, "I guess there is no other way to say this but,"

"Say what?"

She paused for a second, "Doc thinks I'm pregnant again."

Matt jumped up off the bed. "You're what?"

"Pregnant."

Matt began to pace the floor running his fingers through his hair. "I thought we discussed this and that you agreed. Matthew would be it for us." He stopped in front of the French doors and looked out at an approaching storm. He rubbed the back of his neck, "what about Matthew? He is still so little how are you going to manage two small children? And what about the restaurant? What are you going to do with that now? Did you think about any of this?"

Kitty stood and walked toward him. She put her arms around his waist and held him tight. "Matt I haven't had time to breathe much less think of answers to so many questions but what I do know is I love you and that it's our love that created this child." She kissed his back, "It was a shock to me too but I know we'll manage just like we always do." His silence was deafening, "Matt please say something."

He turned towards her and held her face in his hands. "I just hope this isn't a mistake."

"A mistake? Are you calling our child a mistake?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying it's just that,"

"You want to know what a mistake is. A mistake is being in love with a man who would think this way. That the nights he made love to me he foolishly thought that the possibility of creating a life could never happen again. That somehow he is blameless and that all the responsibility falls in my lap." She walked toward the bed and quickly turned back to Matt. "Did the thought never cross your mind that we could have another child when you made love to me Matt?"

"Kitty you have to admit we went so many years loving each other without having children."

"Well that's when I was nothing more than your lover and we had to protect the reputation of the sainted Dodge City Marshal but now I'm your wife Matt and we don't have to pretend anymore." She held her hand over her stomach. "I love the fact that I'm carrying your child again and I'm not going to apologize for feeling this way." He walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Kitty, now listen. I'm sorry that you got the wrong impression on what I was trying to say. I love you and I love the fact that we created another life, I really do. My only concern was what having another child might do to you. I don't know what I would do without you honey."

Kitty put her arms around him and lay her head on his chest. "Matt, you'll be here for the birth this time so I know nothing is going to happen to me."

"I wish I could feel that confident." He softly kissed her lips and held her close to him. They stood in the middle of the room holding each other when Matt remembered why he came looking for her. He brought her to the bed and they both sat down. "Close your eyes."

"Matt what is it?"

"Just close your eyes now."

Kitty did as she was asked as he opened the palm of his hand in front of her. "OK, now open."

"Oh Matt, the ring is beautiful."

"Do you like it?"

"I love it!"

"Here, come on, try it on." He slipped the ring on her finger. She turned to give him a thank you kiss. She laid her head on his shoulder and he began to rub her back. They stayed huddled together for a few minutes as they looked over at Matthew. "Matt, I think we both agree that we make beautiful babies."

"Yes ma'am we do."

"And very smart babies."

"I'll agree there too." He began to rub her stomach. "There's just one thing we don't agree on though."

"Oh, what's that?"

"You were never just a lover to me."

"Oh no?"

"And I was far from a saint."

She reached up and cupped his face with her hand, "I don't know. You always felt heavenly to me."

"Oh, is that a fact." He ran his finger down her face.

"That's a fact cowboy." She began to open the buttons on his shirt and softly kissed his chest. Matt smiled and ran his fingers through her hair. Before long Matt tenderly positioned her next to him as his mouth caressed every inch of her body. Matt fell exhausted on the bed, sweat dripping off his skin. Kitty snuggled against him lightly running her fingers along his chest. He looked down at her trying to catch his breath, "I can't believe I didn't know you were pregnant again." Kitty stopped what she was doing and looked into his piercing blue eyes. "Why would you say that?"

"For the last few weeks you just couldn't seem to get enough of me!" He winked followed by a broad smile. "That should have been my first clue."

She hit his bare hip, "Oh you, that's not true."

Matt laughed, "No really it is!" She scrunched up her face. "Oh, I'm not saying I don't like it, I like it fine." He ran his hand down her back.

With head propped up on Matt's chest Kitty looked over at Matthew. "He is amazing."

"Who, our son?"

"Yep, he slept through our argument and our equally noisy love making."

"He takes after his mother in that department. I'm too light a sleeper."

"It does worry me that I won't be able to give him a lot of attention when the baby arrives."

He gently kissed her lips, "I don't want you worrying about a thing, that's why you have me, remember?"

She kissed him and smiled, "I know and I love you for it, among other reasons."

Matt smiled, "Mrs. Dillon I hate to bring up unpleasant thoughts but we can't lie here all day. We have a houseful of guests so as much as I would like nothing more than to have your naked body next to me all day we do have to get dress and entertain the troops."

"Yes sir captain." She gave him a salute.

He ran his lips down her neck, "Just a reminder of things to come."

As Doc was coming down the stairs John and Newly walked through the door. Doc pulled John aside. "Excuse us a minute Newly?"

"Sure thing Doc," Newly continued on to the kitchen.

"John, I need you to do me a favor."

"Anything, you know that."

"I believe Kitty is pregnant again and,"

John looked away, "Oh, I see."

Doc looked over at John puzzled by his odd reaction, "are you all right John?"

He waved his hand, "Oh, Galen I'm fine. I don't know why this news would come as a surprise. They are husband and wife after all."

Doc tugged on his ear, "in any case, I would like you to examine Kitty. I'm a little nervous about this pregnancy considering how sick she became after little Matthew's birth."

He put his hand on Doc's shoulder. "I'll speak with Kitty later. I'm just as concerned as you." He shook his head, "I don't know if this pregnancy is so wise. She's not a young woman you know."

Doc smiled, "That's true but you know something if anyone can have it all, well, it's Kitty Russell!"

"She is something special isn't she Galen." John smiled.

"Very, now how about a cup of coffee?" Doc placed his hand on John's back.

"Sounds good, lead the way."

At the end of the week, Kitty sat waiting for John to come back to his office. The more she thought about being pregnant again the more she hoped that Doc's diagnosis was correct. She never felt as alive as when she was carrying Matthew and now that Matt was home she was looking forward to his sharing this experience with her. If she planned everything well the restaurant renovation would be close to finished when she had her new bundle of joy. She was starting to get impatient waiting for some word when the door opened. "Sorry to have taken so long Kitty. I know that this is very important to you."

"Well, John?"

He sat at the end of his desk and held her hands. "There is no doubt in my mind that you are with child."

"Oh, John!" She stood and gave him a big hug. He held her shoulders and looked into her watery blue eyes. "There is only one thing."

"What's that?"

"You are going to have to take it very easy with this pregnancy. Besides your age I'm still not sure why you had such a dramatic reaction after giving birth. Let your loving husband pamper you and stop trying to do everything yourself. We are all here for you so lean on us; I want you to promise me."

"I promise. Thank you so much John." She kissed his cheek.

He smiled, "now, you better go out and tell Matt that he's going to be a father again."

As she entered the waiting room Matt could tell by her ear to ear grin that it was confirmed. He smiled as he stood and pulled her close. "So, I guess it's true?"

She looked up into his bright blue eyes as she shook her head, "yep, you're gonna' be a daddy again."

He hugged her, "and you're going to take it easy this time, right?"

"Only if my husband pampers me a lot."

He put his lips next to her ear as he whispered, "pampering is a specialty of mine."

She started to laugh, "Don't I know it cowboy!" They left the office arm in arm as John watched from the hallway.

As they opened the front door Maggie, Doc, Festus and Newly were standing in the hall. Doc stepped forward, "were these old eyes of mine right?"

Kitty smiled as she hugged Doc, "I never doubted you or your old eyes!"

They let out a collective yell as they hugged and kissed the Dillon's. Kitty looked over and saw Matthew lying on his blanket in the living room. She picked the baby up, "little man, pretty soon you're going to have a brother or sister to play with." Matthew let out with a huge squeal as Matt approached his son. The baby's arms and legs danced in anticipation of being in his daddy's arms again. "So, you happy about this Matthew?" The baby replied with his infectious laughter and vigorous movements.

"I think this here calls for a celeybration."

Doc stepped toward Festus, "Fine Festus, where you taking us?"

"Well, Doc, I didn't actually mean I was doin' the arrangin'. I was just sayin' that it would be nice ifn' we'd all celeybrate the good news that Matthew and Miss Kitty has." He pointed his finger at Doc, "you know I don'ts have no money to be throwin' a proper celeybration."

"Well then maybe you should learn to keep your mouth shut until you can afford a proper celeybration!"

"Listen ya old skinflint I don't see ya doin' nothin' nice for Matthew and Miss Kitty except hoorain' me."

"Oh, is that what I'm doing, hoorain' you?" Doc chuckled to himself.

"Ya know ya are Doc." Festus flailed his hands in the air, "ya ornery ole scudder."

Kitty shot Matt a look, "Now, why don't we just enjoy a nice quiet evening at home." He grabbed Kitty around the waist.

"Good idea Matthew."

Doc stepped toward Maggie, "In fact why don't you all relax as Maggie and I will see what we can make for dinner tonight." Doc grabbed Maggie by the elbow and led her into the kitchen. Matt and Kitty looked at each other as Festus stood with mouth open. Matt walked over and put his arm around the hill man. "Something wrong Festus?"

He just shook his head, "What'd ya make of that Matthew?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe Doc is thinking about becoming a chef." Festus looked up at him as Kitty walked over, "Festus, Newly, I'm buying. What would you like?"

Later that evening, Matt was putting Matthew down for the night when Kitty entered the room. She walked over to Matt and ran her fingers through the back of his hair. "He had a very busy day."

Matt was holding Matthew's little hand in his, "I think he's going to hate to see everyone leave more than we will."

Kitty turned her back, "Can you undo the back of my dress?"

Matt obliged, "with pleasure ma'am." He put both his arms around her waist as he kissed her neck. "Maybe we should do a little celeybrating our ownselves tonight." Kitty laughed at Matt's attempt to mimic Festus as she walked into the changing room. He quickly disrobed and climbed into bed. He raised his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling. Although not pleased at Doc's original prognosis, he now had to admit he was pretty excited about having another child. It was going to be fun watching Kitty's body change but most of all he was looking forward to seeing his child enter the world. A huge satisfied grin spread across his face as she entered the room pulling the nightgown on over her head. "Kitty, maybe you should skip the nightgown tonight." She pulled it back over her head and laid it down on the bed. She slipped under the covers and Matt turned to pull them off her. He ran his hand over her belly, "It just seems hard to believe there's a life in there."

Kitty ran her hand down the side of his face. "I'll be as big as a house soon then it'll be more believable."

His eyes followed his hand as it move up and down her body which brought a smile to his face, "So what do you make of Doc and Maggie's budding friendship?"

"I think it's cute." She shook her head, "I've never seen Doc so taken by a woman before. I mean, he really resisted Sam for a long while."

"Well, even the most harden man can succumb to a woman when she is the right one."

"Speaking from personal experience now?"

"I wouldn't exactly say I was hardened!"

"No, that's true. You had quite a number of fillies in your stable, some that even followed you to Dodge."

He kissed her left breast, "That was a long time ago. For over twenty years there's only been one filly in my stable. She's the only one I've ever needed."

She smiled as she cupped his face with her hand. "I think your filly needs a little attention." He gave her a sly smile, "OK, got a curry comb?" Her laughter was muffled as he covered her mouth with a passionate kiss.

They lay in the middle of the night, gentle breezes cooling down their heated flesh, too keyed up to fall asleep. Matt softly ran his hand down her clammy back as Kitty nuzzled her face into his neck, leg slung over his. He looked down to see if she was sleeping and smiled when he realized she wasn't. "Honey, you too tired to talk?"

She laughed, "Matt you know it always takes me awhile to fall asleep after you had your way with me."

Matt cleared his throat, "nonetheless, I've been thinking about something."

She picked her head up and looked into his loving eyes as she ran her hand down his face. "What is it my love?"

"I spoke to Festus the other night and I think Alex might have let him go."

"Did he tell you that?"

"No, he's too proud to tell me that but he said he hinted to Alex that he might not return to Dodge and Alex told him not to worry if he didn't." He kissed her as he brushed strands of hair away from her face, "I think he was a little disappointed that I wasn't up in the mountains because I believe there was a strong possibility he had planned to stay with me."

"Then what were you thinking?'

"Well, I know I'm not going to be able to stop you from renovating that building while you're pregnant." She smiled knowing how well he knew her. "So, I thought he could stay here with us and help with the repair. Since you were also thinking about having two apartments over the restaurant I thought when they're finished maybe Festus could have one."

"How do you know he even wants to stay here?"

"I don't but I thought I would offer it to him anyway just to give him something to do until he decides where he wants to go."

"I have no problem with it Matt. As far as I'm concerned Festus can stay here forever."

"Good, I'll talk to him about it in the morning."

She laid her head back down on his chest. She took a deep breath and as his scent permeated her senses she could feel her need for him arise. She began to laugh. He looked down at his giggling wife. "Can I be let in on the joke?"

She smiled, "I believe I just proved your theory."

Matt took her chin in his hand, "and what theory is that?"

"The one where you can tell I'm pregnant."

"Oh?"

She ran her hand down his chest, "I just took a whiff of you and that, well, I'm afraid to say I may need another dose of that curry comb."

Matt laughed, "Oh, so you found that satisfactory, did ya?"

"Every time cowboy, every time." She fell back on her side of the bed naked in the moonlight. Matt stared as he ran his hand down her body and between her thighs. He shook his head, "you do realize that I'm not a young man any more, don't you?" Her answer was barely audible through her soft moans.

The weather was getting a little warmer as the month of May progressed. Kitty had made arrangements at the St. Louis Cathedral down on Jackson Square for an intimate wedding ceremony to take place the last weekend in May. As they had planned they wanted to reaffirm their love in the company of their closest friends. One of the many things she had to do before the big day was to have her wedding dress altered. Mrs. Boudreau was coming out on her porch when she saw Kitty walking up the front path. "Kitty dear how very nice to see you." When Kitty reached the top landing of the porch she embraced the woman, "It is so nice to see you again also."

"How is your adorable little boy?"

"He is getting very big and cuter by the day."

She pointed to the dress on Kitty's arm. "I see you need some seamstress work? That is your wedding dress, is it not?"

"Yes, we're having a ceremony for our friends who arrived a few weeks ago. I thought if you weren't too busy you could take this in a little?"

She looked Kitty up and down and reached out and placed her hand on her stomach. "I hope you are having this ceremony soon because I fear I will be taking it out again."

Kitty looked down at the woman's hand resting on her stomach, "you know I'm pregnant?"

"My dear Kitty one only needs to look at your face to know you are with child. Come, we will make you a beautiful bride again."

Matt pulled up in front of Mrs. Boudreau's with the rest of the Dodge contingent. He was going to pick Kitty up and then they were taking the boys to see the building on Royal Street. He left the coach and walked up to the front door and knocked. Mrs. Boudreau answered and ushered him into her parlor. Kitty stood with her wedding dress on but this time tucked in to display her voluptuous curves. "I'm not sure you should be looking at the mother of your children that way Monsieur."

Mrs. Boudreau winked at Kitty as Matt turned a bright shade of red. Kitty raised her hand over her mouth desperately trying to stifle a laugh. Matt cleared his throat, "Well, yes, um, I'm afraid sometimes I forget that she is more than the woman I love."

Mrs. Boudreau gently slapped his face, "only a man who is so in love would ever blush at such a remark. Kitty you are a very lucky woman to have a man like this so in love with you." She motioned for Kitty to leave the stand. "We are finished here; you can disrobe"

Matt took a deep breath as Kitty approached. She stepped as close as she could to Matt and whispered, "I better watch myself or Mrs. B might try to make a play for my husband." She swatted his rear as she left the room which brought a smile to Mrs. Boudreau's face. Starting to feel very uncomfortable he motioned toward the door. "Would you please tell Kitty I'll be waiting outside?" Mrs. Boudreau laughed as Matt left the room.

Matt helped Kitty into the coach and then quickly sat next to her. "How'd everythin' go in there Miss Kitty?"

"Oh, everything went just fine Festus. I think my husband appreciates my wedding gown even more then before." She wrapped her arms around his and kissed him on the neck.

"Why'd you say that?"

Matt held up his hand. "Can we just skip this conversation?"

Kitty turned back toward the boys. "Matt was just admiring my wedding dress, that's all."

Doc let out a little chuckle, "oh, I bet he was now that it is a little more form fitting!" Doc looked around and mumbled loud enough so everyone could hear, "I certainly hope you had that hat strategically placed!" The coach erupted in laughter as they made their way to the restaurant. They stood on the sidewalk outside of the building as Kitty stretched her arm in the direction of the stone facade. "Well boys, we're here." They carefully walked into the center of the room as Kitty talked about her vision for the restaurant and bar. The place needed work but luckily wasn't too badly in need of repair. She took them to the second and third floor apartments laying out her plans for both floors and then brought the group back down to the first floor. "Well, what'd you think?"

"Those are nice size rooms upstairs Kitty; big enough for a doctor's office."

"You thinking about moving here Curly?"

"Don't tempt me." Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "someone has to look after my grandchild. You'll be too busy with this place and the new baby."

"Well, you know she has me too Doc."

"Yeah I know that Matt but it's only a matter of time before you'll probably find something else to do too. The child's only salvation will be his grandpa."

Matt pulled Kitty to him, "Kitty, I think we better get some kind of lease arrangements together before this old codger goes back to Dodge. It'll be like him to stick us with the rooms."

"Oh, don't worry about me. I will take great pleasure to be a never ending thorn in your side for the rest of your life."

Matt laughed as he put his arm around Doc. "Now, that's the doctor I know!" Kitty looked over at Festus as his eyes surveyed the room. He was a man adrift and his eyes told the story. She went over to the hill man and put her arm around his shoulders. "What do you think Festus?"

"Well, Miss Kitty, I think this will be the purdiest place when its gets fixed up. I thinks it will be even better than the Long Branch."

"Well, thank you Festus."

Matt made his way over to Kitty, "I hate to spoil the party but I think we have to get back to our son before Doc turns us in for neglect."

Doc pointed toward Matt, "I will too!"

"Oh, I know you will Doc!"

They had finished supper and Kitty pulled Matt into the kitchen as everyone made their way to the living room. "Matt are you going to speak with Festus about staying here and helping with the renovation?"

"Yes, I will."

"Well, I think now is a good time. He was looking a little down today when Doc was talking about setting up a doctor's office here."

"I didn't even notice."

"Well, men usually don't." She put her hands around his neck and played with his hair. "Go have a talk with him and don't take no for an answer."

Matt smiled as he held her tight. "You really are something Mrs. Dillon, you know that?"

Kitty smiled, "must be the pregnancy." Matt leaned down and gently kissed her lips. As they lingered in the kitchen a yell came from the other room. "Say, what are you two doing in there? You have company here you know. You'll have plenty of time for that when you're upstairs."

Matt ran his fingers through his hair and smiled, "when we were in Dodge he was constantly reminding me to pay more attention to you and now," Matt let his arms fall to his side, "I can't win."

Kitty let out with a hearty laugh, "You'll win later this evening cowboy." She laid her hands on his chest. "Now let's go entertain our guests." They made their way arm and arm into the next room but when they walked into the living room they noticed that Festus wasn't there. "Where did Festus go?"

"Oh, I think he's sitting on the porch." Doc tugged on his ear, "I'm a little worried about him. He's been too quiet the past couple of days for Festus."

"Well, why don't I go outside and have a little talk with him?"

"That's a good idea Matt."

Festus was rocking away on the porch as Matt approached him. "You had the right idea."

Festus looked up, "Why you say that Matthew?"

"It was getting a little stuffy in there." Matt sat in the rocker next to him and they both rocked in silence. "Is everything all right Festus?"

Festus raised his arms indifferently, "Oh, sure Matthew I just needed to be alone is all."

"Any particular reason?"

"I'z just been a sittin' here thinkin' 'bout what I'm gonna' do when everyone leaves."

"And what are you going to do?"

"Haven't made my mind up yet. Been thinkin' 'bout maybe goin' back home."

"Back home Dodge or the hill country?"

Festus shook his head, "Dodge ain't my home no more. Now I don't know if it's gonna' be old Doc's home no more neither."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, he's a thinkin' about openin' a office here and, well, I thinks he's a little sweet on Miss Maggie inside there." Festus pointed his thumb toward the house.

Matt waved his arm dismissing that thought. "Oh, Festus, he's enjoying her company as he is enjoying all our company. I really don't think Doc is serious about staying here."

"All the same I think I'z have to start thinkin' 'bouts makin' my own way." They continued rocking as Matt eyed his old friend. "So what do you think of the restaurant idea?"

"Miss Kitty is gonna' have a real nice place there Matthew once it gets itself fixed up."

"To be honest with you Festus I'm a little worried."

"Why's that Matthew?"

"Well you know Kitty, pregnant or not, she's going to want to do everything herself."

"That's Miss Kitty all right." Festus answered as he stared out at the street.

Matt leaned closer, "Festus, I need you to do me a favor."

"Anythin' you want Matthew, I'll doer."

Matt ran his hand through his hair. "You see, I'm going to need someone who can watch over the renovation of the restaurant. I'm going to have my hands full with Matthew and trying to keep Kitty from overdoing it and I need someone who I can trust to make sure everything gets done." Matt put his hands up to make sure Festus didn't feel any pressure. "Now I know there are a couple of other plans going through your head and all but it would really put my mind at ease if you would consider staying with us."

Festus stopped rocking and thought awhile. "I don'ts know ifn' I'm cut out for this here city livin',"

Fearing Festus was going to say no Matt interrupted, "I really hope that I'll be able to get you to reconsider,"

Festus put his hand up to stop Matt from talking, "Matthew, you didn't let me finish. I'z was just about to say that ifn' an old friend needs my help then I'd be plum willin' to try it for a littl' while." He turned toward Matt and smiled, "You, Miss Kitty, and now that youngin' in there are family to me. There is nothin' I'z was plannin' to do that can't be put off for some time 'til that restaurant of Miss Kitty's is up and runnin'."

"We think of you as family too Festus and I just want you to know that you don't have to leave after the restaurant is finished. We want you to give some thought to staying in one of the apartments." Matt extended his hand.

Festus took his hand and shook it, "Matthew, it would make me proudsome to stay here but what would I do?"

"Oh, I'm sure Kitty has something planned. So it's a yes?"

"Yes sir I'm a stayin'"

Matt smiled as he grabbed the arms of the rocker, "Well, I better get myself back inside. Do you feel like joining me?"

"You bet ya Matthew."

When they walked into the living room Matt smiled at Kitty and nodded. She patted the empty space next to her as he made his way over. He put his arm around Kitty and pulled her close. Festus made his way over to the chair in the alcove as Doc watched his every move. "I think I'm going to have to examine your vocal chords tomorrow."

"What fer?"

"Cause I don't think I've heard more than five words come out of your mouth in the past three days." Doc started to chuckle, "not that I'm complaining mind you it's just that I think you must have some physical ailment that has been keeping your mouth shut."

"Smartaleck, there ain't nothin' wrong with my vocal chords exceptin' maybe that I ain't wanna' be talkin' to ya."

"Hmm, it's going to be a nice ride home I guess."

"Yeah, it will be Doc cause I ain't gonna' go. I be a stayin' here with Matthew and Miss Kitty whilst the restaurant is bein' fixed up."

Doc gestured toward Matt and Kitty, "You sure you two know what you're getting into having him under foot all day? Oh, and my poor grandchild! I hate to see what he'll be teaching him."

"Never you mind, ya ole scudder, littl' Matthew is gonna' learn a lot of good things from his uncle."

"I'm warning you two don't let him spend too much time with my grandson."

Kitty put her hand up, "Oh Doc, our son loves his uncle and there are many things that Festus can teach him.

"I challenge you to name one."

"Well, patience for one. He's had to put up with you all these years!" Kitty wore a grin from ear to ear.

"Listen here young lady I think that should be the other way around but I'm not about to upset a pregnant woman." Kitty laughed as she stood to refill the drinks.

It was a slightly humid evening as the Dillon's sat on their bedroom balcony holding hands in their wicker rockers. They were both admiring the full moon as Matt rubbed his thumb over the top of her hand, "how are you feeling Kitty?"

"Surprisingly well. I'm certainly not feeling the way I did with Matthew."

"You don't think they've make a mistake, do you?"

"Oh no Matt, ah uh, no, I feel different all right just not the way I felt with Matthew." She paused a minute, "Why, would you be upset if I wasn't pregnant?"

He looked over at her, "yes, I would."

"Not thinking that this is a mistake any longer?" She smiled as he kissed her hand and she could see the devilment in his eyes.

"Nope, I love it when you're pregnant."

"Oh and why's that?"

"Cause I get to love you in so many different ways."

"Is that the only reason?"

He looked her up and down, "Yep, that's about it!"

She jabbed him in the ribs as she smiled, "Oh you, I'm going to bed."

"Not without me you're not!"

"Serve you right if I locked you out."

He grabbed her from behind as he kissed her neck. "Maybe we could get a head start working on some of those different ways I was talking about." Kitty let out with one of her throaty laughs as Matt picked her up and carried her to bed.

The last Saturday in May was a beautiful sunny day with unusual cool breezes wafting off the Mississippi. Matt and Kitty and their friends were standing outside St. Francis Cathedral admiring the striking facade of the building and the tall spires that seemed to reach to the heavens. "Doc, I ain't never seen such a tall buildin' like this before."

"Pretty impressive I'll say that." Then he turned to Kitty as he put his arm around her waist. "But not as impressive as this woman here. You're a lucky man Matthew Dillon and I don't want you to ever forget that."

"Doc, I never will. Now if you will excuse me I have to take my place inside. You won't have any problem bringing Kitty down the aisle, will you?" Matt gave him a sly smile.

"Don't you worry about me; you just make sure you don't forget what you have to do."

"I won't Doc." He moved toward Kitty and gave her a kiss.

Doc swatted his arm, "now don't you know that's bad luck." He grabbed Matt by the arm and pushed him toward the church steps. "Now get out of here and I'll see if I can't undo the damage you've done."

Matt turned back toward Doc, "I'm surprised that a man of science like you would believe in such wives tales."

"You just worry about holding up your end today and never mind about my beliefs."

"Yes, doctor." Matt vaulted up the steps followed by Festus, Newly and John.

The three men stood next to Matt on the altar. Matt had asked Festus to be his best man and it amused Matt to see him so nervous. Newly was admiring the inside architecture of the church as he held a sleeping Matthew in his arms, and John was doing his best to be happy for his friends. Maggie was waiting for the musical cue when Doc approached her. "Maggie, you look," he pulled on his ear, "well, simply breathtaking."

"Thank you Doc." He lingered as his eyes met hers. The trance was broken by the organ notes and Maggie turned to begin the long walk down the church aisle. Doc took his place next to Kitty as she smiled. "There are no words to describe how beautiful you look young lady. I had always hoped that I would be able to give you away someday and I'm so glad that overgrown," Doc laughed to himself, "can't say public servant any more, well, in any case I'm glad he came to his senses."

"I am too Doc." He reached over and wiped the tears from her eyes then gave her his arm. "Shall we go?"

Matt didn't believe he could ever feel more love for her than when they first said their vows but here she was coming down the aisle in this beautiful church, with sweet smelling flowers, lilting music, and on Doc's arm that it took all of his strength to keep the emotion he was feeling at that moment inside. He stepped forward as Doc gently kissed Kitty's cheek and shook Matt's hand. Doc's voice cracked as he spoke to Matt, "you better never do anything to break this woman's heart. She is too precious."

Matt cleared his throat, "Don't worry Doc. I love her more than life itself." He hugged his old friend and Doc took his place in the front pew. Matt took Kitty's hand and they took their place in front of the minister. As they came down the front steps of the church the rice was flying everywhere. As they reached the street Matt stopped and gave his bride a passionate kiss eliciting cheers from the wedding party. They all got into their coaches and headed for the Bourbon House for the wedding celebration. As the day went on and the liquor flowed Doc stood to give a toast. "Before I give my toast today I first want to say Festus, and I sincerely mean this, the toast you gave today as the best man was one of the most finest and heartfelt speeches that I had ever heard. You did a fine job and I just wanted you to know that."

Festus raised his glass, "much obliged Doc."

"Now, it seems like I have been waiting for this day forever. I remember the first day Kitty came to town. Matt and I were walking to Delmonico's for breakfast, and having a very nice conversation too," Doc tugged on his ear, "I don't think I ever told Kitty this but as soon as we walked in the door and sat down at the table across from her, well, I could have stopped talking right then and there for all the attention Matt was paying to what I had to say. Oh, he was very sly about it and I don't think Kitty was even aware that he was staring but I was. I finally had to turn around to see what in the dickens had him so preoccupied and when I did, I'll tell you, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and my good friend was very smitten I can tell you that. In fact, in all the years that I had known him, I had never seen Matt so taken with a woman and believe me there were plenty who tried." Doc paused to gather his thoughts, "I knew right off how special Kitty was to Matt because it took him awhile to get up the nerve to even talk to her alone. You know we'd all be sitting at a table in the Long Branch and Chester would be trying his best to get Kitty's attention but there was no denying that when those two would look at each other there wasn't anyone else in the room. It use to frustrate me watching them flitin' around each other like bees to nectar and trying so hard to keep what they felt for each other a secret," Doc laughed, "even to themselves. Oh, you'd catch glimpses every now and then when they thought they weren't being watched, a squeeze of a hand, a gentle caress, a stolen kiss. I can't count the number of mornings that Matt would suggest we go over to the Long Branch for some coffee, after we had breakfast at Delmonico's mind you, and we'd walk in and they would greet each other as if they hadn't already said their good mornings only an hour or so before." Doc shook his head and chuckled, "That always made me smile and sometimes I'd call them on it."

Matt looked up at Doc sheepishly, "That you did doctor, many times!"

"No, I can't ever recall seeing two people more suited for each other or more in love then these two. And if there was any doubt to the depth of their feeling for one another all you had to do was watch their eyes. You know, it's been over twenty years and they have been through so much but, by golly, the look is still there." Matt pulled Kitty close to him and she looked up and smiled. "It is my privilege to be standing here today and toasting two people that I love very much on their wedding day." Doc lifted his glass, "To Matt and Kitty Dillon may you always be as happy as you are today and may you never have a day of sorrow." They all took a sip of the champagne. Doc was about to sit when he remembered something else he meant to say. "Oh, one thing I almost forgot. I would like to toast my sleeping grandson over there because it was he who finally brought his big lug of a father to his senses!" Everyone at the table broke out into laughter. Kitty ran her hand down Matt's exasperated face as she leaned over and gave him a kiss. When they left the restaurant and climbed into their coaches and headed for home, Doc took a detour and stopped in front of the Chateau Hotel. He turned, "Here you go you two."

"Doc, why are we stopping here?"

"Because it's your wedding night young lady."

"But Doc what about Matthew?"

"Kitty, Maggie and I can take care of Matthew for one night. Your room has been reserved so we'll see you tomorrow."

"But Doc we don't have any clothes and,"

Doc raised an eyebrow, "were you thinking of wearing clothes tonight?"

She slapped his arm, "You know what I mean."

"Kitty, we've taken care of everything. Now, get going and have a wonderful night." Matt took her hand and helped her down from the coach. "Come on Mrs. Dillon it's not often we've been able to get a night to ourselves lately." He put his arm around her waist and she looked up and smiled. "I love you Matt." He leaned down and kissed her, "I love you too. Now, what do you say we get inside and enjoy our wedding night?" Doc watched as the two people he loves most in the world entered the building. He turned to Maggie as he swiped his hand over his moustache, "you know something Maggie?"

"What's that Doc?"

"I'm the happiest man in the world. Now, let's get my grandchild home and put him to bed."

When they opened the door to their room they were greeted by a beautiful bouquet of magnolias, a bottle of champagne, and a change of clothes. Kitty removed her hat as Matt opened the champagne and then handed Kitty a glass. He gently ran his finger down her cheek. "You have always been the love of my life and I can't imagine what my life would be without you. You made me the happiest man in the world when you said you'd be my wife and I will spend every day that I have left showing you how very precious you are to me." He touched her glass and they drank the bubbly liquid. Tears flowed from Kitty's eyes as she spoke. "Matt, from the first day I saw you I fell in love with you. You have been my strength, my courage, my reason to live and I will always cherish you." He leaned down and passionately kissed her. "So, are you ready to begin our second wedding night?"

"Whenever you are cowboy." He gathered her in his arms and tenderly laid her on the bed.

Doc and Maggie arrived back at the house. Festus, Newly and John had decided to stay in town and enjoy a boy's night out. They climbed the stairs to Matt and Kitty's bedroom and Maggie changed Matthew into his pajamas. The baby was smiling with hands and feet in constant motion. "By golly, I don't think I have ever seen a happier baby!"

Maggie looked up, "and a good baby! Not many babies would have been that quiet during the ceremony."

"I'll let you in on a little secret Maggie; he's just like his father. Matt used to take little naps all the time back in Dodge."

She picked the baby up and handed him to Doc. "Maybe you would like to play with him awhile?"

"You just hand him over to me. Come here little fella," Doc rocked the baby in his arms. "I can't believe how much he favors Matt."

"He's a handsome little boy all right." Maggie brushed his thick brown hair off his forehead. "I'll get his bottle Doc I'll be right back."

Doc walked back and forth with Matthew in his arms. "You know how lucky you are little guy? Well now, why don't I just sit down here and tell you a little story. Once upon a time in a place far, far, away there was this big man who's job it was to keep the peace in a wild and dusty town called Dodge City. The only problem with the big man was he thought that being married and having little babies like you was not very important." Matthew's gaze was now focused on Doc. "This big man was a very handsome man and so many young ladies came from miles around trying to get to know the big man but no matter what these young ladies did they soon realized that they couldn't penetrate the big man's steel resolve about marriage. Then one day a beautiful redheaded woman came to the wild and dusty town and the big man couldn't take his eyes off of her," Doc chuckled, "and lucky for him she couldn't take her eyes off of him either. So they went through many months just staring at each other and making small talk as their closest friends watched. The beautiful redhead was more than just beautiful she was also a very smart young lady and one day she became a partner in the most successful saloon in the west. Eventually she became the owner and that saloon became even more successful." Doc took Matthew's little hand and shook it. "She was really something and the big man, well, he was very proud of her. One of the responsibilities of the big man was to track down very bad men and bring them to justice so he was gone a lot which upset the beautiful redhead. Sometimes when she would get very lonely she would vow to leave that wild and dusty town and the big man but thankfully something always made her stay. So instead she would wait and worry about the big man until he came home again. Years and years had passed and the big man still left town a lot and the beautiful redhead stayed and worried. There was also a very wise gentleman in the wild and dusty town who thought the big man was very foolish. You see this wise gentleman was also a very good doctor and the big man was always being shot or stabbed or beaten and the doctor kept him alive against all odds." Doc leaned closer to Matthew and whispered, "Your grandpa is a miracle worker! Anyway, the beautiful redhead would worry even more whenever something like this would happen to the big man and she would go to her room and cry. One day she had decided that the time was right for her and the big man to be married and to have little boys just like you." Doc tickled his stomach as Matthew broke out in a little laugh. "But the big man didn't agree so he kept getting shot and stabbed and beaten and spending weeks and sometimes months away from the wild and dusty town and the beautiful redhead was getting very restless. Thankfully the wise gentleman was there to talk to the beautiful redhead and convince her how much the big man really did love her but the beautiful redhead wanted so badly to have a little boy like you before she got too old. I wouldn't have blamed the beautiful redhead if she had left that wild and dusty town but she loved that big oaf so much she decided that no matter how long it took she would wait for the big man to finally wake up and marry her. One day the big man was having coffee with the beautiful redhead in the saloon and a bunch of really bad men were robbing the bank and when the big man stepped out to stop them they shot him in the arm. The wise gentleman tried very hard to fix the big man's right arm but he didn't have any feeling in it at all. You see, the big man needed his right arm to perform his job so one morning the big man decided that since he couldn't protect his friends and he didn't want anything bad to happen to them, especially the beautiful redhead, he was going to leave the wild and dusty town. That decision was very upsetting to the beautiful redhead because she wanted them to start a new life together but the big man didn't think that was such a good idea. As always the big man foolishly left town and the beautiful redhead stood watching until the big man's horse turned the corner and was gone from sight. Well, the beautiful redhead was devastated and thought about leaving town too since life in the wild and dusty town wouldn't be the same without the big man but then a funny thing happened. The big man missed the beautiful redhead and all the time that he was out in the wilderness he could think of nothing else but seeing her again. So late one night, when the wild and dusty town was very quiet, the big man stood in the doorway of the beautiful redhead's saloon and waited for her to respond. Needless to say the beautiful redhead was very happy and kissed and hugged the big man and welcomed him home." Doc cleared his throat, "Well, they kissed and hugged and hugged and kissed all night long and you know what happened? The beautiful redhead had that little boy and the big man and the beautiful redhead lived happily ever after." Doc smiled as Matthew's little eyes slowly closed. He carefully stood and placed the child in his crib. "Sleep tight little one."

"That was quite a story doctor. I guess I'm not going to need this." Maggie lifted the bottle.

"How long were you standing there?"

"Oh, around the time the big man was very lucky to have such a fine doctor."

"Well, that's true, you know." Doc smiled. "Hey, I'll tell you what. Let's put the bottle here just in case I'm not a very good storyteller and I'll go downstairs and pour us a couple of drinks out of our favorite bottle and we'll sit out on the veranda, that's what you call it down here, isn't it?"

"Yes doctor and that sounds fine to me."

"OK then. You make yourself comfortable outside and I'll get the drinks."

Doc stepped out on the porch and handed Maggie her drink and sat next to her. "Beautiful night isn't it?"

"It was a beautiful day doctor."

"You're right about that Maggie. I still can't believe I actually saw those two get married."

"So you said in your toast and your bedtime story."

Doc sipped his drink, "It was frustrating to watch, I'll tell you that."

"It's also hard to believe seeing them now. They are such a loving couple."

Doc looked over at Maggie as she took another sip of her drink. "You will stay with them, won't you Maggie?"

"As long as they'll have me!"

Doc reached over and patted her hand, "Well, that's good. I'm glad to hear it."

"What about you doctor? How long are you going to stay?"

"I wish you would be less formal and either call me Doc or if you prefer Galen."

Maggie took a sip of her drink, "interesting, did your parents have a premonition that you were going to be a doctor when they gave you that name?"

Doc smiled, "that's a good question. I personally think they just liked the sound of the name but maybe subconsciously I felt it was something to live up to." He took another sip of his drink. "I'll probably head back in a couple of weeks." Doc sighed, "I wish I had a permanent replacement back in Dodge because my family is here now and I would like to live out my days with them." He ran his hand over his moustache, "I'm gonna' hate to leave that adorable child, I'll tell you that but I'll be back very soon. I really want to be here when Kitty gives birth."

"Oh Galen I hope it's an easier birth than her first."

"Well, the difference will be Matt and I will be here this time. I have a feeling that Kitty was very worried about Matt the first time around and that might have complicated her delivery."

"You are right about that, she did worry about him. She wanted him there so badly."

"Well, as always, he was out tracking down some guys who robbed the bank when the telegram came so that's why he was delayed."

"Thankfully he did get here when he did. Galen she needs him so."

"Oh, don't let Kitty fool you, she's a very strong woman when she needs to be but she loves him that's for sure."

"Are you thinking about moving here some day?"

"As much as I'll enjoy the peace and quiet with Festus staying here it will be very lonely in Dodge now that it will only be Newly and me. Unfortunately not many men want to have the doctoring responsibility for hundreds of people who live a great distance from each other. Especially since most of the time you receive payment in livestock or vegetables but I'm going to do my darnedest to find someone so I can come here to stay."

"I know that will make Matt and Miss Kitty very happy." She took another sip of her drink, "and me."

Doc turned and smiled, "I was hoping you felt that way." He reached over and held her hand. "I would really like to get to know you Maggie."

Maggie returned his smile, "I want to get to know you too Galen." As the night progressed they sat holding hands, slowly rocking back and forth, each deep in their own thoughts.


	10. Dreams Fulfilled

The sun's rays were peeking through the small opening in the curtains creating a slim bright line on the dark rug leading to the bed. Kitty slowly opened her eyes and smiled as she glanced at her sleeping husband. She carefully leaned over and softly laid her arm across his bare chest and gently rested her head on his shoulder. She was the luckiest woman in the world to be married to such a wonderful man, a man who had made all her dreams come true. Life far exceeded anything that she could have ever hoped for and she knew their life would just get better from here. All the arguments, the hurts, the loneliness, the doubts, and most of all the worry that plagued her in Dodge seemed so far away now. Matt was her husband and father to their children and she knew they would be able to withstand the test of time. She lay against his warm skin as the cotton sheets offered a cool contrast softly caressing her back. She was starting to drift off to sleep when she felt Matt start to stir. The man who captured her heart twenty some odd years ago was looking down at her with those beautiful blue eyes and a warm smile. "Good morning."

Kitty smiled back, "Matt I was trying not to wake you."

He ran his hand down her back, "Why was that?"

"Oh, I don't know, just thought you might want to sleep a little later today." She straddled his leg and moved so her body partially covered his.

Matt looked down at Kitty, "don't think I'll be getting much sleep after that last move but nice try anyway."

"Well, you were up, um, I mean awake weren't you?"

"You were right the first time!" He smiled as he kissed the top of her head and then his eyes glanced at the clock on the wall. He let out a resigned sigh, "I guess we better get on home."

"I hope Matthew didn't make a fuss last night."

"Oh, I'm sure Maggie and Doc handled him fine." He raised her face and gave her a kiss. "Kitty I don't think you have to worry, he really is a good baby."

"I know I'm being foolish."

He kissed her again, "No, you're just being a mother." He stared into her eyes and ran his fingers through her hair. "Do you suppose we have a few moments to say a proper good morning to each other?

She looked him up and down, "you think that's all you need is just a few moments?"

"I can make the morning last if you want to make it worth my while."

Kitty ran her hand gently across his chest with a twinkle in her eyes, "and what exactly would I need to do?" Matt threw her back on the bed and covered her body with his as her laughter resonated throughout the room.

Doc passed the master bedroom and looked in on Maggie and Matthew who were still sleeping soundly. He had just finished checking Festus' room but the hill man's bed didn't appear to be slept in so Doc assumed he stayed at John's. He tiptoed down the stairs and walked to the kitchen and started the coffee. He sat in the overstuffed chair as he waited for the pot to boil. He looked around the room and smiled as he thought about his two good friends and the long and rocky road that had gotten them to this place. It was just a few years ago that Matt was still so stubbornly holding onto that badge and Kitty was getting very restless, so much so that she almost married another man. There were days when Doc felt pretty sure that Kitty wouldn't go through with it but then there were days he feared she might. It all started with that vacation. Doc put his head back on the top of the chair as his memory brought him back to that day. He had gone in for a cup of coffee at the Long Branch and Kitty was in an exceptionally good mood. After some prodding she told him that Matt had surprised her with tickets to St. Louis. He was in the middle of a trial but once that was over he had promised to whisk her off to an idyllic two week vacation. A foolish promise to Doc's thinking since Matt had been through enough trials to know that more times than most they had appeals. Maybe in his haste to make amends to Kitty for disappearing for months in the Arizona desert he agreed to whatever she wanted instead of reasonably planning their departure. All Doc knew was this trip was very important to Kitty and was probably the reason she was so upset when it was interrupted. He had never seen her so furious with Matt before. She barely said two words to him in the office and she sat in with Will what seemed like forever. He remembered how mad he was at Matt at first but then as he looked over at his friend and saw the distress he was in as he patiently waited for Kitty he felt it wasn't the right time or place to further add to Matt's angst. Thankfully Will decided to leave town and once again they could get back to their normal lives. He stood to pour a cup of coffee for himself and Maggie then he made his way up to the master bedroom. He put the cups down on the table and gently sat on the edge of the bed. He looked down at Maggie and thought about his life and how nice it would be to wake up next to someone who he loved. His thoughts then turned to Sam. It seemed like every lonely moment he would wonder what his life would have been like if she had lived. As much as he looked on these memories fondly he couldn't help but question whether it was really love or her imminent death that made him so willing to change his life after being alone for so long. Doubt gnawed at him for years but with Maggie he might have a second chance at love. From the moment Kitty introduced them he felt so comfortable around her that he wanted to spend as much time with her as he could. It was going to be hard enough leaving his good friends in a couple of weeks but he was pretty sure he would miss Maggie as well. He had this fool notion to kiss her good morning but instead he gently moved a couple of strands of hair off her face and softly shook her arm as he whispered, "Maggie, Maggie."

She slowly opened her eyes and smiled, "what time is it Galen?"

He reached for his pocket watch and flipped it open, "Oh, about ten."

"I better get up. Matt and Kitty will be coming home soon."

Doc grunted, "I wouldn't bet on it!"

Maggie smiled. "Why do you say that?"

"Because I know Matt. He's gotten real lazy since he decided to be a husband and father." Doc smiled, "besides I'm sure they didn't get much sleep last night." Doc grabbed Maggie by the arm. "Now come on, let me help you up so you can have a cup of coffee."

Maggie looked down and shook her head as she realized she was still in her dress from the night before. "I swore I was going to lie down just for a moment last night while Matthew fell back to sleep." She peered over at the crib. "Is the baby still asleep?"

"I heard him stirring a little before but so far,"

"Then why don't we have our coffee out on the porch? It seems like a nice day."

"That's a wonderful idea Maggie. Besides I would love to see Matt's face when he finds us sitting out on the master veranda."

They both smiled as they made their way outside. They sat down in the rockers and Maggie took a sip of the steaming liquid, "Galen this is wonderful. Where did you learn to make such a great cup of coffee?"

He rubbed his hand over his moustache, "living alone I guess."

Maggie eyed the doctor, "excuse me for asking Galen but, um, did you plan on being alone?"

"I came close once," he tugged on his ear, "but between medical school, the war, and establishing my practice in Dodge I guess I didn't have much time to think about courting much less actually court." He took a sip of his coffee. "Besides most of the women who came to town were either already spoken for or were entirely too young."

"Like Miss Kitty?"

Doc chuckled, "like Kitty all right. You know I use to propose to her at least once a month," Doc turned toward Maggie and waved his finger to bring her closer as if to let her in on a little secret, "and I think I could have had her too but then that big overgrown public servant would walk in and she'd forget about me in a heartbeat." Doc shook his head, "I don't know what she ever saw in him and what he had that I didn't have."

Maggie was laughing, "I don't know either Galen." She took another sip, "you are all so very close."

"Well, we spent a lot of time together. There wasn't much to do in Dodge most of the time."

"I'm glad you all came down to visit. I know it meant a lot to Miss Kitty. I don't know how she was in Dodge but I know she is so happy here."

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "I have never seen her happier."

Maggie took another sip of coffee, "I guess being in love with the right person can do that for you."

Their eyes met and locked for a few seconds. Doc cleared his throat, "yes, I guess that's true." Doc looked away, "I give Matt a hard time but they don't come any finer," Doc stopped talking and listened. "Is that the baby?"

"I believe it is."

They stood and entered the room. Matthew was standing in his crib flexing his knees as his body bounced up and down. As they approached he had a big smile on his face. "Getting your morning exercises are you son?" Doc reached out and lifted him out of the crib. "Maggie, I think he may need to be changed."

"Lay him on the bed Galen, I'll change him."

"Maggie now, you just grab me a diaper and I'll take care of the changing." She brought Doc a diaper and a change of clothes for the baby. Doc deftly handled the chore and they all made their way downstairs. As they approached the first floor Festus came through the front door. "There be my nephew."

Doc pulled Matthew closer to him and stepped back, "you still smell from last night." Doc waved his hand, "go on and get cleaned up before you play with the baby."

Festus looked down at his body, "Doc, now I don't be smellin' that bad."

"That's certainly one man's opinion." Doc raised his voice, "now get upstairs."

"All right you grouchy ole scudder," Festus pointed his finger toward Doc, "but I'll be down faster than you can say rat run over the rooftop with,"

Doc put his hand up, "we all know about the rat Festus just go freshen up." He quickly ran up the stairs with spurs jangling. Doc turned toward the kitchen as Maggie began to make breakfast. "You think Festus ate anything or should I put something on for him too?"

"Knowing Festus the way I do even if he did he will certainly want another meal. I'd add a little extra." Doc stood Matthew on his thighs as the baby continually jumped up and down to his own amusement. "Maggie I swear this baby will be walking soon. He certainly doesn't get this energy from Matt!"

"Galen, I still say you're too hard on Matt."

"Oh, he can take it." Doc thought a minute, "Isn't Matthew's first birthday coming up?"

"Yes, in another couple of weeks." Maggie turned toward Doc, "I hope you'll be able to stay, I'm sure Matt and Miss Kitty would love having you at his party."

"I wouldn't miss it!" Doc stood holding Matthew, "I think I'm going to let him do a little exploring inside. Holler if you need any help."

"Have fun Galen. I think I can manage here." She smiled as she watched him disappear into the next room.

Matt was gently stroking Kitty's back when he again noticed the time. "Honey, I think we have to give some thought to going home soon."

"I know Matt but can we just lie here for another couple of minutes. We're not going to get much of an opportunity to be alone like this again for awhile especially once the baby comes."

Matt smiled, "well, if you'll just stop having babies,"

Kitty poked her head up and looked into his mischievous blue eyes. "I suppose you think you're funny?" She poked him in the side.

"Ow," he grabbed her hand. "Yes, I do." He started to laugh knowing how hard she was trying to suppress her laugher.

"Serve you right if we wind up having twelve kids."

Kitty began to leave the bed as Matt smothered her against the sheets. "And I would love every one of them." He gave her a sly smile, "don't know if I would remember all their names though."

She couldn't contain herself any longer as she gave in to a hearty laugh. Matt pulled her on top of him. "I love you Kitty."

She leaned back to stroke his face, "I love you too Matt." His eyes focused in on her voluptuous breasts. "You know, maybe you're right. We should take a few more moments to be alone."

She leaned back further in disbelief, "and why the change of heart?"

"Hmm, let's just say I have two very good reasons." Kitty smiled as Matt's lips made his case.

Matthew was crawling on the floor when he noticed the chairs in the alcove. Doc followed behind allowing the baby space to explore but close enough to keep him from any danger. He slapped the legs of the chair a few times as if to test their sturdiness and ran his eyes to the seat as if to gage the feasibility of standing against it. Doc watched with amusement as he pulled on the legs and got to his knees. He studied his next move very carefully and with his long torso Doc knew it was only a matter of seconds before he would be standing. With fierce determination in his face he grabbed part of the arm and continued to pull the rest of his body up on to his feet. Matthew slapped the seat of the chair with both hands as his chest rested against the seat. He was clearly so happy with himself but not half as much as Doc. The good doctor remained quiet to watch his next move as his little legs attempted to move to his right. Without warning Kitty came around the corner and yelled, "Matthew!" Her voice startled the baby and he lost his balance and fell back on the area rug. Stunned, Matthew started to cry and Kitty immediately ran to pick him up. "It's all right Matthew, mommy's here."

Doc looked at her with a disgusted face. "Kitty, Matthew was doing just fine until you scared him."

"I scared him! Doc he was standing all alone. He could have fallen."

"Which is exactly what he did because of your shout!" The baby's cries were subsiding as he reached for the floor begging to be let down. Doc looked at Kitty, "as you can see he wants a second crack at that chair."

"Oh, so you're an authority on raising children now?"

Doc shot Matt an exasperated look. "Matt, will you please tell your wife that her son will be taking many more falls in his life and she can't be there all the time to comfort him?"

Matt raised his hands, "Oh, no, Doc. You're doing just fine. I'm still on my honeymoon, you know."

"I figured you wouldn't be of any help. You always had a one track mind!"

Matt smirked as Doc turned back to Kitty, "Kitty let the boy down and we'll sit and watch him. I think he is very close to taking his first steps which I'm sure will be a momentous day for his parents." Doc rubbed his hand over his moustache. "And the final day that either one of you will get any rest." Doc laughed. "You'll be spending most of your days following him all around the house!" Not finding Doc that funny Kitty let Matthew down on the rug. Matt came up behind her and led her to the couch as Doc stayed in place. Matthew immediately went for the chairs in the alcove and grabbed onto the leg of the chair. Within seconds he was standing slapping the seat of the chair with both hands again so proud of himself. Matt looked down at Kitty and smiled as he took her chin in his hand and kissed her lips. Doc whispered, "cut it out you two and just watch." Matt jutted his lips out in a pout as Kitty smiled then she turned her eyes toward Matthew. The baby started to move to his right until he got to the end of the chair. He looked around at Doc and gave him a big smile. Doc walked behind him and the baby changed body direction but held on to the seat with one hand. Doc stepped two steps away from him and stretched out his hands. He wiggled his fingers, "can you come to grandpa, Matthew?" The baby looked up at Doc and then to the floor. As if calculating the distance between them he stared back and forth between the floor and Doc. Matt and Kitty stood to get a better view as Matthew moved his two little legs quickly into Doc's waiting arms. He squealed with joy as Doc picked him up and joined in his excitement. "Did you see that you two? Your son took his first steps." Kitty reached for Matthew but he was too preoccupied with trying it again to even notice his mother. "See what you started Doc?" Kitty smiled, "He wants no part of me now." Doc placed Matthew back on the floor and he scurried over to the chair. Doc turned and patted her on the shoulder, "oh, have no fear Kitty, Matthew will always need his mother."

As dawn neared Matt was awakened by a low squeaking noise. He opened his eyes listening very intently lying perfectly still trying to discern where the noise was coming from. When he realized it was coming from his left he carefully sat up in bed and gained his bearings. He slowly walked toward the sound and in the dim light he could see Matthew holding on to the bars of his crib and walking side by side oblivious to his father standing near. Matt smiled as he made his way back to bed. He slid his body against Kitty's and moved the hair off her face and tenderly kissed her neck. He glided his lips over her ear and whispered, "I think we need to have a talk with our son and explain the rules about not waking his parents up when they are trying to get some sleep."

Kitty sleepily turned in Matt's direction as she yawned. "It's not my son who needs talking to. Seems his father could use a refresher course on the rules himself."

Matt smiled as he rolled the straps of her nightgown down her arms exposing her upper torso. His lips followed the silky material down her skin and his soft kisses sent pulsating sensations through her body. In between her increasing moans she heard a low squeaking noise. "Matt, what's that sound?"

Matt looked up, "Kitty, if I'm not mistaken that's just how you show your approval for the masterful lover I am."

"Matt I may make many sounds, some I'm not even sure I knew how to make when you are your masterful self, but squeaking is not one of them!"

He kissed her breast and then he smiled. "Oh I don't know, there was a time or two you let out with this strange,"

She playfully hit his bare arm, "Matt, I'm serious, where's that noise coming from?"

"It's what I was trying to tell you. Our son has been pacing back and forth in his crib practicing his walking." Matt continued to kiss her neck as his hand roamed her body. "Kitty, Matthew is being very good about letting us, well, have our time together this morning so let's see if we can make our own squeaking noises."

"Matt, I don't want him to see us, well, you know."

"Kitty the room is still pretty dark besides the child can't possibly know what we're doing and believe me he is so wrapped up in his own little world right now he is not paying one bit of attention to us." Matt held Kitty's face in his hand and gently kissed her lips but he could see she was still not comfortable. "What if I just give you a back rub this morning?

She stared up at him and smiled. "You know as well as I how that will end."

Matt smiled, "I'll make an extra effort to just give you a back rub this morning so you can just relax, OK?

Matt moved his back against the headboard and Kitty got up and sat between his legs. He began to massage her shoulders and she could feel all the anxiety that she was feeling a moment before wash away. She laid her head back on his chest and Matt could feel she was limply leaning against him. "Oh Matt, this does feel so good."

"I'm always here to please, you know that don't you?"

"I know cowboy and I appreciate it." The more his hands kneaded her skin the more she needed him. She tried so hard to control that sensation but his touch always created that stir within her which she was finding harder and harder to ignore. Matt was surprised when Kitty turned toward him and straddled his body. She clasped his head in her hands and softly kissed his lips. "Kitty, is everything all right?"

She smiled, "well, I'll let you know." She kissed him again, "now, what were you saying about being masterful?"

"Not worried about Matthew anymore?"

Kitty put her hands on her hips, "are you going to make me beg?"

A broad smile lit Matt's face, "no, ma'am."

The house was abuzz with the preparations for Matthew's first birthday. The baby on the other hand was oblivious to it all as he was more preoccupied concentrating on perfecting his walk. Maggie was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the cake and Kitty was gathering all the ingredients for the birthday dinner. "Miss Kitty, I just can't believe that it's been one whole year since the baby was born."

Kitty turned toward her and chuckled, "I just don't know where the time goes."

Maggie turned her head in Kitty's direction, "I'm glad that everyone decided to stay to really make this a very special day."

"Me too." Kitty stopped preparing the food and sighed, "I don't want to think about them leaving at the end of the week."

"I don't like the idea of it either." Kitty looked over at Maggie and smiled.

The men were in the front room taking turns catching Matthew as he navigated his way from one to the other. "I tell you Matthew that there youngin' of yourn is the smartyest littl' youngin' I done every saw."

Doc pointed his thumb in Matt's direction and smirked, "we'll he doesn't get those smarts from him, that's for sure!"

As he caught Matthew Newly turned to Matt "Marshal he is also the strongest little boy I've ever encountered."

Matt looked over at Doc, "what? No smart remark at what Newly had to say?"

Doc just smiled as he tugged on his ear, "no, but if you feel slighted I can try and come up with something."

Matt caught his son as he came crashing into legs. "Is the good doctor at a loss for words?"

Doc chuckled, "no, just thought I'd give you a rest but if you insist,"

Kitty entered the room, "So, who would like a drink before dinner?"

"See there, just when you start to get yourself in trouble your wife bails you out…again." Doc shook his head, "You are one very lucky man Matthew Dillon to have such an intuitive woman."

"Matt, are you giving Doc a hard time?" The men looked at each other then began to laugh as Matt just shrugged in resignation.

John entered the room as Kitty was dispensing her last drink. She looked over at the tired doctor, "I know exactly what you need," she poured him a tumbler of bourbon and handed it to him. "You look very tired John."

"Oh, I am Kitty, I am. It's been a long day but I wouldn't have missed the opportunity to celebrate Matthew's first birthday." She gently rubbed his arm and smiled. Matt eyed the exchange but Matthew distracted him enough from dwelling on it.

They dined on roast chicken, Maggie's world famous mashed potatoes, glazed carrots and homemade biscuits. The wine was flowing and the mood was getting increasingly jovial. Matthew was desperately trying to get out of his chair and was growing impatient under his very confining environment. Kitty looked at the baby and then to Matt, "I swear your son hates to sit still."

"Oh, he's my son now?"

"When he behaves badly, yes he is" Kitty smiled and ran her hand down Matt's face.

"He certainly loves to walk that's for sure," Matt smiled as he pushed the hair off of the baby's forehead.

Maggie came in with the cake and the group sang a rousing chorus of happy birthday. He was so excited and his little arms and legs tried desperately to keep time to the singing. He slapped the tray in front of him and squealed with unabashed joy. Kitty cut him a very small piece of the chocolate cake and placed it in front of him. Matthew stuck his finger in then slowly pulled the digit out of the dark brown goo. He stared for awhile with a very perplexed look on his face wondering what to do next. He cautiously raised his finger toward his mouth and extended his tongue to meet the small mound of chocolate. The sides of his mouth broke into a satisfied smile thrilled by the taste of the sugary sensation. Without a doubt he knew he wanted more so he quickly brought his hand down on the remaining piece and tried to stuff as much of it in his mouth as he could. Everyone at the table watched with utter amusement as Matthew went about dismantling his share of birthday cake. Maggie brought in the coffee and continued cutting the rest of the cake as Kitty tried to prevent Matthew from choking on what was left in his hand.

Kitty was in the midst of her evening ritual as Matt laid Matthew down in his crib. The baby was still too excited from the evening event and immediately popped back up dancing in place. Matt smiled and shook his head. "You are amazing son but you have to go to sleep now." Matthew fussed a little as Matt tried his best to get him to lie down but as soon as Matt would turn away Matthew would defiantly stand. "What am I going to do with you son?" Matthew extended his little arms imploring his father to pick him up. As Matt turned to decrease the light in the room he thought he heard something. He quickly looked at Matthew who was still standing with his arms extended. Thinking he imagined it, Matt started to walk away but then he heard it again. "da da." Matt broke out in a huge grin and swiftly grabbed the baby up into his arms and ran to Kitty. "Honey, Matthew just called me."

"What?"

"He just said da da."

"Matt are you sure? You know how he just babbles."

"Kitty I know he said it. Come on Matthew say da da for daddy." Matthew looked at both his parents staring at him and started playing with Matt's face. After careful scrutiny he placed his little fingers over Matt's lips, "da da." Matt turned to Kitty, "see, he knows I'm his daddy, honey he knows who I am!"

Kitty began to play with Matt's hair, "of course he knows Matt and he also knows what a lucky little boy he is to have you as his father."

Encouraged by Matt's excitement Matthew kept repeating his new phrase. Matt kissed his cheek and tried again to put him down for the evening in his crib, "well now, your daddy says you have to get to sleep. We'll practice my name tomorrow, OK?" Matthew pulled himself back up to the top bar of his crib and reached for Matt to pick him up again. Kitty came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Looks like you have a little problem there cowboy."

Matt smiled, "but it's a nice little problem to have." He turned to Kitty and put his hands on her shoulders, "why don't you go to bed and get some rest. I'll stay up with him until he falls asleep." He looked back at the baby, "he will fall asleep, won't he?"

Kitty swatted his rear and smiled. "I hope for your sake he does."

Matt watched Kitty walk away. He turned to his son with an exasperated look on his face. He removed Matthew from the crib and wrapped his big arms around the child. He sat down in the chair by the French doors and decided a talk with his son was in order. Matthew hung on Matt's every word. "Now I know it was your first birthday and all but a little fella' like you needs his rest. I mean I don't want you to get the idea that we're going to do this every night because we're not this was a very special occasion." Matt held his son's hand and kissed it. Matthew's eyes continued to watch his father speak. "You see Matthew all little boys like you are asleep right about now because that's what little boys do when it gets dark and," he took a deep breath when he realized he wasn't having any impact reasoning with his son. "I have a feeling I'm going to be talking to you all night." Matt looked up at the ceiling trying desperately to think of something that might induce his son's sleep. A smile broke across Matt's face and in a baritone voice he began to sing, "_My daddy came west to Kansas, to make his home in Kansas, but all he made was his own grave, when he crossed the path of Killer Dave."_ Matthew smiled at his father's attempt at singing which only frustrated Matt all the more. He ran his hand through his hair, "OK, let's try another one, "_run rabbit run the dogs'll catch ya, run rabbit run ya better get away, run rabbit run the dogs'll catch ya, run rabbit run ya better get away,"_ Matt noticed Matthew's little eyes blink a few times and he was hoping that meant sleep was near. It was no time to stop now so Matt continued in a softer voice, "_Oh the rabbit run, the rabbit flew, the rabbit tore his tail in two, run rabbit run the dogs'll catch ya, run rabbit run ya better get away._" After a second refrain, Matthew's little eyelids became heavier and sleep finally took him. Matt carefully carried his son and gently laid him in the crib. "Sleep tight little one." He took a deep breath and headed for bed. He quickly disrobed and slowly crept under the sheet hoping not to disturb Kitty. As he laid his head on the pillow and closed his eyes Kitty drowsily spoke, "Who would have guessed those dumb songs of Chester's would have gotten our son to sleep?"

Matt leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Who would have guessed I paid enough attention to remember those dumb songs of Chester's!"

"Come to think of it Matt they were pretty gruesome songs to be singing to a little boy."

"They worked, didn't they?"

Kitty turned into Matt, "maybe you would like to serenade me to sleep?"

"Mrs. Dillon there are many things I would love to do to you but singing you to sleep is not one of them."

"Hmm…I see…well then why don't you start with the first thing that pops into your mind and see if I can stay awake long enough to work through your list."

Matt smiled, "Oh, I see. I always have to prove myself to you, do I?"

Kitty ran her fingers through his hair and smiled, "yes, you do cowboy…always."

As the train entered the station the steam from the engine wafted through the air and enveloped the figures standing on the platform. They were all so quiet lost in their own thoughts and holding on to each precious second they had left to spend together. Kitty turned to Doc and Newly trying very hard to keep herself from crying, "I'm not going to say goodbye because I know you'll be back soon." She wagged her finger at the two men. "Well, you better be." She rubbed her stomach. "I want you two here when the baby comes."

Doc stepped forward and hugged her. "You take care of that baby you're carrying and don't overdo it, you hear. You have three men here who will do whatever you need done. Promise me young lady!"

Kitty smiled, "I promise Doc."

He turned to Matt, "You take good care of her," as he motioned in Kitty's direction. Then he took Matthew's little hand, "and my grandson."

Matt hugged the old doctor, "safe trip home Doc and hurry back. I'm gonna' miss you, you old codger."

Doc walked over to Festus, "well, Festus, you take care of them for me. Don't let anything happen to them."

Festus pointed at Doc, "ya got the Haggen promise on that Doc." He started to walk away and then turned back toward the hill man. "Dodge is not…I mean it's not going to be….well, you know what I mean." Both men's eyes were starting to water as Festus reached out and hugged Doc, "You betcha' Doc."

Getting himself under control he turned to John and extended his hand. "Good seeing you again old friend. I know Kitty is in good hands."

"Good seeing you too Galen and I'm not going to let anything happen to our girl but I sure hope you'll be here for the birth."

"You can count on it!"

Doc walked slowly over to Maggie. He took her hands in his, "Maggie I really enjoyed getting to know you and I hope that you enjoyed getting to know me."

Maggie was trying very hard to keep her emotions in check. "I did Galen. I had such a wonderful time. I hope you'll come back soon." A tear slid down her face. "I'll miss you."

Doc smiled as he raised his thumb to wipe away the salty fluid. "I'll miss you too," and then softly kissed her lips.

Newly followed behind Doc to say goodbye and offer his sincere thanks for everyone's warm hospitality. Matt looked down at Kitty and smiled as he put his arm around her waist and pulled her close. They watched Doc and Newly board the train and waved as it pulled out of the depot. A few miles outside of town Newly looked over at Doc. He hadn't said a word since they left the depot fully content staring out the window watching the countryside pass him by. Newly now sorry he didn't pick something up to read decided to engage Doc in a conversation. "Well, Dodge is certainly not going to be the same, is it Doc?"

He shook his head, "no, it's not."

"They certainly looked happy though, didn't they?"

Doc turned toward Newly and in a hushed tone, "and we have to keep it that way. Now Newly let's work on our account of where we were and why Festus didn't return with us. No one can ever find them, agreed?"

"You betcha' Doc."

It was the end of August and two months since she had said goodbye to her two good friends. Kitty was very thankful that her pregnancy was better this time around but the oppressive humidity and high temperatures were beginning to take a toll. Festus had been down at the restaurant every day overseeing the renovations as well as Matt but she wanted to see firsthand how her plans were progressing. Matt tried to object but he knew once something got in that pretty little head of hers no one could change her mind. She entered the front door when she heard Festus' voice shouting orders. "Listen hear ya knuckleheads Miss Kitty is a spendin' good money to fix this here place up and she don't needs ya to be a daydreamin' and not a payin' any mind to whats ya has to do. Now…go…git and finish this here wall and ya ask me before ya be decidin' whether ya can be a takin' any breaks. Now….go…git, ya hear?"

Festus turned and saw Kitty standing in the middle of the room. He raced over and grabbed a chair. "Now Miss Kitty ya shouldn't oughta be down here. The dust can't be good for ya little one in there. Here, at least sit down."

Kitty cupped his face with her hand, "you watch me too closely Festus. I'm just fine."

"That may be Miss Kitty but I'z gave my word to Doc that I'd be a lookin' after ya and I'z don't want to be going back on my word, not to Doc anyways."

She sat down in the chair, "Festus, if I didn't feel well I wouldn't be here so stop worrying." She looked around the room, "I can't believe how well the renovation is coming," she looked up at Festus, "all thanks to you."

Festus began to blush, "Oh, shoot Miss Kitty it ain't nothin'. I'z just be a followin' what ya put down on this here paper." Just then he spotted the workers painting the wall the wrong color. "Hey, now what did I just get finish a tellin' ya? Ya gots to be a payin' mind to what's ya'll are doin'. Now get away from there ya ninny." He turned to Kitty, "be back directly Miss Kitty. I'z got to straighten this here yayhoo out."

Kitty smiled as she watched Festus walk toward the offending hired hand. She was in her own little world when she heard a deep voice from behind. "Excuse me Miss, I was hoping I could speak with the owner. I'm looking for a job." Kitty turned and her eyes opened wide.

"Sorry Miss, I didn't mean to scare you."

Kitty slowly stood but her eyes never left the man's face. She was momentarily speechless as she studied the man's features; tall, dark complexion, craggily moustache face. She extended her hand, "I'm the owner and you are?"

"Sam, ma'am, Sam O'Brien." He could see Kitty becoming paler by the second as he reached out for her. "Ma'am, are you OK?"

"Oh, yes, I was just thinking of someone." She continued to stare, "I'm sorry, my name is Kitty Russell, please sit down and tell me a little bit about yourself."

Sam moved one of the chairs over closer to Kitty, "nothing much to tell. I've been a bartender my whole life, except for the time during the war. Had my share of scrapes as a kid like any youngin' but I believe I'm an honest man just looking to work for an honest wage. That's about all I can tell you."

"Why did you leave your last job?"

"Said I was too old. Wanted a younger person. Lots of places have been tellin' me the same."

"Do you have a health problem?"

"No, ma'am just that I have probably lost a step or two over the years but I'm pretty healthy otherwise."

Kitty smiled, "I'll tell you the truth Sam I'm probably not going to open for awhile,"

Sam quickly interrupted, "I'll do anything right now, Miss Kitty. Whatever you need done. I really need a job."

Kitty raised her hand over her mouth and thought for a minute. She looked over at Sam, "well, Sam, I can't pay you much right now you understand but we'll work something out. Come by tomorrow around noon and we'll see what needs to be done."

Sam stood and wrapped her hand inside his, "Thank you Miss Kitty. You won't ever regret this I promise you."

As Sam walked out the door Kitty smiled and thought to herself, "_Somehow I know I won't_."

Festus came back into the room in time to see Sam leave. "Miss Kitty, I know it's ain't possible but didn't that there man be a lookin' just like the Sam that was a workin' in the Long Branch?"

"You noticed that too Festus?"

"Yes ma'am. What's he a lookin' fer?"

"A job."

"Well, ifn' he's half as good as the other Sam I'd say we'd be plum lucky to have him."

"You can say that again Festus." She began to feel a little lightheaded so she sat back down in the chair. Festus walked over to her and put his arms around her, "Miss Kitty is there somethin' I can get ya? Ya startin' to look a littl' peaked."

"No, I'm all right Festus but maybe I'll head back home unless you need me to stay."

"Miss Kitty, ya just go on a home now and rest. I'll be home directly."

Kitty cupped Festus' face, "I'll never be able to thank you enough for all you've done."

"Ya just have a healthy youngin' and that'll be all the thanks I be a needin'."

It was late October and Maggie was decorating the house for Halloween. Matt walked through the door to Matthew running into the hallway with Kitty in hot pursuit. "Whoa, slow down there son." He picked the baby up in his arms.

"Da da, ome?"

"Yes, your daddy is home." Matt walked over to Kitty and gave her a kiss.

"How's everything down at the restaurant?"

"Everything is fine." Matt directed Kitty toward a chair, "why don't we go sit down, you look a little tired."

"Good idea. Your son has unlimited energy and he's been running me all over the house."

Matt turned toward Matthew, "you see son, your mommy can't be running after you all day. She's carrying your brother or sister and she needs to take it easy."

"Ma ma?" Matthew pointed his finger in Kitty's direction.

"Yes, your mommy. Now what'd ya say we give her some time to herself and us men will have our time together?" Matt kissed Kitty, "honey, why don't you go on up to bed and lie down. I'll handle Matthew from here."

Kitty cupped Matt's face, "I think I will. If you can tire him out enough to get him to take a nap why don't you join me?" Kitty kissed Matt and made her way toward the stairs.

Matthew pointed his finger in Kitty's direction, "Ma ma, sheep?"

"That's right your mommy's going to sleep; which is probably something you should be doing." Matthew reached for the floor. "This is against my better judgment but it just might tire you out. There you go son." Matt put him on the floor and Matthew started for the kitchen. As Matt passed Maggie she smiled, "he is certainly a handful. I don't know where he gets the energy."

"I don't either!" As Matt continued after Matthew he yelled back at Maggie. "The house looks beautiful Maggie."

"Thanks sir." She smiled as she continued to decorate.

Kitty was sitting up reading when Matt came into the bedroom after putting Matthew down for the night. "I thought that child was never going to fall off to sleep."

Kitty patted the spot next to her on the bed, "Come here, you deserve a good night's rest."

"Is that all you think I deserve?"

Kitty smiled as she put her book on the nightstand, "are you sure you're up to more?"

He moved closer to her and started to rub her belly, "honey how are you feeling, really?"

Kitty placed her hand over Matt's, "I get tired from time to time but I think that's normal."

He laid his head on her chest as his fingers continued to glide over her skin, "I worry about you Kitty. I can't get what happened to you after Matthew's birth out of my mind."

Kitty ran her fingers through his thick graying hair. "Matt, this time is entirely different. You will be here and hopefully Doc will be back and it is my second child you know. I really don't think that anything is going to happen to me this time."

"I know but I can't help but worry."

"Matt, I love you but you have to stop worrying about this." She smiled, "if you think that I'm ever going to leave you or our children, well, oh, I don't want to hear another word about it and that's final!"

Matt raised his head and looked into her crystal blue eyes and smiled. "Yes ma'am."

"Now, what was it you were bragging about doing when you first got into bed?"

"I guess you haven't noticed that I'm more a man of action then talk."

Kitty shook her head, "haven't noticed it yet……oh, Matt!"

It was an unusually warm day for Halloween. Matt, Kitty, and Matthew were finishing up breakfast. Festus had already left for the restaurant and Matt was stopping there later in the morning. "Matt, how's Sam working out?"

"Couldn't ask for a better worker and he thinks very highly of you." Matt reached over and grabbed Kitty's hand. "You've done it again Mrs. Dillon."

Kitty smiled and placed her other hand over his, "I think he is just so happy to have a job. I've hardly seen him since I hired him so how could he have such a high opinion of me?"

Matt took her head in his hand and kissed her. "Because you're you. You have the biggest heart in the world and people appreciate that."

"Well maybe." She looked over at Matthew who was preoccupied eating his mashed bananas. "Matt, would you mind taking care of Matthew today?"

"Why where are you going?"

"I want to stop by and see how the restaurant is progressing."

"Kitty I don't think that is such a great idea. You've been feeling tired lately, I think you should stay home and rest."

"Lot of rest I'm getting running after your son all day long."

"Still you're here and Maggie can always take over if he really wears you down."

"Matt please, I just need to get out for awhile. I promise I'm not going to do anything while I'm there. Just walk around and see the place."

Matt thought a minute and then shook his head, "Kitty, I would prefer it if you would stay home but I know it's not going to do any good to force the issue." He kissed her, "do me one favor?"

"What's that?"

"No longer than an hour?"

She smiled as she leaned in to kiss him, "I promise cowboy."

When she walked in the door Sam was putting the finishing touches on the bar. He stopped what he was doing and walked toward her. "Miss Kitty, I don't know if it's good for you to be down here."

"Sam, it's fine. I'm not going to be here that long. I just wanted to see how everything was coming along."

"Maybe I should walk with you?"

"No, finish what you were doing." As she walked closer to the bar she ran her fingers along the top, "This looks beautiful Sam. You have done quite a job on it."

"Thank you Miss Kitty. I really want to make everything look special for you."

Kitty could feel herself blush, "well, it'll be the best bar in all of New Orleans, that's for sure." Sam smiled and continued his work. Kitty kept moving throughout the downstairs very happy with the continual progress. Festus came out of the kitchen area and spotted Kitty standing admiring the woodwork. "Miss Kitty now ya ought not to be down here. Matthew know ya here?"

"Yes Festus, I cleared it with my jailer." She put her hand up and shook her head. "I'm sorry it's just that everyone is treating me as if I'm helpless and it's driving me crazy."

"We is just a worryin' about ya and that youngin' is all."

"I know Festus and I appreciate it but I promised Matt I wouldn't stay longer than an hour so if you have a minute maybe you could show me around. How are the upstairs rooms coming?"

"Oh, they be comin' along real fine."

"Mind if I see?"

"Ya sure ya up to it?"

"Festus, I climb the stairs in the house all the time. Now come on." He helped her to both floors and Kitty was extremely pleased with the progress of both rooms. Before they started their descent Festus made her sit on a chair and rest. "Now don't go gettin' mad Miss Kitty. I just think it be best to take an extra couple of breaths before we go down them stairs." By the time they reached the first floor Kitty was too tired to look at anything else. "I think I'm going to go home Festus."

"Miss Kitty, ya needs me to take ya home?"

"No, I'll be fine. See you home for supper?"

Festus winked, "You betcha."

Kitty turned to walk out the door when a sharp pain ran through her body. She immediately stopped walking and Festus ran to her side. "Ya all right?"

"I need to sit a minute Festus."

"Sam grab Miss Kitty a chair."

Sam quickly put the chair down and Festus gently helped her sit. The second shooting pain was more intense than the first and Kitty let out with a muffled scream. "What is it Miss Kitty?"

Tears were starting to run down her face, "I don't know Festus but I'm in a lot of pain."

"Sam, do ya know where Dr. Chapman's office is?"

"Yes, I do."

"Then you best be a hurryin' and get him. Tell him Miss Kitty is in a lot of pain and she needs him somethin' fierce." Festus dismissed Sam with a wave of his hand, "Hurry now!"

Sam ran out the front door and down Royal Street. The pains kept coming and Kitty grabbed Festus. She bore her nails into his shoulder which only increased his concern. She gripped her stomach with her other hand and shouted, "No, please, no." He tried hard to comfort her but his words seemed hollow even to him. He stood and held her close as he ran his hand over her hair, "Now, now, Miss Kitty don't fret. Dr. Chapman is gonna' be here directly and you and the littl' one is gonna' be just fine, you'll see. Festus felt so helpless with Kitty in his arms sobbing uncontrollably. Tears were streaming down her face, "No, this can't be happening." He knelt again but this time he lightly ran his hand over her belly. "Stay in the buggy littl' one. For your mama now, stay in the buggy."


	11. Our Second Miracle

All three friends sat perfectly still wrapped inside a cocoon of eerie silence each grappling with their own thoughts. Even the baby was content just lying in his father's arms. Matt stared down at Matthew for a second then began to absentmindedly run his hand over the child's hair. Maggie and Festus sat on opposite sides of the room staring at nothing and no one in particular. The lone sound was the constant ticking of the clock counting down the fleeting echo of time. The first creek of the stairs snapped everyone from their reverie and all eyes focused on the hallway. As John entered the room he glanced at each face steeped in worry and then stared at Matt. He slowly rose and walked toward John, "How is she John?"

"She's holding her own Matt but she is very weak. I've given her something so she can rest. That's what she needs now lots of rest; lots and lots of rest."

"Can I see her?"

"I wouldn't stay too long Matt, she really needs to sleep." Matt handed the baby to Maggie and then made the long climb up the stairs. He stood for a second outside the bedroom door and took a deep breath. He quietly entered the room and slowly sat in the chair next to the bed. He reached out and wrapped her slender hand between his two muscular ones and softly kissed her protruding fingers. Kitty's eyes started to flutter and eventually focused in on Matt. She was still very groggy but her eyes smiled when she saw her handsome husband staring down at her, "Hey cowboy, why don't you climb into bed and hold me."

"Kitty, I don't think John would think it a very good idea."

"Oh, what does John know?" She gave him a weak smile. "Please Matt I need to feel your arms around me now."

Matt stood and walked around to his side of the bed. He removed his boots and carefully moved Kitty into his arms. "I feel much better now cowboy." Matt ran his fingers through her hair and within minutes she began to softly snore. He smiled knowing sleep would be taking her soon. He gently placed her head down on the pillow and left to join the others. When Matt entered the room Festus and Maggie made their way to the kitchen to give him and John some privacy. "John, I need to know what we're dealing with here."

"Matt, Kitty came very close to losing the baby today. We won't know anything for another couple of days but it's imperative that she remain in bed. I mean it Matt she can't be moving around."

"John, is Kitty in any danger?"

"No…not at the moment."

Matt paced for awhile as he ran his fingers through his hair. He turned back to John, "if there is a choice…I mean…if it's between saving the baby or Kitty," Matt paused, "I want you to do whatever it takes to save Kitty."

"Matt I'll do whatever I can, you know that, but sometimes the choice is not always ours."

"John, I don't want to hear that." He grabbed the doctor by the lapels, "you save Kitty, you hear me!"

John looked down at Matt's hold on his jacket and then looked back at him. "I'll do the best I can." John shook his head, "I'm sorry Matt that's all I can promise."

Matt released his hold on John and the doctor could see Matt's eyes start to water. He reached over and put his hand on Matt's back. "Come on I think we both could use a drink."

Maggie had insisted on watching Matthew for the night so Matt could be alone with Kitty. He crawled into bed and laid on his side watching his sleeping wife as he gently ran the back of his fingers down her face. Matt smiled when he remembered Kitty's promise of never leaving him or her children and he held on to that as he watched the slight rise of her chest with every breath she took. He kissed her lips and laid his head carefully on her shoulder as his hand glided across her belly. Before long his body gave in to the day's ordeal and sleep came swiftly.

The morning was a bright November day and the sun illuminated the bedroom in brilliant hues of color. Kitty slowly opened her eyes to find Matt sound asleep on her shoulder with his hand protectively lying across her belly. She smiled and kissed the top of his forehead as she gently caressed his face. Matt opened his eyes and smiled, "Good morning, how are you feeling?"

"Still a little hazy. I guess John gave me some potent drug."

Matt rested his head on his hand and stared into her eyes. "That's because he wants you to rest."

"Matt?"

He ran his fingers gently down her face, "what is it honey?"

"Am I going to lose the baby?"

He looked down for a moment, "Matt, look at me. Am I going to lose the baby?"

Matt looked up and shook his head, "from what John said you came very close. He just wants you to rest and see what happens from here."

Kitty shook her head in disgust, "why did I have to go down to the restaurant? I should have listened to you. I…"

Matt reached over and cupped her face with his hand as he gently kissed her lips, "I don't want you to think about that any more. You concentrate on getting some rest and let our daughter take it from there."

"Our daughter?"

"Yes, our daughter." Matt smiled as he ran his hand over Kitty's belly. "This little one has shown me a lot of fight; reminds me a lot of her mother."

Kitty smiled, "are you going to be able to handle two fighters in the family?"

Matt played with Kitty's hair, "no doubt in my mind. I'm positive she'll have me wrapped around her little finger, just like her mother." He leaned over and kissed her forehead and started to leave. "Where are you going?"

"To get you something to eat. Now, you lie back and relax. Your husband is going to wait on you day and night until our child is ready to enter this world."

"Only until our child enters this world? I thought I had you wrapped around my finger?"

"Oh, you do, but, you see, I'll be a little busy with our daughter. I figured you wouldn't mind."

Kitty smiled, "I won't mind at all." Matt left the bed and made his way down to the kitchen as Kitty watched his every move. She drifted back to sleep more certain then before that everything was going to be just fine.

During the week Kitty continued to regain her strength and John was very pleased. "So doctor what do you think?"

"Kitty, girl, I was worried about you, that was for sure."

"And you're not worried now?"

"Not as much but that doesn't mean you can continue to maintain the schedule you were on. Until you're ready to give birth you are not to leave this bed, understood?"

"Understood." Kitty smiled, "doesn't mean I'm going to like it!"

"I know you won't but I want this baby to have an uneventful birth and I'm sure you do too."

"More than anything John. We've come this far together."

John grabbed her thigh, "OK then. I'll check in on you later."

Kitty grabbed his hand, "I do appreciate everything you've done John. You're such a wonderful man."

John blushed as he cleared his throat, "yes, well, you rest comfortably and I'll see you later." He stood and leaned over and kissed her forehead and left.

Kitty was sitting up reading when Matt and Matthew entered the room. Her two favorite men climbed into bed next to her. They brought Kitty a bowl full of her favorite grapes. Matthew took a grape from the bowl and put it next to Kitty's lips. "Ma ma, gapes?"

Kitty smiled, "I would love a grape Matthew." Her lips quickly took in the juicy offering from his little fingers. Matthew laughed at his mother and turned to get another piece of fruit. They continued this exercise until all the grapes were gone. "Ma ma more gapes?"

"I think I had my fill thank you Matthew." He looked at Kitty then moved toward her stomach and stared. Eventually he pointed his finger and lightly touched her belly. He turned back toward Kitty, "Ma ma tick?"

She reached for Matthew and pulled him closer to her as she looked down into his cherubic face. "Your mommy's not sick. That's your brother or sister Matthew."

Matt cleared his throat, "Kitty, now, don't you think he's a little too young to be learning about the birds and the bees?"

"This is a far as I'm going cowboy. I would never rob you of the chance to sit with your son and explain how everything is done!"

Matt shot her a look, "Yeah, thanks." Kitty laughed as Matt grabbed Matthew. "Come on son, your mommy needs her rest. Give her a kiss now." Matthew kissed Kitty and she ran her fingers down his face. As Matt was heading for the door Matthew turned back and waved to Kitty. She smiled, blew him a kiss, and went back to reading her book.

It was the first week of December and Kitty was now at her wits end. She had spent a little over a month flat on her back and she needed more than anything to move around. Her favorite holiday was rapidly approaching and she couldn't fathom spending Christmas in bed. She had already missed Thanksgiving and she spent that holiday hoping for an early delivery. If she could only put her feet on the floor she knew she would feel so much better. She removed the comforter from across her body and began to move her legs toward the floor when Matt came in the room. "Kitty, where do you think you're going?"

"Matt, anywhere but here. I need to move around." He grabbed her legs and gently placed them back in bed and laid the comforter over her body. "You stay right where you are, you hear me?"

"Matt I've been very good for a month now but I need to stand for a little while."

"Kitty, we've been doing the exercises John suggested so you don't need to stand. Besides it's only a few weeks more."

"Matt, surely my standing for a minute or two is not going to affect this child."

"We don't know that for sure. So until you give birth you're to stay in bed."

"That's sound advice young lady and I'd listen to him. It's the only time he's been right about anything in his life." Doc pushed Matt to the side. "Now, get out of my way and let me have a look at your beautiful wife." Doc took her hands in his and kissed her cheek then he sat next to her on the bed. "You look marvelous my dear and I'm glad to see you took John's advice and stayed in bed."

"It hasn't been easy Doc."

"What?" Doc waved his thumb toward Matt, "You don't like this big oaf here granting your every whim?"

Kitty smiled, "that's been the best part."

Doc rubbed his moustache, "well, now, you have another male who is going to pamper you until you give birth to another beautiful child." Doc gently laid his hand on her belly.

Kitty raised her arms in resignation, "well, it looks like I can't win."

"And I'm glad to see you've come to realize that young lady. I didn't come all this way not to have a hand in my next grandchild's birth." Doc glared up at Matt. "Since I was robbed of the first one!"

"Doc, why didn't you tell us you were coming? I would have met you at the depot."

"Or so everyone would know where you two are? Sometimes I don't think you have a lick of sense."

Kitty held Doc's arm, "Doc, stop picking on him."

"Ooh, I have you taking up for him now? I've warned you about him for years but you wouldn't listen to me and now look at you!" Doc winked at Kitty as she chuckled.

Matt was anxious to change the subject, "did Newly come with you Doc?"

"No, Matt. He wanted to very much but one of Alex's deputies quit on him and he needed Newly to fill in."

"So you're here because someone was fool enough to want your job?"

"No, I wish that was the case Matt but I'm hoping my replacement will take a liking to it. My place is here now with you and Kitty and the kids."

Kitty touched Doc's arm, "and Maggie?"

Doc started to blush, "Why is it women always want to talk about the intimacies of people's lives?"

Kitty raised her eyebrows and smiled, "you mean there are intimacies to talk about Doc?"

Doc tugged on his ear, "Matt, let's get out of here while my reputation is still intact."

Matt put his arm around the old doctor, "so tell me Doc how's Dodge these days?"

Kitty watched them leave the room and chuckled. Doc didn't have to tell her a thing she could read it in his face.

It was Christmas Eve and Kitty could hear the celebratory noise from her family and friends downstairs. The house was beautifully decorated and Doc was more than willing to help Maggie shower the house with holiday cheer. They all raised their glasses in a toast and settled back to enjoy their before dinner drink. Matt looked down at Matthew happily playing with one of his toys. Matt couldn't resist letting him open one present the day before and didn't regret his decision since the building blocks seemed to be a big hit with his son. Matt finished his drink and excused himself. He went up to the bedroom and as he entered the room he found Kitty in some distress. "Honey, are you all right?"

"Matt, I think the baby is coming."

Matt ran from the room and down the stairs and spoke in a breathless tone, "Kitty needs us. She thinks the baby is coming."

They all left the room but Festus stayed downstairs with the baby, "I'll just be a stayin' down here with you Matthew." He flailed his arms in the air. "Things like that just make me all squeemy like." John and Doc hurried up the stairs and entered the room followed by Matt and Maggie. The doctors prepared her for birth and Matt knelt beside the bed holding her hand and applying the cold towels Maggie was handing him. "Matt, hold me Matt, please!"

"I'm here honey. You just do what the doctors tell you to do and everything is going to be all right." Kitty clutched Matt's one hand tightly and grabbed his shirt with the other whenever the pain became too intense. Matt felt helpless and would have done anything to shoulder the agony she was in. "Doc, isn't there something you can give her? She's in so much pain."

"Hush now, just do your best to comfort her."

Doc looked up at Kitty, "Kitty now, you know it's near. Come on honey push a little more." Doc signaled to Matt to come to him, "Matt, give the towel to Maggie and you come here." Matt took his place behind Doc and watched as his child entered the world. He stood in a trance as a myriad of emotions coursed through his body nearly reducing him to tears. Doc smiled as he handed the baby to Matt. "It's a girl Matt. Here's your sweet little baby girl." Matt wrapped his big arms around the tiny baby and made his way to Kitty as everyone left the room to give the parents some time alone. Matt sat at the edge of the bed as Kitty was catching her breath. "Kitty, I told you it would be a girl, didn't I?" He handed her the baby. Kitty opened her nightgown and placed the baby's lips against her nipple. After much coaxing the baby finally tugged on her mother's breast. "I just want you to know your son grabbed on right away!"

"Maybe I better start talking to him very early about the birds and the bees!" Matt smiled as he stroked Kitty's hair. "She's beautiful honey; just like her mama."

Kitty continued to softly run her fingers over the baby's head. "What are we going to name her?"

"I've been giving this some thought the past two months. How's Kathleen Mary Russell Dillon?"

Kitty tried to smile through her tears, "well, we can't call her Kitty."

"No, but I was thinking we could call her Katie."

Kitty looked down at their child, "Katie Dillon, it does have a nice ring to it." She reached up to touch Matt's face. "I love you Matt."

"I love you so much honey." He leaned down and kissed her lips then turned to Katie. "And you too little one."

Kitty gently laid her hand on Matt's cheek, "Matt I think Doc needs to finish here so if you don't mind getting him?"

He kissed her again, "I'll see you later," and then left the room.

Doc and Maggie were making breakfast on Christmas morning. Everyone's spirits were buoyed by the birth of Katie and the pall that hung over the house a month ago was replaced by laughter and song. Both John and Doc thought it best for Kitty to remain in bed for at least a week which didn't sit well with Kitty but if her doctors were worried about a post birth relapse she was more than willing to oblige their request. Doc brought Kitty her breakfast, "Well, now, you certainly are looking well this morning."

Kitty smiled, "and so are you."

Doc laid the tray on Kitty's lap and grabbed her arm to check her pulse. "Pulse is normal." He felt her head for any sign of fever, "how are you feeling this morning?"

I'm feeling much better Doc although I wish I could be downstairs today but I understand."

"Hmm…understanding now? Being a mother seems to be bringing the best out in you."

She playfully hit his arm with the back of her hand, "Oh, Curley."

Doc sat next to Kitty on the edge of the bed. He looked down not sure how he was going to broach the subject with her. Kitty eyed his concern and placed her hand on his arm. "There's nothing wrong with the baby, is there Doc?"

"Oh good Lord, no. She's as fit as I've ever seen a child."

"Then why the concerned look?"

"You."

"Me?"

He ran his hand over his moustache, "Kitty, this is probably none of my business but,"

"But what Doc?"

He cautiously proceeded, "were you thinking about having more children?"

Kitty chuckled, "not that I really gave much thought to the two I have!"

"Kitty now, I'm serious."

She looked over at her good friend, "I guess I see you are."

"Honey, the fact that you had to be bedridden for two months and your age well," Doc tugged on his ear, "I just think it might be a good idea to make Katie your last."

Kitty looked down at her hands, "Doc I never thought that carrying a child could ever make me feel so alive." She squeezed his hand as she looked up into his eyes. "I know you're worried about me and I love you for it. The least I can do is promise you I will give it some thought."

Doc patted her hand, "I was hoping for more but I guess that's all I can ask for."

"Merry Christmas Doc."

Doc stood and leaned over to kiss Kitty on the cheek. "Merry Christmas Kitty."

"Hey, what's going on here? The minute my back is turned you sneak up here to be with my wife?"

Doc moved closer to Kitty and whispered, "I tried to warn you about him, so possessive." Kitty laughed as Doc stood and walked toward Matt, "ooh boy what a jealous streak."

"Do you blame me?"

"No, no, can't say that I do." Doc tugged on his ear and looked up at Matt, "You know…I could easily convince her to come away with me if I had a mind to." Doc winked over at Kitty.

"Oh…is that so?"

Kitty shook her head, "Oh yes Matt it's true. The good doctor and I have been planning our getaway for awhile now."

Matt walked toward Kitty and sat on the edge of the bed, "and there is absolutely nothing I can do to make you reconsider?" He held her in a lingering kiss.

She slowly opened her eyes and cleared her throat, "well," she ran her hand down Matt's chest. "I think I have to hold off on my decision for a few weeks by then I expect to fully review all the evidence."

Matt kissed her on the neck, "Hmm…then that will give me plenty of time to fully prepare my case."

Doc raised his arms in resignation and mumbled as he left the room. "There he goes again and just when I had her on the verge of leaving him." They started to laugh as they watched Doc disappear from sight. Matt turned to Kitty and ran his hand down her face. "How are you feeling honey?"

She cupped his face with her hands, "I am feeling fine thanks to you."

"Oh? And what did I do?"

"Love me."

"That is the easiest thing I've ever done in my life." He leaned in again and held her in an equally lengthy kiss. "Merry Christmas Kitty."

"Merry Christmas Matt."

Matt had waited all day to finally have Kitty alone to celebrate Christmas. Katie had just finished feeding and Matt tenderly laid her in the bassinet. He went to his dresser drawer, took the colorful package out of its hiding place, and held it behind his back as he made his way back to bed. "Got something there cowboy?" Matt moved under the sheets next to Kitty and handed her the package. Her face lit up as she unraveled the ribbon and then the paper. She slowly opened the box and there lie the most exquisite string of pearls she had ever seen. She began to cry, "Oh, Matt!"

"Do you like them?"

"They're so beautiful." She held them in her hands, "I love them Matt but I don't have anything for you."

"You gave me the greatest gift of all." He looked over at the bassinet, "our daughter." Kitty smiled and kissed his lips.

Matt took a bead and rolled it between his fingers, "The man in the store said that people sometimes give pearls to a woman after she gives birth and it also happens to be Matthew's birthstone. I figured you had so many pieces with your birthstone that you might like something different." He released the bead and held Kitty's chin to kiss her. "Besides a new restaurant owner in this city should look her best."

She wrapped her hand around his neck. "How did I ever get so lucky to have a man like you as my husband?"

"Mrs. Dillon, I'm the lucky one." He pulled Kitty toward him and snuggly wrapped her in his arms as they enjoyed the quiet of Christmas night. "Matt?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you ever think when we were in Dodge that we would have a life like this?

He slowly ran circles on her back. "Kitty, I couldn't see myself living past thirty when we were in Dodge."

"You never thought about us married and having children?"

"Oh, I thought about it now and again but never wanted to think on it too hard. I knew if I did I'd lose my concentration and most likely my life." He brushed strands of hair away from her face. "What about you…you ever think about it?"

"No not at first. I was content just loving you and spending whatever time we could together but then those triplets were born and I saw you holding that baby, well, I just couldn't look at you again without thinking about having your children." Kitty ran her hand down Matt's chest. "Oh, and then there was Mary."

"You were pretty upset after you handed her over to Mrs. Baines. You must have cried yourself to sleep for about a week after that."

Kitty shook her head in acknowledgement, "at that time I thought that was going to be my last chance to have a child and for whatever reason that really affected me." Kitty looked up and kissed his lips. "Then along came Matthew."

Matt took her chin in his hand, "you know Mrs. Dillon, if I didn't know any better I'd swear you've had all this planned."

Kitty smiled, "I guess Mr. Dillon, you'll never really know will you?"

Matt tilted her head and kissed her, "however it happened I'm not one bit sorry."

"Hmm…never mind your son maybe I need to explain the birds and the bees to you. I mean I would show you but…"

Matt looked down at Kitty and cleared his throat, "yeah, well, never mind. I think what we need to do is try and get some sleep. I'm sure little Katie will need a feeding pretty soon and..." Kitty smothered his thought with a kiss and then snuggled under Matt's chin and held him tight.

It was an unseasonably cool gray day in New Orleans but the mood in the Dillon house was anything but this New Years Eve. Kitty was back on her feet again and she loved every minute of her freedom. She had just finished feeding Katie and made her way to the kitchen to help with the dinner preparations. Maggie was so thrilled to have Kitty cooking side by side with her again. "Miss Kitty you are looking wonderful."

"Maggie I feel wonderful. So fill me in on what's been going on while I've been in exile."

"Going on?"

"Don't play coy with me Maggie O'Leary. What's been going on with you and Doc?"

Maggie could feel her face turning a bright shade of red "Oh, Miss Kitty now. We've just been enjoying each other's company. There's nothing more to tell."

"Oh? Your face doesn't say there's nothing more." Maggie continued to silently mash the potatoes. "Maggie, I really don't mean to pry but I think it would be wonderful if you and Doc found a little bit of happiness too."

"Miss Kitty, that's really not up to me. Hand me the butter please?" Kitty obliged. "I really do like being around Galen but he lives in Dodge and I live here. I don't think we see enough of each other to know how either one of us feels."

Kitty put her hand on Maggie's shoulder, "Doc has told me his life is here now and I don't think he feels that way only because of us and the kids."

"I hope that's true, I really do."

Kitty smiled, "I know so Maggie."

They had finished dinner and were relaxing in the living room waiting for the stroke of midnight. Matthew was in his crib asleep and Katie was starting to stir in Kitty's arms. "Matt, I'll be right back." Matt helped her up and Kitty excused herself and made her way into the kitchen. Maggie loved hearing the stories about prior New Years Eve's in Dodge but she especially loved sitting next to Doc while he did most of the storytelling. Festus occasionally had a few tales of his own, which Doc couldn't help but critique, and Matt sat wishing he didn't need to mediate. It was fun watching the dynamic of this group from Dodge but Maggie couldn't help but notice John sitting silently in deep thought. Kitty came back in the room and sat down next to Matt. He put his arm around her and pulled her close, "Katie off to sleep?"

She smiled up at him, "For now she is. What did I miss?"

"Just the usual."

"Doc and Festus?" Matt nodded.

In the middle of past remembrances Maggie looked up and noticed that it was getting close to midnight. As she made an attempt to leave, Doc held her arm as he turned toward her, "everything all right?"

She whispered, "yes Galen, but it's almost midnight. I was going to get the champagne."

"Then why don't I help?" Doc stood and helped Maggie out of the sofa and they proceeded to the kitchen. Kitty watched them leave the room and looked up at Matt and smiled. They returned with a tray of glasses filled with the bubbly liquid as the clock rang in the New Year. Everyone raised their glass toasting family and good friends. Doc turned to Maggie, "I hope this year will be a very good one for us." Then he took her by the shoulders and gently gave her a kiss. "Happy New Year, Maggie."

"She smiled, "Happy New Year to you too Galen." She couldn't resist the urge to hug him.

Matt turned to Kitty and held her face in his hands, "Happy New Year Kitty."

She smiled, "Happy New Year Matt." He leaned down and softly kissed her lips. As the innocent kiss turned into a passionate embrace Doc grabbed Matt by the arm. "Oh, for heaven's sake, can't you think of anything else?" He maneuvered his way between the two, "now get out of my way so I can wish your wife a very Happy New Year." Matt smiled and ushered the rest of his friends into the dining area for some coffee and cake.

Doc was holding Katie with Matthew standing next to him holding on to his legs. He was going to miss this when he returned home to Dodge tomorrow but it had almost been two months and he had promised his replacement that he wouldn't be longer than that. He held Katie's little hand and ran his thumb over the top, "You are a beautiful baby and one day you are going to be as stunning as your mother."

Matthew put his hand on Katie's leg. "Pop Pop, bay bee?"

"Yes, son, this is a baby but more than that she is your sister Katie. Can you say Katie?"

Matthew furrowed his eyebrows and stared at Doc. Doc spoke Katie's name a few more times and Matthew watched intently. Matthew looked at Katie and then back up at Doc, "Kay wee?"

Doc smiled knowing he came close enough, "That's right Katie." He tousled the boy's hair, "You're a smart little boy Matthew." Then he kissed his little forehead. Matthew was so pleased with himself and he kept pointing to Katie and saying, "Kay wee?" Doc shook his head and ran his hand over his moustache. "I'm going to miss this, yes sir; I'm certainly going to miss this."

Matt was sitting up in bed reading the paper when Kitty entered the room. She smiled as she climbed into bed and looked over at his naked form. Matt's eyes never left the paper as he gave her a section of the news. "This should keep you occupied for awhile."

"Oh, Matt." She slammed her body against the pillows.

"Kitty, I don't like it anymore then you do, especially when you wear that nightgown," he smiled over at her, "but we have to wait until John gives the OK since Doc is going back to Dodge tomorrow." He leaned over and took her pouting face in his hand. "Come on honey it's only another few weeks and I promise you I will make it well worth your wait." He raised his eyebrows and Kitty began to laugh.

"I'm holding you to that cowboy. You better rest up now because I will expect you to keep me satisfied all night long."

"Hmm…that's a tall order Mrs. Dillon." He ran his fingers through his hair, "all night?"

"Oh, I promise you, I'll keep you up all night!"

He threw the newspaper on the floor and held Kitty tight. "I love you so much Kitty."

"Oh, Matt, I love you."

The next day Doc stood at the front door patiently waiting for Matt to take him to the depot. "Matt, come on now, I don't want to miss that train."

Matt hurriedly walked down the hall, "hold your horses Doc I was just getting Matthew so he could say goodbye. Anyway you've got plenty of time before the train leaves."

"Well, the pace you're setting we won't be leaving this house until late tonight!"

Slowly the rest of the house stood in the hall to say goodbye. "Now Doc don't forget try and get away in April. I'm planning on May first for the opening and I want you to be there."

Doc wrapped his arms around her, "I will try my best. Don't want to miss that, that's for sure."

Festus approached the old doctor, "Now, Doc, ya take care of ya self and get back here mucho pronto. I'm gonna' miss ya, ya ornery old sawbones." He grabbed Doc in a huge hug.

Doc tried to break loose, "Festus now what are you trying to do break every bone in my body? Oh, and another thing, don't be talking around my grandson. I don't need you undoing what I've done!"

"Fiddle Doc, now why ya have to go and say somethin' like that? Pfst!" Festus raised his arms in a shooing away motion. "Now go on and get outta hear ya ole scudder with your high toney words."

Doc smiled as he rubbed his hand over his moustache, "Oh, I am going to miss this!" He turned to look for Maggie. Kitty nodded motioning toward the kitchen. "Excuse me one minute." He found Maggie rolling dough for the dinner bread. "Maggie?" She didn't turn around so he walked over to her and laid his hands on her shoulders. He knew she had been crying, "Maggie, now turn to me." She slowly turned to face Doc tears streaming down her face. "I thought for a minute there you were going to let me go and not say goodbye."

"Galen, I wish we didn't have to say goodbye."

He ran his fingers down her cheeks to wipe away the tears. "One day I promise you I will be back for good. Now, can I have a smile before I leave?" She obliged. He softly kissed her lips, "Maggie, I'll miss you terribly but you will be in my heart all the time I'm in Dodge."

"And you will be in mine." He kissed her again and both made their way back to the front door. Matt handed Matthew to Doc, "Pop pop?"

"Listen here young man," he couldn't continue as his voice cracked with emotion. He kissed Matthew on his forehead and handed the baby to Maggie. He walked over to Kitty and held Katie's hand in his. "You be good for your mama, you hear?" They all waved as Matt and Doc walked down the path to the coach.

They were half way to the depot and Doc was still very quiet. "Do you think you'll be able to get back here for Kitty's big opening?"

"Matt, I'll do whatever I can to make that happen. I hope my replacement took a real shine to cow town doctoring and if so I might be back before then."

"That'll be fine Doc, real fine."

Doc looked over at Matt, "Say Matt before we get to the depot there is something I'd like to talk with you about."

"What's that Doc?"

"Kitty."

"Kitty? She's all right isn't she Doc?"

"Oh, heaven's yes, she's fine."

"Then what do you want to talk about?"

"Matt I spoke to Kitty about this already but I think I may need help in making her see how very important this is." Doc tugged on his ear. "I was hoping to convince your wife that she shouldn't have any more children."

"Oh," Matt looked straight ahead.

"Matt, I don't know how you feel about this, I mean, you might want ten more I don't know but I think Kitty's body is telling us something. First with the reaction she had after Matthew and then having to be bedridden with Katie. She came very close to losing that baby Matt and I know how devastating that would have been for her. I would never want her to experience something like that or you."

"I know Doc. I have to tell you I was mighty worried about her this time."

"I know you were Matt but I think Kitty is going to be very difficult to convince."

"What do I have to do?"

"We modified something that she used in Dodge. I just need you to make sure she uses it like she did when you two were just starting your courtship."

Matt cleared his throat, "I'm beginning to get a little uncomfortable here Doc. She came to you about…well…you know…"

"Oh, for heaven's sake Matt." Doc started to chuckle, "you can't be that naïve. I didn't need to see Kitty professionally for me to know you two were, well," Doc rubbed his hand over his moustache, "well, she didn't need to tell me everything, you know." Matt was still uneasy discussing the subject but Doc thought he'd still have a little fun. "I can almost pinpoint the night too. Oh, it was about three years after Kitty had come to Dodge. We were all having a few drinks in the Long Branch and like always you and Kitty didn't pay too much attention to any of us." Doc scratched his cheek, "but there was something different about you two that night that I just couldn't put my finger on it."

"Doc," Matt waved his hand, "I really don't want to hear any more."

Doc grabbed Matt's arm, "No, here's where it gets good. So, we're all sitting around the table and, come to think about it, it was right after Cole Yankton was killed." Doc shook a finger at Matt, "that's right, you felt real bad thinking Kitty had betrayed you," Doc shook his head and looked over at Matt, "boy were you jealous."

"I was not!" Matt's face quickly turned to annoyance, "Kitty was free to see whoever she wanted to see. I certainly didn't have the right to put restrictions on her."

"Well, maybe you don't remember it like I remember it but you watched her very closely while he was in town, heck, you even went to that Mexican restaurant she had wanted to go to for months."

"Well, we had to eat Doc."

"And normally you would have taken her to Delmonico's that is if she was lucky enough for you to be in town. No, this time you were more than happy to oblige as long as you had her in your sights while he was here."

"Sure, because I thought he might be trouble."

"Excuse it away any way you like but I know you didn't like the fact that he had a history with Kitty and that bothered you."

"Can we just skip the rest of your remembrances?"

"No, we cannot… now… where was I? Oh, yes, anyway I looked at Chester and nodded toward the door. You know Chester, he was never one for subtlety, so I practically had to drag him out of the saloon but you two didn't even budge. Later that evening I saw you leave the Long Branch and head for your office."

"I didn't realize that the town doctor stayed up all night to spy on people."

"Quite the contrary I was on my way to bed when I saw you running out of your office like a bat out of hell. Thinking there may be trouble I went into the next room and saw you running up the back stairs of the Long Branch." Doc stared over at Matt with raised eyebrows, "I also noticed you didn't have to knock." Matt let out with a deep breath as he rolled his eyes. Doc was having too much fun watching his good friend squirm to stop now. "So the next morning Kitty came to me and she was very nervous. In fact, I don't think I had ever seen her so panicky. After we talked for awhile she finally told me what had happened and why she was there so early in the morning." Matt let out with a tortured moan. "Now you're being silly Matt, I'm her doctor!"

"And how long was it you two were carrying on discussing the intimate details of my life?"

"Oh, that…that still continues!" Doc tried so hard to contain his amusement.

"Yeah, go on laugh it up." They pulled in front of the depot and Matt breathed a sigh of relief, "we're here and not a moment too soon!" Matt grabbed Doc's bag and helped him from the coach. Doc looked up at his old friend, "Matt I have to admit I may have had some fun at your expense coming over here just now but I thought you should know that there was never a day that Kitty didn't put your desires ahead of her own wants and needs. I will tell you this much we did have many serious discussions about children and her fear that she would miss out on motherhood but she loved you even though you had made it very clear to her that you didn't want any."

"Doc you understood why, didn't you?"

"Yes, but that doesn't change the fact that Kitty wanted children Matt. She was willing to forego her dream just to be with you. I sometimes don't think you ever appreciated that, or maybe you just weren't aware."

Matt dropped his head, "I was aware Doc. There were many nights I could hear her soft whimpers but I just never knew what to do, well, besides give her the child she wanted."

Doc reached up and patted Matt on the shoulder, "well, you finally did that all right!"

Matt's face broke into a huge grin, "I did…didn't I."

"Matt, I would never ask you to abstain, mostly because neither you nor Kitty would pay any attention to that," Doc cleared his throat, "but, in my most judicious medical opinion, Kitty should not become pregnant again." The two friends embraced and Doc looked up at Matt. "I'm going to try and get back for the opening Matt. See you in a couple of months."

"See ya then Doc." As Doc turned to leave Matt grabbed his arm, "My life would be nothing without her Doc."

Doc turned back, shook his head, and smiled, "I know son…I really do."


	12. The Big Day Has Arrived!

A month before the big opening found Kitty sitting in the big chair in the room next to the kitchen with a list in both English and French of suitable names for the restaurant. A week ago she decided to enlist Matt in her decision making process so night after night they would sit in bed and go over the list but her husband wasn't much help. He had as much difficulty picking a name as he had picking a pair of women's boots in a store front window back in Dodge. After awhile he would convince Kitty that what she needed was a diversion and then picking a name was the last thing on her mind. Kitty quickly realized that being in bed with Matt might not be the best way to successfully find a name to christen her establishment so she decided to go down to the building one afternoon and hope that the building's façade would give her inspiration. Matt was more than happy to take care of the children so he kissed his wife goodbye and wished her luck. She stood, arms folded, deep in thought as John walked slowly in her direction. He stood for a few seconds; arms folded mimicking her stance waiting for an acknowledgement. After awhile he stood closer and leaned in to her, "Are you wondering why in heavens you ever bought this place? Startled, she turned and saw John's smiling face. "Oh John, I'm sorry, how long were you standing there?

"Not long and what on earth are you doing out here?"

"I'm trying to get inspiration."

"Inspiration for what?"

"A name."

John hesitated for a moment, "Not happy with the one you have?"

She shot him a look and then broke out in laughter. "No, for the restaurant."

"Oh, I see, and you think by standing here in the middle of the street a name is going to come to you?"

"That was my plan."

"Mind if I stand and watch? I always wanted to know how a person went about naming something they owned."

"John, it's not that I don't have a long list of names back home it's just that I haven't been able to choose. I thought if I just stared at the brick long enough one of those names would make sense."

"And you're not having any luck?"

Kitty shook her head, "Uh, uh, not yet anyway."

John stood for a minute, "English or French?"

"Can't make up my mind."

"You know you're not much help."

Kitty turned to John and gave him a little push, "hey, I thought you were helping me?"

John started to laugh, "all right, let me see." They went through a slew of names and their laughter could be heard down the street. "Come on now John, I need you to be serious; I really need a name. I'm opening in less than a month."

John paused, "have you thought about using your name?"

"For a while, yes, but I thought that might be a little too egotistical."

"It is your restaurant."

"I know but giving it my name, well, I don't know."

"What about one of the children?"

"Who would I choose without making the other feel slighted?"

"I see your point." John shook his head in agreement. "What about your last name?"

"Dillon?"

"No, I was thinking more of Russell."

"I don't know." Kitty thought a moment, "just Russell, huh?"

"How about Russell's?" John put his hands up and connected his thumbs framing the spot on the wall. "Just plain Russell's."

Kitty continued to stare at the building. "You know John I think that will look real nice up there." She looked through John's hands and agreed with his positioning of the sign. "Now, I just have to find someone to make it."

John turned toward Kitty, "I might be able to help you there. One of my patients just happens to be one of the finest sign makers in the city." He put his arm around her waist, "why don't we go and see Joel now…that is if you have the time."

Kitty smiled, "Katie will be asleep for a little while yet, let's go."

Joel Adams was a second generation sign maker. Joel presented Kitty with many options and she found his taste very similar to hers. Kitty was a little concerned about the deadline but Joel assured her the sign would be on her building before the opening. She extended her hand, "thanks so much Joel. It has really been a pleasure during business with you. Oh, and if you would like to come down to the restaurant one night, dinner is on me."

Joel smiled as he shook her hand, "thank you very much Kitty, I look forward to it."

As they were leaving the shop Kitty turned to John, "that sign is going to be magnificent. John, thank you so much." She grabbed him into a hug and kissed his cheek.

He held her by the arms and smiled, "you are very welcome."

Kitty turned to leave and then turned back and called to John. "Are you doing anything for dinner?"

John shrugged, "didn't have any plans."

"Then come home and have dinner with us. That's the least I can do to thank you for your help today."

John smiled, "I think I would like that, thank you."

Matthew was running around the house and Katie was starting to stir. It had been hours now and Matt was starting to worry. "Maggie, if Kitty doesn't make it back when Katie needs to be fed, what do we do?"

"Matt I'm sure she'll be back."

"But what if she isn't?"

"I have formula here and I have the bottles."

Matthew came running into the kitchen as Katie began to whimper. Matt scooped Matthew up in his big arms and brushed the boy's hair off his face. "I wish I knew where your mother was son."

"Mama?"

"Yes, your mother." Matt heard the front door and as he entered the hallway Kitty and John came through the door laughing. "Imagine if I named it that!"

"People would certainly get the wrong idea!" They continued laughing as Matt approached.

Kitty walked toward her two men, ran her hand over Matthew's hair, and then kissed Matt. "Matt, I want you to be the first to know that the restaurant has a name."

Matt looked down at Kitty and then over at John. "Looks like I'm the second to know."

"Well, John was there in the middle of my decision making that's true but you're the first to know."

"And what name did you come up with?"

"Russell's."

"Oh?"

"Can you believe it? I never thought about my maiden name. If it wasn't for John, well, we'd still be thinking about it."

Matt eyed John then looked back at Kitty, "took you a long time to just think about it."

Kitty placed her hand on Matt's chest, "that's because one of John's patients is a sign maker. He took me over there to get the ball rolling."

"Well John, I see you've been a big help today." Matt stared at the doctor.

Kitty then took Matt's arm, "you can't imagine how much. John is going to stay for dinner so let me get you gentlemen a drink…" Kitty heard Katie begin to cry. "Help yourself gentlemen I have a very hungry young lady to feed." Kitty left the room and Matt turned to John as he extended his arm toward the liquor cabinet. "Shall we?" Silently John walked in front of Matt and toward the cupboard.

There was very little discussion at dinner. Kitty did most of the talking as she outlined all the things that needed to be done before her grand opening. Matt and John listened intently as Maggie watched both men. Matthew decided that he would look better wearing his food so Kitty excused herself as she took him up to change. Maggie could sense the tension in the room but she had no clue why. Finally Matt looked up from his meal, "that boy never sits still." He shook his head, "I guess I was pretty much the same when I was his age."

John smiled, "I guess we all were."

Matt paused, "didn't have any patients today?"

"No, I try and take some time off during the week even if it is for just a few hours."

"I see." Matt stared at John, "well, thanks again for helping Kitty today. I know how much opening on time means to her."

John smiled, "it was my pleasure."

Maggie thought she saw Matt bristle at John's comment and then he fell silent again. She was a little surprised to see Matt react this way because she has never seen Kitty anything but so totally dedicated to him. On the other hand, John was certainly much happier when Matt was still in Dodge and Kitty and he were alone. Maggie made a mental note to keep an eye on her two friends. "OK, Matthew is back," Kitty sat the boy in his highchair. "What did I miss?" They all looked at each other. Matt cleared his throat, "I thanked John for helping you today."

Kitty could tell by Matt's face something was wrong. John stood, "I want to thank you for a wonderful dinner but I believe I should earn my keep sometime today so I'm going to head over to the hospital." Kitty began to stand, "No, no, now, you all stay where you are. I can find my way out. Good night now." In unison they all replied, "good night."

Kitty was sitting in the chair by the French doors in the bedroom as Katie finished feeding. Matt entered the room wearing the silk pajama bottoms Kitty had purchased last Christmas. He wasn't comfortable in them yet but he knew how much it pleased her so he made a point to wear them. She watched him get into bed and she shook her head. After all these years he still excited her and she looked forward every night to be lying next to him. He looked over at her and smiled then opened a book and began to read. As soon as Katie finished eating, Kitty gently laid her in the bassinet and made her way to bed. She climbed under the sheets, "She's such a slow eater."

Matt didn't look up, "Hmm?"

"I said our daughter is such a slow eater."

Matt still didn't look up, "I guess it's because she's a girl."

"Matt, I think you better put the book down and talk to me." He closed the book, laid it on the nightstand, and turned to look at Kitty. "All right Matthew Dillon what is wrong?"

He stared at her but he couldn't put what he was feeling in words, "It's nothing Kitty, come here." He grabbed her in a bear hug and kissed her forehead. "You want a back rub?"

"What I want is for my husband to tell me what is troubling him, that's what I want."

"Kitty, if I knew myself I'd tell you."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Just that. I don't know what I'm feeling."

Kitty sat to face Matt, "can you give me a hint?"

"Foolishness."

Kitty let out with a slight laugh, "what?"

"I guess it bothered me a little that you spent the day with John and he came up with the name for your restaurant and I couldn't."

Kitty gave Matt a face, "technically, it's our restaurant and, for the record, neither one of us could come up with a name. Well, maybe if we spent more time thinking instead of other more pleasurable things who knows." Kitty smiled as she ran her hand down his chest, "I don't know about you but, personally, I'd rather spend our time loving each other instead of naming buildings." She continued to rub his chest, "I was very glad John came when he did."

"Oh and why's that?"

"Because that's one less thing I have to worry about and now I can concentrate a little more on my husband."

Matt ran his hand down her arm, "do you have anything particular in mind?"

She straddled his body and leaned over to kiss him. "No, I'm going to leave that up to my husband."

He ran his hands up her bare thighs, "Anything?"

"Yes anything, but before we do there is one thing I have to say."

"I knew there was a catch!" Matt formed his lips in a fake pout. Kitty grabbed his face with her hands and kissed his lips. "Matt, I know I've said this before but I guess it needs repeating. There is no man on earth that I love more than you. I will always need you to love me and make love to me for the rest of our lives. No one else exists or will ever exist but you. I know you have this crazy notion about John and I'm not sure how that started but he is only a good friend. I could never see myself with any other man, ever. I love you Matt, I always have and I always will and nothing or no man will ever change that."

Matt stared at Kitty for a moment as he continued to run his hands up and down her bare thighs. "Honey, I don't know why I feel this way sometimes. I know John is a good friend and he took care of you when I couldn't be here. I'm not sure what emotion I feel when I see John with you, crazy male ego I guess." Matt smiled. "There is one thing I do know and that is my life would be so empty if I didn't have you to love." Matt lifted Kitty's nightgown over her body and laid it down on the bed next to him. His hands roamed over every inch of her silky skin, "you are so beautiful." He pulled her closer and kissed her stomach and let his lips continue their ascent to her breasts. Kitty wrapped her fingers in Matt's curly hair as each tender touch of his lips and his hard calloused hands on her back sent pulsating pulses of pleasure throughout her body. He gently laid her on the bed and slowly worked his lips up the inside of her thighs. Her once soft moans became a cascade of louder, more intense shouts keeping in time with the frenetic gyrations of their bodies until he slowed their rhythmical dance to a dawdling pace and waited to hear his name softly uttered from her lips. He leaned over exhausted trying desperately to catch his breath. He started to chuckle, "What's so funny cowboy?"

He breathlessly spoke as he lay on his back, "I was just thinking…that maybe…we're going to have to cut back…on loudly expressing our love. As the children get older….they're going to think…that you're in some kind of pain. I'm not sure I want our son or daughter seeing us, well, you know…"

"Faire l'amour?"

"What?"

"That means make love in French."

Matt brushed Kitty's hair off her face, "sounds rather nice in French."

"I think it's rather nice in any language especially when you're the one I faire l'amour to."

Matt looked over at Kitty and she smiled to see the desire still in his eyes. He reached over and began to run his hand up and down the length of her body. "I would love to fa…fair…"

Kitty put her hand over Matt's lips and smiled, "I would love that too." She signaled for him to come closer as she whispered in his ear. "If we do faire l'amour again do I have to promise to be quiet and not enjoy you as much?"

Matt smiled, "I don't know what it is but I love it when you say that phrase."

"Oh?..Really?..How much?"

"If you give me a minute I'll show you," he mumbled as he worked his way down her neck.

Kitty smiled as he continued down her body, "Uh, with this new noise restriction I just don't know if I can be as active a participant as I've been in the past."

Matt looked up then smiled, "we'll see my love, we'll see."

It was a week before the opening and Kitty was at the restaurant busily making last minute alterations. Festus made his way over to the bar where Kitty was standing, "Miss Kitty, this is the plum purdiest place I'd ever seen." He held his hand up as if taking an oath, "if I'm lyin' I'm dyin' if this here place won't be the busiest place when ya opens."

"It's not opening day I'm worried about Festus but the rest of the time."

"Oh fiddle Miss Kitty, ya don't even have ta worry yaself about nothin' like that." He leaned into Kitty and whispered, "I'll tell ya this here much, the talk 'round these here parts is that people can't wait fer ya ta open ya doors."

"Well Festus, that's good to hear." Kitty was looking down at her checklist when Festus took her arm. "There is somethin' I would like ta talk ta ya 'bout though."

"What's that?"

He brought Kitty over to the corner of the room. "I don't want Sam a hearin' that I'm a talkin' 'bout this but he just got done a tellin' me that he don't have no place to be a stayin'." Festus look down as he tried hard to remember the word Sam used. "He was a..vic…a vic…"

"Evicted?"

"Right ya are. I tolt him he could stay with me upstairs but then I got ta thinkin' that maybe ya should know 'bout it first."

"Oh, poor Sam, first his job now this." Kitty shook her head, "that was very nice of you Festus and if you don't mind, I certainly don't mind." Kitty looked up at the clock, "oh, look at the time, I should be getting home." She grabbed Festus by the arm. "Are you coming home for dinner?"

"Ya betcha, much obliged Miss Kitty."

As Kitty turned to leave she turned back to Festus, "oh and bring Sam too."

Festus winked then smiled, "will do."

Kitty came through the front door as Matthew ran into her waiting arms, "Mama!"

She picked the child up and kissed his cheek. "Miss you mama."

"I missed you too little man." She gave him a big hug.

"As much as you missed me?"

Kitty smiled as Matt made his way into the hallway. "I always miss you my love."

Matt smiled, "That's nice to hear." He bent down and passionately kissed his wife. Matthew intently watched his father and finally lightly tapped on his head. Matt broke away and looked at his son and smiled. He tousled the boy's hair, "seems like I have some competition here." Kitty smiled and Matt wrapped his arm around her waist. They walked down the hallway toward the kitchen as the fragrant aroma of a home cooked meal caught her attention. "Maggie, this smells absolutely…"

"Well, I had a hand in this you know."

"Doc!" Matt took Matthew from Kitty as she ran and hugged her good friend. "Doc, it is so good to see you again." She held him at arms length, "how long can you stay?"

"I told them I wouldn't be back until the end of June. Wouldn't want to miss my grandson's second birthday." He wiggled Matthew's leg. "You look absolutely ravishing for a mother of two my dear."

"They keep me moving, that's for sure, but I have excellent help." She moved over to Matt and put her arms around his waist as he pulled her close.

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "well, I'm glad to see he's good for something. For awhile there all I thought he was good for was keeping you pregnant!"

Matt gave Doc a sly smile as he kissed Kitty on the top of her head, "What can I say doctor, I'm still a very virile man."

Doc tugged on his ear, "well, you better hope that continues…oh…and don't come looking for me to help you when you're not." Doc wore an equally sly smile.

"Oh, you two! Why don't we get ready for dinner?" She looked up at Matt, "I'm first going upstairs to check on our daughter." She shot both men a look and then made her way to the stairs.

It was going to be a beautiful spring day Matt thought as he woke to a cool breeze wafting off the river. It was Kitty's entrepreneurial debut and he was probably more excited about the event then she was. He leaned across her body and whispered in her ear. "Good morning honey, rise and shine, it's your big day."

Kitty turned sleepily toward her husband, "don't remind me, I have so much to do."

Matt gently kissed her lips, "Kitty, I'll be right beside you the whole day so we'll do it together."

"Who's going to watch the kids?"

"Maggie, so you just relax and leave everything to me, OK?"

"OK." Kitty ran her hand down Matt's chest. "You know what else might relax me?"

Matt's eyes smiled, "and what would that be Mrs. Dillon?"

Kitty slapped him, "cowboy, I know you didn't wake me up before the crack of dawn just so you could discuss the opening of the restaurant."

"Why Mrs. Dillon are you questioning my motives?"

She shook her head and smiled, "never question them, just enjoy them."

"Then get ready to enjoy," he smiled as he moved his lips down her neck.

It was two hours before the ribbon cutting and Kitty was running from room to room putting the final touches on the tables and bar. She would step back, shake her head, and then rearrange what she had just done. Matt watched this a couple of times then finally came up behind her, grabbed her around the waist, and slowed her down with a kiss on the neck, "honey, it looks great. Now, why don't you take a deep breath and sit down here and relax a minute." He led her to a chair and sat down next to her.

"Matt, it does look good, doesn't it?"

"It looks beautiful…well…not as beautiful as the woman who I was lucky enough to marry." He smiled, took her chin in his hand, and kissed her.

Kitty ran her hands up and down her arms, "I'm so nervous Matt. I just don't know why."

"Kitty, it's a big day. The Mayor will be here for the ribbon cutting, they'll be newspaper reporters, and all of New Orleans will be watching their new entrepreneur become a huge success."

"Matt, I'm a little confused. Were you trying to make me feel more or less relaxed?"

Matt stood and scooped her up in his arms in a big hug. "Kitty everything is going to be fine. You are an unbelievable business woman, you have impeccable taste in décor, and you are the most sociable person I know. Everyone is going to love this place and they are going to love you! Not as much as me but they will love you just the same."

Kitty looked up into Matt's handsome face. "I love you Matt Dillon."

"I love you too Kitty Dillon. Now, what do you say we have a drink and spend a couple of moments together before the big rush?"

"I'd like that." They walked to the bar and Kitty poured them a drink.

Mayor John Fitzpatrick arrived and Matt and Kitty stood in the entrance way to greet him. He waded through the crowd that had gathered and after shaking hands with his constituents he made his way to where Matt and Kitty were standing. After the introductions were made the newspaper reporters and photographers were poised to record another event in the city. The Mayor took the opportunity to say a few words, "we are here today to officially launch a new restaurant in our fair city and one, I must say, I have been anxiously awaiting its opening. Kitty Russell's family set down roots here many years ago and I'm so glad to see she decided to come home and grace us with her presence again." Matt put his arm around her and held her close. "So," his aide handed him the scissors, "Miss Russell I wish you good fortune and many, many, years of success." The Mayor posed for pictures and once that was over he cut the ribbon. "Now everyone it's time to take a look inside."

Kitty yelled, "drinks are on the house." Everyone roared their approval as the rooms filled up fast. The celebration went on all day with Kitty making the rounds and talking to as many people as she could. She was surprised to see the Mayor still in the room. "Mayor, I hope the fact that you are still here means you are enjoying yourself."

"My dear Miss Russell you have an exquisitely beautiful establishment here and you may count me among one of your many regulars." He took her hand and held it.

"Glad to hear that Mr. Mayor."

The Mayor shook his head, "None of these formalities Miss Russell. Please call me John."

"Then why don't you call me Kitty."

"I would like that very much." His aide walked over and whispered something in his ear. "Seems I have some business to attend to but I want you to know I had a lovely afternoon and I promise you, I will be back."

"I will consider it a privilege to see you again John." The Mayor smiled and kissed her hand. "Good night Kitty." Kitty moved on to the next group and joined in the conversation. Matt was standing at the corner of the bar with Festus. He always admired the grace with which Kitty moved and how easily she responded to people and them to her. He was so proud of his wife and that was quite evident on his face.

"Matthew, ya are one of the most pridesome men I'd ever seen."

"Shows that much Festus?"

"Fiddle, ya hadn't taken your eyes off Miss Kitty not one minute and ya face is prouder then a peacock strutin' in all its glory."

"Well, I'm happy for her Festus and I'm very grateful to you for all you've done."

Festus failed his hand, "Shoot Matthew that wern't nothin'."

"Well, it was a big deal to me. We both had enough on our minds without worrying about being here running the place. I will never forget it." Matt extended his hand, "thank you so much old friend."

Festus shook Matt's hand and smiled. "twent nothin' Matthew. I do anythin' fer Miss Kitty, ya know that."

"I know Festus but I still needed to thank you. Now, if you will excuse me, I think I better be getting home so Doc and Maggie can come down and join in the celebration."

"See ya later Matthew."

The party went on into the early morning hours in sharp contrast to the quiet of the evening in the Dillon house. Matt fed his daughter and Matthew, trying hard to stay awake until Kitty came home, succumbed to sleep. With his little head nestled in Matt's lap and his daughter sleeping in his arms Matt was the happiest man in the world. Matt's eyes were getting heavy and he now wished he hadn't awoken Kitty so early that morning. When Kitty came through the door she looked over at the sofa and saw her husband and children nestled together and Matt with a huge grin on his face. "How'd the rest of the evening go?"

"Matt, I'm so exhausted. If half the people who said they would be back come back…well…I don't know what I'm going to do!"

He switched Katie to his other arm and pulled her closer. "Come here." He kissed her. "I was so proud of you today. Looks like the Mayor took a real shine to you."

"You noticed that too?"

"I noticed a lot of men with you today but it made me smile."

"Oh? Not even a faint touch of jealousy?"

"No," Matt made a face, "I'm trying very hard to work on that." He kissed her, "what'd ya say we put our children to bed and then I'll put you to bed."

Kitty rubbed her neck, "sounds good to me."

Kitty stood and took Katie as Matt held Matthew in his arms and followed Kitty into the hall. Matt looked puzzled, "where's Doc and Maggie?"

"They're sitting outside," Kitty smiled, "they have some catching up to do."

"Honey, you think anything is going to come of their relationship?"

"I sure hope so. Now come on, let's get to bed."

It had been weeks and _**Russell's**_was still the restaurant of choice in the city. Kitty was there every day as Matt took care of the children. Every night she would walk through the door exhausted and Matt would do whatever he could to get her to relax. He woke early one morning and brought her breakfast in bed and while she ate he massaged her feet. "How's that feel?"

"I can hardly eat it feels so good."

"Well, there's plenty more where that came from."

"Oh? Really?" Kitty took her other foot and massaged between his legs.

He grabbed her foot and smiled, "you're not playing fair Mrs. Dillon, now, eat your breakfast." Kitty smiled as she continued to eat her eggs.

As Kitty was upstairs dressing, Matt was sitting on the sofa with Matthew reading his son a children's story. In the middle of the tale there was a knock at the door. "I'm right here Maggie, I'll get it." Matt walked into the hallway holding Matthew and answered the door.

"Matthew Dillon?"

"Yes."

"I'm Captain Eric Fournier of the New Orleans police."

Matt extended his hand, "please to meet you Captain." Matt smiled, "I'm not in any trouble, am I?"

Captain Fournier smiled, "oh...no sir… and I'm sorry if you came to that conclusion. No, I would like to speak with you about a job."

"A job?"

"Can we go sit down somewhere?"

Matt shut the door and then extended his arm to show him into the living room, "sure, please come this way." They sat on opposite sides of the room. "Now, what is this about a job?"

"Well, your wife owns _**Russell's**_ correct?"

"Yes, but I don't' see,"

Captain Fournier raised his hand, "Mr. Dillon,"

Matt smiled, "please, call me Matt."

"OK Matt. We make it a practice to learn about the new faces in our city. Your wife's face has been in the news very often as of late."

Matt looked confused, "you said there is a job. I'm assuming it is not my wife you are looking for."

"No," the Captain smiled, "I will make this very brief. In our investigation we found your background to be very interesting and we are very impressed with it. Normally we hired from within but we have a detective's position available and we all agree that you are a perfect fit."

Matt ran his fingers through his hair and Captain Fournier could sense he was conflicted, "Matt, if you need time to think this over it is fine with us. We realize that this is very sudden but a man with your qualifications doesn't come along very often."

"I do appreciate the offer but I will have to speak with my wife about it. We do have two children and…"

Captain Fournier raised his hand, "I understand completely. Like I said think it over, speak with your wife, we don't need an answer for another couple of weeks." Captain Fournier gave him a card with his address details on it. "Well, I have to be getting back. Nice meeting you Matt." He looked over at Matthew, "very handsome boy, how old?"

"He's going to be two in June."

Captain Fournier smiled then extended his hand. "Hope you'll be able to join us."

Matt smiled as he took the Captain's hand. "It was nice meeting you too, Captain." Matt walked him to the door and closed it behind him.

He was looking down at the card when Kitty came into the hallway. "Who was that?"

"Captain Eric Fournier of the New Orleans police." He shook his head, "he just offered me a job."

Kitty looked worried, "you're not seriously thinking of taking it, are you?"

Matt became a little annoyed, "well, Kitty, I haven't had much time to think about it, the man just walked out the door. I thought I'd put off my decision until we had a chance to talk it over."

"Matt, I don't think taking a job with the police would be a very good idea, do you?"

"I don't know Kitty. I thought we might make that decision together but I see you have your mind already made up." He handed Matthew to her. "Excuse me, I need some air." Before she could say another word Matt was out the front door.


	13. We Can Find A Way

Matt walked aimlessly down the city streets with no particular destination in mind. He knew Kitty would be leaving soon for _**Russell's**_ and that he should be getting home but he just couldn't turn around, not just yet. Eventually he found a bench, sat down, and blankly stared out at the Mississippi. A river boat caught his eye as it glided across the water and a part of him wished he was on it. If someone had told him thirty years ago that one day he would be living in New Orleans with a wife and kids he would have questioned their sanity but, here he was. Thoughts of the high country with its big pines, running streams, and bitter cold days flittered through his mind challenging the decision he made and forcing him to wonder if he had made the biggest mistake of his life straying from his original plan. Matt took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair as his thoughts turned to Kitty. Would he really be happy if she wasn't there to love him and share his life? There had never been any question that she is, and has always been, his reason to live. Then his thoughts turned to Matthew and Katie. Holding Katie's little body on the day she was born was an emotion he had never felt before and was positive would stay with him until he took his last breath. He wasn't sure how long he was sitting on the bench when Matt heard a familiar shuffling of feet. The man sat down next to him, "Not a bad view."

Matt continued to look straight ahead, "it's pleasant enough."

Doc quickly glanced over at Matt, "just thought you take a stroll?"

Matt nodded his head, "something like that."

Doc shook his head, "seems like I'm not going to get much conversation out of you today."

Matt looked over at Doc, "what are you doing down here anyway?"

"I thought I'd take a walk." He continued to pick at his teeth, "you don't have any objections, do you?"

Matt shook his head, "nope, no objections."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

Doc tugged on his ear, "whatever is bothering you enough that you are sitting on a park bench in the middle of the day for no apparent reason."

Matt continued to look straight ahead, "people sit on park benches all the time Doc; I'm not the only one."

"Yeah, and they're probably as troubled as you."

Matt quickly turned toward Doc visibly annoyed, "I'm not troubled Doc. I just needed to take a walk, there is a difference."

Doc looked at Matt equally as annoyed, "well, just in case there was something on your mind I thought I'd find you and see if you needed someone to talk to."

"Kitty send you?"

"Oh for heaven's sake Matt, no, Kitty didn't send me!" Doc gave Matt a disgusted look, "I asked where you were and she said she didn't know that you just left. I knew that didn't sound like you so I decided to take a walk and see if I could find you."

Matt paused, "I was offered a detective position with the New Orleans police. I guess my wife is a little concerned about me being in law enforcement again."

"She say that?"

"No, we didn't discuss it, more like she made the decision for the both of us."

Doc thought a minute, "well, I can't blame her. She had enough worrying in Dodge to last her more than a lifetime and now with the children."

Matt shook his head, "figured you'd feel that way."

"Now, wait a minute here Matt, don't go putting words in my mouth! I can also see your side too." Doc looked at his good friend, "Matt, I want you to listen to me now. Your life has changed a great deal from when we were in Dodge. Back then, you were everything to the people in that town. They looked up to you and respected you and quite frankly thought you were some kind of hero." He rubbed his hand over his moustache, "now I know you never wanted all that adulation, you just did your job, but I'll tell you one thing I'm equally as sure there are days you miss it." Doc took a deep breath, "Matt, back in Dodge you had a purpose, something greater than yourself, and now that's gone. Maybe you're thinking that taking this position with the police might give you back some of that… purpose…I don't know. What I do know is you have a wonderful, loving wife, and two beautiful children that need you as much, if not more, than the citizens of New Orleans." Doc paused, "Matt, as I see it, against all odds you have survived because of two things; my excellent work and your love for Kitty. I had never seen a person fight so hard to stay alive and I know it wasn't because one day you would be able to go off into the mountains to hunt and fish!" Doc shook his head, "No, she was your reason to live Matt and to cause her another day of worry or unnecessary sleeplessness would be a very cruel thing to do." Doc waited for a response but none came. He rubbed his hand over his moustache. "If I was lucky enough to have someone like Kitty love me and give me two beautiful children, well, I wouldn't need anything else in life, I'll tell you that much." Doc stood and looked back at Matt. "I'd think about that." Matt watched Doc walk away.

Kitty had delayed going to the restaurant to wait for Matt to return. She had just finished feeding Katie and decided to read a book. As time went on, her eyes were getting heavy so she closed the book and laid her head against the rocker. The warmth of the day and the quietness of the room brought on deep sleep. She awoke to a room of darkness and quickly stood to put on a light and check on Katie. She sighed as she looked down at her sleeping daughter. "I just wish I knew where your father was Katie."

"He's right here."

Kitty quickly turned, "Oh, Matt. I was so worried." She stood in place waiting for Matt to make the first move.

Matt moved further into the room, "I thought you would have been at the restaurant by this time."

"No, I was waiting for you to come home."

Matt shook his head, "Ah, yes, someone needs to watch the children."

"Maggie could have watched the children Matt. I was waiting to talk to you but if you want to start a fight…"

Matt put his hand up, "I don't know what I want Kitty."

Kitty moved toward him and took his hand and sat him down on the bed. "Matt, talk to me. What's wrong?"

Matt stared straight ahead. "I'm not sure Kitty. I guess I just needed to take a walk."

Kitty ran her fingers through his hair, "Matt, there is something bothering you. I can tell."

Matt looked at Kitty, "honey, I do love you. You know that, don't you?"

Kitty smiled, "yes, I know that."

Matt thought a minute, "I'm not going to lie; I was flattered when Captain Fournier offered me that job but as complimented as I was I wouldn't think of giving him an answer until I had spoken to you because I had you and our children to think of. I guess it disappointed me when you weren't willing to at least hear what I had to say."

Kitty held his face with her hand, "Matt, I'm so sorry I…"

Matt took her hand and kissed it. "I know you are. Truthfully, I can understand why you feel this way, I really can. I put you through a lot back in Dodge." Matt kissed her, "Kitty I sometimes feel so useless. I'm not supporting my family but living off my wife and her success. I just want to have a purpose again."

Kitty smiled, "Matt, you don't think you have a purpose? You are home with our children and in my book that's the most important purpose that life can give."

"I know but isn't that suppose to be the woman's role?"

"Matt, when have we ever needed roles before?" She ran her hand down his face. "Cowboy, I have no problem if you want to run the restaurant and leave the children with me but I truly believe there is no one in this world who I think is better for our children than you, and that includes me."

"Honey, I…"

Kitty put her hand over his lips, "whatever you want to do is fine with me Matt. If the job with the police is going to give you the purpose you need then I think you should take the job. If that is going to make you happy then that is what I want too." She ran her hand down his chest, "the only reason I objected in the first place was a purely selfish one. I love you and I want you here for me and the children. I just don't know what I would do if you weren't here."

Matt smiled, "I love you Kitty. Now why don't you go on down to the restaurant, you're late you know."

"You sure Matt? We could always go to Antoine's for dinner and maybe a walk down by the river afterwards?

Matt stood and pulled her into a big hug, "no, you go on ahead." He kissed her goodbye and then went over to the bassinet and leaned down to look at his daughter. Kitty turned back when she reached the bedroom door, smiled, and wondered.

Matt was reading the paper on the sofa with legs crossed as Matthew entered the room. He looked at his father and quietly walked over to the sofa and began to pull himself up. Matt watched out of the corner of his eye and then reached out and helped Matthew the rest of the way. "Daddy?"

"What son?" Matthew pointed his finger at the newspaper in Matt's hand. "This is a newspaper."

Matthew watched Matt's lips as he repeated the word. The little boy concentrated very hard, "moos pa… pa…"

"Why don't we keep it simple for now? Let's just say paper."

"Pay…pa?"

Matt shook his head, "close enough." He continued to read as Matthew stared up at his father. He looked at Matt's positioned body and tried to cross his little legs one over the other. Matt looked over at his little boy and smiled. He closed the paper and put his arm around his son and pulled him close. "Might be a good time for a nap; what do you say Matthew?" He nodded in agreement and nestled his head on his father's lap. Matt ran his hand over the child's hair as he watched Matthew's little eyes start to close. He shook his head wondering how he could ever think that life anywhere else could be better than this. Kitty came into the room, "cowboy,"

"Shhh," he pointed down at their sleeping son.

Kitty smiled and came close to whisper, "I'm gonna' head for the restaurant but I promise I'll be home early tonight." She ran her fingers through his hair, "seems to me, I haven't tucked you in for a couple of weeks now."

Matt smiled as he ran his finger down her neck, "I'll be looking forward to it Mrs. Dillon." He pulled her down for a kiss then watched her walk out the front door.

Matt was in an exceptionally good mood during dinner which had Doc and Maggie giving each other questioning looks. Matt looked up at the clock and abruptly excused himself and headed upstairs, "well, what in thunder do you think has him so chatty today?"

"I think it might have something to do with Miss Kitty."

"Well, he does have a one track mind you know."

Maggie gently nudged Doc, "Galen, I think it's nice that after all these years he still loves her so much."

Doc tugged on his ear, "that he does Maggie and I can fully understand it. What she sees in him I'll never know!"

Maggie shook her head, "oh you, anyway, he was out most of today shopping and when he came back he headed straight upstairs."

"Hmm…upstairs you say?" Doc rubbed his hand over his moustache, "maybe we should find something to do tonight."

"Why do you say that Galen?"

Doc gave Maggie a sly smile "Because I don't think either one of us will be getting much sleep if he's planning something for upstairs. Why don't we take our coffee and sit outside and talk about our evening."

Maggie smiled, "I think that sounds wonderful." They grabbed their cups and Doc placed his hand around Maggie's waist and escorted her out to the porch.

Matt had just finished drying himself off as he rubbed the new fragrance that Kitty had bought him over his naked body. He wasn't used to splashing anything on his skin but he wanted everything to be special tonight. He climbed into his satin bottoms and went to work decorating the room with the countless candles he brought that afternoon. He threw on a robe and ran downstairs to retrieve the champagne from the ice box and fill a pail with the frozen liquid to keep the bubbly cold. He swiped the strawberries off the counter and made his way back upstairs. He lit the candles and made his way over to the bassinet as he removed his robe. He leaned down and whispered, "Katie, if you could just give your mommy and me some time tonight it would mean a lot to your old daddy." He climbed into bed amid the dim light and waited for his wife.

"Sam, I've never seen this place so busy."

"That's true enough Miss Kitty but it's good for business."

"And I was foolish enough to think I could leave early tonight!"

"Miss Kitty, if you have something to do I think I could manage alone."

Kitty grabbed his arm, "Sam, I wouldn't dream of leaving you here alone."

Festus came up with another barrel of beer. "Miss Kitty, I don't remember workin' this hard 'fore in my life." He ran his arm across his forehead, "whew!"

"I appreciate it Festus," Kitty poured a cold beer, "This one's on the house."

"Much obliged Miss Kitty." Festus downed the foaming liquid as Kitty smiled.

"Hey Kitty, how's about another cold one down here?" Kitty poured a beer and made her way down to her customer, "Here you go Randy."

He grabbed her arm as she was about to leave. "You are one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen, you know that?"

"Well, thank you very much but," she pointed to the lights, "excellent lighting."

"Lighting or no I still think you're beautiful."

She removed her arm from his grasp and patted his hand, "I thank you again for the compliment but I have to keep moving tonight."

As she made her way down the bar John Chapman waded his way through the crowd. "My, my, I don't know what you're selling but it seems everyone in town wants it."

She smiled, "John," she gave him a kiss. "What would you like?"

"My usual." John surveyed the room as Kitty laid the drink in front of him. "Kitty you have done a wonderful job with this place and I sincerely hope that every night is going to be like this."

"John, I hope so too except I think if this really keeps up it'll kill me!" She smiled, "I'm certainly going to have to hire more help."

John threw down his drink, "well, I just stopped in for a nightcap. Got early morning rounds. Good night Kitty." He kissed her on the cheek and left the bar.

As the last few customers were finishing up their drinks Kitty sat in a nearby chair rubbing her feet. "I knew I should have worn more comfortable shoes tonight."

"Miss Kitty, why don't you go home? Festus and I can handle the closing."

Kitty looked up at Sam and winked, "Sam, I think I will." She put her shoes back on and headed for the door.

"Oh, and Miss Kitty I had Festus get a coach to take you home. It should still be outside."

Kitty smiled, "I don't know what I would do without you Sam. Good night."

"Good night Miss Kitty."

Kitty waved, "Oh, and say good night to Festus for me."

"I will. See you tomorrow."

Kitty could barely make it up the steps to the second floor. She entered the bedroom as a few candles still flickered light against the wall. She noticed the strawberries and the champagne as she went into the other room to change. Draped across the counter was a beautiful silk gown that Matt must have purchased that afternoon. She quickly undressed, leaving her clothes on the floor, and slid the gown over her head. She loved the way the material felt against her skin and she could hardly wait for Matt to see her in it. She made her way to bed and got under the sheets. She moved closer and smiled when she realized Matt was wearing the new scent she had purchased. She ran her hand over his bare chest and nibbled at his neck. Matt slowly turned toward her trying to focus his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Almost two."

"So much for early."

"Matt, I have never seen that place so busy before. I couldn't very well leave Sam all by himself."

"No, I understand." He turned on his side and Kitty stared at his back.

She leaned in to him and whispered in his ear as her hand ran down the front of his body. "I just love my new nightgown. Maybe my husband would like to give me the chance to show him how much I love it…and him." Her hand reached inside his bottoms and Matt let out with a low groan. He grabbed her hand and turned back toward her. "We haven't been together for weeks. I don't think another night will do any harm." Kitty stared at Matt puzzled, "I guess I went overboard to make tonight a special one for both of us. I should have known something would come up and our plans would be broken. Kitty, I just want to go back to sleep. Maybe you should blow the remaining candles out and there are strawberries if you're a mind to have some but I think the champagne might be warm by now." He turned and lay on his side again. Kitty got out of bed and walked over to the bassinet. She gazed down at her daughter and smiled. She moved toward the still lit candles and carefully blew each out. She ate a few strawberries as she leaned against their headboard. As awake as she thought she was her eyes swiftly closed and sleep took her.

She woke to a crying child and hurriedly ran to the bassinet. "Come on now Katie, mama's got you." She sat down in the rocker and moved the strap of the nightgown down her arm until the material freed her breast. She ran her fingers through the child's hair and down her face as she rocked her daughter back to sleep. Without her knowing, Matt was watching his wife feeding their daughter, a sight he never tired seeing. He smiled still transfixed by the beauty of the woman he married. He was pleased that the gown was a perfect fit and he found it more appealing with her one breast exposed. Katie has finally fallen to sleep and Kitty slowly stood to put her back in the bassinet. She started to lift the strap back up her arm, "I would leave that right where it is."

"Well, look who's awake." She started to remove her other strap.

"Uh, uh, uh, why don't you leave that for me?"

She continued to approach the bed, "Oh, so I see you've forgiven me for last night?"

"I don't know if I've totally forgiven you. I went to a lot of trouble to make this room as romantic as I could not to mention buying you the most perfect piece of material your body has ever worn."

"And what's so perfect about this gown?"

He reached out, grabbed her, threw her over his body, and down on the bed beside him. "When it's off your body." He ran his hand up her legs then lifted the light cloth over her head. He stared down at her naked body and wondered how he could ever think of sleep when she was lying next to him. He quickly removed his pants and settled next to her.

"So what do I have to do to get back in your good graces, cowboy?"

"Hmm…," he ran his hand up and down her body, "I'm sure we can work something out." Kitty let out with one of her throaty laughs as Matt smothered her body with kisses.

A week later Matt stood outside police headquarters on Perdido Street staring up at the entrance way. Kitty had left the decision up to him and since then he had more than one sleepless night. He took a deep breath and entered the building. Once inside he stood for a minute and took note of the dark hallways and close quarters and the ever present hum of voices. He tried to find someone to ask a question but everyone was otherwise occupied so Matt thought he'd take this opportunity to observe. Across the room were two men sitting on a bench who were handcuffed to the wall. He had seen so many men like them over the years, ones who wouldn't give a second thought to slitting a person's throat. His focus was diverted to a police officer emerging from one of the rooms consoling a woman whose husband was just killed in the line of duty. As the woman and the officer passed him two other officers followed behind complaining about the overabundance of paperwork. The vocal din was replaced by an explosion of ramblings from a deranged man promising to kill anyone who had a hand in his capture. He stood for a few more minutes deep in his own thoughts when a voice from behind him spoke. "Can I help you with something?"

Matt turned, "I'm looking for Captain Fournier."

"Have an appointment?"

"Well, no, not exactly. He just told me to come in to talk with him when I was ready."

The officer eyed Matt, "bein' kinda secretive aren't you?"

"Not trying to be. That's exactly what the Captain said."

"You better follow me." He quickly turned back to Matt, "no funny business either."

Matt put his palms up, "None from me officer."

When they came to the Captain's door the officer gave his superior a funny look as he pointed to Matt with his thumb. "This guy said he wanted to see you, has no appointment though."

Captain Fournier saw Matt and smiled, "Well, well, Matt I was beginning to think I was never going to hear from you. Please come in, thank you Joe. Sit right over here…that's it… now… are you here to give me an answer?"

Matt dropped his head a minute. "Captain, I can't tell you how much time I thought about this and how many conversations I had with my wife about the position you offered me. I have to say that she was a little resistant. I put her through a lot in my former job."

"I don't know your wife but I gather she is an exceptional woman."

"There is no one more exceptional." Matt smiled, "as much as I would love the opportunity to protect the citizens of this city and as much as I believe I could do a good job here I'm going to have to respectfully decline your offer."

"Sorry to hear that Matt. I was hoping that after deliberating for so long it might have been a more positive response."

"Captain, if I was here on my own I would have accepted in a heartbeat. You seem to have a fine place here but I have a wife and two children to worry about and they have to be my priority now."

Captain Fournier stood and came around his desk as he extended his hand. "Matt if you ever change your mind, please don't hesitate to come see me. I still believe you would make a damn fine detective."

Matt stood and shook his hand, "I appreciate that and I will remember, thank you."

"I'll find Joe to help you out of here."

Matt shook his head, "no need, I can find my way out, thanks."

Captain Fournier watched as Matt walked down the hall. He shook his head, closed the door, and went back to work.

When Matt walked through his front door, Kitty was coming down the stairs. Matt waited until she reached the first floor and grabbed her into a very long passionate kiss. "What did I do to deserve that hello, cowboy?"

"Can't a man show his wife how much he loves her?"

Kitty shot Matt a sly look, "oh? I thought you did that only in the privacy of our own bedroom."

Matt looked all around him, "Kitty now…."

Kitty nudged him, "don't worry cowboy, your secret is safe with me."

He shook his head and grabbed her around the waist, "never mind. Let's go see our children." Kitty put her arm around him and laughed as they headed down the hallway.

Kitty was looking forward to this New Year's. The reservations for that evening at the restaurant were booked with a waiting list. Doc had managed to return for Katie's birthday and Christmas and now her family and friends would be celebrating together at _**Russell's **_to ring in the New Year. This was a big night for her and she eagerly arrived early at the restaurant to make sure everything was just perfect. The place was humming with excitement when Doc and John arrived. "Where's Matt and Maggie?"

"They're upstairs putting the children to sleep." Doc looked around the room, "Kitty, by golly, look at the people here. You certainly have the magic touch, young lady."

Kitty smiled, "well, I hope it continues Doc. It just might be a novelty now."

Doc tugged on his ear, "with the most beautiful woman in all of New Orleans running the place how can it lose?"

Kitty pointed her finger at Doc, "now, that just got you a free drink. What would you like?"

"Whiskey will be fine."

Kitty turned to John, "Your usual John?"

"That'll be fine."

"OK men, follow me. I'll take you to your table and I'll be right over with your drinks."

Matt entered the restaurant and caught Kitty's eye. She smiled and made her way over to him. "What can I get you cowboy?"

Matt put his hands on the sides of her waist, "you look beautiful tonight Kitty."

"Well, thank you kind sir I…." another party came to the door and she quickly turned her attention to them. "Excuse me Matt." She smiled as she went to the podium, "Your name?"

"Hollingsworth,"

Kitty grabbed some menus, "follow me Mr. Hollingsworth." Matt watched as Kitty escorted the party of four to their table. She quickly returned profusely apologetic, "I'm so sorry Matt. Why don't I bring you over to our table and I'll get you a drink. What'd you have?" Another group entered the restaurant and she hurriedly met them at the podium. As Matt again watched another group be seated he noticed Doc waving in his direction. Kitty raced back to him but he pointed toward Doc, "I'll seat myself." Kitty thought she heard annoyance in his voice but she was again needed at the front door so she couldn't dwell on it.

Matt pulled back his chair as Doc looked up. "Where's Maggie?"

"Matthew is having a little problem going to sleep. I wanted to stay but Maggie insisted I come down to be with Kitty."

Doc rubbed his hand over his moustache, "well, I'll be darn gone. She is something, I'll tell you that."

Matt took a sip of his drink, "If she doesn't come down soon I'll spell her in a little while. Tonight I'll be lucky if Kitty even acknowledges me at the stroke of midnight." Matt downed the rest of his drink and signaled for another one. Doc looked over at Matt. He thought he had noticed a slight strain between his good friends this trip and was hoping Matt wasn't going to do anything stupid. If he couldn't see what a wonderful life he had here, well, it would be left up to him to reinforce that thought in Matt's mind. Kitty came over and sat next to Matt. "How's everyone doing?"

Doc moved in his chair to face Kitty, "just fine Kitty, just fine. It's a wonderful crowd tonight." Maggie approached the table and Doc stood and helped settle her into the chair.

"Maggie, are you just coming from upstairs?"

"Yes, Miss Kitty. Matthew was having a hard time falling asleep but he's fine now. I'll go up in awhile to check in on him."

"You'll do no such thing Maggie, you've done enough. I'll check in on the children for the rest of the night, you just relax. Anyway, Doc's been a little lonely down here without you." Maggie blushed.

Matt was running his hand up and down Kitty's back. He could hear the conversation but his mind was elsewhere. If someone could grant him a wish for the coming year it would be for things to go back to what they were when they first came to New Orleans. He continued to sip his drink and privately reminisce as they spoke around him. He finished his drink and signaled for another. Kitty had noticed how quiet he was and for the short time she had been there he had gone through three drinks, which was uncharacteristic for him. He felt her leave his hand and looked up to watch her leave. He was starting to feel the effects of the drinks and even he had to admit he was drinking rather heavily tonight. Kitty came back with two bottles of champagne as the clock neared midnight. Someone in the crowd yelled "Happy New Year" as Doc grabbed his pocket watch and nodded. John began to open the bubbly and pour it in everyone's glass and the good friends toasted to another year together. Kitty turned to Matt, "Happy New Year cowboy, I do love you." Matt smiled, "Happy New Year Kitty, I love you too." Matt leaned down to passionately kiss his wife when a group of revelers grabbed Kitty to toast her and her future success. Matt slowly let go of his wife and stood watching as Kitty disappeared in the crowd. He threw down the champagne and made his way upstairs. He entered the room and walked over to his sleeping children. Maybe it was the effect of the alcohol but he could feel his eyes filling with tears. He leaned down and gently stroked Matthew's head and then walked over and looked into Katie's bassinet and smiled down at his little girl. He had so many thoughts running through his head when he felt a gentle hand run up his back. "Sometimes I can't believe they're ours."

Matt turned toward Kitty, "why do you say that?"

She put her arms around his waist, "I just never thought we'd get married in time to have children. You have to admit it took extraordinary circumstances for you to finally give up the badge." She laid her head on his chest, "I sometimes wonder if I didn't get pregnant when I did what our lives would be like now."

Matt rested his head on hers, "I don't know Kitty, I really don't know."

She looked up at him, "do you still think we'd be in Dodge?"

"Maybe, why are you bringing this up now?"

"Cause I feel there is some part of you that feels cheated. That you were forced to change your life before you were ready to."

Matt stroked her hair, "Kitty that's ridiculous. You know how much I love you and how much I wanted to marry you. Whether Matthew came along or not we were going to be married."

"I know, but it was going to be on your schedule." She ran her hands down his chest, "I can't help but think that some part of you still needs to play that out."

Matt kissed her, "Doc been giving you lessons on analyzing people, has he?"

Kitty shook her head, "no, I just know my husband."

Matt smiled, "honey, where you are is where I want to be you know that. It's just that this has been a big adjustment for me and I guess I need some more time." He ran his hands up and down her back, "you better get downstairs, I'm sure you've been missed."

"Matt?"

He smiled, "what?"

"Why don't we stay here for the night? I really don't want to disturb the children to bring them home and," she ran her hand down his stomach, "I don't think we've christened this apartment yet."

Matt looked over toward the bedroom door. "I was interested in trying out that bed but…umm…we don't have a change of clothes."

Kitty shook her head, "hmm…and how would we ever sleep without our bed clothes?"

"Oh? I didn't realize our objective tonight was to sleep." She threw back her head and laughed as Matt pulled her into a passionate kiss.

"You go over there and keep that bed warm. I'll be up as soon as I can." She kissed him and then swatted his rear as she left the room. He checked again on the children and then made his way to the bedroom happy that he didn't have to go back downstairs. He undressed and slowly lay his body down on the bed. The cool sheets felt good against his warm skin and before long he gave into sleep. An hour later Kitty entered the bedroom and found Matt sleeping so she went to check on the children. Both babies were sleeping soundly so she brought her fingers to her lips and lightly touched each of their cheeks. "Sweet dreams little ones." As she entered the bedroom she began to remove her clothing and lay them over the chair in the corner of the room. She was too tired for her normal bedtime ritual so she slipped under the sheets and stared up at the ceiling. After awhile she snuggled her body up against Matt's but he didn't move. She ran her foot down his long leg but still no response. Knowing how light a sleeper Matt is she began to worry that something was terribly wrong. She turned his body on his back and lightly slapped his face. "Matt…Matt…it's Kitty." He still didn't respond, "it's Kitty I said. Come on cowboy wake up." She was beyond worried and made a move to get Doc. As she turned to leave a hand grabbed her arm. She quickly turned back to find Matt wearing a silly grin with one eye open. She smacked his chest, "you gave me a fright Matthew Dillon not to mention that you could have woken the children."

"Why? I was pretty quiet I thought."

She slapped him again, "you are incorrigible!

Matt continued to laugh, "Come here," he pulled her closer to him, "let me see if I can make it up to you."

Kitty lay in Matt's arms as he lightly ran his hand down her back. "How do you feel now?"

She smiled up at him, "you certainly know how to celebrate the New Year."

"It's easy when I'm celebrating it with you."

She kissed his chest and then found herself running circles around the wound that forced her to leave Dodge for Ballard. The light touch of her nails on his chest was making him feel drowsy. "I almost made the biggest mistake of my life then."

"Hmm?"

"When I left Dodge for Ballard." She shook her head, "I wouldn't have been happy there."

"Now you tell me," Kitty looked at his face and in the soft glow of the oil lamp Matt was smiling.

"Matt I don't think I ever told you this but I was so surprised to see you standing in the doorway of the Nugget that night."

"Why were you surprised? Didn't you think I was going to come for you?"

"Frankly, no."

Matt sat up a little, "how could you think that?"

"Because you never did that before; you'd just let me go off and wait until I returned."

"Yeah, well, you never took half interest in a saloon before." He sat up even more, "And why did it take you so long to return anyway?"

Kitty smiled, "Claire and I had a lot of legal paperwork to take care of before I left and," she sat up and looked into Matt's beautiful blue eyes. "Besides I thought if you waited long enough my welcome home would be something to remember" Kitty ran her hand down his chest and past his stomach, "and that it was."

Matt laid his head back down on the pillow thoroughly enjoying Kitty's soft touch. "Honey?"

Kitty intently watched Matt's face, "Hmm?"

"Do you think we could ever duplicate that night?"

"I don't know. That was a night for the ages!"

He opened his eyes and smiled at her, "I'm a little older now but I'm willing to try."

Kitty smiled, "if you're only half as good I remember…" Matt covered her mouth with his to compete with a memory.

It was an unseasonably cool brisk day in February with the wind howling off the river. The fourteenth of the month was always a very special day for Kitty. There were very few years that Matt was home on that day so the ones they could spend together she made the most of. She thought how ironic it was that this year she would be the one who wouldn't be home. She wanted nothing more than to spend the evening with Matt but she knew it was going to be another packed house at the restaurant and since it was still in its infancy she had to be there. Kitty was making her way down the stairs when John entered the front door. "John, what brings you here in the middle of the day? Is everything all right?"

"Oh, fine Kitty, just fine. I have a package here for Maggie."

Kitty looked at the box, "delivered to you?"

"I guess Galen is still very worried about people finding out where you are."

"How do you know it's for Maggie?"

"He sent me a letter awhile back telling me that he would be sending correspondence to Maggie through me. When the return address had Galen in it I would know it was for her and then when she replies she is to write my return address on the envelope."

Kitty took the package in her hand, "Hmm…I wonder what it could be?" She gave John a smile. "Do you want to deliver it personally?"

"I don't think that's necessary. You can be the messenger if you'd like." John reached to open the door. Kitty followed, "thanks John for stopping by." John smiled, "see you later."

Kitty made her way to the kitchen. Maggie was preparing lunch as Kitty approached. "Maggie, John brought a piece of mail for you." Maggie reached over and took the package from Kitty's hand. She looked down, glanced at the return address, and began to tear away at the brown wrapping. A note accompanied the package which Maggie placed on the counter as she continued to open the box. "Oh, Maggie, it's beautiful." Maggie stared down at the cameo pin and her hand shook a little. Maggie shook her head, "well, he shouldn't have, this is too much."

Kitty reached over and took the pin from her hand. "Here let's put it on." Kitty arranged it on her blouse as she chuckled. "I didn't know Doc had this kind of taste!"

Maggie started to blush, "neither did I."

Kitty rubbed Maggie's arm, "Maggie, why don't you go upstairs and relax in your room and read the letter Doc sent you. I can handle lunch from here."

Hesitant at first, Maggie then took the letter and proceeded up the back staircase. She entered her room and closed the door. She carefully opened the envelope and stared at Doc's script.

_My dearest Margaret,_

_I am so sorry I am unable to be there to give this present to you. I so wanted to see your expression and be the one to pin it on but we have had a bad winter here and my replacement decided it was too much trouble to travel. I am very lonely here with only Newly as my last remaining friend in Dodge. He has been so busy lately helping Alex and running his shop that he hardly has time to visit. I go to the Long Branch for a nightcap and talk to some of the regulars but it is nothing like spending time with you. I miss your company so much and I have come to realize that no amount of people or friends here in Dodge can ever replace you for even in a crowd I feel alone. Take this gift as a very small token of my fondness for you and when you wear it keep it close to your heart for that is where I want to be. Happy Valentine's Day Margaret. _

_Yours always,_

_Galen_

Maggie re-read the letter and the tears began to stream down her cheeks. She couldn't remember a time in her life when she was happier then she is now. Working for Matt and Kitty was joy enough and having Galen in her life was beyond anything she could ever wish for. She eventually composed herself and made her way down to the kitchen. Kitty was just finishing up and turned as Maggie was entering the room. She could see that Maggie had been crying. "It's not bad news, is it Maggie?"

Trying to hold back the tears, "Oh, no, Miss Kitty. It's nothing but good news." Kitty reached over and grabbed her in a big hug as Maggie couldn't hold her joy in any longer.

Matt entered the bedroom as Kitty was getting dressed. She had picked the red dress Matt had bought her on one of their trips to St. Louis to wear for the evening. He smiled as he approached her, "Here, let me help you with that." He finished buttoning up the back of the garment.

Kitty turned and placed both her hands on his chest, "thank you cowboy." She stared up into his striking blue eyes. "Matt, I feel so bad leaving you tonight."

He ran his hands down her arms, "Kitty, I'll be fine here. Besides, I think we celebrated Valentine's Day this morning if I recall but if you need something to refresh your memory…"

She smiled, "I'll see what I can do about getting home a little earlier tonight." She leaned up to kiss him, "I'll see you later cowboy."

Matt had just put Matthew down for the night and checked in on a sleeping Katie. He came down the stairs and Maggie was sitting in the living room wrapped up in her own thoughts. He sat in the chair across from her and picked up the newspaper. The rustling of the paper broke Maggie from her reverie. "Children all asleep?"

Matt looked up and smiled, "sound asleep."

Maggie returned his smile. Matt's eye caught the piece of jewelry on Maggie's blouse. "Is that a cameo you're wearing?"

Maggie began to blush. "Yes."

Matt smiled, "it's very nice. I don't remember you wearing this before, is it new?"

"Received it today."

"Oh?"

"Galen sent it."

Matt began to laugh, "Doc?" Then he caught himself and cleared his throat, "I mean I never knew Doc to give such a beautiful piece of jewelry to anyone, ever."

Maggie ran her fingers over the pin, "it is beautiful, isn't it?"

Matt got up and sat next to Maggie, "I'm happy for you Maggie and I'm happy for Doc. He's a good man, a real good man."

"I know Matt, I really do."

Matt stood, "I think we should toast our good friend, what'd you say?"

Maggie stood, "I'd like that Matt." Matt poured Maggie a glass of red wine and he a tumbler of bourbon. He raised his glass and Maggie followed suit. "To Doc, one of the finest men I have ever known." They clinked glasses and took a drink, "and to the day that he is able to stay here for good," they took another drink.

"Matt?"

"Yes?"

"I can manage here. Why don't you go down to _**Russell's**_ and spend some time with Miss Kitty on Valentine's Day."

"I don't want to leave you alone here with the children Maggie."

"Matt, don't be foolish. I appreciate your concern but I think it's much more important for you to be with your lovely wife tonight."

Matt smiled, "let's just hope my lovely wife has time for me."

"Well, you can always come home if she doesn't but I think you should make an effort."

Matt nodded in agreement, "then I think I will." Matt grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.

_**Russell's**_ was still humming with Valentine's Day celebrants but was now somewhat more manageable. Kitty was making her way around the room stopping long enough for a quick chat with the dinner crowd and basking in their lavish compliments. She looked up from one conversation to see Matt entering the room. A smile lit her face as she excused herself and made her way to Matt. "Well, cowboy, what can I get you?"

Matt wore an equally big smile, "just to spend a little time with my beautiful wife."

"Well then, why don't we make our way to the bar and have a drink."

Matt put his arm around Kitty's waist as they made their way to the bar. "Sam, my husband's usual."

"Sure enough, Miss Kitty."

Matt looked around the room. "Another successful night it seems."

Kitty smiled, "I think you're gonna' have to massage my feet tonight cowboy. What you see now is nothing compared to earlier tonight." She ran her hand down his chest, "I'm so glad you came down Matt."

"Well, you can thank Maggie for that, she was insistent that I stop by." He ran his hand down her arm. "I felt terrible leaving her alone but I'm not sorry now. Kitty you look so beautiful."

"And you're the most handsome man in the restaurant." Matt smiled wanting desperately to hold her.

"Miss Kitty?" One of the waitresses was making her way toward them. "Miss Kitty there's a little problem in the kitchen. Chef wanted me to come get you."

"OK Lorraine, tell him I'll be there in a minute." Lorraine walked away as Kitty grabbed Matt's arm. "You stay right here, our evening is just beginning."

Matt smiled, "I'll be here." Matt watched Kitty walk away and then he heard the familiar jangling of spurs and turned to see a hand outstretched. "Matthew, ya a sight for sore eyes. Come down to see Miss Kitty, have ya?"

"Yes, but I can still have a drink with an old friend. Sam, when you get the chance a drink down here for Festus."

"Sure thing."

Matt and Festus moved to the end of the bar to continue their conversation. The bar was packed with men who Matt assumed weren't lucky enough to have someone to love on Valentine's Day. Festus continued to talk about how successful Kitty's business was and how hard he was working and how happy he was that she was doing so well. After awhile Festus' voice was just a humming in his ears as Matt was more interested in what was keeping Kitty. With eyes focused to the back of the building Matt stopped noticing the men at the bar. They, as well as every other man in the room, couldn't help but notice the woman standing in the doorway. The blonde surveyed the space dismissing all the men whose attention she had garnered with her eyes. She was just about to leave when she saw one man standing tall among the rest. Matt sipped his drink patiently waiting for Kitty to return unaware that the willowy blonde had caught him in her sights and was making her way toward him.


	14. Is Love Enough?

Sam placed another drink in front of Matt breaking the self imposed trance he was in. He looked over at Festus who was still talking about some relative who would never believe "he be livin' in such a citified dude way like this," when he felt a gentle stroking on his arm. "Matt? Matt Dillon?" Matt turned and he could feel the blood rush from his face. "It is you, isn't it Matt? It's Cynthia, Cynthia Wallace." Matt didn't answer. "I can't believe you don't remember me." She moved closer, "we had quite the night together…remember?" Matt could feel the envious glares from all the men standing at the bar as she continued to stroke his arm. "I just can't believe my luck finding you here." She positioned her body up against Matt's as she stroked his chest. "The nights in Denver have been very cold without you." He stepped back and tried desperately to put distance between them but she kept close. "Where are you staying Matt, I'll have my bags sent to your room. We have a lot of catching up to do." Festus had never seen Matt this uneasy before and although he didn't know who she was he knew for certain she was trouble. "I've missed you so much Matt, let's get out of here and have our own private party." She ran her hands down his long frame pulling him ever closer to her. Matt quickly turned to Festus and shoved Cynthia toward him. "Miss Wallace, this is Festus Haggen. Festus, this is Cynthia Wallace. Now, if you will excuse me." Matt turned and bolted for the door. Cynthia tried to run after Matt but Festus had a tight hold on her arm. "Now Miss Cynthia, I was just 'bout to get me a drink. Can I get ya one?" Cynthia struggled to free herself but Festus continued to hold on. "Quit fussin' now and bein' so skittery I'd only asked ya if ya wanted a drink. Ya know you'd be a sight better off ifn' you were more like my Aunt Theo, she'd be the one who married my Uncle Maude, now that there was a shemale who loved a good bottle of hooch. My Uncle Maude made the bestest moonshine that anyone who'd have half a tastey bud had drunk and the hill folk be lookin' up to my Uncle Maude bein' he a busyiness man and all but then there be that fire…." Cynthia freed herself and let out with a disgusted howl.

Kitty had entered the room just in time to see Matt hurriedly exit the restaurant. As she watched Matt head for the door she hadn't noticed the exchange taking place at the corner of the bar until she heard a woman shriek. She looked over at the willowy blonde trying to free herself from Festus' grasp. Cynthia screamed, "Ooh…you…you….scraggily faced, illiterate, excuse for a man. I wouldn't accept a drink from you if my life depended on it." She moved her face closer to Festus, "and if I have lost him because of your incoherent ramblings why I….why I….well…I better not have!" She spun on her heels and headed for the door. Kitty had been moving in that direction and followed her to the street. Cynthia frantically looked up and down Royal Street frustrated that Matt was no where in sight. She let out an exasperated yell. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Cynthia turned and saw Kitty standing there arms folded in front of her. She looked Kitty up and down then snarled as she continued to search for Matt, "what could you possibly help me with?"

Kitty shrugged her shoulders, "seems you're looking for someone. I do know a lot of people in this town. I might be able to direct you."

Cynthia's mood began to brighten as she turned toward Kitty and smiled. "Maybe you can help me. There was a very tall man at the bar tonight his name is Matt Dillon, do you know him?"

"I might. What do you want with him?"

Cynthia shot Kitty an annoyed look, "Nosey aren't you?"

"Not particularly, it's just that I'm not in the habit of directing strange women to one of my better customers without his knowledge."

Cynthia smiled, "oh, believe me honey I'm no stranger to Matt Dillon. I know every inch of that man and I mean every inch."

Kitty smiled and made her way toward Cynthia as she ran her index finger over her lips contemplating her next move. She spoke in a very calm voice, "you must be Cynthia."

Cynthia looked at Kitty confused, "how do you know my name?"

Kitty smiled, "I make it a point to remember the name of the woman who likes to tell lies about my husband."

Cynthia tried to leave but Kitty grabbed both her arms and squeezed them tight controlling her anger as she spoke through clenched teeth. "I feel sorry for women like you who drift through life trying to make trouble for other people."

Cynthia tried to break from Kitty's grasp, "stop, you're hurting me."

"This is nothing compared to what I'm capable of doing to you honey! Kitty noticed the fear in Cynthia's eyes. "You will leave this town tonight and if by some strange coincidence you ever see my husband again you will walk the other way. Do we understand each other?" Cynthia's fear prevented her from answering, "If I see, hear, or find out you are still in this town tomorrow I will have you arrested for prostitution and if for any reason you think I can't do that, just try me. Don't make the mistake of underestimating me missy. Do you understand me?"

Cynthia stared wide eyed as Kitty shook her slightly, "do you understand me?"

Cynthia managed to shake her head affirming her understanding of Kitty's demands. "Good, then I think you have some arrangements to make." She slowly let go of Cynthia's arms as the terrified woman made her way down the street.

Kitty entered the restaurant and Festus walked over to her. "Everythin' OK Miss Kitty?"

Kitty smiled, "everything is fine Festus and thanks for your help." She rubbed the hill man's arm.

Festus flailed his arm, "oh shoot, I didn't do nothin'." Festus moved toward Kitty and whispered, "don't know much 'bout shemales but there be no mistakin' she is a bad 'em."

"She said some horrible things about you Festus. I want to apologize for putting you in that position."

"Golly bill Miss Kitty, ifn' I worried 'bout everythin' that was said 'bout me…well...probably wood have stoved myself away long time ago. She had somethin' to do with Matthew, did she?"

She shook her head, "in her own mind Festus, only in her mind." Kitty took Festus' arm, "why don't you go back to your drink and relax for the rest of the evening, you deserve it. I think I'm going to head on home and be with my husband on Valentine's Day."

"Much obliged Miss Kitty. Hope everythin' will be all right twixt ya and Matthew."

Kitty smiled, "It will be Festus once I get home."

Maggie was surprised to see Matt home so early. Before she could speak he hurriedly ran up the stairs. She sat down in the chair and read her book. She had thoughts of going up to speak with him but then she thought better of it. She had been worried about her good friends since she and Galen began to notice a slight strain in their relationship the last time he was here. She was hoping that Matt's sudden arrival didn't mean they had a disagreement and that the rift was widening between them. She went back to reading when Kitty walked through the front door. Kitty noticed Maggie and walked into the living room. "Everything all right Miss Kitty?"

Kitty smiled, "everything is fine Maggie. Have you seen Matt?"

"He came home a few minutes ago. He didn't say a word just went straight upstairs."

"Thanks Maggie," Kitty turned toward the stairs.

"Are you sure everything is all right?"

Kitty turned and smiled again, "never better Maggie." Maggie smiled as she watched Kitty climb the stairs.

Matt couldn't stop pacing the bedroom floor. He was pretty sure that Kitty hadn't seen Cynthia but everyone else did and if she started to ask questions about his disappearance he was sure she would get an earful. What was he going to tell her? Was she going to think that more took place in Denver then he had told her? What if Cynthia found out where they lived? It was his worst nightmare but unfortunately he wasn't going to wake up and find out it was only a bad dream. He ran his fingers through his hair for the hundredth time when he caught sight of the crib and his sleeping daughter. He leaned over and lightly ran his finger down her arm. For one moment in time he forgot about everything else and concentrated on the beautiful child that he helped create. Kitty stood at the entranceway of their bedroom and watched Matt. She waited a few moments more before she made her presence known. "She's getting so big, isn't she?"

Matt turned quickly and gave her a weak smile, "she is."

"Matt."

Before she could finish her thought Matt quickly grabbed her into a big hug. "Honey, I'm so sorry."

"About what?"

He closed his eyes hoping that she hadn't seen Cynthia but whether she did or not he had to tell her. "There was a little problem tonight at _**Russell's**_."

"Oh?"

He held her by the shoulders and looked into her trusting blue eyes. "Remember when I stayed in Denver I told you about a woman who wouldn't leave me alone?"

"Yeah, what was her name again…Charlotte…Carol…"

"Cynthia, Cynthia Wallace."

Kitty snapped her fingers, "that's right Cynthia. Why are you thinking about her tonight?"

Matt turned away and ran his fingers through his hair. "She's in town."

"Cynthia?"

Matt shook his head, "Yes, and she was in _**Russell's**_ tonight." Matt walked over to the French doors and stared out at the night, "Kitty I was so embarrassed. All the men were looking at me, watching her rubbing her body up against mine, talking like we were old lovers." Matt began to pace. "My only concern, well, besides getting out of there as fast as I could, was you. I could only imagine what everyone was thinking and how humiliated you were going to be. Honey, I don't know how this happened, I swear."

He closed his eyes patiently waiting for Kitty to respond. He wanted so badly to hold her and tell her everything was going to be all right but he thought it best to let her make the first move. It seemed like an eternity before he felt her arms slowly make their way around his waist and her head up against his back. "From what I hear, the gentlemen in the bar were pretty impressed." Matt took a minute to process what Kitty had said before he swiftly turned to see her smile. "You knew about Cynthia?"

Kitty shook her head, "I was coming into the room when you were leaving. I was following after you when I heard this infuriated shout from the bar. When I turned Cynthia was giving poor old Festus quite a tongue lashing for interrupting what, I'm sure she felt, was going to be a night you two were never going to forget."

"I'd like to forget it, I'll tell you that much."

Kitty patted his chest, "don't give it another thought Matt…really."

"But what if she starts snooping around and finds out where we live?"

"Matt, I wouldn't worry about it."

Matt waved his hand. "Well, I think we have to. I mean what if she finds out about you and the children? What if she tries to do something to you?" Matt began to pace again. "She's crazy Kitty, I mean it, she's really crazy and I don't think she'd stop at anything to get what she wants…and unfortunately she wants me at the moment." Matt walked back to Kitty and held her shoulders, "Honey, I couldn't live if anything happened to you or the children, much less if I was the one who caused it. We have to do something."

"Matt, we'll be fine. Come on cowboy it's getting late." She ran her hands up his chest. "I think it's time I tucked you in."

Matt waved off Kitty's invitation, "I can't sleep now!"

Kitty smiled, "exactly what I wanted to hear," she began to undo Matt's shirt. "I really wasn't thinking about sleeping."

Matt stopped her hands, "how can you expect me to make love to you when I'm still so upset over what just happened?"

Kitty looked surprised, "she still has you this upset? Are you sure you told me everything that happened that night?"

Matt turned away and walked toward the French doors. "Of course I did!"

"I'm beginning to think otherwise."

Matt waved his hand, "don't be ridiculous!"

"When my husband refuses to make love to me because of some other woman I don't think it ridiculous!"

Matt turned back toward Kitty, "do you mean to tell me that you might now believe that Cynthia and I…do you think I could ever be unfaithful to you?"

"Well, as you said, she'll stop at nothing."

Matt could feel his anger slowly rising. He hated the position Cynthia put him in and that Kitty couldn't see what a prolonged visit by this mad woman could do to their lives. Kitty was beginning to doubt him and that was what he hated most of all. He stood staring at his wife afraid to say another word thinking it could turn their discussion into a major argument. He felt helpless searching desperately for the right word or gesture to make everything right. "Kitty, how can I make you understand that she is a very dangerous woman." He ran his fingers through his hair, "I have told you everything about that night, everything, I didn't leave anything out, you have to believe me." He walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "My only concern right now is you and our children and your safety. Once she finds out about you…"

Kitty raised her hand, "She knows about me Matt."

"What?"

Kitty turned and walked toward the other room to change, "she knows about me."

Matt followed her, "how do you know?"

Kitty started to undo her dress then gestured for Matt to take over, "because I talked to her."

"Why didn't you tell me this?"

"Well, I tried cowboy but you were so resistant to me tucking you in and…"

He turned her toward him, "never mind that, what happened?"

Kitty gestured for Matt to continue undressing her, "nothing really."

Matt continued his assignment. "What do you mean nothing?"

"Just that Matt. She was looking for you, I asked if I could help, she told me that I couldn't, I told her I knew a lot of people in town, she asked about you, I told her I wasn't in the habit of giving out my best customer's address to a stranger, she informed me that you two weren't strangers, in fact, I think she said something like she knew every inch of you and she meant every inch …"

"She said what?"

Kitty shrugged her shoulders, "that's what she said," Matt let out with a groan, "then I called her by name, she wanted to know how I knew her, and then that's when I told her that I was your wife."

Matt dropped his hands from Kitty's dress, "what happened then?"

Kitty motioned toward her back and Matt resumed disrobing her, "I made it very clear that she was to leave town and never, ever, see you again."

"And that was it?"

"Pretty much."

"And you think she is going to leave town on your say so?"

"Pretty much."

"And would you mind sharing with me how you can be so certain?"

"I told her that if I found out that she was still in town tomorrow I'd have her arrested for prostitution."

Matt shot her a perplexed look, "you couldn't really do that…could you?"

"How would I know, I just filled her head with the belief that if she didn't do as I said life could get very difficult for her."

Matt stood still for a moment. He always admired her ability to handle the most difficult of situations and today was no exception. She stepped out of her dress, put on her nightgown, and turned back toward Matt. She unbuckled his belt and opened the top button to his pants. "Now cowboy, if you're up to it, I think I'd like to know every inch of you…and I mean every inch!"

Matt pulled her into a passionate kiss. He ran his fingers down her face, "I hope I'm able to fulfill your high expectations ma'am."

Kitty ran her hand down past his stomach, "I have no doubt you will cowboy."

Matt smiled and picked her up into his arms and carried her to bed, "Happy Valentine's Day cowboy."

"Happy Valentine's Day, my love."

Kitty was putting the finishing touches on her outfit when Matt came into the bedroom, wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled his face into her neck. "Hmm…you sure know how to make a woman feel good."

Matt looked into the mirror and continued their conversation. "If you want to stay home there's more where that came from."

"Wish I could."

"Why can't you?"

"We have a big party this evening; a good friend of the Mayor's as a matter of fact, so it's important that I'm there," she turned towards Matt, "otherwise you did make a very convincing argument for playing hooky tonight."

Matt smiled, "then since I'm so convincing maybe you could sneak out early and we can continue where we left off."

Kitty put her hands on Matt's chest, "although that's very tempting I'm sure this party is going to go on very late." She kissed him, "how's tomorrow morning?"

Matt gave her a weak smile, "sure." She moved toward the door as Matt watched her leave.

Matt sat propped up against the headboard with Matthew nestled up against his body. This was Matthew's favorite time of the day engulfed in Matt's long arms listening to his father's baritone voice reading one of his favorite bedtime stories. Matt enjoyed this activity too not only because it gave him an opportunity to bond with his son but it also took his mind off of Kitty for awhile. He looked down when he felt Matthew's head lean further into his side. He smiled as he ran his hand over his son's head and then gently carried him to his room. He returned and changed into his pajama bottoms, put on his robe, and then checked on his daughter. Katie was beginning to fuss so Matt reached in and cradled his daughter in his arms and sat in the rocker. Before long the gentle swaying lulled her back to sleep and he slowly lowered Katie back into her crib. He took a deep breath and stood at the French doors looking out at the night as he ran his fingers through his hair. It was now April and the last meaningful time he had spent with his wife was the fourteenth of February. Their anniversary was rapidly approaching and Matt was hoping he could convince Kitty to take a couple of days off to celebrate. He walked over to the bed, took off his robe, got under the covers, and reached for the book on the nightstand. He tried to read but his thoughts were constantly interrupted by a strange feeling of uneasiness. No matter how many times he tried to ignore the feeling it still gnawed at him. He closed the book, turned the lamp low, and slowly laid his head on the pillow. He stared at the darkened ceiling until his eyes became heavy and eventually closed.

The air was crisp and the pine trees pungent smell filled the senses. He was home there was no doubt about that. Since he was a young man this was where he had always planned to be, rifle by his side, fishing pole in his hands, relaxing by a running stream of water whose melodious sound could put a man to sleep in a heartbeat. This was as close to heaven as a man could get on this earth and he was reveling in his good fortune. The winter was approaching and it was those times that he wished he had his love to share the cabin and keep him warm when the winds howled through the pines. He missed the touch of her, her scent, her soft skin, the way her body curved into his. As he sat alone he envisioned a blazing fire in the hearth and her body writhing under his as he proved again and again how much he loved, needed, and cherished her. Then as their entwined bodies would cool and the embers of the fire dimmed he would reach over and stoke the flames in the hearth as well as rekindle their passion. Reality set in as he moved toward his cold worn cot making a mental note of the things he needed to do before the first snows. Even though he never felt lonelier in his life he was now free from the city that smothered him and his soul soared.

Kitty quietly walked into the bedroom and looked in on Katie. She moved toward the bed and looked down at a very peaceful Matt. She smiled and went to change for bed. She was exhausted and the very act of pulling the linens over her body was a chore. As she slowly rested her head on the pillow she heard soft moans coming from Matt so she turned toward him and wrapped her arm around his waist. He slowly turned toward her and smiled, "I knew you'd come." Puzzled Kitty stared at his face. With her so close Matt pulled her into a passionate kiss. "I love you so much Kitty and we're going to be so happy here." Afraid to wake him, she let him live out his dream.

There was something different in the way he made love to her tonight. He was extremely slow and methodical as if he had all the time in the world. Not that she had any complaints just that she didn't understand it and what did he mean by we are going to be so happy here anyway? It had been so long she almost forgot how good he felt against her skin and although she was very happy her business was doing well it meant that their time together had diminished to the point she couldn't remember the last time they were intimate. She kissed his chest and gently ran her nails over his skin. Matt smiled, "are you cold? I could put another log on the fire."

Kitty gave him a quizzical look, "I'm not cold Matt, not when I'm lying in your arms."

Matt ran his hand up and down her back, "honey, I was so lonely without you but now you're here and everything is right. I was worried you wouldn't find the place." Matt softly kissed her lips and continued down her neck. It didn't matter where he thought they were Kitty was enjoying it too much to have him stop. They eventually fell exhausted into each other's arms as sleep took them quickly.

The distant thunder woke Matt as his focusing eyes noticed his pajama bottoms and Kitty's nightgown lying on the floor. He turned to see his sleeping wife's bare back and quickly realized that making love to her wasn't a dream. He smiled and ran his arm around her waist as he removed the hair from her neck. He slowly ran his lips down her skin as she released a few soft moans. She turned toward him, "good morning cowboy," she smiled, "was there something you wanted?"

He pulled the bed linens off her body and stared as his hand glided lightly over her skin. "You and only you."

She smiled as she pulled him into a passionate kiss and Matt's hand drifted lazily down between her thighs. She pushed Matt onto his back and quickly straddled his body; she had enough of the slow and methodical approach. A clap of thunder shook the house and her thrusts intensified at the sound of the electrical charge. Their intimate moment was shattered by the door crashing into the wall as Matthew came running into the room. "Daddy, daddy, I'm scared." Matt threw Kitty down on the bed and quickly covered her body. Matthew jumped on the bed and ran into Matt's arms. "OK son, everything is going to be all right now. It's just a little thunder. It will pass soon." Matt patted his son's back as Matthew kept his eyes closed, face up against Matt's bare chest. Matt ran his hand over his son's head and rocked him. "Shhh now Matthew, I'll hold you until it passes, daddy's here." The little boy tried so hard to be strong but another clap of thunder made him jump and Matt held his head even closer. Kitty began to tear up as she watched her husband comforting their son. He was so good with the children and she had no doubt with his father's influence Matthew would grow up to be a very good man. Eventually the storm passed and Matt held his son's face in his hand. "What do ya say son, can you let your mommy and me get dress now?" Matthew shook his head and Matt leaned over and placed him on the floor. "You go back to your room and I'll be in directly to help you dress and then we'll have breakfast together, OK?" Matthew smiled and ran back into his room. When Matthew disappeared from sight Matt stood and closed the door. He came back to bed and turned toward Kitty, "sorry." Then he noticed the tears, "honey, what's wrong?"

"You're so good with them Matt. I guess I get emotional watching you with our children."

Matt smiled, "I love you Kitty," he leaned down to softly kiss her and she pulled him close for a prolonged caress. Matt shook his head, "oh how I wish we could continue where we left off. You were certainly having your way with me Mrs. Dillon."

"You don't think he saw me…do you?"

"Kitty, he was so scared I don't think he noticed much but, in any case, I think I covered you in time."

She ran her hand down his face, "how are you feeling?"

"I'll live…barely…but right now our son is waiting for me to take him to breakfast and if he's anything like his mother..."

Matt winked as Kitty smiled and slapped his arm. "I was never as bad as you pretend I was."

Matt ran his fingers lightly over her chest, "oh, I don't know Mrs. Dillon I think I prefer it when you're bad."

Kitty slapped him again, "get going." Matt smiled, grabbed his pajamas off the floor and made his way to wash up. Kitty watched him walk into the next room and smiled.

Matt sat in the living room in his best courting jacket and pants waiting for his wife to begin their anniversary celebration. He had planned to whisk her away to a cottage on a plantation outside of Metairie for a few days. He patiently waited as his finger thumped on the arm of the chair keeping in time with the ticks of the clock. Maggie walked into the room, "Miss Kitty hasn't come home yet?"

Maggie could see the disappointment in his face, "No, not yet."

"Well, I'm sure she'll be home soon." Matt nodded his head as his finger continued to keep time.

Daylight was fading as well as Matt's hope for their anniversary getaway. Matthew entered the room with a book in his hands. "What do ya have there buddy?" Matthew showed Matt the book. "You want me to read you a story?" Matthew shook his head as Matt smiled, "well then hop on up." Matthew watched his father intently as he read; only occasionally looking at the book if his father mentioned a passage he particularly enjoyed. Eventually Matthew fell asleep in Matt's lap so he cradled the boy in his arms and brought him up to bed. Matt walked into their bedroom and removed his jacket and tie. Katie began to stir so Matt grabbed another children's book on the table and read to his daughter. Katie's eyes never left his face until they closed to sleep. He carried his child to the crib and gently laid her body on the mattress. He went to the French doors and blankly stared. According to his plan, Kitty and he would have been locked away from the world by now, no children, no business, just the two of them. To rekindle the way it was before their world fell apart by so many distractions. He didn't know how long he had been in his trance when he felt arms moving around his waist. "Matt, I'm so sorry."

His voice was low and dejected, "It's all right Kitty. It was probably a silly idea of mine anyway."

"One of the state senators came in and…"

Matt raised his hand, "Kitty it's all right. I don't need to know what happened this time."

"We can get an early start tomorrow. It'll be one less night away," Kitty ran her hands up and down his chest, "but I'll see what I can do to make up for it."

"Honey, it's all right. I just thought the two of us getting away for a few days would have, oh, I don't know." Matt shook his head, "it was just a stupid idea. You're busy I understand that, maybe some other time."

Matt turned to walk away from her as she grabbed his arm, "whoa there Matt. It wasn't a stupid idea and I love you so much for even thinking about planning alone time for us. My mistake was going to the restaurant today but I have let everyone know that I will not be around for the next few days so," she started to undo the buttons on his shirt, "if you still want me I'm all yours."

Matt ran his hand lightly over Kitty's hair. "I wish we could go back to the way it was."

Kitty looked puzzled, "like when? When you were never home, roaming the range after who knows what?"

"Oh is this what this is? Getting back at me for all the times I missed the Ford County sociables?

Kitty put her hands on her hips, "I see, so the former high and mighty Marshal of Ford County doesn't like it when he's left alone. Well as he once told me, I'm sorry but that's just the way it is!" Kitty stormed out of the room.

Matt stood for awhile collecting his thoughts and then he went after her. Maggie was at the bottom of the steps, "Matt is everything all right? Miss Kitty just ran out the door like a bat out of hell."

Matt grabbed the door knob, "watch the children will you Maggie?"

"Sure."

At first Matt walked aimlessly through the streets then he went to _**Russell's**_ but both Festus and Sam hadn't seen Kitty since she had left to go home. He walked down by the river and back through their neighborhood and still no sign of her. Each step he took increased the fear that something had happened to her. He cursed himself for not going to bed and getting up early as Kitty had wanted. No, he just had to keep pushing until a night of passion turned into a block to block search. He was passing their house for the second time when he noticed someone on the porch. He slowly walked through the gate and was relieved to see she was there. He slowly climbed the steps and stood over her, "I've been looking all over for you. Where have you been?"

"I don't know I just kept walking until I found myself back here."

"Kitty, I was so worried about you."

"Humph…worried about me or worried about being left alone?"

Matt gave her an exasperated look, "can we stop this?"

"Stop what?"

"Acting like this. It's our anniversary tomorrow for heaven's sake."

"That mean that much to you?"

Matt reached down and took her in his arms, "it means everything to me." He kissed her passionately as her tears began to fall. "Honey, why the tears?" He wiped them away with his finger.

"I hate what we do to each other sometimes. I don't mean just now, we've been doing this for years."

Matt smiled, "that's true but through it all we are here still very much in love with each other. I don't know many couples who have been through as much as we've been through and still have the passion to fight." Matt put his hands up, "now I'm not saying that's how I want us to display our passion," Matt ran his hands around her waist as his lips gently caressed her neck and he mumbled, "I have a much better idea on how we can spend our passionate time." Kitty closed her eyes and enjoyed her husband's lips gliding down her neck. "Matt?"

"Shhh…let's go upstairs and I'll show you how it works." Kitty let out with one of her throaty laughs as they walked arm in arm to their bedroom.

The children were taking their naps so Maggie decided to enjoy a beautiful sunny spring day out on the porch. As she came through the front door John was coming up the walk, "Maggie, I have a letter for you here."

"Oh, thank you Dr. John."

"Don't mention it." John looked around, "So, the Dillon's give you a few minutes to enjoy a glorious spring day?"

Maggie laughed. "No, they're not home."

"Still?"

"I thought they were coming home yesterday but they did get a late start so maybe they just decided to stay an extra day." Maggie took the letter from John's hand. "No problem though, I love watching Matthew and Katie. They're such good babies. Care to sit awhile Dr. John? I can make some lemonade."

"No thank you Maggie. I really have to be getting back. Tell Matt and Kitty I said hello."

"Sure will Dr. John." She watched John walk down the path then sat down in the rocker and read her letter.

_My dearest Margaret,_

_I regretfully inform you that I cannot come to see you as I had planned. We've had a few bouts of cholera in the outlying areas and I am doing the best I can to stop it from spreading to Dodge for that would be a job even someone as capable as I wouldn't be able to handle. My young replacement has decided against traveling to this part of the country while the threat of an epidemic is possible. In my opinion it does not show much character on his part but I'm been through this before and I'm sure I'll get through it again. How are my two good friends? I am so happy for Kitty and the continued success of her recent endeavor. I don't know why I am continually amazed at her business savvy for she is one of the most intelligent people I know. I do worry about my friend Matt though. If, as you say, he feels neglected he's liable to do something stupid. I just wish that man would realize how lucky he is and enjoy his life but I guess knowing who he was and how he lived his life before I can see how being in the city for a long period of time could be restrictive. Not so with me. I wish more than anything to be able to see you again. I lie awake at night thinking about you, your laugh, your touch, but most of all your beautiful face. I love how your eyes convey the love you feel for life and for me in particular. Please let my grandson know I won't be there for his birthday this year but that I am thinking about him. I hope you are well and I live for the day that I can see you again._

_Yours always,_

_Galen_

Maggie stared at the letter and tried desperately not to cry. She heard voices coming up the path and tried her best to not show her disappointment. "Maggie, I'm so sorry we took another day but Matt…" Kitty noticed the sadness in her face, "Is everything all right Maggie?"

Maggie waved off her concern, "everything is fine." She raised the letter, "I got a letter from Galen today. He's not going to be coming as planned."

"Is he all right?"

Maggie nodded, "oh he's fine. It's just that some people have cholera and he's trying to stop it from spreading."

Kitty shook her head, "that poor man. He's getting too old for this. I wish they could find a permanent replacement for him so he can come down here and be with us."

"I wish so too Miss Kitty." Maggie stood, "how was the cottage?"

Kitty put her arm around Matt, "it was nestled away on this beautiful plantation where it was just me, Matt, and nature. It was so beautiful," she smiled up at Matt, "I was able to concentrate on my husband for a few days, I guess he liked that so much he insisted we stay another day." She looked back at Maggie, "I hope that wasn't too much trouble for you."

Maggie waved her hand in dismissal, "Miss Kitty you have such wonderful children."

Kitty looked back up at Matt, "Matt had something to do with it too you know."

Matt kissed the top of her head, "I had the easy, most enjoyable part. If I recall you did the heavy lifting." Kitty laughed as she raised her hand to his face and kissed him. "Shall we go see our children?"

Matt stepped aside and gestured with his hand. "Lead the way Mrs. Dillon."

It had been a little over two months since they came back from their idyllic anniversary getaway but life at the Dillon house had not changed. Kitty seemed to be more immersed in running the business then she had ever been before and Matt was left reliving the passionate getaway days from memory. He was sitting in the alcove reading the paper when Maggie came into the room. "I was just about to take the children for a walk. Why don't you come with us Matt?"

Matt put down the paper, "I think I will Maggie."

As they walked Maggie had an idea, "What do you say we go over to _**Russell's**_? I'll watch the children and you and Miss Kitty can take the afternoon off."

Matt laughed, "Kitty? Take the afternoon off?" Matt shook his head, "No, Maggie, I'm afraid that's not possible."

"Well, why don't you try and convince her?"

Matt shook his head, "I don't think so Maggie."

Maggie took him by the arm, "come on Matt, I think it's worth a try."

Matt took a deep breath in resignation, "only to show you how wrong you are."

Maggie laughed. "Any way I can get you there I'll take."

They arrived at _**Russell's **_and Maggie took the children up to the second floor apartment. Matt walked into a busy afternoon crowd and sighed. He had grown tired of the constant excuses and the promise that tomorrow was going to be different. He started to turn to leave when he caught Kitty's eye. She excused herself and caught up to Matt as he was on his way out the door. "Cowboy, everything all right?"

"It's fine Kitty. Maggie convinced me to take a walk with her and the children and we came here."

Kitty looked around, "where are they?"

Matt motion toward the second floor, "upstairs, she thought we might spend some time together this afternoon but I told her you were probably too busy." He pointed toward the restaurant, "I guess I wasn't wrong."

Kitty smiled, "let's go cowboy. It's a beautiful day and I'd loved to take a walk down by the river." She pulled his arm, "come on."

They walked for awhile until they found a bench to sit on. Matt put his arm around Kitty and pulled her close. They sat for awhile enjoying the calmness of the river, the warm summer sun, but most importantly the time they were spending together. Kitty was so glad Matt decided to come and she was thoroughly enjoying this impromptu respite from her day to day drudgery. With the warmth of the day and her head nestled in Matt's neck Kitty began to drift off to sleep. "Kitty?"

"Hmm?"

"I think I'm going to go away for a couple of weeks."

Kitty's eyes opened quickly as her head jerked off his shoulder. "What?"

"I thought I might go up and visit Caleb for a couple of weeks, you know, see some different scenery.

"Why, for heaven's sake?"

Matt shrugged his shoulders, "Kitty I just need to."

"Well, I just don't understand."

"I wouldn't expect you to." Matt moved a few strands of hair off her face. "I'm sure Maggie wouldn't mind helping you take care of the children for a couple of weeks."

"Matt, certainly Maggie can help but, well, this is so sudden I…"

He placed his fingers over her lips, "honey, if we had more time to talk I'm sure this wouldn't have come as much of a surprise."

Kitty looked down and Matt put his hand under her chin and brought her face up to look into her eyes. He had seen those eyes so many times before when they were back in Dodge. The eyes that were so afraid she was never going to see him again. "It's different this time Kitty. I'm just going away for a couple of weeks to see an old friend. I'll be back before you even miss me." She started to cry and he held her tight, "come on now, I love you, I will always love you but I just need to get away for awhile, that's all."

Kitty nodded in agreement as she had done so many times before. Matt wiped away the tears with his finger and kissed her, "I love you." As they sat holding and kissing each other a young couple slowly walked by and smiled. Kitty looked up at the two and returned the smile then she watched the couple walk arm in arm down the path and then she looked back at Matt, "are we OK Kitty?"

"Matt I'm not going to lie, I don't want you to go but if you feel you have to, well, then go do it cowboy."

He kissed her again, "let's go see our children."

They entered the second floor apartment to two sleeping children and Maggie reading a book. Maggie could sense that Kitty was upset but Matt seemed like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. She walked toward them and whispered. "They just went to sleep. Do you want me to wait to take them back home?"

Kitty shook her head, "that's not necessary Maggie, Matt and I can take it from here. I'm sure you can use a couple of hours to yourself."

"I could but…"

Kitty put her arm around her and walked her to the door, "Then, I will not here another word about it, now go out and enjoy yourself."

Maggie looked puzzled, "whatever you say Miss Kitty. I'll see you later then?" Maggie kept looking back but Kitty quickly ushered her through the door.

"You sure hurried her out quick."

"Matt, I'm on the verge of tears. I didn't want Maggie to see me crying."

"I thought we were all through this and you were OK."

"I'm not going to be OK until you're home safe and sound." Kitty walked over to the children. "What am I going to tell them?"

"Kitty you're making it seem like I'm going away forever." He came up behind her and put his arms around her waist. "I'm not you know."

"But they're still going to miss their father. Maybe you're not aware of it but you are a very big part of their lives."

He kissed her on the neck, "and I will be just as big a part when I return."

He started to nibble on her ear, "how do you know Caleb is even still alive?"

Matt shrugged, "I don't but if I get up to his cabin and find out he's not with us any longer I'll come straight home."

"Seems foolish to go all that way to see a ghost."

"You do have a way with words Mrs. Dillon." His lips continued down her neck as his hands ran up and down her body. She wanted to resist him, punish him, hate him, for leaving her but she wasn't that strong. Matt began to undress her, "Matt the children." He picked her up into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. "Now, where were we?"

"Cowboy, maybe we shouldn't …I mean…I don't have…I mean…I'm really not...I mean…I'm not wearing…oh Matt…yes Matt…oh yes right there…"

Matt lay awake staring up at their bedroom ceiling. He found it hard to fall asleep for in the morning he had planned to leave. It was a couple of hours before dawn when Matt dressed and finished packing. He stood over Kitty and as much as he wanted to lovingly kiss her goodbye he knew she would make it that much harder to leave. He walked over to Katie's crib and ran his fingers down her arm. "Daddy is just going to go visit an old friend. I'll be back soon. I love you Katie." He touched his fingers to his lips and gently touched her cheek. He walked down the hall into Matthew's room. He slowly sat down on the bed and pushed the hair off the boy's forehead, "You take care of your mother while I'm gone son. You're the man of the house now. I love you." He leaned over and gave him a kiss then he stood and went back into their bedroom. He removed his wedding ring and placed it on the doily on top of his dresser. He looked back at Kitty one last time before he picked up his saddle and carpet bags and tip toed down the stairs.

The dawn was dark and dreary and the rumbling of thunder could be heard in the distance. She never really understood why she loved a thunderstorm so much except that it brought back memories of the first time Matt and she made love. She smiled remembering their first time and turned to put her arm around Matt but he was gone. She quickly looked around the room then grabbed her robe. As she passed the dresser she noticed his wedding ring. She picked it up in her hand and held it tight as she ran to the French doors hoping he was in sight but the streets were empty. A few drops of rain fell against the window pane silhouetting the tears running down her cheek. The storm was rapidly approaching and the thunder was getting louder. The crashing of her bedroom door startled her, "Daddy, daddy, I'm scared." As she turned, her son jumped on the bed and frantically looked for Matt. She ran to him and held him tight. "Where's daddy? He makes the loud noise go away mommy."

Kitty rocked her son in her arms. "I know he does Matthew but we're going to have to get along without him for the next couple of weeks."

Matthew looked up at her, "but where is he mommy?"

Kitty was trying desperately to be strong but it wasn't easy seeing her son with tears in his eyes. "He had to go see a good friend of his for a little while but he'll be back before you know it."

"But couldn't his friend come here?"

"Well, where his friend lives they can go hunting and fishing. Your daddy likes to do that very much."

Matthew thought a second, "doesn't he love us anymore mommy?"

"Matthew he loves us very much and don't you ever doubt that." She hugged him tight until the rolling thunder could barely be heard in the distance. "Now why don't you go back to your room and I'll be there in a minute to help you dress. Then we'll have breakfast together, what do you say?"

Matthew nodded but Kitty knew his little heart was still broken. She watched as her son walked dejectedly back to his room. She sat for a minute staring down at Matt's wedding ring and then not able to hold her emotion back any longer she broke down and cried.


	15. My Love, Though We're Apart

The dismal day was coming to life as the landscape whizzed past Matt's eyes. He noticed the storm clouds rolling toward New Orleans and felt a tug on his heart knowing he wouldn't be there to comfort Matthew when the loud claps of thunder frightened him. The click clack of the train wheels was a further reminder of the distance he was putting between him and his family. What seemed like a good idea in New Orleans certainly was becoming less of one as the train took him further from home. Every stop presented Matt with a dilemma, to either continue on or wait for the next returning train. The day would be starting in the Dillon home and his heart ached at the thought of what his leaving might do to his children and to Kitty even though it was only for a couple of weeks. What would she think when she found him gone, ring on the dresser, no goodbyes. He opened the paper but he couldn't concentrate on the written word. He blankly stared out the window as he made his decision. He would stay a few days at Caleb's and return home sooner than he had planned.

Maggie was starting breakfast when Kitty came down the back stairs with Katie and Matthew in tow. Matthew sat at the table and Kitty put Katie in the high chair. Maggie looked back toward the stairs but Matt was not following. "Matt sleeping in this morning?"

"Matt's not sleeping at all."

Maggie looked confused, "Where is he then?"

"Your guess is as good as mine Maggie. I suppose he's on a train getting closer to nirvana."

"Miss Kitty, you've totally lost me."

Kitty turned back toward Maggie, "your friend Matt has found it too suffocating here. He needed to get away for awhile, see an old friend up in the mountains." Kitty sighed, "Oh, Maggie I don't know why this would surprise me. That was where Matt always felt a sense of peace. I guess there's still a part of him that needs to feel that way again."

Maggie sensed sadness in Kitty even though she was trying hard to be strong. "Miss Kitty I have no doubt my friend Matt is feeling very differently right about now."

Kitty grabbed a couple of eggs and began to fry them, "what do you mean?"

"I could be wrong but I would bet he's starting to miss his family already. No man who loves his family like Matt does is going to stay away for long. Oh, he's stubborn all right so he'll play this through but he'll be back sooner than you think." Maggie looked over at the children, "I'm home with him and I watch him with them. They are the joy of his life and I would find it hard to believe he's not going to be thinking about them all the time he's away." Maggie put her hand on Kitty's arm. "And he loves you so much that his life would not be worth living if you weren't in it." Kitty put her head down and then quickly excused herself and ran up the stairs. Maggie took the eggs off the flame and walked over to Matthew. "Matthew, can you stay here a minute and watch your sister for me?" Matthew nodded as he drank his orange juice then Maggie turned and ran up the stairs. Kitty was in her room sitting on the bed. Maggie sat down and put her arms around her as Kitty sobbed on her shoulder. "It's going to be all right Miss Kitty."

Between sobs Kitty spoke, "I know Maggie but it hurts. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye."

"I know, I know," Maggie gently patted her back, "but I think you know as well as I that Matt wouldn't have been able to leave if he said goodbye to you. Anyway, I have a feeling that when Matt gets home he won't have any more fool notions about visiting old friends in the mountains." Kitty looked up at Maggie, "no, I think this trip is going to get the wanderlust out of his system for good."

Kitty smiled, "it is only two weeks."

Maggie returned the smile, "be over before you know it."

Kitty stood, "Maggie, my friend, we have breakfast to make."

Maggie stood, "yes we do."

Kitty hugged her, "thank you so much Maggie for being a good friend." Maggie smiled as they walked arm and arm out of the room.

Matt's body ached from head to toe as he moved around uneasily in the saddle. He had ridden about a hundred miles and every one of them was more painful than the next. The allure of the mountains had lost its luster as he tried time and time again to get comfortable. The ground was hard, the food inadequate, and as much as he hated to admit it this was no longer the life for him. He questioned his sanity more than once but he was so close to Caleb's it would be crazy to turn back now. He thought he spotted Caleb's cabin in the distance and prodded his horse into a gallop. As he came up the trail a shot rang out close to his horse's feet. The horse danced a little as a voice rang out from the wooden structure. "I wouldn't be takin' another step unless ya want to be sportin' a nice hole through the middle of ya."

"Caleb it's Matt. Matt Dillon."

Inside the cabin Caleb look bewildered as he mumbled to himself, "_Matt Dillon_?" Through squinted eyes he looked again at the stranger, "_well I'll be,_" he quickly stood and swung open the door. "Come on up here Matt, sorry if I scared ya any."

Matt brought his horse to the steps and dismounted grunting through every movement. "How long ya been on that animal Matt that ya so sore?"

"Too long!"

Matt made his way over to his old friend as Caleb grabbed him in a bear hug. "It is so good to see you." He released Matt, "what brings ya out to these parts? Trackin' someone are ya?"

Matt waved his hand, "oh no…those days are long gone."

Caleb's eyes brightened, "don't tell me ya finally chucked it all and ya comin' out here to stay."

"No, just wanted to spend some time with an old friend and do some hunting and fishing."

"Well, that's a start. Here take ya bags and make yaself at home. I'll take care of ya horse and be in directly."

"Sounds good."

Matt took his bags and Caleb grabbed the reins and brought the horse around behind the cabin. Matt walked up the steps and through the front door and looked around. He chuckled to himself thinking that Kitty and he would have quite a laugh about this trip when he got home. Caleb came up behind him and closed the door. "Ya horse is took care of now let's get ya settled. Ya can have the cot over there so throw ya gear on it and come over and sit here at the table and we'll have a drink." Both men threw down the liquid and Caleb poured another round. "So tell me Matt how long ago was it that ya gave up the badge."

"Oh, I'd say going on five years."

"And this is the first ya come up here? What ya been doin' all that time?"

"Maybe it would be better if I showed you." Matt stood and went to his saddle bag. He took out a billfold, opened it, and handed it to Caleb.

"Well, ya old reprobate. Ya sure been busy since I saw ya last…these ya youngins?"

"They are."

"They certainly are handsome." He looked up at Matt, "now what would a looksome woman like this see in someone like ya?" Caleb slapped Matt's arm, "Betcha she be keepin' ya warm on those cold Kansas nights." Matt could feel his face turning red, "No wonder I could never convince ya to stay when ya'd come for a visit. I be runnin' back to Dodge ifn' I had her waitin' for me, I'll tell ya that much. Ooh wee, I surely would. Ya done pretty good from the looks of things."

"That I have Caleb that I have."

"So Matt I gotta' ask. Why'd ya wanna' trade all this in for a few days with me?"

"Let's just say I needed a change of scenery. We live in New Orleans and I guess the city was starting to close in on me."

"Yeah, cities have a way of doin' that, that's for sure." He began to head for the fireplace. "I was just 'bout to make me a meal. Just goin' throw some meat together in a broth and see what I come up with."

"Need some help?"

"Naw, you just make yaself comfortable and dinner will be ready in no time." Caleb threw some fixings in the pot and turned back toward Matt. "It's really good to see ya Matt."

"Good to see you too Caleb." Caleb went back to fixing dinner and Matt removed the bags from the cot and laid his long frame down hoping to catch a quick nap. As he stared up at the ceiling he smiled and thought to himself, "_Yep,_ _Kitty and I are going to have a couple of laughs about this_."

A week had gone by and Kitty's mood was improving. She had made a calendar for Matthew and at the end of the day they would cross off one box and smile knowing they were one day closer to seeing Matt again. She tried to stay home with Matthew and Katie as much as she could to help her children adjust to life without Matt, now if she could only find a remedy for herself. She lay awake at night staring up at the ceiling trying to relive the last time they were together. To feel closer to him she slept in his blue shirt loving the way it felt against her skin. It was going to be a grand day when Matt returned and she had planned to lock them in the room for a homecoming he was never going to forget.

After a few days of nothing but hunting, fishing, eating, and sleeping Matt was more than ready to go home. He was dreading the ride back since his body was just healing from the trip up here. What troubled him was Caleb. Even though he was up in years he seemed to be slowing down more, at times, barely able to catch his breath. He didn't have the hearty appetite that Matt had remembered and he had developed a penchant for a nap during the day. Matt had assumed it was because he hadn't been sleeping well at night, coughing the way he was, which even kept Matt awake some evenings. It was the day before he was to leave and Caleb was late to rise. Matt sat out on the porch unsure of what to do. Clearly Caleb was ill and Matt went over the options in his head. Take Caleb with him to find a doctor or leave him here to die and since the latter was not something he could do then he would have to find him a doctor. Knowing Caleb the way he did and his dislike for anyone in the medical profession he knew he would have to carefully broach the subject with his good friend. He sat for awhile until he heard Caleb stirring then he went inside. "Morning Caleb."

"Mornin' there Matt. Sorry I slept a little late today, not much of a host when my guest has to make his own coffee."

Matt poured himself and Caleb a cup and sat down across from him at the table. "Caleb I was thinking."

"What's that Matt?"

"I've watched you the past few days and, well, I'm no doctor but it seems to me you haven't been feeling well."

Caleb waved that idea off, "Ah, Matt it's what happens when ya get old. Ya slow down some, that's all it is. Ya watch and see when ya get ta be my age."

"I think it's more than that." Matt took a sip of his coffee, "is there a doctor who takes care of this part of the country that I could take you to?"

"Matt now ya makin' a big deal out of this. I don't be needin' no doctor."

"Caleb, answer my question is there a doctor I can take you to?"

Caleb waved his hand, "a doctor rides through these parts every now and again. Don't come regular but he comes. Ifn' it'll make ya feel any better I promise I'll see him when he passes through."

"Caleb, I don't feel comfortable leaving you here when you might be sick."

"Matt ya were always the worryin' type. I'll be fine no need to change ya plans now because of me."

"If I change my plans it's because of me. It wouldn't sit right with me if I left. I know you'd do the same for me if it came down to it."

"Difference being Matt I don't have a family. Ya got a handsome one waiting for ya. I would suspect they be pretty worried if ya don't come home."

Matt took another sip of coffee, "You let me worry about that. I'll find some way to get a message home."

"Matt there's no tellin' when this doctor be a passin' through. It could be months!"

"Well then I think we need to prepare for winter."

"I always said ya were never straight in the head." He took a sip of coffee, "I thank ya anyway."

Matt acknowledged Caleb's appreciation with a smile, "now, what do you say we have breakfast?" Caleb nodded and Matt began to cook.

It was the end of August but still no Matt. He had been gone now for almost two months and it was getting increasingly difficult to come up with excuses for the children as to why their father wasn't home. Matthew especially found it hard to understand why after diligently keeping a two week record his father wouldn't be home the day of the next blank square. Kitty had tired of seeing the disappointment in her children's eyes as another day passed and they tried to reconcile why their father would be anywhere else but home. It was tougher on Kitty as she tried to drive from her mind the possibility that he loved it so much there that he would abandon her. Her business was thriving but she had lost interest and if it wasn't for Sam, Festus, Maggie, and John she probably would have sold it by now. John walked into the house and called for Kitty. She could hear him downstairs but she had no desire to respond she only wanted to lie in bed wrapped in Matt's shirt which was the only thing that made her feel better. Maggie came out to meet John in the hallway. "She's upstairs in her room Dr. John."

"She any better?"

"Not really and I'm starting to worry about her. Most of the time she just lies awake staring up at the ceiling and she hardly eats anything. She does enjoy it when the children sit in bed with her and play but then they always want to know where their father is and then she slips back into sadness again."

"I'll go have a talk with her. I'm thinking of giving her some medication to at least help her sleep."

"I know anything you do will help."

John reached out and grabbed Maggie's arm, "I'm going to do my best Maggie."

Maggie smiled, "I know you will."

John knocked on Kitty's bedroom door but there was no answer. He stuck his head in to find her staring straight ahead. "Mind if I come in?"

His voice broke her from her trance as she smiled, "sure John, come in." She patted a spot on the bed next to her.

"How are you feeling today?"

"I'm on top of the world doctor. I have two children who are confused as to why their father has disappeared. I have a successful restaurant that I can't seem to concentrate on any longer and the man who promised to love me forever has decided he prefers living up in the mountains with some old friend than lying in my arms every night."

"Kitty, I don't really believe that."

"Oh no John? Then where is he? It's been almost two months now."

"I realize that but there could be any number of reasons why he hasn't returned."

"Oh really…name one."

"Well…uh…maybe his horse broke down. Wouldn't it take him a long time to walk to any kind of civilization?" Kitty shot him a disbelieving look, "it is possible you know or what if he's hurt or sick and recuperating at Caleb's and they can't get a message to us?"

"You don't think I haven't thought about all those situations? John, the bottom line is he shouldn't have left. He walked out on us. Do you know what it has been like trying to explain all this to the children when I can't make sense of it myself?" John could see Kitty was beginning to get emotional. "I keep seeing him lying on a road half dead and because no one passes by his life is slowly slipping away and I'm not there to say goodbye. To tell him how much I loved him John. To hold him one last time, he deprived me of that."

"Kitty you're getting yourself all worked up now."

She dropped her head as the tears began to flow, "It hurts me so that he left without saying goodbye." She wrung her hands, "John, I miss him so much."

John reached out and hugged her, "Kitty everything is going to be all right." He placed her back on the pillow and took out a pill to make her sleep. He poured her a glass of water and handed her a pill, "come on now take this."

Through tears she spoke, "what is it?"

"It'll help you sleep." Kitty took the medicine and closed her eyes.

"Kitty there was something I did want to speak to you about."

She wiped away her tears, "what's that?"

"Maybe it's time to send someone after Matt."

"What do you mean after Matt?"

"Like a private detective. I have a very good friend that owns an agency. I wouldn't mind having a talk with him to see what he thinks."

Kitty let out with a huge sigh, "I don't think Matt wants to be found."

John smiled, "well, I think it's worth a shot. Anyway, I think it might make you feel better knowing you have some control in this."

Kitty smiled, "might be a good idea." She signaled for him to come closer as she wrapped her hands around his face and gave him a kiss. "I owe you so much John. You've try to keep me sane through all of this and I appreciate it."

John smiled, "to see you smile is my reward." He stood, "I'll talk with my friend and see what he can do. In the meantime you get some rest Kitty girl and I'll check in on you tomorrow.

"Good night John and thanks."

"See you tomorrow." Kitty watched John leave the room as the medicine made her drowsy and soon she fell into a deep sleep.

Two days later John walked into the office of the Rousseau Detective Agency on St. Ann Street. Regina Lawrence looked up from her desk and smiled, "Well, John Chapman, how long has it been?"

She stood as John came closer to her desk and embraced his old friend. "Too long Reggie, too long." He held her at arm's length, "but you still are so very beautiful."

Reggie slapped his arm, "oh you, ever the charmer."

"I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true," he held her hands and smiled which always melted Reggie's heart. "I see you never married again."

"No, to tell you the truth, I haven't found another man like Dave. He was one of a kind."

"That he was."

"John I want to thank you again for helping us during that time. He was a very sick man and you made his last days the best we could have ever hoped for."

"I was glad I was able to help." He patted her hand.

"So what brings you here?"

"I was hoping Gerard might be able to help me find a friend of mine," they both turned as Gerard Rousseau walked through the door and toward John with hand extended, "John, it's been too long."

"That it has Gerard."

Gerard pointed to Reggie, "renewing old friendships?"

"It was very pleasurable until you decided to join us," John smiled.

"Well then, maybe you would like to take Regina out to lunch instead?"

John turned back to Reggie, "I would like to one day if the lady would do me the honor but for now you'll have to do. Are you ready for lunch?"

Gerard laughed, "I am, anytime you're buying."

John smiled and shook his head, "haven't changed a bit."

Gerard put his hand on John's shoulder, "so…where are you taking me old friend?"

"I thought we'd head down to _**Russell's**_."

"Good choice, very nice choice."

"It's a favorite of mine too."

Reggie wished them well as they walked through the office door. She sighed as she thought how very nice it was to see John again and hoping that he was serious about the lunch invitation. She sat back down at her desk and leaned back in her chair. She wasn't entirely truthful when she said she hadn't found another man like Dave. There is one other…and he just went to lunch with her boss.

Gerard sat back in his chair as he took a sip of his coffee listening intently to what John had to say. "So you see Gerard, Matt is somewhere in the mountains outside of Denver near Fort Collins. He was supposed to be back a month and a half ago and Kitty is pretty worried something might have happened to him."

Gerard thought carefully before he spoke, "how well do you know Matt?"

"Pretty well, I guess."

"Do you think his intention was to return?"

"Yes, of course, he intended to return."

"What caused him to leave anyway?"

John shrugged his shoulders, "I think it was a spur of the moment trip."

Gerard took another sip of coffee, "just like that, no reason? He just felt like getting far away from civilization?"

John nodded, "something like that."

Gerard thought a moment, "John, here's the problem I'm having. I've seen this so often in my line of work. A spouse gets tired of their domestic situation and they look for new adventures or excitement. Usually with men it's a much younger woman. You know…someone who can make them feel young again not to mention a beautiful young body they can play with."

"Gerard I really don't think that applies to Matt."

"John, you'd be surprised at the type of men who leave their wives for these younger dames. Staid, steady, reliable types who no one in a million years would ever believe were capable of such an act but they do it." Gerard took a deep breath, "I guess what I'm saying is I don't know if it's worth looking all over creation when Matt could be in the arms of a beautiful young woman far, far, away from the mountains his wife believes he's in and there's a good possibility he might not want to return. Is Kitty ready to hear that?"

John thought a moment. Although he was sure Matt would never be found in such a compromising situation he couldn't be certain. Would it be better if Kitty thought Matt was dead than to find out he had made a life with someone else? One thing was certain he was glad he had spared Kitty from this discussion with Gerard. "Gerard if you are willing to take on this case I believe Kitty would want to locate Matt no matter where you find him."

Gerard shook his head, "fine…but there's just one thing."

"What's that?"

"I don't know many operatives that cover that territory. I do have a few friends in Denver but I don't know if any of them are adventurous enough to make that trip."

"Gerard I really want to be able to give Kitty some positive news."

He took a cigar out of his pocket and offered it to John who promptly declined, "I'll tell you what. You give me a description of Matt and I'll send it to my friends. Let them look around Denver for awhile," Gerard held up his hand to stop John from speaking, "just to make sure your friend isn't living in the city and then we'll go from there."

"And what if no one wants to go further north?"

"Then I'll let you know."

John shook his head, "I don't want to give Kitty any false hope."

Gerard studied him carefully, "you seem to be very protective of Kitty."

"I know what she is going through and I would like to help her any way I can."

Gerard clipped the cigar and lit a match. As he puffed he smiled, "It surprises me that you are so anxious to find Matt. It would seem your life might be much better off if he stayed missing."

"But Kitty's wouldn't be."

Gerard chuckled, "Unrequited love is a slippery slope my friend." John stared with no reply, "or maybe you want us to find him not for Kitty but for yourself."

"What's that suppose to mean Gerard?"

"Let's just say that our Matt isn't in the mountains but he has taken up residence with a beautiful young lady who he has no intention of giving up. It would be the end of their marriage and from what you have told me Kitty would be devastated. Am I to assume your intention would be to be there to pick up the pieces?" He took another drag on his cigar, "are you a gambling man John?"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Affairs of the heart are always a risk. Even if her husband rejects her there's no guarantee that just because you get her through this she will fall in love with you. I would think about that John."

John smiled, "Gerard, I do care about Kitty, have for a long time, but I also know how much she loves Matt." He took a sip of coffee, "I truly believe Matt would not stay away this long unless he was in trouble. His family means too much to him."

Gerard sat for a moment looking at his cigar, "I still don't understand why a man who loves his family so much would want to leave in the first place. I'm sorry John it just doesn't make any sense."

"Gerard, can you help me, yes or no?"

Gerard smiled, "let me check with my friends in Denver. Who knows they may know some hardy soul who would jump at the chance to spend weeks or even months in the wilderness." He reached out and grabbed John's arm, "but I think you have to be very honest with Kitty and explain the reality of the situation. We may never find anyone to take that trip."

John nodded, "I understand."

Gerard stood and extended his hand toward John, "I'll be in touch and thanks for lunch."

John stood and shook his hand, "thanks for listening."

Gerard smiled and winked, "enjoy your time with Kitty…while it lasts."

John walked through the front door as Kitty was coming down the hallway. "How did it go John?"

John took her by the arm and led her into the living room, "why don't I pour us a drink and we'll discuss it."

Kitty walked over to the sofa and waited for John to return. He handed her the drink, "thank you…so…"

"Gerard will check with a few friends in Denver but he cautioned that they might not have anyone that would be willing to spend weeks or months in the wilderness."

Kitty shook her head, "I understand," she became quiet.

"Kitty I know we'll find someone but it might take awhile." He took her hand in his, "we just can't ever give up hope."

Kitty smiled, "well, at least we will be doing something. It's the waiting and the not doing anything that's been wearing on me."

John raised his glass to toast, "to hearing good news soon."

Their glasses met, "I will certainly drink to that!"

There was definite chill in the air when Matt stepped out on the porch of the cabin a certain sign that winter was on its way. It was the middle of September and there wasn't a day that went by that he didn't regret making this trip. He kept telling himself that he was doing the right thing by not leaving Caleb alone but he also knew that Kitty would be out of her mind with worry. If only the doctor would get here soon he could be on his way. Matt was bringing some wood back for the cabin when he saw a rider off in the distance. He kept his rifle close as the stranger approached. "Howdy, just checking in to see if anyone needed medical attention." He dismounted and walked over to Matt hand extended, "my name is Bart Danvers."

Matt shook his hand, "Matt Dillon."

"If I recall this was Caleb Nash's place."

"Still is, I'm a friend of his." Matt pointed toward the cabin, "doctor I think Caleb may be ailing."

"Oh?"

"He says he's fine but I'd feel much better if you looked at him."

"No problem Matt, I'll do that right now."

Matt sat on the steps of the porch waiting for the examination to be finished. When the door opened Matt rose to his feet, "how much do I owe you doctor?"

Bart waved him off, "thank you but Caleb is too proud to have someone else pay his way."

"How is he?"

"A lot worse than when I saw him last. Matt it's his heart."

"Are you saying he's dying?"

Bart shook his head, "it's pretty serious."

"How much longer does he have?"

"I can guess maybe another couple of months, I'm really not sure." Bart eyed Matt, "how long were you intending to stay?"

Matt ran his fingers through his hair, "well, to tell you the truth doctor, I was only suppose to stay a few days…back in June."

Bart took a bag of tobacco out of his inside pocket and rolled a smoke, "well, you stayed this long, do you think you can stay until the end?" He lit his smoke, "I would have suggested that he come with me to the closest town but I know he will never leave this place."

Matt was very uneasy, "doctor I have a family waiting that expected me home almost three months ago."

Bart took a drag on his smoke, "I understand. I suppose Caleb never expected to have someone here when he died."

"Well, since you put it that way doctor." Matt thought a minute, "will you be getting to a town that has a telegraph any time soon?"

"I'll probably be getting to Fort Collins in a few days. Why?"

"Do you have a piece of paper and pencil?"

Bart went through his bag and produced the items Matt had requested. "If you could send this telegram I would really appreciate it." Matt handed the message and some money to Bart, **Dr. John Chapman, New Orleans…Caleb very sick… close to death…I'll be home soon, don't worry… Matt**

He looked down at the piece of paper then looked back at Matt, "Sure thing Matt." Bart mounted his horse and turned back to face Matt. "You truly are a good friend. I know your family misses you and I'm sure you miss them but Caleb is all alone. No one should die alone."

Matt smiled, "if you could send that as soon as you hit town I'd really appreciate it."

"I will. Good luck Matt."

"Thanks doctor." As Bart rode down the trail Matt breathed a sigh of relief. He was sure Kitty would rather have him home but he knew she would understand. As long as she knew where he was it would put her mind at ease. He continued to fill the cabin with wood all the time thinking about seeing his family again.

"Matt now, leave the rest for tomorrow. I'll be feeling somewhat better then and I can help ya."

"Caleb you just relax I have this covered."

Caleb raised his voice, "Matt I'm perfectly capable of handlin' these things myself. Now I appreciate ya bein' here but I don't need to be feelin' like an invalid."

"I didn't know that was what I was doing." Matt stacked the last cord of wood in the corner.

"What'd that doctor tell ya?"

"He said you needed to rest and not do any heavy work."

"Them doctors don't know nothin' Matt. It's old age I tell ya. It's just a way to get some money out of ya."

"Well, maybe so but I'm going to listen to him."

"For how long Matt? Do you think that pretty little lady ya married is gonna' wait forever? She's much too handsome a woman to be alone for too long."

"You can say whatever you want but I'm still staying."

"Did that doctor tell ya I was gonna' die or somethin'?"

"As a matter of fact yes."

Caleb flailed his arm, "shoot Matt he says that every time he comes up here. It's been almost three years since he started sproutin' that nonsense." He stared at Matt, "not that I haven't enjoyed the company but I think it best that ya leave."

Matt stood to get them a drink, "well, you better get use to me because I'm staying."

Caleb became very upset, "if ya aren't the most pig headed old fool I'd ever did knowd. Now what about ya family?"

"Caleb they'll be fine. The doctor is going to send a telegram so they'll know exactly where I am. Now, what's next on the list?"

Dr. Bart Danvers loved being a doctor and especially loved the remote area he called an office. This was definitely a young man's assignment, long hours, rough terrain, nights spent under the stars, and no one to share his life with, well, except his horse Shadow. He had just spent a cold night on the ground and was looking forward to getting to Fort Collins for a nice hot bath, a soft mattress, and a bottle of his favorite whiskey. The winter was rapidly approaching and during those months he hoped that his patients would remain safe until the first thaw when he could make his rounds again. He had been particularly worried about Caleb and had even thought of staying with him this winter just in case the poor man died in his sleep. He was very happy to see that an old friend would be with Caleb in his final days. He reached into his pocket to make sure he had the message for Matt's family then he hopped on Shadow and headed for Fort Collins whistling as he went. He was about twenty miles from town when he got to thinking about Matt. With all his talk about getting home to his family it puzzled Bart that he would be sending a telegram to a doctor. Bart shook his head thinking that Matt was a strange one but he was just so thankful that someone was staying with the poor man throughout the winter. As he rounded the bend a shot rang out and pierced through his upper body and a second shot hit his lower back as he fell to the ground. Two men were up on the ridge, the smoke just clearing the barrel of one of the men's rifle. "Augie I got 'em, I hit old Preacher. We be rich Augie, now let's get on down there and claim what rightfully be ours."

Augie ran as fast as his stubby little legs would carry him. He was the first to reach Bart and the first to turn the doctor over. His face told the story, "Jeb, I thinks it best ya take a look see over here."

"What it be Augie?"

Jeb took out the wanted poster from his inside pocket and placed it next to Bart's face. "See whats I mean Jeb, this ain't be no Preacher."

"Well, from fars away it be lookin' like him." He grabbed at Bart's jacket, "Ain't he be dressed like him Augie?"

"Maybe he be dressed like him but it ain't be him Jeb. What da we do now?"

Jeb looked around, "we gets out of here 'fore someone sees us that's what we do."

"Jeb we can'ts be leavin' him here."

"Augie he be dead. How we gonna' explain that, huh?"

"Still Jeb I don'ts feel right just leavin' him here."

"Then ya be a stayin' here and feel sorry for the blame fool wearin' old Preacher's clothes. That's what gots him kilt ya know. It's his own fault, blame fool."

Augie watched Jeb walk away shaking his head. He looked down at Bart's body and although filled with remorse he quickly turned and ran after his friend.

A day later a wagon carrying a family west slowed down as they approached Bart's body. The older man turned to his wife, "stay in the wagon Martha. I'll go see what it is."

Their oldest son jumped from the wagon and ran after his father, "Pa, what is it?"

The father held up his hand, "get back to the wagon son and get me the shovel."

"But Pa, what is it?"

"Just do what ya told son and get me the shovel."

The father took the tool from his son and walked over to the body. He looked over at the horse grazing close by and noticed what he thought was a doctor's bag. He walked closer and opened the bag and wondered who would want to kill a doctor. He hitched the horse to the back of his wagon and came back to bury Bart and his precious cargo.

Kitty came down the stairs dressed to assume her role of hostess of _**Russell's**_. She had been feeling a little better since John had talked his good friend into helping find Matt. Although she knew it might take some time she was confident they would return with good news. She walked into the kitchen as Maggie was feeding the children. Maggie smiled, "Miss Kitty you look so beautiful."

"Well, Maggie, this is probably the first day in a long time that I feel beautiful."

She kissed and hugged her children, "Mommy are you gonna' get my daddy?"

"Not today Matthew but I really believe we are going to hear something soon."

"Daddy is hurt?"

"He could be Matthew that's why some nice men are going to go up into the mountains and find him. Now you be a good boy for Aunt Maggie and I'll be home very soon. OK?" Matthew shook his head as Kitty headed for the front door.

There was a huge roar when Kitty stepped into the building. Sam and Festus stood at the bar and watched as she made her way through the room. "Well, I certainly didn't expect that!"

"Miss Kitty, everyone here sure missed you. I know I'm so glad you're back."

"Sam, it was wrong of me to let everyone take on my responsibility. I am truly sorry and I thank you."

"Miss Kitty, we all understood you needed some time. I was more than happy to do it."

"That goes fer me too Miss Kitty. There ain't be nothin' I won't do fer ya whenever ya be needin' it."

She laid her hand on the hill man's arm, "thank you Festus. Now, if you will excuse me, I think I'll go into my office and catch up on some things. I'll see you later." Kitty was going over the books and was surprised to see someone had taken very good care of them while she was away. She figured it was John and she smiled. She stood and poured herself a drink and sat back down to verify all that was done. She took a sip but it didn't taste right so she shrugged her shoulders and went back to her ledgers. She started getting tired so she closed the books, stretched, and made her way back to the bar. Most of the crowd had left with just a few stragglers finishing up their drinks. "Everything OK with the books?"

"Yes Sam, someone had taken very good care of them while I was away."

"That was Dr. Chapman Miss Kitty."

"I figured as much. Could you pour me a drink Sam? I think I would like the Napoleon brandy."

"Sure thing." Sam placed the drink in front of her. "Hear anything more about your husband?"

"No, I haven't Sam but I'm more hopeful today that we will soon."

"I hope so he's a very nice man."

Kitty smiled, "he's the best." Sam went back to his closing routine as Kitty sipped her drink and watched the last of her customers leave. She started to feel a little dizzy so she moved toward a table to steady herself when she lost her balance and fell to the floor. Sam heard the crash and came running. He got on his knees and turned Kitty around but she was out cold. "Festus…Festus!"

The jingling of the spurs told him Festus was approaching. "What it be Sam?"

It was then that he saw Kitty lying on the floor, "I think you best get Dr. Chapman."

"I'll doer Sam, be back directly." As Festus ran out of the building Sam held Kitty tight feeling so helpless and trusting everything was going to be all right.


	16. Something There To Remind Me Of You

Kitty opened her eyes to a look of concern on John's face, "how are you feeling?"

She whispered. "Where am I?"

"You're in the bedroom of the second floor apartment." Kitty looked around and smiled as she remembered the last time she and Matt were here.

"How did I get here?"

"Sam carried you up, you fainted tonight." John placed his hand on her arm, "do you remember anything at all?"

Kitty nodded, "yes, I remember feeling dizzy and trying to get over to the table."

John shook his head, "but you never made it, you hit the floor instead."

Kitty started to get up, "well, I'm feeling better now…"

John grabbed her by the shoulders, "you just sit back down for a little while and get your bearings."

"John I have to get home to the children. I don't want them to think their mother has deserted them too."

"They know full well their mother wouldn't do that. Anyway they are probably asleep by now so I want you to just rest a minute. Can you do that?"

Kitty smiled, "I guess I can." She rubbed his arm, "pretty inauspicious way to begin my return, wouldn't you say?" She was lost in her thoughts for a second, "oh, by the way, thank you so much for keeping my books in order." John smiled weakly, "John…is there something wrong?"

He stared for second, "Kitty I was a little concerned about you when Festus came and told me you had passed out."

"I appreciate that John but…"

He held up his hand, "let me finish. I would like to examine you further but I believe," John looked down and paused.

Kitty squeezed his arm, "John, what is it?"

He raised his head and stared into her worried blue eyes. He took a deep breath, "I believe you could be pregnant again."

She sat straight up in bed, "I'm what?"

John gently guided her body against the pillow, "it's not conclusive but…"

Kitty sat up again, "John this can't be. I faithfully used what you and Doc gave me and…" her face dropped then she whispered, "except for the day Matt told me he wanted to leave and we made love here." She shook her head as she slightly chuckled, "I swear that man never misses!"

John smiled, "seems that way." He held her hand, "are you all right with this Kitty?"

"Well, I guess I'm going to have to be." She took a deep breath, "not what I had planned, that's for sure, but I guess it will keep my mind occupied until we find Matt." She squeezed John's hand, "won't he be surprised when he gets home."

John smiled as he rubbed her hand, "he certainly will be."

Kitty began to rise, "John, could you help me home? I want to be near my children."

John obliged, "sure Kitty."

Maggie had just finished checking in on Matthew and Katie and was settling in on the sofa reading the paper when John and Kitty came through the front door. It wasn't a surprise to see John; he had been her constant companion since Matt had left. She overheard John asking if Kitty was going to be all right and she watched as Kitty smiled and tenderly touched his face and kissed him on the cheek. John called in to wish Maggie a good night and then left. Kitty walked toward Maggie and sat down next to her good friend. "I hope the children didn't give you any problems tonight."

"Miss Kitty, they are a pleasure to watch. I read to Matthew and Katie and they were out like a light."

"Good."

Kitty sat for a moment deep in thought. "Are you all right?"

She turned toward Maggie, "I'm fine, why?"

"I thought I heard Dr. John asking if you were all right. You're not feeling poorly, are you?"

Kitty shook her head, "no Maggie I'm fine. It's just that…well…John believes I'm pregnant again." Maggie stared not sure how to respond. Kitty reached over and held her hand, "I guess I suspected it all along. For awhile there I wanted to believe that it wasn't true. I guess that's why I just wanted to lie in bed and feel sorry for myself but then I began to think that this was Matt's child and if he never comes…" Kitty paused, "anyway he'll still be with me," she held her hand over her stomach. "It'll help me feel close to him again until we get some news."

Maggie placed her hand over Kitty's, "I'm so happy for you Miss Kitty." Maggie smiled, "Matt is going to be very happy too."

Kitty nodded, "oh, and Maggie, please don't say anything to Doc about this the next time you write him. I'd rather tell him in person if he ever gets the chance to get down here. Did he mention when he might be coming next."

"No but I'm hoping he will for the holidays."

Kitty patted Maggie's hand. "Me too." She stood, "Maggie it's been a long day I think I'm going to go to bed."

"If you need anything you let me know, OK?"

"I will. Good night Maggie."

"Good night Miss Kitty."

Kitty entered Matthew's room and sat on the edge of his bed. She gently ran her hand over his head and kissed his forehead. He was growing so fast and she prayed he wouldn't grow up without his father. She was able to placate him so far but the longer Matt stayed away the harder that was going to be. She didn't want either of her children to think they were the reason for their father's disappearance and she was determined to shield them from feeling that pain. A few moments later she stood and walked into her bedroom. She first went over to Katie's crib and looked down at her sleeping daughter. Katie was becoming such a daddy's girl before Matt left and Kitty feared what an absent father would mean to Katie's life. She knows all too well what a wayward father can do to a little girl and Kitty would be firm in her resolve to do all she can to not let history repeat itself. Katie might not be as vocal as Matthew about her father's disappearance but Kitty knows she looks for him just as much. She ran her hand across her daughter's head and smiled. She pressed her lips against her fingers and tenderly touched Katie's cheek. She went into the next room to perform her nightly ritual then positioned the pillows up against the headboard. She sat against the pillows and glanced down at her middle as she slowly ran her hand over her nightgown. This child might never know their father and Kitty felt a sense of sadness at the thought. She needed a diversion from her melancholy thoughts so she opened a book and began to read. After awhile she realized it was becoming too hard to concentrate on the written words so she placed the book on the nightstand, dimmed the light, and sunk down under the covers to try and sleep. She stared up at the ceiling for what seemed like an eternity with only one thought in mind, _where are you Cowboy_?

It was the beginning of November and a good amount of snowfall surrounded the cabin. With the onset of winter there was less and less to do outdoors and Matt was beginning to find the time spent in the cabin very confining. He hated himself for not getting off the train and returning home when he had the chance. He would give anything to be in Kitty's arms again and being a father to Matthew and Katie. It had only been five months since he left but he would bet his children were getting big. Caleb on the other hand was enjoying the company. He had come to tolerate the solitary life after his wife Elk Woman and their daughter had died and although the winters were always the roughest stretch for him Matt's presence had brightened his spirits. He now had his good friend to reminisce about the old times and to share the months of loneliness with but for Matt his thoughts were only on his family and the day he could return to New Orleans. One night they were playing a few hands of poker and every card skimming across the table reminded Matt of his wife. He never could understand how she so deftly handled a deck of cards and how she could make the most professional gambler look like a mere amateur. He was looking at his hand and smiling. "How many Matt?"

"Hmm?"

"How many cards ya want?"

Matt looked at his hand again, "oh…um…two."

Caleb watched his good friend, "ya have to throw out two."

"What?"

Caleb signaled towards Matt's hand, "Ya have to throw out two before I can give ya two." Matt quickly discarded two cards and picked up the two dealt him. "So what ya got?"

"Huh?"

"I just called ya…what ya got?"

"Two pair," Matt threw down his cards.

"I got three sevens but I could probably have nothin' fer all the thought ya puttin' into this game."

Matt smiled, "sorry Caleb it's just that…well…I guess whenever I look at cards I think of Kitty."

"Good player is she?"

"To this day I'm still amazed at how good." Matt took a sip of coffee and chuckled, "I don't think she liked it too much when I asked her to stop dealing at the Long Branch."

"Why'd ya do that?"

"Fear mostly."

"Aw, don't be joshin' me now Matt, I don't think I ever heard ya say ya feared anythin'."

Matt took another sip of his coffee, "fear of losing her I suppose. I didn't want some gambler coming after her if he felt he was cheated."

"Had it bad fer her back then, huh?"

"Never wanted to admit it so I let the badge consume my life and I gave her what was left…which, I'm ashamed to say, wasn't much." He shook his head, "I wasted a lot of years."

"Yeah but it worked out fer ya, didn't it?"

Matt shook his head, "only because I was very lucky that she is the woman she is." Matt stood and stretched his massive frame, "Caleb I think I'm gonna' turn in, good night."

"Night Matt."

Matt walked over to the cot and wrapped his body under the lamb's wool cover. He was sure Kitty had gotten the message by now and would be relieved that he was alive and well. If the doctor was right it would only be a matter of months and he would be headed home to his family.

John came through the front door and Matthew ran to him. "Uncle John, Uncle John, Mommy got me a new book. Can ya read it to me…huh…can ya?"

Kitty entered the hall and John smiled, "well, you're filling out very nicely."

She ran her hand over her stomach, "and I'm feeling very well too."

The moment was interrupted by Matthew tugging on John's jacket, "can ya…can ya read it to me?"

He rustled Matthew's hair, "I certainly will Matthew but first I want to speak with your Mommy a minute so why don't you go find your sister and as soon as I'm finished here I'll read this to both of you…what do you say?"

"OK." Matthew ran toward the kitchen.

"What did you want to talk to me about John?"

He took Kitty by the arm and led her to the sofa, "one of Gerard's friends wired him to say that they know for certain Matt did get to Denver. It seems when he went to rent a horse the guy knew Matt from his lawman days and was more than happy to loan him a horse for however long he needed it. He did say that Matt headed north but he hasn't seen Matt since."

Kitty's mood brightened, "well, that's a start."

"It is but as of yet they have not found anyone who is willing to make the trip. Winter is setting in up there so they might not be able to find someone until spring."

Kitty put her head down, "Oh."

John took her hands, "Kitty now we can't give up hope. Who knows they may still find someone who knows that country well enough that winter means nothing to them."

"I appreciate what you're trying to do John, and I thank you for it, but realistically they are saying it doesn't look good."

John wished he could have had better news but at least one piece of the puzzle was solved. He hoped that Matt wasn't hurt on his way to Caleb's because his chances of survival in the dead of winter would be slim. He had almost hoped Matt had decided to stay with Caleb although John could never imagine Matt choosing the desolate mountains over his family. At least one thought could be put to rest he wasn't in Denver living with a much younger woman. Matthew came running in with Katie slowly walking behind. "Can ya read to us now Uncle John?"

"Now Matthew, your Uncle John is a very busy man."

John smiled, "I always have time for the children Kitty. Come on climb up…that's it…comfortable?" Matthew shook his head as John placed Katie on the other side of him. "OK now…once upon a time…" As John read Kitty smiled, she was so lucky to have him as a friend.

It was a few weeks before Christmas and Maggie was up in her bedroom with the letter that John had given her. She sat in the chair for a moment clutching the letter before she took a deep breath and opened it.

_My dearest Margaret,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. We are having a horrible winter here in Dodge and I wish you were here to make my spirits soar. As of now it doesn't look like I'll be able to make it to New Orleans for the holidays and that thought brings such sadness to my heart. I have enjoyed your letters immensely and they are the only thing that brightens my otherwise lonely life. Everything here is the same, gunshot wounds, broken bones, babies being born, and a concussion or two from those dang blame fool farmers who think nothing of scaling barns with all the dexterity of a rhinoceros. They're lucky they don't kill themselves! How are my grandchildren doing? They must be getting big. How's my big lug of a friend? I hope he's becoming more settled and finally realizing what is important in life. He is so fortunate to have Kitty for some other woman would have walked away a long time ago. I'm going to head down to the Long Branch now for a nightcap. I miss you dearly and it breaks my heart that I will not be able to spend the holidays with you. Write soon please, it's the only thing I live for nowadays._

_Yours always,_

_Galen_

She stared at the letter for a little while then shrugged her shoulders, stood, and put the letter on her dresser. She came down the back staircase and walked into the dining room as Kitty was putting the finishing touches on the decorations. She looked over at Maggie, "John mentioned that he gave you a letter from Doc. Is he coming for the holidays?"

"No, I'm afraid not."

Kitty walked over and hugged her friend, "looks like it's just us girls this year Maggie."

Maggie smiled, "and the children."

Kitty looked over to where Matthew and Katie were playing, "I don't know what I would do if I didn't have them."

"Miss Kitty, you sure you don't want me to tell Galen about your pregnancy? I'm sure he would want to be here to deliver the baby."

"No Maggie. As much as I want him here I'd rather tell him in person or," Kitty ran her hand across her middle, "as the case may be, show him."

"He'll be so happy, another grandchild to love."

Kitty gave a slight laugh, "I don't know about that."

"What do you mean?"

"Maggie, the good doctor was adamant that I should not make any attempt to have another child."

"Oh?"

"But surprisingly I feel so much better than I ever felt while I was carrying Matthew and Katie." She shrugged her shoulders, "go figure."

Maggie laughed. "Maybe you're finally getting the hang of it."

Kitty put her hand up on Maggie's shoulder and chuckled, "maybe so Maggie, maybe so." Kitty looked back at Matthew and Katie then turned to Maggie, "need some help with dinner? It seems the children are fully occupied and I have some time on my hands."

"It would be a pleasure sharing the kitchen with you." Maggie and Kitty laughed as they made their way into the next room.

The sun was rising above the horizon bringing with it another Christmas morning. Matthew jumped out of bed and ran to his mother's room and began shaking Kitty's arm. "Mommy, Mommy wake up it's Christmas." Kitty slowly opened her eyes to see the excitement in her son's face. She sat up against the headboard and helped him up to sit next to her on the bed. "Mommy, do you think Santa Claus brought my daddy home?"

Trying not to break into tears she softly whispered, "Santa only brings toys to little boys and girls Matthew. He'd have no place to put a grown man like your father."

Matthew dropped his head, "oh."

She picked his little head up with her finger tip. "We're going to hear any day now Matthew. Someone will find your father I just know it and you're going to have to believe that too. OK?" Matthew shook his head, climbed down off the bed, and went back to his room.

It was Christmas day at the Dillon's. The children were busy opening their presents and their Uncles John, Festus, and Sam were doing their best to make it a happy occasion for both Matthew and Katie. Maggie walked up behind Kitty, "the children look very happy Miss Kitty."

Kitty turned to look at Maggie, "it didn't start out that way this morning." She pointed to the men in the living room. "I'm so lucky to have those three men in my life right now. I just wish Doc was here."

"You and me both." Kitty put her arm around Maggie and smiled.

Matt woke and lay for quite awhile staring up at the ceiling. He was pretty sure it was Christmas and his thoughts were consumed by Kitty and the children. He smiled when he thought of last year's Christmas morning and how Kitty and he welcomed the day. He closed his eyes trying to envision that morning and needing so desperately to touch her again but most of all he would miss his children opening their presents and the sheer delight streaking across their faces. He hoped that Kitty was missing him as much and by now had come to understand the decision he made and appreciate that he couldn't leave a good friend alone to die. He heard Caleb stirring and watched him walk over to the fireplace to make some coffee. "Merry Christmas Caleb."

Caleb turned, "is it that time already? Bein' out here by yerself fer so many years makes a man tend ta ferget."

Matt threw on his pants over his long johns. "Did you and Elk Woman celebrate this holiday Caleb?"

"Naw, we were just good ta each other every day. Didn't need no day set aside fer that. Supposin' you did though." Caleb turned to look at Matt. "Thinkin' 'bout that today, are ya?" He threw a couple of logs on the fire.

"A little."

"Yeah, thought so. I heard ya moanin' a little this mornin'." Caleb turned with a raised eyebrow.

"Moaning?"

"Ya do that from time ta time. Figured ya just havin' a recallin' or some such." He scooped the coffee in to boil." Man has needs there's no denyin'."

Matt blushed as he continued buttoning his shirt, "I'm sure you miss Elk Woman."

Both men moved to the table. "More than life itself Matt. Nothin' like havin' her ta hold at night, lyin' 'fore the fire, strokin' that smooth skin. Guess I don't need to explain none of that ta ya I'm sure." Matt gave him a sheepish look and shook his head. Caleb smiled, "that woman could read me like a book. Nothin' she say that didn't have some truth ta it even if I was stubborn like an old mule thinkin' I knowd everythin' and wouldn't listen." Caleb raised his hand, "oh we had our fights I don't want ya ta think that everythin' was always good betwixt us but ya know none of that matters now. I'd give my life to be able ta spend one more day with her." Caleb stood to check on the coffee. "That's why I think the first sign of clearin' ya should be on yer way. No sense stayin' here with me when ya could be puttin' that moanin' ta good use."

Matt shook his head, "I appreciate what you're saying Caleb but I wouldn't feel right leaving you here alone and neither would Kitty."

"If ya aren't the blame sorriest man I'd ever been around. Ya got a handsome wife and children who ya love very much and ya have decided ta stay with me? I always thought ya were crazy now I knowd fer sure."

Matt shot Caleb a disgusted look, "hand me a cup, will ya?"

_**Russell's **_had another successful New Year's Eve and as the last patrons were leaving and Sam was locking the doors Kitty, John, Maggie, and Festus were sitting at a table in quiet conversation. Sam brought over a nightcap for them all as they raised their glasses in a toast to a better year and to finding Matt. The children had fallen asleep on the second floor so Kitty had decided to stay. John took Maggie home and Sam went to the third floor apartment. Festus stayed behind to talk with Kitty. "Miss Kitty 'fore ya go ta bed I be needin' ta talk with ya."

Kitty walked over to the table and Festus followed, "what is it Festus?"

"Sittin' here tonight just didn't feel right ta me."

"In what way?"

"Well, ole Matthew is out there somewheres and we be just sittin', frettin', and worryin' then not doin' nothin' 'bout it."

"John's friend is looking into it Festus. There's not much more we can do."

"Sure there is I could go up inta them mountains and look fer Matthew my ownself."

"Uh, uh, Festus, no, out of the question."

"Miss Kitty now ya got two youngins that be born and one youngin that still needs ta be born and them three needs a father. It makes no never mind ta me to be up there in the winter."

Kitty placed her hand on his arm, "Festus I appreciate what you want to do but I need you here."

"Fiddle Miss Kitty, ya got Sam and Dr. John. I don't be doin' nothin' that someone else can't be doin'."

"Festus I trust you with my life, there aren't many people I can say that about."

"I thank ya for sayin' them nice words and all but I think Matthew trusts me with his life too. I gots to try, don't cha see?"

Kitty lowered her head and the tears began to fall. Festus could see the drops darkening the linen tablecloth. He stood and threw his arms around Kitty. "Miss Kitty now don't cry. It be all right."

Kitty finally was able to compose herself and looked up at Festus. "Festus, please, let's see what happens with the people in Denver. I don't know much about tracking but I assume you wouldn't be able to pick up any tracks now anyway and the thought of you spending nights out in the cold, well, as much as I want Matt here I couldn't ask you to do something like that."

Festus put his arms out to plead his case, "but yer not askin' me, I'm a offerin'"

"Festus I think it's safe to say that Matt wouldn't want you out in the cold either. Now, let's just see what the Denver folks come up with."

Festus shook his head, "well, then night Miss Kitty."

Kitty grabbed his arm as she stood. He could see the tears developing in her eyes, "I already lost Matt I can't afford to lose you too."

He held her in a hug and patted her back, "Matthew ain't lost Miss Kitty, he's gonna' be back. I garuntee it."

She looked at her good friend and smiled. "Walk me upstairs Festus?"

He smiled, "ya betcha."

Kitty said good night to Festus and walked into the apartment. She walked over to the children to see both were sound asleep. After she had changed into her night clothes she slipped under the blanket and sat up against the headboard to think. Only time will tell if she made the right decision.

Matt was finding it hard to fall asleep. His mind kept drifting back to last New Year's Eve at _**Russell's**_ and how well the evening ended. He wondered where Kitty was at that moment and was hoping she had decided to stay in the bed they spent their night together last year. It was memories like those that kept him going and he hoped they were doing the same for her. He wasn't sure what time it was as he turned on his side this New Year's day he just knew he missed her terribly and was looking forward to the day he would have more than just memories to live on.

It was the beginning of February and still no sign of Matt. John had heard from Gerard but his friends in Denver had still not found anyone to make the trip north. Doc had not responded to Maggie's last letter and she began to worry that he might be sick or working long hours which could be endangering his health. As the days had gone on the children stopped their daily asking about their father and Kitty feared that might mean he was slipping from their memory. Maggie took the children out for a walk to give Kitty some time to rest. She was sitting on the sofa when she heard a knock at the door. She opened the front door to find Captain Fournier. He looked surprised at Kitty's bulging frame, "Mrs. Dillon, may I come in?"

"Sure Captain, what can I do for you?" She led him to the sofa and then smiled, "I can tell by the look on your face you're surprised at my current figure."

Eric smiled, "yes ma'am I am."

"Well, Captain, my husband decided to take a trip at the most inopportune time."

"That's what I came to see you about ma'am."

"Please Captain, call me Kitty."

Eric smiled, "only if you call me Eric." Kitty nodded, "Sometimes news travels slowly in the department especially when the news doesn't pertain to New Orleans. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I just heard about Matt. Has anyone been able to locate him?"

Kitty shook her head, "no, it seems there aren't too many people that want to make that trip so all we can do is sit and wait."

"Was he on government business by any chance?"

Kitty shook her head, "no, just visiting a friend. He wanted to do some hunting and fishing."

"Well, he could have done that not too far away from here."

Kitty chuckled, "that would have been too easy Eric. No, when Matt gets an idea in his head it has to be on a grand scale I'm afraid."

"It must be very hard on you especially now," Eric pointed to Kitty's body.

She rubbed her protruding belly, "You might find this funny Eric but it's this baby that has kept me sane all this time."

Eric put his head down, "I just wish I could do something." He looked back up at Kitty, "One of the reasons I was hoping Matt would have joined the force was because of his long tenure as a U.S. Marshal in a chaotic western town probably known more for its violence than anything else. Your husband brought stability and respectability to Dodge and his reputation, well, it's almost legendary. I don't know if this will be of any consolation to you but I believe Matt has an innate ability to think on his feet, instinctual about things you might say. Now, I will admit he hasn't been in the wilderness in awhile but I have no doubt that his sense of survival is as keen as ever." Eric reached over and took her hand, "he's still alive Kitty I know it." Kitty smiled, "my only regret is I wasn't good enough to convince him to join the force. I'm sorry he turned us down."

Kitty agreed, "to tell you the truth Eric I wish he had taken that job now too."

"Kitty it was only because of you and your children that he didn't. I know it wasn't an easy decision for him, I could see it in his eyes. I could tell he would have loved to get back into it again. I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad I just want you to know that you and your children were his number one priority."

Kitty placed her hand over his, "thank you Eric for saying such nice things."

"I'm not just saying them Kitty I mean them. Matt wouldn't be away from his family for a long period of time without a good reason. It's not possible and I know that having only met him a couple of times. I don't have too many contacts outside of Louisiana but I will get in touch with the ones I do have to see if someone might have seen Matt recently."

Kitty nodded. "I'll appreciate anything you can do."

Eric patted her hand, "sure." He stood, "now, I think I took enough of your time so if you will excuse me."

He helped Kitty up, "thank you Eric and I really do appreciate you stopping by." Kitty kissed him on the cheek which made him blush.

They walked into the hallway, "Matt's a good man." Eric opened the door and turned back to Kitty, "stay the course Kitty, Matt's going to show up I just know he will." Kitty nodded as she closed the door. She slowly returned to the sofa and just as she situated herself in a comfortable position there was a knock on the door. She slowly lifted herself up out of the sofa and walked toward the hallway. As she turned the knob, "did you forget something Eric?" With the door wide opened her eyes widened, "Doc!"

His huge grin turned to anger as he quickly ran passed Kitty yelling, "Matt! Matt! Where are you, you selfish one track mind troglodyte. Do you want to kill your wife? Matt! I warned you."

Kitty came up behind him. "Doc calm down."

"I'll calm down once I give that husband of yours a piece of my mind!"

"You can't Doc."

"What do you mean I can't?"

"Well, because he's not here."

"Kitty, honey, I intend to say for a few months so I'll just make myself comfortable inside and I'll wait for him to return." Doc moved toward the sofa and sat down.

Kitty followed and sat down next to him, "it's going to take more than a few months Doc."

Doc looked perplexed, "what do you mean more than a few months?"

"Matt left to visit Caleb the end of June and no one has heard from him since."

Doc jumped up, "what? You mean to tell me that he left you in this condition?"

"Doc he has no idea I'm pregnant besides this isn't only Matt's fault. I had a hand in it too you know."

Doc shook his head as he paced, "you're no match for him my dear once he starts sniffing around you!"

Kitty shot him a surprised look, "you make it sound so primal."

Doc ran his hand over his moustache as he sat back down next to her on the sofa, "I'm sorry I didn't mean it to sound like that. I know what you and Matt have goes way beyond physical need and," Doc became agitated again, "why wasn't I told about your condition… and Matt?"

"Maggie wanted to tell you Doc but I asked her not to because I wanted to tell you in person. I don't want you to blame her; she didn't like keeping the truth from you."

Doc thought for a moment and then took Kitty's hands. "I don't know where my manners are. I should be asking how you're feeling."

"I'm slowing down a little now but I feel much better than I did with either Matthew or Katie."

Doc shook his head, "sometimes that happens. Now, why don't you tell me the whole story about Matt's leaving?"

Kitty smiled and began to tell Doc the story when Maggie entered the house with the two children. Matthew came running into the living room, "Pop Pop I missed you," as he ran into Doc's arms.

"Look at you young man." Doc turned to Kitty, "seems like he's grown a foot since I saw him last."

Kitty patted Doc's back, "slight exaggeration doctor."

Katie walked near, "and look at how you've grown Katie. You're as beautiful as your mother." He bent over and picked the child up as Katie smiled, "Pop Pop?"

Doc shook his head, "by golly you bet I'm your Pop Pop." He turned back to Kitty, "they are something Kitty, really something." He looked up at Maggie and then turned to Kitty, "can you take the children a minute Kitty?" Kitty smiled and placed Matthew on the floor and Katie on the sofa as Doc stood and walked over to Maggie, "I should be very mad at you for not telling me the truth about the goings on around here the past few months but I'm not going to waste any more time." He kissed her gently on the lips and held her tight. "I've missed you Maggie."

"Oh, Galen, I've missed you."

Kitty looked at Matthew and Katie. "Why don't we give your Pop Pop and Aunt Maggie some time together, OK?" With children in tow Kitty walked to the kitchen.

Doc and Maggie sat down on the sofa, "Maggie what happened here?"

"Galen I really don't know very much. One morning Miss Kitty came downstairs and said that Matt had decided to visit a friend up in the mountains for two weeks but he hasn't returned. Dr. John has a friend who knows some people in Denver and they are trying to find him but I guess there are not many people who like combing the hills especially this time of year."

Doc tugged on his ear, "I don't know what's wrong with him Maggie. He has one of the most beautiful, intelligent, wonderful women in the world not to mention two beautiful children and now one on the way. I just don't know what will satisfy him."

"I just hope nothing happened to him Galen. Miss Kitty has been living on the hope that Matt will be found. I don't know what will happen if she finds out, well, he's never coming home."

"The new baby will keep her busy for awhile." Doc snapped his fingers, "wait, has anyone asked Festus to go look for Matt?"

Maggie thought a moment, "I'm really not sure."

Doc stood, "I'm going down to _**Russell's **_and talk to him." He took Maggie by the hand and helped her up. "When I come back you pick out one of your favorite restaurants for dinner. We have a lot of catching up to do." He kissed her cheek and made his way to _**Russell's.**_

"I done tolt ya a million times already Doc Miss Kitty don't wants me ta go."

"But Festus if anyone can find Matt it's you."

"I knowd that Doc but Miss Kitty is afraid that ifn' I go and never comes back she be losin' another part of the family, don't cha see? Besides she be needin' me here since she be gettin' close ta havin' her baby and can't be here her ownself."

"But you'd probably have the best chance of finding him. Don't you think she'd rather have him here with her then worrying about losing you for heaven's sake?"

"Doc I think ya know I'd give anythin' ta help ole Matthew out but with in the snow an all I'm not sure I could even pick up any tracks now. I'm not even sure where Caleb's cabin is," Festus flailed his hand, "he be movin' around so blame much."

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "so you're telling me that you're going to just sit there offering up excuses instead of doing something positive like saving Matt's life!"

Festus moved both hands in a downward motion, "Doc, now keep ya voice down I can hear ya plain enuff."

"Oh, you're hearing all right, you're not listening very well though!"

"I just been done a tellin' ya that I be a askin' Miss Kitty a couple of times but she be wantin' me ta be a stayin' here. I don't want ta be disrespectin' her wishes Doc." Doc shook his head and stood to leave, "where ya goin' Doc?"

"To talk to someone who makes some sense!" Festus watched as Doc stormed out the front door, "ornery ole scudder."

It was the middle of March and the chill in the air wasn't as sharp as it had been which gave Matt hope the spring would be coming soon. Caleb's condition didn't seem to be getting any worse and Matt was starting to have his doubts that his death was imminent. Maybe Caleb was right about the doctor's prognosis but what if he wasn't. Matt ran his fingers through his hair as he mulled over his limited options and hating the crossroads he found himself at. He glanced over at his horse and thought how easy it would be to ride like the wind and in a couple of days be in Denver. Caleb already suggested that he should but it still didn't sit right with him and although he would be so glad to be home Caleb would weigh heavy on his mind. No, he would stay until the doctor returned or Caleb had passed on. He took a deep breath and stretched letting the air fill his cabin weary lungs. He wondered what Kitty was doing now and if she had a chance to read to the children at night. Doc was so right he was the biggest fool in the world and when he got home he didn't care how many times he reminded him of that. He longed for the day he could be home again surrounded by his children's laughter and Kitty's soft sultry voice telling him how much she loves him. As he turned toward the cabin door he prayed the doctor would be coming soon.

It was St. Patrick's Day morning and Kitty sat in bed going over what needed to be done at _**Russell's**_ for one of her favorite days of the year. She wished she could be there today to celebrate with all the other revelers from the annual parade. Last year the restaurant was packed all day long and she hoped that the staff wouldn't be overwhelmed if the same amount of patrons came this year. Kitty leaned back on the pillow trying to find a comfortable position. She was certainly out of sorts and was hoping the baby would be born soon. Thankfully Doc had decided to visit now and between him, Maggie, and John she only had to worry about herself. The past couple of months the children had become enamored with her growing belly and she enjoyed watching them ponder why she was so large. She loved those days lying in bed with Matthew and Katie reading books and playing children's games. If nothing else this pregnancy and Matt's absence gave her an opportunity to spend more time with them and she was thoroughly enjoying it. She was resting when Doc came in the bedroom. "How's my favorite pregnant woman?"

Kitty rubbed her stomach, "feeling very big."

Doc patted her hand, "well, it'll all be over soon."

Kitty grabbed Doc's hand, "Doc, am I crazy to want this child so much?"

"I would think it crazy if you didn't." He held her hand to take her pulse.

"He just has to come home Doc."

Doc squeezed her hand, "he will honey, he will, but in the meantime I don't want you to think about anything else but having this child, you hear me?"

Kitty smiled, "I hear you Doc."

"Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going back downstairs and play with my grandchildren."

He leaned over and gave her forehead a kiss. "See you later Doc."

Doc was coming down the stairs when John walked through the door. "How's our patient?"

"She's remarkable I'll tell you that much. With all she's been through," Doc shook his head, "simply remarkable."

John put his hand up on Doc's shoulder, "I'm sure your being here has lifted her spirits."

"Not as much as it has lifted mine, I'll tell you that much. Oh, and John, I want to thank you for all you've done. I don't think Kitty would have made it this far if it wasn't for you."

"I just want her to be happy Galen, she deserves to be."

"Well, she's lucky to have you." Doc pointed toward the living room, "I was just going in to play with my grandchildren…say…aren't they amazing?"

John smiled, "they certainly are Galen." Doc walked into the living room and John went upstairs.

John slowly opened Kitty's bedroom door and Kitty greeted him with a huge smile. "Oh John, please come in."

He walked closer to the bed, "how are you feeling?"

"Neither you nor Doc leave me alone long enough to feel anything but good."

John smiled, "Is that a complaint I hear?"

Kitty laughed, "oh, heaven's no, I love all the attention."

"Good because neither one of us are going to stop."

Kitty sighed, "John, how much longer, do you know?"

He placed his hand on her arm, "Kitty even you should know by now that babies come when they're good and ready."

"How's the restaurant doing? Were you able to stop by?"

"Yes and they are doing just fine. Sam and Festus are doing a very good job keeping your clientele happy but you are very much missed down there today."

Kitty smiled and patted John's hand, "that's so nice to hear."

"Well, it's the truth."

She ran her hands over her face, "I was crazy to start that project. It's why I lost Matt you know. I know it was because I wasn't paying enough attention to him."

"Now Kitty first of all you didn't lose him, he will be found and secondly, for whatever reason, it was something Matt had to do. I truly believe it didn't matter whether you owned the restaurant or not. Now I don't want you to think about that any more, all right?"

Kitty smiled and gently touched his face, "all right I will." John leaned over and kissed her forehead and then noticed the change in Kitty's facial expression.

"Something wrong Kitty?"

She gripped her stomach, "John, I think it's time."


	17. If You Only Knew

Matt sat on the top step of the porch watching an eagle soar overhead. From the moment he awoke this morning an eerie feeling consumed him that he couldn't quite shake. Although he had been experiencing a sense of loss over the past few months this feeling definitely had him more unsettled. As he watched the bird of prey circle and land at its nest he thought about his life and how lucky he was that he had a family to go home to unlike Bart and Caleb who live their lives alone. He started to chuckle thinking that six years ago people probably thought the same thing of him but his good fortune was having the one constant in his life. There was no doubt that if it wasn't for her persistence he would be living in either a small solitary shack or still tracking criminals all over creation. He stared out at the vast wilderness that years ago he planned on being his home and he felt empty. Matt knew Bart was right about not letting Caleb die alone but he also knew his family needed him as much as he needed them. It was a constant battle to resist the ever present urge to go home but he knew he had to see this through; in the meantime he just wished he could shake this strange feeling.

Doc sat at the edge of the bed and patted Kitty's head with a cool cloth. "You had quite a workout young lady."

Kitty smiled, "is it really over Doc?"

Doc tugged on his ear, "I was just as surprised as you were." Doc looked over at the two tiny bodies wrapped securely in their blankets next to Kitty. Doc looked across the room, "it looks like we're going to need another bassinet in here."

Kitty looked over at her sons, "wait till Matt sees his boys!" She looked back at Doc with tears in her eyes, "Oh, Doc what am I going to do if he never comes home?"

"Now Kitty I don't want you to think about that. You have two healthy baby boys to take care of and they're going to need their mother." He patted her hands, "but for now you're going to rest and not think about anything else except getting your strength back, you hear me?"

Kitty nodded, "I hear you Doc."

"Say, what are you going to name them?"

Kitty shrugged, "usually Matt and I would choose the name before our child was born. I guess with all that was going on I didn't give it much thought this time around."

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "well, you can't call them baby number one and baby number two you know."

Kitty smiled, "we did back in Dodge with the triplets."

"Oh…don't remind me…but no," Doc shook his head for emphasis, "no Kitty, you can't name my grand boys one and two…I forbid it!"

Kitty started to laugh, "OK, Curly settle down." She looked over at her sons, "I did have a name in mind and since this one," she pointed to the dark haired boy, "has the darker hair I'm going to name him Joseph Matthew Dillon." She placed her fingers over her mouth in thought. "Now for my fair haired son I think I'm going to name him Russell Wayne Dillon."

Doc smiled as Joseph began to cry. Doc reached over and gave the baby to Kitty as she undid her gown. "I'll give you a moment with your son." Kitty nodded as she watched Doc leave the room. She ran her hand over the top of the baby's head and then leaned her head against the pillow and closed her eyes as she sighed, "_Oh_ _Cowboy, where are you?"_

It was the middle of April and spring was in full bloom. The warmer weather lifted Kitty spirits with hope that they would hear news from Denver any day now. Her reverie was interrupted by Doc and her extremely excited children as they entered the bedroom. Kitty watched as Doc lifted one and then the other child over each bassinet so they could say hello to their new siblings. Matthew came running to the bed, "but Mommy, how did we get two of them?"

Kitty cleared her throat, "Matthew that's a discussion that we'll have when you are a lot older, OK?" Matthew shrugged his shoulders as his sister shrieked with glee at her two younger brothers.

Doc walked over to Kitty, "honey, I'm going to bring the children downstairs and I'll be right up." Kitty nodded as she watched Doc leave the room with the children. After they had gone from sight she looked over at her two sons and for the first time in her life she felt overwhelmed. Her thoughts was interrupted by her good friend, "Now, how is my favorite mother today?"

"Feeling totally inadequate." She ran her hands over her face, "Doc how am I going to handle all this without Matt?"

He patted her hands, "you won't have to. We're going to find him Kitty, now I want you to start believing that. Can you do that for me?" Kitty nodded her head as she stared at her hands on the verge of tears. He ran his hand over his moustache, "you know, if that big lug doesn't come home soon I think I'll go up there and find him myself."

Kitty smiled and gently touched the old doctor's face. "I appreciate it Curly but somehow the thought of you tracking anyone," Kitty tried to hide her laughter.

"Oh, is that so? I'll have you know that I understand my limitations and before I'd set out on such an endeavor I'd have an expert guide with me."

"Oh...and who might that be?"

"Why Tobeel…of course!"

Kitty let out with hardy laugh, "now that would be an adventure!"

Doc held her hand, "it's so good to see you laugh." He brushed a few strands of hair off her face, "I promise you we will find him."

Matt was chopping wood stopping only to look out at the trail leading to the house in the hopes that he would see Bart riding up the path. Without the constant reminders of time Matt thought this might be their anniversary and how he would give anything to be home celebrating with the woman he loves. He was placing the wood next to the fireplace as Caleb was preparing a meal. "What's up with ya today Matt, ya haven't said too much." Matt waved off the question, "somethin' must be botherin' ya."

Matt shook his head and spoke in a low voice, "I think it's our anniversary today."

Caleb looked up, "is that so, how many would it be?"

"Our fourth."

"Ah, just a youngin'." Caleb ran his hand over the back of his neck. "I'm real sorry ya came up here Matt. Ya should have left when ya said ya were goin' ta. Ya missin' a lot of memories cause of me."

"Caleb, if I was home I'd only be thinking about you here all alone and leaving you in your time of need."

Caleb shook his head in disbelief, "yer be the stubbornness man I'd ever knowd, that's fer sure." He hit Matt's arm, "what's ya say we go huntin' fer somethin' special fer tonight on account of yer anniversary?"

"If we find anything."

"Oh, we be findin' somethin' all right. I knowd just where to look." Matt shrugged and went to put on his coat. Walking through the woods would help to pass the time so he grabbed his rifle and followed Caleb out the front door.

Kitty was feeding Russell and thinking about the changes in her life. It was only a year ago today that she was lying in her husband's arms at the cottage in Metairie talking about the future and reaffirming their love. Now, as one of her infant sons took nourishment from her body, she felt so alone and the future was solely in her hands. She wondered if the day would ever come when Matt would not consume her every thought. She looked down at Russell and played with wisps of his hair. She was a very lucky woman; she had four healthy children, a successful business, and five wonderful friends who she relied on more than she should. With every day that went by she was confronted with the reality that she might have to raise the children without a father and although that frightened her at times she had never backed down from a challenge before and she wasn't about to start now. There was no doubt that the stakes were high but she owed it to her children to be strong. She smiled as Russell ended his feeding and she laid him down in his bassinet. She was on her way to get dressed when John came into the room. "Good morning John."

"Morning Kitty, how are you feeling today?"

"I'm feeling better every day." She pointed at the bassinets, "I've been very lucky that my two sons have had staggered feeding times so far…although I do have two of these," she smiled as she pointed to her breasts.

John took Kitty by the arm and sat her down on the bed, "it's a good thing you didn't have triplets then," he gave her a sly smile.

Kitty chuckled, "you're right about that."

John examined Kitty and was pleased with the progress. "You're coming along very nicely Kitty."

"Well, that's good to hear."

"I've left some formula just in case the boys get to fighting for their mother's attention at the same time. Wouldn't want to overtax the mammary gland now would we?"

"Well, at least their father isn't here to be fighting along with them." Her flippant comment made John blush. "Oh, I'm sorry John I didn't mean to,"

John held up his hand, "No, now that's a very good sign. You're unique sense of humor is slowly returning."

She smiled, "that's one way to put it."

John began to close his bag, "on that note I think I'll let you get dressed for the day and I'll see you later."

Kitty stood and grabbed John's arm as he was about to leave. He turned back to her and she cupped his face with her hand. "John I will never be able to repay you for everything you have done for me and my family. You have kept me going the past few months and you have given me strength and I thank you so very, very much." She gently kissed his lips and stroked his face.

They stared for a moment then John cleared his throat. "Kitty it's been my pleasure to be here for you and the children." He wanted to say so much more but he knew if he stayed any longer he could lose Kitty forever. Instead he would bide his time and then if Matt never returned he would make his true feelings known. He put his hand on her arm, "now why don't you get dressed and I'll see you later."

Kitty smiled, "All right John."

"Matt, did ya ever worry 'bout yer woman goin' with another man, I mean the business she was in and all and yer not bein' 'round all that much."

"No, I guess I really didn't think about that."

"Ya mean ta tell me that she be 'round so many men and ya didn't worry she be takin' a shine to one of 'em and maybe beddin' 'em."

"Caleb in my line of work if I started worrying about Kitty and the men she might be with I wouldn't be sitting here with you today, that's for sure."

Caleb took a sip of his coffee, "so yer think maybe she could've been?"

"Could've been what?"

"Beddin' other men."

Matt looked down at his cup, "do we have to talk about this?"

Caleb pointed his finger at Matt, "not so sure are ya?"

Matt looked up at Caleb, "if we're going to have this conversation I'm going to need something stronger."

Caleb passed Matt the jug. "So…ya think ya woman ever bedded down another man whilst ya were gone?"

Matt shook his head, "no."

"Now, how'd ya knowd that for certain?"

"I just know. She would have told me."

Caleb look puzzled, "ya think she's that honest a woman?"

Matt shook his head, "we didn't keep secrets from each other. No matter how painful we told each other the truth."

"So there be a truth, huh?"

Matt looked down at his cup as he swirled the liquid around the inside, "it wasn't Kitty who was unfaithful, it was me."

Caleb dismissed Matt's indiscretion, "nights can get cold and lonely when ya out on the trail fer so long and there's plenty of them women who can make a man feel real fine. We gots needs ya know."

Matt shook his head, "it wasn't anything like that."

Caleb raised an eyebrow, "what's ya mean then?"

Matt took a sip of his drink, "I was chasing after an outlaw name Les Dean. He shot me and I lost consciousness. When I came to I was in this widowed woman's house and for the life of me I couldn't remember who I was. So she nursed me back to health, gave me a name, and once I was well enough I had all intentions of leaving. In the meantime I made myself useful, did some odd chores around the ranch, until I could figure out what I was going to do or hopefully get my memory back. I guess she liked a man around the house again so she had no problem with me staying. One day Les Dean shows up at her home. It seems the owner of the next ranch over wanted her killed so he could take her land. Dean stayed the night out in the barn and I was in her bed making love to her. The next morning when she went out to give him coffee Dean told her that I was Matt Dillon, Marshal of Dodge. He had decided not to carry out the killing because he wanted us to live out the rest of our lives together, thought we deserved to be happy. When she came back in she called me Matt and you know what my first memory was? It was Kitty and that's when I knew it was she who defined my life." Matt took another drink, "I had been gone for a couple of months and when I got back to Dodge it was very late so I quietly entered her room and slipped next to her and held her so tight I thought she would suffocate. She opened her eyes and was so happy to have me home that she practically cried all night. I told her what had happened and where I was but the one thing I will never forget was the look on her face when I told her I made love to this woman." A pained look spread across Matt's face, "I never want to do anything that would cause her such hurt again."

"Phew, that be quite a story Matt." Caleb leaned over and poured himself a drink. "I guess it's a good thing ya had that there doctor send her a message. She might be thinkin' the same thing happened to ya this time. Wouldn't want her frettin' that ya might be with another widah woman."

Matt shot Caleb an annoyed look. "I guess I asked for that."

"Oh come on now Matt I just be funnin' with ya. Yer Kitty sounds like a right fine woman. Sorry I didn't get a chance ta meet her the few times I be passin' through Dodge." Caleb raised his cup in toast, "to Matt's wife Kitty fer always waitin' fer him ta return and stayin' true." He threw down his drink and yawned as he put his head on the table.

Matt stood and helped Caleb to his cot, "come on now Caleb let's get you to bed."

He laid Caleb's head on the pillow and then covered his body with the blanket. As Matt turned to leave Caleb called after him, "yer one lucky man that's fer sure Matt that ya never had ta worry 'bout yer woman. By now most woulda left ya," he yawned, "and found 'nother man to love."

Matt stood over Caleb for a moment taking in what he had just said as Caleb began to lightly snore. He walked over to his cot and ran his fingers through his hair. He undressed quickly and pulled the blanket over his body. He was finding it hard to fall asleep as all the times he disappointed Kitty ran through his mind. As he finally drifted into slumber one nagging thought remained, what if this time she wasn't waiting.

Doc and Maggie were walking along the river on a beautiful June day. They stopped at one of the benches and enjoyed the peaceful calm of the river. Doc put his arm around Maggie's shoulders and pulled her close. They sat for awhile in silence before Doc spoke, "Maggie, a man could certainly get use to this."

Maggie smiled, "you've been saying that for quite some time Galen."

Doc nodded in agreement, "I know I have but now I'm more determined than ever to make it come true." Maggie looked up as Doc held her face with his hand, "Dodge is no longer my home, you are, and I want to spend the rest of my days with you."

Maggie hugged him, "Oh, Galen I'm so happy to hear that."

Doc pulled her away to look into her face, "you sure you won't mind this old codger being under foot every day?"

Maggie shook her head, "I won't mind at all."

Doc wrapped her in his arms and placed his head on hers as they took in the surrounding landscape silently.

Matthew was sitting in the living room rocking on the horse Festus made for his birthday when his uncle walked through the door. Matthew jumped off and ran to the hill man book in hand, "Uncle Festus, can you read to me?"

Festus began to pat his chest, "now I would lil' Matthew but it seems I done fergot my spectacles."

Matthew shook his head, "but Uncle Festus you always forget your spectacles, maybe you need to tie them around you or something."

Festus patted the child's head, "maybe so youngin'. Say, why don't ya read somethin' ta me?"

Festus walked Matthew over to the sofa and the boy began to read. Festus would stop him at every sentence so he could mouth the words along with his nephew. Festus pointed and they said the word together, "the…big… brown…dog…went…back…home…to…eat." Festus looked at Matthew and smiled as he waved his hand for the boy to continue, "go on now, ya doin' real good."

The learning process proceeded until Doc walked in the door. "Say, what are you doing with my grandson?"

"He be a readin' to me Doc cause I fergot my spectacles."

Doc chuckled, "you are always forgetting them. You should tie them around your neck with a string or something."

Matthew looked up and happily agreed with Doc, "I said that too Pop Pop."

Doc pointed at Matthew, "see there, out of the mouths of babes."

Festus waved off Doc as Kitty entered the room, "and what's going on here?"

Doc pointed at Festus and Matthew on the sofa, "your son is reading to your good friend. It seems he forgot his spectacles again."

Kitty stifled her laugh, "oh, I see."

Matthew looked up at Kitty, "Mommy, Uncle Festus can read without his spectacles. His finger does the reading." Kitty looked at Doc confused, "watch Mommy, go ahead Uncle Festus."

Festus looked up at Doc and Kitty and smugly put his finger on the page, "af…af…afta… he…a…a…ate…the…b…b…big…br…br…brown…d…d…dog pla…pla…played…wit…Tim…me."

Doc shook his head as he ran his moustache across his face, "amazing…simply amazing. My grandson is a miracle worker!"

Kitty walked over and put her arm around Doc's shoulder, "what do you say we go help Maggie in the kitchen and let the learning process continue." Festus watched them leave the room feeling proud as a peacock.

Matt was lying on his cot staring up at the ceiling when Caleb came through the front door carrying the day's catch. Matt diverted his eyes for a second watching Caleb make his way through the room then stared back at the ceiling. "Matt, ya shoulda come with me. The fish were beggin' fer me ta put my line back in the water."

Matt put his hands behind his head and took a deep breath, "I'll catch supper tomorrow."

Caleb looked at his good friend and walked over to the cot. "Matt, I 'preciate you spendin' this past year with me and all but don't cha think maybe ya should be headin' on home now?"

Matt vaulted off the cot and waved his arm, "Caleb we've been over this a million times, I'm staying until that doctor comes back! I don't want to hear another word about me going home again!"

Caleb watched Matt pace the room, "what's really botherin' ya Matt?"

Matt sat down to the side of the hearth and ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't know, I guess being away from my family for a year is wearing on me some." He looked up, "I'm sorry Caleb for yelling at you just now."

Caleb took a chair and sat in front of Matt, "ya be missin' a lot of things…I suppose."

Matt shook his head, "my son turned four a couple of weeks ago. I used to read to him every night and watch him fall asleep in my arms," Matt smiled. "That was the best part of my day."

"Well, I suppose yer wife be doin' that now."

Matt nodded, "if she has the time."

Caleb looked puzzled, "what'd ya mean, ifn' she has the time."

"She owns a very successful restaurant in New Orleans that keeps her quite busy."

Caleb eyed Matt closely, "is that why ya wanted to get away? Wasn't payin' too much mind ta ya I'm figurin'." Matt didn't answer. "Ya be thinkin' maybe by now she up and went and got herself 'nother man ta be doin' the readin'?" Matt still had no response he just stared at the floor. "Aw Matt, from what ya been tellin' me she be a good woman, true blue ya said." Caleb paused a second, "Ya ain't thinkin' somethin' different now, are ya?"

Matt stood and began to pace the floor, "I don't know what I'm thinking Caleb but I know I've given Kitty enough cause to give up on me."

Caleb walked over to Matt and patted him on the back, "that's just time and distance talkin'. I betcha when ya get back home she'll never let ya outta her sight, not ta mention some pretty good love makin' I suspect." Caleb jabbed Matt in the ribs.

Matt smiled weakly, "Caleb, if this doctor doesn't show by September would you be willing to leave here and find a town that has a doctor?"

Caleb shook his head, "naw, not me Matt. I don't cotton ta doctors anyways so why would I go out of my way to find one." He looked around the cabin, "Matt this is my home and I don't want ta be leavin' it." Matt took a deep breath, "I'll tell ya what I will do though. Ifn' this doctor don't show by September I want ya ta promise me that you be headin' home anyways." Matt shot him a look as Caleb put his hands up to stop Matt from saying another word, "now, I know what ya done said and all but ya startin' to get on my last nerve with all ya bellyaching every day. I done tolt ya that this doctor been tellin' me fer years now that I was goin' ta die, heck Matt, ya might die afore me we done never knowd 'bout those things." Caleb took a deep breath, "now it's not that I don't 'preciate all the time ya done spend but ifn' the good Lord wanted me to have a nurse maid he woulda given me someone a sight better lookin' then you." Caleb smiled, "Matt, I guess what I be sayin' is ifn' that doctor don't come by September then I think it would be better for ya to leave."

Matt eyed Caleb as he extended his hand, "that's a deal old friend." Caleb grabbed Matt's hand and shook it.

It was a rainy day in New Orleans forcing the children to play inside. Doc was on the sofa holding Katie as Matthew rocked away on his horse. He was leaving in a week and the thought of returning to the dusty streets of Dodge depressed him. He had thoroughly enjoyed the months he spent with his grandchildren and was thankful he was here for the birth of two more. The more he watched the children the more he couldn't understand how Matt could leave these precious little ones for any length of time. Doc was beginning to question Matt's sanity when Matthew called him. "Pop Pop did my daddy ever ride a horse?"

"Yes, many times. He was very good at it too."

Matthew stopped rocking for a moment, "do you think that he can't come home cause he can't find a horse to ride?"

Doc could feel his eyes start to water as he cleared his throat, "by golly Matthew you know that could be it."

"Then can we find a horse for my daddy to ride so he can come home?"

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "I think that's what your Uncle John is trying to do and…"

Before Doc could finish his thought the door swung open and John hurriedly ran into the hallway, "Kitty…Kitty!"

Doc stood and made his way over to John, "I think she's upstairs. What's going on?"

Kitty came to the second floor landing as both men looked up. She began her descent to the first floor, "John, what's the matter?"

He waited until she was standing in front of him. "I just heard from Gerard. The people in Denver believe they have someone to travel north; they could be leaving within a week's time." Kitty stood still for a moment processing what John just told her. It had been so long since they heard any word that she was almost stunned by the news. He took her by the arms, "Kitty…did you hear me? Within the week we could have someone looking for Matt."

Kitty started to cry, "John, I can't believe it. Really?" John shook his head then caught up in the emotion of the moment he put his arms around her waist and twirled her around the hallway a few times then kissed her. Doc was taken aback by John's emotional outburst but was even more surprised that Kitty didn't find his behavior unusual. Kitty put her arms around the two men, "well gentlemen, I believe this calls for a celebration." They all walked into the dining room and Kitty poured the drinks.

A week later a coach slowly made its way to the train depot. The occupants were silent enjoying their final moments together before he had to leave. It had been an emotional departure from the house and Doc was not looking forward to saying his goodbyes to Maggie. He helped her down and they solemnly walked to the departing track. They held each other until they heard the conductor bellow the boarding call and Doc whispered, "no tears Maggie because I couldn't bear to see you so unhappy. I promise you I will be back for the holidays this year." He released his hold on her and held her hands. "Until we meet again," he gently kissed her lips, picked up his bag, and cupped her face with his hand. Maggie watched as he walked toward the train and found a place to sit. She waved as the train pulled away from the depot and when he was no longer in sight she cried.

It was the middle of August and Matt was lying on the river bank taking in the warmth of the sun as it caressed his large shirtless physique. It was a long day of fishing and what catch they had Caleb took back to the cabin to clean and cook but he had decided to stay awhile and take in the late afternoon sun. As much as he wished Bart would return before he left in September that wasn't going to prevent him from returning home this time. The soothing sound of the rushing stream and the soft warm summer breeze floating over his body helped him drift off to sleep. One day he would be home and the reoccurring dreams of Kitty and his children would finally become a reality.

John Chapman sat in his office and leaned back in his chair. It had been two months since he received word that someone would be searching the mountain areas north of Denver for Matt. Although they hadn't heard anything further John had a strong feeling that it was only a matter of time before Matt would be found and returned home. As happy as he knew Kitty would be he was going to miss the nights spent at the house tucking the children into bed and reading to them until they fell asleep. He would especially miss talking with Kitty and feeling a special closeness to her that he had never experienced before but once Matt returned she would no longer need him and although they would always be very good friends their budding relationship would come to an abrupt end. He took a deep breath as he stood and paced the floor of his office. He lit his pipe and sat on the sofa and sadness washed over him. He was going to miss his adopted family and Kitty most of all. What he wouldn't give to have her in love with him. He smiled when he thought about his first day in Dodge and meeting the beautiful saloon owner. He just couldn't take his eyes off her and was quite surprised to find a woman as intelligent as she was beautiful not married but he soon found out that she was very much committed. It puzzled and sometimes bothered him that Matt didn't seem to take the relationship all that seriously. He was off half the time and the few times he was in town they never seemed to have a chance to be alone. When John left town he couldn't stop thinking about her and he hoped that one day Matt would come to cherish the woman who had loved him unconditionally all those years because she deserved nothing less. Then she showed up on his doorstep one December day thinking she was pregnant and surely she was. He always loved his time alone with her and although he was quite aware that her life revolved around Matt he couldn't stop the way he felt. As he puffed on his pipe he then thought about Regina. He had been having lunch with her every so often since he first came to ask for Gerard's help. She was nice enough and he enjoyed her company and their many conversations but he couldn't progress their relationship past the lunch pleasantries. He knew the day was coming when Matt would reclaim his family and his life would again be filled with emptiness. He had come so close to having a family that he wasn't sure if he could live alone any more. He might have to be a little more receptive to the idea of having a relationship of his own and who better than an old friend. He glanced at the clock on the wall and stood. He removed his doctor's coat and put on his jacket and made his way to the front of the office. "Going out doctor?"

"Yes, Susie, I'm going to lunch."

"Good for you. We're pretty slow today so I think you can take your time."

John smiled, "now who's the doctor?" Susie laughed as John walked out of the office. Ten minutes later he was entering the Rousseau Detective Agency to a smiling Regina. "Well, stranger, how long has it been?"

John smiled, "I've been so busy lately Reggie, I'm sorry."

"No rest for the weary doctor, I see." She looked down at a couple of papers on her desk, "John I'm sorry to say but Gerard is not here."

For some reason John blushed a little before he spoke, "well, to tell you the truth Reggie I was coming to ask you to have lunch with me."

She smiled, "I would like that. Just let me grab my bag and we'll go." She came around her desk, "do you have anywhere in mind?"

John shrugged, "we can stay local if you need to."

She stood in front of John, "there is a place I would like to try."

"Where?"

"That place, the one on Royal," she snapped her fingers, "you know, the place you took Gerard."

John hesitated slightly, "you mean _**Russell's**_?"

"Yes, you know Gerard has not stopped talking about that place since you were there."

"Now Reggie, I don't want you to get your expectations up too high. It's a very nice place but I'm sure you've been to better."

"Well then, let's go and I'll be the judge."

He placed his arm around her waist as they walked toward the door. John smiled but inwardly he was on edge hopeful that Kitty would be at home.

The restaurant was bustling with a brisk lunch crowd. Regina was always impressed by John and how many people thought so highly of him but as soon as he entered the building he was treated like royalty. They were seated in a cozy little table in the corner and Sally brought him his drink then took her order. She looked around and smiled, "do you have half interest in this place?"

John laughed, "I wish I did…why do you ask?"

"The way you're treated here I would swear you were half owner at least."

John shook his head, "I have a hard enough time being a doctor without worrying about another venture."

Sally brought Regina's drink then inquired about their meal order. Regina looked up, "I think I'm going to need a few more minutes."

"Take your time I'll come back in a little while."

Regina looked over at John, "any suggestions?"

John shook his head, "I have yet to have a bad meal here." He raised his hand and pointed toward the crowded room. "As you can see the food is very good."

"I think I'm going to have the lamb." Regina closed her menu and smiled at John as Sally returned and they placed their orders. "So John, what has been keeping you so busy the past couple of months?"

He dismissed her question with a wave of his hand, "oh, just the normal doctor things."

"I heard they found someone to find your friend." She leaned closer and laid her hand on John's arm. "Do you really think he's still alive after all this time?"

"I'm hoping so Reggie."

"Close friend of yours?"

"Well, we've known each other for awhile now. I met him when I went to Dodge many years back."

As Regina further questioned John, Kitty was emerging from her office and noticed the doctor having lunch with a very attractive lady. She smiled as she made her way over to their table. She came up behind John, "If you insist on coming here so often doctor I think the next meal will have to be on the house."

John jumped out of his seat upon hearing Kitty's voice as he placed his hand on her shoulder nervously, "how are you feeling?"

Kitty smiled but continued to eye John's behavior, "I'm feeling very well today as a matter of fact, why?"

"I didn't know you had come back to the restaurant after having the children."

Kitty laughed, "John that was a few months ago…"

John ran his hand up and down her arm which did not escape Regina's notice. "I know Kitty but who's watching the children?"

"Maggie is and I was just on my way home when I saw you sitting here." She placed her hand on his chest as she turned to Regina, "he watches me like a hawk." Kitty then cupped his face with her hand, "I don't know what I would have done without him this past year, that's for sure." Regina was intrigued by the strategically placed hand and the ease with which they touched. Kitty extended her hand to Regina. "I guess we're not going to be formally introduced, I'm Kitty."

Regina took her hand, "I'm Regina. John and I are old friends; we grew up in the same neighborhood. I also work for Gerard Rousseau."

"Please to meet you. My husband is the man Gerard is trying to find."

"Oh?"

Kitty looked up at the clock, "if you two will excuse me I must get back home to my brood. It was very nice meeting you Regina."

"Nice meeting you too Kitty." She watched Kitty leave the restaurant and then she turned back to John as he sat down, "I assume she owns this place."

"Yes, she does."

"She was also in Dodge?"

"Yes, she owned the Long Branch saloon."

"Quite the entrepreneur." As Sally was serving their meals Regina remained silent although still very curious, "John?"

"Hmm?"

"Why is her husband up in northern Colorado?"

"He went to visit an old friend."

"Seems odd."

"What does?"

"Attractive woman…business owner…mother. It seems like she's a woman any man would love to be married to. Aren't you the least bit curious why her husband would want to go up to northern Colorado to visit an old friend?"

John looked up at her, "Oh, you women you always think there's an ulterior motive for everything." John smiled as he motioned with his hand, "now finish your lunch I think we can find other things to talk about besides someone's missing husband." Regina smiled and continued eating her meal all the while wondering about the Dillon's marriage and why John would be so closely involved.

John walked Regina back to her office. As they entered the front room she turned to him, "I had a wonderful time today John."

John smiled, "so did I."

She walked over to her desk and locked her bag in the drawer and walked back to where John was standing. "I have really enjoyed seeing you over the past few months. It has brought back such wonderful memories." She placed her hands against John's chest. "Now I think we have gotten pretty good at having lunch so I think it's about time we graduated to dinner. My place, next Friday night?"

John took her by the shoulders, "Reggie, I would like nothing more but the evenings aren't very good for me."

"Why is that?"

"Well," he stumbled trying to find an excuse, "I have to stop by the hospital and sometimes I get tied up and…"

"So find a substitute for one night."

"Now Reggie I really don't like to give my patients to another doctor. I think we should keep seeing each other for lunch."

"John, I'm not going to take no for an answer. I will keep asking until you say yes so you might as well accept the invite for next week."

John shook his head, "you're impossible…you know that?" He smiled, "next Friday is fine."

She smiled, "is seven thirty all right?"

"That's fine, I'll see you then." She kissed him on the cheek and walked back toward her desk. She turned to see him wave goodbye.

They both sat back in their chairs and breathe a sigh of satisfaction. "Reggie that was a marvelous dinner. I don't know the last time I enjoyed a meal as much."

"Well thank you sir that is quite a compliment." She stood and poured him a glass of his favorite bourbon as she finished off the last of the third bottle of wine. John looked up at the clock and put his drink down. "Reggie it has been a most enjoyable evening but I have to leave."

"John, I didn't even serve desert yet."

He stood, "maybe I'll stop by tomorrow afternoon and we can have it then. I really don't think I'd be able to have desert after that very filling meal."

She stood and took his arm as they walked to the door. "I wish you really didn't have to go John."

"I do too but duty calls."

She ran her hands up the front of his chest and snaked her fingers around his neck. Their lips were close as they stared into each other's eyes. She began to play with the bottom strands of his hair as her lips touched his. He closed his eyes as she ran her hands down his back and up inside his coat. Their kisses became more intense and they began to slowly undress each other as Regina directed him to the guest bedroom on the first floor. In the slivers of light in the darkened room he could see her naked form as he removed his last article of clothing. He walked toward her and ran his hands down her soft skin. She shivered at his touch as he led her to bed. It had been so long since he made love to a woman and by Regina's reaction he was remembering things pretty well. As he possessed her and controlled her with a soothing rhythmic stroke he was overcome with guilt as they fell exhausted into each other's arms. Regina was gently stroking his moistened skin as she nuzzled her lips into his neck softly whispering loving words but John could only hear Kitty's voice and feel her lips working their way over every inch of his body. As Regina continued down his portly build she smiled, "my, my, doctor, I thought I was a good lover but I never had a man react again so quickly before." John could only see Kitty hovering over him as he brought Regina over the edge again.

Across town Matthew was pulling at Kitty's hand. "Mommy, Uncle John is going to be here soon. I got to get ready for bed so he can read to me."

Kitty shook her head, "we have a little time yet Matthew."

"No we don't Mommy, please?"

She smiled, "you're not going to leave me alone unless I do, come on."

Matthew ran down the stairs and positioned himself on the chair in the alcove looking out onto the street. Kitty stood watching her son, book in hand, waiting for John to arrive. Matthew really enjoyed John reading to him and she suspected it gave the boy a sense of comfort that there was a man in his life who he could depend on. This was another instance where she owed John so much. Maggie came into the room and looked over at Matthew staring out into the night. She turned to Kitty, "Dr. John is a little late tonight isn't he?"

Kitty looked up at the clock and shrugged, "maybe he got caught at the hospital but in any case I'm going to have to take him upstairs in another few minutes. I'll just have to read to him."

"I don't know how he'll like that."

Kitty looked at Maggie, "thanks."

Maggie smiled, "I didn't mean it like that. I just mean he looks forward to having Dr. John read to him at night."

Kitty reached out and touched Maggie's shoulder and smiled, "I know what you meant but he does have a bedtime and I want to keep them on a schedule." She walked over to Matthew, "come on little man, time for bed."

"But it can't be Mommy, Uncle John isn't here yet."

"Matthew, your uncle is a doctor and sometimes doctors have to do things for people that they might not have planned on. So sometimes they have to take care of that first before they can read to little boys. Do you understand?"

Matthew tried hard to hide his disappointment, "will he come tomorrow Mommy?"

"I bet you he will."

He looked back out at the night hoping he might see John coming up the walk. "Come on now Matthew, you really need to go to bed."

He put his head down and climbed off the chair, "all right Mommy." He looked up at Kitty, "will you read to me Mommy?"

She tousled his hair, "you bet I will." Maggie watched as mother and son climbed the stairs hand in hand.

Kitty poured a glass of brandy and sat down on the sofa. She had just finished reading to Matthew and after checking on her other children she returned to the first floor. This was usually the time of day that she and John sat over drinks and talked about their day although he was rather tight lipped about the woman she saw him with at the restaurant recently. She went and poured another glass of brandy then sat back down. An old friend he said but not another word about her since. She wanted to ask him but there was a part of her that really didn't want to know what their relationship was. She had been enjoying his company and the children had come to depend on him so a woman in John's life now might complicate their lives even more. She looked at the drink and admonished herself for begrudging John happiness. If John had fallen in love with this woman she was going to be happy for him. Regina seemed very nice and if she made John happy he certainly deserved to be. Just because Matt decided to leave didn't mean that John was now solely responsible for her and her family. If John was happy with Regina and wanted to spend more time with her she would just have to adjust. She closed her eyes as the tears slowly ran down her face and, at that moment, she came to realize what he meant to her.


	18. Choices, Decisions, Consequences

The bright sun was peeking through the shade in the guest room. Regina had awoken first and stared down at a very naked John Chapman. She only had a few hours sleep but she felt totally invigorated by their evening of multiple cascading climaxes and words of love. She just never envisioned that John could be so enduringly passionate or as boldly imaginative as he was last night. Her body still tingled when she thought about his soft stroke, his bristled moustache, and how he felt within. She had been in love with John since they were kids although he never knew. He was so busy with medical school and his practice there was no room for her in his life so she married Dave, who was a good man, kind, loving, thoughtful, but he wasn't John. She had thought to invite John over for a thank you dinner a million times since her husband had passed on but something always held her back. As she looked at him lying in her bed, after a night of love making she had never known before, she laughed at her insecurities. John wanted her as much as she had always wanted him there was no doubt in her mind now. She leaned over and gently ran her lips down his neck as her fingers lightly ran the length of his bare skin.

John could feel the soft lips and light touch as he was beginning to wake from a very short sleep. He kept his eyes closed as he visualized Kitty lying behind him and lovingly welcoming him to a new day. He could hear the soft cries from Kitty's lips imploring him to take away her loneliness and never leave her wanting again. He could feel his arousal throbbing as she wrapped her soft thin fingers around him. Her velvety declarations of love and her smooth soft strokes made him groan in primal pleasure as he rose up and loved her again. He was embarrassed at the short length of time it took for him to be completely sated as he fell back on the mattress trying hard to catch his breath. She watched his chest ebb and flow and she smiled. When it seemed he was at rest she worked her lips down his chest to his renewed stirring. It didn't take long before her hips were keeping in rhythm with his as she cried out his name and her oratory of love. He smiled imaging Kitty so satisfied and knowing that she loved him. Regina fell back on the bed still quivering from John's gentle touch. She leaned over to kiss him and that brought him back to reality. "John Chapman I swear I'm going to have to cook you a huge breakfast to replenish all the energy you expended on us the past few hours."

John smiled politely through a dull headache, "I might need something to eat since I think I might be a little hung over."

She kissed him again as she played with wisps of hair on his chest, "if you don't need me in the bedroom any longer I'll go get busy in the kitchen."

John nodded but even that slight movement caused his head to hurt. He watched her throw on her robe over her naked body and walk toward the door. She glanced back at his naked frame and shook her head as he closed his eyes hoping his head would stop pounding. He chuckled as he thought how much his head hadn't hurt while he was thinking of the woman he loved. He then thought about Matthew and he hoped he hadn't disappointed the little boy. He had been though so much the past year but more importantly what would Kitty think? She had asked about Regina but he was very vague about the relationship. Knowing Kitty, the way he does, he fears she suspects there is more than he is saying. Kitty needs to know that there is no relationship between him and Regina and the next time the subject is discussed he will be more open about it. He stood slowly and walked into the bathroom as regret filled every step he took. He certainly didn't want to hurt Regina. She is a kind and loving woman who allowed him the privilege of making love to her but he wasn't in love with her and he was afraid she might believe that now. The smell of bacon intoxicated his nostrils as he dressed and made his way to the kitchen. Regina was separating the bacon with a fork as John entered the room. When she turned his way her robe loosely hung from her body and John could see her voluptuous breasts. She noticed his stare and smiled, "how would you like your eggs?"

"Sunnyside up…here let me help." He grabbed a pan and stood next to her at the stove.

Her eyes darted across his body, "I think I should have given you Dave's robe so you cook comfortably as well."

He took the eggs from her hands, "Reggie, I'm just fine the way I am besides I think we might have broken some kind of record for that sort of activity."

She ran her hand along his arm, "maybe we should have that documented somewhere."

"I don't know about that. I think I'd like to keep it between the two of us."

Regina turned and looked confused, "are you ashamed?"

John shook his head, "no, no, I'm not ashamed."

"Then why wouldn't you want people to know? We are adults you know."

He put the eggs on the counter and took the bacon from the flame then he took Regina by the hand and walked her to the table. He took her hands in his, "Reggie, what we did last night was lovely. I don't know if I ever felt so loved but I want to take this slow. I'm a very private person and, well, I'm not very demonstrative," he kissed her hands, "especially in public. I hope you can understand."

She smiled, "I guess I do it's just that I thought when two people love each other…"

"Then people will be able to tell just by looking at them together. I don't think there is a need for publicly open declarations of love…do you?"

She shook her head, "no, I suppose not."

"Good, now we have a breakfast to cook. I don't know about you but I'm famished." They stood and he put his arm around her waist as they walked back to the counter.

After feeding the twins Kitty walked down the steps toward the living room. Matthew was rocking on his horse but dismounted when he saw his mother and ran into her outstretched arms. "Mommy, when can my brothers play with me?"

Kitty laughed, "I think it's going to be some time yet Matthew."

"But how long?"

"Well, I'm not sure exactly, maybe in a few years."

Matthew shook his head, "can't believe we got two of them."

Kitty raised her eyebrows, "neither can I little man. Now why don't you go back and ride your bronco while I help Aunt Maggie in the kitchen, OK?"

She placed his little legs on the floor when the front door opened and in stepped John. Matthew ran to him, "Uncle John."

John smiled as he scooped the boy up in his arms. "Matthew, how's my favorite boy today?"

Matthew looked puzzled, "you didn't read to me last night Uncle John."

"I know I didn't Matthew and I am very sorry about that but I was held up and when I could come I knew you'd be asleep. Will you forgive me?"

Matthew shook his head, "Can you come and read to me tonight?"

John tousled the boy's hair, "you bet I will. A team of wild horses couldn't keep me away tonight and we have something new to read." John showed Matthew the book he had been hiding behind the boy's back.

"Mommy, look, Uncle John bought me a new book."

Kitty came closer, "and what do you say to your uncle?"

"Thank you Uncle John."

"You're most welcome Matthew," John bent over and placed Matthew on the floor. "Now Matthew I'd like to speak with your Mommy…OK?"

"OK," Matthew ran toward the kitchen and sat in the big oversized chair in the library room.

John touched Kitty's shoulder, "I'm sorry about last night Kitty."

She waved her hand, "John, I know you get busy, don't worry about it."

They walked together to the sofa, "well, I do worry about you and the children. I know how your son looks forward to me tucking him in at night and reading to him. The poor child had one man drop out of his life I don't want to be another one." Kitty looked hurt and John grabbed her hands. "Oh Kitty, that was not an indictment of Matt but of myself. I let that boy down last night and I am so very, very sorry."

She smiled, "I know John. The truth is Matt did drop out of sight but unlike you he didn't come back the next day."

"Kitty you know I would never say or do anything to hurt you so I'm glad you didn't take any offense to my foolish statement. I don't know what I would do if I lost your friendship." He stared into her eyes, "I most missed talking to you last night."

She smiled, "I missed talking to you too."

They stared into each other's eyes until John broke the silence, "well now, since everyone has accepted my mea culpa I better get back to my patients."

They stood and Kitty walked him to the door. "I'll see you later this evening then?"

He put his hand on her shoulders, "I'll be here."

"If you feel like it I can always have Maggie set an extra place at the table."

He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, "what time?"

"Say seven?"

They stared at each other for a moment and John gently touched her cheek, "see you then."

Matt was in the small barn to the back of the cabin bedding down his horse for the night. He tried to exercise the animal a little each day so the trip back to Denver would not be as taxing as the ride up there. He came into the front room and Caleb was making some coffee. "Been out ridin'?"

"Yeah, thought we both needed to get our sea legs back so to speak."

"When were ya thinkin' 'bout leavin'?"

"I first want to help you get everything that you'll need for winter. Once you do then I'll be on my way." Matt ran his fingers through his hair, "I certainly would feel better if Bart got back here before then though."

"I tolt ya 'afore, just don't know when the doctor be gettin' here."

"I know but Bart didn't seem the type to not make it back here every year."

Caleb waved his hand, "Matt I've been here fer a long time and these guys come here regular for a spell but then they get ta a city, sleep in a nice bed with a real fine woman, and they realize that spendin' a few minutes with us folks is not all that important." Caleb shot Matt an annoyed look, "now don't be lookin' at me like that Matt, it's the truth, I'm not just sayin' that so you be leavin' quicker." Caleb looked back at Matt again, "all right, ya blame fool ya can stay and help me get ready for winter but then ya be goin' whether or not that doctor friend of yourns shows up."

Matt smiled, "now was that so hard?"

Caleb took the pot from the hearth and placed it down on the table as he poured himself a cup, "don't know how that fine woman of yourns has stayed with ya all this time, ya such a blame pig headed fool." He motioned toward Matt, "ya want a cup?"

"Yes, and as I've told you before, I'm a very lucky man." Matt looked down at his cup. "well…I think I am."

"Ya thinkin' she be changin' her mind 'bout ya?"

"I don't know what I think Caleb."

"Then maybe ya should leave now."

Matt shook his head, "No, another couple of days won't matter." He took a sip of his coffee, "when do you want to go to the trading post?"

"How's day after tomorrow?"

"Sounds good."

It was the middle of September and there was still no word from the man they sent looking for Matt. Whenever John stopped by Gerard's it was getting increasingly awkward seeing Regina and having to turn down her repeated dinner invites. He would always counter with a lunch offer but he could see she wanted to progress past a quick afternoon snack. She wanted to spend time with him in the evenings but he was never going to let Matthew down again or more importantly, Kitty. He was coming down the stairs after tucking in the children and Kitty sat on the sofa two drinks on the table in front of her. She raised his glass and gave it to him as he took his place next to her. "He loved the new book you bought him Kitty."

"I don't think it's the book so much but the person who is reading it to him."

John smiled, "I'll take that compliment anytime." Kitty seemed to have something on her mind, "is there something wrong?"

She looked up at John and shook her head, "just that I thought we'd hear something about Matt by now."

John agreed, "I thought so too Kitty but I don't think I have to tell you how vast the west can be. Looking for a cabin there is probably like looking for a needle in a haystack."

"I suppose."

He took her hand in his, "I don't want you to lose hope now. I just know he will be found."

She patted his hand, "you have been so steadfast in your belief. I feel like a fool sometimes doubting that we are going to find him."

John shook his head, "I don't think for a minute you have ever given up in here." He laid his fingers over her heart. They stared at each other for a second and then John slowly took his fingers away and they sat in silence.

Kitty took a sip of her drink, "John, you are so good with the children. I know this takes up a lot of your time and…"

He took her hand again, "there is nowhere I would rather be then here. I adore your children."

"Well, be that as it may, I'm sure there are other things you could be doing."

John shook his head, "no, not really. Kitty my life has always been dedicated to healing the sick, first and foremost. That sometimes leaves very little time for anything else."

"It's just that I would hate to be keeping you from doing other things. I mean I appreciate all that you have done but I don't want to monopolize your time either."

"Kitty, what are you referring to?"

"Well, Regina for one."

John smiled, "she is an old and dear friend who I occasionally see. I probably have seen more of her lately because Gerard is helping us find Matt but that's the extent of it."

"John, it's just that I wouldn't want you to miss out on finding love because you felt saddled with my children…and me."

He rubbed his thumb over her hand, "I would feel like the most honored man in the world if I was lucky enough to be saddled with you and the children and as far as Regina is concerned it is nothing like that. We are not in love with each other I assure you."

Kitty took another sip of her drink, "maybe you're not but it's written all over her face." John looked puzzled, "before I came over to the table I watched her for a few moments. She is very much taken with you."

John waved his hand, "I don't think so Kitty. I helped her with her dying husband some years back and I think she has never forgotten my kindness."

Kitty touched his face, "please be careful John. I don't believe it's as simple as you think."

He reached up and grabbed her hand and kissed it, "I will." They held the gaze for awhile before John reached into his pocket for his watch, "I have early morning rounds tomorrow Kitty so if you will excuse me."

They both stood and headed for the door as she hugged the doctor and kissed his cheek. "Good night John and remember be careful."

He lightly touched her face, "I promise, see you tomorrow." Kitty nodded as John walked through the front door.

"Mr. Johnson now I want you to promise me you will take two of those pills once in the morning and the other just before you go to bed and come back and see me in a couple of days," John put his hand on the man's back as he led him to the waiting area in the front of the office. Regina caught his eye as he opened the door for the man and waved goodbye. She made her way over to him, "all right John, you win. I'll settle for lunch," she wrapped her hands around his arm as she smiled.

John patted her hand, "Reggie it might be awhile, I have some paperwork I need to take care of first."

"OK, then I'll come back in an hour and…"

"Or two."

She nodded, "or two. I'll even let you pick the restaurant."

John smiled as he held her arm and escorted her toward the front door, "then I'll see you in two hours." He swung open the door and Kitty, Matthew, and Katie were standing in front of him.

"Hi, Uncle John."

John bent over and scooped Matthew off the floor into his arms, "and how's my big boy today?"

"Mommy took us for a walk."

John smiled over at Kitty, "John I'm so sorry. I told Matthew you were very busy but he was insistent."

He pushed Matthew's hair out of his eyes, "don't be ridiculous Kitty, I always have time for your children."

"Uncle John, can you come to lunch with us?"

"Matthew now, your uncle is a very busy man. You've taken up too much of his time as it is."

"I would love to Matthew but I promised to take Mrs. Lawrence out to lunch today." He pointed in Regina's direction as Kitty glanced over and smiled.

Kitty rubbed Matthew's little arm, "come on little man let's leave your uncle alone so he can go to lunch with Mrs. Lawrence."

"But Mommy can't I stay just a little longer?"

"No, now, your uncle is busy."

John walked him over to where the lollipops were stored, "what color would you like?"

"Purple."

John turned back toward Katie, "and what about your sister?"

Katie walked toward John and smiled as she pointed, "Wed one."

John took both out of the jar and gave them to the children as a unison thank you filled the office. He put Matthew on the floor and looked up at Kitty, "you all right to get home?"

She smiled, "I got us here I should be fine." Kitty looked Regina's way, "nice seeing you again Regina."

Regina nodded as Kitty made her way out the front door. She looked over at John as he watched Kitty walk pass the front of his office. "So we're on in two hours then John?"

"Hmm?"

She walked over to him and put her hand up on his shoulder which broke him from his trance. "I said I'll be back in two hours so we can go to lunch."

John smiled, "so you'll come here then?"

Regina thought a minute before answering. That was the original plan but after seeing the wonderful family set up he had with Kitty she decided she needed some alone time with the doctor. "I think you should meet me at my house. We'll decide where we are going from there."

John nodded, "your house in two hours." She kissed him on the cheek and left him standing in the middle of the waiting room.

They lay side by side silently for a few minutes. John looked over at Regina, "I'm sorry Reggie but I guess this happens from time to time."

Regina remained silent as she searched for reasons why John was unable to make love to her. Before this he needed her with an intensity she had never experienced before and now he could only offer up apologies and excuses. John knew what was wrong but how could he tell Reggie that all the time he was making love to her he was with Kitty. The light of mid-day made him more aware of whom he was with and although Regina was a beautiful woman she was not Kitty. Finally after an awkward silence Regina spoke, "it's Kitty isn't it?"

"What?" John shot up as his mind raced hoping there was never a time he called her by that name.

"The reason you can't make love to me now."

He lay his head back down on the pillow as Regina lay on top of his chest. He gave her a questioning look, "what does Kitty have to do with us?"

"Well she came in today with her brood and you seemed, oh I don't know, uncomfortable? Are you afraid that somehow she wouldn't approve of what we're doing?" She worked her lips down his neck.

"Reggie that's nonsense, Kitty is not a prude."

"Then why don't you tell her about us?"

"I couldn't be that insensitive with her husband missing and all." He ran his hand down her arm, "she is a very good friend."

Regina lightly ran her fingers over his chest, "it seems to me that she has pretty much ingrained her children into your life."

He stopped her hand, "Kitty has never asked me to do or be anything in her life. It just so happens that I love those children and they have had a rough time of it."

"Seems to me John that's their father's fault not yours, what are you going to do spend the rest of your life making up for his mistake?" She removed her hand from his and cupped his face, "John, you have a life to live and a right to love and be loved. I don't want you to throw that away because of some misguided sense of obligation."

"That's where you're wrong, when I'm with the children it's because I choose to be they are far from an obligation." He removed her hand from his face. "You better know now I will do anything for those children until we find their father. If you can't accept that Reggie I don't think we should see each other anymore." John began to remove the covers to get dressed.

Regina threw her arms around his neck and ran her hands down his chest. "John I'm sorry, please come back to bed."

He grabbed her arms and kissed them, "we were just out of step today Reggie that's all."

She whispered in his ear. "Will you stay so we can get back in step?"

"There will be plenty of other days for us Reggie I just don't think this is one of them." He continued to get dressed then he turned, kissed her on the forehead, and left the room.

"You look beat John, sit and let me get you a drink." He sat down on the sofa waiting for Kitty to come back into the room. "You know if coming here every night is too much for you, I'm sure I can make some excuse to Matthew if you need to have an evening to yourself."

He took a sip of his drink as he shook his head, "no, no, this is my sanctuary from the world Kitty, coming here is one of the most relaxing things I do."

He continued his silence as he pensively sipped his drink. "Would you like to talk about it?" John just shook his head, "suit yourself but sometimes talking helps."

He looked up at her and smiled, "it's just something I'll have to work out on my own."

"Wouldn't have anything to do with Regina, would it?"

"Why would you say that?"

Kitty held his hand, "she didn't seem very pleased when we arrived unannounced today."

John nodded in agreement, "but that doesn't mean I would want you to ever stop coming to see me whenever you want."

"I appreciate that John but..."

He held up his hand to stop her from speaking, "there's no buts about it. You are welcome in my office or in my home any time of the day or night. No one will ever change that Kitty."

"But John, as much as I and the children love you here you deserve a chance at happiness." She cupped his face with her hand, "I don't know what I would have done the past year without you but remember John, Matt was the one who deserted us. If he can't live up to his vow why should you assume the responsibility?"

He gently pushed a strand of hair off her face, "because I want to." He took her hands in his and kissed them. "Kitty I'm not in love with Regina."

"How do you know, it doesn't seem like you've given it much time."

"Kitty, I've known Regina for almost my whole life and I've always valued her as a good friend but I'm not in love with her nor can I see being in love with her in the future and that has nothing to do with my being here every night."

She leaned over and kissed his cheek, "is there anything I can do?"

He shook his head, "I have to work this out myself." He looked at the clock, "it's getting late Kitty I should be going."

She grabbed his arm, "if you want to stay longer and talk I'm all ears."

"Thank you but I have a few patients I have to see early in the morning so I'll see you tomorrow night." They stood and she wrapped her arm around his as they walked to the door.

Kitty grabbed him in a hug, "remember if you need to talk I'm here."

John stared into her eyes and knew if he didn't leave now he might do something he would later regret. "Good night Kitty."

"Good night John." She watched him as he walked down the path. John turned and waved then continued on his way home.

John poured a generous amount of bourbon into the tumbler and sat down in the old oversized chair in front of the fire. He put his feet on the ottoman as he slowly sipped his drink with the soft glow of the flames his only light. Like always his thoughts turned to Kitty and then a wave of loneliness washed over him. What he wouldn't give to have one night wrapped in her arms demonstrating all the love he holds so deep inside but, as always, that thought only depresses him more when he realizes that day will never come. He is pretty certain that if Matt doesn't return Kitty will shut down emotionally so he will have to be satisfied with remaining her very good friend. Before he went to Dodge he didn't dwell on having someone in his life, he found healing the sick reward enough, but then he met Kitty and his life was never the same. He thought about her every day after he left and was more than thrilled at the prospect of her moving to New Orleans even though she was having another man's baby. He couldn't imagine being with anyone else now or in the future if it wasn't Kitty so he would have to be satisfied going there every night and taking a cold shower on his return home. As he chuckled at the thought he heard a knock on the door. His heart jumped as he quickly got out of the chair and made his way into the hallway. The possibility that it could be Kitty was slim but his hopes were high as he swung open the door. "Reggie?" He hoped his face didn't display his disappointment.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure…please." He took her elbow and ushered her through the door. "Can I get you something?"

She shook her head, "whatever you're having."

He directed her to the sofa and then went to pour her a drink, "here you go." He sat next to her, "now what brings you out this time of the night?"

"It's been bothering me all day and I knew if I didn't come over and speak with you I wouldn't be able to fall asleep."

"What's that?"

"I didn't like how we left off today and I'm here to apologize."

John waved his hand, "no need for that."

She held his hand, "well, I have a need." She looked down, "I really hadn't thought much about finding love again since Dave died. I enjoy going out with friends and valuing my independence but then you walked in the door that day and," she shook her head, "I don't know I guess I started thinking about having a man in my life again. Then when we finally made love you were the most attentive, loving, generous lover I had ever known and I wanted you more then anyone else in my life." She looked back up at John, "and I thought you wanted me too."

"Reggie,"

She put her fingers over his lips, "please let me finish. I just want you to know that I do love you and you are a very important part of my life. I know you have these other responsibilities right now and I also understand that they are very important to you too…now…but I just want you to know that if one day you want a good woman to call your own I would be honored."

John stared not knowing what to say. After a few moments he cleared his throat, "Reggie, I think you know that I have dedicated my life to healing the sick. It doesn't leave me much time for a relationship and it wouldn't be fair to you if I couldn't give you all of my attention."

"John I do understand. You don't have time for love right now you just have time to raise another man's children."

"Reggie, that's not fair."

"Isn't it? Those children are your number one priority now, the sick take a back seat."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Maybe I don't but," Regina paused a second, "maybe it's not the children you go to see, maybe Kitty is the real reason you are so interested in spending time with them."

John stood and began to pace the floor, "don't be ridiculous!"

She quickly stood and grabbed him by the shoulders to get him to stop moving, "That's it…isn't it? It's Kitty you're in love with. Tell me John what are you going to do when her husband comes back? It seems to me you're going to be the odd man out." She waited for a response but none came, "I feel sorry for you, your life is going to be very lonely when that man returns." Regina turned to walk away when John pulled her to him. He stared into her eyes as the soft glow of the fire flickered off her face. She leaned up and put her hands around his neck as his lips crashed down on hers. They tore away at each other's clothing with only the dying embers for warmth. As the flames continued to fade he physically satisfied one woman while he made unabated love to the woman across town that truly had his heart.

Matt was re-checking his bag as Caleb prepared dinner. Although Caleb had been after Matt for months to return home the fact that Matt would be leaving tomorrow created a sense of sadness in the old man. He would no longer have anyone there to share life with. "Seems ya been checkin' that there bag fer hours now."

Matt smiled, "don't want to forget anything."

"Don't think I'd return it to ya, do ya?"

"Wouldn't want to put you through all that trouble." Matt was still wearing a silly grin.

Caleb looked down, "Tain't no trouble. Meal's almost ready."

Matt grabbed a couple of plates and set them down on the table. He had helped Caleb stock up for the winter and now the day had finally come for him to go home. He still wished that Bart had stopped by but Caleb had been doing surprisingly well lately so he was more at peace with his decision. He looked around the cabin and thought how fortunate he was that this was not the life he had chosen. He was like a kid on Christmas Eve beaming with excitement but instead of gifts under the tree he knew that in a week's time he would be home making love to the most amazing woman in the world for the rest of his life. They sat to eat as Caleb proposed a toast, "ta my good friend Matt Dillon. May his wife not throw him out of the house when he returns." Caleb smiled.

As Matt's glass reached Caleb's, "she'd have every reason to."

"Matt, I'm just funnin' ya. There's no way that woman is gonna' do that. Naw, I think when she hears from ya she'll have somethin' right nice planned."

"Hope so old friend," Matt threw down the drink.

Caleb paused as he eyed Matt, "and I have ta thank ya also Matt. I knowd ya gave up a lot to stay here with me and I want ya ta know that I will always be grateful fer everythin' ya done."

Matt shook his head, "as I told you before Caleb you would have done the same for me. I just wish that Bart would stop by before I leave."

"Now don't go talkin' 'bout that again. You'll start talkin' yerself into stayin'."

Matt laughed, "not this time my friend, I guarantee you that."

Caleb looked down and took another forkful of food. He never thought he'd see the day Matt Dillon would be married with a couple of kids. Everything about that man was badge through and through. Sure he figured he had a nice soft creature to hold close and take care of his needs but he always envisioned one day Matt would make his home nearby and finally live the life they had discussed so many times before. "Gotta' ask ya somethin' Matt."

"What's that?"

"Since ya came here to get away, do ya really think ya can go back to the city and live?"

Matt finished chewing before he replied, "the city did start to close in on me I will admit. I think you know that I never felt comfortable around city dudes but I learned a very valuable lesson living here. Life is not worth living if Kitty isn't there to share it with me. I think you know that at one point in my life I felt this was the only place I belonged but I fell in love with Kitty and I knew I could never be alone again."

Caleb nodded in agreement, "a woman can do that ta ya sure enuff."

Matt took a drink of coffee, "especially my wife." Matt shook his head, "I can hardly wait to see her again." Caleb fell silent, "everything all right Caleb?"

He waved his hand, "yeah, sure Matt." He poured more coffee, "I might not have been showin' it much but I was enjoyin' yer company while ya were here." He looked up at Matt, "I know I'll pretty much miss all ya complainin' and yer worryin'.

Matt put his hand on Caleb's arm, "maybe in another year I can..."

Caleb raised his hand, "stop right there Matt. Do ya think ya wife is gonna' let you come back up here again? Naw, ya just get on yer horse and be with that pretty lil' filly and don't ya be worryin' 'bout me."

"You always were one for cutting to the heart of things Caleb."

After sharing a few drinks in relative silence Matt rose to clean off the table, "Matt now I'll take care of everythin'. Ya just get to sleep; ya got a early day tomorrow and probably a long one." Matt smiled, "sides ya can get to dreamin' a lot sooner this way." He winked at Matt. "night Matt."

"Good night Caleb."

It didn't take Matt long to fall asleep and dream about being home. He could picture Kitty running into his arms as soon as he opened the front door and sweeping Matthew and Katie up into his arms as their squeals of Daddy filled the room. Above all he had plenty of time to plan the most seductive night that Kitty had ever experienced and he could hardly wait to fulfill his long thought out intention. He could hear someone calling him and it took him awhile to realize that Caleb was having trouble breathing. He jumped up and ran to his cot, "Caleb what do you need me to do?"

He took a deep breath, "now stop fussin' over me," another deep breath, "I'll be fine."

Matt got some water and helped him drink. Eventually the coughing subsided and his breathing became a little more even. "go back to bed now Matt. I'm fine."

Matt nodded, "you sure?"

Caleb shook his head and waved his hand in dismissal. Matt went back to his cot but Caleb's breathing was still a bit labored which worried him. He started to drift back to sleep when Caleb had another attack. Matt ran to Caleb and he grabbed Matt's long john shirt, "Could ya stay here Matt I don't want ta be alone."

"Caleb don't worry, I'll see you through this." He was finally able to settle him down enough so he could fall into a restless sleep. Matt stayed awake to stand watch over him as the thought that he would not be going home today crept into his mind and made him miserable. "_Damn!_"


	19. Life Goes On

It was one month to the day of his first attack that Caleb passed. Daylight was fading as Matt quickly dug the grave in the rear of the house and buried his old friend. He said a few words about friendship, loyalty, and days gone by and then finished hammering in the cross on top of the grave. He decided to take Caleb's horse back with him so he pulled the rest of the hay into the structure and gave the horses an extra helping. "You're going to need this because tomorrow we head home, old boys." He rubbed his horse's head as the animal nodded in agreement. He closed the door, grabbed the shovel, and headed into the cabin. He made a pot of coffee and a small stew and eagerly looked forward to the morning. It was the end of October and his mind was consumed with thoughts of being home with his family for the holidays. He just hoped he was still wanted.

It was Halloween at the Dillon household and as with all holidays the house was brilliantly decorated. John came through the front door as Kitty was coming down the stairs. "Well, doctor, I don't know if I can give you any candy without a proper costume."

John smiled as he kissed her on the cheek, "I guess I'll have to settle for a nice dinner then."

They walked arm in arm into the living room as John went to pour them a drink and Kitty sat on the sofa. John returned and handed her the glass, "here you go." He sat down next to her, "I saw Maggie with your two oldest children. They looked so cute."

She raised her hands in resignation, "Matthew just had to be a cowboy… must be in the boy's genes."

He smiled, "Katie looked adorable as a little princess."

Kitty nodded, "even at this age she loves to get dressed up."

He took a sip of his drink and stared not knowing how to proceed, "Kitty, I heard from Gerard today."

"Oh?"

"The man that went to find Matt got to Fort Collins yesterday. He was afraid to go any further north thinking it was too close to winter. So far he hasn't found any sign of Matt." Kitty looked down, "now that doesn't mean we just give up. It has to be a good sign that so far he hasn't found a body or a newly dug grave anywhere…wouldn't you think?" Kitty remained silent as John raised her head with his finger tips, "we're getting that much closer Kitty, I know it."

She smiled weakly, "so when will the search begin again…April…May?"

John shrugged, "I suppose."

"Hmm…let's see…that's another six or seven months away." She shook her head, "oh, what's the use. If Matt isn't dead he probably will be by then." She started to cry, "I'm never going to see him again John."

John reached out and held her close as he stroked her hair, "it's all right now. Everything is going to be all right." She continued to sob uncontrollably in his arms, "we're not giving up Kitty…we're never going to give up."

She looked up at him through watery eyes, "thank you John for being here through all this, you have been so good to me."

John smiled, "I only want you to be happy and I will do everything in my power to find Matt and bring him back home to you."

She smiled as the tears flowed from her eyes. She raised her hand and gently stroked his face, "you're a good man John and you deserve to be happy too." She leaned up slightly toward his lips and held him in a kiss. He desperately wanted more, wanted her more than he ever wanted another woman in his life, but he knew now was not the time. He slowly pulled away and smiled, "are you OK now?"

She stared into his eyes and he swore there was something different in the way she looked at him. After a few moments she shook her head, "I think I'm better now."

He leaned over and handed her the glass "here, have a sip."

Kitty took a drink then she turned to John, "your arms were much more secure."

"Well, that's nice to hear and I'm very glad you think so but," he moved a couple of strands of hair back in place, "right now I think you need to freshen up. Your children will be coming home in a little while and I don't think you want them to see you upset."

She smiled, "no I don't." She stood, "can you freshen my drink John while I fix my face?" He watched her walk up the stairs and resisted the urge to follow her.

It was shortly before dawn as Matt dressed in the cold cabin. As he threw in a few supplies to his already bulging bag he wondered if this was how men felt when they were being released from prison. He knew that the long ride back to Denver would take a toll on his body but he imagined it wouldn't take much to convince Kitty to massage every aching muscle; at least he hoped it wouldn't take much convincing. He tried to put that thought out of his mind as he walked to the back door. He took a deep breath and smiled as he swung the door open to a swirling wind and six foot snow drifts. He walked back into the cabin and looked out the half snow covered windows, then on to the front door to much the same. After he closed the door he flung his bag clear across the room and cursed at the timing of the storm. He grabbed a couple of cords of wood and started a fire then sat at the table and put his head in his hands.

It was two weeks before Thanksgiving and John sat in his office going over patient charts. He was trying desperately to concentrate but the more he tried the harder it became. Regina had resigned herself to accepting his lunch invitations but she would arrive late at his house for their evening of love. He hated how he used her and try as he might he couldn't convince her that she deserved better than what he was willing to give. He knew she was right that when Matt returned he would no longer figure in the family moments that had brightened his otherwise lonely life. He had come to love the children and he was pretty sure they loved him and he would be more than happy if he had to accept the responsibility of raising them as his own. For the past couple of weeks, he felt a different kind of closeness to Kitty and he was looking forward to the holidays to see if that was all in his imagination. He closed the charts and walked to his office window. He smiled when he thought of Kitty and decided that he would surprise them for lunch. He removed his doctor's coat and put on his jacket. He opened his office door and ran straight into Regina. "Well, it looks like I timed this perfectly." She gently pushed him back into his office and closed the door. She interlocked her fingers behind his neck and drew him into a passionate kiss.

He withdrew and took her arms from around his neck. "Reggie, this is my office."

"I know and the thought is getting me very excited, shall we close the blinds?"

"No…because we are not going to do anything."

"Oh, yes, I remember. You cease to be passionate in the daylight."

He took a deep breath, "Reggie…please!"

"OK then, how about lunch?"

"Well, I was just on my way out and,"

"All right doctor, my real reason for this visit was to ask you to come to my home for Thanksgiving."

He took her by the shoulders, "Reggie, I'm sorry but I have plans."

She looked annoyed, "Kitty and the kids?" He nodded, "then why don't you take me with you?"

He walked over to the window, "Reggie I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why, would that displease Kitty?"

He turned back to look at her, "No, it would displease you." He walked toward her, "Reggie when I'm there my time is consumed by Matthew and Katie and I wouldn't have much time to spend with you and I know that would bother you."

She nodded, "You're probably right. I'll just wait until you come home…then we'll have our own celebration." She ran her hands up and down his chest.

John shook his head, "I might be very late Reggie."

Her hands continued moving below his waist, "it will make the celebration all that more worthwhile."

He grabbed her hands, "Reggie, I'm not being fair to you, can't you see that?"

He released her hands as she ran her fingers down his cheek, "John, we are very good together and I know that one day I will be the only woman in your life once Kitty is out of the picture. So…as long as it takes I can wait." She leaned up and kissed him. "See you tonight my love." John watched as she left his office and he leaned back to sit on his desk. He ran his hands over his face as he thought about what Regina had said and it worried him.

The house was abuzz with holiday cheer this Thanksgiving and Kitty felt so blessed that she had her children and friends around her for the holidays. It was especially this time of year that she missed Matt terribly but with any luck he would be back celebrating with them again next year. John excused himself to read to Matthew and Katie as Festus and Sam returned to their apartment. Maggie helped Kitty feed her two youngest then Maggie went to relax in her room and Kitty went back downstairs to spend some time with John. She had watched him during the day and she sensed he had something on his mind. She was hoping some time alone with her, and his favorite brandy, would get him to talk about what was troubling him. She heard him making his way down the stairs. He smiled as he entered the living room. "Well the children are all tucked in."

"And the twins are fed," she patted the seat next to her as she offered him a drink.

He let out with a long breath as he sat, "it was an unbelievable dinner Kitty, thank you."

"Well, I have to admit it was really Maggie…although I did assist." He sipped his drink as he stared straight ahead, "John is there something wrong? You seemed to be a little preoccupied today."

"Nothing for you to worry about," he patted her hand.

She held his hand, "I do worry about you John. You are a very special person in my life, I hope you know that."

He smiled, "I'm glad I am but this is something I'm going to have to work out on my own."

She studied his face and thought a moment, "why do I have a feeling it has something to do with Regina?"

He took her hand and kissed it, "because you are the most perceptive person I know but I'm just going to have to figure a way out of this."

"Out of what?"

He looked at her and shook his head, "you were right you know."

She smiled, "I usually am but what was it this time?"

He chuckled and then turned serious, "Regina…she's in love with me."

"Oh? She told you that?"

John blushed, "many times when we..."

Kitty quickly interrupted, "and you're not in love with her."

He shook his head, "I started something with her that she mistakes as love." He looked down.

Kitty looked away, "oh, I see."

When he saw the disapproval on her face he wished he could take back what he had just said. He took her hands. "Kitty, look at me." Kitty slowly turned, "she invited me to dinner one night and we both had much too much to drink and one thing led to another and…"

"John, you don't owe me any explanations."

"Well, I feel I do." He shook his head as he began to pace the floor. "I really don't know how I am going to get out of this. I'm an obsession of hers, she needs me constantly." He ran his hands over his face, "I dread going home because I know she'll come by tonight and…stay till morning." Kitty was very quiet and John hoped he hadn't hurt her. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"I guess I didn't realize it was quite that serious."

He sat back down and held her hands, "it isn't Kitty, not for me. I have tried every way I know of to tell her I don't love her but…" John put his head down, "I guess being with her at night tells her a different story."

"Then why are you with her John?"

John stood and began to pace again as he raised his hands in a show of frustration. "I don't know…loneliness I guess."

Kitty stood and made her way over and pulled him into a big hug. "Would it help if you stayed here for the night?"

He shook his head, "Kitty this is my problem. I refuse to involve you in it."

She chuckled, "I think I am involved already." He looked perplexed as she cupped his face with her hands, "John, you have been here every day since Matt left and I've relied on you for everything which probably wasn't the right thing to do." She placed her hands on his chest, "I do enjoy your company and having you in my life and heaven knows the children love you but if you need some time to yourself I think…"

John took her hand and kissed her palm, "Kitty I don't want time to myself and if I didn't want you to rely on me I wouldn't be here. I don't view coming here as an obligation or some chore I must do before I go home at night. I love coming here and I love putting the children to bed but most of all I love ending the evening talking to you." He ran his fingers down her face, "no, I don't want time to myself but I do appreciate you giving me that option."

They stared into each other's eyes and their lips met. He pulled her closer as they held the kiss then John suddenly withdrew, "I think I better be getting home."

"Are you sure John? I mean if you think Regina is waiting for you wouldn't it be better not to go home?"

He shook his head, "She probably only come looking for me."

Kitty dismissed that idea with a wave of her hand, "she can't be that bad."

He took her by the shoulders, "Kitty, I'm not sure what she is capable of doing so it's probably best she not find me here." He kissed her on the cheek, "I'll see you tomorrow."

She grabbed his arm, "John, please be careful."

He smiled as he ran his finger down her face, "I will."

John arrived home and quickly started a fire. He poured a generous tumbler of bourbon and sat in his old overstuffed chair swinging his legs up on the ottoman. He took a few sips of his drink as he watched the flames accelerate into a roaring fire while his mind wandered to Kitty in his arms and her warm sensuous lips pressed fully against his. He shook his head in disbelief that he pulled away from such a magical moment. There had never been a woman in his life that made him feel the way she does, not even Jane. He is more than aware of her love for Matt but recently she seems to be more receptive to his touch. He slowly sipped his drink and thought about the future and how it would be if Matt never came home. There is no doubt in his mind that at some point he would propose and with any luck she would accept. He smiled when he envisioned their honeymoon night. She always makes him feel so good whenever she is around and the thought of being with her for the rest of his life would be a dream come true. His eyes began to flutter as the warmth of the fire and the smoothness of the bourbon began to take their affect.

Her smooth skin was beyond anything he had experienced before. Her soft moans spurred on his movements as he told her in many different ways how much he loved and treasured her. He had worried that he wouldn't measure up to her other lover but she assured him that in some ways he was so much more giving. He could never get enough of her and her soft touch drove him insane. Even though he had seen her body clinically many times before, making love to her now was a new experience. He cherished it when she whispered softly that she loved him and would love him until the day she died as they lay in each other's arms stroking their moist bodies and sweat dampened hair. As they lay as one a gentle knocking on a door disrupted their loving moment. John slowly opened his eyes as the knocking became increasingly louder. He pulled himself out of the chair and walked to the front door. Groggily he opened it, "Dr. John, I'm sorry to bother you at this time of night but there's a woman down at the hospital that was brought in unconscious and one of the nurses said you knew her. They thought you should know."

He thought of Kitty as he brushed the sleep from his eyes. "Thanks Ed, I'll be right down." He closed the door and put on his coat as he frantically raced to the hospital. He ran down the corridor to the emergency room and someone directed him to the third curtain. He pulled back the cloth and his worried look turned to relief as Regina lie before him. He looked up at the attending physician. "What happened?"

"We're not really sure but my best guess is a mixture of pills and alcohol."

"Who found her?"

"She was supposed to have dinner with some friends and when she didn't show they went to her home and they found her on the floor."

"I'll sit with her Richard."

"OK John. Let me know if you need anything else." He looked down at the woman lying in the bed and he wished with all his heart he could feel something…anything. She had loved him with all her being and he felt nothing. All he could think of was how thankful he was that it wasn't Kitty. He wasn't sure what he was going to say when she woke and the fact that he was here would again give her the impression that he cared as much about her as she did him. He stood to get some coffee when he heard a soft voice calling his name. "John?" She smiled, "I knew you'd come."

He sat back down and patted her hand, "Reggie, what happened?"

She shook her head, "I ruined everything tonight, didn't I?"

"What do you mean?"

"We were supposed to celebrate Thanksgiving together." She looked down at his hand as she rubbed it, "I had the whole night planned, you weren't going to be disappointed."

He patted her hand again and smiled, "you never disappoint me Reggie. You just rest now, we'll talk later."

"John?"

"Hmm?"

Sleep was beginning to take her again as her voice trailed off, "I'm so happy you are here. I love you John." As she closed her eyes John took a deep breath and ran his hands over his face. If Regina's condition was self induced this was going to further complicate matters.

Matt was sitting by the fire eating a can of beans feeling miserable. It seemed like the snow hadn't stopped falling since he first tried to make his way home. His only diversion was to dig a pathway between the house and the barn so he could feed the horses. A ritual he needed to repeat every day with the continual accumulation of snow. It depressed him to think that even if the snow stopped it would remain cold enough to keep the roads impassable for the foreseeable future. He knew he would have to stay for another few months and that thought sent a chill through his body. He wrapped the blankets around him as the wind continued to howl and the snow battered the cabin.

John was sitting in the hallway when Gerard sat down next to him on the bench. John looked over at his friend, "I'm glad someone got in touch with you."

"John, what happened?"

"We really don't know yet but the attending physician believes it's a combination of pills and alcohol."

Gerard shook his head, "do they think she was trying to kill herself?"

"No one has come to any conclusions yet Gerard. I intend to speak with Regina when she is up to it."

"It doesn't make sense. She seemed to be very happy these past couple of months." He turned to look at John, "she mentioned something about you."

John agreed. "Well, we've been having lunch on and off for the past couple of months."

"John, I've known a lot of women in my life and believe me they would not be that happy because they were having an on again off again lunch with a gentlemen. No, there must be someone else involved."

John's head hung low and his voice was just above a whisper, "no, Gerard, we had more than lunch."

"Then why aren't you as happy?" John didn't respond as Gerard thought a moment. "Kitty, isn't it?"

John looked up, "she has nothing to do with this Gerard."

Gerard smiled, "oh, quite the contrary my friend. You would probably be as happy as my assistant right now if your mind wasn't taken up with dreams of Kitty." He put his hand on John's shoulder, "the longer it takes to find her husband the closer I think you are going to get to her and then one day…"

"Gerard I have tried to explain all this to Regina. She just thinks that what I feel for Kitty is some sort of infatuation and that when Matt returns it will end. She really believes that I love her that Kitty is just a phase I'm going through now. That one day we will be together for the rest of our lives once Kitty is otherwise occupied. I can't make her understand that I don't love her enough to spend the rest of my life with her."

"Have you been intimate with her?"

John ran his hands over his face before answering, "yes."

"Just once?"

"What difference does that make?"

"A world of difference my friend." He patted John's back, "twice then?"

John threw his hands up in resignation, "she came over pretty much every night after I returned from Kitty's."

"Sounds like you were acting very much like the husband to me. Why would you do such a thing to her if you didn't love her?"

He shook his head, "I have no explanation."

"You say after you returned from Kitty's? Did Kitty bring you so far that you needed poor Regina to release you?"

"I will not have you talk about Kitty like that Gerard. She does not deserve your debased insinuations."

"And I will not let you dishonor a woman who has been my assistant and my friend for twenty years. She doesn't deserve to have you use her so you can live out a sick fantasy about a woman who will never be yours whether her husband returns or not. Face it John she needs you to help with that ever expanding family of hers and that's it. You're a fool if you think she will ever invite you to her bed." John didn't answer he just kept his eyes on the floor. "I'm sorry to have to speak like that to you old friend but you need to see what you've done to a wonderful woman."

John just shook his head in agreement, "I tried so hard not to hurt her but she would come every night and…I guess in the heat of passion one never thinks about the consequences."

Gerard placed his hand back on John's shoulder, "I think it best if you didn't see her any more. I'll be here to take her home and care for her." John agreed and stood to leave, "oh, and John, I'll have Matt's case transferred to a colleague of mine, Ben Walters. Don't worry, Ben is a good man and he'll have my contacts to work with. I don't think coming to my office would be a good idea."

"Thanks Gerard." He turned back to Gerard for a moment, "I never wanted anything like this to happen to Regina, I never set out to hurt her. I hope you believe me."

Gerard shook his head, "John I've known you a long time and I know the kind of man you are." He smiled, "I guess it was just a case of two lonely people who needed love." Gerard took a deep breath as he watched a stooped shouldered doctor walk down the hall to go home.

It was two weeks before Christmas and Maggie and Kitty were finishing up the decorations in the dining room. They heard the front door open and Kitty turned to Maggie "must be John." She gave her the small wreath she was holding as she made her way to the front door. Maggie had begun to notice a difference in Kitty the past couple of months. She looked forward to the time when John would arrive even more than her children did. For years she always suspected that John had strong feelings for Kitty and she admired him for being respectful enough to put those feelings aside and just be a good friend. Now with Matt missing for over a year, and a slowly dwindling prospect of ever finding him, Maggie was happy that John and Kitty were finding some time to explore the possibility of a future relationship. Kitty saw a smiling John standing in the hallway as she approached him, "well, you're early tonight." She grabbed his head with her hands and gave him a lingering kiss. She heard a throat clearing to her right, "I hope there is some of that left over for me!"

Kitty squealed, "Doc!" She grabbed him in a hug and gave him a big kiss as Maggie ran into the hall.

He saw Maggie over Kitty's shoulder and excused himself, "Don't take this the wrong way young lady but there is someone I need to greet much more than you." He hurried to Maggie's arms and kissed her. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too Galen," she squeezed the old doctor and kissed his cheek.

John moved over to Kitty and put his arm around her waist and whispered. "Maybe we should give them some time to be alone."

Kitty smiled, "good idea besides you can help me finish decorating." They both eased their way into the next room.

Doc and Maggie sat in her room holding hands just happy to be together. "How was everything in Dodge this trip?"

"Pretty much as I described in my letters. Town is changing a little Maggie."

"How so?"

"I don't know, just can't put my finger on it." He ran his hand across his moustache. "Maybe it's just that a good number of my friends have either left town or have died." He ran his hand over her hair, "the more I go back the more I realize that my place is here with you." She smiled as she leaned over to kiss his lips. "No word on Matt?"

"No and winter is coming so they won't be looking again until spring."

Doc shook his head, "it's a shame, a damn shame." He looked back at Maggie, "but it looks like John and Kitty have gotten a little closer since I last saw them."

"I think they have too. He's been here every night to read to Matthew and Katie and then he spends some time talking to Miss Kitty. He hasn't left her side since Matt left."

"It would serve him right if John and Kitty fell in love." Doc stood furious at his friend, "he had no right to leave her to tend to two small children on her own. How can he say he loves her and do something like that?" He shook his head, "Maggie, I'm very happy that John is here, I'll tell you that much. You know, after John left Dodge he wrote me about his experience and I swear most of the letter was about Kitty. I had a hunch then that he thought very highly of her but no one could deter her from loving that overgrown public servant." Doc continued to pace deep in thought, "I never thought I'd hear myself say this but I hope one day they both find happiness together because they deserve it." He sat back down next to her, "I'm sorry Maggie I should be talking about us and all I can seem to do is rage against the stupidity of Matt Dillon."

She held his hand, "that's OK Galen. I know Miss Kitty has been like a daughter to you. It's only natural that you would want the best for her."

He put his arms around her and pulled her close, "but now I just want to hold you and talk about us."

Maggie smiled and leaned into him. She closed her eyes as Doc ran his hand up and down her arm. She had never felt so secure in her life.

They all sat around the living room watching the children open the gifts their uncles gave them. Matthew always loved the presents that Festus whittled for him most of all, although this year his choice of a gun was not one of Kitty's favorites. John looked down at her when Matthew opened the box and he could see the disapproval in her face. He held her tight and gently kissed her lips, "it'll be all right Kitty." She smiled and rubbed his chest as he smiled back and gently ran his finger down her cheek. Matthew ran through the house shooting from his imaginary horse as Doc watched his two good friends from across the room. He smiled at Maggie and then hit Festus, "why are you giving my grandson a present like that?"

"Why not Doc?"

"Cause it's not good for children to know about guns at such an early age."

"Oh shoot ya ole scudder. Matthew be at the right age now ta be a learnin' how ta shoot. Was 'bout his age when I first learnded."

"Oh…well…if was good enough for you..." Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "you know I'm a little surprised. You would think the back woods hill folk that put a gun in your hand would have seen to it that you could actually use it. Seems to me they could have given you one when you were in your mother's womb and it wouldn't have made any difference. You'd still be inadequate!"

Festus pointed his finger at Doc as the doctor tried very hard not to laugh, "listen here ya old knowd-it-all. First off I don't knowd how ya can call yerself a doctor when everyone knowds there be no way yer can have a gun in wit ya 'fore ya be born and I don't knowds what ya mean by that high faluttin' word ya just used but ifn' it means what I think it means then ya don't knowd a hill of beans 'bout no firearms weaponry like I do." Festus mumbled under his breath, "ya jealous ole scudder."

John looked at Kitty and Doc smiled at Maggie and began to chuckle, "you got me there Festus. I don't know much about firearms weaponry." He winked over at Kitty, "at least this time you're not shooting holes in the ceiling!"

"Ya knowd that be a mistake Doc." Festus flailed his arms, "Newly done tolt me there wasn't no way that it could've worked and I done believed him." He pointed at Doc again, "and that there man knowd a lot 'bout firearms weaponry."

Sam stood, "Miss Kitty I think I'm gonna' head home, I got an early day tomorrow. Thank you so much for the gift and the wonderful dinner."

Kitty stood and hugged her friend, "I don't know what I'd do without you Sam. I'll see you sometime tomorrow." He smiled as she walked him to the door.

"Hey, wait up Sam I'll walk wit ya." He smiled at Kitty, "Miss Kitty I really want ta thank ya for the gift and fer the good dinner. I'm hopin' I didn't do wrong makin' that there gun fer young Matthew there."

Kitty shook her head as she placed her hand on his cheek, "Festus evidently my son loves that best out of all the others. You picked the perfect gift for him." She shook her head and smiled, "he's his father's son I guess there's no denying that."

Festus smiled, "no ma'am I guess there ain't." She hugged and kissed him and wished both men good night.

She returned back to John's arms as Matthew ran around the corner prodding his horse to go faster. "Whoa there young man, it's time for bed."

"But mommy…just one more time around?"

Kitty took a deep breath, "put Buck up for the night and you can continue tomorrow OK?"

He looked disappointed for a second then his head sprung back up, "Uncle John will you read to me?"

John shook his head, "as soon as you put old Buck to bed I most certainly will."

Matthew dismounted and took the reins, "come on Buck you have to go to bed now."

Kitty smiled at John as he whispered, "I'll be right down." He stood and took Matthew by the hand as Kitty watched them ascend the stairs.

Doc watched her expression and once John was on the second floor he spoke, "John is very good with Matthew."

"Doc, I am so lucky to have him in my life right now."

"Just right now?"

Kitty looked puzzled, "what do you mean Doc?"

"This is none of my business honey but you seem to be a lot closer to John this year then you were last." He tugged on his ear, "I guess I'm wondering what is going to happen if they find Matt and he comes home." Doc stood and sat next to Kitty, "John is a good man and anyone can see he cares about you a great deal. Now I know he's not Matt and I don't think there will ever be a man you will love like you love Matt but I think you could do a lot worse than John."

"Have you given up on finding Matt, Doc?"

"No honey I haven't but John has stepped in and taken on the responsibility of raising Matt's children and they love him for it. He has given them the stability that every young child needs to feel secure and loved. Now we don't know when Matt will get back, it's already been over a year. What happens when it's two or four or six years or maybe never? Your children love John and he has given them everything they need. One day you may have to start thinking about a future that does not include Matt."

Kitty sighed, "I've thought about this more than you might think I have. I know John has very deep feelings for me, I would have to be blind not to see and believe me there are nights I toss and turn thinking about it. You know how much I love Matt and if he walked in that door right now there would be no one but him but as time goes on I have to be a realist. John is so good with the children and he is so good to me. Doc, he still wants to find Matt, can you imagine? He knows that will make me happy and even though Matt's return will make him miserable he is doing everything he can to find my husband. I've never known love like that before Doc. He actually would bring Matt back so I could live out the rest of my life happy while he lived his life in loneliness." She remained quiet as she stared to allow that last thought to sink in, "well, for the time being at least, I can really get to know my good friend Dr. Chapman and I'll make my decision when and if I have to."

John walked into the living room, "everyone is tucked in…" He looked at the serious faces, "something happen?"

Kitty stood and walked over to John and smiled, "no, the good doctor and I were just having a serious discussion about firearms weaponry."

They all laughed as John mentioned he was going to get them all drinks. Doc raised his hand, "no, none for me John, I think I've had enough."

"What about you Maggie?"

"Oh, Dr. John I just couldn't. As it is, I'm so sleepy I think I'm going to go to bed."

Doc took her by the arm, "then let me accompany you my dear." Maggie smiled as they walked up the stairs.

John turned to Kitty, "don't tell me you're going to bed too?"

She shook her head, "no, not me. I'd love to spend more time with you John."

He pulled her to him, "Now that's the pioneer spirit, what would you like…your usual?" She nodded her approval, "brandy it is my lady. Please have a seat and I will bring it to you in a second."

She sat down and smiled as he approached. Their glasses touched as they wished each other a very Merry Christmas. He pulled from his pocket a piece of mistletoe and hung it over Kitty's head. She smiled as she gently kissed his lips but when she pulled him closer and responded longer to his embrace John released her. "What's wrong John?"

He smiled, "nothing Kitty."

"Why did you pull away from me?"

He stood and paced, "because I'm supposed to be finding your husband and I shouldn't be doing that to his wife. The mistletoe was a stupid idea."

She stood and walked over to him and held his face with her hands, "John, I didn't think it was. Come on back and sit down and finish your drink."

He ran his hands up and down her arms, "I don't know if I can just sit and finish my drink without wanting to hold you. Maybe I should just go home."

She took his hand and led him to the sofa, "nonsense." He sat in the corner of the chair and she leaned in to him as he wrapped his arms around her. They sat quietly, she stroking his chest and he playing with her hair.

The days passed without significance in the cabin. It seemed to snow every day although that most likely wasn't true. If he wasn't making a path to the barn to feed the horses he was playing game after game of solitaire to pass the time. As always, his thoughts were with his family and the billfold carrying their pictures now held a prominent place on the table to keep the loneliness at bay. He sat by the fire and made a solemn vow that when he finally made it home he would be the husband and father that Kitty, Matthew, and Katie deserved. He ran his hands over his face and took a deep breath wondering how he could be so stupid. He had everything a man could want in life and he walked away. He took the billfold off the table and lay on his cot staring at the pictures of his wife and children. This was his only lifeline as he ran his fingers over the parchment as if to feel their presence. He stared until the lamp flickered and died.

It was a little more difficult spending New Year's Eve at _**Russell's **_this year but Kitty was insistent that everyone should be together when the clock struck twelve. Moving the children, especially nine month olds, presented a few challenges but they were all under one roof and that was all that mattered to her. Maggie and Kitty took turns monitoring the children after John had read and tucked them in for the night. At the stroke of midnight they toasted the New Year and to the hope that Matt would be found as John looked at Kitty and smiled. Doc took Maggie home, Sam and Festus closed up, and John walked Kitty to the second floor apartment. He said his good night and turned to leave when Kitty grabbed his arm. "Where are you going John?"

"Home, of course."

"How about a nightcap?"

He smiled and shook his head, "there is no time off during the holidays for doctors Kitty, I'm afraid."

Kitty looked disappointed as she nodded her head in agreement, "I understand…well good night then John." She put the key in the door as John stood watching her enter the room.

"Kitty?"

She came back out into the hallway, "yes?"

He smiled, "maybe just one."

She smiled, "you're on." She walked over to the children and smiled. She whispered to John, "Matt used to say that they got the ability to sleep soundly from me." She moved into the living room area and poured him a drink. They both sat on the sofa and held hands, "John?"

"Hmm?"

"I sometimes wonder if Matt is still alive what he is doing now."

He rubbed his thumb over her hand, "I imagine thinking about you."

"Then why hasn't he come home?"

"I don't know Kitty but what I do know is we can't give up hope that he will be found."

She put her glass down and moved toward John. "Why do you do that?"

He shrugged, "do what?"

"Hope and believe and want so badly for Matt to come home?"

"Isn't that what you want?"

"Well, yes, of course...but why do you want it?"

He shook his head, "Kitty, I don't know what you're getting at. I thought having Matt home would make you the happiest woman in the world. As I've told you many times before your happiness is all I want. You deserve to be happy."

"What about your happiness John?" John stared not knowing what to say. "You have been with my children since the day Matt left. You have stepped in and been the father to them that Matt should have been. They have been a part of your life for over a year now but if Matt comes back that will end for you John. I refuse to believe that you would be happy about that."

John took a deep breath, "Kitty, I wish I could change the fact that they are not my children but I can't…they are Matt's. If he comes home I will miss them terribly but I guess I will immerse myself in my practice again and continue to live my life as I had before."

Kitty paused as she stared at the floor, "will you miss me?"

John wore a huge grin as he pulled her to him, "ah, Kitty girl, I will miss you most of all."

She laid her head on his chest, "stay with me tonight?"

"Kitty…now…I don't think I should."

She looked up at him, "John, I would miss you too."

He stared into her eyes and gently ran his fingers down her face, "you know I'd do anything for you."

She smiled then snuggled in close. As they both drifted off to sleep Kitty thought about what Doc had said. She could do a lot worse than John Chapman.

The winter continued to drag on and Matt was growing impatient. It was the beginning of March and according to Matt's calculations within another couple of weeks he would be on his way back to Denver. He was staring in the mirror trimming his newly grown beard when he heard a thump on the door. He grabbed his rifle and carefully opened the wooden entrance way. A bundled figure fell into the cabin exhausted and near frozen to death. He pulled the person into the cabin and threw another log on the fire. He began to undress the stranger when he bellowed, "Kitty!" She barely was able to open her eyes as he continued to undress her and wrapped her in a few blankets in front of the fire as he held her tight. He heated up the coffee and prodded her to drink. As she came to life he couldn't believe she was really there. "Honey what are you doing here?"

"Matt, I couldn't stay away much longer. I know you would have eventually come home but I needed to see you."

He wrapped his long arms around her, "Kitty, you could have died coming here. Then what would I have done?"

She touched his face, "Matt just kiss and hold me." He kissed her slowly but before long it turned passionate. "Oh Matt, I've missed you so much."

"Not as much as I've missed you." He continued to stroke her body to keep her warm. "How are the children?"

"They're getting so big Matt."

"Well, the first clearing we'll be on our way."

Kitty smiled, "that could be weeks away. What are we going to do until then?"

Matt shook his head, "I don't know Mrs. Dillon. Life in this cabin gets pretty boring you know."

"I could see how it could with just two males living here." She looked up into his smiling blue eyes, "are you ready to admit this life isn't all you thought it would be?"

Matt pulled her closer, "for the rest of my life I will never stop telling you how big a mistake I made."

Kitty reached up and touched his face, "you still haven't told me what we are going to do for the next few weeks to keep ourselves occupied."

Matt looked up at the ceiling, "well, we could play a few hands of poker, then there's checkers," he looked down at Kitty, "we could improvise a game of darts if we needed too and we could…"

Kitty ran her fingers over Matt's lips, "not exactly what I had in mind."

"Oh?"

"No, I was thinking more of this," she ran her fingers down his side and pulled at the belt of his pants. "Now, are you starting to get the idea?"

He stood and put another log on the fire and stoked it until it was a raging blaze. He arranged the blankets on the floor for optimum warmth then began to slowly remove her remaining clothes as his hand once again ran over her smooth milk white skin. He quickly undressed as her eyes never left his still muscular body. He knelt down and ravaged her with an intensity he had never known before as Kitty spurred him on keeping pace with every forceful stroke. Matt succumbed first to their rhythmic dance which surprised Kitty but she knew he would more than make that up to her. As she lay in his arms she softly stroked his body with her fingernails as his lips danced down her neck to her breasts. She could feel his arousal, "this is a marathon and not a sprint you know cowboy."

He looked into her blue eyes filled with desire and smiled, "the last one was a sprint now I hope you're ready for the marathon."

She chuckled, "OK, I guess you know what you're doing." He ran his hand down her body and playfully ran his fingers between her thighs. She tilted her head back as she let out with a satisfying moan, "oh Matt I'll never question your tactics again." Before long her sated screams pierced through the cabin walls. They drifted off to sleep, bodies entwined, as it was always meant to be.

Matt woke to find Kitty gone. He cleared the sleep from his eyes as he scrambled to get dressed. As he was buttoning his coat he noticed a letter on the table. He walked over, removed his coat, and opened the folded sheet of paper.

_My Loving Cowboy,_

_Before I continue I just want you to always remember that you are the love of my life. There is no man on earth that could ever make me feel the way you do and you more than adequately proved that again last night. When you left that morning I was devastated Matt. Although you said it would only be for a couple of weeks, for me a couple of hours were too much for me to bear. As months turned into a year it became increasingly difficult to explain to our children why their father had disappeared. You should have seen their faces Matt, especially Matthew. He is so much like you it scares me and the one thing he has missed is you reading to him at night and falling asleep in your arms. They used to ask about you every day but that had stopped long ago. I knew then that I had to do what was best for the children and for me. John has been with me since the day you left, encouraging me, not allowing me to give up hope that one day we would find you. I've had a lot of time to think since you've been away and I've weighed our long passionate life together against a life with a man who has put my happiness above his own. John loves me Matt but it never stopped him from helping me to find you so that my world, and that of our children, could go back to normal. He loves me that much, no, we have not made physical love, but I have to admit I am looking forward to the day that I can truly say I am all his. I am hoping that you will let John and I live our lives together in peace and that you will stay in the wilderness and do what you have always wanted to do. Rest assured that our children will be well taken care of. They love John so much and he loves them as well. We had a wonderful run Cowboy and I know there will be days that I will miss you terribly but I know I now have the love of a good man who has no other interest than to love me and to make me happy. Take care of yourself Cowboy, Love Always, Kitty._

Matt shot up from the cot in a cold sweat as he screamed, "Kitty, no!" The thumping of a hanging shudder rang in his ears as he looked around the room. As his breathing returned to normal he came to realize it was all just a horrible dream. He fell back on the cot and stared up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. He ran his hands over his face as if to wash away the visions from his thoughts. His mind ran wild with images of them together and although Kitty had assured him that John and she were just good friends could it be that his absence has changed that status now? Matt knew one thing for certain…no man was going to take his wife or children away from him.

It was St. Patrick's Day and the twins first birthday. Their Uncles John, Festus, and Sam and their Aunt Maggie and Pop Pop were there to help them commemorate this special occasion. Kitty entered the room with the cake and a rousing chorus of happy birthday then served all in attendance. Her sons were making the most of the sweet treat by gorging it with their hands and perusing the gooey mess. She stood watching them thoroughly enjoying themselves and very glad Maggie had decided to make an angel food cake when John snuck up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Look at them Kitty, they are having the time of their lives."

"It wasn't that long ago that we celebrated Matthew's first birthday." She pointed at her oldest son, "now look at him…rounding up the bad guys."

"He does love the gun that Festus made for him."

She looked back at him and smiled as she held his arms in place, "I still can't believe both of them came out of my body."

John held her tighter, "well they did…and I can attest to that."

She turned to kiss him as Doc and Maggie gave each other a look. Doc leaned over and whispered, "Maggie, I don't know what will happen when Matt gets home if those two get any closer."

The house was still after the evening's festivities and Kitty fell back on the sofa exhausted. John brought the drinks and Kitty could barely sit forward to take the glass. "I'm sorry John I just don't seem to have an ounce of energy left."

He sat down and smiled as he placed his drink on the table, "here, give me your feet."

She leaned back on the arm of the chair and lifted her feet into John's lap. He removed her shoes and began to massage them. She threw her head back thoroughly enjoying his tender touch as the tension melted away. She softly sighed, "John that feels so good. You have wonderful hands."

"I know, they teach all that in medical school." Kitty opened her eyes with a disbelieving look. John smiled, "had you going there for a moment, didn't I?"

"Oh you!" She kicked him lightly as he laughed.

Kitty stood in her bedroom arms folded looking out the French doors alone with her thoughts. This would have been their fifth anniversary and she would give anything to have Matt standing there with her now. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and tried to make sense of this. She refused to believe that Matt found a small cabin in the middle of nowhere preferable to lying in her arms every night and having a guiding hand in raising their children but at this point she couldn't be sure. He would be gone two years in June and although she wanted to remain positive she was finding it increasingly difficult to believe she would ever see him again. She was in a trance when John came up behind her and startled her with his touch. "I'm sorry Kitty, I should have knocked first."

She waved her hand, "no need to knock I guess I was just lost in my thoughts." Kitty pointed to the rockers on the patio, "it's too nice to sit inside…shall we?"

They sat rocking for awhile before John spoke, "I went to see Ben Walters today." Kitty remained silent as she continued to stare straight ahead. "It seems they had a pretty severe winter this year and the man in Fort Collins can't see moving north until at least mid-May." John waited for a reply but none came. "Ben will keep me informed." He watched Kitty's stoic expression that hadn't changed since he first walked in the room. He reached out and grabbed her hand, "Kitty, are you all right?"

She slowly turned her head toward him and smiled, "we use to sit out here all the time, hold hands, talk, and then he was gone and I just couldn't bring myself to sit out here any more…until today." John rubbed his thumb over the top of her hand as she turned away and whispered, "it's our anniversary today." She turned back to face him, "I can't believe this is the second one he missed." She sighed, "John, he's never coming home. I have to move on with my life."

"Kitty, I think we should give it a little more time."

She turned toward him, "how much more time John? Is it fair that Matt put me and the children in limbo like this?"

"No but,"

"John, I've had a lot of time to think and I realize now that he should not have left us at all. I don't care what the reason was, he thought only of himself."

He kissed her hand, "I know you're frustrated by the lack of progress and I know you are very hurt by Matt's actions but I refuse to believe you don't want to know what happened to him. Even if they find him dead I think you would want to know.

She held his gaze before she spoke, "I'm a very lucky woman to have you in my life John."

He smiled, "so…we keep the search going?"

She nodded and smiled, "thank you."

It was the beginning of June and the only news from Denver was that their man had left Fort Collins and was heading north. Matthew's fifth birthday was rapidly approaching and Kitty had high hopes that Matt would be home to help him celebrate. She walked into Katie's room to help her dress but her daughter was lying in bed looking very sad. Kitty sat next to her, "what's wrong sweetheart?" Before the child could respond Kitty had her answer as she ran her hand over the child's face. "You seem a little warm to me Katie. How are you feeling?"

"I don't feel good Mommy." Kitty put another blanket over her daughter and headed down to the kitchen to make some broth.

"Good morning Miss Kitty. What would you like for breakfast this morning?"

"A well child."

"Huh?"

"Katie feels a little warm to me. I thought I'd make her some broth and then when John gets here I'll let him take a look at her."

Kitty was feeding her little girl when John came into the room. "What's going on here? Maggie told me she's not feeling well?"

"She feels a little warm to me John and she sounds congested."

"Well, now, let me take a look." John opened his bag and examined the child. "Well, she's congested all right. Why don't we start her on a regiment of hot water with lemon and honey and then we'll go from there."

Kitty smiled, "it's nice to have a doctor in the family."

John took her arm, "maybe we should hold off on extolling my healing powers until Katie is running around again."

Kitty wrapped her arms around his, "healing powers or not I'm still glad you're here." John smiled as they held each other's eyes in a long embrace.

When John returned that evening Katie's condition had worsened. He created a small tent for Katie to inhale the soothing vapors of a basin of hot water which seemed to be lessening the congestion. It was in the early hours of the morning when John turned to Kitty, "why don't you go lie down and I'll sit with Katie."

"No, I'm all right John. You really need to get some sleep you have patients to see tomorrow."

He took her by the arms, "as it so happens I don't have any appointments in the morning so I can sit with her."

She ran her hand over the back of her neck, "John, I'm not going to be able to sleep anyway so if it will make you feel better why don't you go lie down in Matthew's room and when I need a break I'll come and get you."

John smiled and ran his hands up and down her arms, "if that will make you happy then that's what I'll do." He kissed her and went into the next room and fell into a fitful sleep.

The next morning Matthew was gently shaking John awake. "Uncle John, how come you slept in Pop Pop's bed last night?"

John rubbed his eyes and yawned. "Because your sister was not feeling well Matthew and I wanted to be near just in case."

"Are you going to sleep here again tonight?"

"Well, if your sister is still not feeling well I most likely will."

"I like you here Uncle John."

"I like to be here too Matthew. Now, why don't you let me up so I can go check on your sister, OK?"

"Then can we have breakfast?"

He messed up Matthew's hair, "you bet we will."

He entered Katie's room and Kitty was slumped over the bed holding her daughter. John bent over and gently shook Kitty. She looked up with half opened eyes and John smiled, "morning, I guess Katie had an uneventful night."

Kitty stretched, "I guess, I'm not sure when I fell asleep."

John helped her up, "why don't you go lie down and I'll take the next shift."

Kitty waved him off, "I had enough sleep John I'm fine."

John began to escort her out of the room. "I'm the doctor here and I say you need to get some rest."

Kitty cupped his face with her hand and smiled, "yes doctor." She kissed him and made her way to her bedroom. She performed her nightly ritual before she changed into her nightgown and then laid her weary body down on the cool cotton sheets. Within minutes of her head hitting the pillow she fell into a sound sleep.

Matt was out back saddling his horse and with every tug on the cinch his excitement grew. He bounded happily into the cabin and grabbed his saddle and carpet bags and then stopped to look around. He smiled and shook his head thinking that at one time in his life he thought this was the only way to live. He went out the back door, threw his bag over the saddle horn, grabbed the reins of his horse, and walked the horses around to the front of the cabin. He was actually going home and his heart was about to burst when he thought about lying in Kitty's arms again and playing with Matthew and Katie. He lifted his foot toward the stirrup when he heard a sound and then a searing pain ripped through his body followed by another sound but that pain was not so intense. He lost control as his body hit the dirt and his head crashed against a stone jutting out from the pathway. The horses ran like the wind upon hearing the two gunshots echoing throughout the valley. He tried to keep conscious as he heard horse's hooves coming closer. The rider dismounted and rolled Matt over, "Well now, lookey here, if it ain't the big bad Marshal from Dodge Matt Dillon." He squatted next to Matt's body and looked at his blood soaked shirt. "Hey, wait a minute," The rider looked back at the cabin quickly then turned back to Matt. "Say Dillon you got your redheaded whore in there? I bet ya do, what a fine piece of ass she is. Fact is she's gonna' need a man now that you're gone." The stranger stood and walked toward the cabin and through the front door. Within a minute he was back out squatting next to Matt again laughing. "You are somethin' else Dillon. Ya the only man I knowd that had a good lookin' whore and ya left her?" He pointed with his thumb toward the cabin, "for that? Ooh or maybe ya couldn't satisfy her no more and she kicked ya out. Ya know I believe that is probably what happened. Wasn't able to get it up no more Dillon?" He stood over Matt for a moment then turned him faced down again. "Maybe you'll bleed a little faster this way," then he kicked him hard in the ribs. As he started to make his way over to his horse he turned back to Matt. "Probably surprised to see the hangman ain't got me. My representative said I got off on a techno…uh…techno…whatever they done call it. Don't know what that be exactly but had somethin' to do with someone doin' somethin' wrong. Be real funny ifn' that person was you Dillon after all the trouble ya went through. Anyway they put me in territorial prison but I killed a guard and hightailed it outta' there and wouldn't ya know that I'd be lucky enough to run into you out here." He kicked Matt again, "just a little payback for all the trouble ya done caused me Dillon." He mounted his horse and pulled back on the reins so the horse was next to Matt. "It might be the riskiest thing I'd ever done in my life but I think I'm goin' to Dodge Dillon and look up your whore. She be lookin' for a good man right about now and Jase Dakota is just the man she be lookin' for." Jase looked back at the cabin, "I'll have to keep this place in mind when I return. I'll have your whore fix it up nice and cozy for us." Jase snickered, "might even give her your regards as I'm beddin' her, oh, and don't you go worryin' about her. There never be a night that she won't be satisfied, she'll finally knowd how a real man feels. I'll have her screamin' so loud it'll wake up the dead." Jase roared with laughter, "oh, sorry, poor choice of words there Dillon." He then spurred his horse hitting the rump with the reins as he disappeared into the high pines. During Jase's long winded monologue Matt was weaving in and out of consciousness. He tried to move his body but it was as if he was paralyzed. Many times over he tried to command his body into movement but he seemed to be frozen in place. He could feel a tear running down his face as his mind drifted into darkness. As he felt the life draining from his body he had one final thought, "I'm so sorry Kitty, you were always the love of my life. Forgive me."

Kitty jumped up from a sound sleep gasping for air as she screamed, "no, oh dear God, no!"


	20. If Only I Knew For Sure

Hearing her scream, John raced into the room to find Kitty sitting upright sobbing uncontrollably. He ran to the bed, sat next to her, and held her tight. "Shhh…honey…it's only a bad dream." He continued to rock her back and forth as he ran his hand through her hair.

"John…it…it was so real."

"What was?"

"Matt…Matt was lying dead…in the road."

John continued to wipe away her tears and kissed her cheek tenderly. "Kitty, it was just a very bad dream. Everything is going to be all right."

Kitty shook her head, "No…no…it's not John. Every day since Matt left I've had hope because deep down inside I felt I would know if he was gone. I would sense it." She looked down, "crazy I know." She began to sob again, "John...this wasn't a dream…Matt is gone."

He held her tight, "Kitty, I don't doubt what you are saying is true but…"

Kitty pulled away and stared at John with tears pooled in her eyes, "since he's been gone I've never had a stronger feeling about Matt than right this moment." She pulled him into a hug, "John what am I going to do without him? I loved him so; I will never love anyone else like I loved him."

Although not surprised by her admission the words still stung John. He stared into her eyes, "I'm just going into the next room and get you something, OK?" Kitty nodded and patiently waited for John's return. "Here now, take these, they'll help you sleep."

She finished all the water in the glass as she slowly laid her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. John turned to leave as Kitty spoke in a whispered tone, "John, please stay with me? I need you to be with me now." John smiled as he sat at the edge of the bed and held her hand. He kissed her fingers then cupped her hand in his. He sat staring at the woman he loved and hoped with all his heart that she was wrong about Matt. She was trying hard to fight the effects of the drug but little by little she was starting to relax. He thought she was in a deep sleep so he carefully removed her hand and was on his way back to check in on Katie when he thought he heard Kitty say something. He leaned over just in time to hear her whisper, "I love you."

Father and son walked through the trees looking for big game. The son noticed two horses off in the distance and signaled to his father. Both men made their way over to the grazing horses still keeping a keen eye out for their prey. Before they reached the horses they saw a body lying in the road. The son turned the big man over and looked back at his father. The father looked around and spotted a wagon to the side of the barn. He pointed in that direction motioning to his son, "Neigh ga hoe. Na jay wah nah nee." The son quickly hitched the horses to the wagon and father and son lifted the big man onto the flatbed and then drove the wagon north.

John was sipping coffee deep in thought. Maggie was turning on a light as dusk was settling in the room, "can I get you anything to eat Dr. John?"

John smiled, "no, I'm fine."

"Miss Kitty must have been exhausted to be sleeping this late."

John nodded, "I hope she sleeps more."

Maggie looked worried, "something wrong Dr. John?"

John looked up from his cup, "Kitty believes Matt is dead."

Maggie put her hand over her mouth, "oh no."

"She had a dream where she saw Matt lying dead in the road. I tried to convince her that it was all a very bad dream but she feels something deep inside now that tells her he really is gone."

Maggie sat in the chair and stared, "I had never met two people who had such a strong connection to each other like they did. They loved each other so." Maggie looked up at John, "I hate to say it but I believe if Miss Kitty feels this way then she would know that Matt had passed on."

John shook his head, "wouldn't it be wonderful to share that kind of love with another human being?"

Maggie smiled, "it must be wonderful." Maggie stood and shook her head in disbelief, "and he threw it all away." She turned back to John, "she's going to need us even more now."

"I know."

They both were silent each with their own thoughts then Maggie looked over at John, "Dr. John?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you love Miss Kitty?"

John smiled, "with all my heart."

Father and son placed the big man on the mat in their cabin. A woman walked over to them and stared at the man. "Husband, who is this man?"

"We found him when hunting. He is still alive…must try…get bullet out."

"Husband, what if you kill him?"

"He will die now way he is."

The woman removed the big man's shirt and gasped as she gazed at his scarred laden chest but the more she uncovered the more she admired the fine specimen of man he was. She only hoped she had concealed the approval of his attributes from the men who stood around her. She moved over to the hearth and boiled some water then stood close as her husband began the delicate task of saving the big man's life. She grimaced as the knife bore into the man's skin and blood seeped through the hole. She closed her eyes as if that would block out the muffled sound of pain coming from the man whose skin was being pierced by so primitive a tool. She prayed his ordeal would be over soon as her man delved deeper, probing, until she heard the big man let out with one final scream. She opened her eyes as his head fell to the side and her husband held the offending metal scrap in his hand. She quickly put pieces of cloth over his wound and ran cool cloths over his face. His breathing didn't seem right but he was alive and that was all that mattered now.

Kitty awoke to darkness as she slowly pulled her body up against the headboard. The drug John had given her still made her feel lightheaded and had dulled her senses. She sat upright for awhile before John entered the room and turned on the light. He carefully approached the bed and sat down as he ran his fingers down her face. "How are you feeling Kitty?"

"I don't know if I'm feeling anything right now John. I feel pretty drugged."

"Well, I wanted you to rest. You were pretty upset before."

She ran her hands over her face, "I know I was but for some reason I don't feel the same way now. You were right it was just a very bad dream."

John smiled and kissed her hands, "I'm glad to hear that. You feel like something to eat? I'll bring it up to you."

"Katie," she began to remove the blanket, "I have to check in on her."

John grabbed her shoulders and put her back in place, "Now, now, you sit right there. I've been with your daughter all day and, thanks to my expert care, she is doing much better so I want you to stay right where you are and if you feel like eating I'll bring you up a little something."

"John, but you had patients today and…"

"Never mind now about my patients I want you to rest and get some nourishment."

She folded her arms in front of her chest, "I'm not an invalid, you know."

"There's no one who says you are it's just that I was hoping you'd let me pamper you a little." Kitty let out with a frustrated sigh as John smiled, "have something against being pampered?"

Kitty held his gaze then broke out in laughter, "I am a little hungry."

"Good…then I'll bring you up something to eat." He leaned over and kissed her, "I'm so glad to see you are feeling better."

She tenderly touched his face, "thanks to you. I don't deserve you John."

"You're right…you deserve better." She smiled, "now, you wait right here and I'll be right up." She watched him leave the room and wondered.

The beautiful Indian woman continued her ritual of laying cool cloths over Matt's body trying desperately to reduce the fever that was ravaging his body. She carefully lifted his head to entice him to drink the cool water and the meat broth she had prepared every day. She had made a poultice for his wound and was happy to see that it was showing signs of improvement. Her husband and his father were foraging for their daily meal so it was left up to her to administer medical care to the stranger. She ran her fingers through his hair which seem to soothe him and relieve his discomfort. She could tell he was used to a woman's touch and was certain that there was a woman out there somewhere who was deep in worry. She wondered what could have happened that he would be found all alone near death and as the days passed she became more curious about this stranger. One afternoon as she was preparing his meal he became restless as if having a bad dream. She tried to quell his delirium by stroking his dampened hair but the soft pleads became louder and his body thrashed more than she had ever seen before. She tried to hold his shoulders to the floorboards as he cried out her name in a raspy voice, "Kitty…no…I love you…honey…no." She tried to quiet him again by stroking his hair and whispering softly in his ear that he was going to be all right and eventually his body relaxed and he fell back to sleep. She continued to apply the cool cloths to his body and although not conscious that comforting action stirred him into an involuntary response. She smiled as she thought how very lucky this Kitty woman was to have a man like him to love. She checked his bandage and was pleased with the progress, now if she could only break his fever.

Matthew was kneeling on the chair posed before his cake with a chorus of happy birthday ringing in his ears. As if on cue, he blew the six candles out with one breath as everyone in the room clapped. Doc had made it back in time to celebrate the child's fifth but was disappointed that Matt still hadn't come home. He looked at his grandson and smiled. Kitty had done an amazing job raising the children but he suspected she wasn't alone. As Kitty began to distribute pieces of cake John came into the room. Matthew's eyes lit up and he ran into his uncle's outstretched arms. "Uncle John, it's my birthday today."

"Did you think I forgot?"

Matthew shook his head, "you weren't here for dinner."

"I had a few things to take care of down at the hospital but now I have the rest of the evening off so I can stay and read to you tonight. I thought you might like that better." Matthew hugged John, "oh, and I have something in the next room for you."

"What is it Uncle John?"

"Well, why don't I let you down and you can go see."

Matthew ran into the next room and stopped short when he reached the present with the big red bow. He looked back at John, "is this for me?"

John shook his head, "Well, get on it now and see how it feels." He hopped on the tricycle and began to peddle it. "Whoa, now, I don't think your Mommy would want you riding that in the house. Why don't we try it outside tomorrow?"

Kitty came into the room, "what wouldn't his Mommy want him to do?"

John reached over and put his arm around her waist and kissed her. "Riding his bike in the house."

"Oh, John you shouldn't have. It's beautiful."

John smiled, "Matthew seems to like it."

"Why wouldn't he?" She looked over at Matthew, "come on little man we have cake to eat."

He jumped off his bike and ran back to the dining room table. Kitty turned to John, "you are going to go broke if you keep buying extravagant gifts like that."

"Does Matthew like it?"

"Well, of course, but…"

"That's all that matters Kitty. Now…you were saying something about cake?"

She cupped his face with her hands and stared into his eyes. "You'll never know what your being here means to my children John…or to me. We couldn't have gotten this far if it wasn't for you."

She kissed his lips and he pulled her closer. It was getting increasingly more difficult for John to remain just a good friend when he wanted so much more. He smiled and gently ran his fingers down her cheek, "so…do you think I can get that cake now?" She burst out with a hardy laugh as they walked arm in arm into the next room.

With the birthday revelers back home or upstairs resting snuggly in their beds, Kitty sat with her back propped up against the arm of the sofa, legs straight in front of her, as John tenderly massaged her feet. She let out with a couple of soft moans as John intently watched her facial expressions as his hands brought her closer to rest. Between the stillness of the house and the gentle touch of the man, who she was getting closer to every day, Kitty drifted off to sleep. John slowly rose and gently placed her legs down on the sofa. He grabbed a blanket and laid it across her body. He leaned over and kissed her forehead, "sweet dreams my love," then without a sound closed the door and left.

Matt opened his eyes and tried to gather his thoughts. He was sure he had made an attempt to go home but it seemed he was still in the cabin. He tried to get up but the pain was so intense he quickly fell back onto the floor. When he opened his eyes again a young Indian woman was kneeling beside him. "Where am I?"

"You are in our cabin."

Matt grimaced as he tried to get more comfortable, "our cabin?"

"Yes, my husband Running Fox and his father Brave Bear. They found you on the road by other cabin. We not know if you live…but we try."

Matt nodded, "I'm much obliged." He winced as a sharp pain ran through his shoulder. "What is your name?"

"Little Fawn. I have been helping you fight the fever. What is your name?"

"Matt Dillon."

Little Fawn extended her hand, "nice to meet you Dillon."

Matt shook her hand, "how long have I been here?"

"For many weeks," Matt tried to get up but Little Fawn grabbed him by the shoulders and lay him back down on the mat. "You have to save your strength. Tell me what you want and I get it."

He took a deep breath, "my horses and my bags?"

"Both are here. What do you need?"

Matt looked under the heavy animal blanket, "well…by the looks of things… I could sure use some clothes."

"I think it not wise for you to dress now. I will dress you."

As she made a move toward the bags Matt grabbed her arm. "Uh…well…I think it best if I dress myself."

Little Fawn waved off his suggestion, "Don't be silly Dillon. I have seen you many times helping you fight the fever."

Matt could feel the heat in his face rise as he cleared his throat, "yes…well… I'm feeling better and...um…I can handle that just fine now."

Little Fawn put her hand over her mouth trying not to laugh, "you very different man Dillon."

"How so?"

"Not know white man so shy before. You were sick…only way I know how to heal. Not important what I see."

Matt was still uncomfortable, "well…I appreciate that and all but I think when I can move again it's best if I put my own clothes on." He motioned for Little Fawn to come closer as he whispered, "besides we wouldn't want Running Fox to get the wrong idea now…would we?" Matt smiled and winked.

Little Fawn laughed, "you very funny Dillon…I like you." She stood, "I go get you something to eat."

Matt watched her walk toward the fire. He was so thankful to be alive and given another chance to return home. His only problem was to figure out who shot him and would they be waiting for him again.

Doc and Maggie were sitting in the white wicker chairs on the front porch. It was a sultry July night and what little breeze blew off the river was a welcome respite from the heat. Maggie was fanning herself as Doc held her other hand and gently ran his thumb over her skin. He took a deep breath, "thought we might have heard something about Matt by now."

Maggie turned to Doc, "I thought so too but I guess there's a lot of ground to cover."

"I suppose." Doc sat quietly staring into the night. "The children are doing well…almost too well."

"What do you mean Galen?"

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "every time I come here they talk less and less about Matt. It's almost as if they have erased him from their memories."

Maggie dismissed the idea, "oh, I think if he walked in that door right now they would be so happy to see him."

"I hope so Maggie but it seems to me that John has stepped in nicely to fill the void."

Maggie nodded, "he loves her Galen."

Doc turned to Maggie, "who loves who?"

"Dr. John…he loves Miss Kitty."

"He tell you that?"

Maggie nodded, "when Miss Kitty had this dream where she thought she saw Matt dead."

"When was this?"

"Oh, about a month or so ago. She was convinced that Matt had died and although Dr. John tried to persuade her otherwise she was adamant that it was true. Dr. John and I were talking and I asked him if he was in love with Miss Kitty and he said with all his heart."

Doc tugged on his ear, "John is a good man but I hope he realizes that Kitty will never love him like she loves Matt."

Maggie smiled, "I think he knows that Galen but every day they seem to be getting closer and closer."

"He is such a dang fool."

"Who…Dr. John?"

"No, I'm talking about that overgrown public servant traipsing all over God's creation looking for happiness when it's all right here." Doc swiped his moustache with his hand. "He makes me so mad," Doc pointed toward Maggie, "and I'll tell you another thing when or if he returns I will constantly be reminding him of what an idiot he really is."

Maggie patted Doc's hand, "Galen, settle down."

He looked at Maggie and kissed her hand, "I'm sorry Maggie. I should be enjoying our time together and not thinking so much about Matt's ill advised vacation."

John and Kitty came walking up the path arm in arm. "Did you two have a nice walk?"

Kitty looked at John and smiled, "it was very nice." She looked back at Doc and Maggie, "it's good to just go off and clear your head every now and again."

Doc smiled and nodded, "well, that's true."

Kitty smiled, "I wouldn't have gotten through any of this it if it wasn't for Maggie and," she looked back at John and ran her hand down his chest, "the good doctor here."

"I think you give me far too much credit Kitty."

She laid her hand against his chest, "and you are entirely too modest doctor. I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for you." She kissed his lips.

They stared at each other interrupted only by Doc clearing his throat. John took Kitty by the hands, "Kitty I think I'll be heading home. I have early morning rounds tomorrow."

Her eyes never left his face, "fine John. I'll see you tomorrow then?"

John smiled, "I'll be here." As their kiss lingered Maggie and Doc looked at each other. John brushed her face with his hand then turned to leave. Kitty watched him walk down the path and waved goodbye. She stood for a moment then took a deep breath.

"Honey, is everything all right?"

She turned back toward Doc, "I haven't felt this good in a long time Doc." She smiled, "never gave this much thought before but he's quite a man." She looked back in John's direction, thought a moment, then turned back to Maggie and Doc, "good night you two. See you in the morning."

They watched Kitty enter the house then Doc shook his head. "Maggie, I just hope no one gets hurt in all this."

It was the beginning of August and Matt had almost healed from his wounds. For the past two months Little Fawn had kept a watchful eye on Matt's movements and although not pleased he followed her regiment to the letter much more than he would have done had Doc given him the same restrictions. Little Fawn was constantly at his side wherever he went and although he was still feeling weak he was very anxious to get on the road and get home. One day while walking she turned to Matt, "Dillon, why would one shoot you? Nothing taken."

"I'd like to know that myself, Little Fawn."

"You think someone shoot you again?"

Matt was tiring and leaned against a tree, "I hope not."

She stood staring at Matt with a puzzling look. "Why someone shoot you for no reason?"

Matt took a deep breath, "I use to be a U.S. Marshal in Dodge City, Kansas. Many outlaws or family members of men I killed were always waiting for their chance at revenge. There's a long list of people who would take great pleasure in seeing me dead, I'm afraid."

Little Fawn looked out at the landscape, "could still be out there then Dillon?"

Matt nodded, "could still be out there." He took her by the shoulders, "That's why I think I should leave as soon as I can. I don't want to burden you and your family any longer."

"Dillon no burden…you can not leave now. You can not walk but few feet before you need rest."

Matt dismissed her concern with a wave of his hand, "Little Fawn, I'll be fine. I've managed before after being shot."

"I noticed the markings on your skin. You had painful life Dillon?"

Matt shook his head, "never thought much about it. I guess I just thought it went along with the job." Matt began to feel dizzy and leaned into Little Fawn. She quickly pushed him back toward the tree to steady him.

"Dillon you can not go now. I will tell you when."

"Little Fawn, it's not that I don't appreciate everything you and your family have done for me but I'm afraid all your lives could be in danger if the person who shot me finds me here."

"No Dillon…you will stay!"

Knowing that he wasn't going to win this argument, Matt just smiled and shook his head, "yes ma'am."

"Come, we go back home now." Matt nodded and followed his friend.

"Matthew honey…finish your eggs…you don't want to be late for your first day at school, do you?"

Matthew looked down, "no Mommy." He tried hard to swallow the last remaining pieces on his plate but they weren't going down.

Kitty came over and helped him off the chair, "OK, sweetheart…now let me look at you." She smiled as she straightened his hair, "you are such a handsome little man in that outfit."

The little boy was trying hard to hide his nervousness but eventually made his feelings known, "Mommy?"

"What honey?"

"Are the other children going to like me?"

Kitty smiled, "of course they'll like you."

Matthew looked down, "but Mommy I'm…" John walked into the room and he caught Matthew's eye. He went running to his uncle, "Uncle John," John scooped the boy up in his arms, "can you come to school with me?"

"That's why I'm here."

Kitty walked over and kissed John, "I'll let you two men have a little time while I freshen up my face. I'll be back in a minute."

As John watched Kitty walk away he noticed how sad Matthew looked. He carried the boy over to the sofa and sat down next to him. "Is everything all right Matthew?"

Matthew shook his head, "I'm a scared Uncle John."

"What are you scared about?"

"That they won't like me."

John looked puzzled, "who won't like you?"

"The other kids."

"Oh, I see."

"Were you ever a scared Uncle John?"

John put his arms around him and held him tight, "from time to time."

Matthew looked up in amazement, "even now?"

John shook his head, "even now. You know Matthew no matter how old you get there will be times when you feel afraid."

"What do you do?"

John reached into his inside coat pocket and took out a Confederate coin. "This was a coin my father gave me my first day at the hospital. He wanted me to hold the coin anytime I felt afraid and you know what?" Matthew shook his head, "it helped me get through that first day." John looked at the coin, "and it's been getting me through ever since." Matthew stared at the coin and John smiled, "you know something Matthew I think my father would like it if I gave this to you." He handed it to the little boy, "any time you feel afraid you reach in your pocket and touch it and I bet you won't feel afraid anymore."

Matthew climbed off the chair and put the coin in his pocket and smiled at John as Kitty entered the room. "So little man, are you ready for school?"

He put his hand out for John to hold, "Uncle John can you walk me to school?"

John stood and grabbed his hand, "I'd be honored Matthew."

Silence pervaded their short walk to the school. At the gate of the school yard Kitty kissed her son and straightened his hair. "Now, I'll be right here when you come out."

"What about Uncle John, Mommy?"

"Matthew your uncle is a very busy man and…"

John squatted next to Matthew, "I'll be here son."

Matthew smiled and kissed him on the cheek then patted his pant pocket, "I'll remember Uncle John."

John smiled and rose as tears came to his eyes. Kitty moved toward John as she watched Matthew make his way toward one of the teachers. John put his arm around her waist. "He surely has grown…hasn't he?"

"What is he going to remember John?"

John smiled as he kissed the top of her head, "just men talk. Come on, I'll take you to breakfast." Kitty smiled as she and John walked away from the school arm in arm.

The air was crisp in the mornings now and Matt knew if he was going to return home it had to be soon. He felt strong enough to make the trip but this time he was going to be very diligent in scouting his surroundings. Matt and Little Fawn were returning to the cabin from their daily walk. "Have you noticed it's starting to get cool in the mornings? The winter is surely coming." Little Fawn nodded. "I think it best if I leave soon, don't want to be in the way any more then I have."

"Dillon, you not in way. You have been big help to us. You can stay as long as you want."

"I appreciate that Little Fawn but I have someplace to be."

"What if who shoot you, shoot you again? Maybe Running Fox go with you just to make sure."

"No need, I'll be fine."

"I wish doctor had come. We can't make medicine like he can. Just to know you all right before long journey."

Matt took her by the shoulders, "you and Running Fox were the best medicine I could ever have. I owe both of you my life and I will never forget what you did for me. I just wish I could do something for you besides leaving the other horse."

"You well to travel is all we want Dillon." She looked down, "you are good friend…I will miss you."

Matt smiled, "I'll miss you too." They turned to continue their walk when Matt spotted a lone rider in the distance. He pulled Little Fawn behind a huge tree all the while wishing he had strapped on his gun. As the rider passed them Matt noticed what looked like a doctor's bag strung off the saddle horn. "Well, Little Fawn, looks like you may get your wish." The rider slowly continued in the direction of the cabin as Matt and Little Fawn followed carefully behind.

The rider pulled back on the reins when he reached the cabin, "hello in the house. I'm Doctor Williams. Does anyone need medical attention?"

A booming voice made the doctor turn quickly, "it would put this woman's mind at ease if you looked me over." Matt walked closer with hand extended, "I'm Matt Dillon and this is Little Fawn."

The doctor dismounted and shook Matt's hand. "I'm Rainey Williams." Rainey hesitated for a moment, "is this your wife?"

Matt smiled, "no, her husband and she saved my life. I was shot awhile back and Little Fawn would feel more comfortable if you could give me a clean bill of health before I return home."

"Well, let's see what we can do. Can we step inside?"

Little Fawn led the way into the cabin as Matt removed his shirt and the top of his long johns. The doctor looked at his chest puzzled. "Forgive me for staring sir but you seem to have been shot at a few times in your life."

Matt nodded in agreement, "I was a U.S. Marshal for twenty years."

"Quite a life you led Mr. Dillon. Now let's take a look at the newest one."

Matt winced as the doctor carefully examined the wound. "Are you experiencing much pain?"

"No, the pain eases with every passing day."

The doctor shook his head as he turned to Little Fawn, "your husband did a right fine job removing the bullet ma'am."

"That was the easy part doctor; Little Fawn here nursed me back to health. I had a rough time of it but she pulled me through."

"I would suspect you did." He motioned for Matt to put his shirt back on. "It still seems to be a little tender so I'll leave this pain medicine in case it flares up." He closed his bag, "I see no reason why you can't travel. Where you headed?"

"Denver."

"Pretty long trip. Do yourself a favor don't push it. Take as many rests as you need and I think you'll be all right."

Matt stood, "I appreciate it doctor," he shook his hand. "Oh, say, what happened to the other doctor that was covering these parts?"

"Other doctor?"

"What was his name, Bart…um…Danvers." Matt snapped his fingers. "That's right Bart Danvers."

Rainey Williams thought a moment then shook his head, "don't know of any other doctor…" He started for the door and abruptly turned toward Matt, "oh, wait a minute, hear tell a young doctor was killed awhile back…"

"Killed…when?"

"Now let me see…oh about two or so years ago I believe. He was heading toward Fort Collins and a family heading west found him lying in the road. They buried him and brought his horse into town." The blood drained from Matt's face, "did you know him sir?"

Matt shook his head, "no, he was taking care of a friend of mine."

"Where's this friend. I don't mind looking in on him."

Matt answered in a voice above a whisper, "he's dead."

"I'm sorry to hear that Mr. Dillon." Rainey made his way to the door and Matt followed, "well, just remember what I said take it real slow and I don't think you'll have any problem making your way to Denver."

Matt watched the doctor mount his horse and ride off. Feeling his legs buckling under him he quickly sat on the steps alone with his thoughts. Little Fawn watched him and sensed a change in his mood. She waited awhile before she went out and sat next to him. "Good news Dillon…doctor said you could go home." Matt didn't answer. She stared straight ahead for a moment then turned to look back at Matt, "not going to be happy when you go Dillon." Matt still did not acknowledge her presence. "When you go Dillon?"

Matt took a deep breath, "I'm not going home."

Little Fawn looked puzzled, "why you not go home now?"

"There's no reason to."

"What you mean Dillon?"

Matt turned to the woman barely able to speak, "I don't want to talk about it." He stood and turned again to Little Fawn, "I'll go back to the cabin I came from and live there. You have done enough for me."

Little Fawn stood and shook her head, "no, no, Dillon. Man who shot you be there. Very bad spirits there. No, you will stay with us."

Matt took her by the shoulders, "I won't be a burden to you or your family any longer."

"No burden Dillon. You will help us build bigger cabin. I will make place for you. You should not be alone."

"I appreciate it Little Fawn but you have two other people to think of."

Little Fawn dismissed his thought with a wave of her hand, "they like you too Dillon." She smiled, "you will be big help."

Matt thought a moment, "all right but you will tell me when it is time to leave?"

"Don't think time will come but you do not have to stay."

Matt smiled, "thanks Little Fawn but I want to stay."

"Then come Dillon." She grabbed him by the arm. "You stay."

"Then I think I better start earning my keep." Matt walked down the steps and toward the wood pile. As he lifted the axe Little Fawn watched her friend closely. She knew he was looking forward to returning home, in fact, that was all he thought about so why did he change his mind so quickly? He had not been very forthcoming when she tried to engage him in a conversation about his family. She had never asked about Kitty although she sensed this woman was very important to him. There were many questions she wanted answered but she had to let him open up at his own pace. She knew one day he would tell her. She just hoped that when he did, it wouldn't be too late.


	21. You Are Still In My Heart

Kitty propped the pillows against the headboard of her bed and slid her weary body under the blanket. She reached over and grabbed the book off the nightstand but held it in her hands for a moment. She looked around the room and her thoughts were filled with memories of bassinets, crying babies, and the love of her life beside her. It was now the beginning of October and still no word on Matt. The winter was setting in up north so the search would be postponed yet again until spring. She had hoped that Matt would have been home for the holidays this year but if she was honest with herself no one cared any longer but her. She looked at the empty space beside her as her hand lightly ran over the pillow. She smiled when she remembered how he loved her which made it all the more puzzling to think he could just walk away. She could feel her eyes slowly closing and her body begging for sleep. She returned the book to the nightstand and turned off the light. She moved into her side sleep position and with any luck, before long, she would be making love to the man who had always held her heart.

Matt was shifting his long frame to find a comfortable position on the hardwood cabin floor. Even though he had been away from civilization for so long his body still ached to be in a soft mattress with the woman who had captured his heart almost twenty five years ago. He hadn't been able to sleep very well since he heard the news days ago that Bart was killed. The thought that his message never reached Kitty and the fear that his desertion had caused irreparable harm to his family was not easy to live with. He still had dreams of unimaginable passion but they always ended the same with her leaving to go home to her husband and children. If only he could turn back the hands of time he would do so much more with his second chance but for now he gave no thought to the future. He was grateful that this family had taken him in so he wouldn't have to be alone. He wasn't quite sure why he thought living alone was part of the fabric of his very being for now solitude was a cloak he was no longer willing to wear.

Kitty had risen early after a restless night's sleep. She was starting breakfast when Maggie came down the stairs in a chipper mood. Kitty turned and watched her good friend, "you are in an exceptionally good mood this morning Maggie."

Maggie smiled, "I most certainly am."

"That all you're going to say?"

Maggie was almost giggly, "usually I read Galen's letters as soon as Dr. John gives them to me but yesterday…" she waved her hand, "oh…I don't know…I was busy so I stuck it in my pocket to read before I went to bed."

"And?"

Maggie took a deep breath, "oh…I hope this is true."

"Oh for goodness sake Maggie what is it?"

"Galen thinks he may have found someone to take his place in Dodge. He said that he would give us all the details when he saw us this Thanksgiving."

Kitty walked over and hugged her friend, "Maggie that is great news. If it wasn't seven thirty in the morning I'd offer you a drink to celebrate."

Maggie looked at Kitty, "I'll settle for a nice hot cup of coffee now. I'll start the pot." She looked back at Kitty, "we can celebrate later." She winked and smiled.

As she walked toward the stove Kitty's lifted spirits sagged. The thought of Doc finally living here permanently was great news but the most important piece of her family all together puzzle was still very much missing.

On their return from dinner at Antoine's John and Kitty walked in silence to the house. Kitty had been unusually quiet during dinner and he sensed something was on her mind. As they approached the house John looked at Kitty, arms wrapped around his, and smiled. "Something wrong Kitty?"

She smiled and dismissed his question, "no…not really."

"You were very quiet at dinner tonight. You're not feeling ill…are you?"

She shook her head, "no, doctor I'm in the pink of health." John knew her sarcastic tone very well but there wasn't much he could do until she was ready to talk. They were walking up the path to the house when Kitty turned to him. "I've been thinking a lot about Matt lately." John turned toward her, "We were having a very nice dinner and I didn't want to turn it into a whole evening of discussing my wayward husband."

John smiled, "Kitty, it would surprise me if you weren't thinking about Matt." He took her by the arms, "from the first moment I met you I've known how much you love him and how much he loves you."

"Then why did he leave John?"

John rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "I wish I knew so you could stop torturing yourself." He took her by the hands, "someday we'll get a chance to ask him."

"I keep thinking I rushed him into this marriage, this life, this whole family situation. That he just wasn't ready."

"Kitty I never saw a man more ready to take on a wife and child then Matt was that day. We had a wonderful chat over breakfast that morning and he couldn't wait to be your husband."

Kitty took a deep breath, "seems like ages ago, doesn't it?"

John wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "We're going to get him back Kitty…I promise."

She leaned back and looked into his eyes. "I really don't know where I would be without you."

John smiled, "you can't fool me Kitty Russell. There is nothing you can't do and that includes raising a passel of children on your own. You would have managed just fine."

"I don't know if the children would agree with you there." John laughed, "thank you John for everything."

"Kitty I keep trying to tell you I really haven't done very much."

"No, you've just been a father to my children and spoil them rotten."

"What's an uncle for anyway?"

She searched his eyes, "and to make me feel good again…to know that someone loves…" Kitty raised her hands, "oh John, forgive me…I shouldn't have said…I mean…to say…"

John pressed his two fingers over her lips. "It's all right. I'm very happy to hear I make you feel that way."

"But John it wasn't right for me to presume that your feelings toward me were…" John leaned over and gently kissed her lips.

As the kiss deepened John slowly pulled away. "Kitty I know one day Matt will come home because I refuse to believe that he was crazy enough to leave such a beautiful, loving, caring woman like you. You are everything a man could ever want in life." He ran his finger down her face, "I will be here for you and the children whenever you need me. I can't imagine anything more wonderful in life than that." Kitty smiled and kissed his lips. She pulled him tighter and it took every ounce of self control to break from her embrace. "What do you say we go inside before Matthew comes looking for me? I believe I have some reading to do." Kitty closed her eyes and took a deep breath. They climbed the four steps to the porch arm in arm then John ushered her through the doors into the house.

Kitty and Maggie circled Doc from the moment he entered the foyer. They were both so excited to hear the details of his impending move to the Crescent City. "All right now...let me breathe a little here and I'll tell you." They all sat on the sofa, "well…you see…Newly has been corresponding with his family back east since he came to Dodge so they are aware of how much he likes being in Dodge and how successful he is. In his last letter, Newly mentioned that I was looking to retire and although I taught him much about medicine he couldn't do it all on his own. A younger colleague of his deceased uncle wrote Newly and said he would like to come, look the town over, and that he might be interested in the job. The young man came about a month or so ago and I have to say," Doc tugged on his ear, "it's probably the first time I'm optimistic that someone is going to stay."

Maggie laid her head on Doc's shoulder, "then I would have something to be thankful for this year."

Doc kissed her on top of her head, "me too Maggie, me too."

They had been to the trading post before the first snows and filled the cabin with all the provisions they would need to get them through another winter. While Matt mulled over where he would eventually settle he had decided that living among the Indians would do for now. Little Fawn prepared the meal as the men discussed expanding the cabin this coming spring. She called them to dinner and they ate in silence until Matt spoke, "best antelope stew I ever ate Little Fawn."

"You ate before?"

"Well…let's just say it was on the menu. Most days it was a little hard to get down."

"Where you live Dillon?"

"Yes…when I lived in Dodge."

"You want more Dillon?"

Matt leaned back in his chair and ran his hands across his stomach, "no, that helping was filling as it is. I don't think I could have another bite." Little Fawn rose to clear his dish but Matt held the dish and stood, "here let me help you."

"No need Dillon," she stood and moved toward the pail of water. Matt looked over at Running Fox and Brave Bear who were staring at him. Matt smiled as he sat back down and they continued eating in silence. Unless having something specific to talk about the men didn't speak much and Matt was dreading the winter. Without a deck of cards, a checker board, or companions to challenge him this was going to be a very long few months. He watched Little Fawn cleaning the dishes in a house full of silence and thought this living arrangement might not be his best choice long term. He had made a commitment to help the men enlarge the cabin and maybe with a private space of his own he might think differently but for now his thought was to move on after the project was completed.

_**Russell's **_was filled to capacity again this New Year's Eve. John had been delayed at the hospital so Kitty was the substitute reader for the evening. With the children tucked snuggly in their beds she made her way downstairs to join Doc, Maggie, Festus, and Sam. She tried hard to focus on the conversation but her attention was centered on the front door. What she wouldn't give to see Matt walk through that door now. That thought spawned remembrances of New Year's past when Matt was there and how happy she was. She sat smiling as those scenes ran playfully through her mind and although she seemed to be enjoying the evening her mind was so far away. As it neared midnight, Sam returned with a two bottles of champagne and as the countdown began distributed the bubbly liquid to all at the table. As the shouts of Happy New Year rang throughout the restaurant, Kitty kissed her friends and threw down her drink. She watched the couples welcoming the New Year and she closed her eyes imagining Matt's arms around her again. She leaned into Maggie, "I'm going to go upstairs and check on the children."

"Everything all right Miss Kitty?"

Kitty dismissed her concern, "oh sure everything is fine," as her eyes began to water. "I just need to get away for a moment." She turned to leave and walked right into John's open arms.

"Is it too late to wish you a Happy New Year?"

She smiled as her mood brightened, "not too late at all."

John pulled her into a lengthy kiss, "Happy New Year Kitty. I sincerely hope that this year will be the best for you."

She cupped his face with her hands, "for both of us John."

He smiled, "were you on your way somewhere?"

"I was just going to check in on the children."

"Mind if I join you?"

She smiled, "I'd like that."

When they entered the apartment Kitty suggested he make himself comfortable as she walked toward the bedrooms. She smiled as she checked each child and kissed them lightly on the forehead. She first poured John a drink then entered the living room only to find him stretched out on the sofa asleep. She smiled as she went into the bedroom, grabbed a pillow and blanket, and made him a little more comfortable. She stood over him staring for a moment as she recalled their conversation earlier in the evening. He had quickly stopped by regrettably informing her that he was needed at the hospital and the chance of his return before midnight was slim…but here he was. She ran her hand through his hair and kissed him goodnight. She took a deep breath then made her way to bed.

Matt was lying by the fireplace wide awake finding it hard to sleep. Days passed without note and it seemed since he was shot he lost track of landmark days. He was sure if he asked one of the Indians they would be able to pinpoint the day but being precise no longer mattered to him. He put his hands behind his head as his mind wandered to Kitty and the last time they were in the apartment above the restaurant and how happy they were. He closed his eyes as visions of them together elicited a physical reaction that he hadn't experienced in quite awhile. He wanted and needed to be in her arms again begging for forgiveness but then fear set in and the thought that she would be unwilling to give him another chance froze him into inaction.

It was going to be another successful Valentine's Day at _**Russell's**_. Kitty's plan was to stay home snuggled in bed with a good book. The thought of seeing so many celebrating couples would only depress her further and remind her how much she missed Matt. Maggie had decided she was going to cook for Doc this year so staying up in her room would keep Kitty out from under foot. John was scheduled to be at the hospital and although she had hoped he would have had time to be with her she had to remind herself that he had other responsibilities besides being her constant companion. She was standing at the French doors of her bedroom, arms folded, looking out at the night, when she made the decision to get dressed and head for the restaurant.

Kitty smiled at the hostess as she surveyed the room, "looks like it's another good night Annie."

"That it is Miss Kitty. It's been busy but steady, not too overwhelming."

She patted the woman's arm, "I'll be in my office if you need me."

Kitty tried to concentrate on the books but the joyous noise from the next room flooded her mind with so many memories. She leaned back in her chair and wondered if Matt could still be alive. The more she thought about her life without him the sadder she became. She quickly closed the books and decided she shouldn't have deviated from her original plan. She grabbed her wrap and made her way to the front door to head home. As she walked onto the street there stood John, carriage waiting, long stemmed roses in hand. "Your carriage awaits…my lady"

"John…how…I mean…I thought…"

John smiled, "that's what I wanted you to think."

Kitty walked toward him, "how did you know I would be down here?"

John shrugged, "I thought I knew you well enough to know you couldn't keep away from your place of business tonight." She was happy to see him but couldn't help but think how much happier she would be if Matt were standing there. John closely studied her face as she looked on the verge of tears. He took her by the arms, "is everything all right, Kitty?"

She hugged him, "oh John, I don't know what kind of company I'll be tonight."

He ran his hands up and down her back, "you let me worry about that…besides you need to eat and from what I've heard Maggie and Galen are having their own celebration at the house. We wouldn't want to walk in on anything…would we?"

She leaned back slightly to see his face and smiled, "I guess they do deserve some time together. Well, doctor, if you can stand my company this evening I'll be more than happy to have dinner with you."

As he helped her into the carriage he chuckled. "Could you be any worse than you normally are?"

She turned and shot him a look then laughed as she hit his chest lightly, "oh, you!" John took his place next to her and she laid her head on his shoulder, "John…thank you. I was feeling pretty low inside and then there you were."

He placed his two fingers under her chin and brought her face up to his, "I'll always be here for you Kitty…I hope you know that." She smiled as their kiss turned passionate. She laid her head back on his shoulder and he held her tight as the carriage turned down St. Louis Street.

Doc and Maggie walked arm in arm to the sofa. Doc put his arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder. "That was the best meal I ever ate Maggie."

"Galen, now, you've eaten my cooking before."

Doc shook his head, "I know I have but for some reason it was particularly good tonight."

Doc ran his hand up and down her arm as they sat in silence enjoying their time together. "Is everything all right Galen?"

Doc smiled, "nothing could be better. I'm here with you in my arms, my grandchildren are upstairs sleeping, and my dearest friends are here with me, well, almost all anyway."

Maggie held him closer, "do you think Matt can still be alive?"

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "well, for Kitty's sake I hope he is. You saw her tonight putting on a brave face as if nothing is wrong but I know the holidays are pretty rough for her...especially romantic ones."

Maggie nodded, "I know but Dr. John…"

"Maggie, I know Kitty cares about him and he is very good company for her now but I'm equally as sure there's not a day goes by that she doesn't think about Matt or wish he was here." Doc shook his head, "I don't want to think he's dead but I believe it would hurt her more if it turns out he wanted to be alone more than be here to love her."

"If it turns out Matt is dead do you think she will marry Dr. John? I know he loves her very much."

Doc tugged on his ear, "well…if Matt were dead she might. I know Kitty wouldn't react the way she does to John's overtures if she didn't really have some affection for him. The good thing about John is he knows her history with Matt and fully understands that even if she becomes his wife he would never have all of her. There would always be a part of her heart that would belong to Matt." Doc shook his head, "Yep, our Dr. Chapman is a rare man indeed." He looked over at Maggie, "I don't know why but every time we are together the conversation always takes a turn toward Kitty's love life when we should be talking about our own."

Maggie rubbed his chest, "she's very important to both of us Galen…I don't mind."

"Well…I do." Doc released Maggie from his embrace and began to move off the sofa. Maggie watched Doc stand wondering what she said that would make him want to leave. Doc saw the worried look on her face and knew he better make his move quickly or the mood would be broken. "I hope I'll be able to do this Maggie." Doc slowly knelt on one knee and reached into his pocket. The tears began to form in Maggie's eyes. "Maggie, I want you to be my wife." He opened the box holding the ring, "would you do me the honor of marrying me?"

She cupped his face with her hands, "oh Galen…yes…a hundred times yes."

He placed the ring on her shaking finger and smiled, "now, if you don't mind, I need a little assistance here." Maggie rose quickly and helped him stand. "I love you Maggie O'Leary."

"Oh, Galen Adams…I love you."

John and Kitty were coming up the walk. When they reached the porch Kitty turned to him. "John I want to thank you for a wonderful evening. It didn't start out that way but you certainly brightened my night."

John smiled, "I do what I can."

Kitty chuckled, "I know you do. I just hope the evening was just as enjoyable for you. I'm not the best company lately always talking about Matt."

He gently grabbed her arms, "you are always the best company for me." He kissed her, "and as for Matt," he moved a few strands of hair off her face, "Kitty, he is a big part of your life…has been for most of your life…and he is the love of your life. I would be a fool to think you could put him out of your mind forever."

"Do you think there's a chance he's still alive?"

"Until we know for sure…there's always a chance."

She put her hand to her head and closed her eyes, "I just can't fathom why he wouldn't want to come home. Did he really choose the wide open spaces over me?" Kitty waved her hand, "oh…I don't know…maybe he was hurt and some woman nursed him back to health and he fell in love with her…heck…he could have other children by now."

John wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a big hug, "Kitty, stop now. Stop thinking that way. I can't see him wanting anything or anyone else in life but you." She began to cry as John held her tight, "I know…honey…I know…let it out."

"I want to hate him John I truly do for all he has put me through but I can't…I wish I could but I can't."

John rubbed his hand up and down her back, "I know you can't honey…I know."

The wave of emotion slowly passed and Kitty cupped John's face with her hands, "John, I'm so sorry to put you through this. I wish I could forget I really do. You have been so patient with me."

He reached to wipe the tears from her eyes, "you couldn't forget Matt just as much as I could never forget you. Kitty, what you feel is perfectly normal and I have no problem being the person you cry your eyes out to."

Kitty chuckled, "you always know the right thing to say doctor." He kissed her longingly, "and the right thing to do." She stared into his loving eyes and smiled, "come in for a nightcap?"

"I really shouldn't I have to…"

She rubbed his chest, "I understand…I'll see you tomorrow then?"

He saw the disappointment in her face, "well…maybe one." Her face brightened as he grabbed her by the waist and escorted her through the door.

Doc and Maggie were still on the sofa when the front door opened. "How was your evening, you two?"

John took her wrap as Kitty walked into the room, "John surprised me with the most wonderful evening."

Doc pointed in her direction, "nice floral arrangement."

"I know aren't they beautiful? I better get them in water, excuse me."

"Well…no young lady…you're not excused."

Kitty turned toward Doc, "is there something wrong Doc?"

Doc stood and walked over to Kitty as he tugged on his ear. "Well…no…now. I would have to say everything is very right."

Kitty looked puzzled, "what are you saying Doc?"

"Well…now…I guess what I'm saying is that," he pointed over in Maggie's direction, "we might have to check that woman's sanity…yes sir…cause she isn't right in the head...I'll tell you that."

Maggie started to giggle as she rose and stood next to Doc. "I think what Galen is trying to say is," she extended her left hand, "he proposed and I said yes."

The women shrieked and hugged while the men just smiled. "Maggie, I'm so happy for you." Kitty held Maggie at arm's length, "well…we'll have the wedding here of course and we'll have Mrs. Boudreau make the gowns and…oh Maggie I am so happy." She hugged her again.

Doc cleared his voice, "I'm part of this too, you know. Don't I get some celebratory hugs and kisses? She's marrying me, you know!"

Kitty walked over to Doc with tears in her eyes, "in the words of my good friend Festus…come here ya ole scudder." Kitty gave him a big hug and kiss.

"Now why did you have to mention his name for? This was a pleasant celebration up until a second ago."

John congratulated the happy couple and Kitty walked over and put her arms around John's waist. "I think this occasion calls for a celebratory drink. Doc, why don't you and Maggie go into the living room and the good doctor and I will get the drinks."

They silently walked arm in arm to the bench at the train depot waiting for the iron horse to whisk him away back to the dusty streets of Dodge. It would have been an idyllic four months even if Doc hadn't proposed but now that the commitment was made Maggie had never been more happy or excited in her life. There were so many things she was going to have to do before the wedding, one of which was finding her sister. She would like nothing more than for her to witness the day she pledges her love and fidelity to the most wonderful man in the world. Doc ran his hand across her back in a soothing rhythm as she held him tight breathing in the scent of her soon to be husband. As he looked down at Maggie he smiled for he couldn't remember a moment in his life when he was more contented then he was now. He would miss her warm smile, tender touch, and how she felt in his arms but if all worked out he would be back in another few months and she would be his forever. The train sluggishly pulled into the station and Doc wished he had a few more moments to hold her. She looked up at him, "Oh Galen, maybe I should go with you."

He smiled, "Well…that is a fine idea but I thought you were going to try and locate your sister? As much as I would love for you to come with me I would think you'd want to be here when they find her."

"I know, I really do want to be here but I don't want to let you go either."

Doc pulled her tight, "Oh, Maggie, it's so hard to let you go too but I really believe within the next few months I'll be back here for good and you and I will be married in front of all our family and friends. There is only one thing I do regret."

"What's that Galen?"

"I so wanted our first night together to be on our wedding night. I hope I didn't ruin anything for you."

Maggie began to chuckle, "I think Miss Kitty and Dr. John gave us a little too much to drink that night. So I guess if you have to blame someone we could blame them."

Doc laughed. "By golly Maggie," he swiped at his moustache, "I think they should shoulder the blame." He looked over at the train, "I suppose I should be making my way over there."

They stood and walked arm in arm until they reached the stairs of the train. "Galen, I don't regret that night at all. You made me very happy and I had never felt more loved in my life. Waking up next to you was a dream come true and all the while you are away I'll think about that night and how you loved me and I know I won't be so lonely."

Doc's eyes became watery as he tried to speak. He finally was able to clear his throat, "Maggie…now…you're giving this old man a renewed sense of purpose. The thought that I can still make a fair maiden feel loved even after spending so much time out of practice…so to speak…well," Doc chuckled, "for your own good I don't think you should encourage me young lady…I only hope I'll be able to duplicate that feat."

"There is no doubt in my mind that you will." She cupped his face with her hands, "I love you Galen and no matter what you'll be able to do or can't do I will still always love you."

He pulled her to him and kissed her, "Maggie, I love you. All the while I'm away I'll be thinking about our wedding day and how I'm the luckiest man in the world." He kissed her again and ran his fingers down her face, "I'll see you in a few months my love." She reluctantly let him go as she watched him take his seat by the window. The whistle blew and the train slowly chugged out of the depot. As the steam wafted through the air she blew Doc a kiss and he waved goodbye.

It was an unseasonably cool April day in New Orleans. It would have been their sixth anniversary and the thought that this day meant more to her than Matt saddened her. She opened the top drawer of her dresser and his ring caught her eye. She took it in her hand and lightly ran her finger around the gold band. She closed her fingers around it and held it tight in her hand as she closed her eyes, "Oh Matt, why won't you come home?"

Matt woke early and started the fire. He crept back under the blanket waiting for the flames to take the chill out of the room. This had become his new morning ritual since the day Running Fox disapproved of his gesture to help Little Fawn prepare breakfast so he decided to use this time to reevaluate his life. He still did not feel totally comfortable with anyone except Little Fawn and he wasn't sure if that would ever change as time went on. As he stared up at the ceiling he thought of leaving and maybe living in another city like Denver or Topeka or maybe even Dodge, he wasn't sure why but New Orleans wasn't on the list. As much as he ached to see Kitty and the children again the thought that she could have moved on and was happy with someone else would bring him much too much pain. He couldn't blame Kitty if she took his disappearance as a betrayal of his vow and there were days he wanted to go back just to explain but then the insecurities would creep into his mind and he felt her life would be better off without him. After all, she had twenty years of coming in second to his duty and obligation could he now expect her to understand his selfish desertion and forgive. As he lay on the hardwood floor his life was at a crossroads. He wasn't sure if he would make his current living conditions permanent, there was someone out there who tried to kill him, and worse, he had talked himself into believing he could never go home again. Maybe when they started work on the cabin he would be too engaged to think about it all.

Kitty was coming down the front staircase as the door opened. Katie was playing in the living room when she saw her Uncle Festus standing in the foyer, "Uncle Festus."

He scooped the child up in his arms and pointed to his cheek. "ya got a kiss for ya ol' uncle?" Katie obliged and hugged him tight. "Now looky here youngin' I be needin' to talk to yer momma so I'm gonna' have to let yer down to go play wit ya dolls over there, OK?"

Katie shook her head in agreement as Festus put her on the floor and she ran off into the next room. "Is anything wrong down at the restaurant Festus?"

"Oh, no ma'am. I just come to talk wit ya a spell."

"Let's go to the library room."

Festus followed and when both had taken their seats he continued. "I been givin' this some thinkin' and I knowd ya don't care much fer me sayin' this and all…well…I just be thinkin' it needin' to be said…that's all."

Kitty looked at Festus puzzled, "what needed to be said."

Festus waved his hand, "oh shoot Miss Kitty ya done knowd that it be botherin' me to think that this yayhoo is spendin' yer good money to be doin' nothin'. Now I knowd how yer feel and all but I just can't stand knowin' that Matthew might be needin' my help and I'm not doin' nothin' 'bout it." Festus pointed in Kitty's direction, "I been runnin' through my head some things that Matthew might have tolt me 'bout Caleb's cabin and I be thinkin' that I knowd where exactly it might be. If nothin' else Miss Kitty I knowd I can track better than that there ninny they got out there now. I don't got a lot of money but what I do got I'm gonna' go look for ole Matthew and I'm a gonna' find him afore it's too late."

"Festus I appreciate what you want to do but…"

Festus interrupted her thought, "I be thinkin' on this long and hard and now wit old Doc marryin' up wit Miss Maggie and all…well…it be my weddin' present to him cause I knowd he want ole Matthew there." Festus could see the tears forming in Kitty's eyes, "now, now, Miss Kitty, I don't want cha to be sad…no need fer that."

She stood and Festus quickly rose, "you better promise me you'll come back here…whether you find Matt or not. I can't bear to lose you too."

"Ah shoot Miss Kitty. I got no place else to be than here wit ya and ya youngins.

Kitty placed her hand against his cheek and kissed him. "You take good care of yourself and come back safely to us."

"Yer betcha."

As Festus walked down the hallway to the front door Kitty called after him. "Festus when were you thinking about leaving?"

"Morrow mornin', first light."

Kitty walked closer to him, "see me at _**Russell's **_tonight. I'll give you the money for your trip."

Festus dismissed her, "Naw Miss Kitty now yer don't have to go and do that."

"Festus I insist. He's my husband and if you are willing to do the legwork the least I can do is fund the expedition." She smiled, "Agreed?"

"I guess I can't be argufying with that. Much obliged though."

She hugged him, "I'll see you later."

With Doc and Festus gone Kitty's circle of friends were slowly dwindling. According to Maggie, Doc was hoping to be back in June and it was looking good that it would be a permanent move. Now if only Festus could find Matt they both could be home for the holidays this year. Kitty was coming down the hallway on her way upstairs when John came through the front door. "I hope I'm not too late."

She kissed him, "no, as a matter of fact, I was just about to go upstairs and read to them."

"Then why don't you relax and set us up a round of drinks and I'll be down as soon as I have your children dreaming sweet dreams." His foot touched the first stair when he abruptly turned back toward Kitty snapping his fingers. "Oh, I almost forgot." He took the letter from his jacket pocket, "I have a letter from Galen for Maggie."

"I think she's in the kitchen I'll give it to her." Kitty smiled, "it'll give me something to do."

John continued up the stairs and Kitty headed toward the kitchen. When John reached the top of the landing Maggie walked toward him from her room. "Dr. John?"

"Oh Maggie, Kitty has a letter I received from Galen. She thought you were in the kitchen."

"I just came up the back stairs I'll get it later. Can I speak with you?"

"Sure…what is it?"

"Now that I'm getting married to Galen," she blushed, "I still can't believe it…you'll have to excuse me."

John smiled, "It's a wonderful time for you and Galen."

"I know Dr. John…I love him so."

He ran his hand down her arm, "I know you do. So…what was it you wanted to speak with me about?"

"Not that any date has been set yet but I would like to have my sister here for the wedding. I just don't know where she is. I was wondering if Mr. Walters might be able to find her."

"I can certainly ask for you."

She touched John's arm, "Oh…Dr. John…that would be so wonderful. I think I have enough money to cover his fee but if you could let me know…"

John shook his head, "Maggie, I wouldn't think of letting you pay for this."

"Now, Dr. John I can…"

He took her by the arms, "I insist on taking care of the fee. Let's just say it's a wedding gift…OK?"

She hugged him, "Thank you so much."

He held her at arm's length, "all I want you to do is write down everything you know or can remember about your sister including any photos you may have. If you have any idea of where you think she might be that might also be helpful. I'll give it all to Ben and he will do the rest."

"I most certainly will." She reached to pull him closer as she kissed his cheek. "You are a good man Dr. John."

John smiled, "well, if you will excuse me, I have a date to do some reading." Maggie smiled as she watched John open the door to the bedroom. She turned and made her way into her room to compile her list.

Later that evening John and Kitty sat on the sofa sipping their drinks. Her back lying up against his chest, legs out in front of her, his arm holding her securely in place. They sat in silence but with Kitty in his arms every night he didn't need words to feel content. He yearned to show her how much he loved her but until Matt's disappearance had been resolved this would only be a dream. He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her waist as he looked down at her face. "You asleep?"

Kitty took a satisfying breath, "No, I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

"Festus."

"Kitty he's going to be fine. I know he's been living here for awhile but I don't think that has dulled his innate instincts at all."

Kitty smiled, "I know but…"

"But what?"

"I guess I'm afraid of what he might find."

He lifted her chin with his fingers, "are you afraid he's going to find that Matt is dead?"

"John, Festus is a good tracker and I'm sure he will find markings that this other person missed." Tears began to well in her eyes, "he could find Matt…too late."

John pulled Kitty closer to him, "let's not think about that OK?" As he absentmindedly ran his hand across her back a thought crossed his mind. "Didn't you tell me once that Matt had suffered from amnesia?"

Kitty looked up at him, "ah…huh, he had been missing for months, longest he had ever been away. Matt would always make sure to send me a message from somewhere so I wouldn't worry but when that never came I began to believe I was never going to see him again." She laid her head back on John's chest. "I had given some serious thought then of leaving Dodge."

"Then isn't it possible that he took a fall and could be suffering from amnesia again?" John smiled, "Kitty he could be alive but not able to get in touch with us." John expected Kitty's mood to brighten but she looked as sad as when she thought he was dead. "What's wrong? I thought Festus finding Matt alive would have made you very happy."

She took a deep breath and held him tight as she spoke in a whispered tone. "Matt was in Arizona when it happened and he was rescued by a woman. They grew close and one day," she took another deep breath, "Matt…um…well…he…um…he…slept with her." She remained quiet for awhile then continued. "He would have made a life with her if his memory hadn't returned."

"How did he come to remember?"

"The outlaw he was tracking came there to kill the woman and I guess had a change of heart and told her who Matt was. As soon as she mentioned his name everything started to come back to him and he came home."

John continued stroking her back. "It must be horrible to not know who you are. Imagine how he must have felt." He could feel her trying to hold back the tears, "what's wrong?"

"What if he has amnesia and another woman is taking care of him when Festus finds him. What if he has another family? Do you really think he'll want to come home to me? A woman he doesn't know."

"Even if this situation existed there's no doubt in my mind that he would return with Festus and I'm sure that when he took one look at you he'd know immediately where he belonged," he ran his fingers through her hair, "but I don't think we ever have to worry about that."

"Why not?"

"Kitty, how many women do you think are living alone in the mountains?"

She laughed. "If there were only one, Matt would find her."

John chuckled as he lightly patted her back, "well…maybe so." He moved his head to try and see her face. "Feeling any better?"

She looked up at him and smiled, "you always make me feel better John," she shrugged, "even if Matt has amnesia again at least he'll be alive." She sighed, "we'll just have to start over…that's all I guess." She kissed him and held him tight. As he ran his hand up and down her back conflict raged. The unselfish man hoped Matt would be found because that would make the woman he loved happy even though nights like these would belong to them. The selfish man hoped Festus would fail in his mission and Matt would be lost forever. As he looked down at this beautiful woman resting in his arms he was unsure which man he really was.

Festus thought himself very lucky that there was a mule available for rent in Denver. He felt so much more comfortable on a mule and in his mind that animal made him track better. He also took it as a sign that he was going to find Matt, safe and sound, like he did in that old hide cutter's alcove in the valley east of Dodge. It took him awhile to get his bearings but with each step of the mule his confidence rose and before long he knew he was the best tracker this side of the Mississippi. He had run the plan through his mind a million times on the train but now in this setting he stopped a moment to reconsider. His first thought was to go straight to where he believed Caleb's cabin to be but what if Matt never made it to Caleb's? It might take awhile longer but he would check any and all cabins he saw along the way just to make sure. It was still pretty brisk and he was thankful he had decided to take his heavy jacket. He pulled the collar up around his neck and prodded the mule to head north.


	22. Family Ties Renewed

Matt had forgotten how invigorating working with his hands could be. He and Running Fox had gotten an early jump on extending the cabin and he couldn't remember the last time he felt so sore. Every night he would quickly fall into a deep sleep without dreams to haunt him and he had a purpose again and it felt good. He hadn't made any definitive plans for his future but for now he was repaying the debt he felt he owed the people who saved his life. Working side by side everyday he and Running Fox had forged a friendship and the strained relationship they had up to that point was slowly easing. The two men watched Little Fawn approach as they laid down their saws and each took turns drinking the cool stream water.

"That was mighty fine Little Fawn," Matt handed the ladle to her husband, "thank you."

"You welcome Dillon. When you want to eat?"

Matt looked over at his work mate. "Oh…I don't know…when do you think Running Fox?"

"Want to finish side. We eat when we finish side."

"Sounds good to me but I think we should sit a minute and take a break. We've been going since dawn." Little Fawn left the water and went back to the cabin. Running Fox motioned to Matt to sit. Matt took another drink and a deep breath. He turned back toward the new addition, "I think it's coming along just fine."

Running Fox acknowledged Matt's words by a nod of his head. "You big help...thank you Dillon."

"I'm the one who is thankful. You, your wife, and your father have taken very good care of me."

Running Fox eyed Matt, "what you do after cabin finished?"

"I would like to stay here, if you'll allow me."

"Little Fawn say you not know."

Matt nodded in agreement, "I feel sometimes that I'm a burden to your family and that it would be better if I moved on."

Running Fox leaned over and put his hand on Matt's shoulder. "You part of family. You want to stay…stay. We make nice place for you."

Matt smiled, "I appreciate that very much Running Fox."

Matt turned and stared straight ahead. The Indian could sense that his friend was not totally at peace and his sadness was evident. "You have home?"

Matt looked puzzled, "what?"

"I feel you belong somewhere…not here…not in cabin we found you. You not look like men we know who live in wild."

Matt continued to stare out at the landscape. "Give me a little more time and I'll look the part."

"Not need look part. What you feel in here," Running Fox pointed to his heart, "that important…not what eye see."

Matt turned to look at his new friend, "well…soon I'll look the part inside and out." Matt reached for the saw and looked up at the sky. "Maybe we should get back to putting a few more slats on the cabin. I think we put ourselves a little behind with this break." He stood as Running Fox watched him walk down the slight decline to the tree. Little Fawn had told him about a woman named Kitty and he wondered what had happened to make him want to live so far from civilization and this woman. He soon followed Matt to the tree hoping the puzzle of this man would soon be solved.

Festus had been in the saddle for weeks now plodding through miles and miles of tall trees and running streams but no Matt. The evenings were cold, the ground hard, and the food lacking. He tried hard not to lose faith but he was beginning to feel finding a needle in a haystack would be an easier task. He shifted in the saddle to find a comfortable position when he thought he saw a town in the distance. Although he desperately needed a nice meal, hot bath, and a good night's sleep there were a few hours of daylight left and he couldn't waste them. He eventually rode into town as dusk was falling on Fort Collins. He brought his mule to a stop in front of the livery stable and walked the animal through the doors. "Howdy, need a place fer my mule fer the night. How much that be?"

The owner turned and looked the stranger over, "fifty cents. Only stayin' the one night are you?"

Festus nodded, "yes sir. Be needin' a place to stay too."

"Then that be the Fort Collins Inn, right down the street there," he pointed to his left.

"Much obliged." With spurs jangling Festus walked down the boardwalk toward the hotel. The locals eyed the stranger all the way down Main Street until he disappeared into the lobby of the building. "Can I help you?"

The clerk stood hands on the counter a smile on his face. He was a big man, impeccably dressed, with wire rimmed glasses. As Festus approached the desk the man turned the book around for him to sign. "How long will you be staying in our fine establishment?"

"One night." As he wrote his name in the book he smiled thinking how proud little Matthew would be that his uncle had learned his writing lesson well.

"We charge a dollar a night. Now if you'll be needing hot water that'll be another dollar."

Festus nodded in agreement, "I sure be needin' to get this here dust off'r me, that's fer sure."

"Well, Mister," the clerk looked back down at the book, "Haggen, you go on up to your room and someone will be right up with the water. Room number 12…make a right at the top of the stairs."

"Much obliged," Festus grabbed his bag then turned back to the clerk, "oh and I gonna' be needin' some vittles."

"We have a fine restaurant here in the Inn but there is also the Iron Horse cafe, down at the end of town." Festus nodded as he turned to go to his room. He latched the door behind him, threw his bag down on the floor, and flung his weary body on the bed. It seemed his eyes had just closed when he heard a knock on the door. "Mr. Haggen? The clerk asked me to bring up some hot water for your bath sir." Festus opened the door wider and searched his vest for a couple of coins. "Just here for one night?"

Festus nodded, "be movin' on in the mornin'."

"Where ya headed?" The boy placed the buckets next to the tub.

"Visitin' a friend up north of here."

The boy turned, "know most folks in the area…what's his name?"

Festus eyed the questioning boy, "that be Caleb Nash."

The boy stroked his chin, "don't know no body by that name 'round these parts."

"Didn't think ya would. Ya see he's pretty far north of here…but 'preciate yer tryin' ta help."

Festus gave him the coins, "thank you sir, if there's anythin' else ya need…just give me a holler."

"I'll doer," Festus latched the door and began to pour the water into the tub. Every muscle ached and the hot liquid over his skin began to soothe him. He needed to send a telegram to Kitty, get something to eat, and get a good night's sleep but for now he just needed to feel human again.

John walked through the front door as Maggie was walking toward him. "Just the woman I want to see." He extended his hand holding an envelope. "A letter from your intended."

Maggie giggled, "I still find it so hard to believe…my age…getting married for the first time."

John smiled, "well…you got a good man there Maggie and as far as I know it will be Galen's first too."

Maggie waved her hand at John, "we're gonna be quite the pair that day…won't we?" She chuckled then looked back at John, "have you heard anything more about my sister?"

John shook his head, "no, but I just know we'll hear something very soon."

Maggie showed John the letter, "well, I think I'll go upstairs and read what my intended has to say." She smiled, "Thank you Dr. John."

"You're very welcome. Is Kitty in the kitchen?"

"No, she went down to the restaurant."

"Fine, I'll see her there." He tipped his hat, "happy reading!"

Maggie smiled and continued up the flight of stairs. She eagerly walked down the hall to her bedroom, sat in the chair, and tore open the envelope.

_My dearest Margaret,_

_I have such wonderful news my heart is about to burst. Newly's family friend, Dr. Terrence Maguire, has decided to stay on and take over my practice. Thankfully he has found administering medicine to rural as well as city inhabitants of Dodge extremely rewarding and challenging. His credentials are second to none and quite frankly I am surprised, but grateful, he has adapted so well to the place. What equally surprises me is my patients have taken to him so well that they hardly know I'm even in the room! Truthfully I am so glad that everything has worked out so well and that I can be home with you, my love, before long. I have missed you terribly and can hardly wait until you are in my arms again._

_All my love,_

_Your soon to be husband, Galen_

Maggie held the letter to her chest and closed her eyes as tears of joy ran down her face.

Feeling totally refreshed Festus headed toward the telegraph office. He sent off a message to Kitty and then walked around the town inquiring about his big tall friend. Eventually he made his way down to the Iron Horse café. He sat down at a table, ordered his food, and threw down an ice cold beer. He looked around the restaurant and remarked to himself how his life had certainly changed. All the good friends he made in Dodge had convinced him to live a more civilized life and there was no doubt he would stay with them forever. During dinner he couldn't help but overhear the conversation at the next table. "Ah, come on now sugar…haven't I been real good to you these past couple of years? I thought you and me had an understanding?"

"We did. As long as you kept me in the lifestyle that I had grown accustomed to I was yours. Once that ends," she shook her head, "well honey… I have to move on. Plenty other men out there who would love to get their hands on this." She ran her hands down her body.

"I know…I know…let me think a minute."

"You can think all ya want honey but my time is valuable." She stood up to leave but he grabbed her arm. "Stop it now…you're hurting me."

He whispered, "sit down one minute…please?" He put a dollar coin on the table. "This should be worth a minute of your time."

She took the coin in her hand, "clock's ticking sweetie."

"OK…now I told ya that I should be getting some money from that woman down south of here. The money should be coming in…oh...tomorrow or the day after. Then," he moved closer to her and ran his lips down her neck, "you'll return to the lifestyle that you love so much."

She slowly pushed him back and looked into his eyes, "doesn't it bother you that you're taking this money and not doing what you're supposed to be doing?"

He moved his face closer to hers, "what I'm supposed to be doing is making love to you all night long."

She pushed him away from her face, "I'm serious now. What do you tell her every year?"

He shrugged, "same thing I always tell her…been looking real hard but she has to understand there's so much land to cover and so short a time to cover it in."

"And she believes it?"

"Of course she believes it. She wants this husband of hers back badly. Now why should I go up into those godforsaken mountains to look for a man that most likely was dead before I even left Denver?" He began to run his hand down her arm, "maybe I would have been more willing to do my job if I had not run into the most beautiful woman in the world."

He kissed her then she looked down, "I feel sorry for her in a way."

He looked exasperated, "now why do you feel sorry for someone you don't even know?"

"I don't know…she obviously loves him."

"Yeah, well, maybe he don't love her. You ever think about that? What's he doing up in those mountains anyway when he has a woman who loves him so much?"

"I don't know but…"

"He might even have him another woman…maybe even prettier than his wife," he ran his finger down her neck, "maybe even better in bed than his wife."

"Well…I still can't help but feel sorry for her." She toyed with the costume jeweled ring on her left hand. "I would like to love someone like that."

He kissed her just above the scooped neckline on her dress, "now…I thought you loved me."

"I love the money you bring me honey… so I guess I'll see you in a couple of days then…sweetie." She quickly rose and escaped his grasp.

"Ah, come on now Belle," his eyes followed her up to her room.

"Got yerself some shemale trouble there…have ya?"

He turned to Festus, "shemale?"

Festus nodded, "ya know…the contrarian male."

He began to laugh, "oh, shemale…yeah….I guess you could say that."

"What seems ta be the trouble?"

"Run clean out of money." He leaned over toward Festus and whispered, "I don't know if you're aware of this but some women only want you for your money."

Festus shook his head, "don't knowd nothin' 'bout that. Never had to pay for it my ownself."

He straightened up in his chair, "oh, don't get me wrong. I've had my share of women who wanted to take me out of circulation but Belle there…well…she's different. I want to give her everything I have…except I don't seem to have anything at the moment."

"So…what's ya aimin' to do 'bout it?"

He threw down another drink, "well…my friend…either tomorrow or the next day I'll receive a boat load of money from a woman who has hired me to find her husband. Oh…listen…I had every good intention of doing the job when I left Denver but I got holed up in this town for the winter and I met Belle and I just couldn't see leaving after that."

"What's ya been tellin' that there shemale who wants ya to find her husband?"

He filled his glass and threw back another, "blame the weather, the land, the distance, not many people know what it's like up here."

"Hmm…should a done somethin' like that my ownself. Ya be pretty smart."

"Let's just say I was driven more by lying next to some nice soft skin than any smarts I might have. Care for a drink?"

"Nah…got me an early day 'morrow."

"Where ya headed?"

"Up north…friend of mine has a cabin up there."

"Well, safe trip," he raised his glass in toast.

Festus extended his hand as he rose from his chair. "Thank ya…"

He took Festus' hand, "Billy Michaelson."

"Nice meetin' ya Billy.

As Festus made his way to the door Billy called after him. "You see that woman's husband…you be sure to let me know…you here?"

He laughed loudly as Festus turned away and spoke under his breath, "_we'll just see who has the last laugh there Billy._"

Kitty was enjoying a beautiful May afternoon swaying in the rocker on her front porch when John walked up the path to the house. "Lady of the house taking a breather?"

"Just daydreaming…what do you have there?" She pointed at John's hand as he sat down next to her.

"I'm not sure why but you received two telegrams from Festus today." He handed them to her.

She looked over at John as she opened the first one. "He's in Fort Collins and will start out tomorrow…still no sign of Matt." She opened the second telegram, "hmm…now this one is a little confusing." She handed the piece of paper to John.

"He wants us to stop paying Walters man?"

"I'm assuming that's who the ninny is."

"I wonder why?"

Kitty shrugged, "well…whatever the reason I think we should listen to him." She looked over at John, "have you sent the money yet?"

"No, I was going to do that tomorrow."

"Let's hold off until we hear from Festus again." She thought a moment, "John, maybe we should call off Walter's man altogether. I mean Festus is up there now and if he wants us to stop sending the money…well…there must be a good reason."

"I'll do that tomorrow." John took Kitty by the hand, "now…do you think you could stop daydreaming long enough to have dinner with me tonight?"

Kitty smiled, "I would love that."

John leaned over and kissed her, "pick you up at seven?"

"I'll be here."

The air was still crisp when Festus walked down to the livery stable in the morning. If all went well Kitty had gotten his message and would stop the next installment of money to Mr. Michaelson. It bothered him that she was taken advantage of and there were many times yesterday he wanted to beat him into tomorrow but he kept reminding himself that it was more important to find Matt then to lose his temper and be arrested. A bitter wind blew through and he stuffed his hands inside his jacket pockets. He felt cold metal against his fingertips and pulled out his Deputy Marshal's badge. "_Well…I'll be_," He pinned it on his shirt and then saddled the mule and made his way down Main Street. He noticed the young man coming from the telegraph office. "Howdy Billy, looks like ya just 'bout lost ya last friend."

"Mornin'…I just about did."

"What happen'?"

"It seems they don't need my services no more."

"Who don't?"

"The woman I told you about…the one who hired me to find her husband."

"I'm plum sorry to hear that Billy. Guess ya be goin' back home then."

"Fraid so." He shook his head, "ah…Belle was just a dream anyways…all she ever wanted was my money."

"Seems ta me that wasn't really yer money. Seems ta me ya stolt it from that shemale who be clear out of her mind wit' worry 'bout her husband. Might be dead cause ya didn't bother ta look…ya ever think hard on that…did ya?"

"No…can't say I have." Billy thought a moment, "oh heck…the man was probably dead before I even set foot on a horse."

"Ya don't never knowd that fer sure…but I be tellin' ya one thing."

"What's that?"

"Ifn' I didn't have more importantness things to do today I be haulin' yer sorry ass off ta jail." Festus leaned over on his mule so that his badge showed. "I have a mind ta come offn' this here animal and beat ya ta an inch of ya sorry life but I have a friend to find." Festus pointed his finger in Billy's face, "so ya better hope we nary meet again cause it would be pure pleasuresome fer me to pound on that there pretty boy face of yourn's 'till even ya momma won't knowd who ya be." Billy stared wide eyed as he listened to Festus, "now ya just be rememberin' on this…ifn' I find my friend dead then I be comin' fer ya. I'll track ya down and I ga-ron-tee ya that I'll never quit. I'll keep a trackin' till my dyin' day and there be no place on earth yer be able to hide…and I'll take me a solemn oath on that." Festus straightened up on his mule and adjusted the reins. "So ifn' yer a prayin' man ya better be startin' now and hope I be findin' my friend a breathin' cause ifn' I don't ya be seein' yer maker long afore yer be expectin' to." He gave Billy a deadly stare then headed north leaving him scurrying to the livery stable to head out of town.

Claire O'Leary carefully assisted an elderly patient out to the waiting room where the woman's daughter sat with a worried look on her face. "Joanie your mother is doing just fine. She has a little congestion but the doctor has given her some medication that will help with her breathing." She handed the medicine to the woman, "now give your mother this four times a day and have her come by at the end of the week."

Joan looked relieved, "thank you Claire…oh and thank Dr. Reilly too."

"I most certainly will." She watched the two women leave the office then she returned to straighten up the examining room for the next patient.

Claire O'Leary had been in Biloxi now for almost twenty years. When she arrived in America she stayed with her older sister Maggie in New Orleans and the two were inseparable until she met Liam O'Malley. The two sisters began to fight daily with their arguments always centering on Liam. He was an irresistible charmer that had Claire floating on air with all his dreams and promises but Maggie knew him to be a common drifter who scammed young impressionable woman out of their money. Maggie had tried hard to convince her sister of the man's true intentions but she was convinced that Maggie was jealous of their relationship and wanted Liam for herself. One day Claire came home with the news that she and Liam were running off together. All of Maggie's protestations couldn't convince her to stay so she left and never looked back. There were days Claire did think about her sister but being stubborn she wasn't going to be the first one to make contact mostly because she could never admit to Maggie that she was right about her choice in men. Liam had moved to Biloxi first with all of her money, except for her boat fare to Biloxi and some pocket change, to make the arrangements for the two of them. When she arrived, there was no apartment, no job, no Liam O'Malley. Everything he had told her was a lie and she was adrift. She walked aimlessly at first trying to make sense of it all and eventually knew she had to find work for going home was never an option. She cleaned homes, rented a small room, and had money for little extras. As luck would have it she ran into Liam again while cleaning the Mayor's home. She walked in on him romancing the Mayor's wife and was fired on the spot but fortunately the next day she was hired to clean the Reilly home, the doctor for whom she now works. He saw her potential and convinced her to become a nurse and she had been working for him ever since. Her brief encounter with Liam soured her on men and she poured all her energies into being the best nurse in Mississippi. She often wondered if her sister still lived in New Orleans and what her life was like now. As she was on her way to greet the next patient she made a mental note to reconnect with her older sister one day. The last patient had left for the evening and Dr. Reilly put his arm around Claire's shoulder. "Do you feel like some dinner Claire?"

She smiled, "that sounds good." The doctor walked back into his office as she went to the closet to retrieve her sweater. It had been a year since the doctor's wife had passed and, more days than not, he barely managed to live beyond her memory. There were many nights she would stay at the office to listen to his stories and try to help him through his loneliness. She had always respected him but now after spending so much time with him alone she had become quite fond of the doctor. A few months after his wife's passing they started to go to dinner every night then he would walk her home, kiss her on the cheek, and leave her standing at her front door always wanting more.

Her reverie was interrupted by his voice, "ready?"

"Sure," he helped her on with her sweater and they made their way to the front door as a knock froze them in place. They looked at each other and the doctor walked alone to the door. "Excuse me sir, is there a Claire O'Leary working here?"

"Who's asking?"

"Sir, I'm James Anderson, I work for Ben Walters a private investigator in New Orleans...my credentials," he showed the ID to Patrick.

Claire stepped forward, "what's this about?"

"Are you Claire O'Leary?"

"Yes, but I think you be needin' to answer my question as well."

He tipped his hat, "Miss O'Leary, your sister Maggie has been trying to locate you. She hired Mr. Walters to find you."

"Maggie be needin' to find me?"

"Yes, ma'am, she would like to contact you. If it's all right I'll tell her you're here."

"Is she well?"

"I assume so ma'am. There was no mention that she was ill."

Patrick came to her side and put his arm around her waist, "what are you going to do Claire?"

She thought a moment, "if my sister is looking for me then she shall find me. Mr. Anderson please tell my sister I look forward to seeing her again."

The detective tipped his hat and closed the door. Patrick looked at his nurse, "are you all right Claire?"

She smiled, "not that I wasn't thinking about her for awhile now meself." She turned to Patrick, "I think we have something to celebrate tonight!"

John walked into the kitchen as the two women sat finishing off breakfast. "Hmm…smells delicious in here."

Kitty stood and smiled as she wrapped her arms around John's neck and kissed him. "Would you like some? I'm sure I could be persuaded to rustle you up some eggs."

John smiled, "there is nothing more that I would like to see then you rustling me up some eggs but I have some very important news to deliver."

Kitty's heart jumped, "is it about Matt?"

John's face dropped, "oh, Kitty, I'm so sorry I made you think that I," she waved her hand as she turned away from John trying to keep her emotion in check. "The good news is for Maggie…they found your sister."

Maggie looked up from her coffee in shock, "really Dr. John? They found her?"

He shook his head, "that's what Ben just told me. She's in Biloxi Mississippi and from what I heard she is just as anxious to see you again."

She rose from her chair slowly trying to process everything that John had just finished saying. "And…she's all right?"

"Far as I know."

She embraced John quickly, "oh, Dr. John…thank you so much…thank you so very, very much."

John smiled, "now Maggie I think you need to start packing. You have a boat to catch."

She released John and looked over at Kitty, "Miss Kitty, would I be able to go see my sister?"

Kitty walked toward her and hugged her, "Maggie, I'm so happy for you. You take all the time you need. Don't hurry back on our account."

"Oh, Miss Kitty, I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you."

Kitty smiled, "by being the prettiest bride New Orleans has ever seen."

"Oh...I could never be prettier than you were…" Kitty gave her a weak smile as her eyes began to fill. Maggie noticed and quickly changed the subject. "Oh…I have to write Galen…if you'll excuse me?" Maggie turned swiftly and headed up the back stairs.

Kitty sighed, "well…John…care for a cup of coffee?"

He moved toward her and held her tight, "Kitty, I am so very, very sorry. I was so excited for Maggie that I…"

She put her fingers over his lips, "I should have known that Festus couldn't have possibly gotten in touch with us so soon after his last telegram." She laid her head on his chest, "I want Matt found so badly I guess I can conjure up things in my head that can't possibly be."

"Kitty I know the day is going to come when I will be coming through that door with good news for you too. I just know it."

She looked into his loving eyes and patted his chest, "forever the optimist."

He smiled, "I'll do or say anything to take the sadness from your eyes."

She ran her hand down his face, "John, you are such a good man." She sighed. "There are days I wish things could be different for us."

He held her tight, "I'll be here Kitty…I'll always be here."

Maggie quickly sat at the small desk in her room, pulled out a piece of parchment, a pen, and gathered her thoughts.

_My loving Galen,_

_You are not the only one with good news! Mr. Walters found my sister Claire and surprisingly she wants to see me too. I will be leaving for Biloxi, Mississippi in a couple of days. Oh, Galen, I can hardly wait to see her, we have so much to catch up on. I am so glad she is alive and well and hoping that her life has turned out better than she had originally planned. That's all I've ever wanted for her and I'm so glad I'll finally have the chance to tell her so. I can hardly wait for you to meet her but more importantly I can hardly wait to see you again and say I do to the most wonderful man in the world. I miss you so much Galen but we will see each other soon._

_All my love, Margaret_

It was the beginning of June and the painstaking task of finding Matt Dillon was wearing on Festus. He was about to bed down for the night when he thought he saw a cabin in the distance. He wanted nothing more than to spend the night with a roof over his head and he hoped when he got there he would find it abandoned. He slowly approached the building, climbed up the few stairs, and knocked on the door. When he didn't receive an answer he turned the knob slowly, gun drawn, to find emptiness. Festus smiled as he walked his mule around to the barn and removed his gear. On his way back to the cabin he noticed a grave to his left. Fear struck him and he prayed this wasn't Matt. Night was rapidly descending so tomorrow would be when he would tackle the grim task of trying to identify the remains.

John, Kitty, and the children all stood on the pier saying their goodbyes to Maggie.

"Well…Miss Kitty…I guess I'm on my way."

"You have a great time and when you return…you return. We'll all be here waiting for you."

"I'm so excited," she kissed Kitty and hugged her, then John, then each of the children.

As she walked toward the boat the children called after her in unison, "bye Aunt Maggie." As she turned back to a sea of swaying hands she returned their gesture then turned with tears pooled in her eyes.

With the cabin finished Matt was thankful for the private space he and Running Fox had designed. It wasn't ideal but it was a room for him to call his own and, for now, that was all that matter. After dinner he had retreated to his space and laid his body down on the mat to rest. He still missed his family but he was steadfast in his belief that they no longer missed him. He glanced over at his bag and removed the small billfold carrying their pictures. In the glow of the oil lamp he fingered the parchment until the light flickered and he drifted off to sleep. He was awakened by soft pleading moans and he trying hard to please and thoroughly satisfy her. It seemed to go on forever until their final release and declarations of love. Matt's eyes were fixated on the ceiling as he listened to the loving couple in the next room. At times he would close his eyes and remember the nights he would fulfill his wife's every need and it tore him apart whenever he thought about how foolish he was to throw it all away. Try as he might he couldn't remember now why he felt it so important to leave her loving arms but he had and for the rest of his life he would pay the consequences for his irrational action. With quiet restored he drifted into a troublesome sleep.

Festus finished covering the grave. He couldn't recognize who it was but he was pretty certain the man wasn't big enough to be Matt. His best guess was it might have been Caleb but if that were true where was his friend? He walked over to his saddled mule, mounted, then looked around the landscape. Without tracks to follow, he had to rely on sheer instinct and that instinct told him to head north…he just hoped he was right.

Matt stepped outside of the cabin and sat in the chair. The onset of dusk brought with it a cool, gentle breeze blowing through the pines. He sat for awhile all alone with his thoughts when he reached into his back pocket and removed the billfold and stared at the photos of his family. Little Fawn sensed that Matt was troubled the past couple of days so when she saw him leave the cabin she waited for awhile before she joined him on the porch. She noticed he quickly put something away in his pocket as she sat next to him. "Dillon, what you have you didn't want me to see?"

"Oh…nothing…really."

"Did not look like nothing Dillon. You in poor spirit…something make you sad… what is it?"

Matt reluctantly took the billfold from his pocket and gave it to Little Fawn. She carefully opened the leather to find two sets of pictures. "Who are they?"

Matt was slow to answer. He swallowed hard then in hushed tones, "my wife and children."

She carefully looked at the pictures, "very beautiful woman…very handsome children." She looked back at him, "why you not with them?"

"It's a long story."

"I have time."

He looked over at her and could see the concern in her eyes. He let out a deep breath as he looked straight ahead, "besides being a beautiful woman my wife is also a very smart woman. She is very good at business and she opened a place that became one of the best restaurants in New Orleans...far away in Louisiana. Between her taking care of the children and running the restaurant I was feeling," Matt laughed a little, "you know… I can't even remember what I was feeling…but back then I thought I needed to get away for awhile. While I was visiting my friend he became very sick. The doctor told me that he was very ill and it was only a matter of time before he would die. I decided to stay with him and I sent a message with the doctor so my wife would know that I would be home after he passed on. I eventually buried my friend and as I was about to leave for home a blizzard hit and I had to stay for the winter. The first sign of spring I gathered the horses and was on my way when I was shot and that's when Brave Bear and Running Fox found me. When Dr. Williams told me that Dr. Danvers was killed I knew the message had never gotten to my wife and that most likely she felt I had left her for good."

"So that is why you not go back home when you well to leave?"

Matt shook his head, "I had been away so long…what could I possibly tell her?"

"You could tell truth. She not look like woman who not understand."

"She did more than enough understanding for twenty years. I'm sure she's all out of understanding."

They remained quiet both staring straight ahead until Little Fawn turned to Matt. "What other reason is there Dillon?"

"What do you mean?"

"You are hiding something. A woman who love man twenty years not stop understanding. There must be other reason you not go home."

Matt rubbed his hands over his face and sat back in the chair. He looked down at his hands and before he answered he took a deep breath. "I guess I'm afraid to go home."

"Afraid Dillon?"

He nodded, "I'm afraid that my wife thinks I deserted her and she has moved on and found another man."

"You never know by staying here."

He looked over at Little Fawn, "I still love her and if she was with another man it would hurt me deeply."

"But you are her husband. I know she be happy to see you and know you live."

"But what if she wouldn't be? What if she were happy with her life now? I would only interfere in a life she had come to love."

"What about your children? Do they not need their father?"

"I'm sure someone has taken my place there too." He pointed to the pictures. "As you can see my children were very small when I left. I'm sure they have no memory of me."

"You not know this Dillon. I think your children have bond with you even though very small."

"I wish I could believe that."

They sat in silence again before Little Fawn spoke. "Dillon," she pointed to Kitty's picture, "this is Kitty…one you call many times when you with fever?

Matt shook his head, "yes…Kitty is my wife."

She looked at the photo again then back at Matt, "Dillon, I think you go home. She wait twenty years…she is woman who will wait forever. I think you make big mistake staying here. If Running Fox away for long time I want him come home so I know he live. My heart…not take…not knowing."

She handed the pictures back to him. "I think you want hold them...not pictures." She got up and walked back into the cabin leaving Matt with his thoughts. After awhile he returned the billfold to his pocket, looked up at the sky, and decided to head home.

Matt was finishing saddling his horse when his Indian family came to say goodbye. He thanked Brave Bear who nodded his acceptance. He turned to Running Fox, "I have no words to express how thankful I am to you."

"We are thankful to you…build big cabin…not do without you." The men embraced, "safe journey my friend…we will remember you."

Matt walked over to Little Fawn who had tears in her eyes, "I will miss you most of all Little Fawn." He pointed over to her husband and his father with his thumb, "you take good care of those two men over there…as well as you took care of me," Matt smiled and winked. The Indian woman returned the smile. "Now remember what I told you if any one comes here looking for me you never saw me. I don't want you or your family hurt on my account…OK?" She nodded as he tipped his hat.

He made a move to turn when Little Fawn grabbed him into a big hug. "I miss you Dillon," as the tears flowed from her face, "you be with your family now…I be happy." Matt smiled as he mounted his horse. He turned back and waved and began his long ride home.

The Indians watched Matt until he disappeared from sight. Running Fox put his arm around his wife's waist and she looked up at him and smiled. "He good man…I miss him."

"I miss him too husband…come…I make meal."

As they turned toward the cabin she noticed a rider in the distance. They waited until he approached, "howdy," the man tipped his hat. "Ya speak English?" The Indian nodded, "I be lookin' fer a friend of mine…wantin' to know ifn' he came by this a way. Be a big man," Festus gestured with his hand, "yer seen any one like him passin' through?"

The two Indians looked at each other then Little Fawn spoke, "not see anyone for long time."

"Well…I guess I just keep a lookin' then. Much obliged," he tipped his hat and prodded his mule to move forward heading east. They watched the stranger until he was a lone spec on the horizon.

"Matthew, honey, finish your pancakes…you're going to be late for school." Kitty took a deep breath as she thought how much easier feeding the children were when Maggie was here. She heard the sound of the front door opening as she coaxed the rest of her children to eat up. She looked up at John as he came through the archway leading to the dining room. She smiled and walked over to him, "if I really knew how hard it was getting four children fed and dressed I think I would have stopped after one." She kissed him then noticed the seriousness on his face. "John…is everything all right?" He handed her the telegram. She opened it as her eyes widened and she laid her hand across her mouth. "Oh…my God…no!"


	23. The Returning

A lone rider slowly made his way down Front Street. It had been awhile since he was last in Dodge but he noted that the familiar buildings didn't look all that much different. He spotted his intended destination in the distance and his anticipation grew. He carefully observed the reactions of the townspeople as he dismounted and then walked through the batwing doors to a sparse mid-afternoon crowd. He stood for a moment scanning the room before he made his way over to the bar. Ned, the new bartender, walked in his direction, "what'll it be mister?"

The man smiled, "your best whiskey barkeep."

He poured the man a glass and looked into his steely eyes, "that'll be a quarter."

The stranger shook his head, "my…my…my…how prices have changed in this place since I've been here last."

Ned returned the stare, "there are other places in town you can drink if ya think ya can't afford it in here."

The man chuckled, "yeah…but ya see…there is no other place in town that has an owner as beautiful as the woman here." He gestured for the bartender to lean toward him, "and if all goes right," he motioned toward the second floor, "I'll be stayin' the night wrapped up in her arms."

Ned looked completely puzzled, "ya sure ya got the right place mister?"

He smiled, "don't ya go tell me ya don't think the owner of this here establishment isn't the most prettiest woman ya ever saw."

Ned shrugged, "maybe to some men…I reckon."

"Well then…ya just go fetch her and tell her that a real man is lookin' for her."

The bartender stood staring at the stranger as he pointed toward the second floor, "go on now…get...go get her." Ned shook his head as he walked toward the office door as the stranger threw down his drink and poured another.

Before long he heard footsteps behind him. Turning he saw a matronly looking woman. "Can I help you mister?"

"Yes…ya can. Now grandma go fetch the beautiful owner of this here saloon and make it snappy. I'm gettin' a little tired of all this game playin'."

Hannah put her hands on her hips, "I'm the owner…now what was it you wanted?"

The stranger stood in place for a moment before he walked back out in front of the saloon, checked the sign, and came back in. He leaned closer to the woman, "I'm losing my patience with all of ya." He shouted, "get me the redhead!"

Hannah looked just as cross, "and I'm gettin' a little tired of your boorishness. I'm the owner of the Long Branch stranger…have been now almost seven years. Bought the place from Kitty Russell…I'm a guessin' that is who you are lookin' for. Now…if you have some trouble believin' it then I suggest you ask anyone in town and they'll tell ya that it's true."

The stranger winced, "then where she'd go?"

Hannah shrugged, "your guess is as good as mine. She just disappeared one night and hasn't been heard from since."

"Women don't just disappear…someone must know where she is."

"This one did mister. Go on…walk around…ask anyone. It was a sad day for everyone in Dodge when she left."

He eyed Hannah suspiciously as he sneered, "yeah…well now…maybe I will." He turned to leave then quickly looked back. "Oh…and…your prices are too high for this dump."

John helped Kitty from the train holding Russell while he clutched Joseph to his chest. They both turned to assist Matthew and Katie onto the platform. She took a deep breath and smiled…without a doubt it was Dodge City. The few men down at the station were frozen in place as they watched Kitty and John make their way toward the center of town. As they walked down Front Street all the familiar faces politely smiled not sure if what they were seeing was real. Jase Dakota had just left the batwing doors of the saloon when he spotted the object of his affection across the street. It took him awhile for his brain to process the scene in front of him but then he began to laugh. His laughter increased as he watched a man hug Kitty and shake John's hand then walk in his direction. As Kitty and John made their way into the Dodge House Jase grabbed the man by the arm as he tried to enter the saloon. "Hey, who was that man with the redhead?"

Burke looked up at the stranger, "that was Dr. Chapman." Always ready to gossip and show how knowledgeable he was about all the comings and goings of Dodge he continued, "seems like they got married awhile back and," he chuckled, "started on a family right away." He picked up his hat and scratched his head, "don't quite figure though…never figured on Miss Kitty wantin' children at all. If she was partial to them I think she woulda had them with the Marshal." Burke put his hat back on his head, "gets one to thinkin' that maybe it's why she left the Marshal in the first place. We all thought they'd be sayin' their I do's one of these days then one night…gone. Marshal was pretty devastated…oh…he didn't let on but you could tell…he wasn't the same man after that. He even admitted it at his retirement party how much he loved her…first time anyone could remember him being so open about it. Guess that's why he headed for the mountains," Burke elbowed the stranger, "ya know…self imposed exile." He shook his head, "Don't think anyone ever thought she'd marry Dr. Chapman though."

Jase never took his eyes off the Dodge House during Burke's long winded dissertation. "Don't seem a man like that would be her type."

"You're right there friend, the Marshal and Dr. Chapman are different as two men could be…well…I guess he was willin' to give her children so she settled."

Jase mumbled under his breath, "_no sense in taking her now that she don't belong to him no more_."

Burke leaned in toward Jase, "say what now?"

"Oh, I was just remarkin' how a man would have to be pretty stupid to let a woman like that go."

Burke agreed as he stared at the Dodge House doors. "She's still a beautiful woman. Years don't seem to change her at all."

"Anyone hear from that Marshal anymore?"

"Not a word since he left." Burke thought a moment, "wouldn't it be somethin' if he came into town now and saw her here?" Burke chuckled again, "probably kill him to see her with Dr. Chapman…ya know…after all the time they spent together."

"I don't think ya'll ever have to worry 'bout that."

Burke looked back at the stranger, "what makes you say that?"

Jase shook his head, "no particular reason…just a feelin' I have." He hit Burke's arm, "thanks for walkin' down memory lane with me there…."

"Burke…Nathan Burke."

Jase mounted his horse, "much obliged."

Burke watched as Jase made his way down Front Street and out of town. He shrugged then made his way into the saloon.

Howie was busy arranging the keys in the pigeon holes when he heard a shuffling of feet behind him. "I'll be with you in a minute." He quickly turned while his eyes widened, "why Miss Kitty…and Dr. Chapman…well I'm…" he looked at the four children and back at Kitty, "well…it's so very good to see you again."

"It's nice to see you again too Howie. I know this is such short notice but would you have two adjoining rooms for us?"

Howie turned the book around for them to sign and checked his room availability. "Here you go rooms eighteen and nineteen…in the back…very quiet…best ones I have." He leaned toward Kitty, "they are a little more expensive than the usual rooms."

Kitty smiled, "don't worry about it Howie…we'll take them."

As Kitty signed the book Howie made small talk, "we sure have missed you around here Miss Kitty…town's just not been the same."

Kitty looked up, "that's very nice of you to say."

John took the pen from Kitty's hand and signed the book, "Marshal's not here anymore…last we heard he was headin' into the mountains."

Kitty tried to maintain her poker face, "yes…well…he always said that was where he would go if he lived long enough to retire…doesn't surprise me."

Howie pointed to the children, "looks like you made a nice life for yourself."

She looked over at John and smiled as he pulled her closer, "that I did Howie." She stared into John's eyes, "the night Matt told me he could never see himself with children was the night I decided I had to find someone who would."

John smiled, "and I'm so glad I was the man she chose."

"You're a lucky man all right doctor." He handed John the keys, "up the stairs and to your left." The party of six climbed the stairs under the watchful eyes of the desk clerk. Remembering the Marshal's retirement party and the feelings he shared about Kitty, Howie shook his head in disbelief.

John opened the door between the two rooms and he and Kitty went about settling in. If only he could make their charade real he would like nothing more than to hold Kitty at night as the children slept in the other room but he was sure she had other ideas. She gathered the children around her, "now children, while we're here I need you to do something for me. I know that this is going to be a little confusing but until we leave this town I need you to remember to call your uncle…Daddy."

Matthew looked puzzled, "why Mommy?"

"Matthew, this is the town where your Daddy was the Marshal and…well…it would be better if…can you just do this for me?"

"OK, Mommy." She ran her hand over his hair.

"Katie?" She nodded her head.

She looked at the twins and turned to John, "I think we're going to have a problem with the boys. I think they're too young to fully understand what I'm asking."

John squatted in front of them, "boys can you call me Daddy?"

Joseph pointed his finger at John, "Daddy?"

"Yes, Daddy."

Russell looked at Joseph then back at John, "Daddy?"

John smiled and hugged both boys. He stood and walked over to Kitty, "I don't mind telling you I'm enjoying fatherhood."

Kitty smiled, "OK…Daddy…your first duty is to watch the children." She turned back to her offspring, "Mommy has to leave for a little while but I'll be back as soon as I can."

John held her tight, "are you going to be all right?"

"I think so…but if not…I know you'll be here." She ran her hand down his face and smiled.

John returned the smile, "I will be...always."

Kitty left the Dodge House and made the long climb up the outside steps of the general store. Once inside she greeted Dr. Maguire, "how is he doctor?"

"Very much the same I'm afraid but he's resting comfortably."

"Can I see him?"

"Of course but don't expect too much."

Kitty nodded and walked toward the back room of the office. She slowly opened the door and peered around the door jam. There was the man it seemed she knew forever, a shoulder to cry on and reveal her inner most thoughts to, the rock she leaned on in bad times, lying so peacefully at rest. She sat down on the side of the bed, took his hand, and kissed it. "I guess you're pretty proud of yourself Curly…you finally got me back in Dodge." She looked around the room and smiled, "how many nights did I spend in here nursing Matt back to health?" She sighed. "Remember the morning you walked in on us…well…I guess there were lots of mornings like that…especially after Mace Gore." Kitty chuckled, "you always had such poor timing. It used to bother Matt so…he swore you did it on purpose waiting for just the right moment to interrupt us." She held his hand tighter as she closed her eyes trying to keep the tears from flowing. "What I wouldn't give to have you interrupting Matt and I once again Curly." She leaned over and ran her hand over his hair. "Now listen here Doc you're getting married in another couple of months and Maggie is bringing her sister in for the wedding so you can't just be lying here…you have so much more life to live…you hear me? Besides…Festus has gone after Matt and I just know he's going to be home soon and we'll all be together again…and we'll all be happy again Doc." She sat for awhile stroking his hand, staring at her old friend wishing he would open his eyes. She then stood, leaned over, and kissed his forehead, "I'll be back later Doc." She walked into the outer room where Dr. Maguire was waiting. "What happened doctor?"

"He had a slight heart attack coming up the stairs. He was resting comfortably and then one morning when I went in to check on him he was unresponsive and he's been that way since. Newly asked that I contact Dr. Chapman for a consult and I was happy to hear that an old friend of Dr. Adams would be coming along with him. Sometimes that's all a patient like that needs…a familiar voice…a particular scent…a certain touch. How long will you be staying in Dodge?"

"For as long as it takes doctor. I don't know if you are aware but he planned to retire to New Orleans. I would like nothing more than to bring him back with us…that's if you can spare to let him go."

Dr. Maguire smiled, "I have enjoyed Dr. Adams' company immensely but I also know that he has been looking forward to retirement very much and even if I did need him here I couldn't in good conscience ask him to stay."

Kitty smiled, "well…now…all we need is for Doc to get well and we'll be on our way." Kitty headed for the door, "I'll stop in later doctor." She turned back to say thanks and Dr. Maguire nodded.

John stood when Kitty entered the room and met her halfway. "How did it go?"

"John, maybe you could stop by and talk to Dr. Maguire. It's not that I don't think he's doing a good job it's just that…well…you might see something he missed."

John kissed her, "I'll go right now and when I get back we'll go and eat…OK?"

Kitty hugged him, "see you later." John nodded and left the room.

It had been three days and Doc's condition remained the same, baffling both doctors. Kitty was getting the children ready for supper when John came into the room. "Any luck?"

He shook his head, "just received word from Dr. Reilly again. He hasn't seen or heard from them." He sat on the edge of the bed letting out a deep breath. "Maggie will be devastated if we can't do something to help Galen get well." He began to rub his neck to relieve the tension. Kitty walked over and sat next to him and gently massaged his neck as he let out with a low moan. "That feels wonderful," he looked over at her and smiled, "just what the doctor ordered." They stared into each other's eyes for a moment, "how are the children holding up?"

"I think they're getting a little restless…Matthew especially. I can tell he loves walking the streets and exploring. He seems fascinated with the town and although I don't think he remembers Matt that well it's like he wants to walk in his father's footsteps." She dismissed that idea with her hand, "I don't know…I'm just being crazy."

John turned again to Kitty, "he is Matt's son. Just because he hadn't spent much time with him doesn't mean Matthew isn't drawn to the same things." John thought a moment, "why don't you take him out a little more. I'll stay with Katie and the twins."

Kitty shook her head, "between being with Doc and helping me with the children you are exhausted John. Matthew will be fine."

He cupped her face with his hand, "I'll be all right."

She kissed him and laid her head on his shoulder, "I hope Doc pulls out of this."

John pulled her closer, "me too."

Kitty took John's advice and walked Matthew around town. She had decided to take him to see Newly but it seemed every step they took another person stopped to say hello and chat. Eventually they made it to Newly's gun shop as the bell announced their arrival, "Miss Kitty…Matthew…taking a walk around town?"

Kitty smiled, "my son has taken more than a passing interest in this cow town so I thought I'd show him the sights, much as they are."

Newly looked down at Matthew, "so what do you think of the town Matthew?"

"I like it Uncle Newly, dirty roads, wood ya walk on, and horses everywhere." Newly laughed as Matthew looked wide eyed around the shop, "you have so many guns Uncle Newly."

Newly shook his head, "I don't own them, I just sell and fix them."

Matthew waved his hand to bring Newly closer, "can I whisper you a secret Uncle Newly?"

Newly squatted in front of the boy, "you sure can…what is it?"

Matthew spoke as quietly as he could, "did you sell my Daddy a gun?"

Newly whispered back, "no but I sure fixed many of his rifles," he looked over at Kitty confused.

"I don't want the children talking about their father while in town. I asked them to remember to say that John is their father.

Newly looked back at the boy, "well…your momma's right."

Kitty motioned to her son, "Come on now Matthew, we've taken up enough of your uncle's time and if you want a pair of boots we have to get to the general store before it closes." She looked back at Newly, "would you like to have dinner with us tonight Newly?"

"I sure would ma'am. Thank you."

"Say six at Delmonico's?"

"I'll be there." He smiled as he watched mother and son walk hand in hand out of his shop.

After purchasing the boots at the general store, Kitty and Matthew continued their walk down the boardwalk. Every now and then Kitty would catch Matthew looking down admiring the pricey leather on his feet with every step he took. He particularly loved the sound they made on the wooden planks and Kitty swore her son had assumed a new persona. She looked up from Matthew when she saw a familiar face riding down Front Street. When she stopped Matthew looked up and yelled, "Uncle Festus!" He broke away from Kitty and ran to his uncle.

Festus couldn't believe his eyes. "_Matthew_?" He quickly brought the mule to an abrupt halt and dismounted. He grabbed the boy up into his arms and hugged him as Kitty followed behind. "Miss Kitty what cha doin' here?"

"It's Doc, Festus. It seems he had a slight heart attack but now he's unconscious so we're staying until he gets well or…" she waved her hand to dismiss the notion that Doc might die.

"I tolt him so many times 'afore that he should take it easy. He works too blame much. Can I go see him?"

Kitty smiled and winked, "might just be what he needs...oh…and Festus…" Kitty leaned closer and whispered, "no one knows the children are Matt's and I'd like to keep it that way."

Festus nodded his head, "ya betcha…but who they be the youngins of?"

"John."

Festus smiled, "bet he don't mind a bit." He winked as he made his way to the doctor's office.

Dr. Maguire looked up from his medical book when Festus entered the office. "Can I help you?"

Festus removed his hat and fiddled with the brim, "I'm a Festus Haggen…I come to see ol' Doc…Miss Kitty say it be all right."

The doctor extended his hand, "nice to meet you…Festus…was it?"

"Yes sir."

"I'm glad to see another friend of Galen's has come to visit. I hope one more familiar voice will help bring him around."

Festus chuckled, "Doc might say I could wake him from the dead."

The doctor smiled, "well, then, Mr. Haggen, it looks like you are the perfect man for the job." He pointed toward the back room.

"Much obliged." Festus quietly walked into the room and sat on the chair next to the bed. He stared for a long while trying to string every thought running through his mind into something meaningful. He moved the chair a little closer to the bed and spoke in a whispered tone, "Doc…can ya hear me Doc? It's me…Festus." He moved closer still and his voice became stronger, "now ya listen here ya ole scudder ya gotta get well cause…well…there's Miss Maggie who ya gonna' be sayin' yer I do's wit and then there's Miss Kitty she be needin' ya now cause I looked all over creation Doc and I didn't find me hide nor hair of Matthew, and then there's them youngins of hers who love ya and then…well…there's me Doc." He leaned closer as tears glistened in his eyes, "Doc…ya knowd I'm not no good wit words so I can't say what I want ta say cause ifn' I said what I want ta say and I didn't say it right then you'd be a hoorahin' me 'bout what I couldn't say when I not be sayin' it right…don't cha see? So it be better ifn' I don't say what I coulda said and wait till ya wake so I could say what ya didn't want to hear. So ya see Doc…ya just gotta get well cause then I can tell ya what I couldn't tell ya when ya was asleep." Festus sat for awhile staring at his good friend, "Doc, it just not the same sittin' her wit ya and not havin' ya hoorahin' me for some such thing or other." His eyes started to water, "tell ya what Doc, ifn' ya get better ya ole scudder ya could hoorah me fer as long as I live and I ain't never be complainin'…not one time…just wake up Doc." He waited awhile for a response then he slowly stood to leave, "I gotta speak wit Miss Kitty 'bout Matthew…it ain't somethin' I'm a lookin' to be doin' seein' he ain't been found yet…I'll see ya later Doc." He placed his hand on Doc's shoulder then turned to leave.

When Festus entered Kitty's hotel room the children came running to him. He hugged and kissed each one, "now listen here youngins I gotta speak with yer Mommy 'bout some things so ya go in the next room there and I'll see ya later…OK?" They all nodded then walked into the other room and began to play. Festus partially closed the door as Kitty braced for the worse. She had been dreading this conversation after seeing Festus enter town without Matt. She was sitting on the bed and he grabbed a chair and sat down across from her.

"I gather you didn't find Matt."

"Miss Kitty I don't want ya to think I'm a givin' up now…cause I ain't…no ma'am. I was thinkin' that maybe Matthew might have thought to come here. Ifn' ya weren't here I woulda just gotten some supplies and went out lookin' again."

"Festus you must be exhausted."

"Findin' Matthew is the onlyest thing I gotta do." He flung his hand to dismiss the notion, "shoot…don't matter none 'bout no sleep. Oh…but I did find me a grave…might be Caleb. Could be Matthew stayed wit him till he passed."

"Then where is he Festus…why didn't he come home after he buried him?"

Festus shook his head, "just don't knowd that Miss Kitty but I knowd he was no where round them parts."

Kitty sat silent for a moment, "something has been puzzling me."

"What that be, Miss Kitty?"

"Why did you tell me not to send the money to Walter's man?"

"Oh…I plum near fergot 'bout that yayhoo…I had a mind to knock some sense into that there head a his."

"What'd he do?"

"Miss Kitty…ifn' I didn't have to find me Matthew I woulda beaten that there knucklehead to an inch of his life."

"But Festus what'd he do?"

Festus flung his hand around in disgust, "thinkin' he be sittin' there not a care in the world." Festus pointed at Kitty, "ya know Miss Kitty people like him get a shemale…dang blame ninny..."

Kitty raised her voice, "Festus…what did he do?"

Festus paused for a moment, "Miss Kitty, he be stayin' with some shemale takin' yer money and spendin' it on her. He done never stepped one little foot outside a Fort Collins. Ran in ta him in a eatin' place and heard him talkin' to the shemale all 'bout it."

"You mean for two years he never looked for Matt?"

"That's 'bout the size of it."

Kitty sat stunned for a moment then she began to cry. Festus stood and sat on the bed next to her and held her. She sobbed into his chest, "all this time I thought we were getting closer to finding Matt now he could be dead because no one was looking for him. Oh…Festus…I should have let you go years ago when you first wanted to. If Matt is dead it's all my fault."

He patted her back, "now…now… Miss Kitty. I don't believe Matthew's dead and ya shouldn't neither."

"Then where is he Festus?"

"I don't knowd that ma'am but I is gonna find out…sure as the sun comes up in the mornin'."

Festus kept rocking Kitty until she finally calmed down. She looked up at Festus with tears still glistening in her eyes. "Thank you Festus…I guess I just needed a good cry."

"I don't like ta see any shemale a cryin' least wise you Miss Kitty."

She cupped his cheek with her hand, "I know you don't."

"Well…I best be gettin' a room in this here hotel."

Kitty smiled, "I got you a room," she leaned over on the nightstand and handed him the key, "room number fifteen…why don't you go and rest awhile and maybe take a nice hot bath. I'll come get you when we're going for dinner."

"Ya sure ya gonna' be OK?"

"Sure Festus," Kitty waved her hand, "with everything going on with Doc and now hearing this news…well…I guess it all caught up with me."

He stood and went to the door. He turned back and looked at Kitty once more, "I'll see ya later."

Kitty watched Festus close the door behind him. She reached for her handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes as John entered the room. He saw Festus in the hall and figured he hadn't brought good news. He could see she was trying very hard to put on a brave face but he knew her well enough to know that was not how she was feeling inside. Without words, he sat down on the bed and took her into his arms. He could hear her muffled sobs and he ran his hand lightly across her back as his lips brushed tenderly against her hair. He waited patiently until she stopped crying. "What did Festus have to say?"

"Nothing much…oh…he thinks he may have found Caleb's grave but no sign of Matt."

"Then there still a chance he's alive."

Kitty sighed, "I suppose."

John picked her chin up with his two fingers and stared into her eyes, "honey, I know how hard you hoped that Festus could have worked a miracle and found Matt but realistically Walter's man has been there for two years without any luck."

Kitty shook her head, "no…it seems Walter's man was a real lothario."

"What?"

"From what Festus said Walter's man stayed in Fort Collins after that first winter with a woman and spent the money on her for two years."

Anger simmered in John, "I'll talk with Ben when we get home. If you want we can have him arrested and have him make restitution."

Kitty looked down, "the money is not important John, finding Matt was."

"But he shouldn't go unpunished Kitty." John thought for a moment, "I wonder if Festus got his name…I'd love to get my hands on him when we get back to Denver."

"John," Kitty cupped his face with her hand, "I need you here with me."

John gave her a smile, "you afraid I can't handle myself?"

Kitty smiled back, "I have no doubt you can handle yourself, what frightens me is that you'll be arrested for assault…then where would I be?"

He held her tight, "you're right…I'd rather be holding you." He kissed her. "Are you feeling any better?"

Kitty nodded, "I always feel better in your arms."

The next day Kitty left the children with Ma Smalley and headed for the Long Branch. She found Hannah sitting in the office so she knocked on the door, "Kitty, what a pleasant surprise." She stood and walked over to Kitty and gave her a hug and a kiss. "Please sit down." She walked over to the shelf and returned with a bottle of brandy and two glasses.

Kitty looked at the bottle, "Hmm…Napoleon brandy."

"Especially for you…I'm more of a champagne woman myself."

Kitty raised her glass in toast, "thank you for your thoughtfulness."

The two women sat enjoying a friendly chat as they sipped on the brandy. Hannah pointed over at her desk, "I have the books here Kitty if you would like to look them over."

Kitty waved her off, "no need…the place looks great and I'm very pleased with our partnership. Besides, I couldn't concentrate on them anyway with all that's going on."

"How is Doc?"

"Much the same. Both John and Dr. Maguire have run some tests but they still are not sure what is causing the problem."

Hannah eyed Kitty carefully, "and how are you and John doing?"

Kitty smiled, "we're fine…why?"

"I have to admit finding out you and John were married came as quite a shock. He never struck me as the marryin' kind…much less have a house full of kids."

Kitty sipped her drink, "I know what you mean. When John first came to Dodge to take over for Doc years ago I had that impression of him too but then Matt was away a lot and I had the opportunity to spend some time with him and we became very close friends. So after John left we kept in contact and when it was time to make a change I headed for New Orleans."

Hannah paused before further questioning. "Couldn't have been easy walking away from a man you had been with for nearly twenty years. What made you want a change?"

Kitty looked down then took a deep breath, "Matt was off chasing after some outlaw and he thought it would only take a couple of weeks. He had gotten in the habit of sending me a telegram to let me know where he was and when he thought he might be home but this time the telegram hadn't come and he was gone for almost three months and that scared me. I had no idea what had happened to him and I began to believe he was dead out on the prairie somewhere and that I was never going to see him again. I knew it would be too painful for me to stay in Dodge so I started to make plans to leave and, as I said, I had been writing to John so it seemed the logical choice was to go back home. As I was making plans to return to New Orleans Matt returned."

"I guess you were very relieved but what happened to him?"

"The outlaw ambushed him and his wound caused amnesia," Kitty sighed, "he was living with a woman…"

Hannah raised an eyebrow, "A woman?"

"Yes, it was painful to accept at first but I always trusted Matt and I believed in him and our relationship so after awhile we were fine. It was about a year later that gave me pause to think that Matt…well…if I wanted a husband and children I might have to look elsewhere."

"What could he have possibly done that could have been worse than living with another woman?"

Kitty took another sip of her drink, "The bank was being robbed and he tried to stop it and his right arm was shot apart. Doc didn't think he'd ever be able to use it again. Foolishly, I thought he would jump at the chance to retire and we could live the lives we had talked about for almost twenty years but he decided it was too risky for us to be together so he left. Not knowing if I was ever going to see him again and feeling totally abandoned I decided that was the time to make the move to New Orleans but before I could leave he came back. When I saw him standing at the batwing doors I was the most relieved woman in the world and I forgot all about moving down south. We talked that night and I had never heard him so serious about retirement before but as his arm improved, even faster then Doc had thought, the pull was just too strong to put the badge back on. That was the final straw for me so I decided to keep to my plan and move to New Orleans." Kitty smiled, "John is so different from Matt. He is so very attentive and he makes me feel as if I am his whole world." She took another sip of her drink, "don't get me wrong, Matt was and still is a very big part of my life and there will always be a place in my heart for him but what makes John so special is he understands this and he loves me anyway so when he proposed I had to accept." Kitty could feel her face turning red, "I guess we got carried away with the children though but I wanted them and he obliged."

Hannah smiled, "I can see he loves you plain enough."

"I have never been so loved." She threw down the rest of her drink, "I'm a lucky woman Hannah." She placed the glass down on the table. "I think I better be getting back. Thanks for the brandy…and the chat."

"Sure." Both women stood, hugged, and headed for the outer room.

Nathan Burke, Halligan, and Grimes were standing at the end of the bar, backs to the slightly ajar door leading to the back office. Slowly sipping their beers they settled in for their late afternoon gossip. Halligan spoke first, "it's good to have Miss Kitty back. Place just hasn't been the same without her."

Grimes nodded his head in agreement as Burke took the floor. "That's true Halligan but it just don't seem right seeing her with Dr. Chapman after all the years she was with the Marshal."

"Yeah, and after everything the Marshal said about her at his party, ya think he woulda tried hard to find her." Grimes added.

They all thought a moment then Halligan continued, "maybe he did find her but she was married to Dr. Chapman. Not much he could do about it then."

Burke pushed his hat back a little on his head, "just doesn't figure."

"What doesn't?"

"That she'd leave the Marshal for Dr. Chapman."

Grimes took a sip of his beer then spoke, "Howie told me that Miss Kitty said the Marshal didn't want any kids so she had to find a man who did."

"That's another thing that don't figure." Burke asked both men, "did you ever know Miss Kitty to show enough interest in children that she'd want to go and have four?"

Halligan dismissed Burke with a wave of his hand, "ah…women change their minds all the time."

"Yeah, Burke, maybe she wanted more in life then just runnin' a saloon."

"Well gentlemen…I don't buy it."

"What are you sayin' Burke? You don't think the children are hers?"

"Of course not Halligan…I think the children are hers…I'm just not sure they're Dr. Chapman's."

Grimes dismissed Burke's idea with his hand, "oh…that's ridiculous Burke. I don't know much about Dr. Chapman but I'm sure he wouldn't be ownin' up to any kids if they weren't his."

"Then why didn't they name their first born son John then Grimes? The oldest boy's name is Matthew…now why do ya think that is?"

"Because my husband doesn't believe in naming children after him."

The three men straightened, turned toward the voice, and took their hats off. In unison they replied, "afternoon Miss Kitty."

Kitty moved closer to Burke, "not that I owe you or anyone else any explanations Burke but my husband and I agreed on the name Matthew. You might not believe this but my husband thinks very highly of Matt Dillon and knowing my long history with him thought it quite appropriate." Kitty started to leave then turned back to him. "Next time Burke come and talk to me if you have any doubts about the validity of my marriage or my children's lineage. I have no problem discussing that with you instead of you sullying my name and that of my husband's in a saloon." Kitty quickly turned on her heels and headed for the door.

The three men watched her leave the saloon as the eyes of the rest of the patrons were on Burke. Halligan looked over at the freight office manager, "see I told ya Burke."

Nathan Burke looked like a man who was severely reprimanded, "shut up Halligan and drink ya beer."

Kitty walked through the batwing doors and stood for a moment on the boardwalk outside the saloon. She took a deep breath and thought _leave it to Burke to stir up trouble_. Hoping she had left no doubt who the children belonged to in the minds of the townspeople in the saloon, her thoughts were interrupted by a loud jangle of spurs coming toward her. "Miss Kitty….Miss Kitty…"

"What is it Festus?"

"It's Doc…ya gotta come quick."

Kitty swiftly turned on her heels and hurried closely behind Festus. Thinking the worse she rushed into the back bedroom where John and Dr. Maguire stood. Her eyes met John's and then she turned to see Doc sitting up glaring as he pointed at Festus. "Now why'd ya have to bring him back?"

"Doc!" She sat on the side of the bed and gave him a big hug and kiss.

"Now this is more like it." He squeezed Kitty tight.

"Take it easy Doc…save some of that for your honeymoon."

"My honeymoon is none of your concern, young lady." Kitty chuckled, "but I am touched by your obvious concern for my well being that you would come all this way to see me. John tells me that the children are with you."

"We had to Doc; Maggie had gone to Biloxi to meet her sister. Dr. Reilly was hoping he would have heard from them but as of yesterday still no word."

"Dr. Reilly?"

"Yes, her sister works for the doctor."

"I hope nothing happened to her." Doc tried to get up, "I have to get down there."

Kitty pushed him lightly back down on the pillow, "you will do no such thing. You're going to rest until the two fine doctors behind me tell you it's all right for you to be walking around." Doc made a face, "listen here you, she was looking forward to seeing her sister again and I'm sure they are enjoying their time together. We'll probably get home the same time she does."

"Yeah, that's if these two charlatans," Doc pointed in the doctors direction, "will let me out any time soon."

Dr. Maguire moved closer, "you know Galen if you manage to be a little more complimentary toward Dr. Chapman and myself we may be persuaded to discharge you sooner then we had originally planned. Of course, if you continue to take the low road…" a slight smile ran across Dr. Maguire's face.

"Listen you young pup…I can diagnose and release myself if it comes to it. I don't need any permission from you."

Dr. Maguire chuckled, "I guess you're not acquainted with the phrase physician heal thyself?"

Festus moved to the other side of the bed, "Doc… maybe ya aut ta listen ta the doctor here."

Doc's head snapped in Festus' direction, "and I certainly don't need any advice from you!"

Dr. Maguire turned back toward John, "what'd ya say doctor…should we release him?"

John moved forward and stood behind Kitty, "not in this agitated state." He put his hands on Kitty's shoulders, "I was hoping to run a few more tests first."

"John, I don't need you pinching and prodding me further. You've probably been having the time of your life while I was unconscious."

John smiled, "we only did what we thought was in your best interest Galen."

"My best interests will be served when I'm back on that train and seeing my lovely Margaret again. That's all I really need."

"Doc, I don't want anything to happen to you while we're returning home so if you have to stay here awhile longer then I think you ought to stay." Kitty laid her hand on his arm.

Doc looked down and took a deep breath, "I was always a sucker for a beautiful face." He looked up at the doctors, "OK…I'll listen to my doctors," Kitty smiled, "but within reason!" She leaned over and kissed him, "now…I want everyone out of here. I've had enough of being the main attraction for one day." As they all started to file out Doc signaled to Festus, "Festus…I want to talk with you." They all looked at Festus as he looked surprised by the request. Dr. Maguire shut the door behind them as Festus made his way over to the chair beside the bed. "What did you find out about Matt?"

"Nary a thing Doc." Festus began to flail his arms, "golly bill Doc it's like ol' Matthew just fell off the face of the earth. I tolt Miss Kitty that I be goin' out again as soon as I knowd ya was all right but Doc I gotta tell ya it's like Matthew don't wanna' be found."

Doc shook his head, "now…Festus…I can't believe that…no…I refuse to believe that."

"I don't wanna' believe it neither Doc but that justin' the ways it looks."

Doc folded his arms across his chest, "there's got to be some explanation for it that's all. Matt's done some crazy things in his time but leaving Kitty and his children…for good…not possible I tell you…just not possible."

"Doc…I a gonna' keep on a lookin' I can ga-ron-tee ya that but…"

Doc looked over at Festus, "but what?"

"What ifn' I find Matthew and he don't wanna' come home?"

Doc looked down, "I don't want to think about that Festus because I know that just can't be true. I just can't see Matt hurting Kitty like that…no sir…I just can't."

The two men sat silent for a moment then Festus spoke, "least wise Miss Kitty has Dr. Chapman. He be awful good to her Doc."

Doc nodded in agreement, "he's a good man Festus but he's no Matt and that's what Kitty needs to make her life right again…where the heck is he anyway?"

"New Orleans…next and last stop…New Orleans." The conductor's bellowing jolted Matt awake. "New Orleans…last stop." Matt stretched and slowly moved his stiff body to ready himself for departure. He didn't want to let go of the dream he was awaken from but having the chance to put his seduction plan into practice would more than make up for it. He grabbed his bags and made his way down the corridor to the exit. When he stepped off the train dusk was beginning to make its way across the sky. He stopped for a moment on the platform and took a deep breath as he looked around the train depot and noted that very little had changed since he left. He would be the happiest man in the world if he found that very little had changed at home too. He waved off the coach and opted to walk home hoping the nervousness he felt since Denver would just about be gone. He knew any words he intended to say would be inadequate and he hoped when he wrapped his arms around her she would never want to let him go. He was a block away when he started finding it hard to breathe as doubts crept into his mind. Was she going to be as welcoming as Little Fawn had convinced him she would be or would he find he didn't have a place in her life? He stood for a moment in front of the building he once called home then he walked up the path with a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. He reached in his pocket for the key, took a deep breath, and turned it in the lock. He opened the inside front door and stood for a moment in the foyer in silence. "Kitty?...Maggie?" He waited a few beats for a response then walked around the first floor putting on lights as he went. He entered the kitchen and as he turned on the lamp he noticed a piece of paper on one of the cabinets. He turned the light toward the paper and took it down from its perch. "_Maggie…John and I have taken the children away for awhile . Sorry if this seems quite sudden but we needed to get away. I hope your stay with your sister was all you were hoping for and I can hardly wait to hear all about it. See you soon, Kitty"_

He stood staring at the note reading and re-reading the words as his worse fears were realized. Finally he looked up and walked over to the sideboard and took out a full bottle of bourbon. He grabbed a tumbler from the shelf and poured himself a generous drink. Matt then made his way to the overstuffed chair and continued to sip the liquid. He held onto the note and continued to blankly stare at the paper as one phrase played over and over in his head. "_John and I have taken the children away."_ He threw down the rest of the drink then stood to refill the glass with the note clutched tightly in his hand. He grabbed the bottle and returned to the chair and placed the bottle on the end table. He poured another drink as he continued to stare at the note, _"John and I have taken the children away."_ His children…they took his children. He threw down the rest of the liquor and quickly filled the tumbler again. The alcohol was beginning to take effect but Matt didn't care he wanted to feel numb. He knew he had no one but himself to blame but it stunned him to think that Kitty could so easily move on with her life. The more his alcohol induced mind raced it became very clear why no one had come searching for him, the note was all the evidence he needed. _"John and I have taken the children away."_ He grabbed at the bottle and poured what little was left into his glass. He rubbed his eyes as the combination of lack of sleep and drinking was making him very drowsy. He stood and stumbled back toward the chair. He steadied himself before grabbing the tumbler and heading for the stairs. He slowly made his way to the second floor and the master bedroom. He laid the glass and the note on the end table and began to undress. Standing naked and weaving in front of his dresser he found the silk pajama bottoms Kitty had given him and threw them on. He finished the remaining liquid in the glass and grabbed the note again clutching it tightly in his hand. He lay staring up at the ceiling as the room spun slowly. He thought turning on his side might help but staring at the empty space only made his heart ache more. He grabbed at her pillow hoping in some way to feel close to her again and the faint trace of rose water lingering in the fabric soothed him into a fitful night's sleep. As he clutched the pillow tighter there was no doubt in his mind that he had lost everything.


	24. It Will Be Good To Get Home

Doc wasn't sure whether his impatience lie with the healing process or with his doctor's extreme caution but the confinement was beginning to drive him mad and he was going to do something about it. As he made an attempt to get out of bed Festus walked into the back room. He ran to help Doc stand, "What'd think you're doing?"

"I'm just a tryin' ta help ya walk there Doc…that's all I was doin'."

"Yeah…well…your help I don't need." He pushed Festus' hand away, "now…get out of my way!"

Festus stepped back and mumbled, "ornery ole scudder," as he watched Doc take his first step. Feeling lightheaded Doc staggered forward but before he hit the floor Festus grabbed him around the waist. "Now there ya go Doc…I tolt ya ya needed help. Hold on now I'll bring ya back ta bed." Doc gave in to Festus' direction as he guided him toward the mattress. "As I was sayin' Doc I don't mind comin' here and helpin' ya till ya legs stop wobblin' every which a way but ifn' ya want ta be stubborn like my mule out yonder…"

"Oh…hush up." Doc leaned his back up against the pillows. He looked at Festus' concerned face and softened. "I'm sorry that I yelled at you Festus. I guess I'm not very good at accepting help lately."

Before Festus could reply Matthew came running through the door, "Pop Pop!" He jumped on the bed and hugged Doc. "I missed you Pop Pop."

"Well…not as much as I missed you by golly!"

"Are you coming home with us?"

Doc rustled Matthew's hair, "you bet I am."

Kitty entered the room with the rest of the children, "Matthew…your Pop Pop is just getting better…come off the bed."

Doc held the boy from leaving, "Kitty, I would love it if the rest of the children could get up here with Matthew."

Kitty shrugged, "all right."

The children climbed up and he hugged and kissed them. As he talked to his grandchildren he realized that he was the luckiest man in the world. Soon he would be back in New Orleans to live out the rest of his life with Maggie and his good friends…now if they only could find Matt.

When they returned to their hotel room after dinner John helped the children get ready for bed. Kitty had been very quiet during the meal and John thought she would appreciate some time alone. She stood staring out the hotel window when John came up behind her, "well…the children are all asleep." Kitty jumped, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you."

She turned toward him and smiled, "I guess I was in my own little world."

He took her by the arms, "are you all right? You've been a little restless the last couple of days."

"I don't know John. It could be that this town just brings back so many memories." Kitty chuckled, "I might not have had Matt all the time but at least I had him."

"I can't believe you would want to go back to that time in your life."

"If it meant holding him again I would in a heartbeat." John could see the tears welling in her eyes, "I just can't stop thinking about him John. Even after all this time I wish I could but I can't."

He pulled her into a comforting hug wishing there was something he could do to take the hurt away. "Kitty, who says you have to stop thinking about him? Kitty looked up at John tears spilling from her eyes. He gently wiped them away and smiled. "Now why don't you try and get some rest."

Kitty shook her head, "I'm not tired John. I think I'm going to check in on Doc. Will you stay here with the children?"

He smiled, "of course I will. Take all the time you need." As she opened the door she turned back to John and smiled.

Kitty walked into the doctor's office and headed for the back room. She peered around the door jam and noticed Doc was reading. "Anything good?"

He closed the book and placed it next to him on the bed, "no, just a medical book." Doc patted the bed giving her room to sit. She sat down and Doc noticed how tired she looked. He reached over and took her hand, "you look tired, haven't you been sleeping well?"

She shook her head, "no…not really. I keep thinking about that dream I had some time ago when I felt so strongly that Matt was dead. I'm wondering now if maybe the dream was his way of saying goodbye."

She tried hard not to cry but the tears came. Doc ran his thumb across the back of her hand, "honey...it was an unconscionable thing that fella did but I don't want you to start believing now that Matt is dead and you're to blame." Kitty began to speak but Doc raised his hand to stop her. "I'm not sure where he is but the one thing I'm positive of is he's not dead."

"Doc, how can you be so sure?"

"Well…just because I know that's all…and I think you know too.

She shook her head, "it just doesn't make sense then Doc. If he is alive then why wouldn't he want to come home?"

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "my opinion is he might be afraid to come home."

Kitty dabbed at her eyes, "why would he be afraid to come home?"

"Cause he's a damn fool…and worse…a stubborn one!" Doc thought a moment, "If we say that it was Caleb's grave Festus found then I think it's safe to assume he might have been sick when Matt arrived and, being the person I think both of us know Matt is, he stayed with him until he died. Now suppose Caleb didn't die right away but it took…oh…a year or so."

"I don't follow you Doc."

"After Matt buries Caleb he's finally given some time to think about the length of time he's been away and he realizes…well…he wonders what he might find when he comes home," Doc tugged on his ear, "he may be of the opinion you've given up on finding him and moved on with your life."

"Oh…Doc…don't be ridiculous…Matt would never think that!"

"Oh…wouldn't he? Clearly young lady you have a very different view of Matt Dillon than I do. When it came to you he was the most insecure man I have ever known."

"Insecure?" Kitty's face displayed disbelief, "Doc, are we talking about the same man?"

Doc nodded, "have you forgotten how it was when we were in Dodge?" Doc pointed a finger at Kitty, "well then I'll tell you…Matt had you on his terms. He saw you when he could and you were accepting of that. Oh sure…there were times he would disappoint you and you'd go away for awhile but he knew you would always come home." Doc chuckled, "every time you were away he was like a little lost boy until you returned."

Kitty waved her hand to dismiss Doc's theory, "You're exaggerating Curly just to make me feel better."

Doc raised his hands in resignation, "there's not much I can do if you refuse to believe my observations." Doc took a deep breath, "Kitty, many people saw Matt as larger than life, and in a way he was, but when it came to you he had the same fears and self doubts as any other man."

"Are you trying to say he doubted my love for him?"

Doc shook his head, "No, honey, I'm not. What I'm trying to say is," Doc mulled over his thought, "I know he didn't show it all the time but you are Matt's whole world and I don't think he could take it if you weren't waiting for him."

"Doc…now you're being absurd. Matt knows I would wait for him forever."

"Honey, that's what I've been trying to tell you. He doesn't know that. He views you as a strong, capable, independent woman who has a mind of her own. When we were in Dodge you had no other responsibilities other than the Long Branch and you. Now you have four very small children who need a father and he might be of the opinion you just don't have the patience any longer to wait for him like you use to."

"Uh uh Doc…oh no…I know Matt…better than anyone…and he would never think that I would give up on him and find another man to be a father to his children. Besides, I have no desire to go looking for another man for any reason."

"Who said anything about looking?" Kitty looked puzzled, "From where I sit, John is filling that role admirably if you ask me."

Kitty swatted at Doc's arm, "well…no one asked you."

"Kitty you can't deny that John cares deeply for you and for your children. They think the world of him and I think you do too."

"He's been very good to me and the children Doc and he has helped me through a lot these past few years but he isn't Matt."

"I know that and John knows that too but that hasn't stopped him from loving you and being there for you."

Kitty took a deep breath, "I just wish Matt would come home so we can straighten all this out."

Doc patted her hand, "I do too honey…I do too."

The bright sun filled the room and the heat and humidity made him feel like he was swimming in his own sweat but Matt wasn't going to move his body one inch. His head pounded every time he tired to lift it off the pillow, he could barely open his eyes, and he was pretty sure the room was still spinning although he thought a lot less than before. He wasn't clear on what possessed him to down a full bottle of bourbon in so short a period of time but he was sure when his mind was a little less hazy it would come to him.

After observing Kitty's mood the last few days John worried that if they didn't leave Dodge soon her frame of mind would continue to spiral downward. Every step she took, every shop she went in, every place they went to eat brought back memories of Matt and those recollections were beginning to take their toll. Doc was a few days off at best from traveling and as hard as he tried to think of ways to get Kitty home sooner it just wasn't possible. Her eyes no longer sparkled, her smile shallow, and her mind a million miles away. He wished there was something he could do but short of bringing Matt back home there was nothing. He quietly walked up behind her and slowly wrapped his arms around her waist. "Maybe you should get some sleep Kitty; you've been standing at this window for some time now you must be tired...come on why don't you lie down?"

She shook her head, "I'm not tired John…you go ahead."

He held her tighter, "who's the doctor here?"

She turned and smiled, "you are."

"Well…now that we agree on that what'd you say? Bed?"

"Oh…what's the use…I'm only going to lie there thinking all night."

"What if I hold you…would that help?"

"I'll only keep you awake John."

"I can't think of a better reason to stay up all night." He put his fingers under her chin, "it might make you feel better."

She nodded, "OK." He sat with his back against the headboard as she nestled against his chest and held him tight. He wrapped his arms around her and ran his hand up and down her back. Before long John heard Kitty's soft snore and he smiled. He could certainly get used to this nightly ritual and then maybe one night…he looked down at the woman he loved and shook his head.

Night had fallen on New Orleans and the heat of the day was replaced by a gentle northern breeze. Matt could feel the air cooling down his clammy skin and he was thankful for the respite. He opened his eyes to darkness and continually rubbed his blue orbs to focus. His head had stopped its incessant pounding and he felt well enough to sit up against the headboard. He took a couple of deep breaths before he swung his long legs off the bed and onto the floor. He stood slowly, turned on the lamp, and went to pour water into the tub. He took a couple of powders Doc had left, and then immersed his long, hung over, body into the hot water. It felt so good to be in their tub again, in their home again, and the memories of their time together flooded his mind. He refused to allow any other thoughts to ruin this moment only focusing on what it would be like if Kitty was there. As the water turned tepid he left to shave, patted on the cologne she had given him, pulled on his silk pajama bottoms, and went back to bed. He lay in silence listening intently for the door to open until sleep took him.

John woke first and although his neck was a little stiff he had never felt better in his life. He watched her sleep for awhile as his mind envisioned how life would be if she was his wife. Her stirring broke him from his reverie as she looked up at him with sleepy eyes. "What time is it?"

"Half past eight."

She started to get up, "I have to get the children…"

He softly lay her head back down on his chest, "the children are fine. They'll let us know when they're awake. Just relax for a few minutes more."

Kitty stretched and yawned, "I went out like a light last night."

John continued to rub her back, "you were very tired."

She shook her head in agreement, "yes, I was." Then she looked up at him, "you certainly managed to put me to sleep quickly."

John chuckled, "well don't let that get around…it'll ruin my chances with the ladies."

Kitty laughed as she swatted his chest, "you know what I mean."

John smiled, "I do. I'm just glad you felt comfortable enough in my arms to sleep through the night."

She patted his chest, "there's only one other man who has ever made me feel this comfortable."

John took her hand and kissed it, "then I consider that quite the compliment."

She looked up into his eyes and smiled as she ran her fingers down his face. John swallowed hard as he brought his lips to meet hers. She pulled him closer, their kiss deepening as he positioned her body underneath his. All reasoning was gone replaced only by a natural instinct to love a woman he so desperately needed. As his hand worked its way up the side of her body shots rang out in the alley. Kitty jumped out of bed and ran into the next room to comfort the children as John followed closely behind. "What was that Mommy?"

"Oh…just someone taking target practice." She ran her hand over Matthew's hair, "that's all…nothing to worry about."

John ran his hand down her back, "why don't I go down and check if they've finished the competition."

Without looking up Kitty answered. "Thanks John."

John went into the next room to change and was surprised when Kitty came up behind him. "John, I want to apologize for my behavior before."

John smiled as he took her by the arms, "you have nothing to apologize for."

"Well…it's not right that I put you through this. You have been so good to me putting up with all my moods and my constant chatter about Matt. I don't have the right to use you just so I can feel loved again."

"Kitty you could never use me. I know how much you miss and need Matt. I have been aware of that since the first day we met but I'm here and I will always be here because I want to be. Nothing is ever going to chance that and I will give you as little or as much love as you need."

"That's not being fair to you John."

"Oh…my lady…life is not fair sometimes but what we do with it when we have it is what counts. I have never regretted one day I've spent with you nor will I ever in the future. We're here together now and that's all I really care about." He kissed her forehead, "now why don't you let me dress and I'll find out what happened downstairs…then we'll go have breakfast…OK?"

Kitty shook her head and smiled, "be careful." She touched his face. "Thanks John."

He smiled, "you better go take care of the children. I'll be up in a little while." He watched her walk into the next room as she closed the door behind her. He shook his head and then began to change.

It had been three days since Matt had come home. He carried Kitty's note in his shirt pocket reading it now and again trying to find some clue as to where they may have gone. He walked through their bedroom door out onto the veranda and sat in one of the rockers. _Awhile…what does awhile mean anyway_? _Why couldn't she have dated the note or told Maggie where she was? Did they go on vacation? No, she said it was sudden. Was she sick…one of the children? No, she probably would have said so in the note." _He ran his fingers through his hair_. "Why was she so vague? _He stood and anxiously looked down the road in both directions hoping that he would see some sign of his family. _Why couldn't she have said where they were…how long they were going to be? Would it have killed her to be more precise? _He sat back down and took a deep breath as he returned the note to his pocket.

Dr. Maguire walked through the batwing doors and noticed Kitty and John sitting at the back table. He smiled as he walked in their direction. "Well now…who's minding the children?"

Kitty smiled, "Their Uncle Festus. They love to listen to his stories and he finally has an audience that does. It all works out."

Dr. Maguire laughed. "He does have a colorful family history…I will admit."

John pointed to his drink. "Can we get you a drink Terry?"

"Thank you John but," he pointed toward the bar, "I'll go get my own."

Kitty motioned toward the chair, "nonsense…Ned will bring you a drink." She waved in the direction of the bartender as he approached their table, "Ned…can we have a drink for the good doctor?"

"Right away Miss Kitty."

Dr. Maguire pulled the chair out and sat down. "John was telling me that Doc is doing very well…better than both of you had originally thought."

Ned put the drink in front of the doctor, "thank you," he turned back to Kitty and John. "Yes, I know I have been surprised by his progress."

"So when do you think he can travel?"

"Oh…I'd say another week should do it. Would you concur…John?"

John nodded in agreement, "there are a few more tests I'd like him to complete but I think he should be ready to go home within that time."

Kitty sighed. "It will be so good to get home."

"Well…I for one will miss all of you. It has been a real pleasure getting to know all of Galen's friends."

Kitty smiled, "we are just so thankful that you are here and giving him the opportunity to retire."

"In a short period of time I have experienced firsthand how taxing this job can be. Galen deserves this retirement…I will miss him…but he has earned it." Dr. Maguire raised his glass in a toast. "To Galen…I have never known a finer gentlemen or a better doctor." They all clicked glasses and sipped their drinks.

Another night had fallen over New Orleans and Matt was finishing another lonely meal. The solitude had given him too much time to think and what he thought impossible when he first arrived was now becoming his reality. He could have settled his doubt by walking over to the restaurant and having a conversation with Festus but he didn't want to put his good friend in the position to have to tell him that Kitty had moved on and was in love with John. He sat on the sofa reading the paper but the words were all a blur. He found it hard to concentrate and knew nothing would be resolved until either Kitty came home or he went to speak with Festus. He laid the paper next to him and stood to leave. He took a long walk that night still not sure if he wanted to know what had gone on while he was away. He reached the corner of Royal and St. Louis and stood for a moment unable to move as _**Russell's**_ came into sight. He watched the steady stream of patrons for awhile and it made him smile to know that the business was still going strong. Oddly enough he took pride in that now and wished he had been more willing to recognize that fact many years ago. The longer he stood there the more uncertain he became. _What if Kitty and John were together? What if the children thought John was their father? Do I have the right to turn their lives upside down? _Eventually he turned down the street and walked back home.

She slid in under the blanket and laid her head on his shoulder. He smiled as he ran his hand up and down her back but instead of sleep she began to kiss his bare chest. He picked her head up and smiled as his lips brushed against hers a few times before he slowly deepened the kiss. His lips gently caressed her neck as his hand softly stroked her into submission. Every moan made him linger, every plea of want was ignored, knowing in the end she would feel like she had never felt before. As he watched her naked body move more intently and her cries reached a crescendo, he took her for his own.

"Nooooo," Matt screamed as he sat up in bed. It took him awhile to catch his breath as the vision of John and Kitty together slowly dissipated from his mind. He fell back on the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. _Kitty…where are you?_

The old friends stood down at the depot waiting for the train. Doc had never looked so good but Festus was finding ways to aggravate him. "Festus…leave Doc alone. Come over here and sit with me."

"No…now Kitty…I need this ya see. Because if I can withstand his constant idiocy then I know I will live a very long life.

Festus scrunched up his face as he made his way over to Kitty, "ya ole scamp."

He sat down next to her, "Festus we're all a little anxious to be on our way. I can hardly wait until we get home too."

"Miss Kitty…I don't think I'll be a goin' home wit ya."

"I got a ticket for you Festus. Why aren't you coming home with us?"

"Oh…I be a goin' ta Colarayda wit ya but then I wantta go take a look see fer ol' Matthew."

Kitty smiled, "I appreciate it Festus but I really think you should be home for Doc's wedding."

Festus flailed his arm, "oh that ole scudder won't even knowd ifn' I be there or not."

"Festus…now…you know that's not true."

"But…"

"Festus they'll be no buts about it. Once Doc and Maggie are married you can start out again…but I'm hoping you won't need to."

"What'd ya mean Miss Kitty?"

"This is probably just wishful thinking on my part but maybe we'll find Matt home when we get there."

"Ya thinkin' that could be where he's at?"

"I don't want to get my hopes up but I have to hold on to something Festus." She grabbed his arm, "let's not make any plans till we get home…OK?"

"Matthew would sure be a sight fer these ol' eyeballs."

"Mine too Festus…mine too."

In the distance they could hear the train whistle as it approached Dodge. Kitty and John gathered the children and the luggage as they watched the train enter the depot. Festus, Doc, and John said their goodbyes then boarded the train with the children as Kitty hugged Dr. Maguire. "Thank you for everything doctor."

"You're most welcome Kitty…safe trip home."

She turned to Hannah, "thank you for your hospitality Hannah and our little chats. I'm going to miss them."

"I'm going to miss them too. Take care of yourself Kitty."

"You too." The two women embraced.

She made her way over to Newly and kissed him on the cheek, "it was so good seeing you again Newly and I hope that you'll be able to come down for Doc's wedding."

"Wild horses couldn't keep me away ma'am."

"We'll be in touch." She hugged him and he helped her up the stairs. She waved back at their three friends and disappeared into the car. John stood when she entered and gave her the inside seat. After a few tugs the train glided down the track and headed west.

Just as he had on their way to Dodge, Matthew stared out the window. He was amazed at the vast acres of land whizzing passed his eyes. "Matthew, honey, here's your sandwich." He reached back to take the food from his mother's hand but his eyes never left the window. Kitty smiled as she watched her son surveying the prairie eating in his cowboy hat and boots, if only Matt could see him now. She looked down to take a moment to compose herself before dispensing the rest of the basket's contents to her family. Matthew continued to watch until dark…disappointed again that he didn't see any sign of his father.

Kitty looked down at Joseph sleeping peacefully in her arms. She absentmindedly ran her hand over his hair and her thoughts drifted to Matt. How surprised was he going to be to know that he had two more sons? She was deep in her thoughts when John sat down offering her a cup of coffee. She shook her head, "I'm all right John."

"You've been pretty quiet…something on your mind?"

"The usual."

John smiled, "Matt?"

She nodded, "I was thinking how wonderful it would be if he was home when we got there."

John put his arm around the back of the seat, "it could happen you know."

Kitty continued to stroke her child's hair, "I suppose." She chuckled, "although knowing odds the way I do I would certainly not bet on that hand." She looked down at Joseph and sighed. "He doesn't know his father and he may never get to know him…how sad."

He pulled her toward him, "let's not give up hope."

She looked over at him and smiled, "I don't think I thanked you for everything you did for us in Dodge."

He returned the smile, "I didn't do anything Kitty."

"Well…except watch the children practically night and day."

"What's a father for?" He smiled.

"That's another thing…I had to put you in a very awkward position just to keep my children safe."

"Kitty, their safety was just as important to me as it was to you. I don't know what I would do if something ever happened to you or them."

She raised her hand and cupped his cheek, "I feel the same way about you John."

They stared into each other's eyes for a moment, "why don't you try and get some rest." He gently moved her head on his shoulder and kissed her hair.

She yawned. "Maybe I could catch a few winks."

"Here…let me take Joseph."

She handed her son over to John and then put her head back on his shoulder and closed her eyes. He looked down at the boy then back at his mother and thought…if only. Doc had turned to witness the cozy scene behind him and ran his hand over his moustache. As he turned forward he once again thought how foolish a man Matt Dillon was.

The morning was like all the rest the past two weeks…living in an empty house. For so many years he believed living alone was the only way a man should live but then along came Kitty and she changed all that. Now he was lost without his family; he just hoped his family felt the same about him. It had jolted him to find their wedding picture in the trash container by the nightstand so he restored it to a prominent place by the bed. He clung to the fact that his dresser was still full of his clothes but he couldn't be certain they weren't the next things to go. At least he hadn't found any signs of John living there but after this trip that could all change. He had placed the pictures of Matthew and Katie he found on Kitty's dresser next to the wedding photo. Matthew was certainly growing into a handsome young man and Katie was as beautiful as her mother. How he wished they would come home so he could hold them. Every night after dinner he would sit staring at the front door wondering what their reaction would be if they saw him sitting there. Could he really bear it if he saw disappointment in their faces? He sat for hours thinking and when his eyes became heavy he would climb the stairs slowly and change for bed. As he grabbed her pillow he noticed that her scent was all but gone now and if his dreams the past few nights were any indication she was lost to him too.

They were almost home and Kitty dreamed of taking a long relaxing bath and slipping between the soft cotton sheets on a good mattress and drifting off to an uninterrupted sleep. She was looking forward to seeing Maggie again and watching her joy when she saw Doc and knew he was there to stay. She was looking forward to hearing about her time with her sister and helping her plan the wedding. She just hoped the planning would occupy enough of her time to take her mind off Matt. She had more than one dream while in Dodge about coming home, climbing the stairs, and finding him lying in their bed. Those scenes played over and over in her head and the feel of his large calloused hand running up and down the length of her body felt so wonderful. She could feel her face flush and hoped no one in her traveling party noticed. Matthew got on his knees and turned toward his mother from the seat in front of her. "Mommy, are we almost home?"

"Almost."

"I liked Dodge but I want to be in my own bed again. You Mommy?"

Kitty nodded, "it will be nice especially if all our dreams come true." Matthew's face looked puzzled as he tried to find the meaning in his mother's words. He finally shrugged and sat back down in his seat.

Matt woke and took a long relaxing soak in the tub. If this was going to be his last bath at home he was going to enjoy it fully. Between the dreams of John making love to his wife, and the fear that his arrival would only complicate the lives of his family, he all but had decided that his best course of action was to leave. He owed her that much for walking out and disappearing for three years. He knew the one thing that would tear his heart apart would be seeing Kitty happy and knowing he wasn't the reason. In all the years they were together her happiness was the only thing that mattered to him. He loved her enough to let her go and live her life even if that would mean the man he was would cease to exist. He was nothing without her and it took him too many years to finally come to this realization. He slowly dressed, lay back down on the bed, and with hands behind his head stared up at the ceiling.

They where only a few hours outside of New Orleans when Doc sat down next to Kitty. "You've been pretty quiet this trip."

"I've got a lot on my mind."

"Oh…I'm sure you have," he tugged on his ear, "with my wedding coming up and all."

Kitty smiled, "how did you know that was what I was thinking about?"

Doc put his arm around the back of the seat, "well what else could possibly be more important than that? It's going to be the social event of the year…maybe even the century!"

"Not to mention you will be the second confirmed bachelor from Dodge that will take the plunge into wedded bliss…hope you decide to stay though Doc."

He rubbed her back, "honey…Matt was a fool to leave and I will never give up hope that one day I'll be able to tell him so." Doc shook his head, "oh boy…how I want to tell him so."

"Thanks Curly." She gave him a kiss on the cheek, "there are nights I think he's found his true happiness somewhere in those mountains and although I can't understand it, it makes me feel good that he has finally found some peace. I just wish he would send me a message even if it was to tell me he was never coming home again at least I would know. Then I could stop all this hoping and wishing and dreaming." Kitty looked down, "it would hurt so very much but at least I'd know and I could move on with my life…maybe even one day be able to love again."

Doc rubbed his moustache and stared straight ahead. He had no response but it killed him to see the pain she was in. He patted her back and cursed the decision Matt had made. Then he looked over at John holding Katie reading to her from one of her favorite books. He was one of the finest gentlemen Doc had ever known. He looked back at the woman blankly staring into space and knew if that time came she would be in very good hands.

Matt stuffed his bag with as many clothes as he could, she would just have to throw out the rest. He took their wedding picture off the nightstand and laid it on top before he fastened the bag. Although he would never forget that day as long as he lived looking at them together would help him through the solitude. He glanced over at the pictures of his children, unfastened his bag, and laid them on top. He took a deep breath, grabbed both bags, and slowly walked down the front stairs. He stood for awhile still not sure his decision was the right one but before he allowed any change of heart he locked the door and left. He closed the front gate and stared back at the building as if to sear the memory in his mind then he slowly walked down the street. When the house was no longer in sight he forged his way to the train station. As he passed Royal Street he thought he'd make one last attempt to see Festus but just as quickly thought better of it. He bought his ticket then sat on the bench with his thoughts. Eventually the train arrived in the station and he watched the people board but he was unable to move. "Last boarding call for Denver…Denver…last call." He ran his hands over his face then he heard a voice call out, "hey mister…don't you have a ticket for the Denver train?" Matt looked up, "you better get a move on…last call ya know."

Matt smiled and stood as he grabbed his bags, "would I be able to take another train?"

"Just remember something ya needed to do?"

Matt nodded, "might say that."

"When ya want ta go then?"

"Not sure yet."

The ticket agent gave Matt an annoyed face and sighed, "well…it's against policy," he stared at Matt, "all right…when ya do make up your mind just bring the ticket back and I'll exchange it."

"Much obliged." Matt stood in front of the station for a moment without a plan. He knew he couldn't return home for the memories would tug at his heart and make rational decision making impossible. He needed a place to think and weigh all his options. He eventually found a bench in Lafayette Park and settled in.

The setting sun was slightly above the horizon when the coach pulled in front of the Dillon home. Matthew and Katie ran to the front door as the rest of the party slowly made their way down the path. As John opened the front doors Maggie hurried down the hall to greet her friends. She looked at all the luggage coming through the front door and a look of puzzlement came over her face, "Miss Kitty did you take a…," then she saw Doc, "oh my goodness Galen," she hugged and kissed the doctor.

He looked at Maggie and smiled, "this is all the medicine I need."

"Medicine? Galen what medicine?"

He pulled her close, "now…now…my dear there's plenty of time to talk…right now I just want to hold you."

The children ran up to their rooms and Maggie noticed the cowboy hat and boots on Matthew. She broke from Doc's embrace. "I was a little concerned when I didn't find anyone home. Did you take a trip?"

Kitty nodded, "We did. I know my note was not very specific but I figured you would at least know we were gone."

"What note?"

"The note I left on the kitchen cabinet."

"Miss Kitty I just started a pot of coffee and I didn't see any note in the kitchen."

Kitty made her way into the kitchen with Maggie in tow. She pointed to the place on the cabinet, "I left it right there." She looked around the counter, floor, even the library room area. "That's strange." She shrugged her shoulders, "well…we did take a trip but I think Doc would like to tell you all about it when you two are alone."

Doc tugged at his ear, "the alone part sounds good to me," he put his arm around Maggie's waist.

Maggie smiled at Doc, "the coffee should almost be ready…"

John put his hand up, "none for me Maggie thanks. I better be checking in at the hospital and letting them know I'm home."

Kitty turned toward him, "here I'll walk out with you." Kitty looped her arm in John's as they made their way outside to the porch. They were bathed in the soft glow of the light from the house as they faced each other, "John…thank you so much for everything. I know I said this before but I don't know what I would have done without you on this trip."

He ran his hand up and down her arm, "it was my pleasure. In fact, I rather enjoyed fatherhood and being someone's husband. It was a new experience for me."

"Well…I happen to think you'd be great in both areas. There's no denying my children love you."

"Your children are very easy to love but I think my technique with women needs a little work though."

Kitty looked confused, "what do you mean?"

"It seems to me I'm so stimulating that women fall to sleep the minute they lie in my arms."

Kitty laughed as she put her hands on his chest, "oh John."

He ran his hands up and down her arms and smiled, "I love to hear you laugh."

She laid her head on his chest, "I know I wasn't the greatest company on this trip."

He kissed the top of her head, "I have no complaints."

They stood in each other's embrace for a moment, "I probably should be going. I'll see you tomorrow." He lifted her chin and gently bushed his lips against hers. Their innocent kiss deepened until John slowly moved away. "Now I know I should be going." He kissed her forehead and made his way down the path. Kitty smiled as she watched him leave. They gave each other a final wave and once he was no longer in sight she went inside.

Maggie was pouring Doc a cup of coffee when Kitty came back into the kitchen. "Do you still want a cup Miss Kitty?"

"I probably shouldn't but I will." She looked up at the ceiling, "maybe I should check in on the children first."

"Galen and I were just about to go to bed we don't mind looking in on them. I think you should take a nice hot bath and go to bed…you look exhausted."

Kitty smiled, "I am pretty tired…you sure you don't mind tucking the children in?"

"No, now, you just go upstairs and relax. We'll lock up then we'll tuck the children in for the night."

Kitty walked over and hugged her two good friends, "well…good night then. See you in the morning." In unison they replied, "night."

Kitty slowly made her way to the second floor. She couldn't remember a time when she felt so exhausted. She turned on the light and walked into the bathing area and began to undress. She climbed into the scented tub and let the hot water soothe her weary body. As the stress of the last few weeks melted away she was thankful she took Maggie's advice and pampered herself before she went to bed. With head leaning on the tip of the tub she began to evaluate her life the past three years. As much as she wanted Matt to be alive it would break her heart to know he was happily living apart from her. She had drifted off to sleep but was awakened as the cooled water chilled her body. She quickly made her way out of the tub and reached for a towel. As she dried herself off she stood staring at her naked body for awhile wondering if she could ever be satisfied by another man's touch. She sighed as she grabbed the nightgown hanging from the back of the door and threw it on as she made her way to bed. She slid between the sheets and let out with a satisfied moan…it felt so good to be in her own bed again. As she was drifting off to sleep she lay on her side and the aromatic scent of Matt's cologne soothed her. She smiled as she breathed in his fragrance and her dreams began.

A shadowy figure kept on eye on John as he made his way home. They had been transfixed as the loving couple said their goodbyes on the front porch. If there was any doubt as to the depth of their feelings for one another this overt display of affection told them all they needed to know. When he was no longer in sight they slipped away into the night to contemplate their next move.


	25. A Foolish Misunderstanding

It was going to be another hot, sticky day in New Orleans. Kitty released Matt's pillow and rolled over on her back. She could feel the beads of sweat running down the front of her body and her hair was damp with perspiration. She lay in bed listening for the patter of her children's footsteps but so far all remained quiet. It was a long trip to Dodge, and an even longer stay, so relaxing in bed a little while longer would certainly be a luxury. The past few weeks were utterly exhausting and it thrilled her to know that she would never have to see Dodge again. She sat up resting her back against the headboard and stretched. She felt better than she had in weeks and even the humidity of the day was not going to dampen her spirits. As she did every morning, she turned toward her nightstand to hold her wedding picture but it wasn't there. She searched around the nightstand and bed then sat back down on the mattress trying to remember if she had moved it. After awhile, she threw on her robe and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Maggie had started the coffee and was about to throw the bacon into the pan when Kitty entered the room. "Morning Miss Kitty…did you sleep well?" Kitty didn't respond still looking confused. "Is there something wrong?"

"Huh?"

"I asked you if there was something wrong. You look a little lost."

Maggie handed Kitty a cup of coffee as she sat down at the table. "Maggie, when did you get home yesterday?"

"Oh…a few hours before you did."

"Hmm. You didn't by any chance go in my room and clean…did you?"

Maggie chuckled. "To tell you the truth I took a little nap when I got home…why?"

"I know this is going to sound crazy but my wedding picture is not on the nightstand. I looked all around the area but there's no sign of it." Kitty sipped her coffee as she waved her hand, "I probably moved it somewhere and with the trip and all I just can't remember where. It'll come back to me I'm sure."

Maggie placed her hand over Kitty's, "If you need me to help you with anything you know you just have to ask." Kitty nodded, "now…how would you like your eggs?"

"Over easy…by the way did you and Doc get a chance to talk last night?"

Maggie nodded, "we did and as soon as I finish making your breakfast I'm going to bring him breakfast in bed. I'm going to make sure he doesn't overdo it."

Kitty chuckled, "don't spoil him now."

Maggie smiled, "I intend to for the rest of my life." Maggie walked over to start the eggs. "Oh and how adorable was Matthew in that cowboy hat and boots."

Kitty took another sip of coffee, "wasn't he though? I wish Matt could have seen him in Dodge. He would have gotten the biggest kick out of him."

"Festus didn't find Matt I presume?"

Kitty shook her head, "no, but he did find out that the man who was suppose to be searching for Matt never left Fort Collins. He just took the money and spent it on a woman there."

"Oh how awful."

"I don't know what to think anymore Maggie. If Matt is alive he clearly has decided to stay in the mountains and make a life there." Kitty sighed. "Well…at least I have the children."

"Miss Kitty, I just can't believe Matt would do that. He loved you so much."

"That's just it he loved me…I don't think he does anymore."

Maggie walked over to Kitty and wrapped her arms around her. "I don't believe that for a minute. I don't know where Matt is but I do know he hasn't for a second stopped loving you."

Maggie released Kitty, "well…thanks for saying so but I'm running low on hope." She stood, "why don't you make the breakfast for Doc; I think I'll go up and look in on the children."

Kitty peered into their rooms and smiled at how peaceful her children looked. She slowly closed their doors and went back into her room and lay across the bed. The puzzle of the missing wedding picture still preyed on her mind. The more thought she gave it the more positive she was that she left the picture on the nightstand. She took a deep breath and walked into the room to change. As she dressed she made a mental note of the list of things she needed to do that day. Her first order of business was to stop at the restaurant. She felt awful about leaving Sam alone for so long and would make it a point to do something special for him. Ready for the day she went over to her dresser to put on her jewelry when she noticed Matthew and Katie's pictures were also missing. She searched around the furniture but no sign of the photos. As she looked around the room she noticed a glass and a piece of paper on the other nightstand. She sat on the mattress and removed the piece of paper from under the glass. She gasped as she realized it was the note she left for Maggie. Her heart raced as the first thought that ran through her mind was Matt. She checked his dresser and found clothes missing. She quickly ran down the stairs, note in hand, into the kitchen. "Maggie, can you watch the children please?"

"Sure Miss Kitty but where are you going in such a hurry?"

She shouted back as she reached the front door, "to find my husband."

Susie was getting the office ready for the day when Kitty hurriedly came through the door. Susie looked up, "good morning Kitty."

"Morning Susie…John around?"

"He isn't expected until later this morning. I think he may have stopped at the hospital on his way in." Kitty was still breathing heavy, "are you all right…can I help you with anything?"

Kitty smiled, "I'm fine Susie. I just need to see John, that's all." As she grabbed the doorknob she turned back to John's nurse, "thanks." Susie walked to the window and watched Kitty as she raced down the block.

Kitty ran up to the front desk, "I'm looking for Dr. Chapman." Before the person could answer Kitty saw John down the hallway. She took off in his direction.

John looked up to see Kitty racing toward him, "Kitty, honey, everything all right?" Kitty tried to explain as she caught her breath. John took her toward a bench and sat her down. "Kitty, now take a deep breath and slowly tell me what's wrong."

"John," she showed him the note, "I found this on the nightstand next to the bed."

He looked puzzled. "Is that the note you left for Maggie?"

Kitty nodded her head, "there was a glass on top of it. John, I left nothing on that nightstand when I left for Dodge…nothing. Our wedding picture and the pictures of Matthew and Katie are gone…so are some of Matt's clothes."

John stared into Kitty's eyes, "you think Matt came home?"

"John, we have to find him."

"OK now. We are going to need help…the police station is around the corner." He helped her off the bench and they hurriedly left the hospital.

Captain Eric Fournier sat with feet up on his desk reading a police report. He was making a valiant effort to keep his eyes open but the nature of the material always made him drowsy. A knock on the door jolted him into an upright position as he straightened his body in the chair. "Come in."

"Captain, there's a Mrs. Dillon and Dr. Chapman to see you."

He quickly stood and moved from behind his desk, "please show them in." Kitty and John made their way into the room as Eric extended his hand. "Kitty, how nice to see you again," He then shook John's hand, "Dr. Chapman," he gestured toward the chairs in front of him as he moved behind his desk, "now what brings you here today?"

"Eric you once said if there was anything you could do to help me find Matt that I would just have to ask."

"That offer still stands today but Kitty it's been years. How do you know he is even still alive?"

"This," she showed him the piece of paper.

Eric read the note. "What does this have to do with Matt?"

"I think Matt came home while we were away."

Eric shook his head, "I'm sorry Kitty but I don't see the correlation between what is written in this note and Matt."

"Eric, we went back to Dodge because one of our good friends was seriously ill. Our housekeeper was on vacation visiting her sister and the sister's employer had no idea how to get in touch with them so I left that note in our kitchen for her to find if she came home before we did. Because our good friend was my housekeeper's fiancé I didn't want to worry her so I kept the note intentionally vague. I found the note with a glass on the nightstand this morning, with pictures missing, and more of Matt's clothes gone. I have no way of knowing when he left but if there is the slightest chance that he could still be in New Orleans I have to find him." Kitty looked down, "I fear the vagueness of the note might have made my husband believe I was no longer in love with him."

Eric looked over at John and shook his head, "I could see where a man could believe that."

"Can you help me Eric?"

He smiled, "Kitty you know I will. Let's just hope Matt is still in town but even if he isn't we still might be able to do something." He stood and handed the note back to Kitty. "Let me handle this and I'll be in touch."

Kitty extended her hand, "thank you so much Eric. I really appreciate this." He shook her hand and smiled. As they turned to leave, Eric extended his hand to John, "Nice seeing you again doctor." John nodded.

Kitty was quiet on the way home. She stared at the piece of paper not once looking up at John. Giving her some time to her thoughts he stared straight ahead not sure what to do or say. They arrived at the house and he helped her down from the coach. She smiled weakly, "I guess you have some patients to see today John."

"I have no problem staying here if you need me to be."

"No need. I should be all right." She smiled. "If we're lucky Matt might be home for dinner tonight." She turned and headed for the door as John watched her walk down the path then disappear into the house. He climbed into the coach with an empty feeling in the pit of his stomach. He always knew the day might come when Matt would return but as he headed for his office he realized he just wasn't as prepared for that day as he thought he was. It was going to be very hard for him to let her go.

Kitty entered the front door as Doc and Maggie were coming down the front staircase. Doc grabbed Kitty's arm, "Maggie said something about finding your husband? What was that all about?"

They walked into the living room and sat down. "I woke this morning Doc to find my wedding picture missing. As I was getting dressed I noticed that Matthew and Katie's pictures were missing as well. I began to look around the room and I found," she showed the piece of paper to Doc and Maggie, "this on the nightstand under a glass. I ran to Matt's dresser and more of his clothes were missing. We just came back from the police station and Captain Fournier is going to see if Matt is still here in New Orleans." Kitty stood, "I just hate all this waiting!"

Doc stood and put his hands on her shoulders, "Come on now sit back down. Maggie can you get Kitty a drink?"

She sat in the chair, "I don't feel like a drink Doc."

He ran his hand over his moustache, "maybe you don't want one but in my professional opinion you need one."

She smiled up at him as Maggie handed her the glass. "I've lost him again Doc."

He sat on the arm of the chair and put his arm around her, "now, honey, you don't know that."

She waved the piece of paper, "he read this Doc. I know him…he thinks I'm with John now."

"First," Doc reached over and took the paper from her hand, "we're not going to concentrate on this note any longer. We are going to believe that big idiot you married has gone somewhere to think things through and that he is going to walk through that door any day now."

She sighed, "I want to believe that Doc but…"

"No buts young lady. Now I want you to go upstairs and rest."

She waved him off, "Doc I have too much to do today. I have to get down to the restaurant and…well…I just have too much to do." She took a deep breath, "besides, it might take my mind off things." She stood and handed him the drink, "I'll see you later Doc." He watched as she walked out the front door.

"Miss Kitty, it is so good to see you." Sam threw his arms around her. "Festus told me Doc pulled through."

She nodded, "yes, thank heavens he's fine."

Sam looked down, "he also told me he didn't have any luck finding Matt."

Kitty nodded, "I guess I'm only allowed one miracle Sam."

"Pardon me Miss Kitty?"

She waved her hand to dismiss her thought, "I'm just feeling sorry for myself Sam. Now, if you will excuse me I'll get busy on the books."

"I did the best I could but if you can't make something out just give me a holler…OK?"

Kitty nodded, "I sure will," she held his arm, "and Sam thanks for everything."

"You're welcome Miss Kitty." She smiled as she turned to walk toward her office. Sam watched her leave then shouted after her. "It's really good to have you back Miss Kitty."

She turned and smiled again, "it's really good to be back, Sam. Thanks."

Kitty had been at the books for hours and she definitely needed to take a break. She stood to stretch her back and neck then she walked over and poured her favorite Napoleon brandy into a glass and sat down. She closed her eyes as the warm liquid flowed through her body and she allowed her mind some time to wander. The scene would play out vividly over and over in her mind. Matt would walk through the front door; take her in his arms, carry her up to bed, all the while promising never to leave her again. She smiled as she visualized the lengthy seduction she had planned in case he had any doubt how much in love with him she still was. She needed him more than ever in her life and she hoped the note didn't put any crazy notions into his head and drive him away. She was lost in her thoughts when she heard a knock at the door. "Come in."

"Sorry to disturb you Miss Kitty but I meant to mention that Annie quit last week and I held off on hiring anyone until you returned."

"That must have meant you were pretty shorthanded."

Sam nodded, "well…we were but we managed all right. I hope everything is making sense."

"Oh, yes Sam, you did real fine."

"OK then I just wanted to let you know while it was still in my head."

Kitty smiled, "I know the feeling Sam." Kitty heard the door shut behind her and then she went back to her books.

She arrived home for dinner exhausted and cautiously optimistic that Matt would be found soon. The children were in the capable hands of their Pop Pop and both man and youngsters were thoroughly enjoying their time together. Kitty walked down the hallway into the kitchen. "Need any help Maggie?"

She turned back to Kitty, "oh, no, Miss Kitty. Everything is fine. How was everything down at the restaurant?"

Kitty smiled, "no complaints there. From the looks of things it's just been humming along."

"Well that's good." A look of concern came over Maggie's face, "Miss Kitty, why don't you rest awhile before dinner. I think it will be another hour or so before we eat."

"I am a little tired, I think I will." She went up the back stairs and headed for her bedroom.

Later that evening the adults were relaxing, drinks in hand. Kitty was slowly sipping her drink, her mind a million miles away. Maggie looked at Doc and then back at Kitty, "I was expecting Dr. John to join us this evening for dinner."

Kitty slowly looked over at Maggie, "huh?"

"Dr. John…I was surprised he didn't come for dinner…I can't remember the last time he missed reading to the children before they went to bed."

Kitty shook her head, "oh, I guess I was a little distant when he dropped me off this morning."

Maggie looked at Doc as he patted her hand, "Kitty, now, are you still thinking about that note?"

She turned toward her old friend, "Doc, if I hadn't worded it the way I did Matt might have stayed."

"Maybe…but you would have certainly had Maggie worried half to death over nothing if you have written about my health condition in that note. That is why I presume you wrote it the way you did."

Kitty nodded, "I didn't want her to have to learn about it in a note."

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "Then you did the right thing as far as I'm concerned. You had no way of knowing Matt would come home now after all these years. "

"But if I had just given it some more thought maybe I could have told Matt where we were and not worry Maggie." She shook her head, "I've read it numerous times since and if I were Matt I would think that John and I were together too…I can't blame him."

"Yes, you can blame him! I'm getting a little tired of you thinking that Matt is not responsible in any way. Have you forgotten he walked out on you, maybe he didn't intend to stay away very long, but he left nonetheless. Honey, you know I love Matt like a son but he was just plain wrong this time and no amount of proper wording in a letter will make me believe otherwise." Kitty looked down trying to hold back the tears. Doc stood, sat on the arm of the chair, put his arm around her, and patted her shoulder, "come on now Kitty, we're going to find him." She nodded, stood, handed Doc her glass, and made her way upstairs. She quickly undressed, wrapped her arms around Matt's pillow, and cried herself to sleep.

The next day Doc slowly climbed down from the coach and made his way into John's office. "I'd like to see Dr. Chapman please."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No…but if you tell him Dr. Adams is in the waiting room I think he will fit me in."

Susie stood and walked down the hall to retrieve John. Doc sat in the waiting room until Susie reappeared, "Dr. Adams, Dr. Chapman said for you to come right in."

He stood slowly and followed the nurse back to John's office. John came from around his desk with a worried look on his face, "everything all right Galen? You're feeling fine, aren't you?"

"Oh, yes, I'm feeling fine," he shuffled over to the chair in front of John's desk and sat down. "It's Kitty I've come about."

"What happened? Is she all right?"

Doc nodded, "physically yes but I'm a little concerned about her mental state. Losing Matt once was bad enough but if she loses him again," Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "well John…I don't know what sort of shape she'll be in."

"Did she hear anything from the police?"

"No, nothing yet," Doc tugged on his ear, "I noticed you weren't at dinner last night."

"Well, under the circumstances, I didn't think it would be appropriate."

"How did you come to that conclusion?"

John picked up a pen and twirled it in his hand, "Kitty needs some time alone right now. I have a feeling she blames me for Matt leaving again." John stood and walked over to the window, "you know I'm in love with her."

Doc shook his head, "yes, I know."

"Galen, I went into this with my eyes wide open. Believe me, there was never a day that I ever thought for one moment that Kitty might ever love me as she does Matt but that didn't stop me from falling more deeply in love with her every day we were together." John shrugged, "maybe I started to believe that Matt was happy in the mountains and that with every passing day Kitty might start to see me in a different light and then one day we could make a life together." John fell silent as Doc eyed his friend, "I would cherish her every day of my life Galen…every day. I would do whatever I could to make her happy and I would never, ever, leave her side but there's a chance that Matt will be home soon so I have to bow out gracefully." He chuckled, "I am a southern gentleman, after all."

Doc stood slowly and walked over to the window. He placed his hand on John's back. "I'm sorry John I guess I was only thinking of Kitty when I decided to come here. I didn't give one thought to the agony you were going through."

"Galen, what's the old adage? It's better to have loved and lost then not to have loved at all? I will always treasure the years I spent with Kitty for the rest of my life. I will always have that to hold on to."

Doc patted his back, "you know the children miss you terribly."

John shook his head, "not once their father returns. I'll be a distance memory which is how it should be."

"Now John, that's just nonsense. You can't really believe that…you mean so much to the children."

John turned to pick up his pipe, "I don't belong there Galen. Matt has to bond again with his family. That's not going to happen if I'm always there."

Doc looked at John as he lit his pipe, "I guess I took up enough of your time John." Doc extended his hand, "I'm sorry John…I really am."

John took a puff on his pipe, "I am too Galen." Doc nodded then walked down the hallway as John closed the door.

For the last week, Kitty had hired a driver to take her down every street in New Orleans looking for Matt. The waiting was driving her crazy and doubling the police efforts in her mind might find Matt quicker. She returned home one night to find Captain Fournier sitting in the living room. She removed her cloak and walked toward him as he stood, "Eric do you have any information on Matt?"

"Kitty, maybe you should sit down."

"I don't want to sit Eric, where is Matt?"

Eric took a deep breath, "it seems a man fitting Matt's description bought a ticket to return to Denver."

"Did anyone see him get on the train?"

"No, but I have a couple of contacts in Denver. I've sent Matt's description so we'll see if anything comes up."

"Does this mean you've given up looking in this city?"

"No, certainly not, I just wanted to at least give you an update on the progress we've made so far."

Kitty nodded, "well, thank you for stopping by Eric. I do appreciate it."

They stood at the front door and Eric held her arm, "we're doing all we can Kitty, please believe that."

"I know." After she closed the door she walked into the living room and sat in the chair staring into space. The tears began to roll down her cheeks when Katie walked into the room. "Are you all right Mommy?"

Kitty wiped the tears away and tried to put on a brave face. She picked up her daughter and hugged her. "We're going to be all right Katie no matter what."

It took another couple of days before Eric brought the news that a man fitting Matt's description had purchased a horse in Denver and headed north. Of course no one could make a positive identification but he thought she should know. Kitty smiled politely as she thanked Eric for everything he had done and then she slowly climbed the stairs to her room.

Matt had longed for night in a town and was relieved when he finally saw Fort Collins in the distance. He hoped to get a hot bath, a good meal, and a good night's sleep, not necessarily in that order. He dismounted in front of the Iron Horse Café, grabbed his bags, and made his way to the bar. "What'll it be mister?"

"Beer, please." Matt placed his coins on the bar. He looked at the whiskey on the shelf, "and a bottle of whiskey." The bartender reached for the house brand and Matt stopped him. "I'd like the whiskey on the second shelf please."

The bartender grabbed the bottle and placed it in front of Matt. "I see you have good taste in whiskey. Own a bar or somethin'?"

Matt nodded his head, "might say that."

Belle Goodnight eyed this tall specimen of man from the moment he walked in. She watched him for awhile before she eventually made her way over to the bar. She stood uncomfortably close, "could I have a beer over here Bill?"

"Comin' up Miss Belle."

She looked up at Matt. "New in town?"

Matt took a sideways glance, "yep."

Bill placed the beer in front of Belle, "thanks." She looked back at Matt again as she sipped her drink, "stayin' for awhile?"

"Nope."

"You sure are short on conversation, I'll say that much." She threw down the beer, "the least ya could do is buy me a drink."

Matt took a deep breath and with an annoyed look, "buy her a beer Bill." He flung the coin across the bar.

"Well now that was right neighborly of you," sarcasm dripping from every word.

"You wanted the drink." Matt took another sip of his beer.

"You are one stubborn man…you know that?"

"So I've been told a time or two."

She turned back to the bar and sipped her beer, "It's gettin' a little late…do ya need a room for the night?"

"I was heading over to the hotel after I finished my drink."

"We have rooms here ya know; definitely better than the ones at the hotel."

"A room is a room."

"Let's just say our rooms have many more amenities then down the street. Don't cha want to know what they are?"

"Not particularly," Matt signaled for the bartender to pour him another beer.

"Well, for one, we clean our sheets every day."

"Doesn't matter to me what you do with the sheets after I'm gone."

"You can take a bath."

"Hotel has a bath."

"But our rooms have someone who will rub your neck," she ran her fingers down Matt's neck, "back," her hand ran the length of his back, "or anywhere else you need rubbin'," as her hand continued on down past his waist. Matt took a deep breath as she went through her obvious sales pitch. She turned her back to the bar and ran her hand down his chest, "do you think service like this might interest you?"

Matt closed his eyes as her hand reached his waist. He was trying to keep his physical reaction to this woman's touch at bay as he turned to look at her. As far as he could tell she was a woman near Kitty's age as his eyes ran the length of her voluptuous body and she thought she saw desire in his eyes. He looked at her face and stared into her eyes and swallowed hard as the thought of spending the night wrapped in her arms ran through his mind. Then he noticed the red hair and he smiled. Belle smiled and moved closer, "I take it you have decided to enjoy our hospitality for the night? Come," she positioned her body between Matt and the bar, "a man like you needs the best and I'm the best."

He stared at her but stopped her hand before it ran down the front of his pants and placed it on the bar. "I'm not going Belle."

She looked puzzled then stroked his face, "Sugar, I've seen your type before. Haven't had a woman in a long time and you're afraid you won't be able to perform. You don't worry about a thing…Belle will take care of everything."

"It's not that Belle, I just don't want to be with you."

"Why you," she went to slap him but he grabbed her hand.

He looked around the room as he released his hold, "seems to me there are plenty of other men here that I'm sure would love to take advantage of the services this establishment offers. I just can't."

Belle put her hands on her hips, "and why not?"

"I'm married and I don't want to be unfaithful to my wife."

She let her hands drop to her side as she shook her head, "yes sir, one day I wanna' find me a man like you to love. What I wouldn't give."

Matt smiled, "I hope you find him one day too Belle." Matt threw down the rest of his beer, grabbed the bottle off the bar and his bags, and left the café. He looked down at the hotel but as tempting as a soft mattress and a hot bath were he wasn't up for another womanly encounter so he threw his bags over his saddle horn and decided the wide open spaces would be his hotel that night. He mounted his horse and made his way out of town.

Matt sat in front of the fire, sipping some whiskey, trying to make some sense of his life. He thought of how happy he was when he returned to the house that night and found the lights on. His pace quickened as the thought of Kitty in his arms again spurred him on. He was a block away when he saw Kitty and John come out on the porch and linger. He could hear her laughter and he could see John's arms around her and then the kiss. Matt stepped back into the bushes as John passed but he never lost sight of Kitty standing on the porch watching John walk away. He stood what seemed like forever and then he made one final pass of the house and then he was gone. He had second guessed his decision all the way up to this point and he was sure he would for the rest of his life. He had no plan, no direction, all he knew was he had to get as far away as possible. Seeing his wife in the arms of another man tore him apart and he knew no matter how far he ventured or how long he lived he would always remember that moment. If she was happy that was enough for him to know. Now he had to make his own way. He slouched down on the saddle and thought about Belle. He could be tumbling around in that soft mattress right now as she made him feel like a man again. _What kind of fool turns down a night of love making?_ As Matt pulled his hat over his face he thought, _a man who was still so very much in love with his wife._

Kitty had spent another week on the coach scouring the city for Matt. She came through the front door again without any results. Doc met her in front of the staircase. "Care for a drink before dinner?"

She nodded, "I would, thank you Doc." She walked over to the sofa and sat down as Doc handed her the drink. He sat down next to her.

"No luck, huh?"

Kitty looked down, "no, but there's always tomorrow."

Doc reached over and took her hand, "honey, do you think it wise to continue this search?"

"I have to do something Doc."

"But what if, as Captain Fournier said, he went back to Denver? Seems to me it's a waste of money to continue searching for him here and risking your health. How long were you thinking about keeping this pace up?"

She took a sip of her drink, "if I give in to the thought that Matt went back to Denver I'll just fall apart Doc. I really can't live without him, you know that."

Doc nodded, "I know, but it's not going to do either you or the children any good if you become very sick. Kitty, they need their mother more then you need Matt at the moment." Doc could see he wasn't making much headway in convincing her the time was right to give up the search. "The good thing is we know Matt is alive and if he survived the mountains once I'm sure he'll be able to survive them again until we find him. You know what I believe?" Kitty shook her head, "I believe that Festus was probably in the cabin where Matt had been living but didn't find him there because Matt was on his way home." Doc patted her hand, "don't worry honey Festus will find him this time."

"I hope so Doc."

"You can bet on it." Doc turned her head to look in her eyes, "So promise me that you'll stop this daily search and for goodness sake start thinking about my wedding. That should be your number one priority young lady!"

Kitty smiled, "it sure is Doc." They clinked glasses and toasted to Matt's return.

For the next week, Kitty tried hard to put all her efforts into Doc and Maggie's wedding but there were moments her thoughts would turn to Matt. Every time she would think about how close she came to having him back home the tears would fall. She was in the library room going over her list when she heard the front door open. Expecting Maggie she rose to meet her halfway. She stepped out into the hallway to see John standing inside the front door. She hadn't seen him in weeks and when he smiled she ran into his arms then sobbed into his chest. He tried to comfort her as he walked her over to the sofa. He lifted her head to look at him and he brushed away the tears. "Kitty, I just saw Eric Fournier down at the hospital and he told me what they had found out about Matt. I'm so sorry."

She smiled through her tears, "I almost had him back again John."

"I know you did." He brushed away the hair from her face. "And you will again."

She shook her head, "he's gone now for good John. He's not coming back."

John shook his head in disagreement, "he just needs some time alone right now but he'll be back."

"How can you be so sure?"

John smiled, "he took your wedding picture and the pictures of Matthew and Katie with him. Now, how many men do you know would take such intimate mementos with them if they wanted to leave and never look back?"

Kitty mulled that thought over in her mind. "I guess it could be possible he'd return."

"Kitty, I think it's more than possible. Let's just give him some time…OK?"

She nodded then touched his face, "The last time I saw you I was so rude. I'm so sorry."

John shook his head, "No you weren't. You had a lot on your mind and I understood you needed to be alone."

"Well, I thought maybe that was why you hadn't come to the house for the past few weeks."

"You had nothing to do with it Kitty, believe me."

"Then what John?"

He shook his head, "it doesn't matter."

"It matters to me."

He took a deep breath, "when I thought Matt would be home soon I felt it was better if you, the children, and Matt had time to bond as a family again. I didn't want to do anything that would hinder that process."

"The children have been asking for you. They've missed you very much."

"I've missed them." He stared into her eyes, "and you."

She smiled, "will you stay for dinner?"

He returned the smile. "This isn't a ploy to get me to read to the children…now is it?"

She slapped his arm, "now Dr. Chapman how could you ever think such a thing?" They both laughed, "come on, I'll pour you a drink and then I'll show you how the wedding preparations are coming.

Little Fawn shaded her eyes from the mid-afternoon sun as she watched a lone rider slowly approaching the cabin from her vantage point on the porch. As he came closer and she realized who it was her heart broke for the man who she had come to call her friend. He dismounted and tied the horse to the rail not saying a word. She looked into his eyes and she had never seen such sadness. "I hoping you not come back Dillon."

Matt didn't say anything as he stepped up on the porch. He headed for the chair and sat down exhausted. She took her place next to him. "What happened Dillon? She not there?"

Matt stared blankly into space. "Yes, she wasn't there."

"Did she move away?"

"No, she still lives there but she was on a trip with the children."

"So, why you not wait Dillon?"

"I did wait for a couple of weeks but I couldn't wait any longer."

"You wait couple of weeks then go? What made you go Dillon?"

He shook his head, "I don't know…maybe I didn't want to be told the truth."

"What truth Dillon?"

"She was on this trip with the children…and…another man."

"How you know that?"

"I found a note for our housekeeper telling her that she had gone with this man."

"You know this man?"

Matt shook his head, "yes, I do."

Little Fawn sat silent trying to find the right words to say. "Maybe you should have stayed. At least she would know you alive."

"I don't think she cares."

Little Fawn shook her head, "why you think this always Dillon?"

Matt was beginning to lose his patience, "Why else would she be on a trip with him? How do they sleep…like husband and wife?" Matt stopped and calmed down before he continued, "before I left I saw them on the porch kissing and," Matt flailed his arms, "It doesn't matter anymore. She's happy now."

Little Fawn looked puzzled, "you do not know this Dillon. Why you run from this love? You not be upset if this love was not something important to you."

"It once was but she has decided to be with another man and I will not stand in her way. She deserves some happiness in her life."

"I think you her happiness. A woman does not wait for man twenty years if she not happy. She still loves you Dillon, this I know. If she is with other man it be for many reasons but it is not love. There is sorrow in her heart and in yours." She shook her head in disappointment, "I sorry you return."

"Little Fawn, you, Brave Bear and Running Fox have been very good to me and I will always be grateful for what all of you have done but I will look to build my own cabin. My life is here in the wilderness now and as soon as I can finish building I will leave here to live out my days alone."

"Dillon I not mean for you to leave. I only want you be happy again. Whether you stay here or live alone you will not be happy. She will always be your happiness and you hers. This I know. I think instead of building cabin here, you go back to this Louis Anna and build a house there. If you believe your wife not need you then believe your children need you."

Matt took a deep breath, "I can't do that Little Fawn…I just can't."

Little Fawn let out with an exasperated sigh, "then Dillon you stay with us. You not live alone. You come from family you need family and I not hear word from you that is not so. Your room still here."

Matt smiled, "thank you."

Matt was beginning to feel a little more settled as he sat with the woman who he had always felt comfortable around. After some time Little Fawn turned to him. "Dillon, I have news."

He turned toward her, "Oh? And what's that?"

"I'm with child."

Matt stood and helped her out of the chair and hugged her close, "I'm so happy for you Little Fawn."

"See…other reason you need to stay here."

Matt smiled, "by golly, I guess there is."

"Come you unpack and I will start dinner."

"Yes ma'am."

Matt stood and walked over to his horse. He removed his two bags and followed Little Fawn into the cabin. Running Fox stood when he saw Matt walk through the door. He extended his hand, "welcome my friend but why you come back?"

"Well, Running Fox, it's a long story. Maybe on one of our hunting expeditions I'll tell you all about it but from what I hear congratulations are in order."

Running Fox pulled Little Fawn to him, "we hope for son."

"And a right fine son he'll be too." Matt grabbed his bags from in front of the hearth, "if you'll excuse me I just want to drop off my bags and take a little nap."

Running Fox agreed. "Sleep is good after long journey." Matt nodded and waved at Brave Bear on his way to his room.

He closed the door and stripped down to his union suit. The blankets and mat were exactly as he had left them. Before he lay down he opened his carpet bag and removed the three pictures. He set them side by side to the left of his head. The sun was setting and the light poured through the window and illuminated the photos. He stared at his family and the harsh reality set in that this was all he had in his life, these three photos would remind him every day of how happy he once was. He tried to keep his eyes opened as long as he could but as sleep gently took him away his last thought was, _take good care of them John. _


	26. A Perilous Game Where No One Wins

The wedding was set for the first Saturday in October which left little more than a month to have the dresses made, the yard decorations delivered and hung, the invitations sent, and _**Russell's**_ transformed into the grandest wedding reception New Orleans had ever seen. Katie was going to be flower girl and Matthew had the honor of carrying the rings. He was fidgeting as Mrs. Boudreau tried very hard to size him for his suit. "Matthew, please stand still a little longer until Mrs. Boudreau finishes."

"Why Mommy?"

"You are going to Pop Pop's and Aunt Maggie's wedding and little boys should be wearing a suit."

"Can I wear my boots?"

Kitty took an exasperated breath, "we'll see. Now, just hold still a while longer…please?"

Mrs. Boudreau chuckled, "little boys are always like this Kitty. Even when it is their wedding day they still fidget."

Kitty laughed, "I know he will."

"OK, Master Matthew I am finished with you. Now it will be much easier measuring your sister, I am sure. Come Katie."

Katie ran over and stood perfectly still in front of Mrs. Boudreau. "You'll find you won't have any trouble with her. She loves to get dressed up."

"Then we should make a dress befitting that of a beautiful flower girl." Katie looked up at Mrs. Boudreau and smiled.

"Dillon…stand still! I can't make coat if you move."

Matt took a deep breath and pointed over to his jacket, "Little Fawn, I have a perfectly functional coat sitting right on that chair over there."

The Indian woman nodded, "it good coat but this one better…warmer than your coat."

"You really don't have to go through all this trouble."

"No trouble to make…much trouble fit," Matt turned to look down at his friend, "turn 'round Dillon."

Little Fawn turned Matt around to face forward as he made an irritated face. Running Fox came into the cabin. "Must stand still, won't change mind."

Matt nodded in agreement, "Yeah…I'm finding that out."

"I almost done Dillon," Little Fawn shook her head. "You worse than little boy." Running Fox smiled as he passed Matt.

It was an unseasonably cool morning in New Orleans when Doc and Matthew, fishing poles in hand, headed toward Lake Pontchartrain. Kitty had packed them a lunch and doctor and grandson walked hand in hand down the streets leading to the water. They settled on a quiet bank surrounded by tall brush and moss covered trees. Doc baited Matthew's hook and showed him the fine art of casting his line. They sat for a couple of hours patiently waiting for the first bite each concentrating on the slow moving currents as they meandered down to the Mississippi. "Does it always take this long Pop Pop?"

Doc nodded, "sometimes, but if you get tired Matthew we can go home whenever you want."

"It's OK Pop Pop I wanna' catch a fish."

"All right then but you let me know when you're getting tired…OK?" Matthew nodded, "you want to eat something?" Matthew nodded again, "all right now, let me see what your mother fixed for us. Hmm…some fried chicken. Here…give me your pole and we'll stick it in the dirt here and then," he signaled for Matthew to take the food, "go ahead now help yourself." Matthew reached in and grabbed a leg and Doc reached in after him and did the same.

They sat for awhile before Matthew looked over at Doc, "Pop Pop…did my Daddy like to fish?"

Doc wiped his mouth with a napkin, "oh…your Daddy was an excellent fisherman. He didn't get a chance very often to enjoy it but when he did he liked it a lot."

"Ya think my Daddy will come home and take me fishing?"

Doc nodded, "he will someday, you can count on it."

Doc continued munching on his chicken, "Pop Pop…did my Daddy love me?"

Doc could feel his eyes welling with tears. "Sure he does Matthew."

"Then why did he leave? My friends have daddies that didn't leave. Did he leave because of me?"

Doc had years of practice delivering babies, taking bullets out of men, even pulling a couple of teeth now and again but answering a little boy's doubts was something they never taught him in medical school. He thought for a moment, "Matthew, why don't you come over here and sit next to your Pop Pop." Matthew got up and squeezed between his grandfather and the picnic basket. Doc put his arm around him as he spoke, "you see Matthew all your friend's daddies live a very different life from your Daddy. Remember when we were on the train coming back from Dodge?" Matthew nodded, "and there was land as far as the eye could see?" He nodded again, "well, your Daddy has lived his whole life on a horse roaming the land whether he was bringing cattle to market or bringing in the bad men who broke the law. Your Daddy is used to sleeping under the stars and he enjoys it. Now these other daddies they were born and raised right here so they don't know any other life but here. Do you understand?" He shook his head no. Doc took a deep breath, "What I'm trying to say is your Daddy is a very special man who has done some very special things in his life and the most special thing he has ever done was having you as his little boy. Matthew, I was with your Daddy when you were just a little baby and I've never seen a happier man in my life. He loves you very much and that I know for a fact."

"Then why isn't he here with me Pop Pop?"

Doc shook his head and tugged on his ear, "I wish I could explain that Matthew, I don't really understand it myself, but the one thing I am very sure of is that you had nothing to do with your Daddy leaving." He hugged his grandson and kissed the top of his head. The tender moment was interrupted by Matthew's pole wiggling to free itself from the dirt. Doc grabbed the pole and put Matthew in front of him as he gave the little boy joint control. Matthew's grin was a mile wide as he and his grandfather pulled the fish to shore.

"Pop Pop, I caught a fish," he turned his head to look at Doc, "I caught a fish!"

"You sure did, by golly."

"Can we go home now? I wanna' show my Mommy."

"You help me clean up and we'll be on our way."

As they walked hand in hand back home Matthew looked up at Doc, "wait 'till Mommy sees this fish Pop Pop."

"She'll be proud all right…mighty proud."

Matthew came running through the front door calling for Kitty. "Whoa…slow down there little man. What are you so excited about?"

"Mommy I caught the biggest fish you ever saw!" He turned to look for Doc, "even Pop Pop said I did!"

Doc caught up to mother and son as he showed Kitty what Matthew caught and chuckled, "good size too. Your son is a natural."

Kitty rustled Matthew's hair, "he certainly is. Matthew, honey, why don't you go upstairs and get cleaned up a little OK?"

"OK Mommy."

Doc and Kitty watched as Matthew climbed the stairs. "Honey, follow me out to the yard. I want to talk with you a minute." Kitty followed Doc and once they were out of earshot Doc spoke, "I just want you to know that Matthew was asking about Matt and I tried to explain the situation the best I could."

"What did he want to know?"

"He felt Matt left because of him. He sees all his friends with fathers and he is curious why his father isn't here."

"What did you tell him?"

"I tried to reinforce that Matt loves him very much and that having Matthew was the best thing Matt every did in his life but I had no explanation as to why Matt wasn't here except to say that Matt leads a very different life then his friend's fathers do."

Kitty rolled her eyes, "that's an understatement!"

Doc took Kitty by the arm, "now don't go to worrying, he'll be fine. Of course, it wouldn't hurt if Matt came home in the next couple of months."

"I would give anything for that to be true." She kissed him on the cheek, "thanks Curly for taking Matthew today. I've never seen him so excited."

"Kitty you should have seen his face when we were reeling it in. That's something that will stay with me for the rest of my life." Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "now if you will excuse me, I'll clean this fish and then I'll do a little freshening up myself." Kitty smiled as she walked back into the house.

As John arrived for dinner Matthew ran into waiting arms. "Uncle John…wait till you see the fish I caught today." He extended his hands, "it was this big."

"Wow that's some catch, shall we go see?" Matthew nodded as John carried him into the next room. "I hear we have dinner courtesy of Matthew this evening?" John placed him in a chair as Kitty walked over to him.

"Among other delicacies." She smiled, "how are you John?" She kissed his cheek.

He returned her smile, "famished."

"Then you've come to the right place tonight sir, please take a seat." He sat down next to Matthew as the food was passed around the table.

Later that evening John and Kitty sat on the porch, drinks in hand. "How's the wedding plans coming along?"

"Smoothly so far."

"I wouldn't expect it to go any other way with you planning it."

She smiled, "thanks."

He looked at her for a moment, "Kitty is anything wrong? You've been quiet this evening."

She took a deep breath, "when Doc took Matthew fishing today they had a little talk."

"Oh?"

"Matthew was under the impression that Matt doesn't love him and that he was the reason Matt left. It seems he can't understand why his friends have fathers and he doesn't."

John shook his head, "it must be very hard for him to understand."

"Well…thank goodness he caught that fish. I think that took his mind off the subject."

John reached over and picked her hand up and kissed it gently, "is there anything I can do?"

"I wish there was. Hopefully Matthew will believe what Doc told him…at least until we can get Matt back."

John looked at his watch and placed his drink on the table, "I have early morning rounds tomorrow Kitty so I think I'll head on home. Thanks for the good dinner." He stood and moved forward as Kitty quickly stood and grabbed his arm.

"I'm so glad you've been stopping by for dinner again John. I missed our chats in the evening."

He turned toward her, "I missed them too." She smiled as he ran his fingers down her face and gently kissed her lips. "I'll see you tomorrow." She wrapped her arms around his and walked him to the top step of the porch and, as she did every night, watched him disappear into the night.

They had ridden for awhile in silence. Running Fox had spent a good part of the ride talking about impending fatherhood while Matt just listened. He was hoping mention of a child would have given Matt an opportunity to speak about his return but his face never changed expression. It looked like he would just have to wait until Matt was ready to talk. Sitting close to a majestic pine tree they shared a meal. Matt turned to Running Fox, "mmm…this is very tasty. Little Fawn is a very good cook."

"This is true." He eyed Matt closely before he spoke, "what about your wife…she good cook too?"

Matt shook his head, "I don't have a wife."

"Why you say that?

Matt looked straight ahead, "because it's true. I lost her Running Fox. I did a very stupid thing and I lost her."

"She told you this?"

Matt shook his head, "no, she didn't have to. I saw with my own eyes."

"You saw what?"

"She was kissing another man in front of our house." Matt shrugged, "she's in love with him now I don't belong with her anymore."

"You know from kiss?"

Matt turned toward the Indian, "what would you do if you came to the cabin and saw Little Fawn kissing another brave?"

He stopped eating for a moment and looked up, "I kill brave."

Matt stared straight ahead again. "Yeah…well…don't think that didn't cross my mind."

"Do you still love wife?"

Matt took a deep breath and shook his head, "very much."

"Huh…too bad."

He turned toward Running Fox, "that all you're going to say?"

The Indian shrugged, "what can I say…you saw….you make up mind." He took another bite of his meal.

Matt looked annoyed, "No words of tribal wisdom?"

"I told you I kill brave," he took his next bite and grinned.

"You know…a little empathy would go a long way right about now."

"What's this empathy?"

"It means you understand…you feel sorry for what a person is going through."

"I do my friend but nothing I say will change mind. This you must do for self. Why you not talk to her?"

Matt shrugged, "It would be hard for me to hear she didn't love me any more."

"I do know what you say, yes, it would be hard." Running Fox thought a moment. "You not miss children?"

"Yes, I do, very much."

The Indian shook his head in acknowledgement, "I sure they miss you too." He finished off his meal and stood. "One day Dillon you find courage in heart to see your woman and children again. I not tell you, Little Fawn not tell you, you must tell self. Until then you live with us, share in our children, our happiness."

Matt stood and extended his hand, "thank you my friend." They mounted the horses and continued their hunt.

Kitty had left the restaurant and was heading toward Canal Street when she heard a woman's voice call out to her. As the woman approached, Kitty recognized her face but was unable to place her. She waited until the woman was standing in front of her before she spoke, "I'm sorry, I'm at a disadvantage. You seem to know who I am but I don't seem to know you."

"Oh, come now Kitty, we are vying for the same man." She grabbed Kitty by the arm, "let's take a walk." As she tried to place her Kitty walked along in silence, "I'm surprised you don't remember me after all you ruined my life."

Kitty stopped and turned toward the woman, "would you mind telling me what this is all about?"

"I'm getting to that but we need to keep walking." She kept her hand tightly on Kitty's arm and directed her into an alley. She turned toward Kitty, "women like you can have it all, men, children, a nice business but then that leaves very little for the rest of us. Some of us just want a good man but when we get him women like you want to take them away from us."

Kitty was becoming annoyed, "I'm getting a little tired of this game so just spell it out!"

"John Chapman was mine and you decided to take him away from me."

Recognition spread across Kitty's face, "Regina…Regina Lawrence...isn't it?"

"Very good Kitty, you have a marvelous memory to go along with your other assets."

Kitty looked confused, "what do you want from me?"

"I want you to tell John that you don't want him anymore."

"Regina, I don't know what you think is going on but it is not like that between John and me."

Regina laughed. "Oh, come on now Kitty. I know John wouldn't be around you if you weren't very good in bed."

Kitty's simmering temper was getting close to the boiling point, "let me tell you something, John Chapman is a wonderful, caring, generous man. He is many things but he is not lascivious and neither am I!"

Regina laughed again. "Please spare us both from your tired platitudes. I know you and John went away for a few weeks and I see you every night in a lover's embrace on the porch."

Kitty looked shocked, "you've been spying on us?"

"I'd like to look at it as protecting my interests."

"I don't care what you call it…you're crazed."

"Now…now…Kitty, I understand you're upset because you can't excuse your relationship away any longer." She took Kitty by both her arms, "John was very happy with me, I made him happy. He loved me, wanted me, and I am going to get him back."

"Why are you telling me? Why don't you talk to John?"

"Come off it Kitty. Do you think that John would return to me if you still wanted him? No, my dear, you need to release him. Tell him you don't want him, you don't love him, and you want him to leave you."

"How can I make you understand that John is free to do whatever he wants? I have no control over him."

"Oh…but you do Kitty. Believe me he will be so devastated when you set him free that all I have to do is be there to pick up the pieces." Regina smiled, "he'll then love me until the day I die."

Kitty was getting nowhere so she decided to play her game, "and why are you so sure you are the one he will run to?"

"Because there is no one else." Regina chuckled, "I've watched him…he only goes to you."

"What if I won't give him up? What if I'm just as addicted to his love as you?" Kitty thought a moment, "I got an idea maybe we can share him. I'm sure John wouldn't mind spending time in both our beds."

Regina raised her voice, "No!" Kitty noticed a crazed look in her eyes, "John is mine…do you hear me…mine! I will not share him especially with someone like you. You think because your husband left that you are free now to take mine?" Regina took a deep breath to calm down, "I use to wonder why your husband left but now I know you're nothing but a cheap tramp."

She slapped Regina across the face which propelled her against the building wall. She glared up at Kitty and spoke through clenched teeth, "you will let John go tonight. After tonight if I ever see him again at your house or anywhere near you I will kill you." She stood, straightened her outfit, and smiled, "Nice seeing you again Kitty." As she watched Regina walk away a chill went up Kitty's spine. There was no doubt the woman was deranged and although her life was threatened she felt more afraid for John.

After dinner John was heading for the front porch with both their drinks. Kitty called after him. "John, why don't we have our drinks in here?"

"Oh…all right."

He sat on the opposite end of the sofa, "here…give me your feet. You must be exhausted, especially with all the errands you've been running lately."

"John there is something I need to discuss with you."

He bent to pick up her feet, "OK, but in the meantime I'll help you relax a little."

She pulled her feet back, "we need to talk."

John looked confused but listened, "sure…what is it?"

Kitty stood and began to pace, "I don't know where to start." John stood and put his hands on her shoulders, "John, please, don't touch me."

He looked puzzled as he grabbed her arms and turned her toward him, "don't touch me? Kitty, what is going on?"

She stared into his eyes, "I was accosted on the street today by your old love."

"My what?"

"Regina Lawrence."

"Is that what this is all about? Regina? I never loved Regina and you know that. Kitty, you know everything that went on, believe me I didn't leave anything out." John began to pace, "that's a time in my life I'm not very proud of and I wish to God it had never happened."

"Well, she doesn't view it quite the same way you do."

John directed Kitty back to the sofa, "what did she say?"

"Oh, she has it all planned. I'm to force you out of my life and she'll be there to pick up the pieces. In fact, she's probably outside in the bushes right now."

"What?"

Kitty shook her head, "oh yes, she's been spying on us every night. She knows we went to Dodge and she watches as we say our good nights."

John stood again, "this is absurd." He turned back to Kitty, "what else did she say?"

"I'm of the opinion that she views you as her husband and she thinks because Matt left me that I went after you."

He began to pace, "I'll have a talk with her."

Kitty stood and walked over to him, "I don't think talking is going to do it. She wants you to walk out of my life…tonight."

"That's ridiculous!" He took Kitty by the arms, "I'll work this out but I'm not going to stop seeing you and that's a promise."

"John, you may have to."

"Why?"

"She threatened to kill me if you don't."

He hugged her, "I'm so sorry Kitty, so sorry." They stood for awhile holding each other, "I'm certainly not going to put your life in jeopardy." He took a deep breath, "until I can figure this out I'll stay away." He put his fingers under her chin and stared into her eyes. "This isn't going to be easy for me. I'm going to miss you very much."

Kitty smiled, "I'll miss our nights together too." Their lips met in a passionate kiss…a kiss that would last a lifetime.

The next day John walked into Eric Fournier's office, "thanks for meeting me on such short notice Captain."

"My pleasure doctor, now, what's on your mind?"

John shook his head, "I'm not sure how this is going to sound."

Eric smiled, "try me."

"As you know, I was helping Kitty find Matt. I went to a detective agency owned by an old friend. His secretary and her husband were also old friends of mine. Regina's husband had died awhile back and I thought it might be nice to take her out to lunch and renew old acquaintances." John cleared his throat, "I'm not sure how I can delicately put this,"

"Rest assured John, there is very little I have not heard in this job."

"I guess one thing lead to another and eventually we spent the night together...well…not just one night."

Eric shrugged, "I'm not sure why you're here."

"She didn't like that I spent so much time with Kitty. I guess she thought I had slept with Kitty too." Eric raised an eyebrow and John emphatically shook his head, "no, we never."

"OK, continue John."

"One Thanksgiving she tried to kill herself and my good friend Gerard asked that I not see her anymore so I didn't. Yesterday, she met Kitty on the street and told her that she wants me back. She has this misguided notion that Kitty and I are lovers and she wanted Kitty to let me go last night so I could be with her. If Kitty didn't comply she promised to kill her."

Eric mulled the story over and took a deep breath, "I wish there was something I could do but I'm afraid my hands are tied."

"You can't arrest her?"

"I wish I could but it's her word against Kitty's. Not much I can prove."

"So she would have to kill Kitty before anything could be done?"

"That's about the extent of it."

John sighed then stood, "thank you Captain for your time."

Eric reached over his desk to shake John's hand. "I wish I could have been more help."

"I guess I'll just have to speak with Gerard. Maybe he can talk some sense into her."

"Be careful doctor, it doesn't sound like this woman is too stable." John nodded and left.

Discouraged, John walked down the front stairs of the station. The thought of spending any length of time away from Kitty was going to hurt but for this delusional woman to take her away was even more maddening. He had to find a quick solution to this problem while keeping Kitty out of danger. While deep in thought, a pair of hands wrapped around his arm. "Well, Dr. Chapman, what a coincidence. How long has it been?"

John tried hard to control his emotion, "Reggie, funny I should meet up with you now after all this time."

She rubbed his arm, "I guess you've been keeping very busy lately what with your doctoring and your charitable acts of kindness toward the widow Dillon." Regina chuckled, "oh, that's right her husband is very much alive. In fact, I saw him that night rushing to be with her until he saw the two of you on the porch…stopped him dead in his tracks…poor man…and he thinking his wife would be sitting home waiting for him and being faithful to their vows." Regina let out with a long sigh, "I guess we all find out the truth sooner or later."

The news about Matt stunned John, "you saw him?"

"Oh yes, carrying his bags was he, going home." She rubbed John's chest, "darling, I'm afraid that you burst his bubble. I really didn't pay much attention to him after he passed me and then once I saw you coming down the street…well… my eyes, as they always are, are on you." She continued to rub his chest, "John, I've missed you so." He tried hard not to look at her with disgust. It wasn't going to be easy and it was times like these that he wished he had Kitty's poker face. Above all, she had to be protected so if it meant he had to play along in Reggie's sick little game he would until the end. He just hoped no one would get seriously hurt. "John, dear, did you hear me? I told you I missed you very much."

John smiled, "Reggie, I've missed you too. I was a fool to ever leave you in the first place. We did have a wonderful relationship that I should have treasured instead of thinking that another man's wife would be as much of a comfort as you."

"Oh John," she wrapped her arms around him, "I knew you still cared."

He hugged her, "but this time Reggie we need to take it slow. We got caught up in the physical part of our relationship and we really didn't get a chance to get to know each other and enjoy the time we spent together outside of the bedroom."

"John, I will do anything to keep you in my life this time. I will prove to you that we are so very good together and that you will never need to stray again." She leaned up and pulled him into a kiss. As it turned passionate he slowly pulled back.

"Reggie now, let's take this slow…remember?"

She shook her head, "what are you doing for dinner tonight?"

"I hadn't thought about it."

"My place…say seven?"

"I think it better if we stick to public places for now. You pick the restaurant and I'll pick you up at seven."

She smiled, "seven it is. See you tonight." As he watched her walk down the street, John seethed with anger.

It had been about a week since John had agreed to see Regina again. He wasn't sure what good speaking with Gerard would do but he had to exhaust all possible avenues of help. He was walking toward the hospital when he noticed Gerard embarking from the coach. He called after him, "well, John, it has been a very long time. How have you been?"

"I've been better."

"My assumption is that Kitty's husband has returned then?"

John shook his head, "no, he's still missing. Gerard, do you have time for a cup of coffee?"

He looked at his watch, "as a matter of fact I do." He placed his hand on John's back, "your treat or mine?"

"Mine, might even throw in a pastry."

Gerard slapped his back, "you're on."

It was a one sided conversation as Gerard listened intently. John briefed him on the latest information about Matt and how close they were to having him home. He wasn't sure how he was going to broach the subject about Regina or even if he should. He didn't want to make any move that would further jeopardize Kitty's life but he felt talking to Gerard about Regina was worth the risk. He took a sip of his coffee when Gerard spoke, "Regina mentioned the other day that you were seeing her again. Do you think it wise to resume a relationship with her after what happened the last time?"

John took a deep breath, "I wish it was my choice."

Gerard took a puff of his cigar, "what do you mean?"

John shook his head, "she wants me back."

Gerard pointed his cigar in John's direction, "John I'm warning you if you are using Regina again…"

John shook his head, "it's nothing like that Gerard she wants me back so badly that she will go to any lengths."

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"She's threatened to kill Kitty if she sees us together."

Gerard shook his head, "is this what Kitty told you?"

John nodded, "yes."

Gerard began to chuckle, "This woman never ceases to amaze me." He let out with a huge sigh, "John can't you see she was using you all along? Now that it seems she is closer to getting her husband back she no longer has any use for you. So she comes up with this absurd story about Regina threatening her life just so you'll leave her alone. Can't you see that?" Gerard took another puff on his cigar, "I'll give her a lot of credit she knows how to play men all right."

"Gerard, Reggie has been spying on us."

"Did Kitty tell you that also?"

"Well…yes…but…"

Gerard held up his hand, "John, I've known you for a long time and, let's face it, your experiences with women have been few so it's no wonder that with her saloon gal wiles that Kitty has you head over heels infatuated." Gerard shook his head, "I'm sure she knew how to make you feel very good, most likely better than you had ever felt in your life, but that doesn't mean that everything that comes out of her mouth is the truth."

John tried to control his anger as he leaned over the table and spoke through clenched teeth. "Gerard, I will not sit here and let you insinuate that Kitty and I were adulterous. The reason for this talk was to understand why, after all this time, Regina wants back into my life."

Gerard took a sip of his coffee, "it's obvious to me John she loves you."

John took a deep breath, "she doesn't know me Gerard. She knows she felt wonderful during our physical moments but we didn't share much after that. How can she be in love with me?"

Gerard shook his head, "I don't know. All I know is she is and if you don't feel the same way I want you to end it today. She has been through enough I don't want her heart broken any more."

John stared at Gerard and felt all hope was lost. He thought he might have found an ally in his old friend that maybe Regina had exhibited crazed behavior in Gerard's presence but clearly he now realized she had reserved that only for him. He couldn't make Gerard understand that she was unstable and that not seeing her would only sign Kitty's death warrant. He was going to have to grin and bear it and play Regina's game for the sake of the woman he loves. He looked across at Gerard and smiled, "you were right all along Gerard I should have never gotten involved in Kitty's life. I had a good thing with Regina; I guess I was a fool to think that Kitty had any feelings for me." John looked away as if remembering. "I guess I never wanted to admit it but she certainly played me all right." He looked back at Gerard, "I'm going to make it up to Regina this time. I'm going to make her as happy as I can." John stood, "I have to get back to the hospital Gerard." He extended his hand, "I want to thank you for talking some sense into me."

Gerard stood and shook his hand, "John, I know it can't be easy for you. I'm sure you feel like you loved Kitty but given the chance I really believe Regina can make you a very happy man."

John shook his head, "I think she will too Gerard. Thanks." Gerard watched him walk away then signaled for the check.

It was a week before the wedding and the excitement was building for the big day. Maggie was pacing in the kitchen, "honey, now, she'll be here. Come here and just relax."

"Oh Galen, I want you all to like her."

He kissed her forehead, "she's your sister I know I'm going to love her."

Maggie smiled and hugged Doc, "I love you so much."

"Well, by golly, I hope so. You're going to be Mrs. Galen Adams in about a week."

She looked at Doc, "that will be…," they heard a knock on the door. Maggie ran down the hallway. She opened the door and grabbed Claire into a big hug, "I can't believe you're here."

Kitty heard the voices and came down the front staircase. "So this must be Claire."

Maggie let Claire walk into the hallway first, "Claire this is Miss Kitty."

Kitty extended her hand and smiled, "very nice to meet you Claire."

She took Kitty's hand, "it's very nice to meet you too Miss Kitty."

They heard Doc clearing his throat. Maggie turned and took him by the arm, "Claire this is Galen."

He kissed her on the cheek and hugged her, "it is so very nice to finally get to meet you. Maggie has told me so much about you."

"All good I hope!"

Doc rubbed his hand over his moustache and smiled, "of course, you are my Margaret's sister, after all."

Kitty tipped the coachman and turned to those assembled, "why don't we go inside and I'll pour us some drinks."

Doc took the two sisters by the arms, "that sounds good to me Kitty."

They sat and chatted as Doc kept them all entertained with his stories. It was getting close to dinner time and Kitty excused herself, "I'm going to do the cooking this evening. Maggie, why don't you and Claire go upstairs and freshen up. After dinner we'll take Claire to the hotel."

Doc stood and tugged on his ear, "now Kitty I've been giving this a little thought. I really don't want Claire to be in a hotel alone besides I really shouldn't be spending nights in the same house with Maggie before the wedding. I was thinking about going to John's and ask if I could stay with him for the rest of the week." Doc noticed the change of expression on Kitty's face as he turned to Maggie and Claire, "now why don't you two go upstairs and freshen up like Kitty suggested and I'll help down here."

Maggie kissed Doc, "all right. We'll be down in a little while." Doc watched the sisters ascend the stairs and then headed for the kitchen to talk with Kitty.

"Is there a problem if I go stay with John, Kitty?"

Kitty dismissed his question with her hand, "Doc, why would there be a problem?"

"I don't know but your facial expression changed when I mentioned his name."

He walked over and took her arm, "is everything all right? Did you have a disagreement with John? I noticed he hasn't been here in a couple of weeks."

"Doc, I'm sure John has been very busy lately or else he would have been here." Her tone of voice conveyed annoyance, "I don't have any hold over him…you know."

Doc tugged on his ear, "Kitty, I think we both know that's not true. He loves you for goodness sake."

"Well, I don't love him so it's probably best if we don't see each other. He'll find someone else and it'll be good for him."

"Kitty, what is going on?"

Kitty turned to him irritated by his questions. "Nothing is going on Doc, now, if you will excuse me, I've got a dinner to prepare." As he watched Kitty begin the meal, there was no doubt in his mind he was going to stay with John now. Something was going on and he was going to find out just what in heaven's name it was.

After dinner Doc walked down to John's home. He knocked on the door and waited. "Galen, what a pleasant surprise. Please come in."

As they walked into the living room area Doc turned to John, "I've come to ask you a favor John."

"Oh? What is it?"

"Well, Maggie's sister is in town for the wedding and I felt that she should stay at Kitty's so I need a place to stay." He held up his hands, "now, John, if it will be any sort of inconvenience for you please I want you to tell me. I have no problem going to a hotel in town."

"Nonsense Galen, I would enjoy the company. Would you care for a drink since we are going to be roommates?"

"You keep this up and I might never leave!"

John laughed as he went to get the drinks. He sat across from Doc as they sipped from their glasses. "You've been missed at the Dillon house lately John."

"Well, that's very nice to know but I've been pretty busy lately."

Doc tugged on his ear, "I can see how that could happen. I hope you're not so busy that you can't come to the wedding."

John placed his glass on the table and stood. He paced, "about the wedding Galen…I'm not sure I'll be able to make it."

"Not make it? John you're one of my groomsmen. Why for heaven's sake?"

John continued to pace, "we're a little shorthanded at the hospital and I duly appointed myself as on call just in case a doctor can't make it and,"

Doc stood and walked over to John, "why don't you tell me what is really going on John."

"What makes you think anything is going on besides what I told you?"

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "because I know Kitty."

"What does Kitty have to do with this?"

"I have a feeling everything. When I mentioned that I would ask if I could stay with you there was a definite change in Kitty's facial expression. She was also very vague as to why you haven't been over to the house. John something is going on and I want you to tell me what it is." He took John by the arm, "did you try to get physical with Kitty is that what is going on?"

John bowed his head, "I love and respect her too much for that Galen."

"Then why don't we sit back down and talk this out."

John sat is his favorite chair across from the fireplace as he grabbed his drink. "There is this woman who I knew long ago. I helped her and her husband when he was dying. An old friend of mine owns a detective agency and I went to him when we were first looking for Matt."

Doc shook his head, "I remember."

"It turned out that Regina worked for him and I didn't see the harm of renewing old acquaintances…well…until it turned physical." John took a sip of his drink, "I know this is going to sound dreadful but all the while I was making love to her I was making love to Kitty. Unfortunately I didn't limit it to that one time. I loved the fantasy of having Kitty in my arms and making her feel wonderful but after awhile I realized this wasn't doing either one of us any good. She was falling more in love with me and all I could think of was Kitty. One Thanksgiving she tried to kill herself and my good friend Gerard asked that I no longer see her. That was the last time I saw her and I thought everything was resolved."

"Then what happened?"

John took another sip of his drink, "the other day she saw Kitty on the street and threatened to kill her if she didn't leave me alone so I've been seeing Regina the past couple of weeks."

"Oh."

What's worse is she was watching our every move. She knew when we were in Dodge and watched as we said good night to each other on the porch. Galen she saw Matt return that night. She watched him as Kitty and I said good night. If she had just said something…" He put his head back on the chair and closed his eyes. "I did this to myself, worse, I did it to Kitty. Matt would be back and she would be so very happy if it wasn't for me."

"Now, now, John, Matt has a hand in this too." He tugged his ear, "what are you going to do?"

"I don't know Galen. All I know is I need to keep Kitty safe."

"So that is why you can't come to the wedding?"

"Oh, no, she wants me to go to the wedding…with her. Galen I just can't take that chance."

Doc took a sip of his drink, "do you really have any other choice? I think you might need to take her to this. From what you tell me she doesn't seem too stable. It might even give her a strange sense of satisfaction if she believes that Kitty will be hurt when she sees Regina on your arm."

"Galen, I don't think I can go there and ignore Kitty. I know I'm going to want to speak with her, touch her, and be around her. I know that won't sit well with Reggie."

"So you're going to spend the rest of your life kowtowing to this woman?" Doing everything she says? John how are you going to live like that?

"I'm not sure Galen. I'm trying so very hard to come up with a plan to rid myself of her and make her believe it's her choice."

Doc nodded, "that's not going to be easy."

John took another sip of his drink, "I know."

Doc leaned back on the other chair, "I'd love to meet Regina. Get a chance to speak with her. Will you be bringing her over?"

"I wasn't going to. Truthfully I was going to use you as an excuse."

Doc raised his hands, "I don't need her coming after me!"

John smiled and shook his head, "she's too focused on Kitty to concern herself with anyone else."

"Well, thanks to your generosity, I will be here all week so bring her by anytime." Doc shook his head, "I'd like to get to know her a little better. It might be that we can come up with a plan together."

John nodded, "all right Galen, I'll set it up."

Two nights later Doc was reading a book of poetry sipping a brandy when John and Regina came through the front door. Doc put the book down and stood, "Galen, I would like you to meet Regina Lawrence."

Doc extended his hand, "how very nice to meet you Regina. Can I get you a drink?"

John walked toward the other room, "why don't you two make yourself comfortable and I'll pour the drinks." Doc sat in the chair and Regina sat on the sofa. When John entered the room Regina patted the seat next to her and John dutifully sat down. Regina began playing with the back of John's hair.

Doc took a sip of his drink, "you two have a good dinner?"

"Oh, it was excellent Galen. John certainly knows how to treat a woman and he always makes me feel like a queen." She kissed his cheek, "I really don't deserve this man."

John patted her leg, "now, now, Reggie I don't think Galen is very interested in that."

John tried to take away his hand but she kept it on her thigh, "so the big day is only a couple of days away?"

Doc nodded, "that's right."

"I've been trying to convince John that we really shouldn't miss the social event of the year."

"Well, it is to me, I'm not sure about everyone else."

She laid her hand on the inside of John's thigh, "from what I hear Mrs. Dillon throws some wonderful parties."

Doc took another sip of his drink, "she always has."

"Oh that's right. You and Mrs. Dillon go back a long way. I guess you remember her when she had to sell her wares to survive."

John's brow furrowed, "Regina!"

"Well…she was a saloon girl…wasn't she?"

Doc smiled, "I hate to disappoint you Mrs. Lawrence but Kitty wasn't that type of saloon girl."

"Oh, silly me, I thought there was only one type, my mistake." Regina thought a moment, "have they found Mr. Dillon yet?"

Doc shook his head, "no, we haven't."

Regina let out with a tsk. "It is such a shame how two people can grow so far apart and especially sad when there are children involved." She took a sip of her drink, "I sometimes pity her because she is not as lucky as I am to have such a loyal man who will never leave my side." She ran her hand down John's face, "but then again I don't need any other man. All I need is right here." She kissed his cheek again then turned to Doc. "Now Galen I am going to do my best to convince this stubborn man here that we should attend your wedding. It wouldn't be right not to go."

John stood and helped Regina off the sofa, "it's getting late dear and I have early morning rounds so I'll take you home."

She ran her hands down his chest, "we could save a lot of time and just stay here."

"We could but I'm afraid I wouldn't get much rest and I do have surgery tomorrow."

"I swear John you're the only doctor who works so hard. At some point you're going to have to cut back and spend more time with me. "

"They'll come a time Reggie...now say good night to Galen."

Doc rose from the chair and extended his hand, "it was very nice meeting you Regina."

"It was nice meeting you too." She leaned into Doc and whispered. "We'll be at your wedding…don't worry."

She walked in front of John as he turned back to Doc and the two men shared one last look before John and Regina left the house. Doc grabbed his glass off the table, walked into the next room, and refreshed his drink. He sat down and took a generous gulp and stared at the front door. Living in Dodge for so many years Doc could sense when trouble was brewing. As he threw down the rest of his drink he shook his head and thought. _If only Matt would come home, he'd know what to do._


	27. A Confirmed Bachelor Sheds His Status

It was a picture perfect October morning for Doc and Maggie's big day. As Kitty sat up in bed she stretched and smiled thankful that the weather was going to cooperate, one less thing she had to concern herself with. She smelt the bacon cooking downstairs and thinking it was Maggie she shook her head. She quickly threw on her robe and ran down the back staircase. Claire was standing at the stove preparing breakfast, "a fine host I am allowing my guest to make breakfast for my family."

Claire smiled, "I don't mind. After all I should do something to earn my keep while I'm staying in your lovely home."

Kitty returned the smile. "Well, that's just nonsense. I'm so glad to have you here to share in your sister's wedding day."

Claire sat down as Kitty moved toward the stove to turn the bacon. "There was a time that I thought I would never see her again. I'm so glad that everything worked out for us."

Kitty turned back to Claire, "me too. I know it means a lot to Maggie that you're here."

Claire stood, "I think the coffee is ready, would you like a cup?"

Kitty nodded, "that would be fine."

After handing the cup to Kitty Claire sat back down at the table. "Maggie mentioned that you all came from Dodge City?"

Kitty nodded, "yes we did."

"I heard a few stories about how wild and uncivilized the west is. I'm surprised that a woman would want to live there."

Kitty smiled, "I hadn't planned on it. I was just passing through but then I saw someone that I felt was worth staying for."

Claire nodded, "Maggie mentioned that your husband was the Marshal there."

"For more years then I care to count but we didn't marry until after I had moved here."

Claire took a sip of coffee, "you must have waited a number of years then."

Kitty turned to face Claire and smiled, "I would have waited forever."

Claire stared straight ahead, "I sometimes wonder if I'm that patient."

Kitty turned to see Claire in deep thought so she took the bacon off the flame and sat across from Claire, "what do you mean?"

Claire waved her hand, "oh, nothing, just girlhood dreams."

"I'm here to listen."

Claire took a deep breath, "Many years ago I was hired to clean the house for the doctor I work for now. He and his wife were very good to me and I really respected and admired them both. Over the years, he encouraged me to do something more with my life so I became a nurse and he offered me a job. A few years back his wife died and I guess he needed to talk so I was there to listen. We spent a lot of time together and at the time it filled my day so I didn't mind very much but as time went on I began to have feelings for him. Unfortunately, I don't think he feels the same way and only views me as a good friend. I invited him to the wedding but he was very vague on whether he would be able to attend." Claire shrugged, "oh well, I guess I just picked the wrong man to have feelings for."

Kitty reached across the table and grabbed her hand, "sometimes when men lose their wives it takes them a long time to get over that. I wouldn't dismiss him just yet. Sometimes the best relationships are the ones that start out as just good friends."

"Is that how it was for you?"

Kitty smiled, "yes, but make no mistake Matt had a wife too."

Claire looked wide eyed, "did she die also?"

Kitty chuckled, "no, I was referring to his badge. You see, he informed me very early on that his job was extremely dangerous and that he probably wouldn't live very long so being in any kind of relationship other than friends would not be good for either of us." She shrugged, "so that's what I was…just his good friend."

"What changed that?"

Kitty smiled as she recalled that evening, "when he was in town he would walk me home from the Long Branch every night, then when we arrived at the boarding house he would say good night, tip his hat, and leave. This one night he grabbed my arm as I turned to walk away and he asked if we could walk for a little while longer. We walked along in silence for awhile and then he abruptly led me into a darkened alley. Once we were out of sight he held me in the longest kiss I had ever known. He apologized after that," Kitty stared off into space, "he had this boyish look about him that just melted my heart." Kitty waved her hand, "anyway, I told him he had nothing to be sorry for and pulled him into a kiss." Kitty shook her head, "I'll never forget that night for as long as I live." She smiled, "needless to say the days of our being just friends was over."

"But he didn't marry you until after you moved here?"

Kitty nodded, "as time went on Matt thought it wise that we didn't outwardly express how much in love we were. He was under the impression that I would be safer that way. Believe me Claire it was the worse kept secret in town, probably the whole county for that matter, and I really wasn't any more secure but I think it made Matt feel better keeping it private. Besides, I knew he loved me and quite frankly I didn't need a piece of paper or some words said over us to make me feel any more married to Matt then I did and I know Matt felt the same way."

"Then why did you get married?"

"I was having Matthew so I moved down here and once Matt was able to retire he joined me."

"But he's not here now?"

Kitty shook her head, "that's a long story and one that we don't have time to get into at the moment, let's just say I hope to have him home someday soon."

"I hope so. I'd love to meet him."

Kitty patted Claire's hand, "now if I don't get a move on we're not going to have breakfast at all this morning."

Claire stood with Kitty, "let me do something."

Kitty smiled, "I'll finish the bacon and when everyone starts descending into the kitchen you can help with the eggs."

"Deal," Claire sat back down and finished her coffee.

Doc stood in the doorway of the kitchen watching John sipping his cup of coffee in deep thought. As he eyed his good friend, he couldn't remember a moment when John ever looked so dispirited. The past few years with Kitty and the children had brought out the best in John and Doc had never seen him happier…that was until Regina. To look at him now was to slowly watch the life drain out of him as he merely went through the motions. Doc shook his head, "good morning John."

John looked up and smiled weakly, "good morning Galen, sleep well?"

Doc poured a cup of coffee, "as a matter of fact I did." He shook his head, "I just can't believe I'm getting married today," he tugged on his ear, "I never thought I'd ever find a woman who'd want to put up with me."

John took another sip of coffee, "I'm very happy for you Galen, Maggie is a wonderful woman."

Doc wore a huge grin, "I know she is and I'm going to make her happy every day of her life."

John put his cup down, "it wasn't so many years ago that I had another prospective groom sitting in that very chair on his wedding day."

Doc took a sip of coffee, "Matt?"

John smiled, "yep, Matt. He wasn't nervous either as I recall." John stood and paced, "I guess I wouldn't be nervous either if I was about to make Kitty my own."

Doc's eyes followed John, "I am sorry for the way things have turned out John. I hope you know that."

John shook his head, "I know. I did this to myself Galen and I'll have to live with it."

"I hope you have changed your mind and are going to be there with me today."

John turned back toward Doc, "normally there would be no question about my being there but you have to understand the trepidation I feel especially with Kitty standing across from me and Regina watching us thinking heaven knows what."

Doc shook his head, "I understand but this was her idea…was it not?"

John nodded, "oh yes. She wouldn't leave me alone until I said that I would go." He grabbed his cup off the table to pour more coffee, "that's what also concerns me. Why does she want to go so badly?" He showed the pot to Doc, "freshen your cup?"

Doc nodded, "thank you." Doc waited until he finished pouring. "John I don't think Regina is going to start any trouble."

John sat back down, "that's just it Galen I have no way of knowing. It was one of the reasons I didn't want to go. I don't want anything to ruin this day for you."

Doc waved his hand, "don't worry about that. Absolutely nothing can ruin this day for me."

John took another sip of coffee, "it's going to be so hard seeing Kitty again knowing how much I want to be with her and touch her." John's fist slammed on the table, "I hate this woman Galen, unadulterated hate!" John quickly got to his feet and began to pace, "there are days I really want to strangle her but I know I can't instead I have to continue to play the lover role. I'm repulsed by her, the sound of her voice, her touch, when we're in bed," John turned back to Doc, "especially when we're in bed. I just want to scream but I have to continue with this charade because if anything happened to Kitty," John paused to control his emotions, "well…my life would be over."

Doc stood and put his hand on John's back, "John, we're going to get you out of this somehow." Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "I don't know how yet but I promise you we will."

John ran his hand through his hair, "Galen, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"This is your wedding day and I'm unloading all of my problems off on you."

Doc shook his head, "John, we've been friends an awful long time and I'm not going to stand by and see you suffer and not do anything about it. It doesn't matter how you got into this we'll find a way out…I promise you." Doc looked at his watch, "now, I think this particular bridegroom better get himself ready. Thanks for the coffee." John smiled as he watched Doc walk away.

Kitty was in the backyard making last minute adjustments to the decorations when Doc arrived. She walked over to her good friend, "well…don't you look handsome."

Doc brushed his hands against the fabric, "I feel very handsome too!" He looked around the yard, "by golly Kitty this is so beautiful, so very beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it. I just want everything to go well for you and Maggie today."

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "well…you really outdid yourself this time, I'll tell you that." Kitty smiled as the jangling of spurs interrupted their conversation. "Oh good heavens where did you think you were coming to a barn dance? Get them things off right this minute!"

Festus put his hands up, "now take it easy there Doc. I'm a gonna' take 'em off. Didn't have time this mornin'."

Kitty put her arm around Doc's shoulders, "you have to admit Curly he looks pretty good in that suit and," Kitty stared a moment, "Festus did you shave for the occasion?"

Festus nodded as he ran his hand over his beardless face, "couldn't be lookin' stragerly for Doc's weddin' 'n all."

"See there Doc he even shaved for you."

"Oh don't ya go tryin' ta make that ol' sourpuss 'preciate what some people do fer him Miss Kitty. It ain't never gonna' do no good, not even on his weddin' day."

Doc stared at Festus for a moment, "you know Kitty he's right. I should have commented on his suit and the fact that he shaved. Now all he needs is a lily in his hands and he'll be all set." Doc could hardly get that last sentence out through his laughter.

Kitty slapped Doc's arm, "he he he…last time I'm gonna' do somethin' nice fer ya…ya ornery ole' scudder."

Doc looked at Kitty's face glaring at him and then he stepped toward Festus, "you're right Festus, you have gone above and beyond what I ever expected you to do for my wedding day and I appreciate it." Doc extended his hand, "thank you."

Festus waved his hand then shook Doc's, "it wern't nothin' Doc."

Kitty looked around the yard, "well…it looks like the men are here so I think I'll go get the ladies."

Doc grabbed Kitty's arm, "I think we better wait for my other groomsmen to get here before we start the ceremony."

Kitty waved her hand, "oh, yes, of course. Well I should be getting upstairs and help dress the bride anyway, if you will excuse me."

Doc and Festus watched as she left the yard, "what's goin' on wit' Miss Kitty, Doc? She seems kinda skittery lately."

"She has a lot on her mind Festus. She'll be all right once my wedding is over. Now, let's go take our places."

Kitty walked into Maggie's room, "oh Maggie, you look absolutely gorgeous."

"Thank you Miss Kitty. I just want everything to be just right today."

Kitty put her hands on her shoulders, "and it will be. I have to go dress the children but I'll be back in a little while."

Lilting music played as Kitty made her way down the aisle. She could see Regina in the yard but she kept her head forward and made her way toward the tent. She stared across at John and gave him a weak smile. He looked down, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. He had watched her from the moment she left the house. Her statuesque body looked so beautiful in a scooped neck dark royal blue taffeta gown. He was mesmerized for a fleeting moment but quickly looked away when he remembered Regina was watching his every move.

After Claire walked down the aisle Kitty's attention was on her children. She smiled as Katie came next wearing a white cotton dress with a dark royal blue floral pattern with a matching royal blue sash. How adorable she was as she took one step, paused, and then took another step all the while meticulously throwing rose pedals on the white linen. Matthew was next as he delicately balanced the rings on the pillow. He was such a handsome little man in his suit and as he made his way toward them she wondered if Matt had looked like that as a child. She sighed as she thought how proud she was and how proud Matt would be if he was home. The musical cue brought Maggie down the aisle in a beautiful pale blue silk blend suit. The skirt was mid-calf, the white embroidered back buttoned high necked blouse peeked through the impeccably tailored jacket and the small pillbox hat with veil topped off her wedding ensemble. She was an absolute vision as she approached Doc and he tried very hard to keep the tears welling in his eyes from spilling over. He took her hand and smiled as the Mayor began the ceremony. After exchanging the rings and the pronouncement of man and wife Doc stopped the proceedings. "Before we leave I would like to say something. I have to thank my good friend John Chapman for this because he was gracious enough to share his home with me this week and while I was there I read a book of poetry I found on his shelf. I would like to recite an excerpt from one of the poems that I think is very appropriate for today." He ran his hand over his moustache, "I just hope I'm going to be able to remember it," the few assembled chuckled and then he turned back to Maggie and took her two hands in his.

_I __carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)_

_I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done __  
__by only me is your doing, my darling) __  
I__ fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)_

_I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true) __  
__and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant __  
__and whatever a sun will always sing is you_

Maggie's tears were streaming down her face as Doc cupped her head with his hands and kissed her. The Mayor looked at the happy couple and smiled, "well, I guess there is nothing left for me to say. He's already kissing the bride!" The musician began the recessional song and Doc and Maggie walked back to the house. Kitty looked at John then she took Katie and Matthew by the hand and followed behind the happy couple. John then followed alone.

After the ceremony they all headed for _**Russell's**_ for a lavish reception. Kitty had closed the restaurant for the day but had given all her regular customers invitations to help them celebrate the marriage of her good friends. The place was full, the liquor flowed, and the food was fit for a king. A string quartet played the night away in the corner of the room. Doc noticed Kitty from across the room and pulled her aside, "before the evening gets away from me I want to thank you so very much for making today a day that I will never forget."

Kitty cupped Doc's face with her hand, "I'm so happy for you Curly. I'm just glad that you and Maggie are having a good time."

Doc winked, "the best!"

At the opposite end of the room the children found John and ran to him. Matthew spoke first, "Uncle John, we've missed you."

Katie shook her head, "our Pop Pop reads to us at night but he's not as good as you."

John couldn't resist and picked Katie up and sat her on his lap, "Katie, Matthew, I've missed you too but remember when I told you that sometimes doctors get very busy?" The both shook their heads, "well, that's what happened to your Uncle John. I've been very busy down at the hospital." He hugged Katie, "but one day I'll be back reading to you again…OK?" He held her for a moment and then placed her back on the floor, "you look very pretty today Katie."

She looked down at her dress and back up at him, "thank you Uncle John."

"And Matthew you look so handsome."

Matthew scratched his head, a look of annoyance across his face, "Mommy says I have to wear this all day."

John smiled, "well, your Mommy is right." He then leaned forward and whispered. "But the day is almost over." Matthew smiled. "Now, why don't you two go over and get something to eat and I'll see you later…all right?" They both ran off and John stared and smiled as he watched them disappear into the crowd.

"John, dear, do you think it wise to give those poor rag a muffins hope?"

John looked over at Regina and frowned, "what is it now Reggie?"

"You told them that you would be reading to them again one day. Now we both know that is never going to happen."

John looked in their direction, "what was I suppose to tell them?" He turned back to Regina, "I'm not a dream crusher Reggie but I guess that comes easy to you."

Regina moved her chair closer to John and stroked his face, "the truth never hurts anyone my dear."

John took a deep breath, "Reggie what good would it have done to tell them I was never going to see them again unless to feed your own sadistic need to hurt Kitty and her children."

Regina laughed then held John in a kiss, "one day my love," she waved her hand, "this will all be behind you, this place, those fatherless runny nose kids, and your precious Kitty. You think she loved you? Why I bet before the night is out she'll be working on another man to take care of those brats." She played with John's hair as she stared into his eyes, "don't worry about your Kitty. I'll put money on she'll have another man taking your place in her bed tonight John."

He gripped her arm, "Reggie I'm warning you."

She ran her hand along his thigh, "Let's not fight John, especially not over someone like her."

John let go of her arm, "there's no need for you to talk about her like that. You win, I'm here with you."

She smiled, "yes, you are." She looked across the room, "maybe what we should do is congratulate the hostess on a wonderful party."

John frowned, "Reggie, there's no need to rub her face in it…is there?"

Regina feigned surprise, "what do you mean? I'm just trying to be nice just as you asked me to." She pulled his arm, "come on let's go over."

As they were making their way toward Kitty the sound of clinking glasses garnered their attention. Kitty had stealthy watched the exchange between John and Regina. He seemed to be upset about something and she was plying him with kisses and intimate touches. She saw them coming in her direction and decided now would be a great time for a toast. Sam and Festus worked in tandem to quiet the crowd as she quickly collected her thoughts. As the room became silent she began. "I first want to thank everyone for coming today. I know it means a lot to the bride and groom to have you all here to celebrate a very momentous day. I wanted to have an opportunity to toast my good friends, Doc and Maggie, before the night flew by. I would especially like to take this time to repay Doc for all the kind words he said at my wedding reception."

Doc looked at Maggie as he swiped his moustache, "this I'm going to enjoy!"

Kitty smiled, "well, it won't be as wonderfully expressive as yours but I'll give it a try." Kitty looked down and paused, "you see Doc and I go way back. I was a very young woman when I arrived in Dodge, not much money to my name, and absolutely no friends. I was able to get a job at the Long Branch saloon and Doc was my first customer." She raised her hands, "now before any of you get the wrong idea I just sold him a drink!"

The crowd laughed as Doc spoke. "Couldn't you have left the impression in their minds that we shared more than a drink for goodness sake?"

"Now, Doc, your bride is sitting right there! I don't think she really needs to hear all the sordid details…now does she?" She gave him a wink as the guests continued to laugh. As the laughter subsided Kitty continued. "Anyway I was a little nervous that first night but Doc quickly put me at ease. We shared a drink and as we talked I came to realize that he was the kindest gentlemen I had ever met. Every night he would come in around the same time, have the same drink, and we would talk the night away. I considered myself very lucky to have met Doc for you see the other girls at the saloon were not treated as well as me. Women in our occupation, whether we took the cowboys upstairs or just served them drinks, were painted with the same broad brush but with Doc as my friend I was viewed as someone pretty special. So special in fact that the town Marshal struck up a friendship with me, mostly at Doc's urging. We were quite the foursome in those days, me, Matt, Doc, and Chester and we did everything together." Kitty paused as she tried to keep her tears at bay, "Doc has seen me through some tough times and some pretty wonderful ones too and I wouldn't be standing here today without his expert counsel, healing hands, and comforting hugs. I haven't known Maggie as long but she has become an irreplaceable friend and family member. I don't know what I would have done without her these past few years. She means everything to me and my family and the fact that she has found happiness with a man that I dearly love makes me so very happy." As Kitty spoke, Sam and Festus distributed glasses of champagne to the guests. She turned to take hers off the bar and then faced the crowd with a raised glass. "To Doc and Maggie Adams, may you always be happy, may your lives be long, and may the love you feel today never be forgotten." She sipped her drink as the rest of the celebrants followed suit. She watched as well wishes stopped at Doc and Maggie's table and she smiled. As always, during these special occasions, she thought about Matt. He would have been so happy for Doc and Maggie and he especially would have loved to have given the toast. She shook her head as she thought, _if only he had stepped out of the shadows that night_.

She was lost in her thoughts when she thought she heard someone say something. She turned to see Regina in front of her, "Mrs. Dillon, I didn't know you were such an eloquent public speaker. I would be remiss if I didn't stop by to let you know how much we enjoyed your little trip down memory lane. Must have been such good times back then…I'm almost sorry I missed them."

Kitty smiled, "I'm sorry too Mrs. Lawrence, Dodge definitely needed your kind of drama to really make it a complete town."

Regina chuckled, "Oh Kitty, I just don't know how your husband could have left you with your unique sense of humor."

Kitty gave her a grin, "well, Regina, at least I have one." She looked at John, "wouldn't you say John?"

John gave her a warm smile, "you always did Kitty."

"In fact, this is the first time I've seen him smile tonight. Maybe you should make a point to hone your humor skill. It just might make the man in your life a little happier."

John wore a grin which didn't escape Regina's notice. "Maybe so dear but unlike you I know how to keep a man."

"You're right about that Regina a good threat can go a long way." She looked back at John.

Ignoring Kitty's comment she quickly changed the subject, "ah, but Kitty, I'm the one who has Dr. Chapman at my side." Kitty's eyes met John's as Regina looked around the room holding his arm tighter. "And, I believe, he is the most handsome man here this evening." Regina smiled, "wouldn't you agree Mrs. Dillon?"

Kitty smiled, "you do look very handsome tonight John." He returned her smile.

"And do you know what the best part is Mrs. Dillon?" Kitty kept her eyes on John as Regina ran her hand across his chest. "I get to go home with this handsome creature. Why I'm sure that I'm the envy of all the women here tonight," she stared at Kitty, "probably even you Mrs. Dillon." Regina let out with a huge sigh, "oh, I suppose we've taken up enough of your time as it is so just in case we don't get a chance to say goodnight later I'll do it now." She leaned in to kiss Kitty on the cheek and whispered, "I hope you won't be too lonely in bed tonight my dear, I know I won't." She leaned back and smiled then turned and took John by the arm for a dance. Kitty watched them for a moment and her heart ached for him. She had no idea how she could help John all she knew was she just had to try.

The guests had left the restaurant leaving behind the wedding party, all except John. Doc laid his arm around Maggie's chair and she laid her head on his shoulder. Kitty was coming down from the second floor after putting the children to bed and sat down at their table, "Miss Kitty, thank you for giving us a most beautiful day."

Kitty smiled, "I'm so glad everything turned out so well." She looked in the direction of the bar, "Sam, can we have a round of drinks here?"

Doc put his hand up, "None for me Kitty, I think I'm going to take my bride home now and we both are going to sleep for days."

"You can sleep for days if you like but you won't be going home." She stood and waved for them to follow her. Outside the building was a coach ready to take them to the Chateau Hotel. "Doc, help your bride into the coach. The driver knows where to go." Sam came up behind them with a jar full of rice and passed it around to those assembled. They all grabbed a handful and threw it in the newlywed's direction. As the coach pulled away they all waved goodbye until they disappeared from sight. As they entered the restaurant Kitty looked back at Sam. "OK Sam let's have another round."

Claire waved off another drink, "not for me Miss Kitty. I think I'm going to head on home."

"There's a coach outside for you too Claire. I'll be staying here tonight."

She grabbed Kitty in a hug, "thank you so much for thinking of everything. My sister was so very happy today."

"Your being here made her the happiest of all." Kitty walked her to the coach and then waved goodbye. She came back into the building and walked over to Festus, "Festus, surely you won't turn me down!"

Festus shook his head, "I'm plum tuckered out Miss Kitty. I just couldn't get 'nother drop down this here ol' goozler."

Kitty picked her hand up and showed her thumb and forefinger an inch apart and winked, "just this much, come on Festus, this much?"

"I hate to go a disppointin' ya Miss Kitty but I think it best ifn' I go ta bed." Festus made his way toward the stairs and then quickly turned back toward Kitty, "I wouldn't mind it much ifn' I could have that drink tamorrow."

Kitty smiled, "it'll be here for you Festus."

"Much obliged, see ya in the mornin'."

"Good night Festus," she turned to Sam, "what'd ya say Sam have a nightcap with me?"

"I think I've reached my limit too Miss Kitty. I have a few things to set up for tomorrow so I don't mind stayin' with ya if ya want a nightcap."

Kitty raised her hand, "no, you go ahead Sam. Finish up what you were doing."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

"OK then," Sam locked the front door and then made his way down to the basement with an empty keg of beer. Kitty stood in the middle of the room all alone for a moment. An overwhelming feeling of loneliness overtook her as she slowly made her way up to the second floor. She stood in the children's room and watched them sleep for awhile then she walked across to her bedroom, changed into her nightgown, and climbed into bed. Recently her nights of dreaming about Matt were replaced by nights of reassessment. Matt was never going to come home, she was almost certain of that now, and at some point she was going to have to find a man to be a father to their children. They loved John and seeing how dependent they were on him she was sure they needed a man in their life but thanks to Regina he was no longer an option. They would always have Doc and Festus but they were more grandfather and uncle then a dad. She knew she could never love another man again like she loved Matt but she had come to the conclusion she had to do what was best for their children. There would be no other man who could ever make her feel like Matt did and the thought of someone touching her in such an intimate way sickened her. She tossed and turned for another hour before her eyes became heavy and she finally fell to sleep.

Matt lay on his mat staring up at the darkened ceiling in his room. Lately, he had been giving his decision to leave New Orleans that night a lot of thought. There was no denying he would always love Kitty for there wasn't a day that went by he didn't think about her or a night that he didn't ache to be lying in her arms. He didn't blame her for falling in love again; after all he was away for three years without any word. He deserted her and his children, plain and simple, but she would always be his life and no other woman would ever take her place. He more than understood why she was with John after all he was always there when she needed him. John took care of her while he was still in Dodge, he found her a place to live, he was there for Matthew's birth and subsequent illness but most importantly he's been there for the children. He has been a father to them and, knowing John the way he does, he's been giving them all the love and security children need. Matt clearly remembers what having a father home means to a little boy and as much as he longs to be the father in their life again he has come to the conclusion that entering the picture now would do them more harm than good. He reached out and clutched the pictures of Matthew and Katie tightly to his chest and as he fell to sleep that night he could only imagine how they would feel lying securely in his arms.

John's eyes were focused on the hypnotic flame emanating from the candle Regina lit to create a romantic mood. She lay sound asleep, head on his shoulder, arm tightly across his chest, leg strategically situated between his legs. This was just another night in long string of nights he hadn't slept well and it was beginning to affect his ability to be an effective doctor. He would arrange to sleep at the hospital on occasion but that usually created a huge argument with Regina as she was certain he wanted to sneak off and see Kitty. A smile creased his face when he thought about the love of his life. He wondered if she too was awake because her life was as empty as his. The morning he almost made love to her in Dodge often played in his mind and he wondered if she looked back on that moment as fondly as he always had. No woman had ever made him feel like she did and there was no doubt in his mind that one day he would be rid of Regina and back in Kitty's life again. He looked at the window and noticed the night was slowly disappearing. Soon he would be able to leave this woman's clutches and take back his life…if only for a short period of time. He looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. Regina began to stir and John closed his eyes dreading what was going to transpire when she awoke. He swallowed hard when he felt her lips kissing his neck and her hand slowly running down his chest passed his waist. He jumped slightly at her attempt to arouse him. "What's the matter dear, did I startle you? You seem to be a little jumpy this morning."

"I was asleep Reggie, I guess someone grabbing me intimately when I didn't expect it made me react that way."

She moved on top of his body as she pulled him into a kiss, "I wouldn't exactly classify myself as just someone besides I would think my touch would be too pleasurable for you to want to pull away."

"Why do you always do this?"

Regina looked confused, "because I love you."

"Reggie this isn't love, this is blackmail. Can't you just let things go along and if something happens between us, then it will happen."

She removed her body from his and laid down next to him in silence. They both lay there staring up at the ceiling until he spoke, "I should get up and head to the hospital."

As he attempted to leave she grabbed his arm, "you loved me last night…you didn't pull away then. What changed this morning?"

John was beginning to lose his temper as he turned back to her, "oh for goodness sake Reggie why do you put so much emphasis on my making love to you?"

She looked into his eyes, "it's her isn't it?"

John took a deep breath, "who?"

"You know who."

John let out with an exasperated sigh, "Reggie I'm here with you. I've been here with you. I've done everything you've asked and if this is going to work I need some freedom. You're suffocating me, can't you see that?"

Regina sat up, "I'm sure you wouldn't want your freedom if she was lying in bed next to you!"

John quickly stood up and turned back toward her as he looked for his clothes, "do you know what the difference is Reggie? If I was with Kitty I wouldn't want my freedom because I would be free. She wouldn't enslave me; I could give her my love freely. I would want to be there because she wouldn't demand that I should be. You might take some lessons from that!"

Regina sprung to her knees as they sunk into the mattress, "and what would I learn? Oh, yes, I forgot…perfection." She sneered, "I guess that's why her husband left her for the vast wilderness, so much for freedom John." She reached her hands toward him, "at least you know I care about you, want you here with me, love you."

"That's what I'm talking about Reggie. Kitty allows the choice to be mine. What good would it have done if she made Matt stay with her if he was so unhappy?"

"Oh…so you know he was unhappy?"

John shook his head, "Reggie you're twisting everything I say." He took a deep breath, "I just can't reason with you."

Regina began to raise her voice, "I suppose you always reasoned with her…little Miss Perfect!" She inched closer to John, "well I'll tell you something John she will never love you the way I do but I see now I can't verbally make you believe that."

She moved to get off the bed, "where are you going?"

"What I should have done when I had her in the alley." She walked toward her closet, "kill her."

John whirled her around to face him, "I'm not going to let you do that Reggie."

"You don't have a choice in this John. You love her and as long as she is living we can never have a moment's peace."

He took the article of clothing from her hand and threw it on the bed. "I said you are not going anywhere!"

The rage in John's eyes was equally matched by the look in Regina's, "I'm going to kill your whore John and I'm going to watch the life drain from her useless body."

John grabbed her wrists, "I'm warning you Reggie, you go near Kitty and I'll kill you!"

She tried to free herself from his grip, "let me go John." She managed to slip from his hold and as she tried to flee the room he grabbed her by the waist. She kicked to free herself and he flung her on the bed. She was stunned for a second which gave him enough time to pounce on top of her. He held her down at the wrists and loomed over her. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment as they both tried to catch their breath and it was then that John realized he had never felt so aroused. His mouth crashed down on hers as she slowly stopped struggling and wrapped her arms around his neck enjoying his frenzied pace. They fell exhausted on the mattress after the most intense love making either could recall. John looked over at Regina and turned on his side. He brushed strains of hair away from her face and gently kissed her forehead. She smiled as he took her in his arms and held her tight all the while lightly stroking her back. Within a matter of minutes they contently fell asleep.

Doc turned on his side, head leaning against his upright arm, looking down at his sleeping bride. He had come close to marriage before but this time was beyond compare. He couldn't live without Maggie and the fact that he was no longer alone filled his heart with joy. She was an amazing woman and he considered himself the luckiest man in the world that she fell in love with him. He smiled as he watched her sleeping so peacefully and hoped that he had made all of her dreams come true. He lay back down on the mattress and took a deep breath. He was staring off into space when Maggie woke. She smiled and turned to kiss his neck, "and what do you think you're doing?"

"What does it feel like I'm doing?"

"Trying to distract me from solving all the problems in the world, that's what you're doing."

Maggie raised an inquisitive brow, "oh…the whole world?"

Doc looked sheepishly at Maggie, "well…no…not the whole world…just our little world here."

Maggie laid her head on Doc's shoulder and held him close, "what's wrong with our little world?"

Doc hugged her, "our little world is just fine thank you," he kissed her, "I'm talking about the Kitty, John, Regina triangle."

She looked up at him, "oh, I was wondering who that woman was with Dr. John. I was so surprised knowing how much he loves Miss Kitty."

Doc shook his head, "it's not really his choice."

"What do you mean?"

Doc took a deep breath, "it's a very long story but suffice to say Regina is someone John knew a while ago and she doesn't like the idea that John and Kitty have become very close so if John continues to see Kitty…well…Regina has promised to kill her."

Maggie shot up off of Doc's chest, "oh no Galen who could ever think of killing Miss Kitty?"

"This deranged woman could." He pulled Maggie back into his arms and kissed her, "We're not going to worry about this now. For the next week my only concern is you."

She smiled as she snuggled close to his body, "that sounds wonderful."

He rubbed her back, "you know the one thing we didn't discuss was how we'll spend our honeymoon?"

"Galen, do you think we should go away with everything that is going on?"

He held her tight, "as long as John and Kitty remain apart everything will be just fine until we get back."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive…now where do you want to go my love?"

"Oh Galen, I've always wanted to take a trip on the Mississippi by steamboat."

"All right, steamboat it is! First, we'll have breakfast and then we'll go book our passage."

"I love you so much Galen."

He ran his hand through her hair, "I love you too Margaret."

John sat in his office, pen twirling between his two hands, deep in thought. He had come into the office early so he could have some time alone before he started his day. He thought back to earlier in the morning and it worried him that his behavior was so out of character. It frightened him to think he was capable of such rage and that he could be so out of control…so opposite the life he had with Kitty. He smiled; just the thought of her put him at peace immediately. He leaned back in his chair, put his feet up on his desk, and dreamed. That's what she was a dream, a fantasy. He never doubted for a moment that Kitty cared deeply for him but…he wasn't Matt. Once the winter passed he knew Festus would be on his way back north again and most likely would bring Matt home this time. That was who she loved and would love forever. That was the man she wanted to make love to…not him. He was able to accept being her friend when she first came to town but not now. He loved her as fiercely as she loved Matt and being her friend was no longer possible. It would hurt too much to see them together again when the sight of her would stir a yearning in him that he wouldn't be able to quench. He ran his hands across his face then stared at the wall. He removed his feet from the desk and walked over to the window. He stood for a long period of time watching people going about their daily lives when he felt tears welling in his eyes. He slowly wiped them away with his finger and took a deep breath. He had to stop thinking about Kitty but he knew the moment he did that he would lose his very heart and soul.

A week after the wedding, a coach stood waiting outside the house to take Claire to the dock. Kitty and the children walked her out to the porch where they said their goodbyes. "Miss Kitty I had the most enjoyable time here with you and the children. You are such a gracious hostess and I only hope one day I can repay your kindness."

Kitty smiled, "it was my pleasure Claire. I only hope now that you know where we live you'll come visit us often."

Claire nodded, "and I'd love for you to come to Biloxi one day."

Kitty looked down at the children, "well, maybe when they're a little older. It's not easy traveling alone with four children."

"I understand…well…I guess I better get going." Claire leaned down to hug the children and then she did the same to Kitty.

Kitty looked at Claire, "and don't give up on Dr. Reilly just yet. I have a feeling after this trip he might begin to see things differently."

Claire smiled, "I hope so Kitty, I really do."

She climbed into the coach and Kitty and the children waved goodbye until the coach was out of sight. She led them back into the house as Katie looked up at her mother. "We're all alone in this big house now Mommy."

Kitty smiled, "well…not for very long Katie. Your Pop Pop and Aunt Maggie will be coming home soon and you still have your Uncle Festus who stops by for a little while every day."

Katie shook her head, "it's not the same though Mommy."

Matthew shook his head to agree. "Yeah Mommy, how come Uncle John doesn't come here anymore?"

Kitty sat on the sofa and the children sat around her. "You see Matthew your uncle has gotten very busy down at the hospital. They really need your uncle there in the evenings to help out."

"Then how come he doesn't see us during the day?"

Kitty ran her hand over his hair, "he has to see his regular patients then but I'm sure when he gets a few moments free he'll stop by and see us all again. Just you wait and see."

"I hope so Mommy because I like it when Uncle John is here."

Kitty hugged her son, "I do too Matthew. Now, why don't you go and wash up and I'll start lunch…OK?"

They all ran to the back room as Kitty followed. After they disappeared into the wash room, she stood for a moment and scanned the rooms before she walked into the library area and sat down. Once the winter passed, Festus had planned to search for Matt again and although she would love nothing more than to be lying in his arms again she feared Matt would refuse to come home. She was certain whatever made him leave town that night was sure to keep him away. She thought a lot recently about Matthew's conversation with Doc and although the children remind her every day how much they miss John it could just be having a father in their life is what they miss the most. For weeks now her dreams have been haunted by the same thought, to find a loving man for her children. As the children ran back into the room and took their places at the table she took a deep breath as she stared at them for a moment. If Festus was unsuccessful again in his attempt to find Matt she vowed she would seriously go about giving the children what they so desperately need. She would do anything to make their lives right again even if it meant marrying someone she didn't love. As she began to prepare lunch she hoped it would never come to that.


	28. Newborns, Happiness, And Promises

It was a mild January by northern Colorado standards. Running Fox paced in front of the hearth as the cries of his wife were heard throughout the cabin. Matt's eyes moved from side to side following his friend's every movement, "Running Fox, she is going to be all right. I know it's hard to hear but it's the way women need to be when they're giving birth." The Indian looked over at Matt then continued pacing. Matt looked down as he recalled Katie's birth, "It wasn't easy seeing Kitty in so much pain but she was fine and Little Fawn will be too."

Running Fox threw his hands up, "why it take so long?"

Matt chuckled, "I don't have an answer for that but hopefully it won't be much longer."

They looked at each other at the sound of a baby's wail and Running Fox ran into the next room. He emerged with his son in his arms. Matt walked over as the Indian showed the baby to his father. He turned to Matt to show him the boy, "my son."

Matt looked down and smiled, "and a handsome son he is."

Running Fox was beaming with pride, "he grow to be good man like father and father's father."

Matt nodded, "no doubt in my mind he will. He's got a good teacher by golly."

An Indian woman approached both men, "wacin ekta aya o opa la, wacin ina wana."

Running Fox gave the baby to the Indian woman then looked up at Matt, "must be with mother."

Matt smiled and nodded, "I remember."

The Indian waved his arm, "come, we celebrate."

He grabbed the jug and poured Matt a drink. Matt raised his cup, "to my good friends on the birth of their first born son with many more to come." Matt grinned when he thought he saw Running Fox blush as they downed their drink. "What will you name him?"

"My father name boy after watching him for long time." He poured Matt another drink. "We name him boy, must watch to know who boy is."

Matt nodded, "I thought that was how it went."

Running Fox pointed to Matt. "How you name boy?"

"Most times after the father or grandfather."

"How you so sure that is right name?"

Matt took a sip of his drink, "we don't worry about that I guess."

The Indian thought for a moment then shrugged, "huh."

As Matt stared off into space he thought about Matthew. As he slowly sipped his drink he realized that John, not he, would be the male influence in his son's life. He placed the cup on the table and stood. Without a word he grabbed his coat, opened the door, and then sat down on the porch steps. What he didn't need was for them to see his tears.

Saint Patrick's Day was an even more joyous occasion than normal. Besides being the twins third birthday, their Uncle Newly had arrived. Sincerely apologetic for missing Doc's wedding he came bearing gifts. Maggie opened the first present, "Galen isn't this beautiful?"

He tugged on his ear. "What is it?"

Maggie hit his arm, "you know what it is. It's a gorgeous silver serving platter."

Newly nodded. "Do you really like it?"

Maggie handed the serving platter to Doc then walked over to Newly and gave him a big hug and kiss. "We love it!"

She looked back at Doc for further affirmation, "oh…yes…by golly it's really something."

Maggie waved her hand, "oh, don't mind him he wouldn't know quality if it hit him square in the eyes."

Doc grabbed her as she sat back down, "I don't know if that's so true. I did marry you and there's no higher quality of woman that I know of than my Margaret."

She kissed him, "you say the nicest things Galen."

"It's easy with you as my wife." He returned the kiss.

Newly smiled, "I don't know if I can get use to this here…new Doc."

Doc tugged on his ear as he chuckled, "well…it's a good thing for me I don't have to worry about that."

Newly pointed in Doc's direction, "ah, now, that's the Doc I know!"

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "well…never you mind you young whippersnapper. I can still teach you a thing or two."

Newly chuckled. "No doubt at all that you can Doc."

Maggie nudged Doc, "Newly gave us another gift Galen." She removed the wrapping from the box, "oh look Galen…a silver picture frame. We can put our wedding picture in there."

Newly nodded. "Yes ma'am. I was kinda hoping you didn't have one."

"Well, we don't. Thank you so much Newly."

Newly put his head down, "I was really sorry I had to miss the wedding but it couldn't be helped."

Maggie stood as she waved her hand, "Newly the important thing is you're here with us now so, if you will excuse me, I'm going to show Miss Kitty the extravagant gifts you gave us and let you and Galen have a little time for some men talk."

Doc and Newly stood and watched her walk away. Newly looked over at Doc, "Doc, I've never seen you so happy."

They sat back down, "I've never been so happy and Newly you really overdid it on the gifts."

"Doc it was the least I could do. I felt so bad missing the big day."

"So how is Dodge these days?"

Newly settled back on the sofa. "Much the same since you left although it seemed there were fewer drovers in town this year. Of course, we still have the occasional gunman and some bank robberies but Alex has been pretty good at keeping the town safe."

Doc tugged on his ear, "how badly was he hurt?"

Newly shook his head, "we really thought we were going to lose him this time. Between you and me Doc I think he's lost the desire to be Marshal."

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "smart boy."

"Truth be told, he's been seeing a little gal from the Long Branch and she was pretty shaken up over him being shot. I think he cares enough for her to find another line of work."

Doc nodded, "like I said, smart boy."

"Wouldn't surprise me much if he decided to resign soon." Doc remained quiet for awhile, "Doc, is everything all right?"

He nodded, "I was just thinking why some men know when it's time and other's have to be pushed."

"Have you any leads on the Marshal's whereabouts?"

Doc shook his head, "not recently. It seems while everyone was in Dodge attending to me Matt came home but then left again." Doc paused, "he foolishly believes that Kitty and John…"

Newly began to chuckle, "Miss Kitty and Dr. Chapman?"

Doc waved his hand, "keep your voice down."

Newly whispered, "how can he believe that Doc…I mean Dr. Chapman?"

Doc whispered back, "well…I know…but he's been very good to her and the children."

Newly nodded, "I just thought they were play acting so no one would know that the children were the Marshal's."

Doc nodded, "there was a good deal of that too but they have become very good friends since Kitty has been here. I would say there is a mutual caring between the parties. Nothing romantic you understand just a genuine shared caring."

Newly looked into the next room, "but he isn't here today."

Doc tugged on his ear, "that's another story which is too long to get into at the moment."

Newly thought a moment. "I wonder what the Marshal…"

Kitty smiled as she entered the room, "well…what are you two boys discussing?"

Newly stood, "well…uh…Miss Kitty…uh…I was just asking Doc if Dr. Chapman was going to be here today. I was hoping that I could stay with him as I did when I was here the last time."

Kitty's facial expression changed as she shook her head, "no, Newly, Dr. Chapman won't be here today but I'm sure I can find a place here for you to stay."

Newly shook his head, "Don't go to any trouble Miss Kitty. I can just walk down to his house and ask myself."

"I'll save you that rejection Newly and rearrange something here."

Newly looked puzzled as he shook his head, "Then, I can find a place in town. You have a full house as it is."

Kitty smiled, "what's one more? I'll go see what I can arrange and I'll be right back."

Newly blew out his breath as he turned to Doc, "gee, Doc, I didn't know what to say."

Doc grinned as he pulled on his ear, "you were never quick on your feet so don't worry about it."

Newly sat back down and sarcastically responded. "Thanks Doc." He pointed where Kitty was, "what just happened here Doc? What was that about rejection?"

Doc rubbed his hand over his moustache, "it was what I was trying to tell you. It's a long story…very complicated…but since we're going to be living under the same roof for a little while we just might get a opportunity for some men talk again and I can fill you in."

"What's going to be done about the Marshal? Is anyone going to keep looking for him?"

Doc nodded, "Festus will be heading out soon. If we're lucky he'll find him this time."

Newly shook his head, "I hope so Doc. It has to be hard on the children not having their father around."

Doc nodded, "and it's taking a toll on Kitty too."

Maggie entered the room, "come on, we're going to sing happy birthday to the twins." The two men stood and followed Maggie into the next room.

John sat, feet up on the ottoman, roaring fire in front of him, and an enticing smell emanating from the kitchen making him very hungry. Regina came into the room and handed him a drink, "dinner will be ready in a few minutes."

He placed the drink on the side table and grabbed Regina into his lap, "do we have a little more than a few minutes?"

"Why Dr. Chapman…where do you find the energy after a hard day at the office?"

He kissed her, "I don't know but you seem to revitalize me." He began to undo the buttons on her blouse and kissed her exposed skin, "you are so beautiful Reggie."

She ran her hand down his face, "maybe I should go turn the oven off first."

He waved his hand, "oh, let it burn." He continued to undress her as they slowly made their way to the floor. She smiled as she watched him undress anticipating John's hands roaming up and down her delicate frame. His eyes followed his hand as he gently touched her skin. His lips moved down her body as her response guided his way. She couldn't be happier because now John was freely giving her his love.

Later that evening John watched as a naked Regina returned with the food. He smiled, "it's a good thing I keep my shades drawn."

She looked down at her body, "afraid the neighbors might look at you differently now knowing you have normal male needs?"

"No, it's just that I don't want my neighbors envious of me because I have such a beautiful woman to make love to."

She handed him a plate, "for that you will get an extra helping of burnt food."

John smiled, "how bad is it?"

Regina sat on the floor next to him, "not too bad," she cupped his face with her hand, "who needs to eat when I have you making love to me."

He kissed her then took a bite, "even burnt it's delicious."

"Would you like some wine to wash that down with?"

He nodded, "anything to watch you walk around naked."

She slapped his arm and he smiled, "just for that maybe I'll go and put on your robe."

John shook his head, "I'd only find you more appealing in that."

She shook her head, "you are incorrigible!" She returned with the wine and he poured them both a glass. They then moved in front of the fire, backs against the ottoman, her head resting against his bare skin. They sat for awhile, she stroking his chest, "John, I want you to know I've enjoyed being here the past few months."

He kissed the top of her head, "I'm glad to hear it," as he continued to run his hand along her back.

She looked up at him, "since I've been spending so much time here I was thinking that maybe I would sell my house and move everything here."

He stopped his hand, "Reggie, do you really want to do that? I mean sell your house?"

She looked puzzled, "John why should we have two residences? It seems a waste since we've been here together for the past few months."

"I know Reggie but sell your house?" John thought a moment. "Why don't you keep it and just rent it out?"

She nodded, "yes, and maybe I could rent it out to a man that I pine after."

He let out with a huge sigh, "Reggie, we were having such a nice evening why do you have to say something like that and spoil it?" He ran his fingers down her face, "I rented that house to Kitty way before you ever came back into my life and it wasn't only for her…as you know." He ran his hand through her hair, "I haven't thought about her for months and that is the truth. I've been trying to make this work between us, I really have." He played with her breast. "If you want to sell the house, then sell the house. I was only offering my advice, whether you want to take it that's up to you."

She drew him into a passionate kiss, "it probably does make more sense to keep the house." She ran her hand through his hair, "I don't know why I keep doing that John. I guess it's because I love you so much and the thought that there may be another woman in your life tears me apart."

He ran his lips down her neck, "you really don't have to worry about that any more. There is no one else but you."

As he continued moving down her body she moaned, "I love you John."

He looked up at her and smiled, "I know." He was becoming very fond of Regina, he just wasn't sure if that was ever going to turn into the love that she so craved.

Festus had decided to leave a week earlier than he had originally planned. Since he had come back from Dodge the fact that he wasn't able to track Matt as easily as he thought he would haunted his every waking moment. He failed and that was unacceptable for a Haggen so the quicker he got back on a mule the better he was going to feel. He left his room and made his way over to Kitty's home. He came through the front door as Doc was coming down the stairs, "and what do you want?"

"Where's Miss Kitty at?"

"And what do you want to see Kitty about?"

"Ya become her bodying guard now Doc?"

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "no, but I know when you have that look in your eye and knowing what a soft touch Kitty is I'm here to protect her interests."

Festus flailed his arms, "fiddle now Doc, ya think I'm a here to be askin' Miss Kitty fer some money?"

Doc nodded, "yes, that's exactly what I think you're here for. Probably got yourself in some three-card monte or some such game and now you're a little short and you got your hand out."

Festus pointed at Doc, "OK smarty aleck fer yer information I'm not here fer no such a thing."

Doc chuckled, "now that would be a first!"

Kitty stepped into the foyer, "there yer be Miss Kitty."

"What is it Festus?"

He walked closer to her, "is there a place we can talk private like?" He pointed his thumb in Doc's direction, "away from this here old quack quack and all his interests?"

Kitty looked over at Doc, "what are you doing to Festus now Doc?"

Doc chuckled, "not a blessed thing…not one thing."

Kitty took Festus by the arm and glared at Doc. "Come on Festus, we'll go sit in the library room." They entered the room and sat down, "now, what was it you wanted to talk with me about?"

"Miss Kitty I've been a faunchin' to go look fer ol' Matthew ever since we'd be back from Dodge so I be a thinkin' on leavin' day after tamorrow and not the week afta."

"Are you sure Festus? Won't it still be cold up there?"

"Won't know till I'm there."

Kitty nodded, "all right then I'll get the money together and you can leave whenever you want."

"Much obliged." They stood then Festus turned to Kitty, "Miss Kitty I'm gonna' make yer this here promise that I ain't a gonna' quit 'til I have Matthew comin' on home wit' me and I done take a solemn oath on that."

Kitty cupped Festus' face with her hand and then kissed him on the cheek, "thank you Festus." Festus smiled then nodded. "Why don't you stop by for dinner tonight?"

Festus nodded, "I'll doer."

Doc was sitting reading his paper when Festus walked by. "Oh…Festus." Festus turned to look over at him, "so how did your talk go?"

"None of yer beeswax."

Doc looked back at his paper, "so Kitty turn you down huh?"

"She done no such a thing yer ol' nosey body."

Doc chuckled, "guess I was right again!"

Festus looked at Doc with disgust, "pfst! Ya ornery ole scudder." As Festus walked out the front door Doc continued to be amused.

Festus came through the door that night for dinner. Katie saw him from the end of the hall and came running. "Uncle Festus!"

He picked her up, "now how's my fav-or-right niece?"

"I'm fine Uncle Festus."

"Then why don't we sit a spell over here and jaw a minute."

"OK, Uncle Festus."

He sat down with Katie in his lap, "Now then."

"Uncle Festus? Mommy said that you were going to go away and find my Daddy. Can you really bring my Daddy home to me?"

Festus could feel the tears welling in his eyes, "ifn' there's anyone who can it's yer ol' Uncle Festus. Didn't ya knowd that I'm the bestest at findin' lil' girl's daddies?" Katie shook her head, "well I am…there ain't no one better. Now I don't want ya to fret no more cause I'm a gonna' find him and bring him home before ya can say rat run over the roof top with a piece of raw liver in his mouth."

Katie laughed, "Uncle Festus I can't remember that."

"Well then I tell ya what ya can do. Ya keep a practicin' that and by the time ya finally get ta the end ya daddy'll be standin' right there in front of yer."

Katie's eyes got wide, "really Uncle Festus?"

"Yer betcha." Festus placed Katie on the floor and stood. "Smells like there be some real good vittles 'bout to be 'et so we better be gettin' there 'fore they're all gone." He held his hand out and Katie grabbed it then uncle and niece walked toward the dinner table.

The whole family came to say goodbye to Festus just as the train was pulling into the station. Festus grabbed his carpetbag off the bench and then he kissed the children goodbye guaranteeing the safe return of their father. Kitty kissed him, "and Festus don't forget telegram us whenever you can and if you need more money don't hesitate to ask for it and above all if the conditions get too horrible I want you…"

Festus put his hand up, "we done been over that a million times now Miss Kitty. I'm a gonna be fine, don't ya worry none 'bout me."

She nodded and smiled, "all right."

He said his goodbyes to Maggie and then Doc took him by the arm and led him to the train. "Festus, I'm counting on you. I know I don't have to tell you how important you finding Matt is, but it is, and there is no better person on earth that can complete this mission then you…I just want you to know that."

Festus nodded, "I 'preciate that Doc."

He started to walk away when Doc grabbed him into a big hug. "Good luck old friend." Both men tried to hold back their tears as Festus climbed on the train.

A few weeks later Doc was sitting in the house reading his paper trying to keep cool. It was an exceptionally warm April and Doc needed to get some relief from the heat. He eventually stood and made his way out to the porch where a soft breeze cooled his body. He sat in the rocker for awhile but then decided to take a walk and look over the neighborhood. Halfway through his tour he heard someone call his name from a passing coach. He looked up and it was John, "getting a little exercise Galen?"

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "as a matter of fact I am. I've been getting a little sedentary since I married and retired."

"Well at the risk of adding to your sedentary life why don't you climb in and we can go have a cup of coffee or something."

Doc nodded, "shove over."

Doc sat down and John looked over at him, "so…how is married life?"

Doc tugged on his ear, "if I knew it was this good I would have done it a long time ago."

"Well…you have yourself a wonderful woman Galen."

Doc nodded, "don't I know it!"

They rode a little while longer in silence until they came upon Sister Jasmine's Coffee Emporium. John turned to Galen, "best coffee in town."

Doc cocked his head, "hmm…seems interesting."

As they walked through the door Jasmine greeted them warmly, "ooh, Dr. John it be so good to see you again."

John smiled, "Jasmine, I'd like you to meet a very good friend of mine, Galen Adams."

She reached out to shake Doc's hand, "oh, any friend of the doctor's is a friend of mine." She looked back at John, "so Dr. John how is Miss Regina doin'?"

"She's fine Jasmine."

"You be such a good lookin' couple and so much in love."

John cleared his throat and pointed over at a table, "I think we'll sit over there," he started to move toward the table and Doc followed.

Jasmine yelled after them, "OK now Dr. John, you go over and sit down I will bring you your coffee."

The men sat down across from each other, "so Galen…how are you feeling?"

"Haven't had one problem by golly and I don't think I will now that I have Margaret to love." Doc eyed John, "how's your love situation coming?"

John nodded. "It's coming."

"John, I am sorry that I haven't been more help. I know I promised to help you find a way out of your situation right after the wedding but it seems time just flies by. You must be in such hell and…"

John held his hand up, "no, not really Galen. It has rather been enjoyable the past few months."

"Then Sister Jasmine wasn't wrong in her evaluation? Are you so much in love?"

John blushed, "well, I wouldn't go that far Galen but it's been nice having someone there when you come home, attending to your needs, loving you."

Doc thought a moment, "she was pretty crazy when I saw her last."

John nodded, "but things seem to be different now. She has become a real companion for me and I'm beginning to enjoy it."

"Aren't you afraid that one night the old Regina may appear out of the blue?"

John shook his head, "not really…"

Jasmine came to the table with two cups of coffee, "here ya go gentlemen. Now if ya needs anythin' else you just let Jasmine know."

John looked up, "thanks Jasmine."

Doc looked over at John, "you were saying John?"

John thought a moment, "oh…ah…I think I found a way to handle the old Regina but I'm enjoying the time I'm spending with her and I think she senses that so she no longer feels threatened by my wanting to be somewhere else."

"And do you want to be somewhere else?"

John stared at Doc for a moment, "I can honestly say I don't Galen. I think I'm going to give the life I have with Regina a shot."

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "I see."

John took a deep breath, "Galen a few months ago I came to realize that Kitty was a dream for me…an unattainable dream. Even if Matt never comes home I could never see Kitty opening up her heart again for anyone, not even for me." He sipped his coffee, "I would always be just a very good friend to her and truthfully it would kill me every day to know I could never show her how much I loved her. I needed her Galen. I needed her body and soul, more than I ever needed another woman in my life." He took another sip of coffee, "so it's just as well that Regina came along when she did." John chuckled, "she probably saved me from myself."

Doc stared at John for awhile. He wasn't racked with hate or rage any longer he really seemed to be at peace. Maybe Regina wasn't Kitty but she was becoming a very good substitute. He took another sip of coffee, "well, John, I am happy to hear that your life has taken a turn for the better."

John smiled, "it really has Galen. I don't know if I'll ever get to the point where I can love Reggie like I loved Kitty but I'm working on it."

Doc reached across the table and patted John's hand, "I'm happy to hear that John." He finished the rest of his coffee and stood, "I better be getting back."

John stood, "let me take you home."

Doc patted his arm, "John, you have better things to do today then chauffeur me around town. I'll find my way…thanks."

"Galen it was good seeing you again. We should find the time to do this more often."

Doc nodded and winked, "I'd like that." As Doc shuffled out the door from the coffee house John hoped that they would have an opportunity to see each other again.

John decided to walk home from the office. He had enjoyed sharing a cup of coffee with Doc but more importantly he felt very good about his decision to make a life with Regina. As he came through the front door a glass whizzed past his head and scattered in a million pieces, "Reggie what on earth?"

A wild eyed woman stood in front of him, "trying to get word to your whore John?"

"My what?"

"You heard me…your whore! I went into Sister Jasmine's today and she told me you had coffee with Galen Adams."

"What's wrong with that?"

She slowly approached him, "what did you need to know about your precious Kitty? How many men she slept with the past few months?"

"Reggie, listen to me. I passed Galen on the street and asked if he would like to have a cup of coffee."

"Liar!" She lunged at him striking his chest with her fists, "you still want her don't you…answer me…you still dream about her…don't you…I said answer me!"

John slammed her body against the wall and pulled her into a passionate kiss. His hands ripped at her clothing and she grabbed at his belt. Their climax was swift as he kept her pinned to the wall as they caught their breath. He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. They undressed, climbed into bed, and he held her in his arms. He kissed the top of her forehead as he ran his hand through her hair. "Reggie I want you to listen to me. Galen is my friend and if I want to see him for coffee or for any other reason I will. If you must know, we did talk about you and I told him how much I have enjoyed the past few months with you and that I thought we might possibly have a future together but I can't see that happening if you continue to think that I want a life with Kitty. I don't and I wish I could make you believe that." He kissed her, "I want you here with me, I want to try and make a life with you, and I only want to make love to you." He ran his lips down her neck, "what can I do to make you understand that?"

Tears were glistening in Regina's eyes, "I love you so much John and I want this to work between us too. We are so very good together and I know I can make you happy…far happier than you could ever be with Kitty." She kissed him, "John, you know me better than Dave ever did. You know my moods and you know how to handle them.

He smiled, "Your moods do have their advantages."

She laughed, "I never knew you could be so forceful Dr. Chapman."

He took a deep breath, "you bring that out in me…the only woman who ever has."

Regina began to kiss his chest, "hmm…and what else do I bring out in you?"

He pulled her chin up with his fingers and looked into her eyes, "are we all right?"

She smiled, "you can have coffee with whoever you like because I know you're coming home to me."

John rolled her over on her back, "always."

Doc walked through the front door. "There you are Galen I didn't know where in heavens you had gone off to."

He kissed Maggie and they walked arm in arm to the sofa, "I went for a walk."

"It must have been a pretty long walk. You've been gone quite a while."

He put his arm around Maggie and held her close, "John passed me in his coach and convinced me to stop and have a cup of coffee with him."

"How is Dr. John?"

"He's doing well from what I can see."

Maggie whispered, "and how is that awful woman he has to be with?"

Doc shook his head, "she doesn't seem so awful anymore."

She looked up at him, "but I thought you said she was threatening to kill Miss Kitty if Dr. John didn't stay with her."

"Well…I guess he found something appealing about her now. From what he says he is going to try and make a life with her."

"But how can that be?"

He kissed her, "I guess John has done some soul searching and realized that he has a woman who loves him and it doesn't serve any purpose for him to be pining away over a woman who will never love him."

Maggie put her hand over her mouth, "Miss Kitty."

"Miss Kitty what?" Both Maggie and Doc looked up as Kitty entered the room. "well...what about me?"

Maggie stood, "I should be starting dinner, if you will excuse me."

Kitty looked confused as Maggie passed her. She walked over to the sofa and sat down, "well…are you going to tell me what is going on Curly?"

Doc stared at Kitty a moment, "I was taking a walk today and John passed me in his coach."

Kitty smiled, "how is he?"

Doc nodded, "he seems to be doing fine. He took me for some coffee."

Kitty looked curious, "and?"

Doc shrugged, "that's about it."

"Then why was Maggie mentioning my name."

Doc took a deep breath, "why do you women have to know everything that goes on between two men when they are out having a harmless cup of coffee?"

Kitty was getting annoyed, "are you going to tell me Curly?"

"Well…maybe I'm not. I mean…maybe you should give me a little credit for knowing the times that I should just keep things to myself."

She tried to keep her voice calm but she was reaching her boiling point, "Doc, I want to know what was said and I want to know now!"

Doc ran his hand over his moustache as he stared at her, "it seems that John has taken a liking to Regina and is going to try and make a life with her."

Kitty waved her hand, "oh Doc, he's just saying that. He has to say that…I mean she threatened to kill me if he didn't do as she said. He's doing all that for me."

Doc kept shaking his head, "no Kitty. I thought so too at first but I looked him in the eyes. He means it…I think he may be falling in love with her."

Kitty looked down, "oh…well…good for him. He's been alone for so many years…I'm happy for him…yes, I'm really happy for him." She abruptly stood, "if you will excuse me Doc I've got to get ready for tonight." She quickly ran up the stairs.

Maggie came back into the room and sat down next to Doc and he wrapped her in his arms. "Oh, Galen, I hope Festus can find Matt this time. If not, I don't know what Miss Kitty will do. She doesn't even have Dr. John to lean on anymore."

He kissed the top of her hair, "she'll just have to lean on us Maggie." She nodded.

Kitty was upstairs trying on a dress for the evening at _**Russell's**_. Each one she tried on just didn't look right for one reason or the other. As she was taking off the umpteenth dress the fabric caught and she tussled to free herself. Eventually the fabric ripped and she was able to sling it over her head. In a rage she flung it across the room and sat down on the bed. She could feel the tears forming in her eyes at the thought of John making love to Regina. She couldn't understand why this upset her so. She was beginning to question her sanity when she thought about Festus. It was only a matter of time before he found Matt and would bring him back home…but what if Matt didn't want her any longer? She sat staring at the wall for awhile but the thought of Matt's rejection and John's happiness brought streams of tears falling down her face. She covered her face with her hands as her silent tears became deep long sobs…she had never felt so all alone.

It was a bright spring day at the cabin and Little Fawn brought the baby out to the porch. She sat down as she noticed Matt riding toward them. He pulled up in front of the cabin, "what you got there Dillon?"

Matt looked back at the animal, "what does it look like?"

"It look like goat."

Matt nodded, "very good. Tomorrow I'll bring another animal by and see if you can recognize that as well."

Little Fawn giggled, "you funny Dillon but what we need goat for?"

"Well…at some point boy there can't keep feeding on you so I thought he could get his nourishment from this animal's milk."

She smiled, "you always think Dillon."

Matt nodded as he walked toward Little Fawn, "was part of my job once, I guess I can't get out of the habit." Matt looked down at the baby, "by golly he is getting big."

Little Fawn looked up, "maybe even get as big as you." She lifted the baby up so Matt could take him. He took the child from her and gently cradled him in his arms. He stared at the child under the watchful eye of his Indian friend. Matt smiled as he lightly ran his hand over the baby's head. "you miss son?"

Matt smiled, "I use to sing to him at night when he found it hard to fall asleep." Matt chuckled, "for some reason that always put him in a deep slumber." He kept rocking the baby. "Seems so long ago."

"I bet son still remembers."

Matt chuckled, "probably because my voice was so bad."

Little Fawn shook her head, "no, I think remember you." She pointed to Matt and her son, "just like that."

He looked at her and shook his head, "I wish that could be true but I don't think he thinks about me at all anymore."

He handed the baby back to Little Fawn, "I believe son still hears your voice and one day you come to believe it too."

Matt shook his head, "no, those days are over Little Fawn. My children call another man father now I think it best for me to live my own life and forget."

Little Fawn stood and walked in front of Matt, "you very stubborn Dillon this I know…life very sad when there nothing but that in life."

Matt watched her walk into the cabin. He stood for a moment, thought about what she said, then turned and brought his horse and goat around to the back.

Festus left Denver with two mules, one laden with supplies. He was going to be on the road a long time but it didn't matter. He had promised to bring Katie's father back to her and that was what he was determined to do no matter how long it took. The one thing he was pretty certain of this time was that Matt was alive, now if only his good friend would stay in one place he'd have a very good chance of finding him. As he made his way north he still had not made a definitive plan for the search. As he meandered along, a crazy notion came into his mind. If his hunch was right he'd be shaking hands with good ol' Matthew before long.


	29. Decisions, Doubts, and Deceptions Abound

Festus was hoping he remembered it right. He had only been here once before but the scenery was beginning to become more and more familiar with every step of his mule. He strained his eyes to see wisps of smoke floating gently on the breeze and moved his mules in that direction. With the onset of evening the temperature was beginning to fall and the thought of having a roof over his head and a roaring fire in the hearth made him smile. He shook his head thinking how soft he had become as he hitched his mules to the post. He was pretty sure the person behind those four walls would not be surprised to hear a knock on the door; he probably had heard him coming from a mile away. All Festus hoped was that he would ask questions first and shoot later. Festus took a deep breath and raised his hand to knock, "Who is it?"

It's me, Festus, Festus Haggen."

The man sat for a second to recall the name and then a broad smile ran across his face as he made his way to the door. He opened it as he put his gun back in the holster. "You were about a second away from meeting your maker, you understand. You should know better than to be sneaking up on a person in the middle of the night."

"Yes, sir, I be knowin' that and I be a givin' that a lil' thought but bein' here nice n' warm made my mind up real quick. Ya knowd I come a long ways."

"How is Dodge these days?"

"We ain't in Dodge no more Mr. Reardon. We be in New Or-a-lins."

"New Orleans? Well, you have come a long way. Come on, sit, I'll fix ya a meal." Festus sat as Frank stirred the stew. "So tell me…everyone move to New Orleans?"

"Yes sir."

Frank began to laugh, "even Matt?"

Festus nodded, "he sure did."

Frank shook his head, "well I'll be…how is he Festus?"

"That's what I come 'bout. Thought ya might have seen him."

Frank turned to look at Festus, "Matt? No, the last time I'd seen him was when you, him, and Doc came to visit."

Festus' head dropped, "I was hopin' he might have been 'round these here parts a lil' while ago."

Frank ladled the stew onto the plate, handed it to Festus, and then sat down across from him. "Is Matt in some kind of trouble?"

Festus nodded, "might say wit' Miss Kitty."

Frank furrowed his brows, "maybe you should tell me the whole story Festus."

"Well, ya see, Matthew and Miss Kitty got themselves hitched but no one knowd 'bout it. Matthew retired and tolt us he had a place up in the mountains and he wanted us ta go wit' him fer some huntin''n fishin' but he took us ta New Or-a-lins. Come ta find out that Miss Kitty had a youngin' and that was where Matthew be all the time. Then Matthew and Miss Kitty have another youngin' and the next thing we knowd Matthew just up and left ta go see his friend Caleb but he don't never come back. Meanwhiles ol' Doc took sick in Dodge so Miss Kitty went ta Dodge to be wit' him but ol' Matthew come home whilst she be gone. We come home ta find that Matthew be there but he done left 'fore we gets back. So I promised lil' Katie that I wouldn't rest one lil' bit till I be bringin' her daddy home to her." Festus took a bite of his food. "I be a hopin' Matthew came to visit ya here this time."

Frank raised his head off his hand, "no, I wish I had seen him. Kitty must be out of her mind with worry."

"That she be Mr. Reardon."

"Festus, why don't you call me Frank?" Festus nodded. Frank then folded his arms in front of him on the table, "what I don't understand is why Matt left in the first place. You say he has two children?"

Festus nodded as he tried to swallow his last bite of food, "a male and a shemale but he don't knowd 'bout the other two."

"The other two?"

Festus nodded as he took another bite, "Miss Kitty had two more but Matthew left 'fore she could tell him."

Frank mulled over what Festus told him and shook his head, "I've known Matt a long time and I can see him doing a lot of things but leaving his children?" Frank shook his head, "it doesn't make a whole lot of sense. How long has he been away?"

"Three years the first time and now near on close ta a year."

Frank kept shaking his head, "it just doesn't make any sense. I've never seen Matt more in love with a woman than he was with Kitty." He sat deep in thought, "He fathered two, er, four children and then walked away? Nah, Festus, it just doesn't make any sense."

"I knowd it that's why I thought he might come here and be wit' ya since ya be such good friends n' all. Might thought ya could talk some sense inta him."

"I wish he had shown up here. I would have personally taken him back to Kitty."

"That's what I be a thinkin' too so I figured I'd come here and least let ya know."

Frank thought a moment, "I appreciate that Festus." He shook his head, "whatever got in his head to do a fool thing like that, I'll never know." He stared straight ahead with his thoughts.

Festus finished his meal and then looked over at Frank, "ifn' ya don't mind I'd like ta stay the night but I'll be movin' on at first light."

"Festus, I won't hear of it. You need a couple of days off that animal at least. Matt has been gone this long he can keep another couple of days. We're gonna' do some huntin' and fishin'," he nudged Festus' arm. "and maybe even a little drinkin' and then I'm gonna' help in the search. Maybe I can talk some sense into Matt or, at the very least, be a good listener."

"Sounds real fine to me Mr…er…I mean Frank."

"Good, let me get you a blanket. Don't mind sleepin' in front of the fire…do you?"

"I'd be plum proud ta sleep in front of yer fire."

"Good," Frank handed him the blanket, "well, I'm gonna turn in. I've got quite a day planned for us tomorrow. Good night."

"Night." Festus went out to get his bedroll from his mule. He unraveled it, pulled the blanket over him, and tried to go to sleep. He stared up at the ceiling satisfied that his idea was a good one. Even though he didn't find Matt, having Frank Reardon joining in the search put his mind at ease. Not only was he a good friend of Matt's but he was one of the best trackers in that part of the country. As Festus drifted off to sleep he felt very good about fulfilling his promise to the cutest little girl in the world.

John turned the key in the door and stepped aside to let Regina into the foyer. "Your palace awaits my lady."

Regina laughed, "I think this Man of the Year award has gone to your head."

John locked the door and turned back to Regina as he pulled her into a hug, "did I tell you how beautiful you looked tonight?"

Regina smiled, "I think you mentioned it a few times."

He ran his hand through her hair, "well…I'm going to tell you again. I was the envy of all the men in the room tonight."

She kissed him, "that's because you were the Man of the Year."

John held up the plaque, "oh…this little thing?"

She cupped his face with her hands, "I'm so proud of you." She ran her hands up and down his chest, "and you looked so handsome and, may I say, very dashing when you accepted the award."

"Did I sound all right?"

She nodded, "you were very eloquent."

John smiled, "then let me put this plaque down and I'll pour us a drink."

She took the plaque from his hand and laid it on the table, "why don't we skip the drink and let me relax you another way."

He kissed her, "and what did you have in mind?"

She headed for the stairs, "why don't you follow me and I'll show you."

He smiled as he caught up to her and put his arm around her waist. She smiled as they walked arm in arm into the bedroom.

Kitty was sipping her coffee reading the morning paper when an article on page three caught her attention.

**LOCAL DOCTOR RECEIVES MAN OF THE YEAR AWARD**

Last evening, in the ballroom of the Chateau Hotel, the Hospital Association of New Orleans awarded Dr. John Chapman the Man of the Year award for his humanitarian service to the city's community. Presenting Dr. Chapman with this prestigious honor was the Chief of Staff of Touro Infirmary, Dr. Jack Richmond. Dr. Chapman attended the evening's festivities with the stunning Regina Lawrence, secretary to Gerard Rousseau, of the Rousseau Detective Agency. It was a grand night for the Association and for Dr. Chapman. He seemed to be thoroughly enjoying this well deserved notoriety as he and Mrs. Lawrence danced the night away. Without question she was very proud to say that every day he is her Man of the Year!

Kitty slammed the paper on the table, "say now, what was that all about?" Doc made his way over to the stove.

Kitty flailed her arms, "the things they find newsworthy in this town are just amazing!" She quickly stood, "and I have better things to do with my time then read them." She pointed to the stove, "help yourself Curly I have to get dressed."

Doc watched her climb the back staircase, grabbed the coffee cup, and sat down to search for what had riled his good friend. Kitty had folded the paper to the article so it didn't take Doc long to find her irritation. He folded the paper, set his cup on the table, and made his way upstairs. He found her standing at the French doors blankly staring into space. He slowly walked toward her, "I'm not sure exactly why any of this upsets you so." She didn't answer just kept staring straight ahead, "do you want to talk about it?" She shook her head but as he came closer he could see the tears streaming down her face. He put his hand on her shoulder as she turned and quickly hugged him. Her sobs broke his heart as he led her to the bed. As her crying subsided he wiped away the tears, "what's wrong Kitty? It's not as if you loved John."

She shook her head, "I don't know what I feel anymore Doc."

Doc put his arm around her shoulder and she laid her head against his, "once Festus finds Matt everything will be all right again."

Kitty shook her head, "I don't know Doc."

He straightened up and looked into her eyes, "what do you mean you don't know?"

She sighed, "I'm so afraid that Festus will find him and he won't want to come home, that he doesn't love me anymore."

Doc looked away, then back at Kitty, and then looked away again as he ran his hand over his moustache, "honey, I'm sorry but I have to disagree with you there." He shook his head, "I'm of the opinion that Matt is under the impression that you no longer love him."

Kitty dismissed that thought with the wave of her hand, "oh, Doc, that's ridiculous."

"If Matt saw you kissing John on the porch, as we believe, then I'm sure he felt he didn't have a place in your life any longer." Doc raised his finger, "and knowing Matt Dillon, like I do, he jumped to conclusions and felt his only recourse was to let you live your life with John and be happy."

"But Doc didn't he even give a thought to his children?"

"I'm sure he gives a lot of thought to his children. Why else would he have taken the pictures?" Doc let out with a deep breath, "you two are the most exasperating people I have ever met in my life. You both love each other so deeply that you will sacrifice your own happiness just so the other person can be happy." Doc took Kitty by the hands, "honey, the best thing that could have happened is that John is beginning a life with Regina. I know you consider John a very good friend but it looked like for awhile there that you were falling in love with him." He ran his hand over his moustache, "I already knew how John felt about you."

Kitty looked down, "I don't know Doc. I guess I did lean on John a lot and he filled a void in my life. Maybe all his attention made me feel loved again and that was so very important after Matt left me. I felt so abandoned so when John put his arms around me and held me I felt secure again in his love." She looked back up at Doc, "do you think I didn't love Matt enough to so easily allow another man to love me?"

Doc shook his head, "I don't want you to give this anymore thought. I know in my heart that if Matt had come out of the shadows that night John would no longer matter." He moved a few strands of hair from her eyes, "Kitty, you accepted comfort from John when you needed it the most and he was very happy to give you his love so I think a few hugs and kisses won't matter much…as long as that is all that happened." Kitty thought back to that morning in Dodge and how close she came to willingly love him. "Are you all right honey?"

She smiled, "I'm fine." She gave him a big hug, "thanks for the talk Curly, I feel much better now."

Doc stood, "well good. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some cold coffee to warm up." As Doc made his way downstairs Kitty took a deep breath…she hoped Doc was right.

Regina was sitting at the table in the kitchen sipping her coffee and reading the morning paper. John entered the room and smiled as he walked over and kissed her good morning. "Anything worthwhile reading this morning?" He walked over to the stove and poured a cup of coffee.

Regina shook her head, "you know, they'll print anything in the paper these days. Now take this article on page three for instance."

John walked back to the table as she handed him the paper. "You're right, such drivel." John smiled, "they were right about one thing though…you were stunning!"

Regina stood and wrapped her arms around John as he took her face in his hands and kissed her, "don't you have to go to the office this morning?"

John shook his head, "I cleared my calendar anticipating that it might be a late night so why don't I make us some breakfast and then you decide what you want us to do today."

"It looks like such a beautiful day why don't we take a boat ride on the Mississippi?"

He ran his hand through her hair, "if that's what you want to do, we'll do it."

She pulled him into a passionate kiss, "why don't we skip breakfast, pack a lunch, and eat while we're on the boat."

John shrugged, "and what do we do for food now?"

"I have another idea for breakfast this morning." She opened his robe and ran her lips down his bare chest.

She looked up into his smiling eyes. "Happy?"

"John, I've never been happier in my life. You have made all my dreams come true."

John looked around, "so…is there a specific place you would like to be for your alternative breakfast idea?"

She removed his robe, "I think right here will do." He smiled as he watched her robe fall to the floor.

The water was running fast along Sweet Grass Creek. Festus breathed in the mountain air as he stared up at the huge pines surrounding them. "Frank, I can see how yer picked this here place ta live. It has everythin' a man could want."

"That it has Festus except it does get kinda lonely after awhile."

Festus nodded, "well, 'specially a man like yerself who had yer a wife."

Frank cast his line again, "not a day goes by that I don't miss her." Festus nodded in agreement. "That's why I just don't know what got into Matt. He's been around people his whole life and now to go off into the mountains and live alone…it just doesn't figure. Tell me again what you found."

"I done found a cabin that been lived in. There be a grave out back that I be thinkin' be Matthew's friend Caleb."

"And where was this cabin again?"

"It be north and east from Fort Collins in Colarada."

"And you think Matt was there?"

"Can't be sure none but I be thinkin' like yerself. Matthew been livin' wit' people too long ta live by his ownself."

"So you think once his friend died he headed back home."

"That's what I be a thinkin'."

Frank thought a moment, "so he makes it all the way back to New Orleans and then leaves again without letting Kitty know he was home?"

Festus shook his head, "she woulda not knowd nothin' 'ceptin' the pictures were gone."

"The pictures?"

Festus nodded, "of him and Miss Kitty on their weddin' day and Matthew and Katie."

"Festus I always thought I knew Matt pretty well but this has me puzzled."

Festus nodded, "gots us all in a puzzlement too."

Frank rubbed his chin with his two fingers, "why would he come all the way home just to pick up pictures?"

Festus looked over at Frank, "ya don't suppose that he be wit' another shemale?"

Frank chuckled, "Matt? Nah, Festus, there was only one woman who he ever truly loved and that was Kitty. Besides he wouldn't have come home and he certainly wouldn't be taking those pictures back to another woman." Frank laughed. "Believe me…that wouldn't sit right with any woman!"

"Yer probably right 'bout that."

"Was someone after him?"

Festus shook his head, "not that I knowd of."

"See now that would make sense. If someone had found Matt and he thought Kitty and the children were in danger he would want to settle it as far away as possible from his family."

Festus cast his line again, "then he kept that from Miss Kitty cause she don't have no idea why he be gone."

"Well…Festus my friend. We won't have the answers until we get on the road and finally catch up with Matt."

"Ya right 'bout that."

The children were in the library room playing when Kitty entered. She was on her way to the restaurant when Katie looked up. "Mommy, has Uncle Festus found Daddy yet?

"I haven't heard anything yet Katie but the west is a very big place and there aren't too many places that have telegraph buildings."

Katie looked down, "Oh."

She bent over and ran her hand down Katie's face, "I don't want you to give up hope Katie. Your uncle will find your Daddy this time I just know it." She stood, "now, I've got to go to the restaurant but I'll be back very soon. You mind your Pop Pop and Aunt Maggie until I get back…OK?"

The children replied in unison, "all right Mommy."

Kitty smiled and headed for the front door. Matthew looked over at Katie, "you think we're ever gonna' get a daddy?"

Katie nodded, "Uncle Festus told me so."

Matthew hung his head, "I don't think anyone wants to be our daddy."

"Don't say that Matthew."

"It's the truth…ain't it? Our Daddy leaves, then Uncle John."

Katie made a face, "Uncle John isn't our Daddy."

"He told us he was. He said he'd always be there whenever we wanted him but he ain't. Nobody wants us Katie, not Daddy, not Uncle John."

Katie sighed, "I just want our Daddy home."

Matthew looked up from the truck he was moving, "he ain't coming home."

"He is too!"

"He's not!"

"Is too!"

"Whoa there, what's going on in here?"

"Pop Pop, Matthew thinks Daddy is never coming home."

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "I know it looks that way Matthew but I really believe that your uncle is going to find him this time."

"He's mad at Uncle John too for not being our Daddy."

Doc sat down in the chair, "Matthew your Uncle John cares about you very much but sometimes he gets very busy. That's how it is when you're a doctor. I'm sure one day he'll find the time to stop by again."

Matthew shook his head, "he's with that lady."

"What lady?"

"The lady at the party."

Doc thought a moment, "at the wedding Matthew?" Matthew nodded. Doc tugged on his ear, "oh, she is just a friend of your uncle's."

"He coulda been with Mommy. He was always with Mommy."

"That's true but your Mommy was very busy that day. She didn't have much time to be with your uncle."

"Yeah…maybe."

Doc signaled for Matthew to come to him. He held the boy as he spoke, "Matthew, I think we have to concentrate on the fact that your Daddy will be coming home soon and I know that when he does no one else in the world will matter anymore." Doc hugged the boy, "what do you say we do that…OK?"

Matthew smiled and nodded, "OK, Pop Pop."

Doc stood, "now…I'm going to get your Aunt and we'll start dinner. Hungry?"

The children all nodded as Doc left the room.

Kitty was helped from the coach and was walking toward the entrance of the restaurant when from around the corner came John and Regina arm in arm laughing. John straightened and swallowed hard when he saw Kitty. They stood for a moment, staring, then Kitty weakly smiled, "and I thought only people who left my restaurant were that happy." She shrugged, "guess I was wrong."

John smiled, "I've never known a person who left that wasn't happy."

They stared into each other's eyes, "thank you for saying that John."

Regina cleared her throat. John looked over at her then back at Kitty. "We don't want to keep you. I'm sure you have a few things to do inside."

Kitty smiled, "have you had dinner yet?"

John shook his head, "uh…no."

Kitty pointed toward the building, "then why don't you have dinner…on me, of course."

John looked over at Regina and she agreed. They followed her into the restaurant, "Sally, Dr. Chapman and Mrs. Lawrence will be having dinner with us this evening. Find them a very romantic table, oh, and I'll take care of the bill."

"Yes, Miss Kitty."

She turned back to John and Regina, "have a good evening, you two."

Sally grabbed two menus, "right this way." They followed Sally to the table but John's eyes never left Kitty as she walked toward her office.

Kitty closed the office door and leaned her body against it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Doc was right John was very happy and he was in love. She knew because he used to look at her that way. She smiled when she thought about his gentle nature, his loving ways, his arms firmly wrapped around her. She shook her head to release those thoughts from her mind. It was only because the one man who promised to love and cherish her left her feeling unwanted, unloved, and ever since then her feelings were a jumble of puzzle pieces that didn't make sense. She sat down at her desk and opened the books. A knock at the door broke her concentration, "come in."

She turned to find John standing at the door, "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

She stood and walked toward him, "no, just working on the books."

He entered the room and closed the door behind him, "Kitty, I'm sorry I haven't been…"

Kitty raised her hand, "Doc told me all about your conversation." She paused a moment, "Regina does know you're here with me. I would hate to be accosted when I leave tonight."

John smiled, "funny thing, she really doesn't think about that anymore. In fact, she told me to come in and thank you very much for dinner."

"Well…that's a relief. It's nice to know I can stop watching my back from now on." Kitty walked over to the brandy decanter, "care for a drink?"

John nodded, "thank you."

Kitty handed John the glass. "You look well John. I guess your new life agrees with you."

He looked down and shrugged, "it hasn't been as bad as I thought it was going to be."

Their glasses touched in a toast, "you looked very dashing accepting your award the other night."

He smiled, "thank you."

Kitty sipped her drink, "yes, you and Regina made quite the couple and I'm very happy for you John."

He took a sip of his drink, "how are the children?"

Kitty smiled, "they're fine. They miss their Uncle John though."

John smiled, "well…I certainly miss them. You tell them I'm thinking about them…won't you?" Kitty nodded. "I heard Festus went back out looking for Matt."

Kitty nodded, "yes…we're certainly hoping for better results this time but I still have my doubts."

John stood closer, "doubts about what?"

"I sometimes wonder if my wandering husband still has feelings for me after all this time."

John took her by the shoulders, "Kitty, you listen to me, Matt loves you and he has always loved you and I know still does. We both know that it was a huge misunderstanding that sent him away and once Festus finds him and explains everything to him he'll be on the first train back to your arms."

Her eyes never left his, "I wish I could be so sure. I'm not exactly the most desirable woman in the world right now."

He gently ran his hand along her face, "I'm so sorry for the way things have turned out but never, ever, think for one moment you are no longer desirous." She smiled, "feel better?"

She nodded, "I always did whenever you were around."

They stared at each other for awhile, "well…I think I better get going. I've been away from Regina long enough." Kitty nodded as John put his glass on the table, "thank you again for dinner Kitty."

She smiled, "my pleasure." He kissed her forehead and made his way toward the door. She turned to pour herself another glass of brandy and heard the door close.

She sipped her drink, alone with her thoughts. As she moved toward her desk she jumped when she felt arms wrapping around her body and a hand removing the glass she was holding. He turned her around and gently kissed her lips. She kept her eyes closed wanting more, knowing she shouldn't. She could feel his hand caressing her face as she titled her head back slightly exposing her neck. His lips felt wonderful as they slowly moved down her throat. He cupped her head with his hands and passionately kissed her lips. Amid catching their breath he whispered in her ear. "You will always be desirous to me Kitty but I have to live my life." She opened her eyes, "my life is with Regina now and one day your life will be with Matt. I truly wish our lives could have been different but we have to live life as it comes."

John started to leave and Kitty grabbed his arm, "John…I…"

He placed his fingers over her mouth, "Kitty, you will never be mine, Matt will always be there in your heart. I can't be a substitute any longer and the time has long passed for us to just be friends again. I have a woman now who loves me with her whole heart and I'm trying so very hard to love her the same way. It hasn't been easy forgetting you Kitty but I keep working at it." He smiled, "I guess you aren't totally out of my system yet." She returned his smile, "I guess I really should be going now."

It was just a quick impulse when she pulled him into a passionate kiss. When they pulled apart she smiled, "just one for the road."

John chuckled, "I have missed you." This time she watched as he walked through the door and then the emptiness set in.

Regina smiled as John returned to the table, "everything all right John?"

He nodded as he grabbed Regina's hands, "yes, I told her that you're in my life now and I am going to make a future with you."

"How did she take it?"

John shook his head, "she is always so very gracious but I think it took her by surprise. I guess she was still under the impression that you were holding me against my will. It came as quite a shock to her to hear that I was very happy with my life…and you." He leaned over and kissed her hand, "Reggie, I am very happy with you in my life and I promise I will never let you forget that."

"Oh? And what did you have in mind Dr. Chapman?"

John smiled, "what I have in mind proper ladies and gentlemen wouldn't do in public."

"Go on…I'm listening."

John stood, "if you're finished with dinner I would like to take you home and feed you dessert."

Regina smiled and stood, "lead the way doctor." The happy couple left the restaurant and hailed a coach.

Kitty walked in the door totally exhausted. She kicked off her shoes, poured a drink, and plopped down on the sofa. She was too tired to even make her way upstairs. They had a very good night at _**Russell's**_ but it was her encounter with John that preyed on her mind. Doc thought he heard Kitty come in and made his way into the living room. "Rough evening?"

Kitty looked up at Doc, "couldn't sleep Curly?"

He sat down next to her and ran his hand over his moustache, "I can sleep just fine thank you but it's just that I worry about you when you're at the restaurant late at night."

Kitty waved him off with her hand, "nonsense Doc…haven't you heard I have plenty of knights in shining armor waiting to come to my defense." Doc eyed her as she threw down her drink. She handed him the glass, "you mind getting me another?"

He stood, went to the cabinet, and poured another drink. He sat down and handed her the glass. She quickly threw down the drink, "maybe you should slow up a little." She stared straight ahead and put the glass out in front of him to pour her another. He put the glass down on the table, "what's got you so upset this evening?"

She bent over to get her glass and looked back at Doc. "What's a woman have to do around here to get another drink?"

She quickly stood as did Doc. "Now…listen here young lady you're going to sit down and tell me what is bothering you. Liquor never solved anything."

"No, Curly, but it can make you feel numb and that's what I want to feel…numb!"

Doc grabbed her by the arms, "you sit down right here and tell me what happened."

After both were seated Kitty spoke softly holding back tears. "I met John and Regina as I was going into the restaurant tonight. I don't know why but I offered to buy them dinner. I went into my office and sometime later John knocked on the door. After asking about the children and the progress on finding Matt, he told me that he was very happy with Regina and that he was going to make a life with her."

Doc nodded, "that's what he told me too. Kitty, it's not like you didn't know all of this."

She nodded, "he told me he had to get back to Regina, kissed me on the forehead, and left."

Doc looked puzzled, "and that is what has you so upset you need to feel numb?"

She shook her head, "I had my back to the door when I heard the door close. Then I felt arms around me and the next thing I knew he was kissing me."

"Why that low down…"

Kitty turned to Doc as she grabbed his arm, "crazy thing was Doc I wanted him to. I wanted to lock that door and have him take me right there on the office floor but…"

"But what?"

"He told me I would never be his that Matt would always be in my heart and it was best for both of us if he stayed with Regina and I stayed with Matt."

Doc nodded his approval, "he's right…you know."

Kitty blankly stared into space as she whispered, "I don't know if Matt is still in my heart Doc. I try so hard to think about what life will be like when Matt returns but it gets harder every day. He has been away so long that I feel like we're strangers now. I don't know if we'll be able to rekindle what we had before."

Doc took her by the shoulders and stared into her eyes, "it certainly won't get any easier if your mind is always thinking about John. Kitty you are in a very vulnerable state right now and for John to take advantage of that is simply wrong. It seems our Dr. Chapman has a few things to work out also." Doc nodded, "I'm going to have a talk with him tomorrow."

Kitty shook her head, "Doc, please don't. I feel like a school girl needing my big brother to handle a situation I am fully capable of handling myself."

Doc wore a big grin, "I am, by the way, very flattered that you used big brother in that example." He ran his hand over his moustache, "you know…I feel so good about that comment that I think I'm going upstairs…and I may not do too much sleeping!" Doc gave her a wink.

Kitty chuckled, "I think you've told me too much already."

Doc held her hands, "Kitty, you may not believe it but I know for a fact that when Matt comes home you won't think twice about him taking you on an office floor or wherever else you happen to be standing at the moment. The passion you fear is no longer there for Matt is only dormant. You don't need John to make you feel good, you need Matt. You've always needed Matt and he has always needed you and the day that Festus brings him home you'll see what I mean. Now," he kissed her forehead, "I'm going upstairs and see if Margaret is still awake."

Kitty smiled, "thanks Doc. I don't know what I would do if you weren't here."

"Good night Kitty."

"Good night Doc." She watched him climb the stairs then went to pour herself another drink.

John and Regina's backs were propped up against the headboard as John fed her a puffed pastry filled with strawberries and whipped cream from Sister Jasmine's. "John I didn't know that you were actually going to feed me a dessert!"

"Isn't that what I said?"

Regina pouted, "I guess I misunderstood your meaning of dessert."

John put the pastry on the nightstand and wrapped Regina in her arms. "I guess we could find something else to do…I mean if the pastry wasn't to your liking."

Regina ran her fingers along his bare chest. "I'm sure something will come to you sooner or later." John smiled as he leaned over and ran his lips down Regina's body. She ran her hand through his hair and spoke in a whispered tone. "I feel so horrible that everyone else doesn't have what we have. I love you so much John."

John looked up at her and moved closer to kiss her lips, "we do have a wonderful life Reggie and it's only going to get better."

She sighed and ran her hand along his face, "I wonder what Kitty is doing now?"

John froze wondering where this questioning was going. He shrugged, "probably sleeping. The restaurant was packed tonight, she is probably exhausted."

She kissed his lips, "what did you do for her when she was exhausted?"

He gave her an exasperated look, "I was in the middle of making love to you. Why do you want to bring up the past?"

She played with his hair, "I'm just curious. Why shouldn't I know?"

John took a deep breath, "I've told you a million times, we were not intimate." He paused a moment, "if you must know I usually massaged her feet."

She ran her hands down his chest, "is that all you massaged?"

He was becoming annoyed, "yes…Regina!"

She pulled him into a passionate kiss, "you mean you never kissed Kitty like that before?"

He stared into her eyes as his encounter with Kitty that night ran through his mind. "Reggie, I think you've seen me kiss Kitty like that before so let's not play games. Even though it looked very real I need you to know we have always been just good friends and nothing more. Were there times I wanted our status to change? Yes, many times, but then I had to remind myself that she was a married woman and she could never be mine."

Regina was surprised by his honesty, "you did love her then?"

John nodded, "I did."

She played with the back of his hair, "did you ever tell her?"

John looked down and shook his head, "there are many times I question why I didn't.

She could almost feel his pain. She always suspected that John loved Kitty but now she knew for sure. His revelation filled her heart with joy that he was being completely open about his feelings. She found peace in that truthfulness as if he was purging ghosts from loves past. She never thought she could love him any more than she did but she found herself embracing a deeper more fulfilling love. She rolled him on his back and lay on top of his body as she ran her hand down his face, "it must have been so hard for you to go tell her goodbye tonight." John nodded, "I guess you had hoped for more of a response from her."

John looked confused, "what do you mean?"

"I mean you might have hoped that she wanted you to stay and make love to her. You know something she could remember you by."

John smiled when he remembered her tilted exposed neck and the definite feeling that was what she wanted. He sighed and he shook his head, "that would have been quite the storybook ending for me but she shook my hand and wished me well."

Regina smiled, "well, it looks like I'm going to have to make up for a lot this evening with Kitty turning you down and all." She worked her way down his body as he closed his eyes and let the sensations of her soft lips try to make him forget the love of his life.

When their bodies were one it was Kitty he felt, when she screamed his name it was Kitty's voice he heard, when his release finally came it was Kitty he was thinking about when he shouted, "I love you, oh God, how I love you, and when he lay on top of her reveling in their oneness it was Kitty's neck he gently kissed.

After he caught his breath he lay on his back and grabbed Regina into his arms. He passionately kissed her and held her tight. Regina had tears in her eyes, "I have waited so long to hear you say that." John eyes opened wide at the sound of Regina's voice and he stared at her hoping his deception wasn't very obvious. "We are going to have a wonderful life together John." She laid her head on his shoulder and quickly fell to sleep. John took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He lied to Kitty this evening…he was still very much in love with her.

Frank and Festus packed their mules then sat down for one last breakfast together. "Here's what I'm thinking. Long time ago Matt and I were tracking some outlaws into the Dakotas. If I recollect right Matt pointed out a few spots that he thought he could see himself living so I don't think we can overlook that part of the country. If he really wanted to get lost he might head there."

"Not saying ya don't knowd it right but won't it be dangerous for ol' Matthew ta be goin' up there ifn' outlaws go there ta hide?"

"The Dakotas are real wilderness Festus. If there are outlaws they might never cross paths for a hundred years. I know, we finally had to give up the search."

"Won't it be dangerous fer ya goin' there?"

Frank smiled, "I wasn't in the game as long as Matt so my enemies aren't as many as his. Anyway, I know a lot of Indians up around there, they'll keep me safe." Frank took a sip of his coffee, "OK, so I'll take the Dakotas, Nebraska, and Wyoming territory. You can take Colorado, Kansas and anywhere south you choose to go. Sound all right with you Festus?"

Festus nodded, "how ya fixed fer money?"

"I've got enough."

"Then ya better take some of this."

He handed the money to Frank, "Festus, I'm fine besides you're gonna' need every penny to live. I told you I can live with the Indians if need be."

"Fiddle, I just have ta telegram Miss Kitty and she be sendin' more money."

Frank shook his head, "I certainly don't want any of Kitty's hard earned money. From what you tell me she has four children to feed." Frank chuckled, "just can't see her pregnant."

"All right then but I knowd Miss Kitty be a disappointed ifn' I didn't give ya some money whilst ya helped find Matthew."

"Festus now…you have to promise me that you won't tell Kitty I'm helping you… all right?"

"Well…ifn' that ain't the blame stupidiest thing ta ask a person then I don't knowd what is."

"Festus, I have my reasons. Promise me?"

"Yeah, I promise ya but I'd never understand why."

Frank looked at him with amusement, "now that that's settled I'll make us a breakfast that'll last us half a day."

As they made their way to the mules Festus turned to Frank, "let's say Frank ya find ol' Matthew. How'd I know ta stop lookin"?

"If I find Matt Festus I'm bringing him straight home. When you telegram Kitty always stay there for a response. You'll know."

"Sounds like ya got it all figured out."

Frank smiled, "now if finding Matt was only going to be that easy." He shook Festus' hand, "good luck Festus."

"You too…lil' Katie is dependin' on us."

Frank walked to his horse and Festus to his mule. They mounted and gave each other a nod as Frank headed east and Festus south.


	30. New Beginnings For Some, Others Wait!

A light snow was beginning to fall when Festus reached Fort Collins. It was the middle of October and although he wanted to search a few more weeks he thought it wise to find warm shelter before he found himself caught in a blinding blizzard. He checked into the hotel and hurried off to the telegraph office. With any luck, Frank had found Matt and then Festus would take his chances on making it to Denver and head on home. He looked across the street and noticed a saloon and after greasing the palm of the operator with a generous tip asked that the response be delivered over to the hotel. He needed a drink and across the street looked as good as any place in town for one. He walked through the doors of the Pine Tree Tavern, "what'd ya have mister?"

"Whiskey."

The bartender poured him a drink, "new in town?" Festus nodded, "ya gonna' stay or just passin' through?"

"I might be a stayin' fer a spell." Festus set down a coin and threw down the drink.

"Been on the road long?"

"Might say I be."

"I think you'll find this town as good as any and probably better than most."

Festus nodded again and signaled for another drink. The bartender poured and he threw down the second drink as well. "Much obliged." He placed another coin on the bar and left.

He entered his hotel room, took off his gun belt and boots then threw his body down on the soft mattress. Within minutes he was sound asleep.

Festus was slow to respond to the incessant knocking on the door as he tried to focus his eyes in the darkened room. He slowly rose and made his way to the door. "Who'd it be?"

"It's Johnny, Mister Haggen. I'm from the telegraph office. I have the telegram you were waiting for."

Festus lit the lamp and swung open the door. He looked at the piece of paper in the boy's hand, "Johnny, da ya think yer can read this ta me? I broke my spectacles on the road."

"Sure Mister Haggen it says, "glad you found shelter STOP we'll wait another winter STOP need anything ask STOP be careful STOP we all send our love STOP Kitty

Festus looked down, "you need anything else Mister Haggen?"

Festus shook his head and handed him a tip, "no, much obliged."

Johnny looked at the coin, "thank you Mister Haggen, thank you so very much." Festus closed the door as Johnny ran down the stairs. He moved over to the bed again and lay down. It was going to be a long winter.

Matt was leaving his room when he glanced across the hall and saw Little Fawn feeding the baby. She didn't notice him standing there as he took a moment to recall the days when Kitty nursed their children and how that used to excite him. Not understanding why he shook his head and made his way to the front room. He looked out the window, "looks like we're getting our first snow. Hope it isn't a long winter."

Little Fawn emerged from the room with her son in her arms. She walked over to Running Fox, "boy fed, take him, I cook meal."

Running Fox took his son in his arms and sat in the chair. Matt watched father and son for awhile in silence then he cleared his throat, "you know Running Fox I was thinking. Maybe the first sign of spring we could enlarge your side of the cabin to make a little room for your son. Before we know it, he'll be full grown."

The Indian nodded, "good idea Dillon. We plan over winter."

Matt looked over at the dimming embers in the fire then at the cords of the wood in the corner of the cabin, "maybe I should fetch us some wood, looks like we're running low."

They watched him walk outside and close the door. Little Fawn turned to Running Fox, "husband, you think something wrong with Dillon?"

Running Fox shook his head, "looks same to me."

Little Fawn looked concerned, "he not very happy. I think he miss family."

"Why you say that?"

She shrugged, "since we have boy he think more." She continued to stir the food, "I think I talk to him."

"Not talk to him. He tell us when he wants."

She took a deep breath, "you not know him. He keep things inside…not good."

Running Fox looked down at his son, "he want to go home…he go home. No need to talk."

The door flung open with a gust of wind, "it's blowin' up out there but I think this should get us through the night." Matt kicked the door closed as he set the cords of wood on the pile in the corner of the room. He turned to see his friends staring at him. "Anything wrong?"

Little Fawn smiled, "nothing wrong Dillon, come, we have food now."

He rubbed his hands to warm them from the cold. He walked toward the table with a huge grin, "boy, am I hungry." Running Fox looked at his wife with a smug grin on his face. Matt seemed happy to him but Little Fawn was not about to let her husband change her mind. There was something definitely wrong with her friend and whether her husband agreed or not she would one day find out exactly what it was.

John was a block from his office when he heard someone call his name. He turned around to see Gerard Rousseau approaching. "Well, Gerard, what brings you into my neighborhood?"

"I had a client a few blocks away and thought why don't I stop in and see my good friend John. Care for a cup of coffee?"

"I wish I could today but I have a full day of patients waiting for me...tomorrow perhaps?"

Gerard shook his head, "my calendar is pretty full tomorrow. I'll tell you what I'll walk you to your office and if you have a few minutes to chat, we shall do so."

They walked into John's office in silence. Gerard sat in the chair in front of John's desk as he changed into his doctor's coat. He turned to his friend, "so what's on your mind Gerard?"

"John, I wanted to thank you."

John sat at the end of his desk, "for what?"

"For coming to your senses. I have never seen Regina so happy before."

John smiled, "she has made me very happy too Gerard."

"That is wonderful to hear. You will find that Regina is not like the other women you've known. She is a very loyal and loving companion."

John bristled at Gerard's insinuation, "if you are referring to Kitty we will have to agree to disagree. You didn't know her the way I did."

"Oh," Gerard laughed, "that is for sure my friend but I know her type."

John tried to control his anger, "what was the reason for your visit today Gerard? Was it really to tell me how happy you are for Regina and I or did you want to get one final shot in at Kitty?"

Gerard put his hands up, "John, I am sorry. I know what Kitty meant to you once and it wasn't right of me to continue to assail her character."

John nodded, "Regina is my life now Gerard. No other woman matters."

Gerard smiled, "you put my mind at ease. I was a little concerned for a minute there when you quickly came to Kitty's defense again."

"She should be defended Gerard. She is not like you perceive her to be. I know you think that she was leading me on but I was the one who had the feelings. I wanted her in my life and I would have done anything to keep her but that is all in the past." John stood and sat back behind his desk, "I will admit that when Regina entered my life again I was miserable. She wasn't Kitty and I fought getting to know her but now that I have I really love having her around."

Gerard's face broke into a huge grin, "I think that decision was the best one you have ever made in your life and you will never be disappointed by Regina. She is a very good woman and she will make you happy for the rest of your life."

John smiled, "she has so far and I can never see that changing."

Gerard stood, "I think I have taken up enough of your time today John." John stood and walked around his desk and Gerard hugged his good friend, "maybe I'll be invited to a wedding soon?"

John blushed, "you never know Gerard."

He slapped John on the back, "I will be patiently waiting then." He opened the door then turned back to John, "I owe you a cup of coffee."

John nodded, "I'll hold you to that." Gerard closed the door and John walked back to his desk chair. He fell back into the chair and put his feet up on his desk. Marriage…he knew one day this would become an issue but could he really entertain the thought when the night in the back office of _**Russell's**_ played over and over in his mind?

As it was every year, the house was still so brightly decorated for Christmas but those celebrating in the big house were few. The children were all in bed and Doc, Maggie, and Kitty were finally able to relax after a long day. They looked at all the children's presents strewn under the Christmas tree as they sipped their drinks. "Kitty I think you overdid it on the gifts for the children this year. You're going to spoil them."

Kitty weakly smiled, "they're all I got Doc."

He ran his hand over his moustache, "well, I still say you spoil them." Doc paused, "we haven't heard anything from Festus lately…have we?"

Kitty shook her head, "he must be going stir crazy especially living in a strange town without any thing to do until spring."

"Oh…don't worry about him, he'll find something to do. Don't forget, he was in a strange town when he first came to Dodge. He makes friends quickly," Doc tugged on his ear, "then we all live to regret it."

Kitty chuckled, "oh you…you miss him as much as I do...I know you do."

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "of course I do and I'll tell you another thing. There's no one else in the world who would sacrifice his comfort to find a friend no matter how long it took." Doc nodded, "don't ever tell him I said this but he is one of a kind…and I mean that in a very complimentary way."

Kitty smiled, "won't Matt be surprised when he sees Festus ride up." She sighed, "I just hope that Matt will be happy when he sees him."

Across town John and Regina sat on the sofa admiring their tree. "I think this was the best one yet." He looked down at Regina who was snuggled in his arms, "and do you know why?" She shook her head, "because you decorated it."

She smiled, "I did do a pretty good job."

He ran his hand down her back, "the best I've ever seen."

She fondled the heart necklace he had given her, "this is really beautiful John. I love it."

He took it in his hand, "you have captured my heart Reggie." She looked up and he kissed her passionately. They stared into each other's eyes, "you are very dear to me."

He held her close as she nuzzled against his neck, "John?"

"Yes?"

"We have been together now for awhile and I…well…" She looked up at him, "will you marry me John?"

He swallowed hard, flustered by her proposal, "Reggie, don't you think I should be asking that question?"

"Most of the time the man does but I'm beginning to think that you're never going to get around to it."

He kissed her, "and how can you be so certain about that?"

She shrugged, "I guess I'm just scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Losing you."

"Oh Reggie," He kissed her, "you're not going to lose me…ever." He ran his fingers down her face. "No woman could ever take me away from you."

"Do you love me John?"

He smiled, "you know I do."

"Then say it."

"I just did."

She shook her head, "I want to hear those three words. I only heard those words come from your lips one time and that was when we made love after having dinner at _**Russell's**_."

"Reggie, you're being silly now. I'm sure I've said it since then and probably before."

She sat up, "John, you only said it once. I know because it's a day I will remember always."

He reached over and held her tight as he stroked her back. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "I love you." He kissed the top of her head. "And one day we will get married but I want to do it the traditional way." He picked her head up with his fingers, "so, no more asking me…all right?"

She smiled, "I love you so much John," and nuzzled her head under his chin. As the clock struck midnight John thought about holidays past with children and beautiful redheads.

It had been snowing sporadically for a few days now. Matt looked out his room's window and thought just another February up north. He lay back down on his mat and took the pictures into his hands. He yearned for Kitty's touch even now and for every day that they were apart he died a little more inside. He was miserable in his present living conditions but he was going to have to make the best of it. He stared at the pictures for a while longer and then made his way out to the front room. Little Fawn was making breakfast, Running Fox was playing with his son, and Brave Bear was sitting in the corner of the room as usual. "Good morning."

She dished the meal on a plate and placed it on the table, "it is good morning Dillon…sit...eat."

Matt sat down as he was told and breathed in the aromatic smell, "mmm…smells delicious."

She slapped his arm, "eat…not smell."

He smiled, "yes ma'am." As he ate he looked up when he heard her humming a melody. "You seem to be in a very good mood this morning."

She couldn't hold it in any longer, "Dillon, I'm with child again."

He quickly stood and hugged her, "congratulations. I'm so happy for you both."

Matt turned to Running Fox to see him beaming from ear to ear, "guess we need make cabin bigger now."

Matt nodded, "by golly, I'll say we have to." Matt sat back down and finished his meal. The spring couldn't come fast enough.

It had only taken two days for Festus to become stir crazy. Even though his stay in Fort Collins was paid for he needed to do something to occupy his time until he could go searching for Matt again. He had walked down to the livery stable after breakfast on the fourth day of his stay and as luck would have it they had a job opening. Practically the whole town boarded their horses there in the winter so between the feeding, brushing, and mucking of the stalls Festus was kept busy. He was quick to make friends and every night he would hang out at the Pine Tree Tavern before he retired for the evening. He had just gotten paid and was making his way to the Tavern as he passed the Iron Horse Café. He stood for a moment and looked down at the coins in his hand and decided to splurge for dinner. He looked around the room and saw one vacant table tucked away in the corner. He made his way over and sat down. Out of the corner of his eye he could see movement and then he heard voices, "how many times I gotta' tell you I don't do that no more. Now I don't mind you having a drink with me but you're not going to get anything else."

The man wouldn't leave her alone and he tried to hug and kiss her, "Belle, now honey, you didn't have no problem last year. I thought we had a real nice time."

Belle snickered, "with you maulin' me? I should have charged you double with all the time you took. Did you even know what you were doing?"

The man's anger was rising, "you think you're so special? Maybe if you were more enticing and didn't just lay there letting me do all the work you might have enjoyed yourself. No two bit whore gonna' tell me I don't know how to please a woman."

"Yeah, well, this two bit whore just did."

Everything happened so quick that Festus was unable to stop the man before he slapped Belle across the face with such force it propelled her into Festus' table. Festus stood and stopped the man before he could hit Belle again. "Now mister, I think ya best be a settlin' down and leave this here lady alone."

He laughed, "lady?"

"That's what I just said. She don't wanna' be bothered wit' ya that is as plain as I can say it."

He pointed to Festus, "oh…I get it. You think now she will be so thankful to you that she'll give you one for free?" He hit Festus' arm, "good luck buddy, I didn't want her anyway. She's too old and used up."

Festus eyed the stranger. He looked more a dude then cowboy so he was pretty certain there was no sand to him at all, "I be thinkin' you be needin' to apologize to the lady here."

The man's voice went up a few octaves, "apologize?"

"That be what I said. Now, ya can apologize real nice like or ya can do it afta I beat ya within an inch of ya worthless life." Festus waited a moment for an answer. "What'd it be?"

The man stared at Festus not wanting to back down but not wanting to be seriously hurt either. He snarled at Belle, "I apologize."

She nodded her head as he made his way to the door. Festus made sure he was on his way then turned to Belle. "Yer all right ma'am?"

Belle smiled as she grabbed at her jaw, "thanks to you."

Festus blushed, "ah…wasn't nothin'." He put her face between his fingers to examine it, "maybe we should get the doc to look at that."

She waved him off, "it'll heal. Not like I haven't been slapped before."

"Yer been havin' men trouble fer long?"

She smiled, "I guess all my life." She pointed to the chair for Festus to sit down, "you know…I don't even know your name."

"Festus, ma'am, Festus Haggen."

"Well…Festus Haggen…have a seat and let me buy you a drink."

Festus smiled and sat down, "much obliged." Belle signaled for some drinks to be brought over to the table. "Ifn' ya don't mind me a askin' why ya stay in a place like this?"

She ran her hand over her cheek, "I ask myself that all the time. The men who come in here are bad enough when they're sober but with a few drinks in them they're unbearable. Not one of them has any social grace or even knows how to treat a woman." Belle thought a moment, "that's not true, a man came in here once who I could tell would be able to make a woman feel real good."

The bartender brought a bottle with two glasses. Belle poured the drinks then lifted her glass in a toast, "here's to you Festus." She threw down the drink.

Festus sipped on his, "so what happen' wit' this here man you was talkin' about?"

Belle shrugged, "well…I walked up to him and tried to get him to stay the night but he wasn't very interested." She poured herself another drink. "I tried everything I knew to get him to stay but he politely refused." She threw the next drink down just as fast. "Maybe Carl is right…I am too old and washed up." She took a deep breath, "the day I can't get a married man up to my room for a little fun I am washed up."

Festus waved his hand, "oh, don't be a sayin' that Miss Belle. He don't know nothin' 'bout shemales. Yer pretty enough fer any man."

She smiled, "thanks Festus. If only that stranger felt the same way." She looked away, "what I wouldn't have given to spend one night with my body wrapped around his."

"He still round town, is he?"

"No, and he never came back." She poured another drink. "She's some lucky woman that's for sure."

Festus looked puzzled, "what woman?"

"The woman he wouldn't be unfaithful to. Told me he was married and he didn't want to do that to his wife." She twirled the glass around the table with her fingers, "can you imagine that…a man not wanting to hurt a woman." She threw down the third drink, "he was a rare find Festus and I just wish I could have convinced him to stay."

"Ifn' ya don't mind me askin' what did this here man look like?"

She smiled, "He was a tall as a tree, so very handsome, and he had a kind and gentle nature about him." She snapped her fingers. "He did buy a bottle of our finest whiskey saying something about maybe owning a place."

Festus stared at Belle with a squinted eye, "when did this here stranger pass through last?"

Belle shrugged, "oh…I don't know…maybe a year or so ago."

"Did ya knowd which way he went?"

She shook her head, "it was so long ago." She tried to remember, "I think he might have headed east but then he could have just as well gone north after he got out of my sight." She looked at Festus, "why you want to know which way he went for?"

"I'm a thinkin' he be a good friend of mine."

Belle poured another drink, "stands to reason."

"What does Miss Belle?"

"That you and he would be friends." She swirled the liquid around her glass. She was deep in thought when Belle heard his stomach growl. "I guess you came in here for some food."

"I sure did and I be plum proud ifn' ya 'et wit' me."

She tried to decline, "I'm not much company."

Festus waved his hand, "fiddle, ya need to eat…don't ya?"

"I probably should be working the room."

"I be a payin' yer whatever ya be gettin' just walkin' round here."

"Festus, I haven't been going upstairs since your friend left but for you I would make an exception."

Festus blushed, "as nice as that be a soundin' I just ain't gonna' be able ta do that."

Belle put her hand on her hip, "don't tell me you have a wife too?"

"No ma'am never got round ta that."

"Why then?"

"Maybe I be old and washed up too." Festus smiled. "Dinner offer still stands though."

Belle thought a moment and smiled, "not every day a woman comes across two gentlemen. Mr. Haggen I'd be delighted to have dinner with you." She signaled for the barkeep and he took their orders.

Little Fawn had put her son down for his nap and walked out into the front room. She walked over to the window and saw Matt sitting out on the porch deep in thought. He turned as she opened the door. She rubbed her hands briskly against her arms, "it cold here Dillon, why you not come in?"

"I'm not cold…some beautiful Indian woman made me this very warm coat." He ran his hand along the sleeve.

She smiled, "you not think so long ago."

Matt raised his arms, "all right, you were right. Now you better get inside where it's warm. You can't afford to be sick not with the baby coming and all."

She ducked back inside and grabbed an animal skin and wrapped it around her shoulders. "I warm now Dillon." She sat down next to him.

Matt looked over at her, "what's on your mind?"

Little Fawn looked surprised by his question, "nothing on mind."

Matt was skeptical, "oh?"

"Can't I get air like you get air?"

Matt made a sweeping gesture with his arm, "then breathe away."

"Or if friend want to talk."

Matt leaned toward her and whispered, "you got something you want to tell me?"

Little Fawn made a face at his last comment, "I here to listen."

Matt looked straight ahead, "Little Fawn you've come to know me pretty well and I know you sense I haven't been my normal cheery self."

She looked puzzled, "you have cheery self?"

Matt laughed, "I guess I opened myself up for that one." He put his hand over her arm. "You having the baby and now pregnant again brings back lots of memories for me, very good memories, days I wish I had back." He looked away, "there are times I think about going home…seeing Kitty again…my children again…I do miss them but…"

"But what Dillon?"

Matt leaned back in the chair, "I'm afraid of what I'll see in her eyes."

She looked at Matt, "I think you see love."

Matt nodded, "in some of my dreams I do. I can see me walking through the front door, twirling her around the room and her laughter rings in my ears, and she tells me all is forgiven… but then there are those other dreams."

"What they like Dillon?"

Matt ran his hands over his face as if to wipe the vision clear, "she stands there in shock not knowing what to say and then, I don't know, maybe out of pity or obligation she lets me stay. No love, no emotion, just existence."

Little Fawn thought for a moment. "Dillon, I know in heart that laughter and love you find. The day you believe…is day you go home."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I woman, I love man, I love him for life. Kitty do too, this I know." She stood and turned back to Matt. "Your heart show you way. Come it get cold." Matt stood and followed her into the cabin. He walked to his room, removed his coat, and lay down on the mat. He put his hands behind his head and thought. Little Fawn made it sound so simple...maybe it really was.

Doc and Maggie were taking a neighborhood stroll on a bright sunny spring day when Maggie turned to Doc, "Galen, what time is it?"

Doc flipped opened his pocket watch, "half past four. Why?"

"I think we better be getting back. I have supper to prepare and Miss Kitty has to leave for the restaurant."

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "Maggie, now, Kitty can take care of herself. Besides we can't be expected to be there forever."

Maggie looked confused, "why…were else would we be?"

Doc smiled as he turned Maggie around to face a neighboring house. "Here."

"What?"

Doc tugged on his ear, "talked to the bank yesterday. If you approve, it's ours."

Maggie stood stunned for a moment, "how can we afford this?"

He put his arm around her, "I don't want you to worry about the details. All I want you to do is tour the house and let me know what you think. If you really like it we can move in almost immediately."

She kissed him, "oh, Galen, let's go look." He put his arm around her waist as they proceeded up the pathway to the house.

Festus was fastening the cinch under the mule when the stable owner approached. "Sorry to see ya go Festus."

Festus turned to face him, "now, Jed, I done 'preciate ya givin' me a job when ya did. It was right neighborly of ya."

Jed extended his hand, "you always got a job back here if ya need it Festus. I just want ya to know that."

Festus shook the man's hand, "much obliged." Festus led his two mules out in front of the livery. "Ifn' I ever gets back this here a way, I just might take ya up on ya offer."

"Well…I certainly hope that ya do." He watched Festus mount the mule. "And I hope you find your friend."

Festus waved in acknowledgement then kicked the mule to move forward. He was moving slowly down the main street of the town when he heard a woman's voice calling him. He turned around to see Belle running from the Iron Horse café. She tried to catch her breath, "Festus…I wish you all the luck in the world finding your friend…and," she touched his leg with her hand, "be real careful and be safe."

"I intend to Miss Belle."

"It's been nice getting to know you these past few months."

He leaned closer to her as he stared into her eyes, "Miss Belle it's been real nice knowdn' ya too. I ain't never gonna' ferget ya, that's fer sure."

She smiled, "that's nice to know."

He wanted to reach out and kiss her or at the very least touch her face but he was frozen in the saddle, "Miss Belle, I gots ta tell ya somethin'."

"What's that?"

"Well…it's kinda hard fer me to tell it," He paused for a moment, "well I guessin' I just come on out with it…I'd knowd me my share of shemales but there ain't nobody come close ta ya."

She smiled, "thank you Festus and you know there's always a room waiting for you at the Iron Horse."

"I may just come on back here one of these days."

"That's nice to hear." He touched her hand then straightened up in the saddle. "Oh, and Festus?"

"Yes Miss Belle?"

"If you do find your friend and bring him back home can you do me a favor?"

"Anythin'."

"Tell his wife how much in love with her he is and that she is one lucky woman."

Festus tipped his hat, "I'll doer."

As Festus headed east out of town Belle waved after him, "bye Festus." She took a deep breath, turned, and walked back to the Iron Horse. With any luck, gentlemen came in threes.

It was a hot, muggy August day in New Orleans. The truck had pulled up in front of the Adams' residence unloading the first of the furniture. Kitty was standing inside supervising the arrangement of the pieces when Maggie brought her a glass of cold ice tea. "Miss Kitty, I still say this is entirely too much. Look at all the furniture."

"Nonsense…besides when you buy in bulk you usually get a discount." She smiled at Maggie and winked.

Maggie sipped her tea, "discount or no it still must have cost you a fortune."

"Maggie, I don't want you to spend another minute worrying about it. As long as you and Doc like it, that's my only concern." Kitty noticed they were putting a piece of furniture in the wrong place, "no, no, not there," she walked over to where she wanted it placed, "right here…perfect."

Maggie smiled as she turned and went to check on the children.

Festus had been in the saddle for weeks. He had stayed at the cabin he suspected was Caleb's for a few days and by the shape it was in he knew no one had lived in it since he was in it last. He could check this cabin off the list of places Matt had come back to. He saw a cabin in the distance and prodded his mule in that direction. As he came closer he noticed an Indian woman holding a child and by the looks of things she was about ready to give birth again. He stopped in front of her and a look of familiarity spread across his face, "Howdy ma'am," he tipped his hat, "I done believe I ran into ya before." If Little Fawn had recognized him she wasn't about to tip her hand, "I be lookin' fer a friend of mine, tall man, dark hair."

She eyed the stranger not sure whether she could trust him with the knowledge she had. She thought for a moment then shook her head, "plenty men pass here. Don't know if friend or not."

Festus took off his hat and ran his arm along his forehead, "it sure be a scorcher, mind ifn' I get me some water and water my mules?" Little Fawn pointed toward the well. Festus dismounted and walked toward it. He pulled the pail up and took a generous drink, "much obliged." He walked back to the mules, pail in hand, mumbling to himself. "I've been on this here animal fer months now. I thought fer sure my friend came this a way but I guess I be wrong. I wisht he had stayed in New Or-a-lins, woulda made my life a lot better, I'll tell ya that much."

Little Fawn walked closer as Festus gave his mules a drink, "this friend come from where?"

Festus handed Little Fawn the pail, "New Or-a-lins, very far away. Had ta take me a train first and I been ridin' ever since."

He mounted the mule, "what friend do?"

Festus shook his head, "he done nothin' but leave his wife and youngins behind. Gonna' try 'n talk some sense inta him whens I find him." Festus grabbed the reins, "much obliged fer the water," and before she could say another word he kicked the mule and was gone from sight.

It was an exceptionally hot middle of September in New Orleans. Doc and Maggie were comfortably in their new home and although they came to the Dillon house everyday it was very lonely at night for Kitty with everyone gone. The children were out in the yard playing and she sat down on the sofa and read the morning paper. Her eyes widened when she reached the announcement page.

**Prominent Doctor Announces Engagement**

Dr. John Chapman and Regina Lawrence have announced their engagement. Dr. Chapman surprised Mrs. Lawrence over the weekend during her birthday celebration. Dr. Chapman is the renowned surgeon at the Touro Infirmary and Mrs. Lawrence is the long time secretary to Gerard Rousseau, of the Rousseau Detective Agency. The happy couple are planning a wedding "the likes of which New Orleans has never seen," according to the future bride. The wedding date has not been set or as in the words of the future groom, "we've jumped one hurdle, now on to the next." We will definitely be covering what sounds to be the event of the year!

Kitty put the paper down as Doc and Maggie came through the front door. They walked toward her, "good morning Kitty, catching up on a little reading?"

She smiled and took a deep breath, "I was just reading about the social event of the year."

Doc tugged on his ear, "oh…you saw that too huh?"

She pointed to the paper, "I swear I'm going to stop subscribing to this gossip column rag."

Doc motioned toward Maggie, "I'm dying for a cup of coffee Maggie."

She knew that was his cue to have some alone time with Kitty, "I'll see what's out there."

Doc sat down next to her on the sofa, "are you all right?"

Kitty smiled, "surprisingly so but I'm not sure why. Maybe it was John's quote that made me feel better."

"You mean the jumping hurdle comment?"

Kitty looked puzzled, "it is a strange response when someone is asking when your wedding day will be…don't you think?"

Doc put his hand on her arm, "I wouldn't read anything into this young lady. We have to concentrate on Matt. Have you heard anything lately from Festus?"

Kitty shook her head, "no nothing Doc. It seems like he's been all over. The last telegram I received from him he was in Topeka."

"He's certainly not leaving any stone unturned is he?"

Kitty shook her head, "I really don't think that Matt would go back into Kansas. Too many people know him there."

Doc rubbed his hand over his moustache, "maybe so but Festus is being very thorough. Sometimes where you think someone might not be is exactly where they are."

Maggie reentered the room with three cups of coffee. Kitty reached up, "thanks Maggie."

She gave Doc his then sat down on the chair across from Doc and Kitty as they continued their conversation, "As I said Doc, I just don't think that Matt would venture into Kansas. I don't know where he is but I'm pretty sure he's not there."

They sat in silence for a few moments then Maggie looked up, "I checked on the children while I was in the kitchen. They certainly play well together."

Kitty chuckled, "they have their moments."

Maggie smiled, "I know they do but they couldn't have asked for a better mother. You are so good with them."

Kitty smiled, "thanks Maggie. I sometimes wonder if I'm doing enough to make up for their missing father." A loud knock startled the group. "I wonder who this could be before noon." Kitty walked over to the door and opened it. She didn't utter a word but remain transfixed staring wide eyed at the man standing in the doorway.


	31. If I Only Knew Then What I Know Now

"Well, Kitty, can I come in?"

Without a sound Kitty let the door open wide. He smiled as he entered the house and dropped his carpet bag to the floor. On impulse he reached out and scooped her up in his arms and twirled both of them around the foyer as her laughter permeated the rooms. In disbelief, Doc slowly stood and looked over at Maggie. He helped her from the chair as they made their way to the deliriously happy couple. He finally set Kitty down and let his eyes take in the sight of her. Their moment was interrupted by a familiar voice, "What in good heavens are you doing here?"

He turned to Doc and smiled, "is that any way to talk to someone who has been on the road for some time now?" He smiled as he extended his hand, "it's good to see you Doc."

The children had heard their mother's laughter out in the yard and came running into the foyer. Seeing how happy their mother was with this male stranger they all wondered if maybe this could be their father. He stood for a moment looking over the children then squatted in front of Matthew. "Well, there's no denying whose child you are." He looked back at Kitty, "he is the spitting image of Matt."

Matthew looked over at his mother, "Matthew, this is your Uncle Frank."

Matthew's little heart sank and he tried very hard not to show it. He wasn't sure why but he felt his father would want it that way. Frank turned back to the boy and extended his hand, "It's a real pleasure to know you Matthew." Words were not coming easy so Matthew just shook his hand.

Frank moved on to Katie, "by golly, if you aren't as beautiful as your mother." Mimicking her brother, Katie extended her hand. Frank gently took it and tenderly kissed it as she smiled. He stared at the twins then turned to Kitty. "It's funny how one looks so much like Matt and then the other looks so much like you." Frank stood and walked back to Kitty, "I still say I would have given anything to have seen you pregnant."

Kitty smiled, "I thought you knew by now Frank that I am capable of doing anything at any time."

He laughed, "I know that but that doesn't mean I can't still be amazed!"

She put her hand on his shoulder, "but how did you even know we were here Frank?"

"Festus came a callin' in the spring wanting to know if I had seen Matt. He filled me in."

Doc tugged on his ear, "so, how long were you thinking of staying?"

"Well, Doc, the winters in Montana are cold and these old bones just ain't getting any younger. I needed a change of scenery for awhile and what better place to be then with old friends." He turned to Kitty, "if you know anyone who might have a place I can stay for a few months I'll make my way over there right now and make the arrangements."

She waved her hand, "I won't hear of it. The back bedroom is empty and although it might be a little too feminine for your male sensibilities I think you'll find it comfortable enough."

"Kitty, now, I don't need to put you out."

"Nonsense Frank. I have the room besides with everyone gone it will be nice to have someone in the evenings to talk with."

He still wasn't convinced, "you sure?"

"Frank Reardon if you leave this house I will never speak to you again!"

Frank looked over at Doc and smiled, "I guess I'm staying."

Kitty rolled her eyes, "have you had anything to eat?" He shook his head, "come on then I'll fix you a little something."

Running Fox had gone to find the native mid-wife as Matt attended to Little Fawn. He tried his best to comfort her with soothing cold towels but it seemed they weren't helping very much. She looked up at him and there was something in her eyes that he had never seen before. He couldn't explain it but it was as if life was slowly draining from them. In between her intermittent screams he tried his best to reassure her that everything would be just fine but he felt so helpless. "Tell me what to do Little Fawn."

She looked over at her good friend and knew she needed to tell him the one thing she had kept inside for a few weeks, now was not the time for secrets. She grabbed his arm and tried one last time to give him a reason to go home. She spoke in whispered tones between the swiftly reoccurring pains. "Dillon, must go home."

He leaned forward, "what did you say Little Fawn?"

"You must go home, promise me."

He stroked her hair, "why don't you worry about having this baby and we'll talk about that later."

A wicked pain shot through her body and she screamed, "No!" She held his arm tighter, "you must go home…now!" He didn't want to argue with her and make her unbearable situation more painful so he didn't respond. Little Fawn looked at him again, "Kitty looking for you."

"What?"

"Man come weeks ago. Afraid he bad man sent him on way." The next pain jettisoned her into Matt's arms. He gently placed her back on the mat. She continued to breathe quickly until the pain subsided. "I think long on this…I think now he know you."

"What did this man look like?"

"Had little hair on face, talk very funny, talk about New Or…" She held Matt again as the tears from the pain slid down her face.

"New Orleans….did he say New Orleans?"

She nodded, "Kitty still love you. I told you Dillon. Woman love man forever." Matt swallowed hard as he tried to keep the tears of joy from his eyes, "promise me Dillon, you go home. I want to know that you go home."

"What do you say we let this little baby be born and then you can personally help me pack?"

She shook her head, "not know if I be there. Not feel like last time. Not feel good."

He placed another cool towel over her forehead, "I bet you this one is probably a girl that's why it feels different. You know how hard headed women can be."

She smiled through her pain, "you funny Dillon."

He kept applying the cool towels and stroking her hair, "you just think about the beautiful baby you are bringing into the world and everything will be all right."

Frank breathed in the New Orleans air as he and Kitty sat on the rockers sipping drinks on the veranda outside the master bedroom. "You sure have a wonderful life here Kitty. A beautiful home, beautiful, healthy children, a thriving business…"

Kitty interrupted his thought, "but no husband."

Frank shook his head, "I'm sorry about that."

Kitty chuckled, "why are you sorry?"

"Matt's my best friend and I guess…well…I guess I feel the need to apologize." He took a sip of his drink, "Festus gave me a shortened version of what life has been like in New Orleans. I'd like to hear the rest from you." He took her hand and stared into her eyes, "only if you feel up to talking about it."

She smiled, "it's nice of you to ask Frank but do you really want to hear all of my trials and tribulations?"

He smiled, "you know I do."

She cocked her head to the side, "all right then be prepared for a very long and boring story."

He smiled, "I dare you to bore me."

She chuckled, "suit yourself." She took a sip of her drink. "Once upon a time we were having coffee one morning in the Long Branch. Some men came to rob the bank and when Matt tried to stop them they shot up his right arm real good. We all thought he was going to lose the arm but Doc managed to save it...only thing was he wouldn't be able to use it for a long while. Matt, in his infinite wisdom, thought it best if he left town and even after I pleaded with him to stay…off he went. He had been gone for months and I had resigned myself to the fact that he was never coming back. I had decided to sell the Long Branch and leave town so one night trying to get the books in order Matt returned. I had never been so happy to see anyone in my life. Needless to say we spent a very long and loving night together but because he was away for so long and the suddenness of his arrival I neglected to use any protection." She turned to him, "Frank, it was the first time that I came first in Matt's life and, I have to admit, I loved it. Matt recuperated in my room; we talked about his retirement, we discussed where we were going to live," Kitty paused to remember, "I had never been happier in my life. Matt and I were finally going to be together, really together, and I was like a school girl with her first crush. Then the new Marshal decided he had enough of Dodge and moved on. Matt's arm was serviceable at that point so he decided he was going to take the job until they could find a replacement. I don't have to tell you that I was furious. All our planning meant nothing to him and although he tried to convince me this was only temporary I knew better. I will admit he did make an effort to be with me more but then one day some outlaw needed to be brought to justice and he felt he was the only one who could do the job so on his horse he went. While he was away my body started feeling very different, I really can't describe it but I knew there was definitely something going on. I went to New Orleans to see a doctor I knew there and he confirmed, what I had suspected, that I was pregnant."

"Why did you go all the way to New Orleans? Didn't you think that Doc could diagnose your pregnancy?"

"Frank, I didn't want anyone to know…not anyone. You know what would have happened if that information got into the wrong hands? I didn't want any marauding murderous bands of renegades coming into Dodge and threatening lives to find out my whereabouts. It had happened before and I was determined not to have that happen again." She took another sip of her drink, "I stayed long enough to tell Matt he was going to be a father and then headed to New Orleans."

Frank laughed, "I would have given anything to have seen Matt's face at that moment."

Kitty smiled as she recalled that night, "he was the most gentle that he had ever been and I didn't think it was possible that I could have loved him any more than I did…but I did."

"But Festus said he did move to New Orleans."

"Oh, that he did. He finally retired and made his home here."

"And no one knew that you and he were here?"

Kitty shook her head, "Matt had told the boys back in Dodge that he would meet them on a certain date in Denver and take them to his new mountain retreat. When he met them he brought them down to New Orleans."

Frank chuckled, "I bet they were all pretty shocked."

"They were indeed! We had a wonderful reunion and Matt and I decided to get married in a church again for the benefit of our Dodge family. It was wonderful."

"So…they all decide to stay here?"

"Well, Festus did. Matt had found out from the new Marshal that he was not going to keep Festus on as deputy so we decided that he should stay with us. Of course, Doc and Newly returned with the story that Festus loved it so much at the cabin that he decided to stay which undoubtedly everyone believed."

"But eventually everyone moved here?"

Kitty swallowed her drink as she nodded her head, "Doc did. Newly still has his gunsmith business and I think the new Marshal likes him enough that he still helps out as a deputy."

Frank thought a moment as he sipped his drink. "It would seem to me a man would be hard pressed to leave such a wonderful life especially with family and friends all around." He looked over at Kitty, "I can't for the life of me figure out why Matt would want to leave you and the children."

Kitty looked down and shook her head, "I really wish I could tell you why. I thought we were happy but I guess having the children and starting up the business and it being so successful so quick that it didn't give me much time for Matt." She looked over at Frank, "I guess it wasn't exactly what Matt had signed on for."

Frank looked straight ahead, "Matt wasn't like other men. Some of us knew there were more important things in life then being a lawman. He was just all badge." Frank shook his head, "pity." He took a sip of his drink, "so he just left?"

She nodded, "said he needed to get away for a couple of weeks and was going to see his friend Caleb."

"And he never returned?" Kitty looked down and shook her head. "Festus said something about you being in Dodge and Matt coming home?"

She nodded, "Doc had a slight heart attack and so I packed up the children and we headed to Dodge."

"You did that all alone?"

"Well, Maggie was in Biloxi and I thought it best not to tell her something like that in a telegram. Fortunately John was able to take some time off and come with us."

Frank turned with raised eyebrows, "John?"

"Dr. Chapman. He was the doctor I came to see in New Orleans."

Frank chuckled, "I've heard of doctors making house calls but helping a patient travel across country seems to me above and beyond…"

She gave him an exasperated look, "A little girl had died and Doc took it pretty hard. He decided to return to Baltimore and get updated on the latest in medicine. He asked Dr. Chapman to come to Dodge while he was away. As you very well know, Matt was always away so much that I had a lot of time to spend with Dr. Chapman and I got to know him rather well. He is a very good friend of mine."

Frank gave her an incredulous look, "I'd say!" He threw down the rest of his drink, "care for a refill?" Kitty handed him her glass and waited for his return. He handed her the glass and sat back down, "so you have this very good doctor friend…"

Kitty was annoyed by Frank's underlying insinuation, "he went back for Doc too you know. He does know a little about the heart."

Frank smiled and put up his hands, "I'm sure he does."

She turned to Frank and slapped his arm, "oh you! I don't have to tell you the rest if you care not hear it you know."

Frank chuckled, "oh, no, Kitty darlin', you're not going to stop just when this story is getting good."

She gave him a stare then took a deep breath, "while we were in Dodge Matt came home. I had written a very vague note for Maggie for when she returned. I didn't want her to know we were in Dodge because she would know something had happened to Doc. Matt had been gone for three years at that point and I guess I started to believe he was never coming home. When I returned, I found the note that I left for Maggie in our bedroom under a glass half full with whiskey. Then I found our wedding picture gone as well as the pictures of Matthew and Katie." Kitty's head dropped and she spoke in a whisper. "I later found out that Matt was somewhere outside of the house the night we returned and saw John and I on the porch. I kissed John out of gratitude and I guess Matt thought it was more than that…so he left."

Frank remained silent mulling over what he was just told. "I noticed this Dr. Chapman has not been around. Is he still a good friend?"

She took a sip of her drink, "I don't know. He's a…well…he's engaged to be married. We don't see each other anymore."

She lowered her head as Frank stared at her for a moment, "did that come as a surprise to you?" She could only muster a nod, "had you fallen in love with him?"

Kitty turned toward him with tears welling in her eyes, "I don't know Frank."

He placed his glass down on the table and placed hers next to his. He stood and took her by the hands to help her out of the rocker. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight as she sobbed into his chest. "It's going to be all right Kitty, don't cry. I'm here now…everything is going to be all right."

Running Fox emerged from the bedroom with his new son in his arms. Unlike the last time there would be no broad smile or pronouncement of a new son. He mechanically showed the boy to his father then turned back to Matt with tears in his eyes. Thinking something was wrong with the baby Matt looked the boy over thoroughly but found nothing wrong. The mid-wife entered the room and instead of her taking the baby from Running Fox's arms walked past the men and out of the cabin. Confusion was written all over Matt's face and then it dawned on him. In disbelief he ran into Little Fawn's room and there she lay perfectly still, resting like an angel. Matt fell to his knees and listened for a heartbeat but none was heard. He stroked her face which was beginning to feel cold to the touch. He could feel tears streaming down his face and as hard as he tried to prevent them from falling he couldn't. The woman who had saved his life and who he had come to love was gone. Her pain was gone now but her family's only beginning. It was then that he thought about Kitty and he saw all too clearly how ridiculous it was for him ever to have left New Orleans. He wanted to be there to hold her, to love her, and live out the rest of his days in her arms. If it really was Festus who came searching for him then Kitty wanted him, needed him, and he realized now how hasty he was in boarding that train out of town. He didn't need to go home for Little Fawn any longer he needed to go home for himself, for his wife, and for his children. Keeping the promise he made to Little Fawn would be easy now but he would also be doing it in her memory. "Sleep well my good friend. Maybe we'll meet again one day." He leaned forward to kiss her forehead, wiped away his tears, took a deep breath, and exited the room.

Matt had sectioned off a piece of land fifty yards from the cabin. He roped the gravesite with rocks and dug the grave to the Indian's specifications. It was a cold, gray day when they buried Little Fawn. Running Fox hadn't said much since his second son was born and Matt felt weighed down by a crushing guilt. He leaned his massive back against the hearth and closed his eyes as all the times that Kitty almost died ran through his mind. He was not a very religious man but in every instance he begged and pleaded with the good Lord to save her life. If it was necessary he would have sold his soul to the devil if it meant Kitty would live to see another day and yet here he was. Apart from her for so many years, no contact, not even sure if she were still alive. He had carelessly discarded the only reason that made his life worth living but that was going to change. He opened his eyes and sat upright then looked over at Running Fox. He was going to have to tell him soon that he needed to go home but first he would make sure that the Indian would have everything he needed to survive.

They sat silently over dinner a few days later. Matt eyed his friend as he tried to find the right words to soften the blow of his leaving. He took a deep breath, "Running Fox, I need to speak with you about something."

He looked up from his meal and nodded, "you need to speak," he gestured with his hand, "then speak."

Matt cleared his throat, "when Little Fawn was in labor I made her a promise…that I would go home and be with my family." Matt stared at the blank expression on the Indian's face. "I know this is not something you want to speak of so soon after your loss but Little Fawn's death has made me realize how much my family means to me."

Running Fox nodded, "she told me Dillon."

Matt looked puzzled, "what?"

"My wife and I have many talks about you. She know you need to go home, I not sure. I think she know she very sick. She made me promise to send you home."

Matt shook his head, "she was a remarkable woman and I have been so honored to have known her."

"She love you Dillon like brother. I know your heart is heavy too."

Matt nodded, "yes, it is."

"You go home, be with family. I can find way for my family."

Matt looked around the cabin, "I'd like to help you get ready for winter before I go."

Running Fox nodded, "good, we go to Trading Post tomorrow and one last hunt. Then you must go."

Matt reached across the table to shake the Indian's hand. "I will do that for you my friend." They continued to eat in silence.

The Trading Post was owned by Jake Coulter, a tall, burly man who was a former trapper. He had lived among the Indians as a young man so he was very comfortable in his environment. He had a daughter who he raised alone since the death of her Indian mother. Bright Moon was a beautiful woman in her twenties, long black hair, smooth tanned skin, who worked alongside her father. She noticed Running Fox enter the store and solemnly approached. She took his arm, "I am so sorry Running Fox. Little Fawn was my friend, I will miss her." He just nodded and went about his winter shopping. Matt watched the exchange from the corner of the room. One day Running Fox would be looking for someone to share his life again and Bright Moon seemed a very good fit to Matt. It was then that he noticed Bright Moon's smiling face staring at him as she walked toward him, "can I help you with anything today Dillon?"

Matt shook his head, "no, ma'am. I'm here to help Running Fox."

She shook her head, "terrible thing that happened." Matt nodded his head in agreement. "now he with two small boys."

As he watched his friend walk around the store a thought occurred to him. He turned to Bright Moon, "do you know anyone who could help him with the boys?"

She looked puzzled, "why…where you go?"

"I have a place I need to be."

Bright Moon tried not to show her disappointment, "but you will be back?"

Matt shook his head, "no, I'm afraid not."

"But I thought this was your home."

Matt nodded, "and it was a good home for a very long while." He shook his head, "Little Fawn and Running Fox saved my life and were good enough to give me a place to stay until I got well but I need to leave now." He looked over at Running Fox then back to Bright Moon, "say…would you be able to check in on Running Fox every now and again just to make sure everything is all right?"

She made a face, "winter coming Dillon. Don't travel much in winter."

Matt nodded, "I realize that but maybe when the spring comes you could just check in on them just to make sure."

She shrugged, "I feel funny going there if Running Fox does not ask me."

He stared straight ahead, "I understand." Matt waved his hand, "it was a crazy idea anyway. It's just that I would feel better if I knew someone was there to help him."

She gestured around the store, "I'm pretty busy here but I will try and see if I can find someone if only to put your mind at ease."

Matt smiled, "that would be just fine Bright Moon."

She reached out and ran her hand down his chest, "I do this for you Dillon." She rested her hand on his waist, "I must go now. Have a good trip to place you need to be."

Matt watched her walk away as Running Fox came and stood next to him. "I ready Dillon, we go home." Matt turned back to see Bright Moon still smiling at him. He shook his head as he closed the Trading Post door.

"Good morning Kitty."

She looked surprised, "what are you doing up so early Frank?"

"I promised I would take your son fishing this morning. Coffee ready?" She picked the pot up and poured him a cup. Before she could say a word Matthew raced down the back staircase, "I'm ready Uncle Frank."

"Matthew, now, your Uncle Frank needs to finish his cup of coffee and besides I haven't packed anything for you two to eat today."

Frank turned to Matthew, "I think it will be well worth the wait, don't you Matthew?" Frank winked and Matthew nodded as he made his way over to the oversized chair.

With basket in hand Frank and Matthew walked down the path to the street as Kitty stood waving from the porch. When they stepped out onto the walkway Matthew raised his little hand for Frank to hold. Frank smiled and took the boy's hand in his and they made their way to the lake. Frank would occasionally look down at Matthew and smile at the determination on the boy's face. He was so much like Matt in that way, so focused. As they walked along he thought about Maria and their unborn son and what the outlaws took from him that winter's day. He shook his head wondering if Matt was even aware of how precious fishing days with your son are and how much he has missed. They sat on the bank, lines in the water, staring at the current. "Looks like you've done this before Matthew."

Matthew nodded, "yes sir, my Pop Pop takes me here all the time."

Frank smiled, "your Pop Pop is a good man. I've known him for a long time."

Matthew thought a moment, "Uncle Frank, do you know my Daddy too?"

Frank nodded, "you bet I do Matthew. Your Daddy is the best friend I got."

Matthew turned to him wide eyed, "were you a lawman too?"

Frank smiled, "yes I was."

"Did you chase bad men?"

Frank chuckled, "not as well as your father but I caught my share."

Matthew looked down for a moment, "do you have a little boy like me?"

Frank took a deep breath, "no Matthew, I wasn't lucky enough to have a good little boy like you."

"Where do you live?"

"Far away in a place called Montana."

Matthew looked up at Frank, "do you have to go back?"

Frank scratched his head, "well, I suppose I will…eventually." Matthew hung his head and Frank's heart broke. He reached over and put his arms around his shoulders. "But that's a little time off yet." He kissed the top of his head.

Matthew leaned into Frank's side, "I just thought you might like to have a little boy like me."

Frank raised the boy's head with his fingertips, "Matthew, as much as I would love to call you my son you already have a daddy and once the winter clears up north I'm going to find him and bring him home." He wiped away two little tears that found their way down Matthew's face. "Now…I think you'd much rather have your Daddy back, wouldn't you?"

Matthew's face brightened, "do you think you can Uncle Frank? Do you really think you can find my Daddy?"

"Matthew I'm never going to give up until I do so between your Uncle Festus and me I think one of us is bound to find him."

Matthew hugged Frank tight, "thanks Uncle Frank."

Frank stroked the boy's hair and took a deep breath. He hadn't had any luck yet finding Matt but he had a renewed purpose now. He just couldn't break the heart of this hopeful little boy any more than it already was.

They had just bagged their first antelope and Matt helped Running Fox secure the animal to the Indian's horse. "I think I saw another one running over that ridge. I'm going to go after him unless you need help getting this one home."

Running Fox shook his head, "I be fine Dillon…you go." Matt mounted his horse and galloped away. The Indian watched his friend go over the ridge and made one last check that the animal was secure. It was then he heard the hammer of a gun click as if it was ready to fire. "Ease that there animal off that horse Injun…nice and slow like."

"This meat is for family."

"Ah…ya breakin' my heart red man. Ya really think I care whether you or your family live?" The intruder just shook his head, "best redskin is a dead redskin in my book. Now get that damn animal off your horse!"

Running Fox slowly untied the antelope, "now I want ya to haul it over to my horse and tie it up nice and tight and be snappy about it."

Running Fox hoisted the animal into his arms and slowly made his way to the other horse. In a blink of an eye he flung the animal at the man with the gun. Matt pulled up on the reins of his horse when he thought he heard a gunshot in the distance. He quickly pulled his horse to the right and made his way toward the sound. When he finally came over the ridge he saw Running Fox lying on the ground. He spurred his horse as fast as he could go and ran to his friend's side. He picked him up into his arms. "Running Fox…what happened?"

"Man came to steal meat. I throw at him but gun go off, hit me."

"Let me see." He looked at the wound, "I just need to get you back to the cabin and I'll take the bullet out."

The Indian coughed a few times, "it no use Dillon. I not get well."

Matt shook his head, "Running Fox this is not that serious. Once we get to the cabin, you'll be all right. You are not going to die."

He put his arm up on Matt's, "this is not your decision Dillon. Greater power then you or me make that choice."

Matt tried again to help him up, "leave me Dillon. It is fine." His coughing was steadily increasing. "boys are alone now…need father."

"Running Fox you know I can't be their father."

"No one else I trust, Dillon. Promise me you stay."

He still tried to get Running Fox to his feet, "please Running Fox…please make an effort to get to the cabin I know I can take care of the wound. I will take care of them while you get well but then you will be their father."

The Indian shook his head, "no time Dillon, promise me. I be at peace if know you stay with boys."

Matt shook his head, "I can't do this Running Fox. I need to be with my son…my daughter." The Indian's head fell to the side. Matt lightly shook his friend, "Running Fox…Running Fox." He laid his ear against the Indian's chest and then laid his body down on the earth. He stood for a moment looking at the lifeless body of his friend and took a deep breath. He turned and walked to his horse, leaned his long body against the saddle, and cried.

It was a beautiful, sunny, unseasonably warm day for the first week of October when they laid Running Fox in a grave next to his wife. There wasn't a cloud in the sky for as far as the eye could see. Matt smiled as he thought the Indians would probably say that this meant the lovers had been reunited again and they were sharing their happiness with family and their friend. He walked with the baby in his arms and Brave Bear walked with the older boy. As they came around to the front of the cabin Matt noticed a rider hurrying up the trail. As the rider came closer he realized that it was Bright Moon. She pulled up her horse abruptly and jumped off the animal. "Dillon I just heard what happened. What are you going to do?"

He handed her the baby, "right now I need to settle a score. Stay with the boys."

"But Dillon I have to get back I…"

Matt walked toward his horse as she followed close behind. "Then what did you come here for if it wasn't to help?"

Everything was happening so fast and certainly not as she had planned, "I wanted to help you."

Matt grabbed the reins of his horse, "you are helping me…stay with the boys." He swung his long leg over the saddle and in one kick sped away.

Night was beginning to fall so Matt decided he'd best set camp for the evening. As much as he wanted to continue and find the man responsible for Running Fox's death he didn't want to be ambushed roaming the woods at night. Bright Moon had saved him time by staying with the boys so he was just that much closer to finding the Indian's murderer. He settled back against his saddle eating from a can of beans. His mind wandered filled with memories of his days in New Orleans. He closed his eyes for a moment as he visualized Kitty walking toward him, putting her arms around his waist, and kissing him tenderly. What he wouldn't give to be lying next to her again but as he slowly opened his eyes all he had was a can full of beans and a feeling of emptiness inside. He finished the contents of the can, sipped a cup of coffee, and slid down his saddle to get some rest. As he drifted off to sleep he knew that the first order of business was to find the man responsible for his friend's death then he would have to deal with who was going to raise the two Indian boys.

Matt had been traveling for a couple of days. As much as he did not want to admit defeat he was beginning to think that he was never going to find the man who killed his friend. He dismounted to stretch his legs and take a drink of water when he thought he heard a sound in the distance. He tethered his horse to a tree limb and listened. He thought he heard a harmonica softly playing about a hundred yards away. He continued on foot following the freshly made trail. Walking slow and ever so quiet he came upon the camp of a lone man. It didn't surprise him when he caught a glimpse of the man's face. Matt threw a rock to the man's left and he stopped playing the instrument for a moment to see if he heard right. Matt threw another rock and the man jumped to his feet gun drawn. "Who's there?" After awhile he was satisfied that it was probably an animal scurrying through the woods and holstered his gun. He shook his head and mumbled to himself, "sometimes being alone so much causes a man to get a little jumpy…that's all there is."

"Or maybe he just has a guilty conscience," Matt stepped out from the brush.

He stared wide eyed at Matt, "wait a minute now, I killed you."

"Came damn close I'll give you that much." Matt shook his head, "I should have known it was you Dakota."

Jase Dakota looked him up and down, "nothin' you can do about it now. Don't look like yer a lawman anymore." He started to chuckle, "in fact, looks to me like yer might be a squaw man now." Jase shook his head, "I'll never understand you Dillon. Givin' up that fine redheaded whore for some piece of Injun trash?" Matt remained poker faced. "Is there a reason ya stopped by today Dillon?" Matt still didn't answer. He pointed toward the pan on the fire, "care for some antelope…caught it myself just the other day."

"I'm going to kill you Dakota. Something I should have done years ago."

"Ah…but that was way back when you were sworn to uphold the law and bring the prisoner to justice not take justice in ya own hands. Seems to me livin' with them Injuns has brought the savage out in you Dillon. Come on now, why don't we just sit down, have a meal, and talk like two civilized men."

Matt eyed Jase with a deadly stare, "because there's nothing civil about you Dakota."

Jase smiled and he shook his head, "Now…is that any way to talk?" He kept shaking his head, "Dillon do you really believe I like killin'? Well, I don't. Just gotta' do it sometime to survive."

"You killed a good man yesterday."

"Dillon, how many times do I have to tell ya that an Injun ain't no man? It's gonna' be a sorry thing if ya lose ya life defendin' one of them." Jase could see he wasn't dissuading Matt. "I guess I can see yer point though. The only thing ya have to go home to is a squaw. Not much of a life is it Dillon not when ya were a big shot lawman beddin' down a high priced whore. I can see where ya might not care if ya live or die."

"Who says I'm the one who's gonna' die?"

Jase let out with a loud laugh, "ya got to be kiddin' me Dillon, look at ya. When was the last time you even drew a gun." He shook his head, "face it Dillon ya too old and ya lost ya nerve, that's why yer up here...ain't it? Ya scared I can see it in yer eyes." Jase's fingers were beginning to twitch, "I hope ya gave it to ya Injun good the other night cause she's the last woman…" A shot rang out and Jase's eyes got wide. He clutched at his chest as another bullet pierced his abdomen. He quickly fell to the ground and Matt slowly walked over to his body. Jase was grinning as he talked through the pain, "I seen ya redheaded whore in Dodge…right after I thought I'd killed ya Dillon. She was lookin' real fine. Woulda' taken her fer myself but…by the looks of things…she already had someone who was givin' it to her real good." Jase coughed as he tried to laugh, "I'll never understand ya Dillon…givin' up that fine redheaded whore." His head dropped to the side. Matt stood for a moment looking down at the outlaw wanting to unload the rest of his pistol into the man's flesh instead he bent down and took Jase's gun out of the holster. "I should leave you for the buzzard's you worthless…" Matt took a deep breath then went about making a grave.

Matt took his time returning to the cabin with his head spinning with many thoughts. _So it was Dakota who tried to kill me...it figures now. So…Kitty was in Dodge? That must have been where she was with John but why was she in Dodge? Did something happen to Doc or Newly? Was there a problem with the Long Branch? She needed John for a decoy that's why he was there. She needed to protect the children. What a fool I was to believe she was in love with John._ The closer he came to the cabin the more he wanted to head straight home and reclaim his family. Only problem was...what to do with the boys?


	32. A Hidden Emotion Can Be Dangerous

"Frank can you hand me that other strand of beads?"

He grabbed the long strand of orange beads and held it out for Kitty, "I swear…I've never seen someone go to all this trouble for such an insignificant holiday."

Kitty strung the beads across the archway and made her way down the small step ladder, "not so insignificant when you have children." Frank held her hand as she walked down the steps, "thank you."

He nodded, "I see your point. They're mighty fine children Kitty, you've done a real good job with them."

Kitty smiled, "thank you Frank, care for some coffee?"

He nodded, "sounds good."

They walked into the kitchen and Kitty reached inside the cupboard and then poured the hot liquid into the cup. She handed it to Frank, "it's such a nice day. Feel like sitting on the porch?" Frank motioned for Kitty to lead the way. Once they sat in the rockers Kitty let out with a deep sigh. "It feels good to sit down."

"Do you decorate like this every holiday?"

She nodded, "some more than others but I always had help before, now Maggie has her own home to decorate."

Frank began to chuckle, "Doc married…I still can't believe it."

Kitty nodded, "I've never seen Doc take a shine to any woman like he did to Maggie but I'm thrilled he did. She's a wonderful lady and I have to admit, I miss her around the house."

Frank took a sip of coffee, "I'm sure the children keep you busy."

"Oh…I'm plenty busy Frank but I miss having someone to talk to in the evenings."

Frank stared straight ahead, "I'm really sorry about Matt, Kitty. I just can't for the life of me figure why he'd want to leave. He had everything a man could ever want in life." He took a sip of coffee, "having my wife and child taken away from me…" Frank tried to control his anger, "what kind of a damn blame fool is he anyway? Doesn't he know how lucky he is?"

Kitty looked down, "you know Matt, Frank. He always had to do things his way."

Frank looked over at Kitty, "doesn't mean he was ever right!" Seeing that she was becoming upset he reached over and held her hand. "It's going to be all right Kitty, we'll find him."

"Finding him isn't what's worrying me Frank."

Frank looked puzzled, "then what is?"

Kitty looked straight ahead, "I'm afraid he won't want to come back."

Frank turned his chair toward Kitty and held both her hands, "you get that idea out of your head right now…you hear me?" He stared into her eyes, "I'm probably one of the few people in this world who really knows how much Matt loves you and I know that is never going to change." He stared at her hands for a moment, "I'm not sure why Matt left but I am sure of the love he still carries around in his heart for you. He just needs to be straightened out is all."

Tears were welling in her eyes, "do you really believe that Frank?"

"Kitty, you know that Matt is not a man who opens up easily to people and you also know that Matt and I are very close. Believe me, when I tell you, that he loves you more than life itself." He kissed her hands, "please don't ever doubt that Kitty because I certainly don't."

She smiled, "deep inside I know that too Frank but the longer he is away I start to think…"

He smiled, "well, I want you to stop thinking and just remember the love you two shared for so many years and the children that love produced. You concentrate on that and I'm sure there will no longer be room for doubt."

She cupped his face with her hand, "I'm so glad you decided to come for a visit."

Frank chuckled, "I hope I don't wear out my welcome."

She smiled, "you could never do that Frank. Stay as long as you like." He turned his chair around, stared straight ahead, and smiled.

Matt kept his horse at a slow pace all the way back to the cabin. He had thought about heading straight for Denver many times but he couldn't leave Bright Moon responsible for the boys. He stopped his horse when he noticed the cabin in the distance. He still didn't know what he was going to do. He needed to go home, to be a father to his children, and to spend every night reaffirming his love to Kitty. That was all he knew and all he wanted to do. Wasting any more time out here in the wilderness would be wrong, even his two Indian friends knew that. A cold gust of wind caused him to hold the collar of his coat up against his neck. It would probably be foolish trying to find a place for the boys to stay in this cold. He took a deep breath and decided that once winter was over he would be on his way. The first sign of spring he would find a family in the neighboring village to take care of the boys and then he would be free to head for Denver.

Dusk was settling in when Matt arrived at the cabin. Bright Moon ran from the wooden structure as Matt dismounted. He turned as she grabbed him around the waist and held him close, "Dillon, I was so worried about you."

He took her arms from around him, "I thank you for your concern…now…how are the boys?"

He took the bedroll off his horse and threw it up on the porch as he led his horse around to the back. Bright Moon followed, "they are fine but you look tired."

Matt unfastened the saddle, "I appreciate you staying with the boys Bright Moon. It saved me time."

"Did you find man?"

Matt nodded, "I found him."

She was not so naïve that she didn't know what that meant, "I'm glad you're all right."

"So am I." He put the saddle in the shed then looked up at the sky. "It wouldn't be wise for you to head back now."

"I have no problem staying Dillon…for as long as you like."

Matt looked perplexed, "I thought you said you were pretty busy at the Post."

She waved her hand, "it slow down now in winter."

"Oh?"

She moved toward him and put her hands on his chest, "I be here for you Dillon."

Matt shook his head, "it's not that I'm not appreciative but I can handle things on my own. Once first light comes you can go back home." Matt made his way back to the front of the cabin as Bright Moon watched him walk away. He was a very different man from the ones she had known. Most men, especially older ones, would find it flattering if a young woman was interested in them…but not Dillon. He made it even more of a challenge but there was no doubt in her mind that one day he would succumb to her young body like all men did. It would just take more time but then Dillon would her hers…forever.

Matt and Brave Bear sat silently finishing up their meal as Bright Moon settled in to eat. She looked over at Matt, "how is food Dillon?"

He nodded, "very good."

She smiled, "I'm glad." The infant began to cry and Matt stood to attend to him when Bright Moon rose, "I get him Dillon…you sit."

"But…"

"Sit…I get him." Matt finished his meal and had started washing the dishes when Bright Moon returned. "He going to sleep Dillon just needed someone to hold him."

Matt nodded, "here, let me heat that up for you."

Bright Moon shook her head, "no need, I do."

Matt continued to clean the plates, "where were you sleeping while I was away?"

She looked up at Matt, "in room with boys."

"Well…I'll take that room now. You can have my room."

"Dillon, I don't mind taking care of boys. You have been on horse for days now. You need rest."

He shook his head, "Bright Moon I appreciate what you're trying to say but these boys are not your responsibility…they're mine…for now. I'll take care of them."

She shrugged, "OK, Dillon," She took a mouthful of food as Matt just shook his head.

After dinner Matt sat in front of the fire. He tried to keep his eyes open but the past week had taken a toll and he gave into exhaustion. Bright Moon was getting ready for bed when she noticed that Matt was dozing in the chair so she went over and gently shook him awake. "Dillon, why don't you go to room and get some sleep?"

Matt stretched, "that's a good idea." He made his way into his room and turned on the lantern. "I'll just grab my things and I'll be out of your way in a minute."

"Not in hurry."

Matt stuffed the pictures and loose clothes into his carpet bag and when he turned to leave a very naked Bright Moon stood before him. His eyes gazed on her taut, young body and he was brought back to the first time Kitty and he made love. He smiled as he recalled the memory that had stayed with him all these years. Bright Moon noted that Matt eyes never left her body and her skin tingled in anticipation of his making love to her. She couldn't wait any longer for him to make the first move so she moved toward him as she softly whispered, "I can help you relax Dillon."

Bright Moon's voice stirred Matt from his trance as she continued to move toward him. She touched his chest, "we can stay here tonight…you do not have to go." Matt tried desperately to ease his way out of the room. Bright Moon was confused by his behavior, "you not think I'm pretty?"

Matt tried to clear his throat as he kept moving toward the door, "no…now…you're very pretty…but…um…well…I'm old enough to be your father."

She smiled, "I will make you feel young again."

He continued to walk out backwards as she mirrored his every step, "well…now…you look like a very capable young woman." His hand reached for the door knob, "and some day some young man will come along and fall in love with you and..." He finally was able to maneuver out of the room, "and for heaven's sake put some clothes on!" Matt slammed the door and took a deep breath before he walked across the hall to the other room. He closed the door and took a moment to compose himself. He lit the lantern in the room and arranged the pictures next to his head. He stripped to his long johns and got under the blanket and held the pictures close. He fell asleep knowing that it would only be another few months and then he could hug them for real.

Bright Moon stared at the closed door for a moment unsure of what had just taken place. She looked over at her dress crumbled on the floor and decided she would sleep without it tonight. She slipped under the covers still not convinced that this was the last she would see of Dillon tonight. He was a man and men could never resist bedding a woman whenever they got the chance, at least, that was her experience up until now. He was probably checking in on the boys and once satisfied they would be quiet for awhile he would come crawling into her bed and love her. Love…it was the one thing that had eluded her so far in life. The men who came through the Post weren't looking for a wife they just wanted a warm body to satisfy their male needs and then they would return to their solitary lives. It was getting increasingly difficult to find a good man out of the group of lonely losers that made the trip in for supplies. These men repulsed her with their foul smelling breath and their slobbering tongues, not one who knew the first thing about satisfying a woman…but Dillon was different. From the first moment she saw him she could tell he was a good man and one who could make a woman feel real fine. She just needed the opportunity to prove to him that she could be a good wife and mother for the rest of their lives. As her mind raced she listened intently for footsteps…but none came. She lay staring at the ceiling for quite awhile before the tears crept down the side of her face and she softly sobbed.

Matt was up early with the infant boy when he thought he heard a horse galloping away. He quickly looked out the window to see Bright Moon ahead of a trail of dust. He took a deep breath relieved that she was gone. Thankfully the winter was here and hopefully he would never have to see her again. Dreaming of Kitty every night was hard enough without having a beautiful, young woman throwing her naked body at him. He smiled when he thought about Kitty's naked body and how it would be so good to touch it again…and that the day was coming soon.

The children were snug in their beds as Frank and Kitty went to the rockers out on the veranda with drinks in hand. "So…how did you enjoy treat or treating today Frank?"

Frank scrunched up his nose, "and how did I get roped into that again?"

Kitty laughed. "My children can be very persuasive."

Frank nodded and chuckled, "I know…just like their mother."

She swatted his arm, "oh…tell me you didn't have a great time today."

Frank leaned back in the rocker and sighed, "I really did have the time of my life."

"Wait…Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's are still to come…that's if you're intending to stay that long."

Frank nodded, "I was thinking about staying until spring. Then I'm going to go searching for Matt again." He reached over and held her hand, "I'm going to find him this time Kitty, I promise."

Kitty smiled, "I appreciate that Frank, I really do."

Frank thought a moment, "Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's…huh?" He chuckled, "I hope I live through it!"

Kitty moved closer and whispered, "I'll ask the children to take it easy on you."

Frank smiled, "don't you dare!"

Kitty laughed. "This year is going to be the best holiday season we've had in a long time."

Frank smiled and kissed her hand, "you're welcome, Kitty."

It had been a few days since Bright Moon had left. Matt was surprised how easily he was able to handle the two boys and he had taken great pride in that fact. Life in the cabin was running along very smoothly until he heard a horse approaching. He went out onto the porch and saw Bright Moon coming closer. She dismounted and walked toward the cabin as Matt came down the steps and met her halfway. "Good news Dillon, father does not need me and wants me to stay and help with boys." She was beaming, "I can stay here all winter."

Matt took a deep breath, "I can handle the boys' just fine over the winter. Now I would feel better if you would go back home to the Post."

Matt could see the devastation in her eyes, "you do not need me?"

He shook his head, "no, I don't."

"But you need woman…all men need woman."

"I have a woman Bright Moon that I love very much."

She looked puzzled, "I never see woman, never hear about woman, you not saying this just so I go."

Matt shook his head, "no, my wife is many miles away."

"I don't understand. You say you love wife very much but you have lived here for many years and not with wife."

Matt took a deep breath, "I don't expect you to understand all of this," Matt moved toward her to help her back on her horse. "Here…let me help you."

She pulled away from him, "I not go home…can't go home…will lose face if I go home now. Told father I be with you…it will shame me if you send me back home to him."

Matt walked around for a moment running his fingers through his hair, "all right…but there won't be any undressing in front of me or romantic notions…you understand? We are just here to take care of the boys for our friends…agreed?"

Bright Moon nodded, "we be friends Dillon?" She extended her hand and he shook it.

Matt grabbed the reins of her horse to bring him around back, "I'll take care of him and meet you inside." She smiled as she watched him walk away. It was going to be a long, cold winter and anything could happen between now and spring.

Frank stepped back and stared at the tree. His eyes scanned the branches hoping he could find one vacant spot for the ornament he was holding in his hand. He smiled when he hung the ball inscribed with his name. Kitty had come into the room as Frank happily deposited the glass adornment on the pine needles. "It looks pretty good up there."

Frank turned and smiled, "Well…thank you Kitty. You have really made me feel very much at home here."

She put her hand on his shoulder, "I have always thought of you as family Frank."

He stared at her for a moment, "well, I feel like it, I'll tell you that much."

"I'm glad." She pointed to the corner of the room, "I just brought in a few gifts I'm going to need you to help me with. The children will be up very early this morning so it might be a long night…you up for it?"

"Just show me what needs to be done. I always wanted to play Santa." Kitty smiled as they worked their way through the children's gifts and placed them under the tree.

Opened gifts were strewn under the tree as the children were off playing with their latest toys. Frank and Kitty sat on the sofa relaxing over a before dinner drink. Kitty sighed. "This was a very successful Christmas Frank and I owe it all to you." She rose her glass in a toast.

He touched her glass with his, "you're very welcome." He took a sip of his drink, "they loved everything…didn't they."

"I just think they loved the fact that you stayed around for the holidays."

Frank smiled, "you really think that made a difference?"

"Oh…I do. This is the first Christmas in a long time that I've seen them this happy."

Frank thought a moment, "and what about the lady of the house?"

Kitty looked puzzled, "what about me?"

"Did my staying for the holidays make you as happy?"

Before Kitty could answer Doc and Maggie walked through the front door. Doc called out, "Merry Christmas everyone."

Frank stood and shook Doc's hand and kissed Maggie on the cheek as Kitty smiled. She didn't have time to answer his question but there was no doubt in her mind that she had been very happy the past couple of months. She walked toward Doc and Maggie and gave them a kiss. "Say Kitty, have you heard from Festus?"

"As a matter of fact I did. He has decided to winter in Dodge this year…oh, and he says Merry Christmas to everyone."

Doc shook his head, "still no word on Matt?"

Kitty shook her head, "no Doc not a word but I'm not going to let that fact ruin the holiday for any of us. Festus will find him one of these days," she looked over at Frank and put her hand on his shoulder, "or Frank…so let me get you a drink and then we'll have dinner."

They watched her walk into the other room, "she certainly seems to have a whole other attitude about Matt now." Doc turned to Frank, "I guess you're responsible."

He shrugged, "whatever I can do to keep that pretty lady from feeling sad Doc I'm going to do. Matt would want me to, I know that."

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "well…whatever you're doing, keep doing it."

Frank smiled, "I plan to Doc."

After dinner Doc and Frank regaled Maggie with stories of past days while Kitty went about her evening ritual of tucking in the children for the night. She came down the stairs as Doc and Maggie stood to go home.

"You know something Curly if I wasn't so secure in our friendship I could easily take offense to your leaving."

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "well…Frank is not nearly as entertaining when you're around…so… before I hurt your feelings I figured we'd go home."

"Oh you did, did you?" Kitty smiled and moved toward Doc to give him a kiss. "Good night Doc and Merry Christmas." She turned to Maggie, kissed her, and wished her the same.

After Frank said his goodbyes, Kitty and he stood at the front door and then retreated to the living room for a nightcap. As Kitty went to pour them a couple of drinks Frank sat in the corner of the sofa and took a deep breath. He was beginning to feel very comfortable here and the thought of leaving sadden him. Kitty noticed his face as she came back into the room. "Here we are." She handed him the glass and sat down next to him.

Frank stared at the tree, "so you go through this every year…huh?"

Kitty smiled, "well…I really do it for the children."

Frank looked at her in disbelief, "something tells me that even if you didn't have children you would still have a big celebration."

Kitty chuckled, "I suppose so. I do love the festive nature of the holidays."

Frank took a sip of his drink, "you certainly know how to decorate. It gives a person a very warm feeling inside just to be in this room."

She smiled, "thank you for saying so Frank." She looked around, "I don't know if Matt ever really appreciated the holidays."

"Then he was a fool not to." He took another sip of his drink, "I can't see any man not wanting to be here watching his children opening their gifts and sharing it with his beautiful wife."

She smiled, "you always knew how to make a woman feel pretty special Frank."

He reached out for her hand, "as long as I make you feel special that's all I really care about."

She quickly stood, "well now, I think we had a very long day and if you don't mind I think I'm going to turn in."

Frank put his glass on the table and stood. He looked into her eyes, "sweet dreams."

She quickly turned and he watched her walk away. As he bent to retrieve his glass Kitty turned back toward him. "I am Frank." He looked up puzzled, "happy that you stayed."

He smiled back at her, "good night Kitty."

"Good night Frank."

The only sound heard in the cabin was the whistle of the blowing wind. Matt sat near the hearth and stared at the roaring fire deep in thought. By his nearest calculations he surmised that it could be Christmas or maybe it was New Year's he really wasn't sure. His eyes followed the flickering of the flames while his mind was a million miles away. Bright Moon watched him for awhile in deep thought wondering if now he might be reconsidering his stance. As she had promised, she kept her distance as they raised the two boys and whether it was her imagination or just foolish hope he seemed to be happier that she was around now. Out of sheer impulse, she quietly walked over to him, bent down, and kissed his cheek. "Happy New Year…Dillon."

Startled he looked up to see her smiling face. He looked puzzled, "how do you know that it's New Year's."

"I know date I left Post so I just count days."

Matt smiled, "then Happy New Year to you too Bright Moon."

"I go to bed now…unless you need something?"

Matt looked her up and down then shook his head, "no, there's nothing I need."

She smiled, "good night then Dillon."

He returned the smile, "good night Bright Moon." She turned on her heels and walked toward the back rooms. Before she went through the threshold she turned back to look at Matt. He had returned to staring at the fire and she smiled. He was definitely looking at her differently now and it would only be a matter of time before he would want her for his own.

Regina was putting on the finishing touches to her makeup when John entered the room. She loved this time of year hobnobbing with the many influential people that John knew in this town. She called out to him, "John, can you help me with my necklace?"

John kissed the back of her neck and then fastened the clasp. He smiled as he looked in the mirror at her. "You are ravishingly beautiful tonight." He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the side of her neck.

She smiled, "you can ravish me all you want later but right now we're late for the Taylor's party." He straightened up and adjusted his tie. "There is one thing I would like to discuss with you though before we leave."

John looked confused, "Oh? What's that?"

She watched John's face in the mirror, "I would like to set a wedding date."

A look of puzzlement came across his face, "right before we're to leave for a party? Can't we discuss this later?" She made a face as he pulled her to him, "could it wait until I'm ravishing you later this evening?"

She pushed him away, "John, I'm serious now."

He became annoyed, "so am I Reggie. Why is it so important to set the date in five minutes?"

"Because I know it will be brought up at the party and I want to be able to tell them something."

John made a face, "I doubt the date of our wedding is going to come up at a neighborhood New Year's Eve party."

She folded her arms in front of her, "well…I think it will." She stared at him, "John, I swear sometimes I think you don't want to get married."

He stared at her for a moment and then let out a deep breath, "what date were you thinking of?"

She smiled as she cupped his face with her hands, "I've always wanted to be a June bride."

He kissed her, "then pick a date."

She pouted. "Some bridegroom you are letting the bride pick the date herself."

John was becoming frustrated, "what do you want from me Reggie?"

"I want you to be just as excited about our marriage as I am."

He pulled her closer, "I can hardly wait until you become Mrs. John Chapman."

She smiled then kissed him, "so June twenty-fourth wouldn't be out of the question?"

"If that's the day you have your heart set on…then that's the day it is."

She smiled, "I love you John."

He nodded, "it's going to be a grand day." He kissed her and then took her hand as they made their way to the Taylor's.

With the holidays gone, the twin's birthday a recent memory, and the spring rapidly approaching, Frank was dreading the day he would have to leave. There were so many things he still wanted to do with Kitty and the children but time seem to be running out. They had discussed going on a picnic for weeks now so Frank decided the second day of April would be the perfect day. The sky was a bright azure as a balmy breeze blew in off the lake and the park in front of the Cathedral was teaming with people. As the children played it gave Frank and Kitty the opportunity to sit on the blanket and talk. He inhaled the spring air, "I'm really going to miss this Kitty."

She turned and smiled, "when were you thinking about leaving?"

He looked up at the sky, "probably should be going soon although…it's not going to be easy."

Kitty looked over at her children, "I just hope it won't be hard on them."

Frank looked back over his shoulder, "I think knowing that I'm going to find their father will soften the blow some."

Kitty exhaled, "do you really think you can find him Frank?"

He looked down then stared at her, "I promised Matthew I would so I'm not going to rest until I do."

They stared at each other for awhile but their gaze was interrupted by Kitty's oldest child. "Uncle Frank, can you play ball with me?"

"Matthew, now, your Uncle Frank is resting. You have your sister and brothers to play with."

Matthew was frustrated, "Mommy they can't play. Katie plays like a girl and my brothers are babies."

Kitty was becoming annoyed, "Matthew…"

Frank raised his hand, "I'll be over in a little while buddy…OK?"

"OK, Uncle Frank," he ran off kicking the ball as he went.

Kitty shook her head, "I swear that child…"

Frank reached over and took Kitty's hand, "he's just being a boy Kitty, let him be."

John had surprised Regina at the office carrying a picnic basket and a perfect way to spend a beautiful spring afternoon. As they entered the park, Regina noticed Kitty and Frank on the blanket holding hands. She couldn't resist pointing the scene out to John, "well, now, it seems Kitty has found a new beau."

John turned, "it seems she has." He was hoping his nonchalant attitude would keep Regina moving away from them but it didn't work.

"John, let's go over and say hello." She tugged at his arm and he followed along.

Regina spoke first, "well, Kitty, it looks like we both had the same idea."

Kitty turned, "John, Mrs. Lawrence. I'd like you to meet a very dear friend of mine and Matt's, Frank Reardon."

Frank stood and extended his hand to John, "please to meet you John," he then took Regina's hand, "Mrs. Lawrence."

"Oh, please call me Regina." She waved her hand, "Kitty always likes to keep things so formal."

Frank looked back at Kitty then back at Regina, "Regina."

"So Frank how long are you going to stay in our fair city?"

"Haven't really made up my mind yet. I've enjoyed what I've seen so far."

Regina looked down at Kitty and smiled, "oh, I'm sure you have."

John grabbed Regina around the waist, "I have to get back soon dear so the sooner we can find a spot to have lunch the more time we'll have to enjoy it."

She cupped John's face with her hand, "he is just such a loving, attentive man...isn't he? Is there any doubt why I love him so?" She kissed him and Kitty swore she saw a crimson color rush to John's face. "Oh, did you hear Kitty? John and I have set the date…it's June twenty-fourth. Won't be long now and we'll be husband and wife." She waved her hand, "but we've taken up enough of your time. I'm sure you would like to get back to whatever you were doing." Without another word, they turned quickly and walked away.

Frank lay back down on the blanket as his eyes followed the couple, "so…that's John huh?"

Kitty's eyes hadn't left them either, "yes, that's John."

Frank shook his head, "seems to me he has himself a winner there." He turned back to Kitty, "she really doesn't like you at all."

She shook her head, "she was under the impression I was trying to steal John away from her."

Frank thought a moment. "Well…were you?"

Her voice conveyed her annoyance, "Frank!"

Frank put his hand up, "now take it easy Kitty, it was just a question."

"A question you need not ask!" She looked back at John, "John thought it was a good idea if we hired a detective agency to try and find Matt. His good friend owned one and he went to see him. Regina was this man's secretary and someone John had known since high school, I believe. Her husband had died and, as it turned out, she had always been madly in love with John...I guess you can figure out the rest."

Their conversation was broken by the children's voices calling for John. Frank and Kitty watched as they gathered around him and he hugged and kissed them."

"The children seem very fond of him."

She stared at the scene, "he is really a good man Frank. I feel awful sorry for him that's all."

"You mean marrying her?" She nodded, "I can see what you mean. Look at her… she is so annoyed she's about to spit nails."

Kitty chuckled, "If anyone is capable of such an act it certainly would be her."

John stood, said goodbye to the children, and he and Regina continued on their way. She looked back at Frank, "she had threatened to kill me if John didn't stay with her."

Frank abruptly turned back to Kitty, "what?"

Kitty nodded, "but in the process I think he found something appealing about her and now it seems he's pretty happy."

Frank reached across and held her hand, "does it bother you to see them together?"

Kitty looked at Frank and smiled, "only when I think he might not be as happy as he pretends to be, then I wish there was something I could do."

Frank took a deep breath, "you never stop thinking about other people, do you?"

Kitty smiled, "keeps my mind off my own troubles."

In the distance John and Regina settled on an area of the park for lunch. John spread the blanket and Regina emptied the basket. She looked over again at Frank and Kitty, "it looks like Kitty didn't waste any time finding herself another man." She snickered, "good friend of her husband's…I bet." John tried to ignore her comments as he dished out the food onto his plate. Regina shook her head, "well…I guess she has to say something like that so people won't think she's nothing more than a common…"

John turned and raised his voice, "give it a rest Regina!"

Regina feigned surprise, "but John I was only commenting about…"

"Well…stop commenting. I'm sick and tired of you commenting about Kitty. She doesn't deserve your constant assailment of her character. She's a good woman Regina, a kind woman, who would do anything to help another human being."

Regina lowered her head and whispered. "Yeah, especially men." John reached over and grabbed her arm, "stop it John…you're hurting me."

It frightened her to see the rage in his eyes. He spoke through clenched teeth, "I never want to hear you say another thing about Kitty for the rest of your life. Do I make myself clear?" She stared, startled, as he began to shake her, "answer me!" She could only manage a nod. He released her arm and stood, "you can finish lunch on your own. I've got better things to do today."

Kitty had been staring at the couple intermittently since they laid the blanket down and began lunch. Frank had taken note of her interest and as he turned he saw John stand and leave. "Huh…looks like there's trouble in paradise." Kitty just nodded as she watched John until he disappeared from view.

Regina had tried since lunch that day to make it up to John. She knew she made a terrible mistake and she was willing to do anything to bridge the distant between them. Maybe it would be impossible to reconcile a relationship born from blackmail but she was sure they had moved on passed her initial threat and that what John felt for her now was love. Even though she felt that she no longer was in competition with Kitty there were many times doubt crept into her mind and so she acted out. John's admission that he was in love with Kitty still gnawed at her but her constant barrage of insults was certainly not achieving her desired goal. She didn't deny that he had every reason to be upset with her; she just hoped that he could find it in his heart to forgive. She was preparing dinner when John came through the front door. He went to the liquor cabinet, poured himself a generous drink, and sat in his favorite chair. She walked into the room and stood before him. "We'll have to make some arrangements if you no longer want to marry me." He took a deep breath, stared straight ahead, and sipped his drink. "I just don't know how many ways I can apologize John. I know I say stupid things sometimes but I do love you." John did not respond so she returned to the kitchen.

He had given that afternoon a lot of thought since that day and he wasn't sure what he was more upset about…Regina's comments or the fact that Kitty seemed to be very cozy with her old friend. In about two months he would be marrying Regina and the finality of the act frightened him. A loud knock broke his contemplation. He slowly moved toward the door. "Good afternoon sir, I have a telegram here for Regina Lawrence." John thought about calling her but then he thought better of it.

"I'll sign for it."

"Sure enough Dr. Chapman." John reached in his pocket to give the boy a tip. "Thank you Dr. Chapman, good day."

John walked back to his chair when Regina came into the living room. "Was there someone at the door John?"

He nodded and handed her the telegram. He sat back down as she read it. "It's a telegram from my dear friend Julia's husband. It seems she isn't doing well. He thinks that I should come to Baton Rouge to be with her for a couple of days. Thinks seeing me might do her some good." She continued to stare at the paper. "I don't want to go John with the way things are between us."

He looked up at her then stood, "I think you should go. It probably will do her good to see you." She looked like she was on the verge of tears so he pulled her to him as he rubbed her back, "Reggie, I promise, I'll be here when you get back." He stared into her eyes, "it might even do us some good spending a little time apart from each other." He could see the tears welling in her eyes, "this doesn't mean I want to free of you, you know. It just means we might appreciate what we have more after being away from each other for awhile." He smiled, "I still want to marry you."

She hugged him, "oh, John, I love you so much."

He put his arm around her waist, "what do you say I help you with dinner?" He kissed her and then they walked arm in arm into the kitchen.

They sat silently as the coach made its way to the station. Frank had found it very hard to leave but he knew finding Matt was more important than any personal feelings he might have. "So Festus said he was starting out again?"

Kitty nodded, "I think he said he was heading south."

Frank shook his head, "Kitty, I just don't know where I should go. I guess I could go over the territory I covered before but I just don't think Matt would want to live in a very remote area, not after living here. I suppose I could go back to my cabin in the hope that he decided to visit but I'm not sure where to go from there."

"So you think he would stay close to a town?"

"That's my best guess. I can't see him living alone anymore. Maybe I'll travel the territory where Festus had been and go to the cabin of the friend that Matt went to visit. Maybe a fresh pair of eyes might turn up something."

Kitty smiled, "whatever you can do Frank would be wonderful."

He helped her from the coach and they walked over to the train. A few cars down John and Regina were saying goodbye. "Have a safe trip and give my regards to Julia."

"John you sure you're not able to come? I think she would like to see you too."

He shook his head, "I would but I have a few surgeries this week so I have to be here."

She smiled, "I'm going to miss you."

He took her chin in his hand, "I'll miss you too." He kissed her then pulled her into a long embrace. "I'll see you in a week." He helped her up the train stairs and she turned to throw him a kiss then he watched her go to her seat.

Frank held Kitty hands as he said his goodbyes, "Kitty I want to thank you very much for your hospitality these past few months. It was certainly the highlight of my life and believe me I'll never think of the holidays the same way again."

"Frank it was so good to see you and," she smiled, "it was no trouble at all. You were a pretty good houseguest."

Frank smiled, "just pretty good?"

Kitty chuckled, "you might have to come back and try and elevate your status."

"I would like that but hopefully the next time I see you Matt will be with me."

She touched his face, "you know that would mean so much to me Frank."

He nodded, "I know it would but…," he paused as he stared into her eyes. They had danced around each other for months now and before he left he needed to tell how he felt, "I…always had a special fondness for you Kitty and I…well…you know I'm going to do everything I can to find Matt but…what I mean is…if I can't find him…um…I just might come back here and spend another winter or two."

She held his face with her hands, "you know you're welcome anytime Frank. I would like that a lot."

Their lips met and he pulled her close to him. John had noticed the exchange on the platform, eyes never leaving the couple. Frank boarded the train and turned back to wave to Kitty. She smiled and waved back then watched as he settled into his seat. The train's bell started to clang and the wheels slowly moved into a slow and steady pace. Kitty stood until the train disappeared into the horizon. When she turned to leave she noticed John looking in her direction. She smiled, then waved, then made her way to the coach to take her home.

Kitty came through the door as Doc and Maggie were playing with the children. Doc looked up, "Frank get off all right?"

Kitty nodded, "that he did."

Doc tugged on his ear, "I don't mind telling you I'm going to miss him around here. It was really good to see him again."

Matthew looked up, "but Pop Pop he had to leave. He's going to find my Daddy."

Doc reached over and messed up Matthew's hair, "you bet he is Matthew."

John threw his keys on the table then walked over to the cabinet and poured himself a generous glass of bourbon. He walked through the rooms and took a deep breath. He thought he might feel alone in the big house without Regina but it surprised him when he realized he didn't. It was almost a relief as he sat down in his oversized chair and slowly sipped his drink. The wedding was only a month away and as the day drew closer he wasn't sure if he could really go through with it. He was positive that her recent remarks about Kitty meant that her hatred of her would always be in her heart. He was trapped and he knew it, there was no way out. If he didn't go through with the wedding Kitty's life was at stake, there was no doubt about that. He had come full circle from the first day he let Regina back into his life so in her absence he would try to find a way out of this nightmare. He was so deep in thought that the knock on the door startled him. A woman stood trying to catch her breath, "Theora, what seems to be the problem?"

"Dr. Chapman, I wouldn't bother you but Mrs. Gallagher isn't doing very well. As I usually do I stopped in to check on her and she is having trouble breathing."

He touched Theora's arm, "I'll get my bag and be right there."

John hurried the few blocks to Bridget Gallagher's home. A woman in her seventies, Bridget had a heart problem and it amazed John everyday that she was still alive. "Let's see what's going on here Bridie." He slipped a nitroglycerin pill under her tongue and waited for it to work.

Eventually her breathing returned to normal and she smiled. "You're a miracle worker Dr. John…that you are."

John smiled, "you're made of fine Irish stock Bridie and I think you're going to outlive us all."

"Can I be interestin'ya in a nice cup of tea?"

"Maybe some other time, right now I just want you to rest."

She reached out and took his hand, "you're a good man Dr. John and you deserve all the happiness in the world."

He gently tapped his hand on hers, "thank you for saying that Bridie and I hope one day I will."

"Well…you be marryin' a fine lass you are. That's happiness in itself."

John just nodded as he pulled her feet on the sofa and propped up the pillow behind her back. "Now I want you to rest for the remainder of the evening and listen to everything Theora tells you to do…understand?"

She wagged her finger at him, "you are a task master Dr. John but," she raised her hand as if taking an oath, "I promise, I'll behave."

John smiled, "I guess there's a first time for everything!"

She waved her hand at John and smiled, "now…go on."

He turned to Theora and gently took her by the arm as she walked him to the door. "I guess you know what to do by now."

Theora smiled, "I'm sorry I panicked but I had never seen her that way before."

He patted her arm, "I'm glad you did come to get me and don't hesitate if you need to again."

"Thanks Dr. Chapman." John smiled and left.

Kitty walked down the front staircase after putting the children to bed. Doc and Maggie were sitting on the sofa when she entered the room. Doc handed her a drink, "children all in bed?"

Kitty took a sip before answering. "Finally!"

She sat back in the chair as her eyes stared toward the floor, "something wrong honey?"

She shook her head, "while I was putting them to bed I thought how wonderful it would be if Frank could find Matt and bring him home. They have such high hopes that he is going to find Matt, especially Matthew, that I don't think I can watch them go through another disappointment." She slammed her hand against the arm of the chair, "damn him! Why did he have to leave?"

As he walked home John's mind was still racing. He walked aimlessly through the neighborhood concentrating on finding a solution to his problem. He just couldn't go through with the wedding and he needed a way out. He looked up just in time to notice that he was passing Kitty's home. The lights looked warm and inviting as dusk was settling over the city. He reached over to grab the latch on the gate but his hand froze. What would he say when he reached the front door? How would she react seeing him? How foolish would he feel if she told him that she had fallen in love with Frank and he was making arrangements to move here? He stared for what seemed like an eternity wanting so badly to see her, talk with her, and touch her again. The need to tell her everything he had wanted to tell her for years drove him. He wasn't sure why but it was important for Kitty to know that he was not in love with Regina and that Kitty was the one who would always be in his heart for the rest of his life. Confident now, he unlatched the gate and slowly made his way up the path. He quickly turned when he heard a woman's voice, "you never disappoint me John. I knew the moment I was gone you'd have to go sneaking off to see her."

John raised his bag, "I was making a house call in the neighborhood and I passed Kitty's house and decided I'd stop in to see how she and the children were doing. I would have told you when you returned."

Regina laughed, "oh sure you would have John. You would have shared with me all the intimate details of your night together."

John let out with a frustrated sigh, "for the last time…Kitty and I have never been intimate. That's all in your head."

She snickered, "I suppose you running off to see your whore when you thought I was safely in Baton Rouge was also something in my head."

John pointed to the house, "I'm sure that Maggie and Galen Adams are with Kitty now." He gestured for her to join him, "come on, I'll prove it to you."

Regina shook her head, "I'm afraid you've proven enough to me John…now Kitty must die." She reached into her purse.

John put his bag down and raised both hands, "Regina, now, put that gun down."

"I can't live in her shadow anymore John. The only way you and I will ever be happy is when we are free of her. While she is alive you will always want to be with her and I can't live like that anymore."

"Regina, you know I can't let you do that...I can't let you kill Kitty."

A strange look came over Regina's face that John had never seen before, "oh…but you will John. You have nothing to say about it."

John tried to reason with her, "you know we can never be together if you kill her…don't you? You'll be sent to jail and…"

"And you'll be all alone." She laughed. "Everyday you'll relive the vision of the life draining from your precious Kitty's face as you watch the blood ooze from her body. The blank stare in her eyes as they pronounce her dead." She looked at him with eyes wide, "you see John those are going to be wonderful memories for me no matter where I am."

He took one step closer, "let's go home Regina and talk this through."

She took the gun in both hands, "don't take another step John." She laughed. "Home? There is no home for us you saw to that John. We could have had a great life together but you destroyed that. You know how much I loved you?" John nodded, "then why weren't you satisfied with my love? Why did you want that whore more than me?"

John took another step with outstretched hand, "Reggie, please give me the gun."

"Not another step John…I'm warning you!" He slowly continued to move in her direction.

The three friends looked at each other as they thought the sound they heard was a gunshot. Maggie ran upstairs to check on the children as Kitty and Doc ran out to the porch. They both couldn't believe their eyes when they saw Regina kneeling next to John, holding his hand. The sudden movement jarred Regina's gaze and she quickly reached for the pistol she left lying on the grass. With both hands she pointed it at Kitty as she came down the steps. Regina shouted with a crazed look. "You see what you made me do? You made me kill the only man I have ever really loved. You just couldn't leave him alone…could you?" Kitty froze as a million thoughts ran through her mind. She tried to remain calm but Regina was beyond reasoning and it frightened her to think there was no way out. This woman was about to kill her and there was nothing she could do about it. She thought about her children and how horrible it would be for them to see her dead body lying in front of the house. She knew that Doc and Maggie would take care of them until Matt returned but…Matt…there were so many things she wanted to tell him and now would never get the chance. Her mind focused on Regina again as she raised the gun and drew back on the hammer. "I should have done this years ago Kitty."

Kitty closed her eyes saying a silent prayer, then she heard a male voice, "put the gun down Mrs. Lawrence."

Regina quickly turned her head in the direction of the voice, "I can't let you stop me. She needs to die!"

"No one needs to die Mrs. Lawrence just slowly put the gun down on the ground."

Regina shook her head, "no, she's evil. She made me kill my husband and now she must die."

"Your husband isn't dead Mrs. Lawrence so you're not looking at any time if he doesn't press charges. Let's not make things worse."

She chuckled, "things are already worse and she's responsible. Even if John is not dead he'll never be mine while she is living." She pointed the gun back at Kitty.

"Please Mrs. Lawrence I don't want to shoot you but I will. Please put the gun down!"

Everything happened so fast and when Kitty opened her eyes Regina was lying lifelessly on the grass. She and Doc ran to John, one on each side. Doc tore opened John's shirt and probed his body to check for the wound. "Doc? Is he going to be all right?"

Doc looked up at Kitty, "I don't know."

Just then John started to stir. He smiled when he saw Kitty and he touched her face with his blood soaked hand. "My angel."

She grabbed his hand and held it tight, "don't speak John, Doc's here and he wants you to save your strength."

John shook his head, "I need to tell you something Kitty."

She leaned closer, "shhh…you can tell me later once we get you to the hospital and you're in better shape. It would be better if you saved your strength."

He coughed and a thin strand of blood trickled down his chin, "I'm not going to make it Kitty…you need to hear…what I have to say."

Tears started forming in Kitty's eyes, "John don't say that, Doc is going to have you like new in no time."

His breathing was uneasy, "Kitty, I love you…I have always loved you…from the first moment I saw you."

She put her hand over his lips, "I know John…please stop talking."

He shook his head, "promise me…you'll always remember…how much I loved you. I would have been," he coughed and Kitty stroked his hair as she laid his head back down on the pavement. "The proudest man…in the world…if you were my wife." Tears were running down her face. He reached up and wiped them away. "Don't cry Kitty…I'll be all right now…that you know…you're the only woman I've ever loved."

His head turned to the side and Kitty looked up at Doc, "Doc…do something."

Doc shook his head, "Kitty there's nothing I can do here."

Kitty's eyes opened wide, "do something Doc…anything…you can't let him die!"

Doc looked down and just shook his head.


	33. Just To Have You Near

Doc motioned to Eric to take Kitty away. Eric bent down and gently helped Kitty to her feet, "come on now Mrs. Dillon I'll bring you inside." Kitty slowly stood as her eyes never left John. Eric continued to move her toward the house but she kept her head turned in John's direction. "Once we're away from here you'll feel better."

She looked up at Eric and shook her head, "I'm sorry. I should be thanking you for saving my life."

He smiled, "all in the line of duty."

Kitty looked puzzled, "but why were you here?"

Eric looked over at John then back at Kitty, "awhile back, Dr. Chapman asked me for my help. He told me how Mrs. Lawrence had threatened your life and wanted me to do something about it. As I explained to him then my hands were legally tied and there wasn't much I could do." He smiled, "but that didn't mean I couldn't keep an eye on you so I've been passing your house on my way home every evening and I've had my men unofficially watching your house too." He looked back at John again, "unfortunately, I was just a little too late to help Dr. Chapman." He looked back at Kitty, "now let's get you inside and I'll handle things here."

Kitty put her hand up on Eric's arm, "I'll be all right Eric. I need to check on my children."

Eric nodded, "I understand. I'll try and expedite the situation here. It's not something I would want children to see."

Kitty nodded, "thank you Eric." She watched him move toward the bodies and then she made her way inside.

Kitty was still in shock as she slowly made her way into the foyer. She stood for a moment eyes filled with tears, a blood streaked cheek, and hair tussled. Maggie was coming down the front staircase and gasped when she saw the condition Kitty was in. "Good Lord Miss Kitty…what happened?"

Kitty slowly walked toward the sideboard and poured a drink. She threw that down and poured another one. She came back into the living room and sat on the sofa. She took a sip of her drink blankly staring straight ahead. "How are the children?"

Maggie shook her head, "didn't stir one bit, they are still sound asleep." She looked at the front door. "Miss Kitty where's Galen?"

She responded in a whispered tone. "He's still outside."

She touched Kitty's arm, "what happened?"

Kitty moved her head from side to side, "I don't know. When we walked outside Regina was kneeling over John holding his hand. The next thing I knew, she grabbed a gun off the grass and was pointing it at me wanting to kill me."

Maggie put her hand in front of her mouth, "oh good heavens!"

Kitty took another sip of her drink, "I would have been dead if it weren't for Eric Fournier. He was passing the house on his way home when he saw Regina pointing the gun at me. He tried so hard to get her to put the gun down and after much pleading he had no other choice but to shoot her."

"Is she…dead?"

Kitty shrugged, "I don't know…I suppose she might be."

Afraid to voice her next thought Maggie softly asked, "what about Dr. John?"

Kitty tried to hold back the tears, "I suppose he is." She leaned forward and Maggie held her, "he loved me Maggie. He died because he loved me."

She patted Kitty's back, "now, now Miss Kitty. Everything is going to be all right. Why don't I help you to bed and get you cleaned up. Things might look better in the morning." Kitty looked up and nodded as Maggie helped her climb the stairs.

Kitty had tossed and turned all through the night haunted by the vision of John lying lifeless on the path. At dawn, she threw on her robe and walked down the hall to the children's bedrooms. She stood for a moment in each child's room thankful they remained asleep and didn't witness the gruesome carnage that was their front yard. She slowly went back to her bedroom to get ready for the day when she noticed her blood stained sleeve. She stood staring at it for a moment then she tenderly took it in her hands and sat on the bed. Her fingers lightly ran over the fabric as visions of John lying motionless flashed through her mind. She stood, draped the blouse over the foot of the bed, and went in to change. Doc was over early for coffee that morning and they had a chance to talk before they boarded a coach to take them the short distance to the hospital. When they arrived she looked up at the building and took a deep breath. She knew how painful this was going to be but she needed to do this for John. Aware of the ordeal this would be for Kitty Doc kept his arm firmly around her waist. She looked over at him and flashed a smile conveying how grateful she was for his moral support. They were startled when Gerard Rousseau emerged from the lobby. She felt threatened by his icy stare and Doc held her closer after feeling the tenseness in her body. "Come on now honey, don't worry about him." She nodded and they continued on their way.

Dr. Jack Richmond met them as they came through the hospital door. He extended his hand, "I'm sorry Mrs. Dillon to have to ask you to come but I didn't know of anyone else to call."

Kitty nodded, "That's fine doctor."

He held her arm, "are you sure you're going to be all right?" She nodded and they proceeded down a long corridor that seemed to go on forever. With each step Kitty felt her chest tighten and her breathing becoming labored. Doc held on to her tightly as Dr. Richmond finally stopped and motioned toward the door. "He's in there."

She stood and stared at the small glass opening in the door, took a deep breath, and slowly pushed the door open. The stifling humidity in the room did nothing to take the chill from her body as she slowly made her way over to him. She stared down at the man who just a day before professed his undying love for her. She gently ran her fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead. She turned back to look at the door, then back at John. She took his hand in hers, kissed it, and then held it with both hands. "John, I'm so sorry…" A wave of emotion overcame her and tears streamed down her face so quickly that she hurried out into the hall. Doc stood up from the bench and went to her. He held her tight as Dr. Richmond approached. Kitty looked at the two men, "it's so hard to see him like that." She wiped away the tears, "Doctor, what are his chances?"

John Richmond shrugged, "fifty-fifty." He put his hand on her shoulders, "I know this has affected you deeply Mrs. Dillon but I believe hearing your voice can only help. I only say this because he mumbled your name a few times when he first came in." He stared at Kitty for a moment. "I am more than aware of how busy a woman you are Mrs. Dillon but it you could find some time to stop by everyday…"

Kitty smiled, "if it will bring John back to us…I'll be here."

Dr. Richmond took a deep breath, "I can't promise that…you understand."

Kitty nodded, "I'll be here."

A nurse came up to Dr. Richmond and he excused himself and left. Doc looked at Kitty, "do you want to go home or spend more time here?"

She turned toward him and took a deep breath, "Doc…he has to be all right because..."

Doc looked bewildered, "because why?"

Kitty looked down, "because…this is entirely my fault."

Doc ran his hand over his moustache, "how you figure that?" He directed her to the bench.

They sat down and Kitty continued, "If Matt hadn't left and John didn't try to help find him then he would have never run into Regina again and he'd…well…he'd be helping patients in this hospital not one himself."

Doc waved his hand, "Conjecture…pure conjecture…that's all it is." He ran his hand over his moustache again, "if you want to place blame I'd put it at the feet of your gallivanting husband…that's who I'd blame." Kitty made a face. "I want you to stop thinking this way Kitty. Matt left and John wanted to help…end of story. Now, if you want to come every day to visit John then that's fine but I don't want you to ever mention again how responsible you are for anything that took place. Do you hear me young lady?"

Kitty smiled, "I hear you Doc."

He nodded, "OK then…now what do you want to do?"

She thought a moment and turned toward Doc, "I'll come back tomorrow."

Doc stood and helped Kitty up off the bench. "Why don't we go have lunch?"

Kitty looked at her friend, hand on her hip, "are you trying to mooch a lunch off of me doctor?"

Doc smiled and nodded, "any way I can." She chuckled as they walked toward the front door of the hospital.

Kitty had been coming to the hospital for a few days now and everyday she would talk to John about the children, the restaurant, and the unsuccessful search for Matt but his condition remained the same. It was a constant battle to drive the doubt from her mind that John was going to recover as he lay there barely alive. She would occasionally walk around the room to stretch her weary body then she would pull the chair close to the bed and resumed her daily routine of stroking his face and holding his hand. Although she wasn't having much success she sighed and tried again. "John, I wish you could hear me but…well…I think it's time for me to tell you something. I'm so grateful that you are in my life. When Matt left me I was so devastated that I couldn't think straight but there you were with your optimistic attitude and your generous, caring ways and I…well…I don't know how I could have gotten through all those years without you." She looked down at his hand, the hand that had healed so many people over the years, and tears formed in her eyes. "I've heard it said before that confession is good for the soul and I guess that is no truer than now." She stared at his peaceful face, "I wanted to make love to you that morning in Dodge, John, just as much as I wanted to in _**Russell's**_ that night. It would have been so easy to give in to you physically both those times but then it wouldn't have been fair to you because you would never have all of me…and I think you knew that. I know it's crazy but after all this time I still love Matt," she looked down, "I know I always will." She looked again at his face, "you deserve better than me John." Choked up with emotion she stood and headed for the door. She stopped when she thought she heard a raspy voice call her name. She turned to see John's eyes slowly open and as they focused on her face he smiled. She slowly walked back to the bed and stroked his face, "well…it's about time you woke up."

"I'm so glad you're here…Kitty."

She smiled, "now…where else would I be?" She pulled the chair close to the bed again and held his hand, "how do you feel?"

"Well rested?" He smiled.

She returned the smile, "you gave me quite a scare…you know that?"

"I couldn't let her kill you Kitty. I would die a million deaths before I would let anything happen to you."

She stroked his arm, "now you stop talking like that John Chapman or I'm going to have to leave."

He took a deep breath and smiled, "yes ma'am." They stared into each other's eyes then John spoke, "is Regina…"

Kitty nodded, "she's dead."

He closed his eyes then shook his head, "she was tortured…the poor woman…it's probably for the best."

"Tortured or not I just wish it didn't have to come to that."

John smiled, "you really are something…you know that? She wanted you dead Kitty."

"I know that John and as much as I'm glad that I'm still alive that doesn't mean I can't feel bad that it happened."

He smiled and shook his head, "you really are something."

"I'll tell you one thing though…that boss of hers gives me the willies."

John looked puzzled, "Gerard?"

Kitty nodded, "the first day I came here Doc and I ran into him. He didn't say a word but the look he gave me…well…if looks could kill."

John grimaced as he tried to move his body, "he was very fond of Regina and he wouldn't listen to me when I told him that she needed professional help. Eventually I had to play the game with him too."

Kitty waved her hand, "that's all behind us now John. You're going to get well and that's all I care about."

He took her hand and rubbed his thumb over the back of it. "I'm so glad you're here Kitty. There is a reason to live now."

Kitty stood and leaned over to kiss him, "you bet there is John." She stroked his face, "now, you behave yourself and follow orders, remember you're a patient not the doctor. I'll be back again tomorrow." He smiled as he watched her leave the room.

As Kitty was leaving John's room Dr. Richmond called after her. She turned and smiled, "John is awake, Doctor."

A huge grin came across John Richmond's face. "That's great news Mrs. Dillon! I'll go in to see him in a minute but first I want to speak with you." He took Kitty by the arm and led her to a bench. After they had been seated he spoke, "as much as I'm happy to hear that John has finally responded to treatment this now presents us with a problem Mrs. Dillon."

Kitty looked confused, "a problem?"

John Richmond nodded, "when he is released he cannot be left alone. I was wondering if you might know someone who could be his caregiver until he will be able to take care of himself."

Kitty smiled, "Doctor, I have an extra room in my home. There was never any doubt that if John pulled through he would come live with us," she rested her hand on his arm, "so you can put your mind at ease."

A huge grin ran across his face, "I feel so relieved. Thank you Mrs. Dillon for your generous offer."

Kitty smiled, "it's my pleasure Doctor." She stood, "now, if there is nothing else, I'm going to go home to my family."

He stood, "no, Mrs. Dillon. I'm going to check in on John now and I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

Kitty nodded, "you certainly will."

He shook her hand, "thank you again." Kitty nodded and turned to leave the hospital as Dr. Richmond watched her until she left the lobby then he turned and walked into John's room.

The spring was finally here and Matt wasted no time in putting his plan in action. He was saddling his horse when Bright Moon rode up. "Where you going Dillon?"

"I'm going to go to the villages and see if I can't find a place for Brave Bear and his two grandsons."

She sat on her horse for a moment surprised that he still wanted to return home. It seemed to her that the past few months Matt was settling into his life here and that they were getting closer. She dismounted and walked toward him, "you cannot do this Dillon."

Matt turned, surprised, "I can't?"

She shook her head, "no, the boys need you."

"I've told you a million times Bright Moon that my children need me more. The boys will feel much more comfortable with their own people than having me raising them."

"How you know that?"

Matt was beginning to get annoyed at her insistence, "because I know!"

Bright Moon stood in front of him, "I'm their people."

He shook his head, "I can't leave you with that responsibility. You're a young woman who should be out starting a family of her own not saddled with two orphan boys."

Matt continued to hitch the cinch, "we could do it together Dillon."

He stopped what he was doing and turned to her. He put his hands on her shoulders. "Bright Moon, I've told you before many times I'm married and I have a family home waiting for me. I don't want to be here any longer."

She thought a moment. "How you know family wait for you?"

"Little Fawn told me that they are. I must go home to them now."

"That was months ago…how you know they still wait?"

He turned back toward his horse, "I'm not going to debate this with you Bright Moon. I am going home and that's all there is to it."

She grabbed his arm, "but you made promise."

He turned back to her, "what promise?"

"To Running Fox. You told him you would take care of boys. Promise like that sacred among our people."

Matt's face showed his frustration, "technically he died before I could make a promise Bright Moon anyway both Little Fawn and Running Fox understood my need to go home. They would understand my leaving."

She squeezed his arm, "but the boys."

"The boys are young enough that they can adapt to any situation. It will not hurt them when I leave them with another family."

"But this is their home."

Matt took a deep, frustrating breath, "they don't know that Bright Moon. Believe me they will never remember this place or me."

Bright Moon was getting desperate. She needed to say something, anything that would give him a reason to stay. "How you think children who not know you will act when they see you?"

Matt turned flashing anger, "what?"

"You been gone long while. Might not want you there. You big stranger to them."

Matt needed all his strength to control his anger at her words. "I will make it up to them. They will come to know their father!"

She grabbed both his arms and pleaded. "Please Dillon don't go."

He tried to remove her hands from his arms but she kept grabbing at him. "Bright Moon please…"

He tried to move but she kept holding on, "I want you to stay Dillon…we can be happy together."

He turned and shook her once, "I told you a long time ago that nothing was going to happen between us. I'm old enough to be your father for heaven's sake. Now, get a hold of yourself and let me go!"

She stopped struggling and with tears running down her cheeks she watched as he continued tightening the cinch. They both turned toward the cabin when a deep voice spoke, "you go…you break promise to son." Brave Bear pointed to Matt, "he save life…now…you dishonor his by leaving." He pointed toward the ground, "Home is here…will always be here…we not move. You leave…we stay…we die here!" After his say he turned and walked back into the cabin. Matt stood and stared at the front door for a moment and, with slumped shoulders, he slowly moved toward the bench on the side of the porch and sat down, head in hands. Bright Moon watched as he made his way to the bench and surrendered to the words of Brave Bear. She slowly moved toward the bench and sat down next to him. He didn't acknowledge her presence as she began to run her hand up and down his back and lay her head on his shoulder. After awhile he stood, walked over to his horse, and brought him around back to unsaddle.

Captain Eric Fournier leaned back in his chair and let out a frustrating breath. He had been working on the report for an hour now and the words were not coming easily. He hadn't written one of these in years and his disdain for this particular task was evident. As he stared down at the report he was grateful that he hadn't stopped his nightly routine for if he had Kitty Dillon might be lying in a hospital bed or on a slab in the morgue. He then thought about John Chapman and made a mental note to check on his status later that day. As he took pen to paper again there was a knock on the door. "Excuse me Captain, there's a Gerard Rousseau to see you."

Eric thought a moment before he agreed to have Gerard ushered in. "Well, Captain Fournier how good it is to see you again sir."

Eric pointed toward the chair, "what's on your mind Mr. Rousseau."

Gerard sat, "it's really a small matter that I felt I needed to speak with you about."

"And what's that?"

"I would like you to arrest Mrs. Dillon for murder."

Eric chuckled, "you're joking."

Gerard shook his head, "I wish I were. No, Captain, this is no laughing matter. Mrs. Dillon was responsible for Regina Lawrence's death and I want her prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law."

Eric sat stunned for a moment, "Mr. Rousseau…I'm really at a loss to figure out your reasoning."

Gerard leaned forward, "Captain, my secretary and Dr. Chapman were two people very much in love. I don't know if you were aware but they were to be married in a few weeks. Mrs. Dillon could not accept that and kept enticing Dr. Chapman with her sexual prowess." Gerard raised his eyebrow, "as a man, Captain, I'm sure I don't have to paint you a picture." Eric sat stone faced so Gerard continued, "just knowing Mrs. Dillon's background and how she sold her body for money for so many years should tell you everything you need to know."

Eric shook his head, "I'm not sure what you're getting at Mr. Rousseau."

Gerard was taken aback, "surely Captain it has to be clear to you that Mrs. Dillon waited until Mrs. Lawrence was out of town and then invited Dr. Chapman over for a night full of sexual delight."

Eric tried to hide his amusement, "with a house full of children and her two good friends there? I hate to refute your theory Mr. Rousseau but Dr. Chapman was carrying his medical bag." Eric shook his head, "I really don't think the visit was planned as you believe."

Gerard waved his hand, "just a cover so the neighbors would think he was making a house call." Gerard sat back in the chair, "no, no, Captain she is responsible for Mrs. Lawrence's death and I want her arrested."

Eric leaned his body forward, fingers entwined, arms leaning on his desk, "Mr. Rousseau I was the person responsible for Mrs. Lawrence's death. If I didn't come along when I did she would have killed Mrs. Dillon, make no mistake about that. She almost killed her husband to be; now why would she do that to someone who she loved so much?"

Gerard dismissed the notion, "that was an accident. The fool doctor was trying to protect his paramour and the gun went off."

Eric picked up a pen on his desk and began playing with it, "well, I would suspect that if Dr. Chapman was trying to protect his paramour, as you so put it, then I think that would give Mrs. Lawrence even more of a reason to want to kill him."

Gerard threw up his hands, "that's nonsense Captain. My secretary loved Dr. Chapman and he loved her. He told me so."

"Well, Dr. Chapman painted an entirely different picture to me Mr. Rousseau. He was only with Mrs. Lawrence because she threatened Mrs. Dillon's life. There was nothing I could do to help him then and that is why I was there the other night. It was my own personal stakeout, so to speak."

Indignantly Gerard stood, "I will not sit here and listen to this nonsense any further Captain. If the police department will not bring Mrs. Lawrence's murderer to justice then I will have to find some other way to make this right."

Eric stood quickly, "Mr. Rousseau, I know how much you cared about Mrs. Lawrence but if anyone is to blame it would be me. I shot her…not Mrs. Dillon."

Gerard shook his head, "the blood is on her hands Captain and she must be dealt with."

Gerard turned to leave and Eric called after him. Gerard turned, "I'm warning you Mr. Rousseau. I'll be coming after you if anything happens to Mrs. Dillon. Now, if you don't want to spend a good deal of time in prison, I think you better reconsider your position in this matter. I'm sure there's some men there who would love to see you again." Gerard stared at Eric for a moment then left. Eric shook his head then sat back down and wearily tried to finish the report.

Kitty sat in her office at _**Russell's**_ looking over the invoices of the past week that she had neglected since John had come to stay. As the clock struck seven she put her pen down, gathered her bag, and waded her way through the restaurant over to Sam. "I'm going to head home now Sam. Anything you need before I go?"

He shook his head, "can't think of a thing. Say, how's Dr. Chapman doing?"

Kitty smiled, "he is doing remarkably well and should be back on his feet in no time."

Sam smiled, "that's great news Miss Kitty. Dr. Chapman is a real nice man."

She patted his arm, "that he is Sam…that he is." She winked then headed for the door and into the waiting coach.

She entered her home, turned toward the living room and smiled. Doc and Maggie were cuddled together on the sofa drinking cups of coffee. "Well…you two look cozy."

Doc looked up and smiled, "we were until you walked in." They sat up, "you're back a little early tonight."

Kitty sat down in the chair, "why did I interrupt something?"

Doc smiled, "if you waited another few minutes you might have." He turned to face Maggie, "My wife is exceptionally enticing this evening."

Maggie slapped his arm, "oh Galen, now stop it."

Doc began to laugh as Maggie's face took on a crimson color, "see how embarrassed she gets. Another thing I love about her." He leaned over and kissed her.

Kitty smiled, "I hate to interrupt this loving moment but how's John doing?"

Doc looked back at her, "the last I looked he was holding court."

Kitty looked puzzled, "what?"

Doc pointed toward the stairs, "holding court…he has your children spellbound as he reads them a bedtime story."

Kitty shook her head, "John is supposed to be resting and the children should be in bed."

"Kitty, now, I'm sure this exercise is good for both of them. John will tell them when he gets tired and when it's time to go to bed."

She stood, "well, I better get upstairs and make sure he doesn't overdo it."

Doc and Maggie watched Kitty climb the front stairs. Doc shook his head, "she worries too much."

"Galen, now, Dr. John saved her life and almost lost his in the process. Miss Kitty just feels protective right now…that's all."

Doc looked at Maggie, "I hope this protectiveness doesn't turn into anything else. Since Festus and Frank are searching for Matt now there's a good possibility that he is going to be home soon."

Maggie shook her head, "I hope you're right Galen, I really do."

Kitty stood at the door of the bedroom a moment and watched as her children were captivated as John read. She waited awhile before she entered the room, "Isn't it past your bedtime?"

Matthew looked up at Kitty, "oh, but Mommy, Uncle John is just getting to the good part."

"And do you know that your Uncle needs his rest? He's not here to read to you into the middle of the night."

John looked up and smiled, "I hardly think seven thirty is the middle of the night…do you?"

Kitty put her hands on her hips, "who's the doctor here?" John smiled as she turned back to the children, "Uncle John will read to you again tomorrow but right now you're going to bed. Let's go." The children reluctantly made their way to their rooms after kissing their uncle good night. Kitty called after them, "and make sure you wash up before bed."

Matthew answered for the group, "yes, Mommy."

"Good, I'll be right there to tuck you in."

John tried to plead his case, "Kitty, I was feeling fine. I could have continued reading."

She sat on the bed next to him, "John, I don't want you to overdo it. I want your recuperation to go smoothly and for you to be back on your feet in no time."

He smiled, "tired of me already?"

Kitty chuckled, "no, it's just that I would think you'd be dying to get back to normal as soon as possible."

John nodded, "Kitty, I think we need to talk."

She looked confused, "about what?"

John looked down not sure how he was going to proceed, "I said a lot of things when I thought I was going to die."

Kitty nodded, "yes, you did."

He looked back up into her eyes and took her hands in his. "If that's the reason you want me out of here as soon as possible…well…you don't have to worry. I'm not going to act on anything I said that night. It was more a deathbed confession then…"

She patted his hand, "I understand John."

He shook his head, "no, I don't think you do." He took a deep breath, "I don't take back anything I said that night, Kitty, because they weren't ramblings of a dying man."

She smiled, "I know they weren't John. I guess I always knew how you felt about me. You sacrificed a lot to keep me safe and I would be a fool to think your feelings for me didn't run deep."

He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, "being in love with you has made my life so much more meaningful."

"John…"

"Kitty, now, let me finish." He took a deep breath, "I would give anything to wake up next to you every morning and know that you are my wife. You are what every man could ever hope for, a woman who is intelligent, compassionate, loving, beautiful and a wonderful mom." The tears were forming in Kitty's eyes, "well…maybe not the best cook in the world," Kitty smiled through her tears, "but as long as Matt is alive I know you will never fall out of love with him. He is your soul mate, he always was, and he always will be. There is no chance that you will fall in love with anyone else…I know that believe me. I also know that I once said that I could never go back to just being friends but I've had some time to think about that position and I realize now that not seeing you at all would make my life so very empty. I need to be around you Kitty; I need to be around your children. I guess I sound like some pathetic old man but that's the truth of it. I want you in my life any way I can have you.

Kitty began to sob as she touched his face, "you're not a pathetic old man John." She ran her fingers down his face, "You would think that after all this time I could forget Matt but I can't."

John smiled, "I know."

He wiped the tears away from her face, "you're a good man John, one of the finest men I have ever known, and I do care about you very much. You have been so good to me and to my children and I'd miss you if you weren't in my life."

John smiled, "I guess I'll have to be satisfied with that."

She smiled as she leaned over to give him a hug, "I am so happy that you are doing well John."

He patted her back, "so am I."

She wiped away the remaining tears on her face and stood, "well… I better go say good night to the children and I'll see you tomorrow."

John smiled, "I look forward to it." He watched as she left the room and then he stared straight ahead. As he sank into the pillows he wondered what it would take for Kitty to allow her heart to love again. In a way he was glad that his secret was out because without a doubt she now knew how much he loved her. He only hoped that her knowing the truth would one day help her trust his love. He would continue to play the good friend and give her as much space as she needed. If all worked out as planned she would eventually come to love him too. As he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep a beautiful redhead and a wedding band were his final thoughts.

Bright Moon looked out the cabin window as Matt continued to chop wood. He had not said a word since he unsaddled his horse and unpacked his carpetbag that day. She had helped with the boys and cooked all their meals and unlike the past few months he neither acknowledged that fact or that she even existed. He would put the boys to bed and then stay in their room. Gone was the smile, the good mornings, the gratitude, the checker games. He was a recluse among people and Bright Moon's ideal of sharing his life had turned into a nightmare. She stayed hoping that one day he would realize how ridiculous his behavior was and once again talk to her. If only she could make him see that they could have a wonderful life here as she was more than capable of making a man feel very good, she just needed a chance to prove it. She noticed that he stopped chopping and looked off into the distance. Matt shielded his eyes from the sun as a lone rider approached the cabin. He put his hand on his gun as the rider came closer. Matt shook his head in disbelief when he realized who the man was. "Well…if you aren't a sight for sore eyes. I thought you might be dead by now. What are you doing here?"

The man dismounted, "might ask you the same." He walked toward Matt with hand extended, "good to see you again my friend."

Matt shook his hand, "how long has it been?"

He shook his head, "many moons ago…they were good times."

Matt nodded, "Where are you headed?"

"Somewhere, anywhere, I just travel. Do what I can to make money, keep moving."

Matt gestured toward the porch. "What'd ya say we sit awhile and talk of old times Tobeel?"

He nodded, "I need to rest."

He followed Matt to the porch. After they were seated Tobeel looked around, "seems strange place for redhead to live." Matt looked down and didn't answer which confused Tobeel, "you left beautiful redhead?"

"Not totally."

Tobeel looked even more confused, "what that mean?"

Matt looked annoyed as he turned toward Tobeel, "it means she's my wife."

Tobeel shook his head, "but she not live here?"

Matt waved his hand not eager to explain how foolish he was…again, "it's a long story Tobeel."

Tobeel shrugged, "I got plenty time."

Matt took a deep breath as he again told the tale of his life for the past six years. Tobeel listened intently in disbelief. He was about to make a comment when the door to the cabin opened and Bright Moon stood in the doorway. Tobeel turned to Matt with a raised eyebrow. "Seems life not so bad here either."

Matt shook his head, "it's not what you think Tobeel."

In his best poker face Tobeel replied, "not think anything." He paused, "say you have two Indian boys?"

Matt pointed out back, "I can show you their graves if you need proof. The boys are not mine."

Tobeel nodded, "me not need proof. Redhead…she might need proof."

Matt ran his hands over his face, "Kitty knows I could never be unfaithful to her." Bright Moon had heard enough and closed the cabin door.

Tobeel folded his arms, "what 'bout redhead?"

Matt looked puzzled, "what about her?"

Tobeel stared at Matt, "you away long time...have children to raise…need father…you think she not with other man?"

Matt's anger was at a slow boil, "I know she's not with any other man."

"Hmm…never know two perfect people." Matt became very quiet as Tobeel studied his face. "You say you need to stay here…raise boys with beautiful young woman…who looks at you with love." Tobeel shook his head, "she could make a man feel very young…have plenty of sons."

Matt turned and whispered. "Then why don't you stay here with her and have many sons. Then I can return home to my family."

Tobeel shrugged, "she not want me…only you."

Matt quickly stood and raised his voice, "well…she not get me!"

Tobeel motioned to Matt to sit back down. "Not good to get upset…sit."

Matt took a deep breath, "I'm sorry Tobeel."

Tobeel waved his hand, "no need to be sorry. I know you want redhead…I remember in Dodge…love her very much."

Matt needed to change the subject, "say, how's Evening Star?"

Tobeel shook his head, "she gone many years now."

"I'm sorry to hear that Tobeel. She was a good woman."

Tobeel nodded in agreement, "she was good woman. Not much to do without her so I just roam."

"What'd ya say you stay here for awhile?"

"You have room?"

Matt nodded, "if you don't mind sleeping in front of the fire."

Tobeel nodded, "best place I stay in long time."

Matt extended his hand, "it's settled then?"

His friend took his hand, "settled."

Bright Moon noticed the immediate change in Matt's mood when his friend agreed to stay on. They would go fishing and hunting and he smiled all the time now and even though Matt was speaking to her again, it was only to ask for something for either him or his Indian friend. She cooked and cleaned and had sole responsibility of the boys during the day. She would stealthy eavesdrop on their conversation in the evenings but all they talked about was the old times and she was getting tired of listening to how beautiful and wonderful the redhead was. All he wanted to do was reminisce into the early morning hours with his friend about his life in some town and how he was nothing without this redhead. One afternoon Tobeel returned with two bottles of the finest whiskey Matt had had in a long time. After dinner they sat on the porch and, as they did every night, talked about days past. Matt sipped his drink and turned to Tobeel, "I don't know where you got this my friend but I haven't had whiskey like this since the days in the back office of the Long Branch when Kitty and I tried to have a few moments to ourselves."

"Glad you like." Tobeel pulled two cigars from his pocket. Matt walked back into cabin to grab a match as Bright Moon finished cleaning the dishes. She watched as he went back out to the porch then she put the dish down and stood near the door. Matt lit both cigars and the two men leaned back in their chairs and exhaled.

Matt motioned with the cigar, "this is also very good…where did you get all this?"

"Better you not know," Tobeel quickly changed the subject. "So you and redhead meet in office many times?"

Matt stared at Tobeel a moment, "you're right…I probably don't want to know."

The two men sat on the porch into the early morning hours finishing off the two bottles of whiskey. Tobeel leaned toward Matt, "you ever going back to redhead?"

Matt slapped the Indian hard on the back, "Tobeel, my friend, I'm going back to the redhead one day and don't you ever doubt that."

Tobeel pointed to the cabin with his thumb, "Old Indian in there not want to leave. What you do then?"

He motioned for Tobeel to come closer as he whispered, "one day that old Indian will die and then," Matt snapped his fingers, "I'll take the boys to the village and I will go home."

"What about woman?"

Matt's face looked confused, "what about her?"

"She not be happy if you leave."

Matt shook his head, "she wanted to be here, I didn't ask her," he shook his finger back and forth, "no sir…she made that decision on her own. Anyway, she has a father Tobeel…she can go back to him."

Tobeel shook his head, "not what she plan."

Matt blinked his eyes a few times to focus, "I don't care what she plan…my plan is to go home and be with my wife and children. Now, if you will excuse me I think I'm going to bed. Good night Tobeel."

Matt tried to stand but he stumbled back down into the chair. Tobeel found that rather funny since as long as he knew Matt he was always in control. "Looks like medicine not agree with big lawman."

Matt made another attempt and stood but needed the railing of the porch to steady his body. Finally he turned to Tobeel, "Medicine worked fine tonight Tobeel…thanks." Tobeel just nodded as Matt slowly made his way into the cabin.

Matt's next challenge was to walk across the outer room without faltering. He reached his doorway but stumbled against the doorframe. The noise startled Bright Moon and she jumped off the mat, threw her dress over her head, and went out into the hallway. She ran to Matt as he tried to hold himself up against the door jam. She led him into the room as he tried to focus and regain his equilibrium. His hand ran down her arm and her soft skin felt good to the touch. He turned, lost his balance, and pinned her to the wall. He ran his fingers through her hair and she closed her eyes as his touch sent shivers through her body, a feeling she had never experienced before. His lips rubbed gently against hers and she pulled him closer as their kiss deepened. He ran his hand over her breast and a soft moan escaped her lips. Matt tried desperately to steady himself so he could remove the cloth impediment. As he lifted the garment he could feel her body respond to the closeness of his hand. He smiled as he whispered in her ear, "Kitty, I love you so much…help me get this dress off you honey." Bright Moon quickly pulled the garment out of his hand and let it fall against her body. She moved swiftly to her left and Matt's head slammed against the wall. He looked up just in time to see her leave the room and close the door. Matt ran his hand through his hair then brushed them against his eyes. The fantasy broken he carefully undressed and slowly knelt down to the mat. With the dream of making love to his wife so very vivid he fell into a fitful sleep while Bright Moon cried softly in the next room.

Any other woman would have left the next morning but Bright Moon could not forget his callous hands and how her skin tingled at his touch or his sensuous lips pressed up against hers as his tongue probed every inch of her mouth. No, this was only the beginning, a slight taste of things to come. Next time she would put her pride aside and embrace the role she needed to play just so she could feel all of him. If her plan worked, she would conceive and then he would be with her forever…no more redhead. She hadn't heard the boys this morning and when she came out to make breakfast neither Matt nor the boys were in the outer room. Tobeel walked over to the table and waited patiently to be served. He watched her carefully and when she turned to place the plate in front of him he spoke, "you know he have wife he love very much."

She nodded, "I know."

"You know he having hard time not with her."

She nodded again, "I know that too."

"He good friend…not want to see him hurt…you leave him alone."

Bright Moon feigned surprise, "I not sure what you mean."

Tobeel pointed toward his head, "women think too much…plan…see it happen. I know you want him for husband. I watch you…I see."

"Well…he doesn't want me…he say so."

Tobeel pointed in her direction. "You not believe it…want to make it so." He pointed toward back room, "he good man…love wife…I know wife…beautiful woman…very beautiful. She good woman too."

She leaned closer to him, "then why is he here? Can't be that good he stay away so long."

He took a bite of food, "sometime he too good man…feel need to help everyone. She know this…love him for it."

"You're just an old Indian fool with crazy thoughts. One day he forget redhead…I will help him forget.

Tobeel shook his head, "he never forget…might need young body for pleasure but you not get his heart."

She smiled, "we'll see old man…we'll just see." They stared at each other for a moment then she straightened up and went back to cook the next meal.

At the end of that week Tobeel was packed and ready to move on. Matt stood in front of his friend sad to see him go. "You sure I can't convince you to stay a little longer Tobeel?"

He shook his head, "must move on now."

Matt nodded, "I understand." He extended his hand, "it was so good to see you again, my friend."

Tobeel took Matt's hand, "good to see you again too."

"Remember now, you're always welcome to come back whenever you like."

"I know but hope you back home by then."

Matt looked back at the cabin and nodded, "I wish that too Tobeel."

Tobeel shook his head, "I not understand why you stay…you have own children."

Matt put his hand on the Indian's shoulder, "Tobeel, my wife is there for the children and she is a very good mother. They are well taken care of."

Tobeel motioned for Matt to get closer, "leave boys with woman…leave this place…not safe."

Matt chuckled, "what are you talking about Tobeel?"

"You not safe here with her."

Matt made a face, "what do you mean?"

"She want you for husband."

Matt look nonchalantly at Tobeel, "you think I don't know that?"

"You not think it funny when she have child."

Matt put his hands on his belt buckle, "then that would be the first time anyone conceived by just talking."

Tobeel was becoming frustrated, "she do more than talk…why you not believe me?"

Matt put his hands up, "oh…I believe you Tobeel but I think you need to give me some credit too. I do not lust after Bright Moon. There is no woman in the world who could replace Kitty no matter how long we are apart. It just will not happen."

Tobeel looked at his friend, "still think you should leave."

"Tobeel, I appreciate your concern but I'm just not interested in bedding down Bright Moon or anyone else. My only concern is trying to figure out a way I can find a new home for the boys and Brave Bear without feelings being hurt."

"OK, I warn you." He walked toward his horse, "might be back soon…make sure you all right."

"I'd like that Tobeel." Matt watched as Tobeel mounted his horse and rode away from sight.

Matt took a deep breath as he walked toward the cabin. With his good friend gone life would now go back to what it was before he arrived. As he came through the door Bright Moon smiled, "meal be ready in few minutes." Matt just nodded and checked in on the boys. She watched as Matt went toward the back room. He was going to be more of a challenge then she had originally thought but she knew time was on her side. After all his brave talk, she knew he wasn't going anywhere and that gave her so much more time to plan his seduction.


	34. Where Has The Time Gone?

It was six years to the day that John had been shot and close to twelve years since Matt had left. The morning storm clouds passed slowly eventually giving way to the noon day sun bringing with it the warmth of a cloudless sky. Kitty was all alone in the big house, the children at school, John at the hospital. She swayed rhythmically in the rocker on the second floor veranda as she sipped her third cup of coffee. She still missed Matt so very much but reality dictated that she not dwell on that fact for too long. John had been the perfect gentlemen since the day they had their talk so many years ago. She knew he still loved her and that he would marry her in a heartbeat but a part of her clung to the hope that one day Matt would return. She often thought how silly that notion was since, by now, he was either dead or he had found another woman who he loved more. She wished that she could move on with her life and marry again but no matter how hard she tried her heart refused to love another. As she took another sip of coffee she began to despise this alone time because it only reminded her of his desertion and her inability to let him go. She stood and walked to the end of the veranda. She looked out over the neighborhood and smiled. She did have a very good life here with her children, her good friends, and John. For most women that would be enough but the day Matt walked out the door she died inside. She sighed as she thought about John. He had been a good father to her children and a wonderful companion for her for so many years. She took another sip of coffee, took a deep breath, and started to turn back to the house when she thought she saw John coming up the street. Her brow furrowed when she noticed that Matthew was walking alongside him. She headed for the staircase and as she made her descent they walked in the front door. As she came closer she noticed her son's face. "Oh, good Lord Matthew, what happened?"

Matthew looked down not wanting his mother to see, "it's nothing Ma."

Kitty grabbed his chin with her fingers and gave his face a closer look, "honey, this doesn't look like nothing…"

Matthew took his mother's hand away from his face, "it's nothing Ma," He looked over at John, "I'm going upstairs."

Kitty watched her son climb the stairs then turned back to John, "John, will you excuse me?" He nodded.

She slowly opened the door to see her son sitting on his bed, back up against the headboard, arms folded in front of him. She sat on the bed next to him and placed her hand on his arm. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Matthew turned to face her, "I was in a fight, can't you see?"

"I can see that Matthew, what I want to know is why?"

He shrugged, "it don't matter."

Kitty looked worried, "it matters to me, now, why were you in a fight?"

"I told ya Ma, I don't want to talk about it."

Kitty's temper began to flair, "Matthew Dillon you are going to tell me right now! Why were you in a fight?"

Matthew took a deep breath, "Taylor Belmont said Dad only married you because you were having me. He said you had to trick Dad and that I was a bastard because I don't have a father." Matthew looked down, "so I hit him."

Kitty tried to control her anger, "I don't care what other people think they know, Matthew, I know what is true and that's all that is important."

Matthew looked at his mother, "but how do you know that Dad didn't feel that way Ma?"

Kitty snapped. "Because I know!"

Matthew looked down, "Ma, it's OK if Dad didn't love me."

"Matthew, I will not have you think that about your father. He loves you very much."

"Then where is he Ma?"

Kitty ran her hand over his arm. "Matthew I don't know." She tried to hold back the tears, "he could be…well…your father could be dead."

The thought opened a floodgate of tears. Matthew reached out and held her hand. "Ma, come on now, don't cry, least not for him."

She slowly controlled her emotion and looked up at her son, "Matthew your father is a good man. If you want to blame someone then blame me. I wasn't there for your father or you children, for that matter, when I was opening the restaurant. I couldn't see that your father needed more than just being your father. It was me who deprived you of knowing him Matthew."

Matthew stared for a moment. "It don't matter Ma, good men don't leave their families."

Kitty chuckled as she shook her head, "you're so much like your father, not many gray areas."

"Don't say that Ma, he left you and he left me and Katie. I would never leave my family…ever!"

Kitty could see she wasn't making any headway with him. He was always going to blame Matt for leaving no matter what she said. She started to leave when Matthew grabbed her arm. "Ma, is it true that you and Dad had to get married?"

Kitty swallowed hard, "yes, it's true that I was pregnant with you when your father and I married," Matthew began to speak but Kitty raised her hand to cut him off, "your father and I had planned on marrying as soon as he retired from the Marshal service but before he did we were blessed with you." She pushed the hair off his face, "the day I found out I was carrying you was the happiest day in both our lives and you have to believe that. There is no question that we should have married first before we started a family but just know that you were born out of love and I never want you or Katie or Joseph or Russell to ever have any doubts about that. I love your father and he loves me and the kind of love we share is for a lifetime."

Matthew shook his head, "they are just words Ma. If he really loved us he'd be here."

Kitty took a deep breath, "I know his leaving hurts Matthew and I wish I could give you an explanation as to why he has stayed away this long but I can't. We just have to go through each day and hope that one day he'll return to us," she turned to stand when Matthew grabbed her arm again, "Ma, what about Uncle John, are you going to marry him?"

Kitty smiled, "well, um, Matthew, it's not that easy."

"Ma, why not? He's been here for all of us since we were babies and I know he likes you a lot."

She gave him a look, "and how would you know that?"

Matthew shrugged, "I guess he would have to being here all the time."

She shook her head, "Matthew, I'm very fond of your uncle but he is not your father."

He sat up in bed, "That's just the point Ma he's always been here for us. Where's my father been?"

She laid her hand on his arm, "I care about your uncle very much but not like I love your father. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him." Matthew looked displeased as he folded his arms across his chest. "I really wish we could find him Matthew so you could get to know him the way I know him."

Matthew stared at Kitty for a moment, "Ma, you're still in love with a…a…ghost the way I see it. You just never seem to be happy."

Kitty smiled, "I am happy son. I have four beautiful children that bring my life such joy and make it full. When I look at each and every one of you I see your father and no matter how things turn out I will never regret one day, not one day."

Matthew looked puzzled, "then why are you always crying when you think about him?"

"I cry because I fear I'm never going to see your father again and that I won't be there to say goodbye." Matthew sat back against the headboard and stared. She tapped his arm, "you rest now and I'll be up later to check in on you." He nodded as he watched his mother leave the room.

John heard Kitty at the top of the stairs and met her at the bottom step. "He all right?"

Kitty nodded, "he's fine."

"What was the fight about? He was rather tight lipped with me."

Kitty took John's arm, "why don't you pour us a drink and we'll talk about it."

John wrapped his hand around Kitty's, "sounds good."

He brought Kitty over to the sofa and then went to pour the drinks. Kitty leaned back against the chair and sighed, a million thoughts running through her mind. John came back into the room and handed her the drink, "here we go."

She sat back up, "thanks John…for everything."

John smiled, "my pleasure, now, what was the fight about?"

Kitty again leaned back on the chair, "it seems one of the boys in Matthew's class mentioned that Matt had to marry me because I was pregnant…" she paused for a moment and stared.

John took her arm, "Kitty?"

"Maybe he was right."

"Who was right?"

"Matthew's classmate."

John shook his head, "you're talking in riddles. What about Matthew's classmate?"

Kitty took a deep breath and looked at John, "maybe Matt did marry me only because I was having Matthew…he always had a tremendous sense of honor. Maybe I did push him into it, maybe having a family was too much for him."

John shook his head and held her hand, "Kitty, you can't possibly believe that.

She shook her head, "I don't know what I believe anymore John."

John sat silent watching Kitty for a moment, "do you want me to speak with anyone about Matthew's altercation?"

Kitty took a sip of her drink as she stared straight ahead, "no, let's see how it goes from here. If Taylor keeps up his verbal assault on Matthew then…well…I can't have my son in fights every day. Hopefully they can resolve it themselves because I think complaining will only make it worse for him. You know, mommy has to fight his battles."

John nodded, "I see your point but I really don't think Taylor will be verbally assaulting Matthew very much in the future."

Kitty looked puzzled, "why do you say that?"

"I saw Taylor and he was in a little worse shape than your son. From what I hear when Matthew began to get the upper hand a few of Taylor's buddies jumped in and…well…Matthew faired very well under the circumstances. I have a feeling there will be a whole new respect for your son at school from now on."

Kitty took a sip of her drink and smiled, "he does remind me so much of Matt and now it seems he can handle himself like his father could." She sighed. "How I wish Matt knew him."

Her eyes started to tear and John patted her hand, "now, now, Kitty, we haven't given up hope."

Kitty waved her hand, "oh John, what's the use? I've been living in a fantasy world, Matt's not coming home. Wherever he is he's not interested in his children…or me…he just couldn't be after all this time. I guess the talk with Matthew just now made me realize that." She took another sip of her drink, "he could be anywhere…might even have another family God knows where by now." She shook her head, "no, I've got to try and forget him, move on with my life." The tears fell quickly and John held her close while she sobbed. "It's not going to be easy John…I loved him so."

John kept rocking her as he ran his hand down the back of her hair, "I know you did Kitty, I know you did." He tried so hard to quiet her but the thought of never seeing Matt again took hold.

She looked up, eyes filled with tears, "John, I don't want to look for Matt anymore."

Her statement took John by surprise, "what? Kitty…are you sure?"

She nodded, "enough money has been wasted. The next time Frank or Festus telegram me I'm going to tell them to come home."

"Them?"

Kitty nodded, "Frank had talked about possibly living here so if that is what he decides, the more the merrier." John was stunned by her admission. He had not given any thought to Frank making New Orleans his home, "anything wrong John?"

John's train of thought was broken by Kitty's question, "huh?"

"You were very quiet, I was wondering if there was something wrong."

John shook his head, "no, I guess I was a little shocked that you want to stop looking for Matt."

Kitty placed her hands over her eyes and then abruptly dropped them to her side, "oh, I don't know what to do."

John put his hand on her shoulder, "that is not a decision you have to make now."

Kitty stood, "it's pretty ridiculous for me to hold on to a memory so much so that I'm incapable of moving on with my life. Matt has found his happiness so I think I deserve to be happy too." She waved her hand, "he probably hasn't even thought about me in years."

John stood and put his hands on her shoulders, "now, Kitty, I don't believe that for a minute…and I don't think you do either."

Kitty chuckled, "there was a time when Matt would have moved heaven and earth to get back to me." She shook her head, "no, John, I really do have to move on with my life. My talk with Matthew made me see things a little more clearly. Festus and Frank have been on the road for too many years. It's not right to ask them to do it again this year." She turned around to face John, "besides, I really couldn't bear it if I found out he was very happy with another woman."

He ran his hands up and down her arms, "I guess there is no persuading you then?"

Kitty smiled, "John, I appreciate what you're trying to do but Matt is a very resourceful man. If he really had a burning desire to be home with his family, he would have stayed years ago." She felt a comforting peace come over her as John pulled her into his arms. He had been a good friend to her for so many years; if only she could feel the passion with him like she did with Matt their lives would be perfect. She looked at John, "I want to thank you so much for taking care of Matthew today."

He smiled, "Kitty, I think you know how I feel about Matthew and all your children. I love them as if they were my own."

She touched his face, "I know you do John and you have been a wonderful father to them."

He smiled and ran his fingers down her cheek, "I'm glad you think so."

Kitty smiled and John leaned forward to kiss her but their moment was interrupted as Katie came running into the room. "Is it true?"

Kitty put her hand on her hip, "is what true Katie?"

"Matthew…was he in a fight at school?"

Kitty nodded, "yes, he was."

Katie began to pace, "oh Ma…he ruins everything."

Kitty watched as her daughter walked back and forth, "what has he ruined Katie?"

Katie threw up her arms, "my big night Ma. Tonight is my recital," she put both her hands on her hips, "or is Matthew the only one who matters around here?"

Kitty waved her hand, "oh, Katie, you're being so dramatic."

Katie turned to her mother with outstretched arms, "but Ma, everyone is going to point me out as the sister of the big oaf that beat everyone up." She rolled her eyes, "it's going to be very humiliating."

Kitty looked over at John and he smiled, "see, I told you."

Katie turned toward John, "you too Uncle John? How come no one ever thinks about me? It's always Matthew."

Kitty smiled, "OK Katie, we're listened to your feelings on this matter, now, what I want you to do is go upstairs and do your homework. Let us worry about your brother." Kitty brushed a strand of hair away from her daughter's eyes. "I'll call you for dinner when it's ready."

Katie put her head down, "all right Ma," she quickly looked up, "I just hope I can perform tonight with everything that is going on!"

She ran up the stairs and Kitty turned to John and shook her head. "I don't know what I'm going to do with that child."

John laughed, "I get the biggest kick out of her."

Kitty pleaded, "John, please don't encourage her."

He took her by the arms, "Kitty she has a passion for something and I think we should try and nurture that."

She shot him her look then relented, "oh, maybe you're right."

John pulled the watch from his pocket, "I need to check on a few things down at the hospital but I should be back for dinner."

He kissed her on the cheek, "you better, Katie will be devastated if you aren't in the audience tonight."

"Wild horses couldn't keep me away from her performance this evening." He winked, "I'll see you later." Kitty smiled and walked out onto the porch and watched him walk down the path to the gate. John turned back and waved and in that brief moment she realized how lucky she was to have another good man in her life.

Kitty was just as nervous as her daughter as she helped her dress for the evening's performance. Kitty and Katie shared the mirror as the two women put on their finishing touches. Kitty's eyes began to water. "Ma, are you all right?"

Kitty nodded, "you have grown into a lovely young lady Katie and I'm so proud of you." She hugged her daughter.

Katie was nonplussed, "well…you are my mother after all."

She took her daughter by the shoulders, "you do know that I love you…don't you Katie?"

"Ma, of course I do." She gave her mother a hug, "even though I still think you favor Matthew." She looked at Kitty and smiled.

Kitty fixed Katie's hair, "well, your brother needs more looking after then you."

Katie whispered, "I know he's such a goofball."

Kitty shook her head as she put her arm around her daughter's shoulders, "come on…let's get going before we're late." Katie put her arm around her mother's waist and they made their way to the first floor.

Beatrice Delaney was one of the finest music teachers in New Orleans and since her husband died, music was the all consuming force in her life. Katie had been coming to Mrs. Delaney's home for the past six years. From the first moment Katie sat on the bench Beatrice was very impressed with the attention to detail she gave every piano lesson. She absorbed the study plan like a sponge and deftly handled the keys way beyond her age level. Beatrice had become very fond of Katie and by all accounts she was her best pupil. They had developed a close bond and Katie was the one child she looked forward to seeing every day.

The teacher was just as nervous as her students as the auditorium began to fill. The past few weeks she sometimes questioned if her idea of showcasing her students was such a good idea and worried how they would react to the added pressure of performing in front of an audience. John opened the program and was surprised that Katie's piano solo was the last of the evening. He pointed it out to Kitty, "Mrs. Delaney must think very highly of Katie to put her last…wouldn't you think?"

"Oh, John, I'm so nervous."

He took her hand, "it's going to be all right Kitty. I have a feeling Katie is going to shine tonight."

Kitty took a deep breath when Katie's name was announced. She watched as her daughter made her way across the stage and sat on the piano bench. As beautiful as she thought her daughter looked at home she was spellbinding on stage. She performed a movement of Mozart's Piano Sonata No. 11 in A and Kitty was beaming with pride as her daughter skillfully handled the intricate piece of music with total aplomb. She could feel the tears running down her face as she watched her. John heard her sniffle and turned to look at Kitty. He put his arm around her chair and whispered. "Are you all right?"

She nodded and leaned into him, "I was just thinking how proud Matt would be to see Katie up on that stage." John smiled and kissed her left temple and Kitty laid her head on his shoulder.

With the performance over, her family waited for her outside the auditorium. Katie and Mrs. Delaney walked toward them. Kitty extended her hand, "Beatrice it was a most enjoyable evening. They are all such talented musicians. You are a remarkable teacher."

Beatrice blushed, "thank you Mrs. Dillon and you have a truly remarkable daughter."

Kitty put her arm around Katie's shoulders, "I know I have Beatrice."

Beatrice smiled, "well, if you will excuse me I need to head home."

"Why don't you stop by the house for a cup of coffee before you go home?"

"Maybe another time perhaps, right now all I need is a good night's rest. I will see you tomorrow Katie?"

"Sure will Mrs. Delaney."

Beatrice smiled, "good night all."

The group said good night as they watched Mrs. Delaney walk away. John turned to Katie and handed her a bouquet of roses that he had hidden behind his back, "a virtuoso performance," he lightly clapped his hands, "brava."

Katie smiled and hugged him, "oh, Uncle John, you always say the nicest things."

He patted her back, "well, I mean it honey."

"You got some of that for your old Pop Pop?" Doc stood with outstretched arms.

She giggled as she handed Kitty her roses and flew into Doc's arms. "What did you think Pop Pop?"

He tugged on his ear, "I think you were the most talented beautiful young woman on the stage tonight. No one could hold a candle to you. I've never seen anyone play a piano like that!"

She hugged him tighter, "oh…Pop Pop."

She looked over at Kitty, "Ma…are you all right?"

Kitty had been overcome with emotion all evening. She nodded, "I just couldn't believe how poised and professional my daughter was on that stage this evening. Katie, I am so proud of you." She extended her arms and Katie ran to her mother. She hugged her daughter and kissed her on the cheek, "now, what do you say, we go home for a celebration?" Mother and daughter, arms wrapped around each other, walked away and the rest of the party followed.

Doc and Maggie returned home after the evening's festivities. Maggie went to the kitchen to prepare the coffee as Doc made his way over to the sofa. Maggie came into the room and Doc smiled. She handed him his cup and nestled her body up against his. "She's really something…isn't she?"

Maggie smiled, "Katie?"

"She was simply mesmerizing up there tonight," he shook his head, "simply mesmerizing."

She lightly patted his chest, "you have every right to be biased Galen."

"You're damn right I have." He shook his head, "Matt would be proud of her too."

Maggie took a sip of coffee, "I know that was probably going through Miss Kitty's mind a few times tonight."

"Well, I've said it many times before but that man is a damn fool." He took a sip of coffee, "outside of Kitty I probably knew Matt Dillon the best but that didn't mean I knew much and now I feel like I didn't know him at all. How could a man walk away from his family? I don't care if he thought that his wife had found someone else to love he should have at least stayed to be with his children…damn blame fool." He paused, "well, I'm glad I decided to make my home here…I'll tell you that much."

Maggie smiled and kissed him on the cheek, "I'm glad you did too, Galen."

Doc leaned over and put his and Maggie's cups on the table. "I'm glad that you're glad." He leaned in and gave Maggie a kiss. Maggie wrapped her arms around Doc's chest and snuggled close. He rubbed her back as he took a deep breath, "I never thought I'd ever find anyone to love Maggie." He kissed her, "in Dodge, I used to think that I had no right to fall in love because of how busy I was and all. There were so many demands on my time back then that in good conscience I couldn't have asked someone to share my life. Now, if I was a selfish man, I could have taken me a bride just to keep from feeling lonely." He shook his head, "the loneliness was unbearable sometimes. So many nights I envied Matt while watching him sneak across the alley up the back staircase of the Long Branch. Not only did he have the finest woman in the world in love with him but he had someone to hold him and love him when times were rough. For the life of me I could never understand his cavalier attitude toward Kitty. It used to rile me the way he'd treat her sometimes," Doc chuckled, "but boy you should have seen him when she was away, Maggie, he could hardly function. You know when she came down here to New Orleans to see John about her pregnancy and no one knew where she was, he walked around Dodge as if his life had ended." He ran his hand over his moustache, "no, I just never understood him. He was the luckiest man in the world in my book." Doc looked over at Maggie, "next to me of course." He ran his fingers down her cheek, "I never thought when I came here that my life would change so dramatically but when I met you my heart just sang. I couldn't believe it when you said you'd marry me," Doc chuckled, "I still say you need to have your head examined." Maggie chuckled, "but there's not a day goes by that I don't love you more and more and need you here by my side. You have made me the happiest man in the world and if it wasn't for your love I don't know what I'd do. You are my life Maggie and I love you so very, very much."

Maggie had tears streaming down her cheeks, "I love you so much too Galen."

He kissed her and stared into her eyes as he wiped away her tears. "What do you say I take my wife upstairs and show her how much I really do love her?" She nodded as he helped her stand, wrapped his arm around her waist, and they headed for the stairs.

Maggie gently rose from bed hoping not to disturb Doc. She had planned to make him his favorite breakfast, a channel catfish and home fries. She hummed a tune as she prepared the meal recalling how wonderful last night had been. She never thought she would have ever found a man like Galen and if it wasn't for Kitty hiring her she might have missed out on the love of her life. She had strained the last of the oranges and placed the glass on the tray next to the coffee. She quietly climbed the stairs and carefully set the tray down on the chest at the foot of the bed. She carefully moved behind Doc and gently wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek. She closed her eyes and sat up, back against the headboard. A tear slowly found its way down her cheek, "oh, Galen."

It was a humid, cloudy day when they laid Doc to rest. The mourners surrounded his coffin as the minister read scripture and blessed the remains. He then turned to Maggie offering his deepest sympathies and left. Those remaining slowly filed out still in shock that he was taken away so quickly. Maggie's sister Claire helped her to the coach and John tugged at Kitty's waist for her to follow. She looked over at him, "John, I'd like to stay a little longer. You take the children home and I'll be there in a little while."

"You sure you're going to be all right?"

She tried to smile as she nodded, "I'm fine."

John let go of her and turned to the children, "your mother just needs a little more time. She'll be home shortly."

The children followed John to the coach as Kitty stared down into the grave. She tried to formulate her words but they were so jumbled in her head since the morning she heard he had died. After awhile she took a deep breath and then began, "I'm going to miss you Curly, more than you'll ever know. You have been more a father to me then my own for so many years and I'm going to miss your sage advice and your comforting words," she wiped away the tears, "I'm going to miss you so much." She spoke between sobs, "oh, those days in Dodge…you always seemed to be there when I was at my lowest point…usually after Matt disappointed me one way or the other…and somehow you managed to always lift my spirits." She raised her handkerchief as the tears flowed. "Who's going to lift them now Doc? I would have never gotten this far without you," she continued to wipe the tears from her face. "You always knew what was best for me. I guess that's why you would never let me give up on Matt," she smiled, "I might not have Matt now but at least I have his wonderful children…they are wonderful aren't they Doc? I couldn't ask for better children and you know, with any luck, Matt might come to know that too." She looked around at the vast landscape, "oh, I almost forgot about Festus." She furrowed her brow, "I don't think I'll tell him until he's back here because I know he is going to take your death very hard," she smiled, "ya ornery ole scudder." She took a deep breath, "we had a real good run there Doc…didn't we? I'll never forget you Curly." She bent down and placed the rose on top of his casket. She turned to leave but returned to the grave. "Oh and if, by chance, you run into Matt tell him I never stopped loving him…OK? I love you Doc." She blew him a kiss and then turned to leave for home.

When she entered the house John met her in the foyer. As soon as she saw him she broke into tears. He held her tight and ran his hand across her back, "it's going to be all right Kitty."

She removed her head from his shoulder, "I know John it's just that…I've lost the only two men in this world that I've ever loved."

John tried hard not to let her see how her comment had hurt him. He wiped the tears away and smiled, "you still have me."

She cupped his cheek with her hand, "I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you too."

He removed a strand of hair off her face, "Kitty, I promise you. I'm always going to be here for you and your family."

"Oh, John," she hugged him tight.

John broke the embrace, "come on…I'll get you a drink and then I'll help Maggie with lunch. He looked at Kitty, "feeling any better?" She nodded then he took her by the waist and they walked into the next room.

Kitty was sitting on the sofa reading the newspaper when Maggie walked into the foyer and joined Kitty in the living room. "Claire get off all right?"

Maggie nodded, "yes, I just came back from the pier."

"It was good seeing her again. I just wish it could have been under better circumstances." Maggie stared straight ahead and Kitty was hesitant to broach the subject. "Maggie?"

"Hmm?"

"I know it's only been a week since…well…I wanted to discuss something with you."

Maggie looked over at Kitty, "what's that Miss Kitty?"

"Well…I just want you to know that you always have a home here if you don't want to be in the house all alone."

Maggie smiled, "that's very kind of you Miss Kitty but I feel close to Galen in that house, I don't know if that makes any sense."

Kitty nodded, "it makes a lot of sense Maggie but will you be able to…I mean…well…if you need any money I would be only too happy to help any way I can."

Maggie stood and walked over to the sofa and sat next to Kitty. She wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tight. "You have been such a good friend to me Miss Kitty and I will always be eternally grateful for all you have done."

"I don't know where I'd be without you Maggie. You have been here for me and my children for so many years and I can't thank you enough."

Maggie released Kitty, "I'll be fine, Claire is going to move here and live with me. We had discussed this a few times and the last time she was here Dr. John offered her a job at the hospital. I guess that helped her make her mind up."

Kitty smiled, "oh that is great news Maggie but what about doctor what's his name?"

"I don't think that relationship is going anywhere and she finally has come to realize it. From what she told me he has never really gotten over his wife's death. In his mind no other woman measures up to her." Maggie shook her head, "Claire said that if her leaving doesn't make a difference then she's more than ready to move on."

Kitty shook her head, "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Unrequited love is not that uncommon Miss Kitty."

Kitty looked down, "no, maybe it's not."

She took Kitty's hand, "I hope I'm not talking out of turn here Miss Kitty but don't you think it might be time to let Dr. John be more than just your escort?"

Kitty looked puzzled, "what do you mean Maggie?"

"Dr. John almost died protecting you from that mad woman and for the past six years he has loved you and has been a father to your children but you still hold on to this dream that one day you and Matt will be together again." She paused, "Miss Kitty, you know I love Matt and I have always thought very highly of him but the fact that he could stay away this long and not be interested in the children he left behind is inexcusable in my book. Whatever issue he had with you is one thing but to leave his children and not be the least bit curious how they are?" Maggie shook her head as she paused, "I've had a lot of time to think this past week and I realized something very important. When Galen first mentioned marriage I thought how ridiculous, us two old goats, but if I had continued to resist I would have missed out on so many wonderful years of being married to the most amazing man in the world and instead of having so many precious memories I would have nothing but regret now." She paused, "Miss Kitty, I know your heart belongs to Matt but I sometimes wonder if he is worthy of that love. Please don't throw away a good man's love for some dream you are chasing. It's been how long now…twelve years?" She shook her head, "you've wasted enough of your life don't waste anymore." Kitty's eyes began to water, "the last thing I want to do is make you cry Miss Kitty and I hope you know that. It's just that I think it's about time you started to love again. If Matt's not dead he certainly has moved on with his life and I think you need to also."

Kitty looked down and whispered, "I know you're right Maggie but it's so hard…you know?"

Maggie nodded, "I do know, I know how much you adored Matt. You'll never have another love like Matt but, you know something, Dr. John knows that too. All he wants is for you to be happy."

Kitty dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief, "it's not that I haven't thought about this a million times since John survived the shooting but I just can't see any other man holding me at night…at least not yet."

Maggie patted Kitty's hand, "remember how you felt when you thought Dr. John was dead?" Kitty nodded, "then don't let it go too long." She stood, "I have a few things I need to do at the house but I'll be back later to help you with dinner." Kitty watched as Maggie walked out the front door.

Matt was saddling his horse ready for another round of trapping. His hope that Brave Bear would have succumb to old age had never been fulfilled so he was resigned to making a good home for the old Indian and the two boys. He had been making good money bringing in the pelts and it afforded Brave Bear and the boys a life without many wants. It had been six years since Bright Moon had entered his life and she had been very good about living up to her agreement of only being his helpmate in raising the boys. He never stopped thinking about his family back home and although he had lost track of the age of his children he was pretty sure Matthew and Katie had to be teenagers by now. He shook his head to think he had missed most of their growing up. He was equally as sure that John had a hand in the upbringing of his children and he was more convinced than ever that at this stage he would only be in the way and had no right to interfere. As he tightened the cinch the decision he had made last night was weighing on his mind. He had folded the pictures of Kitty, Matthew, and Katie and placed them in the bottom of his carpetbag. His family was here now with the boys who he had raised almost since birth. They were his children and what they needed most was a mother. Bright Moon came from the cabin and walked over to the horse that Matt had finished saddling for her. "You take care of self Dillon."

Matt nodded, "say Bright Moon I'd like to talk with you."

She walked over to him, "what you want to say?"

"I really want you to know how much I appreciate everything you've done for the boys and me these past few years and I…"

Matt paused, "you want to say more Dillon?"

He ran his fingers through his hair, "I just don't know where to begin."

Bright Moon looked puzzled, "what you mean Dillon?"

He held his hand at the back of his neck, "well…you've been like a mother to those boys in there…a real good mother…and well…you probably should have a…um…a title of some sort."

She looked confused, "what kind of title?"

He began to pace, "it really hasn't been fair to you to be saddled with this responsibility and miss out on meeting a young man who you could fall in love with and…oh…hell!" Matt quickly turned around toward her, "when I get back from this trapping trip Bright Moon I want us to live like husband and wife." Bright Moon stood there frozen staring at Matt. "Now…I know I'm kinda up there in years but I still think I have something left and I should still be able to love a woman. You've given me a lot of your young years…I want to give you whatever ones I have left."

It took her a few moments to process what he had just said and then she ran and jumped into his arms, her arms and legs wrapped tightly around him. The force of her body caused him to stumble back into the railing where he was able to steady both of them. "Oh, Dillon, you never be sorry. I will make you good wife." She kissed him and he almost forgot how good that felt. He deepened the kiss as his hands cupped the soft skin of her derriere. His thoughts turned to Kitty and he abruptly pulled away and quickly put Bright Moon down on the ground. "I go tell father now."

He grabbed her arm, "I don't want you to do that."

She looked puzzled, "you not want me to tell father? Why?"

Having second thoughts he searched for something plausible to say, "well…it's because…I want to ask him first…you know…ask for his daughter's hand."

She smiled, "oh…then I not tell him." She hugged him tight, "I will wait for you Dillon, be careful."

He leaned down and kissed her, "I promise. Now, as soon as I get back I'll come to the Post and talk with your father…all right?"

She smiled, "I love you Dillon. I will make you happy…always."

He helped her on the horse and waved goodbye as she sped off into the horizon. He took a deep breath, ran his fingers through his hair, and went back to finish tightening the cinch. He would have a couple of weeks in absolute solitude to think his decision through fully but it might not be easy to change course if he came to realize he was making the biggest mistake in his life. He looked back to where Bright Moon had ridden and stood motionless for a moment. He wasn't sure how this was going to work for as much as he wished that he could drive Kitty from his mind she always remained and he hoped that the betrayal he was feeling now would, in time, fade away. Kitty would always have his heart and she would be there forever, nothing was ever going to change that. He would do what he had to do to make the best of a bad situation and if that meant pretending to be Bright Moon's husband for the rest of his life then that is what he would do. He just hoped that it would be enough for the young Indian woman.

It had been a week since Kitty and Maggie had their talk. Kitty spent every sleepless night thinking about what was said and as much as she wished differently she knew that Maggie was right. Too many years had passed for Matt to want to come home now and she certainly wouldn't want him if another woman had captured his heart and he returned to her out of obligation. She had made a decision and she was going to let John know tonight. He had no idea that she was even contemplating their night together and she wondered if he would be just as nervous when she let him in on her plan. As she dressed that evening Matt was ever present in her mind and when her moment with John finally came she hoped she would be able to live with her infidelity. She was fastening her jewelry when Katie walked into the bedroom. "Going out somewhere special?"

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't know you just look…um…different tonight somehow."

"Oh?"

Katie shrugged, "well, you look nice anyway."

Kitty smiled, "thank you Katie. I'm going to dinner with your Uncle John tonight."

"Hmm…must be a special occasion."

Kitty dismissed her daughter's comment with a wave of her hand, "Katie, I'm just having dinner with him not marrying him."

"What about that Mom?"

"What about what?"

"Marrying Uncle John."

"Oh Katie."

"I don't know why you don't. Uncle John loves you I can see that."

Kitty turned back toward Katie as she secured her earring, "Oh, you can, can you?"

"Yeah, and I think you love him too."

Kitty placed her hands on her daughter's shoulders, "Katie I am very fond of your uncle but I will never be able to love another man like I love your father."

Katie looked confused, "isn't that kind of silly? Daddy left us so many years ago and you mean you can still love him?"

Kitty took a deep breath, "Katie I know I'll never make you or your brother understand what your father meant to me and still means to me."

"Do you think he's still alive?"

"Yes I do because I always felt if your father was dead I would sense it. It might be silly to you but it's very real to me."

Katie eyed her mother, "do you think I'll ever feel that way about a boy?"

Kitty gripped Katie's chin with her fingers, "you have a long way to go yet before you start thinking about that young lady." Kitty kissed her daughter and then grabbed her bag and started for the door, "Oh Katie, help Aunt Maggie watch your two youngest brothers tonight, OK?"

Katie smiled, "yes Mom. Say hello to Uncle John."

"I will."

As Kitty came down the front staircase Maggie was coming down the hallway. "My, my, Miss Kitty, don't you look beautiful tonight. I know you're not going to work."

Kitty smiled, "no, I'm taking the night off and going to dinner with John."

"Well, you deserve it, have a wonderful time."

"Thank you," she turned and placed her hand on Maggie's shoulder and whispered. "Oh, and Maggie, I might be staying at John's tonight."

"Oh?" Maggie raised an eyebrow as Kitty began to blush, "Miss Kitty there is nothing wrong with that. I know Dr. John loves you very much and I'm sure you wouldn't be thinking about being with him if you didn't feel the same. Now go and enjoy yourself and don't worry about anything here. We'll manage."

"Now if you need anything I'll be just down the road at John's."

"So you said…"

Kitty smiled, "I'm repeating myself, aren't I?" Maggie nodded, "oh, Maggie, I feel like a young woman going on her first date. Imagine someone my age feeling like that?"

Before Maggie could answer John came through the front door. When he saw Kitty he stared and gave her a loving smile as he walked toward her. "Kitty you are stunning, simply stunning."

She smiled, "thank you sir."

He took her in his arms and kissed her cheek, "shall we go?"

As they walked toward the door Kitty turned back to Maggie, "I know Miss Kitty just go and have a good time."

Kitty winked, "I will."

They went to Antoine's for dinner and Kitty hardly spoke or ate much of her meal. John had watched her for most of the evening deep in thought as she absentmindedly played with the food. "Is there something wrong Kitty?"

She looked over at him, "huh?"

He took her hand, "you seem to be a million miles away tonight…are you thinking about Matt?"

She smiled, "funny, no I'm not."

"What is it then?"

"I'll tell you later…now…let's just enjoy dinner." After they left the restaurant Kitty suggested they go dancing. They stopped at a little jazz club on Bourbon, had a few drinks, and danced the night away. John loved having her in his arms and if it was in his power this evening would never end. Kitty was still very quiet on the ride home as they sat like two strangers in the coach. As they were approaching John's house Kitty laid her hand on his arm and turned to him, "John, I'd like to come in."

Not sure he heard her right it took John a moment before he asked the driver to stop. He helped her down from the coach and she wrapped her arm around his as they headed for the front door. He took her wrap and then brought the drinks to the sofa. He sat down next to her and waited for her to speak, "John I want to thank you for a wonderful evening."

He smiled, "and what was so wonderful about tonight?"

"I don't know. Maybe this was the first night I was able to really relax and just concentrate on us."

"In that case I hope we have many more nights like tonight." Their glasses touched and they took a sip. She put her glass on the table and removed her shoes, placing her feet on the sofa as she leaned into John. He wrapped his arms around her as they lie in each other's arms in silence. After awhile he began to run his hand up and down her arm, "oh Kitty, I love you." She looked up at him and smiled, "I just wish it could be this way always but I know you still have some unresolved issues to deal with. Just know whatever you want me to be in your life is fine with me." He kissed her temple, "I know no one will ever be able to replace Matt in your heart."

"Oh, John," she reached up and stroked his face as she stared into his loving eyes. He leaned down and gently touched her lips. They stared at each other for a moment before Kitty reached up and pulled his lips closer. John was surprised at Kitty's acceptance of his passionate kiss as he slowly ran his hand up and down her body. He moved his lips down her neck as his hand lingered at her breast and her body responded to his touch. She stopped him for a moment and looked longingly in his eyes, "John, I think we should go upstairs."

He lightly stroked her face as he whispered. "Are you sure Kitty?"

She nodded, "I'm sure."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The day that he had been waiting for had finally come and he hoped that his nervousness wouldn't impede him from satisfying her. He helped her off the sofa and put his arm around her waist. They were on their way to the stairs when a loud knock on the door made them jump. John looked at Kitty, removed his arm from her waist, and went to the door. "Dr. John?"

"What is it Bill?"

"There's been an accident at the factory down on Maple. They're bringing in the people now at the hospital and they told me to come and get you."

He looked back at Kitty then turned back to Bill, "All right now tell them I'll be right there."

"Sure Dr. John."

John slowly closed the door cursing under his breath, "I'm sorry Kitty. I'll take you home first before I go to the hospital."

Kitty cupped his face with her hands, "No need, I'll just wait for you here."

He smiled, "Can't say how long I'll be."

She shook her head, "doesn't matter I'll be here when you get home."

He smiled at the sound of that as he pulled her into a passionate kiss. He shook his head as he left her embrace, "I have to be crazy leaving you now."

"John you just go and heal the sick. We have plenty of time for us." She kissed him.

"I love you Kitty."

She smiled, "be careful OK?"

He nodded and walked out the front door. Kitty grabbed the blanket off the back of John's favorite chair, put her feet up on the ottoman, and threw it over her. Before long she fell asleep.

The next morning John walked into the living room and smiled. Kitty was asleep in the chair and the vision of her being there warmed his heart. He sat on the ottoman and took her hand and kissed it. She looked up sleepy eyed and smiled. "How did everything go?"

"We got everything pretty much under control. Luckily there was only one man who was seriously hurt but I think he's going to live."

She made an attempt to get up and John stopped her. "You sit right there and I'll get us some coffee."

She grabbed his arm, "now doctor you were the one who was up all night." She continued to ease out of the chair, "you sit right here and I'll make the coffee." He smiled as he kissed her and sat down and made himself comfortable. When she returned John was sound asleep. She placed the cups on the table and while she was laying the blanket over him she heard a knock at the door. "I have a telegram here for Dr. Chapman."

Kitty whispered. "He's sleeping right now but I can take it."

"Are you the Missus?"

She looked back at John, "that's under discussion."

The messenger looked puzzled, "aw, I guess it's all right if I leave it with you."

He gave her the piece of paper and Kitty reached into her bag and gave him a tip. "Thanks ma'am," he flipped the coin in the air and smiled.

She stood over John for a moment and debated whether she should wake him. She smiled as she laid the telegram down next to the cup on the table. She bent down and kissed his forehead, "sleep well my love." She grabbed her wrap and bag and made her way home.

As she walked into the foyer Maggie was coming down the stairs. She smiled as she whispered. "How did it go last night?"

"Well…"

On hearing the front door open Katie came running. "Ma, where have you been?"

"I was just about to tell your Aunt Maggie that Dr. John had an emergency at the hospital and I didn't want him to waste time taking me home so I slept there last night. He just came home a few minutes ago totally exhausted and I didn't think there was any need for him to walk me home."

Katie showed her displeasure, "oh, how unromantic."

Kitty sighed. "Not everything in life is a dime novel Katie."

Matthew walked into the hall, "Ma, are you all right?"

"I'm fine Matthew." She began to take off her wrap, "I have to say I'm flattered by all this attention."

"Well, we were worried about you Ma."

Katie jabbed Matthew in his ribs, "I told you she was with Dr. John, didn't I?"

"So, Ma never stayed out all night before."

Kitty looked over at Maggie and shook her head, "children do you think we can resume our normal lives now that the mystery of my disappearance has been solved?"

Before either Matthew or Katie could respond John walked into the foyer. Kitty smiled, "well, that was a short nap." She rubbed his chest and John smiled weakly as he showed her the telegram. Kitty looked down at the piece of paper confused, "that's the telegram I left on your table."

John nodded in agreement, "it is but it's for you."

She looked at John and then back at the telegram as she took it from his hand. She began to read the missive as her hand wrapped over her lips and she took a quick breath, "oh…good Lord!"


	35. Reunited

_Some of the words in this chapter are not mine, they were written by Jim Byrnes for Return To Dodge (they will be in italics). He wrote some of my favorite Gunsmoke episodes but, for me, this movie was a major disappointment._

Matt stumbled to the canoe and fell head first on the hard wooden slats, the pain from the stab wound becoming more intense as the swiftly moving current swayed the boat violently from side to side. In the hope of finding help further down river he did all he could to remain conscious but eventually his body slowly succumbed to the darkness. A fleeting vision of Kitty filled his eyes with tears and her name the last word spoken from his lips.

The Dodge citizens who had lived in town during Matt Dillon's reign didn't recognize the big man in the back of the buckboard. It wasn't until Oakum blurted out the previous Marshal's name did anyone pay attention. Newly organized the men to carry Matt up the stairs to the doctor's office and in the darkness each thought that this time it looked like his luck was about to run out. After his rounds, Newly came back to the office to spell Hannah, "how's he doing Hannah?"

She shook her head, concern written on her face, "much the same. Poor man is burning up."

"I'll sit with him now Hannah, you can go close up."

She pointed toward the stove, "I made some coffee, it should last ya the night."

Newly nodded, "much obliged."

"Good night then," Hannah opened the door and then turned back to him, "Newly, he called for her a few times, just thought you ought to know."

Newly watched Hannah leave the office, walked over to pour a cup of coffee, and then settled back in the chair for the evening vigil. As he took a sip, he faintly heard her name again which only reinforced that he had done the right thing when he sent a telegram to New Orleans earlier. All he hoped now was that she would be able to make it here in time. As he watched his mentor languish he wondered if their close connection wasn't keeping him alive long enough for her to say a final farewell.

It had been close to a week and the townspeople still came to linger at the bottom of the doctor's stairs. Every day, the conversation would eventually turn to his chances of survival and those who remembered his declaration of love for Kitty were sure he didn't have a chance without her. In unison, their heads turned as the stage rumbled in and the topic now focused on the lateness of the coach. The door to the doctor's office opened and Newly emerged hurrying his way down the stairs. "How is he Newly? Yeah, Newly, is he going to make it?" Newly didn't answer as he rushed past them, his eyes focused only on the arriving stage. He smiled as he opened the door and helped the beautiful redhead down from the carriage. The crowd watched Newly and with disbelieving eyes slowly made their way over to the depot. "Miss Kitty, it's so good to see you again." The old friends embraced.

"How is he Newly?"

"Much the same I'm afraid, just can't seem to break the fever."

"Does Doctor Maguire think he's going to live?"

"Well, he said every day that the Marshal is with us is a good sign."

The townspeople began to circle Kitty and one by one hugged her and told her how good it was to have her back in Dodge. She smiled and graciously thanked them all, "now if you will excuse me I need to get upstairs." Newly took her arm and asked Oakum to take her bags to the Long Branch where Hannah would set up her room. She stood at the bottom of the stairs and took a deep breath. "I don't mind telling you Newly, I'm a little nervous."

"Everything is going to be fine Miss Kitty," he helped her ascend the stairs and opened the door and let her enter first. She slowly walked to the bed and it took her a moment to recognize the man who stole her heart so many years ago. She started to cry, "oh Newly he looks so different."

"I guess being in the wilderness wasn't so easy."

She moved over to the chair and sat down never letting her eyes leave his face. "I'll be all right now Newly."

"You sure Miss Kitty? I can stay if you want me to."

"No, you go on now. I'll be fine."

"Sure thing ma'am but I'll check in on you later." Kitty smiled and watched him leave the room. She stood and sat on the edge of the bed. She took his massive hand in hers, kissed it, then held it tight, "oh Matt, how did we get here?" His hand was warm so she reached out to feel his head. She sat for awhile as she stroked his hair then she leaned over to whisper in his ear. "Matt, honey, it's Kitty. I'm here and I'm not going to leave this room until you open those beautiful blue eyes. I need you Matt, I never stopped needing you. Please don't leave me." The tears started streaming down her face so she stood and retrieved her handkerchief then sat back down in the chair. As she swayed in the rocker it was getting increasingly more difficult to keep her eyes open. After awhile, her eyes closed and she gave into the need for sleep.

Night was beginning to fall over Dodge when she felt a soft tugging at her shoulder, "Kitty, Kitty," she opened her eyes to a smiling Hannah, "why don't you go to your room and freshen up, I'll sit with Matt."

She straightened her body and yawned. "Thanks just the same Hannah but I really don't want to leave his side."

"Kitty, you need your rest. You had quite a trip and then you came straight here. I'll come and get you if there is any change."

"Good or bad I want to be here Hannah. I would never forgive myself if he took his last breath and I wasn't here." Tears slowly ran down Kitty's cheeks.

"Then mind if I sit with you?"

Kitty smiled, "I would love the company."

Hannah pulled up the doctor's chair and both women sat in silence staring at Matt. After awhile Hannah spoke, "we were all so shocked when Oakum brought him in. Doesn't look quite the same as when he was Marshal, does he?"

Kitty shook her head and whispered, "no."

Curious, Hannah eyed Kitty, "how's John and the children?"

"Oh, they're all fine."

"Decided not to bring them this time?"

"Well, the last time our housekeeper was away so we had no other choice but to bring the children."

"Oh, I see." She paused, "it probably would have been difficult keeping vigil with your family here."

Kitty nodded, "they understood that I needed to do this alone."

"Of course." She patted Kitty's arm. "Well, I have a business to run. You come get me if you need anything."

"What I need is for Matt to wake up."

Hannah smiled, "Something tells me he knows you're here. It wouldn't surprise me if he wakes up soon." Kitty smiled up at Hannah then watched her open the door and leave.

It was close to three weeks and although his fever had broken Matt had not regained consciousness causing Dr. Maguire concern. Kitty was slowly losing faith and knew she couldn't spend the rest of her life tending to Matt in Dodge when she had her family waiting for her in New Orleans. She was going to give it another week and if nothing changed she would have to return home but it wouldn't be easy leaving him. There were moments she thought about returning to New Orleans with Matt but she was fearful that he would not be able to survive the trip. As she ruminated over her limited choices she hadn't noticed Matt's hand move slightly. When she heard grunts and groans coming from the bed she turned quickly. Matt slowly opened his eyes but they widen in disbelief when they saw her.

"_Welcome back cowboy_." Kitty made her way to the bed and sat down on the edge of it.

He made an effort to sit up as he watched her sit down next to him, all the while fearing that this was only a dream. "_Kitty, what'd you doing here?_"

"_They didn't expect you to live_."

Matt looked around the room, "_this looks familiar_."

"_It ought to_," she smiled, "_you've been patched up in here enough times_."

"_Doc's office?_"

Kitty shook her head, "_Dodge City Kansas_."

"_You came all the way up here from New Orleans?_"

"_Old habits die hard_."

"_How long have I been in here?_"

"_Almost three weeks_."

"_Three weeks?_"

Kitty shook her head, "_someone really put a knife in you_."

Matt was finding it hard to speak, "_he's a gunslinger named Logan…he broke out of prison…came lookin' for me._"

"_And you felt it was your duty to society to bring him in_."

He shook his head, "_it was either that or kill him Kitty_." She smiled as they stared into each other's eyes. There was so much he wanted to say to her, "_glad you came…you're lookin' great_.

So unsure of how he still felt and thinking he was only being polite she responded, "_you cut that out_."

Matt smiled, "_What?_"

"_You listen to me cowboy I've got you out from underneath my finger nails and you're gonna' stay out_," she pointed her finger at Matt, "_you hear me?_"

After the last word left her lips she would have given anything to take it back. There was so much she wanted to say to him and that certainly wasn't it. In her haste to protect herself she worried that she might have done irreparable damage to their reconciliation but then she noticed Matt. He lay there smiling as if it didn't matter what she had to say. He looked like he wanted to hold her again and she hoped let her know how much she still meant to him. He was grinning like a school boy, "_yes ma'am_."

Kitty stood quickly and Matt watched her every move, "_your fever broke the night before last so I don't think you need anybody baby-sitting you anymore, I'm gonna' go get some sleep._" Kitty turned back to look at Matt.

Matt struggled to sit up enjoying the banter with his wife too much to just let her leave. He decided to have a little fun of his own, "_Kitty, I understand the rules and all but that doesn't mean we can't still be friends, does it?_"

Kitty looked puzzled, "_friends…friends? I'm staying at the Long Branch while I'm in town so when and if you feel up to it…I might even buy you a beer._" She raised her eyebrows hoping that Matt wouldn't miss her invitation to spend a night in their old room once he recovered. After the door closed Matt leaned back on the pillows. He shook his head as he realized how lucky a man he really was. Why she still loved him after all this time was hard to understand. The one thing he did know was he couldn't wait to see her again.

Matt had faded in and out of sleep making it difficult for him to tell when it was that he saw Kitty last. He wasn't sure exactly but he sensed he hadn't seen her in over a day and this was making him very restless. He was finding it increasingly hard to understand how she could stay with him day and night for three weeks and now that he needed desperately to talk to her she was nowhere to be found. He tried to convince himself that she wouldn't be here unless she still loved him and that their life together could still be salvaged but now he was having doubts. He was starting to believe that she might be having second thoughts and her absence was a further indication of the uncertainty of his place in her life. He smiled when he thought of Kitty and how the past twelve years had been so good to her. The more he thought about her he could feel his body responding to those long ago memories. He needed so much to hold her and tell her that he never stopped loving her but before too long his eyelids fell again under the heavy weight of sleep.

He woke as the door to Doc's office opened and Kitty walked through holding a tray of food. "Well, you're up! I stopped by last night with some food but you were sleeping so soundly I didn't have the heart to wake you. I left around two but you never stirred."

He tried to sit up, "A.M.?"

She nodded, "as I said before, old habits die hard!" She placed the tray on the table as she helped Matt to sit up. She grabbed the soup bowl and sat on the edge of the bed as she spoon fed him. Matt's eyes never left hers. "OK, maybe we should stop here. You haven't had anything to eat in awhile and your system might need some time to adjust." She stood and returned the bowl to the tray.

"Whatever you say nurse." She flashed him a smile and that warmed him more than any soup could.

She sat back down next to him, "oh, I'll give you nurse," she swatted his chest with her left hand. Matt took her left hand in his.

"Kitty you're still wearing your wedding ring."

"Why wouldn't I Matt, we're married. I didn't think that stab wound could make you forget that."

"Kitty I never forgot, I just thought, well, I thought by now you might have moved on…uh…with John."

She put her hand on her hip, "why do you keep thinking I want to be with John?"

He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, "honey, I've been away for twelve years and we have two children and they need…"

"Four."

He looked puzzled, "what?"

"Four Matt, we have four."

He shook his head, "I know it's been a long time but I don't remember having four children."

"That's because you left me pregnant and with twins."

"Twins?" He ran his hand through his hair, "well I'll be."

Kitty nodded, "Joseph Matthew and Russell Wayne."

"Two more sons?"

Kitty smiled, "Yep, you're pretty good at giving us sons."

He kissed her hand, "Kitty, what are they like?"

"Well, Matthew is very much like you; in fact, I suspect you were a lot like that when you were his age…except that our son is not anywhere near as wild."

Matt made a face, "and Katie?"

Kitty smiled, "she a beautiful young lady now Matt and an accomplished pianist. She had a recital just recently that I wish you could have seen. She's never at a loss for words and I think she could easily wrap you around her little finger."

He reached up to touch her face, "just like her mother."

Kitty smiled, "then, there are the twins. I can hardly wait for you to see them. Oh, Matt, they are such good children, you will be so proud."

He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, "Kitty, I'm so sorry I haven't been there for so many years."

"I am too Matt but I really don't want to look back."

"So where does that leave us?"

She sighed, "Matt, I want to believe we have a future...but…why did you stay away for so long?"

He stared at her for a moment and then took a deep breath, "Kitty, while I was with Caleb he took sick. There was a regional doctor who made the rounds in the mountains so I stayed with him until the doctor came. He told me that Caleb didn't have much longer to live so I felt I couldn't leave him alone to die. I gave the doctor a note asking him to telegram you when he got to the next town. I later found out that the doctor was bushwhacked and killed."

Kitty wrapped her fingers over her mouth, "oh, Matt, how horrible!"

"Thinking that a message was on its way to you, I waited until Caleb died and then I buried him. The next day I awoke to a huge blizzard that forced me to wait another few months. When I was finally on my way home I was shot and left for dead."

She grabbed his hand and held it tight, "oh, Matt, no!"

He smiled, "I really thought it was over Kitty. I remember fading away and thinking that I was never going to see you again and you would never know how much I loved you and wanted to come home."

"So what happened?"

"I was very lucky that two Indians found me and brought me to their cabin. Brave Bear was the father and his son Running Fox. Running Fox had a wife, her name was Little Fawn. I'm not sure how long I was there before I regained consciousness but she certainly took real good care of me. I felt very comfortable with Little Fawn and we had many talks. She could see I was very unhappy so one night she came out on the porch and we talked. I told her about you and the children and showed her your pictures. She asked what had happened that I would be here and my family so far away. You know, it's funny, the more we talked the more I realized I didn't know why. She made me understand that my family needed me and that you needed me and so I made plans to come home. When I got back to New Orleans the house was empty. I walked around and found your note to Maggie in the kitchen. I didn't know where you were and my mind was full of thoughts of you and John together. I stayed for close to two weeks but then I decided it would be best if I left." He rubbed her hand with his thumb, "you know I've only wanted you to be happy Kitty but the thought of you with another man tore me up inside. I knew I couldn't bear it if I saw you look at John like you use to look at me. I figured if you were happy I didn't have the right to stand in your way." He kissed her hand, "honey, I want you to know that leaving was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life but at the time I felt I had no other choice. I sat for awhile in the train depot and then, I guess, I got up enough courage to return to the house and although it would be hard for me to hear, I needed you to tell me that you didn't love me anymore and that John and you were very happy. With every step I gained more confidence and started to believe that you still felt the way I did about us and that there couldn't possibly be anyone else...but then I saw you and John on the porch. It hurt me Kitty seeing you so happy and knowing that I let you go so easily. I had a lot of time to think about us over the years and I realized that I always took you for granted. Why I felt you would always be there no matter what I did is a mystery to me. I'm so sorry Kitty for putting you through so much for so many years. Please forgive me."

Tears of joy streaked down her face, "Matt you have nothing to be sorry about. I'm just as much at fault."

Matt shook his head, "no, honey." He cupped her face with his hand, "I love you so much Kitty, I always have, and I always will."

He continued to wipe the tears from her eyes as she spoke, "please continue telling me what happened."

Matt frowned, "where was I?"

"You left after you saw John and me on the porch."

He nodded, "anyway, when I finally got back Little Fawn saw me coming and I could see in her face that she was very disappointed. She felt I should have stayed and at least talked to you and let you tell me that you didn't want me in your life." Matt chuckled, "I guess she doesn't know much about the male ego." Kitty smiled. "I really didn't know what I was going to do with my life without you Kitty but I didn't want to do anything that would further complicate your life, if that makes any sense. She wouldn't hear of me living anywhere else so I continued to live with them."

"She sounds like a remarkable woman."

"Kitty she was. I wasn't back long when she told me that she was pregnant. I was so happy for her but it made it very difficult for me to be there because it brought back such wonderful memories. I was such a fool to ever leave Kitty. I had everything a man could ever want in life; a loving wife and two, um, four, beautiful children." Matt hung his head, "that I missed growing up."

She stroked his hand. "Did Little Fawn have the baby?"

He nodded, "she gave birth to a son and a little over a year later she gave birth to a second son but we lost her in child birth."

"Oh, no, Matt!"

He nodded, "Running Fox took the death very hard but the children kept all of us pretty busy so he didn't have much time to think. Before she died she told me that Festus had come looking for me but she was afraid that he was someone who would hurt me she sent him on his way. She also made me promise that I would return home and knowing that you were looking for me it was a promise I was definitely going to keep. Before I left, Running Fox and I went out one last time to hunt. I continued to hunt as he took the antelope we caught back home. I heard a gunshot and returned to find Running Fox dying. I brought him home and buried him next to Little Fawn then I went out after his killer." Matt tossed his head from side to side, "it was Jase Dakota. He was quite surprised when he saw me since it was him who shot me and left me for dead." Matt ran his hand up and down her arm, "it was the first time killing a man didn't bother me Kitty."

She ran her hand along his chest, "oh Matt."

"I can't tell you how many times I just wanted to leave Brave Bear with those young infants but I just couldn't Kitty so I stayed to help him raise the boys…uh…with a little assistance from Bright Moon."

Kitty raised her eyebrows, "Bright Moon?"

Matt nodded, "she's a young half breed woman. Her father owns the Trading Post in the area. She was a good friend of both Little Fawn and Running Fox."

Kitty's brow furrowed, "how young?"

Matt waved his hand, "Kitty, you know I don't pay attention to those things."

She gave him an incredulous stare, "uh huh."

He twirled her wedding ring around her finger, "you a little jealous?"

She swatted his arm, "Matthew Dillon we're too old to be playing such silly games."

He ran his fingers down her face, "you know you're the only woman in the world I want Kitty…always."

She closed her eyes for a moment savoring his touch again, "so, you were saying?"

"You expect me to regain my train of thought having you so near to me?"

She shot him her look, "Bright Moon was helping with the boys…"

"Uh…yeah…so I hunted and trapped and kept everyone fed and warm with the money I'd get from the pelts. I was about to sell another load of pelts when Logan showed up at the cabin. While I was bringing him in we ran into some old mountain men who wanted my goods and in the scuffle Logan stabbed me. I remember falling into the canoe and I guess somehow got far enough down river that someone found me and brought me to Dodge." Matt took her by the arm. "Kitty…you'll never know what it meant to see you sitting here when I came to."

Kitty smiled through tears as she squeezed his hand, "I wished you had stayed when you got home. We were all here in Dodge because Doc had a mild heart attack. Maggie was visiting her sister so I had no other choice but to bring the children with me."

Matt began to rub her thigh, "Jase told me he saw you in Dodge with another man. He said someone told him that you and this other man had married."

Kitty smiled, "I had to protect our children Matt anyway I could." She put her hand on her hip, "Could you really believe that I would marry someone else?"

Matt shrugged, "Kitty I didn't know what to believe. I know that you and John…"

She leaned over and kissed him, "Matt, John has been an irreplaceable friend to me and our children but there is only one man I love or ever will love and that is you."

"I love you too Kitty but at this point I wonder is love enough?"

She looked puzzled, "what do you mean?"

"Well…we've been living apart for the past twelve years now, my children don't know me and they are half grown and, well, I don't know if the passion we had for each other is still there."

Kitty sat silent for a moment and slowly removed her hand as she turned away slightly. Without another word she stood and headed for the door. She grabbed the doorknob and turned back toward Matt. "I'll come back with your dinner later." As she made her way down the stairs her eyes started to fill with tears. Matt stared blankly at the wall as he ran his fingers through his hair. He didn't mean to hurt her again but he could tell by the look on her face that he did. He had to do whatever he could to make sure she didn't walk out of his life forever. He settled back against the pillows waiting patiently for Kitty to return with dinner and he would do whatever he needed to do to make it right again.

Kitty walked up the stairs to her room on the second floor of the Long Branch as she wiped away the tears. She sat on the edge of the bed holding a picture of her and Matt as the tears came again. She wasn't sure why but she was going to make sure Matt was on his feet again before she left Dodge, even if it meant he would walk away from her forever.

As he did every time Kitty entered the room Matt smiled. She had been bringing him his meals for the past three days but instead of staying while he ate she would drop off the tray and leave. Every attempt to talk with her would be met with the same excuse that Hannah needed her over at the Long Branch and she couldn't stay. She wasn't making it easy to talk but at least she was still in Dodge so Matt felt there was still a chance. The morning of the fourth day Matt was beginning to get restless. The inactivity during his recuperation was beginning to drive him mad. He sat up and let his feet dangle off the side of the bed then he made an attempt to stand. He felt some dizziness as he grabbed the bed post to steady himself. Clutching his side, he slowly made his way into the next room taking small, deliberate steps. He looked around the room noticing the changes the new doctor made to the office when the front door opened. Kitty noticed Matt standing in the other room. She quickly dropped the tray on the table and ran to him, "Matt! What are you doing?"

She put her arms around his waist, "Kitty I couldn't lie in that bed any longer. I just had to move around."

"You could have waited for me."

He made a face, "You've been pretty busy lately so I figured I better try on my own."

She was so close to him now breathing in his scent and feeling very vulnerable. She wanted more than anything to prove to him that their passion was still very much alive and that nothing had changed between them. Before she could say a word Matt released her arms from around his waist and slowly made his way back toward the next room. Kitty was devastated at his rejection and wanted to run and never look back. She slowly turned to see Matt close, then lock the door, and wedge a chair against the knob for good measure. He slowly made his way back to her and pulled her close. They stood for a few minutes holding each other in silent appreciation of the second chance they were given. Matt put his hand under Kitty's chin and gently brushed his lips against hers before embracing her into a passionate kiss. She slowly undid the buttons on his shirt and kissed his scarred chest as she brought the fabric down his arms and onto the floor. Her fingers slowly outlined the familiar markings working their way down to his fly as Matt let out with a soft moan. He grabbed her hands and kissed them. "Now it's my turn." He slowly removed her blouse and ran his fingers down her bare arms, then up the sides of her body resting them at her breasts. As his fingers played with the taut buds, she tilted her head back slightly allowing his lips to glide down her neck until they reached his hands. He opened the band on her skirt and let the garment drop to the floor. She stepped out of her clothes as Matt guided her towards the bed. He gently laid her on the mattress and stood before her as he slowly removed his pants. He climbed on the bed beside her and smiled as he saw the look of desire in her eyes. He masterfully worked his hands across her body instinctively remembering all those places that brought her the most pleasure. The contrast between his hard calloused hands and his soft gentle lips had always excited her beyond reason and today was no exception. Kitty softly whispered, "Matt, please, I need you." Her soft plea was music to his ears. He smiled as he lifted his body over hers and carefully brought his body down. She guided him home as he watched her face intently. She took a short breath and a tear slowly glided down her cheek. Matt stopped, "Kitty, are you all right?"

She brushed his hair with her fingers, "I'm more than all right. I haven't felt you in so long and…" As she caressed his back her hand felt wet. She noticed that there were traces of blood in the palm of her hand. "Matt, you're bleeding, come on now lie down."

He pleaded, "Kitty, please don't stop us now."

She lightly pushed him to move on his back, "Cowboy, do as you're told and lie back. If you think I've gotten you this far and don't intend to finish, well, I guess you forgot who you are married to!" She found a towel on the end of the table, folded it, and laid Matt down against it.

Matt's head hit the pillow as a huge smile crossed his face, "Yes, ma'am, you can take things from here."

She leaned over Matt and straddled him as the two let out with satisfying moans. Matt ran his hands up and down her body as his hips moved in a rhythmic motion. Kitty's facial expression told him all he needed to know and at that moment he realized again what a fool he was to leave her. He had missed those soft moans of "oh Matt" and running his hands over her soft skin and watching her body react to his touch. He could feel himself getting closer to the edge so he slowed down his gyrations but she continued to move her hips. Matt's fingers gently caressed her and she quickened her pace. The sweat was glistening from her body as she screamed out his name. Matt grimaced as they came to their release together and Kitty fell on his chest totally sated. He pulled the wet strands of hair off her face then held her tight. After catching his breath he chuckled. "What's so funny cowboy?"

"I guess we still have the passion…huh?"

She looked up, "I don't know why you ever doubted it."

He ran his fingers down her cheek, "I love you, I always have and I always will."

She kissed his chest as she lay down next to him and snuggled close as she let out with a little laugh. "I don't know how the doctor will feel if he finds out we used his bed for a morning delight."

"Probably the only time his bed will be used for that purpose!"

Kitty slapped his chest, "Oh, Matt, you're horrible. He saved you, you know."

"And for that I'll be eternally grateful but not half as grateful as I am to the person who contacted you."

"That was Newly, Matt."

"I figured as much."

Matt leaned on his elbow and stroked Kitty's body as his eyes followed. "My God, you are still so beautiful."

"Oh, come on now Matt, I've had four children and…"

"It doesn't matter you are still so beautiful to me." He shook his head, "I'm such a fool Kitty."

She cupped his face in her hand, "Matt, let's not look back. What's done is done. OK?"

He smiled, "do we have a future Kitty?"

She played with his hair, "I would like to think we do."

He laid his head near her breast, "you really want this old broken down lawman?"

She kissed the top of his hair, "certainly didn't seem old to me today."

Matt smiled, "well…that activity has always brought the best out in me," he ran his hand up the inside of her thigh.

She softly moaned. "Is that a fact?"

He kissed her breast, "oh, that's a fact! Maybe you need some more convincing?"

"Maybe I do. You up for it cowboy?"

Matt started to run his lips down her neck and as he reached her breasts she smiled and moaned softly. He looked up at her, "more convincing?"

"Oh, much, much, more."

"Happy to oblige ma'am." As Matt made his way down her body he stopped abruptly. "Um…Kitty…you are past the child bearing stage…aren't you?"

She let out with one of her throaty laughs. "Yes I am cowboy!"

He smiled as he made his way up to her lips. "Have I ever thanked you for having our children?"

She kissed him, "I wouldn't have missed that for anything in the world." She stroked his face, "now…um…weren't you in the middle of something?"

Matt smiled. "I hope you're prepared because I'm going to prove things are better the second time around."

Kitty smiled, "Oh, so you think…ooh…you're up…ah…for it…oh Matt…yes there!"

They slowly dressed then Kitty grabbed Matt around the waist. "What are you going to tell the doctor when he sees the blood?"

"I'm gonna' tell him the truth."

"Matt!"

"That I was taking a walk around the room and it started to bleed."

"Oh, you," she slapped his hip.

"What did you think I was going to tell him? That my wife couldn't control herself and had her way with me?"

"You would too! Here, help me try to get this bed back the way we found it."

They walked arm in arm into the other room back to Matt's bed. He sat down and pulled Kitty between his legs. "The room at the Long Branch the same as when we lived there?"

"Pretty much."

"I see no reason why I can't recover there."

"I can. I want the wound to heal Matt. If you stayed at the Long Branch it would re-open every night at the rate you're going. Once the doctor says you're OK to be walking around you are more than welcome."

He ran his hands up and down her back, "how long are you staying?"

"I was going to leave at the end of the week but I want to make sure you're on your feet before I do."

Matt looked confused. "You act like I'm not coming with you."

She cupped his head in her hands. "Matt, there is nothing more I want than for you to come back home but that choice is yours." She leaned over and kissed him.

"Kitty, get two tickets. I'm going home to you and the children."

"Oh Matt, I don't want to get my hopes up."

"Kitty, get those tickets," he ran his finger down her face then gently kissed her.

Kitty had not been this happy since Matt left some twelve years ago. She looked forward to the each day as she continued to bring Matt his meals and talk about their future; mostly she would quell his anxiety about the children's acceptance of him. The past few nights she laid awake recalling their passionate morning and planning one last night in their old room before they left for home. She wanted so much for the doctor to give his approval to clear Matt for travel and hoped that today would be the day. She left the kitchen of the Long Branch with a tray of food heading for the doctor's office. As she walked down the boardwalk she looked up to see Matt coming down the steps. As he approached he put his hands up, "_Kitty, don't say it_."

She shook her head, "_I'm not going to because it wouldn't do any good_."

He pointed to her, "_Look, seems to me I remember a lady telling me she'd buy me a beer when I felt better_."

"_If you don't tell the doctor then you're on cowboy_," Matt smiled, "_let's go_." Kitty turned to a man standing in the alley, "how about a nice plate of stew?" The man smiled and took the tray from Kitty's arms.

They came through the batwing doors of the Long Branch to raucous cheers and applause. The celebration was in high gear when a solider interrupted the festivities. He went straight to Newly informing him that he was there to capture an escapee by the name of Jake Flagg. Matt turned quickly and made his way over to the two men as Kitty looked on. It seemed Jake had killed the warden up at Black Fort prison who was a former Army officer and the cavalry had been dispatched to capture him. Kitty watched Matt and Newly in serious discussion after the solider left. The feeling in the pit of her stomach told her that there would be no reunion tonight in their old room. She knew all too well when Matt got that look on his face that she would be left alone. She could feel her eyes welling with tears so she quietly made her way to her old office. She stood for a moment, hand against her mouth, trying hard to control the helplessness that overtook her. She was a fool to believe that there would be a happy ending this time around and she chastised herself for being so trusting. Her life with Matt had always been moments of extreme happiness but also long bouts of loneliness and no matter how much she would like it to be different she realized now that was never going to change. It shouldn't have surprised her that finding Jake Flagg would be more important than loving her or being a father to their children. She had to leave and she had to leave now before Matt knew she was gone although at this point she felt he most likely wouldn't notice or care. She walked toward the back door when she heard the office door open. "Kitty, where are you going?"

She turned around, "I'm going up to the room Matt and pack."

He looked puzzled, "pack? Without me?"

The absurdity of his words made her smile, "you really are something…you know that?" She walked toward him, "Matt, are you going after Jake Flagg?"

He shrugged, "Kitty, I have no choice, I have to."

"Maybe you forgot Matt but you're not on the clock any longer. Let the authorities handle things from here."

"But Kitty, he's a friend of mine."

She extended her arms to make a point, "and I'm your wife and you have four children at home that need to know their father." Matt looked down, "I already know what you're going to do so just go and do it. As you always said, we never needed any explanations between us."

She turned away from him and walked over to pour a drink. Matt stood for awhile watching her. He knew in his heart that Jake Flagg wasn't a cold blooded murderer and that he was the only one who could prove it. Now, if he could only convince Kitty to stay until he came back. He slowly walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Kitty, I…"

She whirled around, "I don't care to hear it Matt. I really thought things would be different this time but I should have known better and that's my fault."

"What am I suppose to do Kitty? I know that part of the country better than most people."

She put her hands on her hips, "you should…you've spent the past twelve years there." He took a deep breath, "don't you understand Matt I can't do this anymore. I can't keep having my heart broken time and again by you."

He placed his hands on her shoulders, "Kitty, I need you to understand one last time. I promise you when I return we will be on the first train, stagecoach, heck, we'll ride on mules if we have to. Just let me do this one last thing and I promise you I will make this up to you every day for the rest of our lives."

She shook her head, "I'm sorry Matt. I just can't do it anymore." She turned and walked out the door. She slowly climbed the back staircase and made her way to the room leaving Matt standing in the office alone with his thoughts. She opened the armoire and began to pack her bag when out of the corner of her eye she noticed Matt slowly climbing the stairs to the doctor's office less spry then his descent moments ago. Kitty could tell that that this was not an easy decision for him. She walked over to the window and stood for a moment looking at the doctor's office then she turned back and walked around the room. As her fingertips danced lightly over the furniture memories of their life together and the nights of loving commitment came rushing back. She again stood at the lace curtained window and stared down at the dusty street. With emotion now tempered she realized she couldn't walk away from Matt knowing how it was between them and although she would have to give in one more time it was only because there was so much at stake now. She took a deep breath and hoped her decision wouldn't be the biggest mistake in her life.

Night had fallen over Dodge and Kitty watched as Matt packed his bag from her perch at the Long Branch. Most of the day she debated which path to take and after much thought she turned and made her way down the back stairs and across the alley. Newly was walking in her direction and as he saw her he tipped his hat, "evening Miss Kitty."

"Evening Newly."

He pointed toward the stairs, "I was just on my way to see Matthew to give him this."

She extended her hand, "I'll take it Newly. I have a few things I have to discuss with him anyway."

Newly handed Kitty the gun and explained the particulars of the piece and the other arrangements he had made for Matt. He watched Kitty ascend the stairs and knew she was probably very disappointed in Matt's decision. He shook his head and headed back to his office.

Matt looked surprised when Kitty stepped into the doctor's office. She walked toward him, "_Newly says that it, uh, shoots a shade high and to the right_."

Matt gave the gun a look then placed it in his holster, "_I remember_."

"_He's having a horse saddled for you and a rifle is in the saddle boot_.

Matt nodded, "_thanks Kitty._"

Not wanting to say a final goodbye he quickly turned and walked toward the coat rack. "_How do you know you can even find him?_"

Matt put on his hat and slung his coat over his arm, "_I don't but Jake's no murderer and he's being hunted like one. There's a chance I can find him… I gotta' try._"

She nodded, "_Guess you do_." She took a deep breath, "_take care Matt…will ya?_"

He nodded, "_I will_."

As he reached the door he had to make one last attempt to convince her to stay. He hadn't prepared any speeches but he needed to try one last time to make her understand and wait for him. Afraid of the finality of her answer he turned back toward her. "_You know Kitty it's really been good seeing you again_." She smiled, "_maybe when all of this is over…and…I get back…_"

She smiled, "_I'll be here_." It took a second for her words to sink in. He quickly looked away as he wondered why he continued to be such a fool.

She watched the door close and shook her head, "_aren't I always_." She stood for a moment in the office before she attempted to leave. As she made her way back to her room she was at peace with her decision. She didn't doubt that he would return to her, she saw it in his eyes. Her only worry now was that he wouldn't be killed.

It had been a week of sleepless nights and long, lonely days. In the evenings she would sit with Newly, Hannah, and Dr. Maguire but the saloon didn't mean much anymore since Matt would not be walking through the batwing doors like he used to. Toward the end of the week she received a telegram from John. She sat on the bed and with a quick swipe of a letter opener removed the message from its envelope.

Received your telegram **STOP** We are doing fine **STOP** Children miss you **STOP** So do I **STOP** Be careful **STOP** John

She ran her fingers over the parchment and smiled. John was still playing husband and father and she was sure tongues were wagging throughout town wondering why she was waiting for her former lover to return while her husband and children waited patiently back home. She stood and walked over to the window and stared through the lace curtain to the alley below. As much as she promised to be there when Matt returned she knew she couldn't wait forever. She was certain that he would search for Jake for as long as it took to find him without giving any thought to how long she was waiting back in Dodge. She walked across the room and lay down on the bed clutching the piece of paper wanting desperately to prolong the inevitable. She missed the children dearly and she knew she would have to leave soon with or without Matt. She turned on her side and ran her hand along the vacant space on the bed. Even though her plans were again ruined she took comfort in the one loving morning she spent in his arms.

Kitty walked through the batwing doors of the Long Branch returning from the stage depot. Hannah was sitting at the back table of the saloon reading when Kitty sat down next to her. "Day after tomorrow."

Hannah looked up, "you're leaving?"

Kitty nodded, "afternoon train."

Hannah looked puzzled, "I'm a little surprised, thought you and Matt had some things to talk over."

Ned brought Kitty a beer, "thanks Ned," she took a sip, "we do but my family needs me Hannah, I have to get back."

Hannah nodded, "I don't mind telling you I'm gonna' miss ya, that's for sure. It was nice havin' another woman to talk to."

Kitty smiled, "I know what you mean. I could have used one myself way back when."

Hannah reached over and placed her hand on Kitty's arm. "You're a very fortunate woman Kitty having such a wonderful family. I'm glad you decided not to waste any more time waiting for Matt."

Kitty nodded, "I'm going to go upstairs and lie down for awhile. Maybe I'll see you later." Hannah nodded and watched as Kitty began her ascent to the second floor.

Kitty stood peering over the batwing doors in the hope that she would see Matt riding down Front Street. It was her last night in Dodge and although Hannah had the letter for Matt she had written she couldn't be certain that her words alone would be enough to make him want to come home. Hannah returned from her office with a bottle of Napoleon brandy and called out to Kitty. "Since it's your last night here, let's have a toast to your safe return."

Kitty turned and smiled, "I'd like that."

Hannah poured them both a drink and then touched Kitty's glass with hers. The two women took a sip and then sat in silence. Kitty kept a watchful eye on the door as Hannah kept a watchful eye on her. "Hopin' Matt will return before you leave?"

She nodded, "I've said it all in the letter Hannah but I wish I could see him one last time."

"It might be asking a lot of him to return to Dodge when he'll be very close to home trackin' his friend, I'm thinkin'."

Kitty nodded, "you're probably right. Too many years between us," she took a sip of her drink, "I guess it's pretty silly of me to think he'd make an effort to return."

Hannah looked around the room, "well, it doesn't look like I'm getting rich tonight so why don't we close up and get a good night's rest." Kitty nodded and began to place the chairs up on the tables. She knew she would toss and turn all night anticipating his footsteps on the stairs. The last remaining chore before she could begin her nightly vigil was locking the front door. As she approached the batwing doors they opened inward and when she looked up she stared into the face of evil incarnate.


	36. Way Down Yonder In New Orleans

Newly hoped he remembered it right. Matt had told him that he had spent the last twelve years in a cabin due north some thirty miles from where he and Newly had gone hunting in Colorado many years ago. That was the only reference point he had as he urgently searched the countryside for Matt. He knew the longer it took to find Matt the more danger Kitty would be in and that thought lay heavy on his mind. Newly pulled his coat collar up around his neck as a light snow began to fall and the wind whistled through the pines. He shook his head as he wondered how Matt could find the cold and desolation of the mountains preferable to being with his family.

Matt stayed long enough to help Little Doe and Bright Water laid Jake to rest. His left arm was beginning to stiffen from the bullet wound and the pain was a further reminder of the chance he took. As he watched the two Indian women grieve he thought of Kitty and the effect his death would have had on her and so thankful luck was still on his side. Little Doe wanted him to stay a few days until his arm healed properly but he needed to get back to Dodge. As it was he made Kitty wait long enough and returning to her was his only priority. He said his goodbyes and wearily began his journey home. There were a few times on the ride back that he thought about Mannon and what it would be like to face him again. There was no doubt in Matt's mind that he would be coming after him with a vengeance and that rage could be just the edge Matt needed to defeat him. He decided to stop at the cabin and pick up his things and hoped no one would be there to offer any resistance to his leaving.

Newly found a few abandoned cabins along the route and was beginning to think he may have misunderstood. His hope was fading fast when he saw another cabin in the distance. At first glance this cabin seemed to be as empty as all the others but he dismounted anyway and took a look around. He walked toward the back and found a bag sitting in the corner of a room. He smiled when he saw the pictures of Kitty, Matthew, and Katie. He went outside and put them in his saddle bags and went back into the cabin to wait. He grabbed a cord of wood and walked over to the hearth when he heard a horse approaching and a bellowing voice demanding that he come out with his hands up. He swallowed hard not wanting to tell Matt the news so he slowly approached the front door and walked out onto the porch. He sensed Matt was not surprised when he mentioned Mannon's name but the fact that Kitty was being held by this madman was almost Matt's undoing. He holstered his gun, turned his horse quickly, and spurred him into a gallop. Newly ran toward his mount, slung the rifle in the boot, and made chase.

Mannon watched as Matt dismounted and walked into the Long Branch. While his eyes were focused on the door of the saloon, Kitty tried to grab his gun but Mannon was quick to notice. He grabbed her, slung her to her knees, and demanded she buckle his gun belt. She studied his face and when he raised his arms brimming with confidence she quickly slung the belt out the window. He picked her up and slapped her across the face propelling her onto the bed. Mannon quickly returned to the window but Matt was gone. In a thundering crash the door flew open and Matt's fist drove Mannon out the front window of the Dodge House. As the townspeople gathered to see Mannon pick himself up out of the dirt he eyed his gun some ten feet away.

Kitty ran to the window and watched the scene unfurl below her. She watched as Mannon slowly made his way to the other side of the street carefully lowering his hands to tie the holster to his leg. She closed her eyes in silent prayer then she heard the gunshots ring out. She slowly opened them as Matt fired for the second time and Mannon's body finally fell to the dirt. She let out a long deep breath when she saw Matt walking toward the body. Her eyes were brimming with tears when Matt turned and looked up at her in the window. Her mind was racing with a feeling of elation but mostly relief that their nightmare was finally over. Matt was still alive and now they could go home and finally be a family again. She was about to run to him when he inexplicably turned and walked away disappearing into the night. She was shocked and stood for a few moments frozen in place. Hannah watched Matt walk past her then she made her way to the Dodge House as Kitty was making her way down the stairs. She met Kitty in the lobby of the hotel and put her arm around her waist. "Are you all right Kitty?" Kitty nodded, "come on let me help you up to your room." Kitty barely had enough energy to move and leaned on Hannah until they reached her room. She sat Kitty on the bed and walked over to pour her a drink. "Here, take a sip, it'll make you feel better." Kitty stared blankly at the wall and followed Hannah's request. "I'm here to listen if you want to talk."

Kitty looked up and smiled, "thanks Hannah I do appreciate it but I think I'd rather be alone. Anyway I have a few things to pack."

Hannah nodded, "all right but if you need anything you just come knocking on my door no matter what the time…you hear?"

Kitty nodded, "I hear…and thank you."

Hannah hugged her friend, "see you tomorrow morning then?" Kitty nodded as she watched Hannah leave the room. She slipped into her nightgown, finished packing, and climbed into bed. There was no need to lose any sleep…he would not be coming up the back staircase to her room tonight.

Newly and Hannah waited with Kitty for the train to take her home. After his horse broke down he caught the stage and was surprised to hear that Matt had walked away from Kitty after the showdown. As he looked over at his good friend he shook his head unable to understand Matt's behavior. Not many words were exchanged between the three as they waited but Kitty was appreciative of their support. The train slowly moved into the station and Kitty turned to say her goodbyes. As she made her way to the train Newly called after her. She turned and noticed that he was holding something in his hand. "I almost forgot I found these in Matthew's bag. I took them in case he didn't make it. I thought you might want to know that he really hadn't forgotten you or the children. I thought that might be of some comfort."

Kitty opened the billfold and smiled, "thanks Newly for everything."

He tipped his hat, "sure Miss Kitty."

She pointed at him, "and don't be a stranger, get down to see us soon…OK?"

He smiled and nodded, "I sure will." Kitty turned as Newly helped her onto the train and watched as she settled into her seat. A lone figure stood at the end of the platform and watched the three friends say goodbye. As the train slowly chugged out of the station Newly and Hannah made their way back to the center of town but the man in the shadows stayed until the train had disappeared from view.

Kitty stared at the vast landscape whizzing by her eyes. Each stop was another reminder of how very long a ride home this was and one she was not looking forward to. It had been over an hour before she realized that she still held the photos Newly had given her. She took a deep breath and opened her reticule when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She quickly looked up, "everything all right Miss Kitty?"

She tried hard to smile as she nodded, "I'm fine, Henry."

"They told me that the Marshal finally killed that there Mannon fella'. Guess that puts your mind at ease, huh? I say you were pretty lucky he was in town."

She rolled her eyes, "oh, very lucky."

"I suppose it was good seein' him again after all these years." He shook his head, "personally I'll never understand how a man so civilized could take to a life like that." He paused a moment, "don't mind tellin' you that I thought you and the Marshal made a strikin' couple." He smiled, "but your still a beautiful woman Miss Kitty," he put his hand on her shoulder, "hope you don't mind me sayin' so."

She blushed slightly, "thank you Henry, it's nice of you to say."

He waved his hand, "anyway, you have a beautiful family and Doctor Chapman is a very lucky man."

She looked down, "we're all lucky to have each other Henry."

He nodded, "ain't that the truth," He laid his hand on Kitty's back, "you let me know if there is anything I can get you...all right?"

She nodded, "sure will…thank you." He turned and made his way into the next car. She finished putting the photos into her reticule and took a deep breath. She was a very lucky woman…she had a family to go home to.

John made his descent to the first floor and walked over to the sofa. After making sure the children were in bed he was going to settle in and relax after a very long day. He lit his pipe and picked up the book he started the day Kitty left. He closed the book a moment, tugged on his pipe, and thought back to when the children were little. The days of reading stories in the evening were now replaced by homework and extracurricular activities. He had enjoyed his time playing father but shortly that role would be coming to an end. Their parents would be home in a couple of days and the children would no longer be his. That thought always made him melancholy but he knew it was important for Matt and the children to build a bonding relationship. The transition would be hard on him for all that was left now was the remembrances of what it was like to be loved. He took a deep breath and went back to reading when the front door opened. Dreading the inevitably happy scene before him he slowly looked up. He smiled when he saw Kitty enter the foyer followed by the coachman. After he put down the last of Kitty's bags she handed him a gratuity then closed the door behind him. John kept his eyes on the door and a look of puzzlement ran across his face. Kitty turned slowly and smiled weakly. John stood and as she came closer saw the bruises on her face. He quickly ran to her and gently held her face in his hand, "Kitty, are you all right…what happened?"

She looked down as he glanced at the front door. "Where's Matt? Did he do this to you?"

She looked up shocked that he could think that about Matt, "heavens no John."

He looked into his eyes, "then where is he?"

As she answered she burst into tears and leaned her body against his, "I don't know John."

He put his arm around her waist, "come on, let's sit down over here." They sat on the sofa and she held him tight as she sobbed. He rocked her and tried his best to calm her down as he stroked her back, "I heard from Festus. I told him that Matt was found so he's on his way home. I haven't heard anything from Frank yet." Eventually she began to settle down and John whispered. "Honey, the last thing I heard was that Matt was doing fine. What happened and why do you have these bruises on your face?"

She straightened up and looked into his eyes. She took a deep breath, "Matt was doing much better and we had planned to come home. I was bringing him his meal one day and he was coming down the steps of the doctor's office. I had promised to buy him a beer so off we went to the Long Branch." She smiled, "it was like old times John, me behind the bar and Matt standing in front of it. I was the happiest I had been in twelve years," she looked down and whispered, "foolishly my mind began to dream about Matt and I spending the night in our old room and…"

"And what?"

Kitty looked up, "well…some soldier boy came in and mentioned that he was tracking down a man who killed a prison warden who happened to be a former Army officer. When he said the name Jake Flagg Matt turned quickly and walked over to where Newly and this soldier were standing. Jake was an old friend of Matt's and he was convinced that the Army had the wrong man."

John looked confused, "so Matt decided he was going to find him first?"

Kitty nodded, "he took off that night."

"That still doesn't explain your bruises."

Kitty looked down, "I was so hurt by him that I told Matt that I was returning home. I was packing when I saw him from across the alley." She took a deep breath as she looked up at him, "oh, John, I know it wasn't an easy decision for Matt and the more I thought about it the more I decided that I needed to stay. I figured he wouldn't be taking too many chances if he knew I was waiting."

He gently touched her face, "but the bruises?"

"I was closing up one night and Mannon appeared at the door of the Long Branch."

John whispered, "is that the man who…who…raped you?"

Kitty nodded, "yes, and beat me. He waited for a couple of days and when Matt didn't return," she pointed to her face, "he beat me again and told Newly to find Matt and bring him back."

"Did Newly find him?"

Kitty nodded, "Matt and Newly had gone hunting one year and they stayed not too far away from where Matt had spent the last twelve years." She rolled her eyes, "thankfully Matt and he had talked about that or I don't know what would have happened."

"Then what?"

"Mannon called me to his room one night wanting to walk down memory lane. He was still so angry that I had distracted him enough years ago that he lost to Matt. Eventually we heard horse's hooves and although I couldn't see down to the street Mannon said that Matt was there. I tried to get his gun but he pulled me down and wanted me to buckle his belt." She shook her head, "he was so confident that he was going to gun Matt down that I was able to grab the belt and toss it out the window. It gave Matt enough time to get up to the room and punch Mannon hard enough that he fell to the street. Matt was able to outdraw him..." Her eyes started to water.

"Matt wasn't hurt…was he?"

She shook her head, "oh, no, he's fine."

"Then where is he?"

"John, I was so relieved that Matt was alive that I just stood there. Matt threw Mannon's gun to the side and then he turned to look up at me. He just stared at me with this blank look on his face, as if he was looking right through me, and then he walked down Front Street and disappeared into the night."

John sat stunned for a moment not knowing what to say. For more than twelve years he encouraged Kitty to not give up on finding Matt. As he sat staring into her eyes now he was angry. She had so much hope for the future when she left for Dodge but now she knew for certain that the man who she had loved forever didn't love her. John wished there was something he could do to take the pain away then he noticed a single tear slowly running down her cheek. Her lip quivering she grabbed John and hugged him, "I made love to him John," the tears and the sobbing increasing with every word, "how could he love me…then leave me?"

John rubbed her back and held her tight, "I don't know Kitty, I just don't know." He rocked her and laid gentle kisses on her hair for awhile hoping to ease her pain. "Shh…it's going to be all right Kitty…it's going to be all right."

She looked up at him, "what am I going to tell the children John?"

He shrugged, "you'll have to tell them the truth. It seems to me Matt had his chance to come home and he didn't take it. We can't keep giving them hope that their father will be a part of their lives." He took a deep breath, "truthfully Kitty, I don't think they ever expected him to be anyway. I hate to say it but I think you were the only one who held on to that hope."

She looked down, "I know you're right John. It doesn't feel very good to know you were a fool."

He ran his fingers down her face, "you are not a fool and I don't want to hear you say that ever again. From where I sit Matt's the fool for leaving one of the most remarkable women I have ever known."

She smiled and as she stared into his eyes she realized that she was looking at one of the most extraordinary men she had ever known and he deserved better. She stood and extended her hand for him to take. He stood and took her hand and walked with her to the door. He took her by the shoulders and kissed her cheek, "I'm sure you're exhausted, I'll see you tomorrow." She shook her head, took his hand, and made her way to the stairs. John swallowed hard as he followed her to the first step. He let go of her hand and looked up the stairs then back at Kitty. She nodded as he put his arm around her waist and they continued their ascent.

With her head resting on John's shoulder Kitty snored lightly as sleep was beginning to take her. After her ordeal he was thankful that she was finally able to get some rest. He smiled as he stroked her hair and kissed her forehead happy that she could surrender to the comfort of his arms. She was still such a beautiful woman and how any man could turn his back on her was beyond his comprehension. As much as he wanted to stay he knew it would be best if he left and hoped she would forgive him when she woke. He gently tried to move her arms, tightly wrapped around his chest, when she began to stir. She slowly opened her eyes, "John, where are you going?"

"I was going home, now go back to sleep."

She hugged him tighter, "you can stay, you know."

He brushed the hair out of her eyes, "I know I can but it's just that…well…I don't want the children to find me in your bed in the morning."

She smiled, "my children would love to find you in my bed."

He ran his fingers through her hair, "be that as it may I just don't want to send the wrong message, especially to Katie."

She smiled, "ever the southern gentlemen."

"Well...say what you will I just don't think it's proper until we're…"

She poked her head up, "until we're what?"

He ran his fingers down her face, "Kitty, I think you know how much I love you; at least I hope you know. I have nothing but honorable intentions," he smiled, "I just want you to know that one day I hope I can convince you to marry me."

Her eyes began to water, "oh John. I just can't…"

He placed his fingers over her lips, "Kitty, I don't expect an answer now. I know you need some time to sort out your feelings. I just want you to know that there is one man in your life that is not going anywhere and that he would be the happiest man on earth if the woman that he holds in his arms would consent to be his wife one day." A tear found its way down her cheek, "I love you Kitty," he kissed her, "now I think I better make my way home." She grabbed him into a passionate kiss. He stared at her for a moment, "now I know I better head on home." As she watched John's shadowy figure leave the room she smiled feeling better about the future.

Kitty had a surprisingly restful sleep after John left. She sat up against the headboard and stretched as last evening ran through her mind. She smiled as she made her way into her changing room. Moments later she was standing at the stove making breakfast when she heard someone coming down the back stairs. Matthew was surprised to find his mother in the kitchen. "Ma, you're back."

She smiled, "nice of you to notice."

He looked back toward the stairs, "is Dad…"

Kitty looked down, "I'm afraid your father is not with me."

Matthew moved closer and then he saw her face, anger evident in his voice, "did he do that to you?"

Kitty was shocked, "oh…heavens no Matthew. Your father would never do something like that to me."

The rest of the children slowly followed Matthew into the kitchen. Katie ran to her mother and hugged her, "oh Mom, I'm glad you're home." She looked toward the stairs, "is Daddy here?"

She looked back at Kitty, "what happened to your face Mom?"

Matthew was still not convinced, "I think Dad did it."

Kitty took a deep breath, "all right children please sit down at the table and I'll tell you about my trip." With undivided attention Kitty began, "I will begin by saying that your father survived his injury and is alive and well."

"Then where is he Mom? Is he going to come home later?"

Kitty shook her head, "I don't know Katie."

"I told you he didn't love us." Matthew folded his arms across his chest as Kitty glared at him.

Katie turned to him, "that's not true Matthew," she turned to Kitty, "tell him Mom, tell him that's not true." Kitty wasn't sure what to say. "You did tell him about us…didn't you Mom?"

She smiled, "of course I did and he was very proud of all of you. He could hardly wait to come home and see how you had grown."

"Then he'd be here if he was so interested."

Kitty could see that Matthew was going to be a hard sell. "Just before we were to come home your father found out that a friend of his was in trouble so he went to help him."

Matthew snickered, "another friend."

Kitty was trying to remain calm, "Matthew I would appreciate it if you would let me finish before you made any more comments. You'll have enough time to have your say."

He lowered his head, "yes, Ma."

"While he was gone an outlaw had come to town looking for your father and me. He wanted to kill us because your father had put him in prison many years before. That's why I have the bruises on my face."

Katie was wide eyed, "he beat you Mom?"

"Well…let's just say he slapped me a few times. I got a few good shots in too."

"I thought outlaws were only in books Mommy."

Kitty shook her head, "They are very real Russell, I'm afraid. Your father spent a lifetime bringing them to justice."

"Wow…that's what our father did? He must have been really special."

Kitty nodded, "He was Joseph, the best there was."

Katie was intrigued, "so Mom, what happened after the bad man slapped you?"

"He made your Uncle Newly go after your father and bring him back to Dodge. He wanted to kill your father in a draw."

Katie was puzzled, "A draw?"

Russell was ready with an explanation, "yeah, that's when two men face each other and draw their guns from their holsters. I've read about that, just didn't think my father could do that though."

"He didn't like to do that Russell but sometimes it was very necessary."

"But Mom, Daddy didn't lose to this outlaw…did he?"

Kitty shook her head, "no Katie, he didn't."

Katie smiled very proud of her father, "he wasn't wounded or anything…was he?"

Kitty again shook her head, "no Katie, he wasn't."

She looked puzzled, "then why wasn't he on the train with you?"

Kitty paused a moment, "Katie, I think your father needed some time alone to think. Whenever he was involved in a gun battle like that it bothered him for awhile."

With hope in her eyes Katie looked up at Kitty, "then he'll probably be home right after he finishes thinking...right Mom?"

Kitty took a deep breath, "Katie, I wish I could say that your father will be home in a few days but it's not that simple. I'm afraid I've been giving all of you false hope that one day your father would be coming home. I can't say for sure any more. I think we have to go on with our lives and not think about your father returning. I'm not saying that he never will but chances are he won't."

They all stared at Kitty in silence then Matthew stood, "no big deal, I knew years ago that our father didn't love us." John was coming through the front door as Matthew finished his sentence. "We've gotten along all these years without him, we really don't need him." As he turned to leave he brushed past John. He looked over at Kitty and then turned to follow Matthew.

He found Matthew sitting on the top step of the porch, head resting on his arms that were slung across his knees. John sat down next to him, "are you all right Matthew?"

"Fine!"

"I guess your mother told you about her trip?" He nodded. "I suppose not seeing your father here was a bit of a surprise."

He shook his head, "I expected it."

"Then I'd have to say you were the only one."

Matthew lifted his head off his arms and looked at John. "You really thought my father was coming home with my mother?"

John nodded, "I have to say I thought he would."

Matthew looked puzzled, "why would you even think that?

John shrugged, "I guess because I knew your parents in Dodge and then here for awhile and I observed how much they loved each other. Given a second chance I thought for sure your father would have taken it."

Matthew chuckled, "they certainly had you fooled…at least my father did anyway."

John shook his head, "no, I don't think so. No matter where your father is now I think he still loves your mother very much."

Matthew was still not convinced, "Uncle John, how would you know that?"

"Because I know, that's all."

Matthew eyed his uncle, "because you love my mother?"

John smiled, "it wouldn't do much good to deny it." He placed his hand on Matthew's shoulder, "son, your mother has been through a lot these past couple of months and I think we have to remember that. Now, whatever your mother needs or wants to do I'm going to support that one hundred percent. What we have to keep in mind is that your mother loved your father very much and we have to be very sensitive about those feelings…understand?"

Matthew nodded, "I don't know why she just can't forget him."

John patted Matthew on the back, "you'll find out one day Matthew."

Matthew paused for a moment as he looked at John, "are you going to ask my Mom to marry you?"

John looked out toward the road, "it's not that easy."

"But you said you loved my Mom and…"

John looked back at Matthew, "your father is not dead Matthew and there is always the possibility that he could come home. As much as I wish things could be different, they're not." He paused, "when your mother decides the time is right…then it will be right."

Matthew nodded, "she's just wasting her time always thinking about him," he looked at John, "but I guess it's her choice. I just wish she could be happy."

"She is Matthew; she finds happiness in you and your sister and brothers." John looked straight ahead and paused a moment, "I think we've made a nice life for ourselves here and whether your father comes home or not I think we'll be all right."

Matthew smiled, "I think so too…thanks Uncle John."

He leaned over and hugged John and John patted his back, "now, what do you say we go back inside and finish our breakfast?"

Kitty smiled when she saw John walk back in the kitchen with Matthew. "Ma, I'll finish up here, why don't you and Uncle John sit down at the table." John took his place at the head of the table and Kitty sat next to him. She reached over and took his hand and he held it tight. They stared into each other's eyes and smiled. Matthew watched the two adults and smiled also. He didn't know how his parents looked when they were together but from his vantage point his uncle and mother looked pretty much in love.

With the house to herself Kitty finished clearing the breakfast table. She hummed as she washed the dishes and there was a bounce in her step. Maggie was surprised to find Kitty home. "Oh…welcome home Miss Kitty." She gave her a big hug then looked toward the back stairs, "I guess by your chipper mood it means Matt is home."

Kitty turned serious as she shook her head, "no, he's not Maggie."

Maggie looked puzzled, "you sounded too happy for him to be dead."

Kitty nodded, "he just decided not to come home with me." Kitty moved the chair so Maggie could sit and she sat down next to her.

Maggie grabbed Kitty's arm, "I'm so sorry Miss Kitty…what happened?"

Kitty related the story and Maggie took a deep breath, "so that's why your face is bruised." Kitty nodded, "I just can't believe Matt would walk away like that after all you went through to be with him."

"Maggie, maybe it's for the best."

"What do you mean?"

"I had a lot of time to think on the train and I just can't keep spending all of my time wishing things could be different. If my going to Dodge wasn't proof enough how much I still love him then I don't know what else I can do." She took a deep breath, "no, Maggie, you were right. I have to start thinking about life without Matt."

She reached over again and took Kitty's arm, "I'm so sorry Miss Kitty. I know that must have been a very hard decision for you to make."

Kitty shook her head, "Maggie, when I came home I was pretty devastated and truthfully at my lowest point since the day Matt had left but then I looked over at John with his smiling face and welcoming arms and eventually I began to feel better about the future."

Maggie smiled, "he's a good man Miss Kitty."

Kitty nodded, "I'm beginning to realize that." She smiled, "he talked about us being married one day..." Kitty waved her hand, "oh, I don't know Maggie."

Maggie looked confused, "what don't you know?"

Kitty chuckled, "imagine at my age marrying again."

Maggie smiled, "he loves you and your children Miss Kitty, that's plain to see." She stared at her for a moment, "and you certainly sounded very happy this morning."

Kitty shrugged, "I guess it's always nice to know that someone loves you."

Maggie smiled again, "oh, I think it goes much deeper than that."

Kitty looked puzzled, "what do you mean?"

"I think for the first time you're opening up to the notion of falling in love with Dr. John."

Kitty looked down, "when I'm with him Maggie I am happy but then…"

"But then what?"

"I think about Matt and I feel as if I'm…well…betraying him somehow and then I can't think of anything else." She took a deep breath, "there are days I wish I could let go of the past and let my heart love again but Matt is always there. I don't know if that is ever going to change."

"You keep remembering Matt walking away from you in Dodge and I think you'll find it easier to decide." She patted Kitty's arm, "I'm going to the store do you need anything?"

Kitty shook her head, "no, thank you Maggie."

Maggie stood, "then I'll see you later for dinner." Kitty watched Maggie leave the room and then she smiled and went back to cleaning the kitchen.

There were a few noticeable changes since the last time he was there. As he walked down the train steps he wondered if he still belonged. He sat on one of the benches for awhile and took in the scene before him. He couldn't decide whether he should go to _**Russell's **_or straight to the house. Having made his decision he left the depot.

Kitty was enjoying the quiet as she read the day's newspaper. Sipping on a cup of coffee she was easing into life in New Orleans again. She smiled when she thought about the night before and how nice it was to have a man hold her while she slept. Her reverie was broken by a knock at the door. She laid the newspaper on the table and walked into the foyer. She opened the door, "I don't believe it…I never thought I'd see you again!" She quickly wrapped her arms around him. Festus smiled as he pulled her closer. "It is so good to see you again Festus. Now, put your bag over here, and come on inside." He obediently laid his bag down in the foyer and with her arms securely around his they walked to the sofa.

He looked around the room, "Dr. Chapman tolt me that ya found ol' Matthew. He said that he was hurt some."

Kitty nodded, "yes, he was stabbed pretty bad."

"He be all right now Miss Kitty?"

She waved her hand, "oh, sure, he's fine. You know him Festus he survives against all odds."

"Who was it that be stabbin' him?"

She shook her head, "someone who broke out of prison and came after him."

Festus nodded, "guessin' there be a lot of them." He looked more closely at her, "somethin' happen to ya Miss Kitty?"

She nodded, "a little present from Mannon."

"Mannon?"

She nodded again, "he was released from prison and came straight to Dodge looking for Matt and me. Matt went out trying to save a friend and Mannon found me in the Long Branch." She touched her face, "he got a little impatient waiting for Matt."

Festus was hesitant, "he…I mean…Matthew…he isn't…"

Kitty smiled, "he killed him this time Festus."

Festus shook his head, "I plumb thought he had the last time." He looked toward the steps, "sleepin' a little late…is he?"

Kitty looked down, "I don't know where he is Festus."

He looked puzzled, "he didn't come on home wit' ya?" She shook her head, "that there knot head…I wish I'd 'er found him…might be able to talk some sense inta him."

Kitty smiled, "you almost did." Festus looked confused, "Matt told me that you came across an Indian woman at a cabin. He was staying there, she was afraid that you were someone who was out to kill him."

He slapped his thigh, "I'd knowd it! She be lookin' like she wanted to tell me somethin'. I shoulda' stayed and played out my hunch." A very pregnant Little Fawn crossed his mind and he wasn't sure if it would be proper to tell Kitty that he might know the reason Matt wasn't home.

He stared at her for a moment, "Festus, are you all right?"

He put his head down, "yes ma'am it's just that…," he looked back up, "ya knowd ma'am that I'd never want ta do anythin' ta hurt ya but somethin' I'm 'bout to tell ya might just do that."

Kitty looked puzzled, "tell me what Festus?"

He shook his head, "it's not easy fer me to tell ya this Miss Kitty but I be thinkin' Matthew might have a youngin' another place but here."

"What?"

He nodded, "that there Indian shemale was expectin' a youngin'. Might be why ol' Matthew didn't come home wit' ya."

Kitty smiled, "Little Fawn was pregnant all right but the father wasn't Matt, it was her husband's Running Fox. Matt told me all about them."

Festus breathed out a sigh of relief, "I'm mighty happy to hear that." He furrowed his brow, "then why didn't Matthew come on home wit' ya?"

She shook her head, "I wish I had the answer Festus. I guess he doesn't love me like I thought he did."

Festus didn't know what to say so he reached over and patted her hand. His eyes scanned the room, "mighty quiet taday."

"Oh, the children are off with their friends and John is down at the hospital."

"Dr. Chapman been a big help ta ya...has he?"

Kitty smiled, "I don't know what I would have done without him."

Festus nodded, "he's a good man Miss Kitty. I think ya knowd I'd didn't take ta him much when he first came ta Dodge but afta' ya come ta knowd a person ya see things ya didn't see afore."

She raised her eyebrows, "I know what you mean Festus."

"I'd thought fer sure Maggie and ol' Doc be runnin' round here. Where they at?"

Kitty had dreaded this day since they laid Doc to rest. She treaded carefully, "well…you see Festus…Maggie and Doc bought their own house."

Festus shot up, "I'd knowd it! Fer years I tolt that there ol' skinflint that I knowd he have money but he'd make that face he'd always make and tolt me I didn't have a lick of sense. Fiddle Miss Kitty I knowd I wasn't crazy… I knowd Doc had money."

"Yeah…well…"

"And I betcha' it's a big ol' house and he and Maggie don't even knowd what ta do wit' it."

"Festus I think you…"

"Yer right 'bout that Miss Kitty. I can hardly wait ta see what the money he cheated his patients out of brought fer the ole scudder."

"Festus, I think you better sit down."

"Not now Miss Kitty I wanna' get over to ol' Doc's and harangue him 'bout all the money he has."

"Festus, if I can just have a word with you for a moment."

He waved his hand, "oh don't ya go worryin' that I might say somethin' that might offend ol' Doc. Now, ifn ya can tell me where he's at…"

"Festus, if you will just sit down…"

"Don't got no time Miss Kitty, ya just tell me where he be livin'…"

Kitty shouted, "he isn't Festus." He looked confused as Kitty whispered, "Doc died just before I went to Dodge."

Festus stood still for a moment then slowly sat next to Kitty eyes blinking rapidly trying to hold back the tears. "How'd it happen?"

Kitty shrugged, "he died in his sleep. Maggie tried to wake him…"

Festus nodded and whispered, "I tolt him a million times that he needed to take better care of hisself…but he wouldn't listen ta me…ornery ole scudder."

Kitty put her hand on his shoulder, "are you going to be all right?"

He sniffled slightly as he nodded, "I'll be all right Miss Kitty. I guess there be no reason to go see the house now."

Kitty smiled, "I'm sure Maggie would love to see you."

He nodded, "I'll doer one day but I'd like ta go see ol' Doc first."

"He's buried at Lafayette Cemetery down on Washington. I can have a coach take you there if you like."

Festus stood, "that's all right Miss Kitty. I need ta take a little walk first. I'll see ya directly." Kitty stood and followed him to the front door. As he opened the door he turned back to Kitty, "it just don't seem the same anymore…does it Miss Kitty?" She shook her head then kissed him on the cheek and hugged him. She watched him walk down the pathway to the road then closed the door.

Kitty walked back to the sofa and picked up the paper off the table. She picked up her glasses and thought about Festus. He was right, so much had changed and the two most important men in her life were gone. She sighed deep in thought when John walked into the foyer. He noticed the carpetbag on the floor and his heart sank. Afraid he might be walking into a very intimate moment he thought about leaving but something made him stay. He closed the door and noticed Kitty sitting staring blankly in space. He slowly walked in her direction, "what has you so deep in thought this beautiful sunny Saturday?"

His words broke her from her trance, "hmm?"

"I was just commenting on your faraway look."

Kitty smiled and took his hand, "I guess I was."

"Something wrong Kitty?"

She shook her head and stroked his face, "no, now that you're here." He looked confused, "what's the matter John; you think I can't miss you every now and again."

He smiled, "it's not that it's just that I saw the carpetbag in the foyer and I thought…"

"That Matt was home?" He nodded, "no, but Festus is." She stood, "I had to tell him that Doc had died. That was so hard for me John."

John put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, "I know that must have been. I'm sorry I wasn't here."

She cupped his face in her hands, "but you're here now and that is all that matters." They stared into each other's eyes and John swore there was a different look in them now. She lightly brushed her lips against his and he gently responded. They teased each other until their bodies were griped in a passionate embrace. John quickly pulled away hoping she didn't feel his need for her. She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist as she laid her head against his back. "It's all right John."

He laid his arms over hers, "Kitty, it's not all right. I wish it could be but it's not. I want you more than I have ever wanted another woman in my life." He began to run his hands over her arms, "After Jane, I was hurt so deeply that I swore I wouldn't get close again to any woman but then I came to Dodge and there you were. You were a reoccurring dream of mine and there were days I would daydream about our life together but then I found out that you were very much in love with Matt." He shook his head, "many a night I would have given anything for you to look at me like you looked at him."

She removed her arms from around him and stood in front of him. "I'm looking at you now John." She smiled, "there is no one else."

He stood for a moment staring at her, "You don't know how much I wish that to be true."

She smiled, "I could prove it to you if you have some time."

She kissed him, "Kitty, I don't know…"

"I do know John. It took me too many years and a final humiliation by Matt to snap me out of this fantasy I've been living in. I realized something in Dodge…that everyone is more important to him than me. His sense of duty to near strangers is stronger than his love for me." She stroked his face, "you have never wavered in the love you feel for me John and you have always been there. You spent so much time and money in trying to find Matt and almost lost your life because of it. You've been a very good father to my children when they needed one the most and you have been the most loving and kindest man that any woman could ever ask for. No, John, I know what I should have known years ago and I think sometime in the future you might have to find a way to make an honest woman out of me." John was stunned and words were not coming very easily. "I can't believe I left you speechless." She kissed him, "maybe you would like to communicate in a non-verbal way." She kissed him again and ran her fingers through his hair.

He gently took her face in his hands and kissed her tenderly, "oh, Kitty, I love you so."

She smiled, "I know you do John. Now, why don't we go upstairs? I think we have a few things to discuss." He smiled as he drew her into a passionate kiss.

The door flung opened and the two lovers jumped. "Ma, do you know who I just saw?" They both tried to catch their breaths as Matthew stared, "oh, sorry Ma, I didn't mean to interrupt you and Uncle John."

Kitty waved her hand, "that's all right Matthew."

"Uncle Festus…he's back Ma!"

Kitty smiled, "I've already seen him Matthew."

"Isn't that great news?"

"It really is but next time you don't need to startle us half to death in the telling."

Matthew put his head down, "I said I was sorry Ma."

She pushed the hair off his face, "I know you did."

John excused himself, "Kitty, I need to go back to the hospital for a little while but I'll see you later for dinner."

She smiled, "I'd like that." He kissed her and left.

Matthew turned to his mother, "I hope I didn't break up anything important Ma."

She smiled, "nothing important."

"I mean I'd hate it if Uncle John was gonna' ask you to marry him or something and I stopped that from happening."

Kitty took her son by his shoulders. "Matthew, your uncle is a very romantic man. I'm sure if he had such a notion in his head he wouldn't be asking me in the middle of our foyer."

"But Ma…"

"But Ma nothing. Your uncle will always be here whether we marry or not and I don't want you to ever worry about that."

"All I was gonna' say was it would be nice to stop calling him uncle one day. He's been so much more to me than that."

"I know he's been Matthew."

"I just don't want Uncle John finding another woman like he did before because you were still waiting for my father to come home. It's OK to believe he's not coming home now Ma…really it is."

"I don't want you worrying about me or your uncle. We'll figure this out one day, I promise."

Matthew looked at his mother with a pleading face, "don't wait too long now Ma…promise."

She smiled, "I promise."

"OK," he quickly ran to the door, "I'll be back for dinner."

"Wait, where are you going?"

Matthew stopped short and turned to Kitty, "Tommy got a new bike that he wants to show me but I'll be home for dinner." In a second he was gone and Kitty shook her head as she headed back toward the sofa to finish reading the paper.

Festus walked along the road still shaking his head over how big Matthew had grown. Without a doubt it was plain to see that was Matt Dillon's son. With spurs jangling, he continued on his way to the cemetery still in shock over Doc's passing. He walked through rows of headstones until he came upon his friend. He stood staring at the stone slab for awhile then he took a deep breath. "I failed ya Doc, I didn't brung Matthew home like I tolt ya I would…I don't like breakin' promises 'specially ta ya and it don't make me feel none too good that I did." He fiddled with his hat, "Miss Kitty tolt me that I did find the place though but the Indian shemale tolt me he wasn't there. I had me a feelin' 'bout that there shemale that she wern't tellin' me the truth and I shoulda' stayed close to see ifn my hunch be right." He paused a moment still wondering about the child that Little Fawn was carrying. "I don't want ta be thinkin' this way Doc but that there Indian was carryin' a youngin'. Now Miss Kitty said that it be an Indian brave who be the daddy but I can't stop thinkin' that maybe that child be Matthew's and that might be why he didn't come home before or wit' Miss Kitty when he had the chance." He flailed his arms, "ah, fiddle Doc, I knowd that is the craziest idea anybody ever had and I just be a hopin' that ain't be true...that's all." He looked up and out over the horizon, "Miss Kitty tells me that ya and Miss Maggie bought yerselves a home. See Doc I knowd ya had money ya ol' skinflint and I knowd ya tellin' people ya had no money was ta fool them inta thinkin' ya had no money but I knowd Doc…I knowd it all along." Festus pointed his thumb in the direction of the house, "I'm gonna' head on over ta Miss Maggie's ta see her when I leave here. I knowd ya like that," he pointed toward the grave, "and don't ya worry now Doc I be lookin' afta her. I'll make sure she be takin' right good care of." Festus put his hands up, "not like that Doc…no…I be respectin' what ya and Miss Maggie had. I mean I just be makin' sure that she don't need nothin' and that she can keep that there home ya two had." Tears started to well in his eyes. "It wern't suppose ta be this here way Doc. We were suppose ta all be together, you, Matthew, and me." He stared at the grave, "Miss Kitty and Miss Maggie are real nice but they're shemales. I knowd I have Sam and Dr. John but it ain't like it should be." He shrugged, "I guess I can watch over Matthew's youngins but I be thinkin' Dr. John already done that. No, it ain't gonna' be the same here anymore." He wiped away the tears that were slowly running down his cheek. "I would give anythin' ifn ya could make fun of me just one more time Doc…ta just harangue me a lil' bit...I'm gonna' miss that most of all." He laid the flowers he had picked up along the way near the headstone, "rest in peace…ya ornery ole scudder." He stood, "I'll see ya tomorra' Doc." He finished wiping the remaining tears then he turned and made his way back to Kitty's.


	37. The Course Of True Love

Kitty was putting the finishing touches on the last of the Halloween decorations. She stood back for a moment to view her handiwork then went to the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee. She walked over to the big arm chair in the library and sat down to relax. It had been months since she returned from Dodge and it was only in quiet moments like these that she thought of Matt. She had finally given a life with John a chance and she was surprised to find that she was falling in love again. There was no doubt that Matt would always be somewhere in the recesses of her heart but when he walked down Front Street she realized that her undying love for him was not enough. She had to finally admit that he would have been home long ago if he really loved her with all his heart. While enjoying a few minutes of peace before the children came home from school the night before ran through her mind.

_Returning home from dinner he suggested that they sit for a minute on the porch. John waited for Kitty to get comfortable then he got down on one knee, opened the jewelry box, and held her hand. "Kitty, I know you will never love me like you've loved Matt but I love you with my whole heart and soul and I will be a good husband to you. I will always love and cherish you and the children until the day I die. Will you marry me?"_

_She softly touched his face, "oh John."_

_With his other hand he took the hand that was caressing his cheek and kissed it. "Well?"_

_Kitty's eyes began to water, "John, the past few months have been wonderful and in time I know a moment like this will mean so much to me but right now…well…I still need some time." She stroked his face, "Once I sign the papers Matt will be gone from my life...I don't know if I'm ready for that yet."_

_John looked down, "I understand." He stood and sat down next to her in the rocker._

_Kitty reached out and held his hand. "John, it's only been a couple of months since I returned from Dodge." _

_John clasped Kitty's hand, "I know you and Matt had a love that only happens once in a lifetime and I understand that. Kitty we are very good together, we always have been. I know we'll never experience the passion that you and Matt had but every couple finds what is most comfortable for them and I think we have. I just need you to know that I love you Kitty and I will for the rest of my life." John paused for a minute before he continued, "I don't need an answer now. Just think over what I've said and when you're ready, I will be too."_

_A tear slid down Kitty's cheek, "John, Matt still occupies my thoughts now and again. I don't think that it would be right to marry you if I'm still thinking about him. You do understand, don't you?"_

_John smiled, "I do, but I needed you to know how serious I am about us Kitty. I want you for my wife, not just a lover." He reached out and touched her face. "I really believe that one day you will be happy again Kitty…with me" He leaned over and kissed her."Take as much time as you need."_

_Kitty tried to convey her fear, "John, but what if…"_

_John put his finger against her lips, "If you never want to marry me then we'll just continue what we've had. I know you love me, not like Matt I admit, but I know you do and that's enough." He stroked her face, "honey, whenever you're ready, you let me know." He closed the box and handed it to her. "You keep this and when I see you wearing this ring on your finger I'll be the happiest man in the world." He stood and helped Kitty out of the rocker. "Good night Kitty." He gently brushed his lips against hers. "I'll see you tomorrow. I wouldn't want to miss seeing Katie's costume."_

_Kitty smiled, "good night John, see you tomorrow." Kitty watched as John walked down the path to the street. He turned back and both waved to each other as he then continued down the road._

She smiled as she stood to walk toward the backyard. Standing in the doorway she recalled the day when life was so perfect. Matt was statuesque in his wedding suit and she a huge seven months pregnant. She stared blankly at the spot where they promised to love each other forever so many years ago. As the memory faded she imagined what it would be like with John holding her hands and making the ultimate commitment to love, honor, and cherish. She sighed as she returned to the library with a mind deep in thought. Her quiet moment was broken by the sound of the children bustling through the front door. "I'm not going trick or treating Katie and that's final."

"Wait until I tell Mom, she'll make you."

Matthew turned, "no, she won't."

Kitty shook her head and made her way to the hallway. "Matthew, why won't you go with your sister and two brothers?"

"It's cause he doesn't want Becky to see him in a costume." Katie raised her hands under her chin and batted her eyes.

Matthew turned to Kitty, "Ma, tell her to stop."

"Katie, stop teasing your brother." Kitty pushed Matthew's hair off his forehead. "I think you need a haircut Matthew."

"Ma, can't I leave it like this?"

Katie reached up and stroked Matthew's hair, "that's cause Becky loves running her fingers through it."

Matthew turned and his eyes narrowed, "Katie, stop it with your brother. I'm not going to tell you again." Kitty pointed her finger for emphasis. "Now go on and change, your brother will go with you."

"Aw, Ma!"

"Matthew, go with them for a few blocks."

Matthew made a face, "do I have to wear a stupid costume?"

"No, you don't."

Katie yelled from the top of the stairs, "you're gonna' look stupid without one."

Kitty was beginning to lose her patience, "Katie…change…now!"

"Yes, Mom."

Mother and son walked toward the kitchen and Matthew sat down in the big arm chair waiting for his siblings to return. Kitty poured another cup of coffee as she looked over at Matthew patiently waiting. He was growing up to be a fine young man and Matt would be so proud of him. As she sipped the coffee it angered her that Matt would deprive his children the opportunity to know their father. Matthew was tapping on the chair with his fingers as he looked over at Kitty. "What's taking them so long? I just want to get this thing over with."

Kitty let out with a slight laugh, "your father," as she shook her head.

Matthew looked annoyed, "my father what?"

"Oh, nothing. You just reminded me how antsy your father got when he didn't want to do something."

Matthew furrowed his brow, "why do you keep thinking about him? He has never thought about us."

"Matthew I told you what happened to your father, didn't I?"

"But where is he now Ma? He didn't come back with you, did he?" Matthew could see by the expression on his mother's face she was hurt by his words. He stood and hugged Kitty. "I'm sorry Ma."

She put her hand on Matthew's face, "you've had to shoulder so much for someone your age." She grabbed the cup of coffee and turned toward the hallway, "well, I'll be in my office upstairs if you need me." Matthew nodded in agreement as Kitty turned back to him, "thank you for going with them today Matthew. I'm sure if Becky does see you she'll be even more impressed with the young man you are then she already is." Kitty smiled and walked down the hallway toward the front stairs when she heard a knock at the door. She yelled back at her son, "Matthew I got it." She grabbed the bowl of candy from the table and turned the knob. As the door swung open the bowl in Kitty's arms began a quick descent to the floor. The swift reflex of the visitor saved the candy from scattering across the floor.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?"

In shock, Kitty moved back a few steps to let him pass. She closed the door and took the bowl from his arms and laid it on the table. "What are you doing here?"

He looked around the foyer. "I used to call this home."

Both afraid to make the next move they stood in silence. The moment was interrupted by Matthew laying down the rules for their annual Halloween house hopping. The children slowly approached the tall man standing with their mother in the hall. Kitty turned toward them, looked back at Matt, then back at them. "Children…this is your father." Each child took a moment to process her words. Kitty looked at their blank stares as Matthew took a few steps toward him. Matt smiled as he looked into the eyes of his tall, strong, and handsome son. Matthew stood for a second eyeing his father and then in a flash slammed his right fist into Matt's stomach. As Matt doubled over Matthew's left fist crashed against Matt's jaw. The hit propelled Matt's body into the hallway wall as Matthew stormed upstairs. "Oh Matt!" Kitty steadied her husband as she assessed the damage to his face. "Katie get me a towel for your father."

Matt waved off Kitty's ministrations. "I'm all right Kitty."

"I'll tell you when you're all right." Katie stood watching her parents, "Katie, honey, please get me a towel." After Katie left Kitty tried to coax Matt into the living room. "Now cowboy let's get you seated and let me look at your face."

He took a deep breath, "Kitty, my face is fine."

Kitty finally got her husband moving toward the sofa. Matt sat down and Kitty sat next to him as Matt looked up to see his two sons staring down at him. He smiled at the boys then grabbed at his jaw as the pain shot up his jaw line. Katie brought the towel and Kitty began to dab at Matt's face and check inside his lip. "I think you're going to live," she smiled at Matt as she held his face in her hand.

Matt smiled, "ouch," he held her hand, "that's good news doctor."

They stared into each other's eyes oblivious to anyone around them, "ah hum." Kitty turned toward her daughter, "Mom, is Matthew going with us trick or treating?"

"I think your brother needs to simmer down a little first."

Matt turned to Kitty, "mind if I take them?"

"Matt, that's not necessary…"

"Would you Daddy? Please?"

Matt started to smile but stopped himself before he felt the pain. "I would love to." He lifted his body out off the sofa and headed for the door with his princess and two pirates in tow.

Maggie's arms were full as she fumbled with the keys to the front door. Before she could turn the lock the door opened and the packages began to slip from her arms. Matt caught them before they hit the floor. "This is the second time this has happened to me today."

Maggie was stunned. "Matt? Is it really you?"

He handed the two packages to his sons and hugged his friend. "It's really me Maggie."

"But I thought...I mean…you didn't come back from Dodge."

"Poor judgment Maggie," he looked back at Kitty, "very poor judgment."

She hugged him again, "well then…welcome home."

"Thank you Maggie."

"Ah hum."

Matt turned toward his daughter and shook his head, "oh, if you aren't like your mother." Matt put his hand on Katie's back, "come on." The two boys laid the packages on the table by the stairs and followed their sister. Matt turned back toward Maggie and Kitty and winked, "see ya later."

After the door closed Maggie turned to Kitty. "Doesn't Matthew usually go with them?"

Kitty looked up the stairs, "he was until he decided to send his father into the wall with a couple of punches."

"Oh Miss Kitty, how awful."

Kitty smiled, "Matt took it well. I have a feeling he was very proud of his son."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to have a talk with him right now."

"No, I mean about Dr. John."

Kitty took a deep breath, "I don't know Maggie but right now the only thing I need to do is speak with my son."

Maggie nodded, "Good luck."

Kitty nodded, "I'm going to need it."

Kitty slowly opened the bedroom door. Matthew was reading and looked up when Kitty entered the room. "Save your breath Ma, I don't want to hear it."

She kept moving toward the bed. "And what did you think I was going to say?"

"I'm sure you're not happy that I hit my father," he snickered, "father."

She shook her head, "no, to tell you the truth Matthew I wasn't going to say anything. I thought I'd let you talk, if you want to."

Kitty sat down on the bed and he stared at her for a moment, "he's going to ruin everything for you and Uncle John, Ma. We've gotten along fine without him. We don't need him here."

She placed her hand on his arm, "Matthew, I know you don't want to hear this but he is your father." He started to speak and Kitty held her hand up for him to stop. "I'm not here to defend what your father did; I know he has hurt you very much but I think he should be given an opportunity to tell us why he did what he did. Don't you want to be able to tell him how you feel?"

Matthew's face showed his displeasure, "not particularly, I don't want anything to do with him."

Kitty took a deep breath, "well…I never could move mountains!"

Matthew looked puzzled, "what?"

Kitty smiled, "it's something I said to your father many years ago." She stood, "Matthew, I can't force you to get to know him I just wish, for your own sake, you'd give it a try."

She started to walk out of the room when Matthew called after her, "Ma, are you going to take him back?"

Kitty stared for a moment and shook her head, "I really can't say Matthew…I have a lot to think about."

Kitty walked down the hall and into her bedroom. She walked to the French doors and folded her arms across her chest as she looked out at the slowly setting sun. She wasn't sure what she was feeling at the moment. The only man she had ever truly loved, her passion, her whole life, had come home and here she was wondering what she was going to do. Just a few years ago, her heart would have burst with joy at the sight of him standing at the door but that didn't happen today. She was more stunned and burdened with decisions than excited about the future. She took a deep breath when she heard footsteps on the stairs and the bedroom door closing.

Matt turned the latch on the door and stood staring at Kitty as the evening sun bathed her face in soft yellow hues. She was still the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on and he shook his head wondering how he ever thought spending time away from her would make him happy. He had a good deal of time on the train to think and he was prepared to do anything to make their reunion perfect. As his eyes ran up and down her body he smiled as he thought of how he planned a moment like this.

With eyes focused on the horizon she could feel the person coming closer. She closed her eyes as he placed his hands on her shoulders and she leaned back into his chest. "You seem to be a million miles away."

She took a deep breath, "I was."

He chuckled, "our daughter is really something." He whispered in her ear. "You were right she had me wrapped around her finger in no time." She didn't answer and Matt leaned over to look at her face. "Something wrong Kitty?" She shook her head and when he turned her toward him tears were slowly running down her cheeks. "There is something wrong, what is it?"

She shook her head, "I don't know Matt… I'm just a little confused at the moment."

"About what?"

Kitty walked away, hands raised in resignation, "about you, about our life, about the effect your sudden appearance has on our children…pick one."

"How's Matthew?"

She waved her hand, "oh, he'll be all right." She turned and moved closer to touch his face, "how are you?"

He smiled, "I'm fine." He grabbed his jaw, "I gotta' tell you our son lands quite a punch." He put his hands on her shoulders, "he made me proud Kitty and you've done a fine job with him."

She nodded, "well…I just hope he gives you a chance to get to know him."

He ran his hands up and down her arms. "I think in time he will."

They stared into each other's eyes for a moment then Matt leaned over and kissed her lips. His fingers gently glided down her body as he continued to kiss her tenderly. She broke from his embrace, "Matt…please!"

She moved a few feet away from him. "Kitty, do you want to talk about it?"

She quickly whirled around to face him, "you just can't waltz in here and think that making love to me is going to make everything all right. You humiliated me in Dodge Matt…"

He walked over and put his hands on her shoulders, "honey, let me explain."

She hit his hands to remove them from her shoulders, "I can't tell you how happy I was when I received the telegram saying you were still alive. I traveled day and night to be there with you and sat for weeks praying that you would regain consciousness so I could tell you how much I still loved you. Before we had a chance to return home you decided that some old trapper buddy of yours deserved you risking your life again. Not once did you ever give any consideration to my feelings or ask me before you made the decision to track down this friend of yours who could have been just as guilty as the Army said he was. Now, I will admit, I made the mistake to stay in Dodge but it shouldn't have come to that." She began to pace, "our whole life has been like that Matt. There was not much I could demand from you when I was just your lover and you were the high and mighty Marshal but now that I'm your wife and…well…seeing you every twelve years doesn't cut it in my book."

He walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, "Kitty, you have every right to be angry."

She folded her arms across her chest and replied sarcastically, "thank you for being so understanding."

"Damn it Kitty." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm trying my hardest to make this up to you."

She turned back toward him, "you robbed me and your children of twelve years Matt. Twelve years we can never get back because you chose to be accommodating to everyone else but us."

Matt took a deep breath, "I don't know what else I can say. I've made some very poor decisions that deprived me of a life with my family too…you know."

She shook her head, "we didn't run away from you Matt, we were always here. You could have made a life with us if we were that important to you."

He stood in front of her as he held her by the waist, "you have always been important to me Kitty. Sometimes I have a real funny way of showing it, I know, but you are."

She turned away from his embrace and he took a deep breath. He had never seen Kitty like this before and he didn't have a clue how he was going to make her understand. He slowly moved closer and stood behind her waiting to follow her lead. After awhile he realized he was the one who was going to have to break the silence as he reached out to turn her toward him. They stared into each other's eyes, "I need you Kitty." With her eyes filling with tears he leaned down and gently kissed her. She touched his face and he tenderly pulled her to him. As their kisses became more passionate Matt began to slowly undress her as she responded to his touch. Before long they were naked in the slowly darkening room and he swept her up in his arms and laid her gently on the bed. He quickly kneeled over her and he heard her gasp as he thrust forward. As the guilt from his selfish act engulfed him his thrusts became faster and deeper. He needed to erase the hurt he caused for so many years and again love and satisfy her like no other man had ever been able to do. He wanted desperately to recapture the magic they had so many years ago but so far she was not responding. He smiled when he finally felt her hips keeping rhythm with his as she urged him on with a need he had never experienced with her before. The self control he had in the past was lost as the waves of fulfillment pulsated through his body. His voice resounded throughout the room as he screamed out her name in a repetitive chant. He fell hard against the mattress and as he regained his breath he looked at Kitty, smiling, gently caressing his face with her fingers, "welcome home cowboy." He lay there unable to move a muscle as she continued to smile running her fingers through his hair. "You need a haircut Matt." He smiled as he pulled her closer to him and gently kissed her lips. She rested her head on his shoulder holding him tight then snuggled under his chin and stroked his chest. He smiled as he playfully fondled her breast. "You cut that out."

He chuckled, "what?"

"You know what." She looked up at him, "I haven't figured out whether I'm going to forgive you or not and that's not helping me make a rational decision."

He shrugged, "all right, if I can't influence the judge well…" he removed his hand.

She watched him with surprise, "I wouldn't want you defending me in court…you give up entirely too easy."

He smiled, "I don't know that it's giving up too easy. I certainly wouldn't want to upset the judge by not playing by the rules she set in her courtroom."

She shot him her look, "figure you might have done enough of that already?"

He nodded and smiled, "something like that, especially since I might have gotten back in her good graces…somewhat."

She lightly ran her hand down his body, "maybe…but from what I hear the jury is still out."

Matt raised his eyebrows, "oh…so it's a jury trial now?"

She spoke in between kissing his chest, "getting a…little nervous…right about now?"

He shook his head, "no, I think I've presented my case well enough."

She looked up, "hmm…you might have." He closed his eyes as she ran her lips down his body.

He loved her touch, there was no other woman in the world that could excite him the way she did. His thoughts brought him back to the time in the desert when he was a guy named Dan. Even though he was a man with no identity he was sure that there was someone who he loved beyond words. He could have made a life easily enough with the woman in Arizona but there was this gnawing feeling deep inside that tortured his soul. He knew he could never be settled until he found the person that caused this constant tug on his heart. Kitty looked up and saw Matt staring at the ceiling. She slid up next to him and kissed his neck, "penny for your thoughts?"

"Hmm?

"What are you thinking about Matt?"

"Oh, nothing," then he looked into her eyes. Try as he might he could never resist telling those eyes the truth. "I was thinking about the time I didn't know who I was."

"Why is that on your mind now?"

He ran his fingers through her hair, "as strange as this might sound you were always with me Kitty. I didn't know who I was or where I came from but in my heart, in my very soul, you were there. You didn't have a name or a face but I could constantly feel you. When I heard the word Dodge it wasn't the dust covered streets, the hot summers, cold winters, or the badge on my chest that came to mind. It was the light lit in the upstairs window of the Long Branch, climbing up the back staircase, opening the door into your waiting arms that I could see so clearly. It was your vision that made me realize who I was and where I belonged. In your arms, just like I am now, and I promise you I am never going to leave them again until I die."

Tears were streaming down Kitty's face. "Oh Matt."

He wiped away the tears, "It's going to be all right Kitty. I'm never going to leave you again."

She ran her fingers down his chest, "why did you leave me in Dodge?"

He sighed, "Kitty, when I looked up at you in the window and I saw your bruised face I realized that I had failed again. When I well enough to travel we should have gotten on that train and come home but my sense of duty caused me to put you aside again and help someone who I knew so many years ago. I left you in Doc's office to go save someone who meant nothing in my life but I made him more important than you. If I had gotten on that train and brought you home Mannon would have never found you in the Long Branch, would have never beaten you, would have never come close to killing you. My failure, that's what I saw when I looked at you and the guilt was crushing me so much that I couldn't breathe. Foolishly I thought that it would be better if you found someone else. Someone who would always be with you and take care of you and didn't have so much violent history to haunt you. That's what I wanted for you; for you to start over with someone else and forget about me."

She stroked his face, "what changed your mind?"

"I aimlessly rode around for a few weeks then eventually went back to the cabin. Brave Bear was in ill health and the two little ones were taking care of him as best they could. I stayed with them until his death then once we buried him I took the children to the reservation so they could be with their own people. I went back to the cabin figuring that you never wanted to see me again but once I returned this overwhelming feeling of loneliness came over me and I cried. I couldn't stop crying and it was then that I wished you were there to hold me and tell me everything was going to be all right like you always did. All I kept seeing was you in the window of the Dodge House, tears streaming down your face, and the look of love you still had for me. I decided then that I had to come home. I wasn't sure of the welcome I would receive," Matt smiled as he clutched his jaw, "but I needed to see my family again and with any luck they would be waiting."

Kitty became very quiet, "Matt…John asked me to marry him last night."

"Oh?" Matt took a deep breath, "are you going to?"

"I hadn't given him an answer but I was thinking about it."

He sat up resting his back against the headboard, "Kitty, did you and John…"

She stared into his eyes, "are you asking me if John and I made love?" He nodded, "yes, Matt, we have."

A look of astonishment came across his face as he shook his head, "Kitty, how could you do that to… us?"

Kitty was now sitting up in bed furious, "us? Oh, believe me Matt you were never in the equation…and how dare you question me! You left me Matt, you left me alone with four children and do you know who was here when they were sick or scared or needed someone to be a guiding force in their lives? Who walked them to their first day at school, cheered them on at recitals, and took them fishing? Do you know who Matt? It was John; he was here to be their father. You want to know why I made love to him because he loves me Matt. When I came back from Dodge I was devastated. I loved you so and you walked away from me."

"Kitty, I just explained why."

"That didn't help me as I watched you walk away into the night. When I returned home, John was here and you know something Matt I realized then what a wonderful, caring, loving, kind man he really is." She paused a moment, "don't worry Matt, you are still the best lover I have ever had…John didn't best you in that category…your title still remains."

He ran his fingers through his hair, "Kitty, just the thought that he…"

"I guess you'll just have to learn to live with that Matt. It's over and done with now…just like I'll have to live with the fact that you shared a cabin with a young Indian woman for years."

"Kitty, now, I told you nothing happened between Bright Moon and me."

She chuckled, "a young woman living under the same roof for years and you expect me to believe that you never once tried to love her?"

He shook his head, "Kitty, I've told you a million times you are the only woman that I want to make love to." Matt paused a moment. "Well…she did try Kitty but I turned her down."

She shot him her look, "so you say."

He reached out for her arm, "it's the truth Kitty."

She took a deep breath, "you know something Matt I don't care to sit here and be accused of being unfaithful to you. By your actions in Dodge you told me that you no longer loved me and I acted accordingly."

He folded his arms across his chest, "yeah, by sleeping with another man."

"Not just any man Matt, a man who truly loves me!" She tried to untangle herself from the sheets, "I don't know why I'm even defending myself since I've done nothing wrong." Finally freed from the sheets she turned back to Matt, "go back to your Indian squaw and have another family that you won't be interested in!" She slammed the door to her changing room. Matt leaned back against the headboard and ran his fingers through his hair. He certainly hadn't planned for their reunion to turn out like this or to hear that John and she had been intimate. He took a deep breath, flipped the sheets off his body, and reached down to pick up his clothes. He dressed slowly then sat for a moment hoping that she would have calmed down enough that he would be given another opportunity to speak with her. He slowly walked toward the door of the room she was in and contemplated knocking but he thought better of it. As he turned to leave their bedroom he was not sure where he was going to go or what he was going to do. All he knew was that he couldn't let Kitty marry John.

Matt slowly walked down the stairs, carpet bag in hand. As he walked across the foyer to the front door Katie ran to him. "Where are you going Daddy?"

He smiled, "I don't know yet Katie."

"But why can't you stay here?"

He glanced up the stairs, "I think your mother needs some time alone."

She took his hand, "you're not going to leave again...are you Daddy?"

He ran his hand over her hair, "I'm never going to leave you again Katie and that's a promise."

"Where will you go?"

He smiled, "oh, I'll find a room somewhere…don't you worry about your old dad."

"You'll come and see me tomorrow…won't you?"

He put his bag down and hugged her, "you bet I will." He picked his bag off the floor and walked toward the door. She walked into the living room as Maggie followed Matt onto the porch.

Matt was down the end of the pathway when Maggie called after him. "Matt, wait a minute." He stopped and turned, "where are you going?"

"I have to find a room…any suggestions?"

She smiled as she dug into her pocket, "our house is the blue one," she pointed, "fifth one down. You take this key and make yourself at home. You're going to stay with me," she put her hand up, "and I'll not take no for an answer."

"I wouldn't think of it." He smiled, "thanks Maggie."

She nodded, "I'll be home later, see you then." Maggie made her way back to the house while Katie stood at the front window watching her father walk away.

Kitty finished dressing and sat on the bed. She wasn't sure how their conversation escalated into a fight but the fact that he was home was all that mattered. She straightened her dress as she stood and headed downstairs for dinner.

Katie noticed John walking up the pathway and ran to him as soon as he entered the front door. "Uncle John…my Daddy is home."

John looked confused as Kitty came down the front stairs. He looked at her, "Matt is home?"

She nodded, "came home a couple of hours ago."

He looked around, "where is he now?"

She shook her head, "I don't know."

"I do…my father walked toward Aunt Maggie's house." Katie was so excited, "oh, Uncle John he is so tall and he took us trick or treating and I swear all my friends were so jealous."

"Katie, why don't you help your Aunt Maggie with dinner?"

They watched as Katie skipped happily away. John turned to her, "you all right?"

She nodded, "it was quite a shock seeing him standing at the door."

Before they could finish their conversation Katie came back into the room, "Mom, Uncle John, Aunt Maggie says dinner is ready."

After dinner John and Kitty sat on the porch. "It was a pretty quiet dinner tonight."

Kitty nodded, "that it was."

He looked over at her, "you want to tell me what happened?"

She took a deep breath, "well…there was a knock on the door, I opened it, and there stood Matt. The children came into the foyer, I introduced their father, and Matthew gave him two good punches and sent him reeling into the wall. Matt took Katie and the twins trick or treating, I had a conversation with Matthew, Matt and I made love, and then we had a huge fight. He left the house and I guess the last he was seen was heading down the block toward Maggie's home." She sighed, "I guess that should have you about caught up."

He winced when she mentioned that Matt and she had made love, "quite a busy few hours."

She chuckled, "I've never done anything on a small scale."

He laughed. "No, I guess not." They sat in silence while his heart was breaking. "I guess for all concerned I better not come around anymore."

Kitty looked over at him and placed her hand on his arm, "John, I haven't made any decision yet. If I had Matt would be here."

He smiled, "I know Kitty but the children need some time alone with him. It's not going to help matters if I'm around to lean on."

"I'm not sure what I'm going to do with Matthew." She shook her head, "right now he doesn't see his father in the picture at all."

He held her hand, "give him some time."

She nodded, "you know, it's funny. I had planned this day for almost thirteen years and when it finally came it wasn't as good as how I envisioned it." He stared at her, "I don't know what to do John."

He kissed her hand, "follow your heart."

She smiled, "my heart is not thinking too clearly these days."

He nodded, "I'm sorry if I've made your life complicated Kitty."

She shook her head, "you helped me keep my sanity for all those years John. I don't know what I would have done without you."

He smiled, "I've loved every day with you and the children and I will never regret the time we spent together but I'm also a realist. Matt is home, he is the children's father, and the love of your life. Whatever issues you have now are temporary and eventually you'll settle in as a family…as it should be."

She leaned over and touched his face, "oh, John, you are such a kind and sweet man."

He smiled as he took her hand and kissed it, "probably why you were starting to fall in love with me."

She nodded, "I did John."

He stood, "well…I have a long day tomorrow so I think I'll head home and get a good night's sleep."

She stood and took his arm, "John, you're right about the children having a relationship with their father but I'm still questioning whether I'm willing to take a chance on loving Matt again. I guess what I'm saying is…well…there is no guarantee that Matt and I will be together."

He ran his fingers down her face, "you have already made me the happiest man in the world and the time we shared together I will always cherish." He sighed, "Kitty, I will never love anyone else so when or if you decide I'm the one…well…you have the ring. The rest is up to you." He kissed her on the cheek and walked down the path. He closed the gate and looked back at her illuminated in the soft glow of the light from the house. He waved and she smiled as she returned his gesture. She watched him walk from view and then she returned into the house.


	38. Making Up For Lost Time

Matt turned the key in the lock and slowly opened the door. He stood in the foyer for a moment and looked around. The similarity between the two houses was the first thing he noticed as he made his way into the living room. He ran his fingers along the back of the furniture and his sense was that Kitty had a hand in the decor. He put his carpetbag down and as he walked around the room he noticed a picture on the mantel. He smiled as he looked at the picture of Doc and Maggie's wedding day. Doc looked so happy that day and Matt wished that he could have been there to share in his happiness. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear Maggie come up behind him. "That was quite a day."

Matt returned the photo to the mantel and turned toward her, "I wish I could have been there."

Maggie smiled, "Galen wished you were too. Can I get you anything Matt?"

He shook his head, "no, I'm fine."

She moved toward the sofa and sat down then she patted the cushion next to her. "Why don't you come over here and we'll have a little talk."

Matt sat next to her, "OK."

"So, what are your plans?"

Matt shrugged, "I don't have any except to get to know my children." He smiled, "while I was walking with them I just couldn't quite grasp that they were mine…especially the twins."

"And Miss Kitty?"

He shook his head, "I don't know Maggie…I might have done the most damage to her."

"Matt, I don't know the whole story and I don't need to know the whole story but I think for you to expect her to feel like she did before you left…well…that's a lot to ask of any woman, especially after what just happened in Dodge."

"I understand that Maggie but…," before he could finish his sentence the front door opened. Claire peered into the living room and looked puzzled.

Maggie stood and motioned for Claire to come forward. She made her way to her sister and a strange man sitting on the sofa. "Claire, I'd like to introduce you to Matt Dillon. Matt, this is my sister Claire."

Matt rose and took her hand, "very nice to meet you Claire. Kitty told me that Maggie had a sister."

Claire eyed him, "Kitty told me a lot about you too. It's nice to finally meet you."

"Claire, Matt is going to be staying with us for a little while."

She looked at her sister confused as she pointed to Matt, "but I thought that…"

Maggie poked Claire in the ribs as Matt smiled, "I'm afraid my wife needs some time to adjust to my sudden arrival." Matt put his hands up, "now, if my staying here is an inconvenience I'll find another place somewhere."

"Don't be ridiculous Matt, you're welcome to stay as long as you like. Before I found Claire, you and Miss Kitty were the only family I had."

Claire smiled, "well, I'm sure you two have a lot of catching up to do. I've had another long day so I think I'm going up to lie down." She extended her hand to Matt, "it was very nice to meet you Matt."

"Nice to meet you too Claire." She turned and walked up the stairs to her room.

As Claire disappeared from view Maggie and Matt turned and sat on the sofa, "now, where were we?"

"I think you were about to tell me how very wrong I was."

Maggie smiled, "I don't think you need me to tell you that."

He looked down, "no, that's true."

Maggie took a deep breath, "Galen spent a good deal of time upset with you. He could never understand how you could walk away from your family and, I have to say, I find it just as hard to understand."

He shook his head, "the funny thing is Maggie as soon as the train pulled away from the station I had second thoughts but for some reason I couldn't get off the train." He took a deep breath, "I wish to God I had now."

She sighed, "I wish I had come home a little earlier from visiting Claire and stopped you before you had a chance to leave again…that's what I wish."

Matt eyed Maggie, "was I wrong to assume that Kitty and John were together?"

Maggie smiled, "very wrong. Oh, I'm not saying that Dr. John didn't want that to be true but Miss Kitty was still too in love with you to entertain such a thought. I can't begin to tell you how frantic she was when she found your note and the glass in the bedroom and realized that you had been home."

Matt looked down and shook his head, "I've been such a fool Maggie."

She patted his knee, "all is not lost. I'm of the opinion that Miss Kitty still loves you very much." She put her hand up, "not that I've discussed this with her, mind you."

"Did you know that John proposed to Kitty?"

She shook her head, "no, but I know they had talked about it." She laid her hand on his arm, "Matt, for once in your life fight for her. Don't make the same mistake again thinking you know what she wants or you'll lose her. Dr. John is a good man, a real good man, but you and Miss Kitty belong together. I've never seen two people more in love than you two."

Matt smiled, "I've always wanted what's best for her Maggie even if it meant that she wouldn't be with me."

"Well, Matt Dillon, I think you need a whole new way of thinking." She paused, "you do still love her…don't you?"

He nodded, "more than life itself."

"Then I don't know what the problem is."

He shrugged, "I just hope I'm not too late."

"Well, you'll never know by sitting on your hands." She patted his knee again, "you start tomorrow and…," a knock on the door interrupted their conversation as Maggie stood, "excuse me Matt." He nodded and watched her walk into the foyer.

She smiled and ushered her visitor into the house, "Miss Maggie I just be a stoppin' by seein' ifn ya be needin' anythin'."

"Well, no, Festus, but there is someone here who you might like to see."

She pointed toward the living room as Festus' eyes opened wide. Matt stood as Festus slowly walked toward him, "good to see you again old friend."

Matt extended his hand and Festus took it. He shook it up and down vigorously, "Well, Matthew, if yer ain't a sight fer sore eyeballs."

Matt tried to slow down their handshake as he smiled, "it's good to see you too."

"When ya get back?"

"Oh…a few hours ago." Matt pointed toward Festus, "I hear you've been on the road for awhile."

Before Festus answered Maggie interrupted them, "I know you two have a lot to talk over so I'm going to retire." She quickly turned back to Matt, "Oh, and Matt, you're staying in the middle room."

He smiled, "thank you Maggie, oh, and thanks for the talk."

She smiled, "you're welcome and glad you're here. Good night Matt, good night Festus."

In unison they replied as they watched her walk up the stairs. Matt turned to Festus, "would you like a drink? I'm sure Doc had this house well stocked." He turned to Festus and smiled as he looked through the sideboard and cabinets. "Ah, here it is." He grabbed two glasses and poured them both a drink.

They moved toward the sofa and sat down, "why ya stayin' here Matthew? Ya gonna' surprise Miss Kitty tomorra'."

Matt leaned back on the sofa, "no, Festus, I think I've surprised Kitty enough for today."

Festus looked puzzled, "she ain't be glad to see ya?"

"Let's just say the reunion got off to a rocky start."

Festus looked down, "sorry ta hear that Matthew," he looked back at Matt, "ya see ya youngins?"

A big grin ran across Matt's face, "they are something…aren't they Festus?"

He nodded and winked, "they sure is."

"I've got a lot of catching up to do." He took a sip of his drink, "I'm really going to enjoy being a father."

He eyed Matt for a moment before he spoke, "Matthew, there be somethin' botherin' me ever since I come back."

"What's that Festus?"

"Well, Miss Kitty done tolt me that I had found ya at the cabin wit' the Indian shemale but that she be a fearin' that I be wantin' to kill ya so she tolt me ya wern't there."

Matt nodded, "as she lay dying she told me you were there."

Festus looked concerned, "she be dead?" Matt put his head down and nodded, "then what become of the youngin' she be a carryin'?"

Matt looked up as he took another sip of his drink, "he lived."

"Where he be now?"

Matt looked confused, "why the interest in the Indian boy?"

Festus took a deep breath, "well, the Indian shemale was the onliest one round when I stopped by and then Miss Kitty tolt me that you were stayin' there and she be wit' a youngin' and…"

Matt smiled, "and you thought the baby was mine?"

Festus nodded as he put his hands up, "Matthew, now, it's not that I be thinkin' that ya could be wit' another shemale 'ceptin' Miss Kitty but ya knowd ya had that there head problem one other time and maybe ya don't knowd who ya was and ya did somethin' wit' that there shemale that gave ya that there youngin' and then ya knowd who ya was and now ya got that there youngin' and maybe ya brung the youngin' home wit' ya and maybe that be why Miss Kitty be so upset and..."

Matt put his hand up and then sat a moment staring at Festus, "did you really just say that all in one breath?" Festus stared as Matt smiled, "Festus, I assure you that I knew who I was the whole time I was away. Now I know that doesn't speak well of me for staying away for so long but the children do not belong to me, Little Fawn and Running Fox are their parents." He took a sip of his drink, "I love Kitty and I always will. There is no other woman for me Festus."

Festus was grinning from ear to ear, "ya don't knowd how glad I be to hear ya say that Matthew. Sure puts my mind to ease."

"From what I hear you spent many years searching for me."

Festus nodded, "ya betcha ya."

Matt shook his head, "I'm sorry that you went through all that trouble on my account and I owe you a lot."

"Then you best be splitin' that owin' wit' me and Frank Reardon."

"Frank?"

"I be thinkin' ya might have gone to stay wit' him and once he herd that ya were a missin' he started searchin' too. From what he said he even be spendin' a winter here with Miss Kitty."

Matt smiled and took a sip of his drink, "seems like my wife had a lot of gentlemen callers while I was away."

"Now, Matthew, I don't think it's what ya think. Miss Kitty been missin' ya a lot…ya can bet ya life on that."

Matt laughed, "I know Festus…it was just a little joke." He looked at his glass, "want another drink?"

Festus waved his hand, "nah, I got ta be gettin' back ta Miss Kitty's eatin' place but I'll see ya tomorra'."

Matt walked Festus to the door and said good night. He went back to the sideboard and poured another drink then he sat in the arm chair and took a sip. He would start tomorrow, first by taking the twins fishing then having lunch with Katie the next day. He would slowly make his presence known until Matthew and Kitty accepted him again as well. He raised his glass, "to you Doc, I'm going to make it up to them, you just watch."

The next morning Kitty walked down the back staircase into the kitchen. She smiled at Maggie as she was clearing the table, "well…decided to sleep in this morning?"

Kitty yawned and nodded. "It was very busy last night."

Maggie moved a chair, "sit, I'll get you some breakfast." Kitty began to speak but Maggie stopped her, "I'll bring you a cup of coffee first, now sit."

Kitty thumbed through the paper, "where is everyone this morning?"

She brought Kitty the coffee, "Matthew went to meet Tommy, Katie is going on a boat ride with Cora's family, and the twins went fishing."

Kitty sipped the coffee, "John take them fishing?"

Maggie turned back to her, "no, Matt did."

Kitty looked up from the paper, "Matt?"

Maggie nodded, "got up bright and early and said he was taking the twins fishing."

Kitty thought a moment, "they didn't say anything to me."

Maggie waved her hand, "I wouldn't worry…they're with their father."

In a sarcastic tone Kitty replied, "I'm well aware of the relationship."

A slight smile creased Maggie's face before she turned back to Kitty, "I would think you'd be pleased that Matt was taking an interest in his children."

She took a deep breath, "I am Maggie it's just that…"

Maggie looked confused, "it's what?"

She sighed, "I don't want them to get their hopes up. Matt has left unexpectedly before."

She chuckled, "oh, I don't think he'll do that again."

Kitty looked surprised, "and how are you so sure?"

Maggie sat down next to her, "because Matt and I had a nice conversation last night and I'm convinced he is never going to leave again."

Kitty looked at her with a furrowed brow, "last night?"

"Matt is staying with me Miss Kitty."

Kitty thought a moment, "Katie said that he walked in the direction of your house, I just didn't think he was staying there."

Maggie looked puzzled, "do you have a problem with Matt staying with me?"

Kitty looked at her, "would it matter if I did?"

Maggie smiled, "no, I'd still insist he stay." She paused, "Miss Kitty, what is really bothering you?"

She shook her head, "I really don't know Maggie, I really don't know."

It was a beautiful morning for fishing, bright blue sky dotted with white puffy clouds and a cooling breeze. Maggie had packed them a lunch and the three males lazily watched as their lines swayed in the slowly moving current. "Did you do much fishing where you were sir?"

Matt smiled, "not as much as I would have liked Russell."

"Mom told us that you used to be a lawman."

He shook his head, "yes, many years ago Joseph."

"She said you had to…um…," he turned to Russell, "what's the word?"

"Draw," Russell looked at Matt and smiled.

Joseph continued, "you had to draw on outlaws," with eyes wide he stared at Matt, "did you Dad…really?"

Matt nodded, "more times then I wanted to. I tried to avoid that as much as possible."

"I bet everyone looked up to you sir."

"Well, Russell, people liked it when the town was peaceful. I guess they appreciated the job I did then."

Joseph gave him a quizzical look, "how did you meet our Ma?"

Matt looked out over the water, "your mother ran one of the saloons in town, just like she does here. In the evenings I would stop in to make sure everything was all right, as I did with all the businesses in town."

"I bet she appreciated the job you did the most."

Matt's face broke into a sly grin at the innocent reply of his child, "she most certainly did Joseph." Matt cleared his throat not wanting to discuss his and Kitty's relationship any further with their boys, "you know…your Aunt Maggie packed us a great lunch. What do you say we dig in?" He opened the basket, "here we go some nice cold chicken, oh, and your Aunt Maggie's famous potato salad."

"Aunt Maggie is such a good cook," Joseph smiled as he took his first bite.

"I'll say," Russell nodded as he spooned the potato salad onto his dish. Matt smiled as he watched his boys eat then he filled a plate.

The next morning Kitty stretched as she placed her back against the headboard trying to shake the lingering tiredness from her body. She had not seen Matt since he returned but the fact that he was making an effort with his children had pleased her. The twins were certainly impressed with him and the fishing trip they took that morning was the main topic of conversation at dinner. She smiled as she pulled on her robe and made her way down to the kitchen. "Morning Miss Kitty, would you like eggs or pancakes?"

"I think eggs will do." Kitty poured a cup of coffee and sat down. She opened the paper, "seems Matt's fishing trip with the boys went well yesterday."

Maggie smiled, "not only did they catch some fish but Matt taught them how to clean them. They were most impressed by that I think."

Kitty smiled, "he was always good at cleaning," she paused a moment to remember, "come to think of it…that was all he was willing to do when we went on a picnic."

Maggie turned back toward her, "must be some nice memories."

Kitty turned the page, "that they are Maggie."

Maggie eyed her, "you could be making some more."

Kitty looked up, "I've had my world turned upside down too many times Maggie. I wish taking Matt back could be that simple, I really do, but I have to protect myself and the children."

"Oh, Miss Kitty, I doubt Matt is ever going to leave again."

Kitty turned the next page, "I hope not. It would be exceptionally hard on the children this time around if he pulled a disappearing act." Maggie placed the eggs in front of her, "thanks Maggie."

Maggie placed her hand on Kitty's shoulder, "Miss Kitty, I know that you have been hurt by Matt but I really think he is trying very hard to make it up to you and the children." She put her hand up, "now don't get me wrong, I think Dr. John is a real fine man and I'd tell you to marry him in a heartbeat if Matt wasn't here, but he is." She paused, "I just don't think you'd ever be really happy with Dr. John when Matt was living a few doors down." She walked over to the stove, "that's just how I feel."

Kitty thought a moment as she took a deep breath, "you might be right Maggie." She took a sip of coffee, "I try so hard not to let Matt affect me the way he does but then I see him," she shook her head, "there is just something about that man…"

Maggie smiled, "you'll figure it out. I don't doubt that for a moment."

Kitty looked up at Maggie, "I wish I had your confidence." Kitty finished her eggs then looked up at the clock, "well, right now I better start getting ready to go to the restaurant. I have a shipment coming in that I have to be there for." She walked over to Maggie and hugged her, "thanks Maggie for breakfast…and the talk." Maggie smiled then watched as Kitty made her way up the back staircase.

Kitty stood in the foyer adjusting her earring when she noticed Katie pacing in the living room, occasionally looking out the front window. Kitty walked toward her daughter. "Is there anything wrong Katie?"

Katie smiled, "oh, no, Mom. I'm just waiting for my date."

Kitty's brow furrowed, "you're what?"

Katie turned and gave her mother an exasperated look, "my date. I'm at the age when girls start dating...Mother."

Kitty put her hands on her hips, "this is the first time I'm hearing about this boy Katie."

Katie giggled, "I know Mom, isn't it wonderful?"

Kitty looked astonished, "and where did you meet this boy?"

Katie put her hands on her hips, "Mother, I wish you'd stop calling him a boy." She smiled, "he's somewhat older than me."

A worried look shot across Kitty's face, "how much older?"

Katie waved her hand, "I don't think age should matter Mom. After all, with his experience there will be so much he can teach me about life…and love." Katie could see the anger slowly mounting in her mother's face, "what's wrong Mom, I thought you'd be pleased that I was seeing a mature man."

Kitty pointed toward the stairs, "now listen here young lady, you're going upstairs right this instant and go to your room. I'll take care of this mature lothario when he arrives."

"But Mom…"

"But Mom nothing," Kitty pointed toward the stairs again, "upstairs…now!"

A knock on the door interrupted their argument. Katie stood on the first step as she watched her mother walk toward the door. Kitty grabbed the doorknob and jerked the door open, "listen here buster…"

"I'd hate to be buster, that's for sure." Matt walked through the door.

Kitty glared at Katie as she giggled, "I tried to tell you Mom."

Matt looked confused, "what's going on here?"

Kitty put her hand on her hip, "your daughter…"

Matt smiled, "oh, so she's my daughter now?"

Kitty nodded, "yes, when she pulls the type of prank she just pulled," she pointed at Matt, "she's your daughter!"

Katie ran to Matt and hugged him, "I made Mom believe that I had a date with an older, mature man."

Matt tried to hide his grin, "well, Kitty, I am an older, mature man…there's no denying that."

Kitty shot him a look as she crossed her arms across her chest, "older yes…mature…that's debatable!" She looked at her husband and daughter and threw up her hands in resignation, "there's no use in talking to either one of you!"

They both chuckled as Kitty made her way to the kitchen. "You ready honey?"

Matt offered Katie his arm, "sure am Daddy." Matt turned back and smiled as he closed the front door.

After lunch they took a walk to Cathedral Park and settled down on a park bench. Matt crossed his leg and leaned toward his daughter with elbow propped on the back of the bench. "Did you enjoy lunch Katie?"

She smiled, "yes Daddy, very much." She stared at him for a moment, "I'm really glad you're home." She paused, "Daddy…why did it take you so long to come home?"

Matt looked out toward the water, "I sometimes wonder about that myself Katie. I guess it was just a case of unavoidable circumstances."

She looked down, "I know you and Mom had a fight and that's why you're living at Aunt Maggie's. Did you have a fight then and that's why you left?"

Matt shook his head, "no, we didn't have a fight and your mother and I aren't fighting now. She just needs some time to adjust that's all." Matt stared at his daughter, "look at me Katie," she looked up at him, "maybe it will help you understand if I tell you a little bit about your mother and me."

Katie smiled, "like how you met?"

Matt nodded, "OK, I was a Deputy in Dodge City and one morning I walked in to have breakfast and your mother was sitting at a table in the corner." Matt smiled, "she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen but it looked to me as if she was going to be getting back on the stage to some fancy city like St. Louis or maybe someplace back east. Then one day I noticed that she took a job at one of the saloons in town and I couldn't believe my luck." He leaned closer to Katie, "I could see right off your mother was a very unique woman and I found it a little more difficult to talk to her." Matt chuckled, "I was very lucky that I had your Pop Pop and Uncle Chester…"

Katie looked confused, "who Daddy?"

"You never met your Uncle Chester but he was a good friend of mine who helped me around the Marshal's office." Matt paused, "now…where was I?"

"You couldn't talk to Mom and you needed help."

Matt chuckled, "so one night they told me that they would be at a table in the saloon with your mother and that I should come in and join them." Matt shook his head, "boy, I was so tongue tied that night but luckily your Pop Pop and Uncle Chester kept the conversation going while I sat there staring into your mother's eyes." Matt smiled, "I had a feeling she knew how nervous I was but I think it delighted her somehow especially after your Pop Pop and Uncle Chester left us alone. I was thinking about leaving too but your mother put her hand on my arm and asked if I wanted another beer and from there we talked the night away. Eventually your mother saved up enough money and was able to buy that saloon and make it into the best of its kind in Dodge." Matt shook his head, "there was never a day that I didn't want to be with your mother for the rest of my life but I had a job to do and that demanded all of my time."

Katie furrowed her brow, "that's sounds silly to me. My friend Jenny's father is a policeman and he is married to her mother. Why couldn't you have married Mom?"

Matt shook his head, "Dodge back then was very different from New Orleans now and besides there is a police force here where back in Dodge I was the police force." Matt took a deep breath, "there were very bad men that would not think twice about hurting your mother in order to get to me."

"Oh, like the bad man that beat Mom the last time she was in Dodge?"

Matt nodded, "just like that."

Katie looked puzzled, "but didn't my Mom want to get married?"

Matt rolled his eyes, "well…we spoke about it many times but I think she knew that she would be in even more danger and if we had children that they would be in danger too."

Katie shook her head, "Mom sure loved you."

Matt smiled, "I know she did and I loved her just as much."

Katie thought a moment, "do you still love her Daddy?"

Matt nodded, "very much sweetheart."

She sighed. "Then how come you left us?"

Matt shrugged, "well…I'm not sure that I can really answer that because I really don't know myself. You see Katie, when I was around your age my parents were gone and I didn't have any other family so I was on my own very early in life. I had a few friends but I guess I was what people would call a loner. When your mother came into my life I was no longer alone and she became my family but I still had a job to do which kept me away and on my own a great deal. Life here in New Orleans is very different from the life I had in Dodge and I guess after your brother was born and your mother opened the restaurant she had less and less time for me." Matt looked back out at the water, "you know it's funny…your mother spent a whole lifetime coming in second to my job and the moment I wasn't her number one priority…I took off." Matt turned back toward Katie and put his hand up, "now I don't want you to think that I wasn't the happiest man in the world when you and your brother were born, because I was, but I guess I still had a little of that loner streak in me that needed to get back to the wilderness for a little while…that's the only way I can explain it." He reached out and touched Katie's shoulder, "believe me Katie, I only intended to stay away for two weeks." Matt shook his head, "I realize now that it was a mistake, I should have been here taking care of you and your brothers. I missed being a father and watching you and your brothers grow but most of all I caused your mother years of needless pain." Matt looked down, "there's not much more I can say."

Katie put her hand on top of Matt's arm, "you can watch me grow up starting now Daddy."

Matt smiled as he patted her hand, "I know."

"Are you and Mom going to get back together?"

Matt smiled, "I think that's up to your mother."

Katie nodded, "she's gotten real close to Uncle John. It wasn't always like that though. It just seems that when she came back from Dodge she changed somehow."

"Your Uncle John has been very good to you and your brothers."

Katie nodded, "I'm not going to lie to you Daddy I do love Uncle John. I looked up to him as if he was my father and I know he loves me very much." Katie smiled, "but I'm glad that you came home."

Matt smiled, "not more than I am." He looked around, "maybe we should be getting back."

Katie took his arm, "are you going to let Mom marry Uncle John?"

He took her hand in his, "honey, that's up to your mother to decide but I want you to know that no matter what happens I'm still going to be your Dad and I will always be in your life…OK?"

Katie nodded a little disappointed, "I just thought you might try to convince Mom to marry you."

Matt smiled, "we are married Katie."

She waved her hand, "oh, you know what I mean. It would be nice to have you living with us."

"I'd like that too but that's also up to your mother."

Katie's face brightened, "I know Mom still loves you, she told me once. She said that she could never love anyone like she loved you." Katie made a face, "I told her that I thought it was real silly to love someone that much who wasn't even here."

Matt took a deep breath, "Katie, I appreciate how you feel but promise me you won't try to pressure your mother into anything."

"But Daddy…"

"Promise me Katie." Katie nodded, "good girl, now shall we go?" They stood and Matt turned back to his daughter. "Oh and Katie, maybe you should stop pulling any further pranks on your mother. She has a lot on her mind lately and…"

"I know Daddy," she shook her head, "boy, you sure do love her."

Matt made a face as he swept his arm around his daughter's shoulders, "come on." Katie giggled as they walked down the path.

Kitty was on her way to the restaurant when Matt and Katie walked into the foyer. "So Katie…how was your date with an older, mature man?"

"It was everything that I had hoped Mom…maybe you should try it one of these days." She winked at Kitty.

"Katie?"

She looked back at Matt, "sorry Daddy." She smiled as she ran up the stairs to the second floor.

Kitty shook her head as she watched Katie disappear from view, "that girl, I don't know what I'm going to do with her."

Matt eyed Kitty, "oh, I don't know, she reminds me a lot of a young woman I knew many years ago."

Kitty turned back toward Matt and the two stared into each other's eyes for a moment. "I want to thank you for taking her to lunch today Matt. I think it's important for you to get to know your children."

He walked closer to her, "I think it's important too. I would like to be given a chance to speak with other members of my family."

She took a deep breath as he stood closer to her, "I hope that one day Matthew will see how important it is."

Matt put his hand on her arm, "I'm not talking about Matthew. I was hoping I would be given a chance to take you out for lunch one day." He ran his hand up and down her arm as she closed her eyes and swallowed hard. He leaned and whispered in her ear, "maybe Friday?" She could feel her defenses wilt as he brushed his lips along her ear lobe. He smiled as his lips met hers and she wrapped her hands around his neck. He broke away and ran his fingers down her face as they stared into each other's eyes. "What'd ya say? Friday?"

She ran her fingers through his hair, "I'd like that."

Matt smiled, "good, then I'll pick you up at noon."

He turned to leave when she grabbed his arm and touched his lips with her fingers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. Matt smiled as he gently kissed her lips but Kitty wanted more and he willingly obliged until the door hit him in the back. John cleared his throat, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt anything."

Kitty tried to straighten her blouse as Matt rubbed the lipstick from his lips, "Matt was just leaving…he took Katie out for lunch today."

John smiled, "she's a delightful young lady…isn't she Matt?"

Matt nodded, "that she is." He looked annoyed, "was there a reason you stopped in today John?"

John nodded, "Kitty sent word that…"

"It's Russell, he's running a fever and I asked that John stop by and take a look at him."

John cleared his throat again, "and if you will excuse me I think I will."

Kitty watched as John passed her and started his way up the stairs. Matt watched as Kitty never took her eyes off him. "Does he always just walk in here without being announced? He could knock…you know."

Kitty whirled around, "he is here to help your sick son."

Matt put his hands on his hips, "and why wasn't I informed that my son was sick."

Kitty put her hands on her hips, "the last I looked you didn't have a degree in medicine unless some Indian witch doctor decreed that you were a man of healing now!"

"I don't need a degree in medicine to be concerned about my son."

Kitty chuckled, "oh, now you want to know everything that happens to your son…do you?" Kitty thought a moment as she placed her fingers on her chin, "let me see if I can remember how many times Russell has been sick the past twelve years just to make sure you're all caught up!"

Matt threw his hands up, "I can't reason with you."

"Maybe if you were here the last twelve years you wouldn't be so out of practice!"

Matt put his hand against his chest, "I am trying Kitty. I'm trying to make it up to you and to the children. I made a mistake, a very big mistake, and I will pay for that the rest of my life. If might help if you'd stop fighting me every step of the way!"

Kitty pointed her finger in Matt's chest. "You know what your problem is? You thought that good old Kitty would be sitting around like she always used to do so many years ago. It bothers you that I tried to make a life for myself and I could be with another man. It's your pride that took a hit Matt and you just can't believe that I could ever allow myself to fall in love again. I was a fool in Dodge Matt but I don't have to be a fool here."

He took her by the arm, "Kitty I'm not giving up and you just as well know it. I love you, I always have and I always will, and I know you still love me. Now you can spend the rest of our lives wasting time apart or you can come to your senses and try to make this family whole again. The choice is yours because sooner or later I will be your husband again and we will be happy." He took her head in his hand and pulled her into a passionate kiss. With her eyes still closed he nodded, "I'll see you later." She opened her eyes just as the door was closing. She walked over to the window and watched as Matt walked back toward Maggie's house. His limp was becoming more pronounced but he was still so handsome and would always take her breath away. She was alone with her thoughts when John entered the living room. "Well, I gave him some medicine for the fever. I think he'll be better tomorrow, nothing to worry about."

She still stared out the window, "thanks John."

He stared at her for a moment, "I truly am sorry for interrupting you and Matt."

She turned and waved her hand, "John, you had no way of knowing. Can I get you a drink?"

He lay his bag on the table, "I'd like that thanks." He sat on the sofa as Kitty brought him the drink and sat next to him. He watched as she sipped her drink deep in thought. "Kitty, maybe it would be best if I found another doctor to take care of your family."

She shook her head, "nonsense John. You are as much a part of this family as anyone else. The children love you and trust you and I'm not about to change their routine just because you walked in on Matt and I."

He put his hand on her shoulder, "are you sure Kitty? I couldn't hear what was said but I know it sounded like you were in a heated argument. Now that the children are beginning to have a relationship with their father I'm sure they'll want him to come back home."

Kitty put her drink on the table and abruptly stood. "Doesn't anyone care what I want? What if I don't want Matt to come back home…don't I have some say in that?"

"Of course you do I was just saying…"

She whirled back toward him, "what are you saying John? Are you going to suppress what you feel for me and fade into the background because Matt is back?"

"Kitty I could never forget what you mean to me."

She put her hands on her hips, "well, it sure doesn't sound like it!"

He started to walk toward her, "Kitty…"

She raised her hand, "you know what John I'm not in a very good mood." She walked over and put her hands on his chest, "and I don't mean to take it out on you." She touched his face, "you're the one who has been here to love me and helped me raise these fine children and you deserve better than to have me questioning that love."

John smiled, "honey, I know this can't be easy for you and believe me I understand. Maybe we could go to dinner tomorrow and you can tell me all about it."

She hugged him, "I'd like that."

He smiled, "pick you up at seven then?"

She smiled, "I'll be here." John kissed her, grabbed his bag, and walked toward the door.

As Maggie approached her front door she was hoping that Matt would be inside. She had heard their heated argument and worried that he might do something that he would regret later. She smiled when she noticed him sitting in the arm chair sipping a drink deep in thought. She walked toward him, "care for something to eat Matt?"

He looked up, "Hmm?"

"I thought you might be hungry. I could fix something real quick if you were of a mind to eat."

He waved his hand, "I'll fix something for myself later Maggie, no need to go to all that trouble for me."

Maggie smiled, "not any trouble Matt but by the way you look I'd say you have plenty of it." He stared into his drink, "I heard your conversation with Miss Kitty."

"I suppose everyone did," he sipped his drink, "and, for the record, it was more an argument than a conversation."

Maggie sat down, "be that as it may, at least you and Miss Kitty are talking."

Matt looked over at Maggie and chuckled, "thanks Maggie, I needed a moment of levity."

She smiled, "but it is a fact. I'd start to worry when both of you no longer want to speak with each other."

Matt shook his head, "I don't know what I'm going to do. Everything starts out right but it always takes an ugly turn."

"Matt, as I told you before, she might have forgiven you for staying away for so long but leaving her in Dodge while you went after your friend and then walking away from her after all she went through…well…it's going to take some time I would suspect."

Matt looked over at Maggie, "I felt I had no other choice Maggie."

She nodded, "and that's just it. You never put Miss Kitty first from what I gather. I would think that after awhile that treatment can wear pretty thin."

Matt nodded, "I see what you mean but what can I do?"

"Well first off you're going to have to accept Dr. John in her life. Your absence has brought them closer and as much as you want her to exclude him now that you're home I don't think that is going to happen."

He ran his fingers through his hair, "I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully accept that my wife was with another man."

She smiled, "if it's any consolation to you she wasn't until she returned from Dodge." She reached out to touch his hand, "Matt, she thought you were gone forever and whether you like it or not every woman wants to feel loved."

He took another sip of his drink, "I think I'm going to start looking for a place of my own. I don't think this temporary arrangement I had with you is going to be so temporary."

Maggie chuckled, "nonsense Matthew Dillon, I wasn't aware that the arrangement we have had a time limit. You're welcome to stay as long as you like. Of course, if you feel that you want to live alone I can't stop you."

He shook his head, "It's just that I thought I might be getting in the way."

She patted his hand, "the better to keep my eye on you." She stood, "come on now let me fix you something to eat." He smiled, stood, and followed her into the kitchen.

John looked over at Kitty deep in thought adjusting her food from one side of the plate to the other. Her argument with Matt was still very fresh in her mind. "Maybe you should have gotten the lamb."

Kitty looked up, "huh?"

John pointed toward the plate. "You haven't touched much of your meal. I was commenting that maybe another dish would have been more appealing to your palate."

She put her folk down, "I'm sorry John I guess I'm not the best company today."

He smiled, "I'm use to it by now."

She looked up into his smiling face and she smiled, "you are so right about that. How you've managed to put up with me all these years is beyond my comprehension."

He leaned across the table and took her hand, "because I love you Kitty."

Tears started to come to her eyes, "oh John."

"Come on now…no tears. Why don't you tell me what's bothering you."

She smiled, "the funny thing is nothing should be bothering me. I am at dinner with a truly remarkable man who loves me and I have four wonderful children because he had a hand in raising them. I have a beautiful home, a successful business, and my wayward husband is finally home. Not only is he home but he is going out of his way to be a father to his children." She shook her head, "now what in the world could be bothering me?"

John smiled, "Matt."

"What?"

"Matt is what is bothering you." He rubbed his thumb up and down her hand, "honey, you had settled in to a life without Matt. You were considering my marriage proposal and whether or not you accepted you knew we would still be together and continue to love each other. For once, your life was going along rather smoothly and then Matt came back. Truthfully Kitty, you haven't been the same since."

"There are so many times I think I'm under control but then I see him and he stirs so many emotions inside me," she looked away for a moment then turned back to John," oh John…I shouldn't be saying these things to you." She waved her hand, "let's just stop and enjoy dinner."

He took her hand again, "Kitty, I've sat through these talks for close to two decades now so hearing them again for a few more minutes won't bother me."

She shook her head, "I don't know why I don't up and marry you right now John Chapman."

John laughed, "I've been trying to figure that out for years."

She took his hand in hers, "John, every time that I think I have it all figured out Matt shows up and I'm back at square one. It's not right that I keep you dangling with my indecision."

He kissed her hand, "Kitty, honey, I told you before I'm in no rush. When you make your decision I want you to be happy with it because that will be something you'll have to live with the rest of your life and it shouldn't be hurried."

She looked at him with eyes brimming with tears, "I just don't know what I should do John."

He paused a moment, "why don't you invite Matt home for dinner or maybe go out to lunch and talk things over. I think if you sit down and hash everything out you'll be better able to judge what direction you want to take your life."

"But what if I do as you say and I choose Matt and not you?"

"Then, Kitty, you were meant to be with Matt."

She reached over and touched his face, "I don't want to hurt you John."

He smiled, "when I first heard that Matt was back I was under no illusion that things would stay the same between us. Thankfully it has and I hope that it will continue but I also know what Matt meant to you and that there is a good possibility that you will return to him." He stroked her face, "honey, find out what you need to know and if it leads you back to my arms I'll be the happiest man in the world but if it doesn't I have so many memories to live on for the rest of my life."

She smiled, "John, why don't we get a check. I'd like to go back to your house for a nightcap."

He smiled and raised his hand, "Waiter."

The lifting fog created an eerie atmosphere as Matt walked along the small headstones on his way to the back of the cemetery. He noticed the tall oak tree and the tiny white fence etching the perimeter of the family plot just as Maggie had described to him. A stone bench was positioned close to Doc's grave he assumed so Maggie could spend some time. Kitty had thought of everything, as she usually did, and as his eyes surveyed the property he wondered if she had thought to include him in the plans. He stood in front of the grave and nervously ran his fingers along the brim of his hat. "I suppose you can see that I'm back home Doc. Maggie was kind enough to let me live with her and I'm very grateful but I guess you're not surprised by that gesture since you know what a great gal she is. She told me how upset you were with me and you had every right to be. For the record, I did make it home once but I misunderstood a note left for Maggie and thought John and Kitty were away somewhere with my children and that I didn't have a place in their lives anymore." He paused, "come to find out that they were in Dodge to see you and that Kitty was frantic trying to locate me when she realized that I had come home." Matt chuckled, "I don't know what it is but I always jump to the conclusion that leaving Kitty alone is what she really wants. I know that doesn't make sense Doc and if you were here right now you'd tell me what a dang blame fool I am. That I shouldn't give up but I don't know if I'll ever be able to erase the hurt I've caused her." Matt paused a moment as he looked around, "that's not totally true you know Doc. I guess what it boils down to is I'm afraid. I'm afraid that if I do all I can and she then decides that she loves someone more…well…that would hurt too much. For her to choose another man over me and what we had," he ran his fingers through his hair, "that would be tough to live with. Now take John for instance, do you think I could see them together knowing that he was making love to her and that she was happy…" Matt shook his head, "no…it would kill me Doc…and I think you know that." He took a deep breath, "I don't know what to do Doc I'm so afraid I'm going to lose her. Every time I try to speak with her it always ends in an argument and I know it's just pushing her closer to John." He smiled, "No matter what hell you'd put me through I still wish you were here Doc," Matt chuckled, "even though I would hear day and night what I fool I was for leaving I'd put up with it all just for some of your sage advice." He moved toward the bench and sat for a moment then he smiled, "my children are something, aren't they Doc? I owe you so much for deciding to make this your home and being with them all those years." Matt chuckled, "Katie is so much like her mother. I get the biggest kick out of her and I know you probably did too. I don't know if I'll ever reach Matthew. I just can't figure out if he is mad at me or if it's because of Kitty." Matt stared at the grave for a moment then stood as he put on his hat, "I've made quite a mess of my life, that's for sure, but you know something I'm going to do what I can to get it back. I'm going to do whatever it takes to tilt the scale back in my favor. Yes sir, Kitty Russell and I will be happy again Doc…you just wait and see."


	39. A Matter of Trust

In the early morning darkness John arrived at his office. He carefully hung his jacket on the wooden dowel and donned the white coat as did every day for more years then he cared to remember. He struck a match to his pipe and stood at the window waiting for the first glimpse of sunrise. After Kitty left him earlier that morning he found it difficult to fall to sleep so he headed to the office to tend to paperwork that he had long neglected. The stack of patient reports still remained on the left of his desk as he daydreamed about the love of his life. It had been two weeks since Matt had returned and although he was still seeing Kitty he knew that any day the love they shared could come to an abrupt end. The fact that she had loved him at all was a blessing but the selfish part of him wanted her for the rest of his life. In quiet moments like these he had to face his fear that he was never going to win. Matt was larger than life, a lawman of the old west, the type of man books are written about. How could he expect Kitty to choose a life with a staid man of healing after sharing her life with a man so stimulating? The sun's rays were reaching over the horizon when John returned to his desk. It would be hours before his first patient so he still had time to dream. He sat back in his chair, tugged on his pipe, and thought about the only woman who had ever made him feel so alive.

A knock on the door jolted John out of his reverie. He sat up in his chair, "yes?"

Susan stuck her head in, "just checking to see if you were in doctor."

John smiled, "my…you're in early."

A look of puzzlement ran across her face as she looked up at the clock, "it's my normal time sir."

John looked up at the clock, "oh, so it is. I guess I've been busy with these files and I didn't realize the time."

Susan looked at the stack of untouched paper on John's desk and shrugged, "whatever you say doctor, I just wanted you to know that I was here in case you needed anything."

John smiled, "thank you Susan but I'm fine." She closed the door and John again looked up at the clock. His first patient would be here in half an hour so he stood and walked over to the cabinet to retrieve the file. On his way back to his desk Susan knocked again, "yes Susan."

She opened the door and not finding him at his desk looked around the room, "Matt Dillon is here to see you." John stared at Susan for a moment as the color seemed to leave his face, "are you all right doctor?"

John smiled, "I'm fine…you don't have to show him in…he knows the way."

Susan shrugged, "all right then."

John was frozen in place as strategic positions ran through his mind. The knock came sooner than he had expected. In as confident a voice as he could muster he spoke, "come in." He met Matt as he walked into the office with an outstretched hand, "it's good to see you again Matt…won't you have a seat?" Matt sat down as John walked around his desk. "So what can I do for you today?"

Matt stared at John for a moment, "I don't want to take up too much of your time John but I got to thinking and I realized I never thanked you for taking care of my family while I was away. You took on a huge responsibility when you didn't have to and my family is the better for it." He paused, "It doesn't make me feel good to know that another man was a father to my children when I should have been."

John smiled, "every man should be as fortunate as I was to be given a chance to be in their lives. Matt, they are truly amazing children."

Matt nodded, "I'm coming to find that out...well…all except Matthew. I haven't been able to reach him yet."

John smiled, "give him some time Matt, sometimes first born children are very headstrong."

Matt smiled, "You might be right about that." He paused, "you mean a lot to my children and I guess I thought you should know that too."

John nodded, "they mean a lot to me."

The two men stared at each other for a moment as if in a showdown, "now that the pleasantries are over I should get down to the real reason I'm here and not waste any more of your time. Kitty told me that you were also taking very good care of her while I was away."

"With all due respect Matt I'm not going to discuss Kitty with you."

"John, I already know. The first day I was home Kitty told me that you had proposed and that you were lovers so there's no need to defend her honor like you southern gentlemen are known to do."

Matt's words surprised John, "then you should know that I love her very much." John showed Matt his pipe, "do you mind?" Matt shook his head, "Matt, I think you ought to know that it was only after Kitty returned from Dodge that we…well…were intimate."

Matt tried to keep his emotions under control, "you had no right to touch my wife John."

John put his pipe down and sat forward in his chair. "This was not something Kitty and I had planned. There wasn't some magical number of years or catastrophic event in her life that we felt gave us permission to jump into bed together. She was devastated when she returned from Dodge with the vision of you walking away from her so clearly in her mind. She needed someone to make her feel…well…desirable again and…"

"And you just couldn't wait until she was at her most vulnerable…could you?"

"And where were you? You made love to her in Dodge and gave her false hope that your lives would be made whole again. You were barely able to walk when you left her in Dodge to run off to save some escaped prisoner friend of yours without any consideration to her feelings or what was most important to her…and almost got her killed. No, Matt, from where I sit you had your chance many times over to treasure Kitty and love her like she deserves to be loved.

Matt chuckled, "and you're the authority on how to love my wife now?"

"Matt, I've given Kitty what she always wanted, a stable loving relationship." John shook his head, "you just never understood what a lucky man you were to have her so much in love with you. To this day, after everything that you have done, there's a part of her that just can't let you go." John smiled, "we would have been married a long time ago if she had."

Matt swallowed hard, "John, I've been far from the perfect husband, much less a man, when it came to Kitty. I've taken her for granted for far too many years but I intend to change all that now. I know it's going to take a lot to regain her trust again but one day I will. I guess that is really what I came here to say."

John smiled, "you know Matt…for far too many years I have bolstered Kitty's spirits and done everything I could to bring you back to her. I have held her more times than I could count sobbing uncontrollably in my arms because she loved and needed you so much. I have kept my feelings at bay for years because I knew she couldn't possibly love anyone else but you. I've done everything I could to be a good friend and someone who she could rely on day after day but you know something…all that has changed now. I know what it is to love Kitty, to hold her naked in my arms, to have the intimate talks that lovers have and I'm not ready to give that up." John stood with outstretched hand, "and I guess that is really all I want to say."

Matt stood and smiled as he took John's hand. He tried not to let John's recounting of his love life with Kitty show on his face but it shook him to his core. "I guess time will tell…doctor."

He shook Matt's hand, "I guess it will."

They stared at one another in an intimidating glare, "I'll show myself out." Matt turned and headed for the door. After the door closed John sat down and took a deep breath.

Kitty could hear John's laughter in the hallway as he approached the waiting room. "You know Henry, I've heard that story countless times but the way you tell it it's like I'm hearing it for the first time." He patted Henry on the back, "now you take two of these pills every day, once after breakfast and once after dinner, and I think you'll be as good as new in no time."

Henry smiled, "thanks Dr. John I'm feeling better already."

John smiled as he watched Henry leave his office. He turned to see Kitty sitting in the room, smiled, and walked over to her as she stood. "Well…this is surely a very pleasant surprise." A look of concern ran across his face, "you're not sick are you Kitty?" He gently held her arms.

She shook her head, "no John," she placed her hands on his chest, "I thought I'd take the good doctor out for lunch today…that is if you're not too busy."

He smiled, "I'm never too busy for you. I'll just grab my jacket and we'll be off." Kitty smiled as she watched John return to his office.

After lunch they walked in silence along the water, Kitty's arms wrapped tightly around John's. "John, is there anything wrong?"

"Hmm?" He turned toward her and shook his head, "oh, no."

She watched him closely, "I've come to know you pretty well over the years John Chapman and I think we should sit on that bench over there," she pointed in the direction of where she wanted them to go, "and talk for awhile." He smiled as they walked over and sat down, "now…what's troubling you."

He looked out at the water, placing his arm around her shoulders and running his hand up and down her arm, "Kitty it's really nothing for you to worry about."

She turned toward him and rested her hand on his chest, "John, you've always been there for me. I would like to be there for you."

He turned toward her and kissed her hand, "Matt came to see me early this morning."

Kitty furrowed her brow, "Matt?"

John nodded, "he wanted to thank me for taking care of his children while he was away…and…he was a little upset that I had taken very good care of you."

"He has no right to be upset with you," she tried to keep her temper under control then put her hand on his chest, "you're all right…he didn't hurt you."

John wrapped his arms around her, "no, I'm fine. It was just two men discussing the current situation, that's all it was. I don't want you to worry another second about it. We said what we had to say and now we'll just go on from here." He smiled, "we're going to be fine Kitty."

Kitty was still a little peeved, "I'm sorry he felt the need to discuss it at all!"

He ran his hand up and down her back, "I think it was a good thing. We both now know how the other feels."

She looked up at him, "you are remarkable John."

He smiled, "that I am." She lay her head down on his shoulder, "Kitty, have you had a talk with Matt since he's been back?"

She shook her head, "I haven't seen him in weeks. We keep missing each other at the house."

"Maybe you should, hear what he has to say, talk things over."

She looked up at him again, "John, he didn't say anything to frighten you…did he?"

He chuckled, "no, I just think you're not going to be able to make any decision if you don't talk to Matt."

She shook her head, "I don't know if I'm ready for that."

"Then why don't you invite him over for dinner with the children. That might make you feel more comfortable and then you can talk."

She looked puzzled, "do you want me to go back to Matt?"

He pulled her into a passionate kiss, "that's the last thing I want."

"Then why are you pushing me toward him?"

He smiled, "because I don't want you to ever doubt for one minute that you belong with me."

She smiled as she ran her fingers gently down his face, "oh, John."

He smiled, "unfortunately I have a few patients this afternoon so I have to get back." He kissed her, "would you do me the honor of having dinner with me tonight?"

She smiled, "I'd like that John."

He stood and extended his arm for her to take, "say about seven?"

She stood and smiled, "seven it is."

Maggie sat in the big arm chair relaxing with yarn and a couple of knitting needles. Kitty had left early for the restaurant leaving her in charge of the children for the evening. The front door opened and Matt appeared wearing his courting jacket, white shirt, black tie, and black pants. Maggie smiled as he approached, "well…don't you look handsome."

Matt smiled, "you sure I look all right?"

Maggie nodded, "I'd say more than all right."

Matt smiled at her comment, "good, I was thinking of surprising Kitty tonight. Maybe I'll get a chance to get her alone for a little while."

Maggie smiled, "I think that's a fine idea and I'm sure Miss Kitty will appreciate the gesture."

"I hope so Maggie," he turned toward the door.

"Matt," he turned back toward her, "good luck." Matt nodded and headed out the door.

It was one of the busiest nights at _**Russell's **_as Matt made his way across the room to the bar. As he waited to be served he glanced around the room and smiled at all that Kitty had accomplished. Her establishment was still going strong and he shook his head in wonder how she raised four children and ran a business at the same time. "Matt...Matt Dillon...is that you?"

Matt turned to see Sam standing before him. "Yes, it's me Sam."

Sam extended his hand. "It sure is good to have you back."

Matt shook his hand, "it's mighty good to be back."

"What can I get you?"

"A beer will be fine."

Sam poured the beer as he spoke, "I thought I overheard Miss Kitty mention that you had come home but then I didn't see you and thought I misunderstood." He put the beer in front of Matt as another customer called him. "Excuse me."

Matt nodded, "sure Sam." Matt took a sip of the beer when he heard the familiar jangling of spurs.

"Matthew," Festus continued to roll the barrel behind the bar, "I be over directly." He approached Matt and wiped his hand on his apron before he shook his hand. "thought ya stop in fer a beer…did ya?"

Matt nodded, "that and I thought I'd surprise Kitty to see if I could steal her away for a little while." Matt looked around the room again, "I haven't seen her, do you know if she is in her office?"

Festus got quiet and he put his head down, "Miss Kitty be in her office all right but she be a havin' dinner wit' Dr. Chapman."

Matt tried not to show his disappointment, "oh…I see."

Festus hit his arm, "aw fiddle Matthew I betcha she'd like ta see ya anyway."

Matt shook his head, "no, Festus, I'll see her some other time."

"Well…I have a lil' bit of time comin' ta me. We could sit a spell until she be done then ya can talk wit' her."

"I appreciate it Festus but I think I'll just go on home." Matt put the beer on the bar and started to move away when Festus grabbed his arm.

"Matthew when are ya gonna' say somethin' ta Miss Kitty 'bout seein' Dr. Chapman. Dr. Chapman don't have no busyness seein' her now that yer back."

Matt put his hand on Festus' shoulder, "Festus, I appreciate how you feel but I can't force Kitty to do anything. If she wants to see Dr. Chapman there is nothing I can do about it. I lost that right by staying away so long."

Festus flailed his arms, "fiddle Matthew, ya don't believe that any more than I do."

Matt shook his head, "Festus, there's a time and a place for everything." He patted Festus on the back, "don't worry there's still a lot of fight in me yet. I'll see you later."

"Evenin' Matthew." He watched Matt walk out of the restaurant. He shook his head, "blame stubborn headed ninny."

Matt slowly walked back to Maggie's home. As he entered the living room he flung his jacket over the chair, undid his tie, opened a few buttons on his shirt, and poured a drink. With drink in hand, Matt moved toward the big arm chair and made himself comfortable. He took a sip as he stared into space, his mind deep in thought.

Claire walked into the foyer and saw that Matt was sitting in the chair. She was surprised that he hadn't made an attempt to look her way so she entered the room, "it looks like you were out somewhere special tonight."

Matt slowly looked in her direction, "it was meant to be." He threw down the rest of his drink, "care to join me Claire?"

She smiled, "I think I could use a nightcap."

Matt stood, "a nightcap it is." Claire sat down on the sofa and waited for Matt to return. "Here you go." He sat down next to her, placing his arm on the back of the chair, and lifting his glass, "to faithfulness…a rare commodity."

They clicked glasses as Claire eyed Matt, "Kitty told me that you were a U.S. Marshal. That must have been a very exciting job."

Matt took a sip of his drink, "there were times."

"I've only heard stories about the west but to actually live there…well…you must have many tales to tell."

Matt chuckled, "and a lot of regrets."

Claire looked puzzled, "regrets?"

Matt motioned toward her, "have you ever been married Claire?"

She shook her head, "no."

"Can I ask you why not?"

She shrugged, "I don't know…I guess I just picked men who weren't the marrying kind."

He smiled, "then they were all fools." He threw down his drink and stood to pour another. When he returned he sat closer to her, "we are all fools Claire. We don't realize what we have until it's too late."

She smiled, "whatever problems you and Kitty have are only temporary, I'm sure of it."

Matt shook his head, "no…my wife finds the company of big city doctors more appealing lately." He took a sip of his drink. "I'm not blaming her Claire; I realize I'm to blame for our situation." He chuckled, "I guess I was of the opinion that Kitty would always be waiting…that our love was just that strong." Matt pointed at Claire, "I guess I learned a valuable lesson."

She watched as he took another sip of his drink, the pain he was in evident on his face. They sat in silence for a moment as Claire studied Matt carefully. She now understood why Kitty had stayed in Dodge and would have waited forever for him. Still so very handsome, tall, and muscular she could only imagine how striking a figure he was when he was younger. As her eyes ran the length of his body she thought how lucky Kitty was to have a man like that in love with her. She smiled, "Matt, I just think that Kitty needs a little time and, for what it's worth, I believe her love for you is still very strong."

Matt shook his head, "well…she could have fooled me." He turned his body toward her, "we can't even talk to each other without arguing. Now how am I supposed to win her back when she won't even give me a shot?"

She touched his arm, "Matt, from what Maggie told me Kitty had a hard time after you left. I'm sure there were times she doubted the strength of the love you had for her but according to Maggie she never gave up...and I don't think you should either." She stood, "thanks for the nightcap Matt but I have a busy day tomorrow and I think I'll turn in."

He stood, "thanks for keeping me company Claire…and the talk."

She smiled, "you're welcome."

He touched her arm, "for the record, you would have made someone very happy."

She smiled, "thank you for saying that Matt, I appreciate it."

As she made her way into the foyer Matt called after her. "Claire…maybe we could have a drink again some night…if you don't mind."

She smiled, "that would be nice, good night Matt."

"Good night Claire."

Maggie heard the key in the lock and glanced up to see Kitty coming through the door. Kitty walked into the living room, plopped down on the sofa, and removed her shoes. She rubbed her feet, "what a night!"

"Then I guess there were no arguments?"

Kitty looked puzzled, "well…I suppose the political talk at the bar can get heated sometimes if that's what you mean."

Maggie looked confused, "you didn't see Matt?"

Kitty shook her head, "no, was I supposed to?"

Maggie smiled, "he said that he was going to go to _**Russell's**_ and surprise you." She shook her head, "oh, Miss Kitty he looked so handsome." Maggie went back to her knitting, "don't mind telling you that if I was a few years younger…"

Kitty looked concerned, "he certainly didn't make his presence known if he had. I was there all night." Maggie noticed a change in Kitty's expression, "except when I was having dinner in the office with John."

Maggie waved her hand, "I wouldn't worry. He probably didn't see you and just decided to go home."

Kitty shook her head, "Matt didn't get all dressed up to take a quick peek and then go home. No, I'm sure that either Sam or Festus told him."

Maggie looked concerned, "what are you going to do Miss Kitty?"

Kitty slowly moved her head from side to side, "I don't know Maggie. I know I'm going to have to talk to Matt one of these days."

Maggie nodded, "I'm surprised you haven't by now."

Kitty looked annoyed, "I know…that's the general consensus."

Maggie smiled, "you don't need me, or anyone else for that matter, to tell you what to do. I think you've managed very well up to this point."

Kitty replied sarcastically, "all except my love life."

Maggie waved her hand, "love is a tricky thing."

Kitty took a deep breath, "well…I think I'm going to retire." She stood, "Maggie, I really appreciate you staying with the children tonight," she chuckled, "although they're not so much children anymore." She shook her head, "my how they've grown."

"And we've gotten younger," she winked at Kitty.

Kitty chuckled, "good night Maggie."

"Good night Miss Kitty, pleasant dreams."

Matt was seated in the arm chair sipping a drink when Maggie walked into the foyer. She looked in and took a deep breath before she made her way into the room. "I heard your evening didn't go as planned."

Matt looked up, "did my wife tell you how she was wined and dined this evening?"

Maggie chuckled, "I don't know if having dinner in a restaurant office is a woman's definition of being wined and dined."

Matt looked down, "maybe not." He looked back at Maggie, "I don't know if she is ever going to give me a chance again. By the looks of things she is pretty happy with her life…and John.

Maggie sat down on the sofa, "I believe you still stir something in her that neither John nor any other man can but she has to be cautious."

He took a sip of his drink, "when we were in Dodge I know I disappointed her constantly but I had this job to do and I didn't have a choice. Maybe I got to believing that since she accepted me the way I was that it gave me permission to do what I felt was important at the time." He pointed toward Maggie, "take Caleb for instance, I was told he was dying and I felt my first obligation was to not let him die alone. I thought that Kitty would find that a noble gesture and would agree with my decision. Unfortunately, the doctor carrying the note was killed and things began to unravel after that." Matt paused, "it has taken me too long to realize what should have been important to me so many years ago."

"Matt, I don't think there was ever a day when Kitty wasn't proud of you."

Matt smiled, "that's very nice of you to say Maggie." He took a sip of his drink and smiled, "at least I've established a relationship with my twin boys and Katie and I'm enjoying every moment of it."

Maggie smiled as she stood, "I think it's only a matter of time before the rest of your family comes around. Don't forget Matt, Kitty needs to learn to trust you again."

Matt smiled, "I know Maggie but there are days it is very hard waiting."

Maggie chuckled, "I guess now you know what Miss Kitty went through for so many years. Good night Matt."

Matt nodded, "Good night Maggie."

The Saturday before Thanksgiving was an unseasonably hot day as Matt and Katie took a walk after lunch. It had been a few weeks since Matt had made an attempt to see Kitty and the times that he was at the house she was not at home. Katie was becoming increasingly anxious that her parents might spend the rest of their lives apart. She stared at her father as he looked out over the water, "Daddy, have you and Mom talked about you coming home?"

Matt shook his head, "no, honey, we haven't." Katie hung her head, "what's the matter?"

Katie played with the fabric on her dress, "at this rate you and Mom are never going to get back together."

Matt bent to see her face, "does it really mean that much to you Katie?" She nodded and Matt smiled as he hugged her, "then I'll make it a priority to speak with your mother." Katie's face brightened as she looked up at him, "just remember it's your mother's decision."

Katie smiled, "I know Daddy," she hugged him, "and I just know once you talk to Mom she'll take you back."

Matt laughed, "oh, Katie, there's a lot you need to learn about your mother."

She looked up at him, "I know she loves you and if you don't make her mad then I think everything will be OK."

Matt smiled, "I don't know, it seems I've been making your mother mad very easily lately."

Katie sat up and put her hand on her hip, "then don't make her mad…Daddy."

Matt shot her a look, "easier said than done." He stood and took Katie by the hand. "well…I guess there's no time like the present. Come on…let's see if your mother is home."

As they entered the foyer Kitty was coming toward them in the hallway. "Are you off to the restaurant?"

Kitty nodded, "as it gets closer to the holidays business starts to pick up."

Matt smiled, "I'm glad to see you are still doing well."

Katie was becoming annoyed at her father's inability to get to the point. She decided to intervene, "I'm going to see if Aunt Maggie needs any help…oh and Mom…Daddy wants to talk with you." Katie looked back at Matt and jerked her head in her mother's direction before she disappeared down the hallway.

Kitty looked concerned, "is there something wrong Matt?"

He shook his head, "no, I…well…I…was wondering…if you would like to have dinner some evening."

Kitty smiled, "I'd like that Matt but…"

Before Kitty could finish her sentence Matt put his hands up, "now, Kitty, I know you're pretty busy with the restaurant and all…but …if you could find a night free I'd love to spend some time with you…like we use to."

Kitty chuckled, "I was about to say why don't we have dinner here with the children."

Matt furrowed his brow, "all the children?"

Kitty smiled, "I expect Matthew to be there."

Matt thought a moment, "then you best have some ice on hand," he clutched at his jaw.

Kitty laughed, "oh…I think he has settle down some since then," she stared into his eyes and smiled, "but I'll have some handy just in case."

The two stared into each other's eyes for a time before Matt moved closer to her, "Kitty, I…"

She quickly moved passed him, "Matt you'll have to save that for tomorrow I'm really very late." She opened the door and was gone.

Kitty stepped down from the coach and was walking toward the front door of _**Russell's **_when John came around the corner. "Well…this is my lucky day." Kitty smiled as she moved closer to him and gave him a kiss. Her nervousness didn't escape John, "is there something wrong Kitty?"

She smiled as she waved her hand in dismissal, "oh, no, John, there's nothing wrong."

He eyed her closely, "are you sure? You seem a little unsettled."

She smiled, "I don't know why I think I can fool you." She took a deep breath, "I invited Matt over for dinner tomorrow and I guess I'm a little nervous about it."

He held her by the arms, "are you worried about Matt and Matthew being in the same room?"

She shrugged, "I suppose so…but I think I'm more worried about how I'm going to feel with Matt sitting in front of me."

John smiled, "everything is going to be fine Kitty." He pulled her toward him in a hug.

She looked at him, "John, are you free later?"

"I was just on my way to a boring medical dinner but I should be home around ten."

"Mind if I stop by?"

He smiled, "how could I ever mind? I'll see you at ten at my place." He kissed her then continued on his way to the dinner. Kitty watched him for awhile then turned and walked into the restaurant.

The brightness of the full moon bathed the two figures in a soft white hue as her finger glided up and down the length of the scar on his chest. Her mind wandered back to the day when he lay near death on the path leading to her front door. She took a deep breath as she snuggled under his chin. Kitty was still very worried as John watched her outline the mark on his body. He had never been happier in his life but every time they were together he feared that it was going to be their last. Reluctant to break the silence, and possibly lose her forever, he decided to commit this moment to memory instead. It was only when he felt tears against his skin that he spoke, "honey, are you all right?"

She whispered, "I almost lost you that day John," her finger continuing its route along his skin as he hugged her close. She took a deep breath as she looked up into his eyes, "I don't know what I would have done if you had..."

He kissed the top of her hair, "come on now…let's not think about that." She hugged him tight, "Kitty…is there something else bothering you?"

She shrugged, "it's the limbo that I'm living in John."

He ran his hand up and down her back, "I hate to see you like this." He took a deep breath, "there are days that I think it would be best if I bow out and let you go but then I think of my life without you and I can't…"

Kitty stared into his eyes as she gently touched his face, "you are such a dear, dear man." She put her head down on his chest, "it's not you John."

He continued to rub her back, "then I guess it's Matt."

She nodded, "it frightens me that after all Matt has put me through I could so easily take him back." She waved her hand, "I must be crazy."

He smiled, "no, you're not Kitty, you love him."

She chuckled, "as I said I must be crazy!" She fell silent then sighed before she continued, "I have this reoccurring dream where I had decided to take Matt back. After a few months we settled into life as a family again and I was happy, unbelievably happy. We made love one night and afterward I had never felt so fulfilled in my life. I awoke the next morning in his arms but I could see that there was something wrong. He told me that he wanted to return to the mountains and the young Indian woman he had been living with. That he had come to realize how happy he was with her there and it was she who he really loved." She began to cry, "Oh, John, I'm so afraid that he'll leave me again. He'll look at this old body one day and remember the beautiful young woman he left behind and he'll want to return to her."

John held her close, "then he would be the crazy one." He placed his fingers under her chin and raised her head, "I know you don't want to hear this Kitty but I truly believe Matt when he told you that there was nothing between him and…what was her name…Bright," he snapped his fingers trying to recall.

Kitty whispered, "Moon."

"Right…Bright Moon."

Tears were streaming down her face as she tried so hard to control her emotion, "but how can you be so sure?"

He ran his fingers through her hair, "because once a man falls in love with you every other woman on this earth pales in comparison." He kissed her, "I don't care how old you are you are still the most intelligent, beautiful, loving, compassionate woman I have ever known or will know and, as much as I hate to admit it, I know that goes for Matt too.

She kissed him, "I am so lucky to have you in my life."

He smiled, "no, Kitty, I'm the lucky one."

She sighed. "How can I even think about taking Matt back when I'm so afraid to trust him again?"

He held her tight, "I can't answer that Kitty...I wish I could."

She quickly sat up, "John, I'm so sorry."

John looked puzzled, "about what?"

"It's not right that I should burden you with all my troubles."

He smiled, "your troubles are my troubles."

She shook her head, "well, it's still not right. I should be thinking about us when we're together."

John smiled as he ran his hand down her breast, "well…a few moments ago I thought you were very focused on us."

She reached out and touched his face, "I'm not sure I was all that focused."

His hand continued down her body, "I believe that is what second chances are for." She smiled as he laid her back against the sheets.

Matt walked toward Maggie with drinks in hand. Maggie smiled as she put down her knitting and took the glass from Matt. "Well, it seems my daughter is very happy that we're having dinner tomorrow night."

Maggie smiled, "I would think that you'd be happy too."

Matt looked concerned, "I am Maggie it's just that…well…I don't know how Kitty and I can have a meaningful talk with our children sitting there. I have a feeling she feels more comfortable in a crowd these days." He took a sip of his drink, "it never used to be that way."

Maggie waved her hand, "oh, Matt, you're reading too much into this. Did you ever think that maybe she was finding a way that you and Matthew could talk?"

Matt shrugged, "I thought of that Maggie but somehow I'm not so sure."

Maggie went back to knitting, "well…I think you might have something there. Maybe Miss Kitty can't trust herself around you alone anymore." Maggie grinned. "Sometimes when you two talk you end up communicating in other ways."

Matt shot her an astonished look, "are you saying that we can't control ourselves long enough to talk?"

She nodded, "yep, that's what I'm saying. I mean you have to admit that's been your track record so far."

He grinned, "I guess I love my wife."

She continued knitting, "I think Miss Kitty's idea of the children at dinner was a good one…can't get in too much trouble then."

Matt took a sip of his drink, "doesn't matter how, the fact that we're in the same room having dinner is fine with me."

Maggie looked up at the clock, "you know Matt…Miss Kitty should be coming home soon. If you leave now, you could catch her before she leaves the restaurant. Could be she'd enjoy the company." Matt mulled the idea over for a moment, "I'll watch the children…you go on now."

Matt smiled as he put his glass on the table, "by golly Maggie, that's a real fine idea you have there." Matt stood and headed for the door as Maggie shook her head and smiled.

Kitty wrapped her arms tightly around John's for their walk home. "Are you feeling any better?"

She smiled, "much."

He patted her hand, "I'm very glad to hear that."

As they were approaching the house Matt came down the steps and they all met at the front gate. Matt's eyes darted from one face to the other finally focusing on Kitty's. "I was just about to come down to the restaurant to walk you home but I see the good doctor here has that taken care of."

"Matt…I…"

Matt's eyes focused on John, "I just don't see how you have time for any doctoring these days John when you always seem to be around my wife." John and Matt continued to stare for a moment before Matt's eyes turned back to Kitty. "Maggie is inside so I'm going home. See you for dinner tomorrow Kitty…that is if you haven't changed your mind."

Kitty shook her head, "I haven't changed my mind Matt."

"Good…then I'll be by tomorrow at seven. Now, if you will excuse me." Matt opened the gate and turned to walk down the street.

Kitty watched him return to Maggie's home and sighed. John stepped aside and they walked up the path together to the porch. "Are you all right?"

She smiled, "I'll be fine." She hugged him, "thank you John for easing my mind tonight."

"You know I'm always here for you Kitty."

She looked into his eyes. "You have always been a comfort to me John."

He placed his finger under her chin. "I'm happy to hear that." He kissed her, "good night Kitty…pleasant dreams."

She watched him walk down the path and out to the street. He turned and waved and continued on his way. Kitty smiled and waved but her grin slowly disappeared as she walked into the house.

Maggie was still knitting when Kitty came into the foyer. She looked up, "oh, Miss Kitty, Matt was just on his way to meet you. I hope you didn't miss each other."

She approached Maggie as she sarcastically replied, "no…Maggie…we didn't miss each other."

Maggie put the yarn on her lap, "you didn't argue again…did you?"

Kitty put her head down as she shook it from side to side. "No, but Matt did get an eyeful of John escorting me home."

"Oh, Miss Kitty…"

She stood, "I just don't know what I'm going to do." She began to pace, "I still love Matt." She turned toward Maggie, "if I didn't life would be so much easier."

Maggie looked puzzled, "then what is the problem?"

She resumed her pacing, "I've come to love John too." She turned back to Maggie, "I never thought that would happen but it has." She continued her pacing, "I don't want to hurt either man but I know I can't keep living like this." Maggie watched her move from side to side then Kitty screamed, "Damn Matt for leaving me. We had it all Maggie but it just wasn't good enough for him." She pointed toward her chest, "I wasn't good enough for him."

"Oh, Miss Kitty, I don't believe that and neither do you."

She raised her arms, "then what am I suppose to believe. What man who loves his wife and his children would disappear for twelve years? What man who has the opportunity to come back home after all that time walks away?"

Maggie slowly responded, "at the risk of upsetting you more I have to point out that Matt did come home."

Kitty furrowed her brow, "and he should just resume his rightful place in our lives as if nothing happened?"

Maggie smiled, "I think he would have if Dr. John wasn't in the picture."

"That's the point Maggie; John has always been here to love me and my children. He assumed the role of father and my children are who they are because of him."

Maggie grinned, "There's no denying that…and I suspect he's done an awful lot for you too."

Kitty looked puzzled, "and what's that suppose to mean?"

"That Dr. John made you feel desirable again." Maggie put her hands up, "there's nothing wrong with that Miss Kitty. A woman needs to feel loved and I think Dr. John has done a pretty good job…if you ask me."

Kitty looked annoyed, "well…no one is asking you."

Maggie grinned, "I have no problem keeping my thoughts to myself."

Kitty flailed her arms, "oh…Maggie…I don't know what I'm saying half the time…I'm sorry."

Maggie patted the sofa cushion next to her, "you want a little advice?"

Kitty moved toward the spot, "I need a lot of advice."

"Matt will always be the love of your life and I don't think there is any denying that. I can tell he is still so very much in love with you and, if I'm not mistaken, I believe you still feel the same for him. He is the father to your children and Katie and the twins love him and it's only a matter of time before Matthew comes to love him too. Then there's Dr. John, a man who was by your side all throughout Matt's absence. He has been a good friend, a father to your children, and...your lover."

She shrieked, "Maggie!"

"Miss Kitty I know you wouldn't have been with Dr. John if you didn't love him." She touched Kitty's arm, "we all want to feel loved."

Kitty smiled, "when I'm with John I know that I am everything to him."

"And you don't feel that way with Matt?"

Kitty shook her head, "I always felt that restlessness within him. I think that is why we were so good in Dodge, I didn't expect much from him. I knew he had this job to do and that he would never miss an opportunity to leave town. When he returned, he would make up for the time we were apart and show me again how much I meant to him." She smiled, "you know, Maggie, he would always bring some little gift home just to let me know he was thinking about me." She sighed. "Unfortunately, those happy times never seemed to last long before he'd be off again but somehow it all worked. I guess the mistake I made was thinking that as he got older he could be happy with me anywhere."

Maggie patted Kitty's hand, "I really believe he has changed Miss Kitty. I can't see Matt ever leaving you again."

Kitty quickly stood, "oh…Maggie…I really wish my heart believed that. I'm so afraid of going through that again."

Maggie stood and hugged her friend, "maybe I could believe it for both of us…huh?" She released Kitty, "why don't I make us a nice hot cup of tea and we can discuss this a little more." Kitty smiled, nodded, and followed Maggie into the kitchen.


	40. Getting To Know You

Matt could not remember a time when he was more nervous than he was now standing on the porch about to have dinner with his family. His sweaty palms reached for the door knob as he took a deep breath. Upon hearing the front door open, Katie ran and greeted him with a warm welcome that put him immediately at ease. She smiled as she grabbed his hand and led Matt to the head of the table as she pointed to the place card she had prepared in his name. Her mother was strategically placed next to him, Katie on his left, her brothers the next chairs down. Most of the meal the family sat in silence in spite of Katie's best effort to keep the conversation going. Annoyed by the small talk Matthew wondered when the real issues were going to be discussed. Unable to remain quiet any longer he blurted out. "Why did you leave us?"

Matt looked down at his son. "Looking back on it now I really don't know. I thought I needed to get away for awhile and visit an old friend but I realize now that life doesn't get any better than being with your family."

Matthew stared at Matt, "how could you leave us…we were just babies."

Matt shook his head, "Matthew, maybe I wasn't as prepared to be a father as I thought I was…I don't know."

Matthew furrowed his brow, "you didn't care about us for over twelve years. Why do you want to be our father now?"

Matt laid his fork down and sat back in his chair. "I'm going to do my best to explain and hopefully you'll understand."

Matthew folded his arms across his chest, "I really doubt it."

Kitty glared at her son, "Matthew, let your father talk."

Matthew quickly turned his head in Kitty's direction, "I'm sorry Ma but how can you stick up for him after all he's done to you."

"You're right about that son; your mother has always sacrificed everything for me." Matt took a deep breath as he looked at Katie and then the twins. "I've told your sister and brothers some of this and now I hope I'll be able to explain it well enough to satisfy you."

Matthew frowned, "I'll listen cause Ma wants me to."

Matt looked at Kitty then cleared his throat, "it was right after your mother opened the restaurant, I believe you were about two months shy of your second birthday Matthew. The restaurant was very successful from the start and I was very proud of your mother and all that she accomplished. Your mother became very busy and our time together became less and less. I was offered a job on the police force but your mother thought it was too risky so I turned the offer down." He chuckled, "besides I'm sure your mother had her full of my being in law enforcement." Matt looked over at Kitty and smiled, "so I took care of you and Katie while your mother was at work." Matt put his hands up, "now I don't want you to get the idea that I didn't enjoy taking care of you and being your father because that's not true. I loved every minute of the time we spent together but I guess I needed to," Matt ran his hand through his hair, "oh, I don't know, make a living or something. Maybe it bruised my male ego to have your mother taking care of the family and I just felt I needed a change. So I decided visiting my friend Caleb Nash in the Colorado Mountains for a couple of weeks might just do the trick." Matt paused a moment. "Matthew, in all the time I was away, there was never a day I didn't think about you, your sister, and your mother...and that's the truth of it."

Matthew snickered, "I find that hard to believe...Dad."

Matt took a deep breath. "Anyway…Caleb became ill and I wanted him to see the doctor before I left. When the doctor finally arrived he told me that Caleb was dying and didn't have much longer to live. I couldn't very well leave him there to die alone so I gave the doctor a note asking him to send a telegram to your mother, explaining what had happened, and that I would be home as soon as I could. It took a few months before Caleb died late one afternoon. I buried him and since nightfall was coming on I decided to start back the next morning but when I woke a blizzard had hit overnight and I was snowed in." Matt shook his head, "once it starts snowing up there you are pretty well stranded so I had to wait until the first thaw. I was so anxious to get home that as soon as the path was clear to travel I quickly grabbed my things and got on my horse. Before I got too far I was shot, twice so I've been told, and hit my head pretty hard."

"Oh, Daddy, you didn't tell me that…how horrible!" Katie put her left hand over her mouth and Matt grabbed her right hand and squeezed it. "Had no idea who did it but when I came to I was in a cabin with a family of Indians."

"Real Indians, sir?" Russell looked down at his father wide eyed.

Matt turned his attention to him, "yes, Russell, they were real Indians. I'm not even sure how long I was unconscious but I slowly began to recover. The doctor came through and Little Fawn insisted that I let him take a look at me."

"Little Fawn, Daddy?"

Matt smiled, "yes Katie, Little Fawn was the wife of Running Fox. Brave Bear and Running Fox were the ones who found me and brought me to their cabin. Brave Bear was Running Fox's father."

Katie put her hands under her chin and stared at Matt, "oh, Daddy, this is so interesting, please go on." Matthew made a face.

"When the doctor arrived he was a different doctor than the one who took care of Caleb. I asked him what had happened to Dr. Danvers and he told me he was killed and that a family heading west found him and buried him some time ago. At that point I figured that the telegram never reached your mother and that she probably believed I had deserted her." Matt looked at Kitty and their eyes locked for a moment before he looked back at the children. "One night I was sitting on the porch and Little Fawn knew there was something wrong. I showed her the pictures that I had brought with me of your mother, you, and your brother and she convinced me that I must go home." Matt shook his head, "I was so nervous when I stepped off that train and walked from the depot to the house. The house was dark when I got there and then I found a note your mother left for your Aunt Maggie telling her that my family and Uncle John had gone away for a couple of weeks. I didn't know what to do at first but eventually thought I'd stay for awhile and wait for you to come back home. The longer I waited I got it in my head that I was no longer a part of your lives and thought it best if I left and never again tried to contact you. After all the time I was away I felt I owed it to you to let you live your lives and be happy. I just need you to know that it wasn't an easy decision but one I thought I had to make." Matt paused. "So I went back to the mountains and to the Indian family I had been living with. Little Fawn was very disappointed to see me but she welcomed me back into her family. A couple of years later Little Fawn took sick and before the doctor could get to us she died."

Katie inhaled quickly, "oh no!"

Matt squeezed her hand, "it wasn't the same in the cabin after that. Little Fawn was a good woman and a good friend to me. Her dying wish was that I would go home." He patted Katie's hand, "and that was one promise I was very anxious to keep. Before I left, Running Fox asked that I go hunting with him to help with the provisions for the winter. He was returning with an antelope we had caught when he was shot and killed."

Katie furrowed her brow, "oh, Daddy, this is very sad."

Matt squeezed her hand, "he made me promise that I would take care of his two children so I stayed and helped Brave Bear take care of his two grandsons."

Matthew sat forward, "so you're saying that they were more important to you than us?"

Kitty was becoming annoyed, "Matthew, now stop it!"

"Ma…"

"I won't have you talking to your father like that!"

Matthew was becoming more frustrated, "I still don't know why you're taking his side. You've been miserable Ma."

"Matthew, no one is more important to me than you, your sister, and your brothers but I knew you had many people to take care of you here. Those Indians saved my life so the least I could do was make sure that their children had a good home." Matt took a deep breath, "I know I deprived all of us of growing together as a family and that's what I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I can never make my absence up to you but I needed to tell you why I made the decisions I made…now whether you accept me or not is your choice."

"Go ahead Daddy, don't pay any attention to Matthew," Katie looked over at her brother with a steely glare.

Matt smiled at Katie's facial expression, "so I trapped and the money I received from the pelts gave us food and any materials we needed. One day an outlaw who escaped from prison found me at the cabin. He was going to kill me but I got the better of him and decided that I best bring him in to Dodge where your Uncle Newly would make sure he'd be returned to prison. We were on our way when I was ambushed for the pelts I was carrying and…"

Matthew interrupted, "is that when you were stabbed and Ma had to go to Dodge?"

Matt shook his head, "I woke to find your mother sitting in a chair by my bed. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw her moving toward me. She was still so very beautiful." Matt smiled as he stared at Kitty and squeezed her hand. "It meant so much to me that she was there."

"Then why didn't you come back home with Ma? Why did you walk away from her?"

"Matthew, I don't know if I can answer that question so that it will make any sense."

"None of this makes sense Dad. You left her standing there alone after all she went through to be with you.

Kitty raised her voice, "Matthew! I'm not going to tell you again!"

Matthew looked at Kitty, "no, Ma, he needs to hear this." He leaned forward to look at Matt. "You didn't have to hear Ma crying herself to sleep every night like I did. You didn't have to watch her putting on like she was happy when all she wanted to do was worry about you. She waited for years for some word and when she finally got that telegram she couldn't wait to leave and see you again. No, Father, I think you owe us all an explanation."

Matt looked at Kitty and then back at Matthew. "Son, I was coming back with your mother, had the ticket and all. We were in the Long Branch when a soldier came in and announced that he was looking for an old friend of mine. Seems my friend escaped prison and I felt that I had to find him before the soldier did. What I didn't know was that my friend had escaped prison to warn me that another prisoner was released from jail and was headed to Dodge to kill me. You see, when I was Marshal, this man had tried to kill me once before. He was a notorious outlaw and one of the fastest draws, if not the fastest, that anyone had ever seen. Back then he came to Dodge looking for me and very early on made his intention to kill me very clear to your mother. She knew that she had to do something to get him to lose focus enough so I would stand a chance. This man beat your mother but that didn't stop her from doing whatever she could to save my life. When I rode into town this man challenged me to a gunfight and, thanks to your mother, I was only wounded and this man went to prison." Matt looked over at Kitty and took her hand, "your mother is the strongest and bravest woman I have ever known."

"You still haven't told us why you didn't return with Ma and why you left her in Dodge."

He looked back at his son, "I'm getting to that Matthew."

Matthew waved his hand in dismissal, "you probably don't have a good reason."

Kitty turned to face her son but before she could say a word Matthew apologized. "Sorry Ma."

Matt took a deep breath, "while I was away searching for my friend this outlaw came back to Dodge and found your mother in the Long Branch. He sent your Uncle Newly after me because he wanted to settle a score from years before. When I came back to Dodge I was told that he was holding your mother up in his hotel room. Somehow your mother was able to throw his gun and holster out the window giving me enough time to enter his room and punch him out the hotel window."

Joseph looked at his father wide eyed, "you mean he fell from the window down to the street?"

"Yes, Joseph, but unfortunately it didn't kill him. When I walked out onto the boardwalk he was just getting to his feet and going for his gun belt. I think he must have still been stunned from the fall because I managed to kill him and I know that wouldn't have been possible if it wasn't for your mother."

"So if Ma did so much to save you how could you just leave her standing there?"

Matt took another deep breath, "Matthew when I looked up in that window and saw your mother bruised and crying I realized that I had caused her such pain for so many years." He turned back to Kitty, "I love your mother and I thought if I left she would be free to find a better life." He looked back at his son, "I don't know if that makes sense to you but your mother could have been killed that day because of me. I know you think it wasn't right but seeing the way your mother looked I thought leaving her would be the only way she would ever be safe."

Matthew leaned forward and laid his arms on the table, "but how could you not even talk to her? How come you couldn't tell her that then?"

Matt put his hand up to stop Kitty from talking. "Matthew, I know you won't believe this but I do love your mother very much and..."

Matthew sat back in his chair, "yeah, you're right, I don't believe it."

Matt stared at Matthew for a moment without a clue as to how he was going to reach him. It did please Matt to see how much Matthew loved his mother and if it was true that time heals all wounds then Matthew would eventually come around; Matt just needed to be patient. Matt looked around the table at his children's faces and smiled. Kitty had done a fine job raising them as he knew she would. Matt broke the silence, "Sitting alone in the cabin made me realize how much I missed my family. I've missed out on so much of your lives but I want you to know that will never happen again. I will always be here and one day I hope you will come to love me as much as I love you." Matt wiped his mouth with his napkin and stood, "I guess I better be going home."

Katie watched her mother as her father turned to leave and was relieved when she stood and followed Matt to the front door. Katie stood and peered around the wall of the hallway and watched her parents standing in the foyer. Matthew furrowed his brow and walked toward his sister, "what are you looking at Katie?"

She whispered and pointed down the hall, "them…they're so cute together."

Matthew rolled his eyes, "girls."

"You wouldn't think that if Becky was the one who said it Matthew. Anything she says is always so dreamy." She put her clasped hands under her chin and battered her eyes.

"I'm warning you Katie."

"Oh, and what are you going to do?" She pointed toward Matt and Kitty. "Remember…our parents are right down the hall."

He grabbed Katie and began to tickle her. Katie was trying desperately to break away as she howled in laughter. Matt turned toward the noise, "what's going on down the hall?"

Kitty waved her hand in dismissal, "Matt, it's just our son and daughter teasing each other."

"Shouldn't we try to stop it?" Matt turned to head down the hallway.

She grabbed his arm, "no, they'll eventually get tired."

Unable to break away Katie yelled, "Maaaaaaaa."

Matt looked at Kitty and she put her hand up. "Matthew, Katie, your father and I would like a little quiet…please?"

"But Ma she started it."

"I did not you started to…"

Kitty raised her voice, "children…a little quiet…please!"

You could hear a pin drop as Kitty came back to the door and Matt smiled. "I'm going to have to take some lessons on how to deal with bickering siblings."

Kitty smiled, "it's easy once you get the hang of it." They stared into each other's eyes. "I'm sorry that Matthew was so hard on you tonight Matt."

Matt waved his hand, "I didn't mind it. It'll give him something to think about and with any luck we might manage a father son relationship."

She put her hand on his arm, "I hope so Matt, I really do."

Matt held her hand, "and what about you?"

She looked puzzled, "what about me?"

"I would like to rekindle our husband wife relationship." He took her by the arms, "spend some time with me Kitty, let's sit and talk. I don't care where or when…I'll leave that up to you."

She smiled, "why don't we have dinner Monday next. Pick me up here at seven and I'll pick the place."

Matt smiled, "I'll be here." He leaned down and kissed her under the watchful eyes of their daughter. Katie smiled when she saw her father tenderly touch her mother's face before he left. She headed up the back stairs to her room more hopeful than she had ever been before.

It had been the longest week in Katie's young life but now the day had finally arrived; her parents were going out to dinner. She walked into her mother's bedroom while Kitty was securing her earring. "Oh, Mom, you look so beautiful. I bet Daddy is going to think so too!"

Kitty looked at her daughter through the reflection in the mirror, "Katie, we are just having dinner. Your father and I have a lot to talk over."

Katie waved her hand, "I know Mom, Daddy already told me it was your decision to make."

Kitty turned and faced her daughter, "he did?"

Katie nodded, "he wants to come home Mom but he says that's up to you." Katie put her hand on Kitty's shoulder, "I sure hope you choose Daddy." Katie heard the front door open, "I bet that's him." She quickly ran from the room and met her father at the front door. "Daddy you look so handsome."

Matt smiled and bent to whisper. "Let's hope your mother thinks so."

Katie nodded, "oh…she will!"

Kitty began her descent to the foyer, "and what are you two conspiring about?"

Katie looked up at her mother, "I was just telling Daddy how handsome he looks. Don't you think so Mom?"

Kitty smiled, "your father is a very handsome man Katie."

Matt stared at Kitty as Katie elbowed him, "don't you think Mom looks beautiful tonight Daddy?"

Matt smiled, "your mother is always the most beautiful woman in any room but tonight she is exceptionally beautiful." He extended his arm for her to take, "shall we go?" She smiled as she took his arm. When they reached the door Matt turned to her, "where are we going anyway?"

Kitty smiled, "it's a surprise."

He held the door open for her, "I love surprises." Katie stood in the foyer until the door closed. She ran to the window and watched her parents walk arm in arm down the path then climb into the waiting coach.

They stopped in front of the Chateau Hotel. Matt helped Kitty out of the coach and took her hand as they made their way to the restaurant inside the hotel. After they were seated Matt looked around the room. "This brings back a lot of memories Kitty." He reached over to take her hand, "thank you for choosing this place."

Kitty smiled, "I was hoping you'd remember it."

He smiled, "we spent our first breakfast here as man and wife…how could I not remember it." He nodded, "I will never forget our wedding day for as long as I live." He ran his thumb across the back of her hand, "you were your most beautiful that day."

Kitty dismissed his comment with a wave of her hand, "oh, Matt, I was as big as a house."

He continued to caress her hand, "that day meant everything to me Kitty."

Kitty's eyes began to water as the waiter approached the table, "may I take your order?"

Matt smiled, "if we could just have a few moments, my wife and I were just reminiscing and didn't have a chance to look at the menu."

The waiter smiled. "But, of course, take your time. Many people come here to commemorate a special occasion. Are you going to be staying here this evening?"

They stared at each other before Matt smiled, "we hadn't planned on it but…you never know."

The waiter nodded, "excellent, then I will be back later when you've had a chance to look over the menu."

As the waiter walked away Kitty turned to Matt, "now, Matt, I didn't make any arrangements for us to spend the night here and…"

Matt smiled as he took her hand again, "Kitty, I said that for our waiter's sake. I know you need some time to sort things out and I have no problem waiting." He kissed her hand, "after all is said and done I hope that one day you'll give me a chance to recreate that night. I would love to show my wife again how much her love means to me."

Kitty smiled, "oh, Matt."

"I mean it Kitty. I love you and will never stop loving you." They stared into each other's eyes for a moment before Matt grabbed a menu. "Now, why don't we give these a look over and give our order. Then we can get back to talking about us." Kitty smiled as she took the menu off the table.

It had been many years since Matt could remember a morning when he felt better than this. It had been a long twelve years apart from Kitty but all that was behind him now. He stretched as the aroma of bacon made his stomach rumble. He quickly dressed and made his way down the back stairs. Maggie turned as Matt entered the kitchen whistling. "I thought I'd make pancakes this morning Matt…is that all right with you or would you like something else."

Matt smiled as he moved closer to the plate of bacon. He picked up a strip and broke off half of it in his mouth. "It's really a fine day today…isn't it Maggie?"

She looked puzzled, "it's dark, dreary, and has been steadily raining since before dawn."

He sat down at the table after pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Nothing can ruin this day for me."

Maggie smiled, "I take it your evening went well?"

He took a sip of the coffee, "better than well." He took a deep breath, "Maggie, it was like old times."

"So…do you think?"

"I can't be sure but I think I'm a lot closer than I was a week ago." He smiled, "and I hope I gave her something to think about."

Maggie put the pancakes in front of him. "Well...at least you didn't argue."

Matt grinned, "no, I'd say arguing was the last thing on our minds last night."

Maggie placed her hand on Matt's shoulder, "I'm happy for both you and Miss Kitty…now…don't have any setbacks."

He shook his head as he took his first bite, "I don't intend to Maggie. We're finally enjoying being with each other again. I'm not going to do anything to mess that up."

She patted his back, "do you need anything else Matt?"

He shook his head, "nothing I need except to thank you for all you've done for me. I really don't know how I can ever repay you."

Maggie smiled, "seeing you and Miss Kitty happy again will be all the repayment I need. Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to get ready."

Matt nodded, "thanks for the good breakfast Maggie."

She smiled, "you're welcome." Matt watched her move toward the stairs and then went back to finishing his meal.

Kitty woke early, grabbed her robe, and headed toward the kitchen. When she opened the door to her bedroom Katie was sitting in the hallway. She looked up at her mother, "what happened last night Mom?"

Kitty looked surprised, "how long have you been sitting out here?"

"Uh…not long but aren't you going to tell me?"

Kitty bent down and helped her daughter to her feet. "Your father and I had a very nice evening but we still have a few things to work out so don't go looking for him in there just yet." She pointed toward her room.

Katie dropped her head in disappointment. Kitty sighed as she gently lifted her daughter's head, "Katie why don't you go back to bed and we'll talk about this later…all right?" She hugged her daughter, "and don't worry about your father and I, we'll work something out, we always do." Katie nodded then headed for her room.

In the early morning hour Kitty was alone in the kitchen. She brewed the coffee, poured a cup, and sat at the table with her thoughts. She smiled when she remembered the night before and how close she came to accepting Matt's tempting offer of staying the night. If it wasn't for her stubborn insistence that they take it slow she would be lying in his arms right now. She sighed as she recalled his arms sliding around her waist and pulling her close while his lips said the sweetest good night. Maggie watched Kitty for awhile as she sat with a faraway look. "I will admit…Matt had a totally different reaction to last evening's festivities."

Kitty looked up and smiled, "now…how do you know I'm not thinking about the children, or the restaurant, or any number of other things."

Maggie smiled, "because you're not."

Kitty was still grinning. "No, I'm not." She stood and poured another cup of coffee. "Oh, Maggie, I hope I'm not setting myself up for a fall."

Maggie moved toward the sink, "well, by Matt's behavior this morning I'd say you weren't."

"Oh? How is he behaving?" Maggie turned toward Kitty. "Look at me Maggie…a grown woman acting like a school girl with her first crush."

Maggie chuckled, "well then I'm here to tell you you're not the only one." Maggie began to rinse the vegetables, "what I will say is that Matt is in an exceptionally good mood, best mood I've seen him in the past few weeks." She turned back toward Kitty, "I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Kitty smiled as she walked over to Maggie, "it was like we were never apart. We talked and laughed and…well…it was like we were falling in love all over again." She chuckled, "I don't know why I was so afraid."

"So…did you by any chance discuss a next date?"

Kitty waved her hand, "we left it open but I'm sure we'll make time in the next few days."

Maggie smiled, "the way Matt's been acting it might be in the next few hours!" She turned to Kitty and hugged her, "I'm happy for both of you."

"I know you are Maggie."

"Now…what would you like for breakfast?"

Kitty looked up at the clock, "nothing for me thanks. I better get a move on and get to the restaurant. We've been getting so busy lately and I want to take inventory before we open." Maggie smiled as she watched Kitty walk up the back stairs then she turned to continue rinsing the vegetables. Halfway through her chore she thought about John Chapman and how heartbroken he was going to be when he heard the news.

Matt slowly lowered his long body into the arm chair and picked up the newspaper. He couldn't get Kitty, or the night before, out of his mind since he had risen this morning. More than once he thought about going to see her but he had promised to honor her wish of taking it slow and he intended to do so. His daydream was interrupted by a knock on the door and as he looked up his heart began to race. Thinking it was Kitty; he took a few long strides to the door and took a deep breath as he reached for the knob. Captain Eric Fournier smiled, "I heard you had come home, I guess I had to find out if the rumors were true."

Matt stepped aside and ushered him in. He closed the door and extended his hand, "it's good to see you again Eric."

"It's good to see you again too Matt." He looked around, "do you have a moment to talk?"

Matt smiled, "That's about all I do lately. Please, let's go sit inside. Can I get you anything to drink Eric?"

"No, I'm fine." Matt sat in the arm chair and Eric on the sofa. "Your daughter Katie told me that you were living down here. I was a little surprised to hear that."

Matt nodded, "it's a temporary arrangement Eric. As you can well imagine Kitty needs some time to adjust. Twelve years is a long time."

Eric put his hand up, "oh, I understand. How is everything coming along with your family?"

"I have a great relationship with my daughter and my twin boys. Matthew is taking a little more time but I think Kitty and I are finally starting to get back on track." Matt shook his head, "it hasn't been easy."

"It must have been quite a shock to everyone when you returned home. I have to be honest with you Matt I just can't imagine a man wanting to stay away from his family for so long."

Matt shook his head, "I didn't intend for it to be that long but a few things happened along the way and when I did come home I guess I misunderstood the situation here. I got it in my head that my family was happier without me in their lives."

Eric nodded, "I suppose you're referring to Dr. Chapman and Kitty?" Matt nodded. "For what it's worth, it never looked like they were anything more than very good friends. I know Dr. Chapman was very fond of Kitty and would do anything to keep her safe but I honestly didn't see more than that…well…maybe after he was shot."

Matt furrowed his brow, "shot?"

Eric nodded, "it seems a woman the doctor knew from his childhood latched on to him and had it in her mind that Kitty was a threat to her. She threatened to kill Kitty if she saw her with Dr. Chapman. He alerted me and I had her watched round the clock, without Kitty knowing of course." He shook his head, "I think we were all surprised when Dr. Chapman proposed to Regina." He paused a moment and shook his head, "anyway one night Dr. Chapman was walking up the path to Kitty's home and this woman came out of nowhere and shot him. She would have shot Kitty too if I hadn't been there." Eric sat back on the sofa, "yeah, it was touch and go there for awhile for Dr. Chapman but Kitty was there by his side all throughout his recovery." He shrugged, "maybe after that they might have gotten closer I have no way of knowing." Matt sat stunned as Eric continued, "well, enough of that, the real reason I came here today Matt was to see if you had any interest in being a consultant to the New Orleans police department."

With his mind still trying to absorb what Eric had just told him he looked up, "I'm sorry…what was that you said?"

"I was just saying that I was wondering if you had any interest in being a consultant to the New Orleans police department."

Matt thought a moment, "what would that entail?"

"Mostly being called in when we had a very troubling case and giving us a fresh pair of eyes. I feel your extensive experience in law enforcement is invaluable to a department like ours. I know that Kitty had strong objections about you becoming a detective but this job is a totally different."

Matt mulled the offer over, "you know Eric, it just might do me some good to get out and feel useful again. It will be interesting to see how you solve crimes here in the big city." He put his hands up, "now I don't want to go stepping on anyone's toes so only if you're sure everyone agrees that I will be an asset to your department…then you got yourself a consultant."

Eric stood and extended his hand, "Matt, I know that this is going to work out for both of us." As they walked toward the foyer Eric continued, "I'll let you know when we have our next briefing and we'll go from there." Matt opened the door and Eric again extended his hand, "thanks again Matt, I'll be in touch." Matt closed the door and smiled. His life was beginning to fall into place but now he needed to find out a little bit more about how he almost lost Kitty to a crazed woman's bullet.

Matt strolled along the banks of the Mississippi deep in thought. He had spent a quiet lunch with his disappointed daughter and it broke his heart. He tried very hard to convince her that the evening went very well but she was tired of both her parent's words. City life was still just as suffocating but spending time with his children made up for this occasional feeling of confinement. The more he thought about the job Eric had proposed doubt and second guessing crept into his mind. His impulsive acceptance was now replaced by questions and hesitation. There was no doubt in his mind that Kitty was going to be upset when she heard and would most likely give her cause to wonder if proceeding further with the reconciliation was worth it. He could hear her accusation now that he again chose the law over her and he worried that would make John an even more attractive suitor. If Kitty and he were together he would have refused the position but not knowing which way she was leaning he couldn't spend the rest of his life living with Maggie and not contributing to her household. He sat on one of the benches and took a deep breath as he looked out at a passing boat and blankly stared at the water until dusk. He slowly rose, took a deep breath, and headed home.

Matt reached the porch as Maggie was leaving the house, "enjoy your walk?"

Matt smiled and nodded, "always good to clear your head."

She touched Matt's arm, "I left you some stew on the stove. Maybe, if you're a mind, we can talk about that need to clear your head later."

He smiled, "I always need your sage counsel Maggie."

She patted his arm, "see you later." Matt watched Maggie until she reached Kitty's then he entered the house. He poured a drink before dinner and sat in the arm chair. In the stillness, he began to see clearly how the bond between Kitty and John had developed and he wondered if he was up against insurmountable odds. Even though it was John who brought this crazed woman into his family's life, it didn't make him feel any less guilty for not being there to protect her. He quickly threw back the rest of his drink when an image of Kitty lying dead in the front yard ran through his mind. He rose to pour another drink when a knock at the door startled him. He slowly walked into the foyer and was surprised to see Matthew standing in the doorway.

Matt smiled, "is everything all right at home Matthew?"

Matthew nodded, "I suppose so. I was just on my way home from Tommy's and I thought I'd see if you were home."

Matt waved his arm for Matthew to enter the house then pointed toward the living room. "Why don't we go inside and sit down?" Matthew sat on the sofa, "can I get you anything son?" Matthew shook his head, "so…how can I be of help?"

Matthew looked annoyed, "why do you think I need help?"

Matt took a deep breath as he sat in the arm chair, "all right then why don't you tell me what's on your mind."

Matthew sat back on the sofa, "I've been giving a lot of thought to what you said the other night."

Matt nodded, "I was hoping you would."

He took a deep breath, "I know Ma doesn't want to talk about it but she was always so sad while you were away." Matthew shook his head slowly from side to side, "I never understood why she kept thinking and worrying about you. It didn't make much sense to me."

Matt stared at Matthew for a moment, "I never stopped loving your mother either son." Matt smiled, "when you're a little older you might come to understand how your mother and I feel. A love like ours is pretty rare."

Matthew looked down at his hands, "my brothers are pretty lucky. They don't know how it feels to have their father leave them. In the beginning, Ma told me that you were only going to be away for a couple of weeks so I would sit at the window every day hoping that I'd see you coming down the street." He paused, "eventually I stopped looking." Matt swallowed hard, pain evident on his face. "Uncle John helped me a lot and it was nice to know he was there for me…well…except for the time that woman Regina was around. She didn't like us so we didn't see Uncle John much after that but then Uncle Frank came but he left too after a few months. I'm not sure why Uncle John came back after awhile but I was pretty happy that he did. I finally had me a dad." Tears began to well in Matthew's eyes and afraid that his father was going to see his tears he kept staring at his hands. "I got in a fight at school because some kids said I didn't have a dad and they said some bad things about Ma too. Uncle John said I handled myself real well and that they wouldn't be bothering me anymore…and they didn't. I had never seen Ma as happy as when she left for Dodge and even though you were hurt she really believed that you were going to be all right and that you'd be coming home…I guess I started to believe that too." Matthew took a deep breath, "After she came home, I got to thinking that maybe you didn't want to come home because you didn't want us…or maybe it was just me…I don't know. I figured it wasn't right for a boy my age to be hurt by that so I guess I got angry instead. I hated it whenever anyone would mention you because if you didn't love me I wasn't going to love you. Then you came back and I didn't know what to feel…still not sure." Matthew sat quiet for awhile, "you should know that Uncle John surely has been a good father to us but…he isn't my dad." Matthew shrugged, "that's all I really wanted to say." He quickly stood and headed for the door. Matt jumped up and grabbed him by the arm to pull him back. Matthew closed his eyes trying to hide the tears from his father but as he slowly opened them he stared into Matt's watery eyes. He grabbed Matt tight and began to cry. Matt hugged his son and kissed the top of his head. "I missed you Dad."

"I missed you too Matthew."

"I'm sorry I hit you when you came home."

Matt chuckled, "you made me proud, son."

Matthew looked up at his father as he wiped away the tears. "I did?"

Matt nodded, "there was a time or two I wanted to do that to my father but I was too young…wouldn't have packed much of a wallop."

Matthew stared wide eyed, "you did?"

Matt hugged him again, "yep, but that's a story for another day." Father and son held each other for a moment then Matt took Matthew by the shoulders. "I'm glad you decided to stop by Matthew."

Matthew nodded, "me too Dad."

"Now, you better be getting home. I think your Aunt Maggie must have dinner on the table by now." He walked Matthew to the door, "say, Matthew, would you like to go fishing one day soon?"

Matthew smiled, "sure would Dad."

"Good, how about this weekend…that is, if you don't have any plans."

Matthew shook his head, "no plans Dad."

Matt nodded, "OK then, Saturday morning, around six?"

Matthew smiled, "I'll be ready."

As Matthew turned toward the door Matt pulled him into a hug, "I want you to know that I'm going to do everything I can to be a dad you can be proud of."

Matthew looked up at his father and smiled, "I already am Dad. See you Saturday." Matt smiled as he watched his son walk down the path and out to the street. He slowly closed the door as his eyes filled with tears.

It seemed to Maggie that Matt hadn't cleared his mind much as she stood in the entranceway to the living room. Not acknowledging her presence she slowly moved toward him, "well, now, it doesn't seem that your walk resolved much."

Matt slowly looked up and smiled, "Matthew came to see me this evening."

Maggie sat on the sofa, "you know, I swore that boy looked happier at the table tonight. It was a good talk, I'm thinking."

Matt took a deep breath, "Maggie…I'm a lucky man."

She nodded, "there's no denying that."

He shook his head, "I never thought my leaving would have made any impact on Matthew but he told me tonight that he sat at the window every day after I left waiting for me to come home…tore me up inside to hear him say that Maggie."

"I know you thought you wouldn't be missed, but you were."

Matt looked away. "I've been such a fool; I almost threw away my life here for…"

Maggie looked puzzled, "threw away this life for what?"

He looked back at Maggie, "right before I was stabbed I had made the decision that my place was with the Indian boys. After their father died I wanted to bring them back to their people but their grandfather demanded that they remain in the cabin. He was very old and I figured it wouldn't be much longer before he died and I could go through with my plan." Matt shook his head, "but he hung on longer than I expected and when so much time had passed I convinced myself that I wouldn't be welcome if I came home. The morning that I was going out to hunt I had asked Bright Moon to be my wife." Matt ran his fingers through his hair, "it's funny to think that an outlaw was responsible for bringing me home but if Logan hadn't stabbed me, and someone from Dodge hadn't found me, well..." He shook his head, "I would have died with strangers after living a meaningless life."

Maggie stared at Matt, "Matt, you didn't…I mean…you hadn't…um…Bright Moon wasn't your wife in other ways...was she?"

Matt smiled, "no, Maggie." Matt put his hand up, "not that she didn't try to find ways for us to be together but I loved Kitty and there is no other woman in the world that can compare with her."

Maggie smiled, "I'm very glad to hear that."

"But, like my wife, there comes a time when you need companionship and I thought if I was going to spend the rest of my life in the mountains she could offer me some comfort every now and again."

Maggie's annoyance was swift, "Matt Dillon that wasn't a very easy decision for Kitty to make. If you want to blame someone than blame me since I was the one who encouraged her."

Matt looked puzzled, "you?"

"Yes, Matt. After you walked away from her without a word in Dodge your actions told her to move on with her life, I was figuring. Dr. John was mighty good to her and he truly loves her…I didn't see any harm."

Matt smiled, "Can't blame anyone else but myself Maggie." He paused, "as I traveled back to the cabin I could think of nothing else but Kitty. I could see her face, see her smile, and feel her touch." He shook his head, "being with her again only reinforced that there was no other woman in the world for me and that I had to take the chance to come home and see if we still had a life together."

Maggie smiled, "well…I'm very glad you did. As you can see your family is very happy that you returned."

He rolled his eyes, "all except my wife."

Maggie waved her hand in dismissal, "oh, she knows who she wants to be with. She's just taking things slow," Maggie paused, "you hurt her deeply Matt, she just needs some time to get over that."

He nodded, "I know Maggie and I'm doing my best to give her all the time she needs."

Maggie stood, "good boy…now if you'll excuse me I think I'm going to retire for the night."

Matt stood, "good night Maggie and thanks."

She shook her head, "lands sake Matt I haven't done anything but listen to you. I told you, your being here is just so I can keep my eye on you." She winked.

"Well…you're doing a good job."

"Good night Matt," she smiled as she walked toward the stairs.

Kitty and Maggie's morning coffee was interrupted by the children entering the kitchen for breakfast. Both women stood and continued preparing the food when Katie casually mentioned, "Matthew went to see Daddy last night."

Kitty turned and walked toward the table as Matthew turned to Katie annoyance clear in his voice, "Katie…"

"You did Matthew?"

Matthew looked up at his mother. "Aw, Ma, I was going to tell you but I wanted it to be more private like." He glared over at his sister.

She laid her hand on his shoulder and smiled, "we'll talk later…OK?"

She turned to Katie as a knock on the door interrupted her thought. "I'll get it Mom." Katie quickly hopped off her chair and ran to the door. Hoping to see her father she swung the door open wide only to find Frank standing in the doorway. "Uncle Frank!"

Frank couldn't believe his eyes, "I just don't believe what I'm seeing… Katie?"

She nodded, "it's me."

"When I left you were this tall," Frank straightened his arm to show how high. "Now look at you." He chuckled, "there's no denying who your mother and father are."

Wondering what was keeping Katie so long Kitty made her way to the front of the house. "Frank Reardon!"

Frank turned and walked toward her. "There's the happy woman of the house." He picked her up and twirled her around the room.

"Now…Frank Reardon…you put me down."

Frank honored her request, "you get more beautiful everyday…you know that Kitty?"

She smiled, "you are certainly in a good mood."

"I surely am. I've decided that the Montana winters are getting too harsh for these old bones of mine and now that Matt's back I figured I would make my home down here with the two of you. I might even find me a filly that might not mind old Frank's company." He looked around, "where is Matt anyway? Now…don't tell me he's still sleeping. You know I just knew this soft living would make him lazy."

Katie closed the door and walked back to the kitchen while Kitty took Frank into the living room. They sat on the sofa, "he's not living here Frank."

Frank looked puzzled, "what?"

"We decided to take our reconciliation a little slow, that's all."

Frank shook his head, "with all the blame stupid things he's done in the past ...well…this is the craziest."

Kitty looked down, "it wasn't his idea Frank…it was mine."

Frank was totally confused, "now that don't sound like you Kitty…something must have happened."

She waved her hand, "Frank it's a long story."

He smiled, "I got plenty of time."

Kitty dismissed him, "some other time Frank."

Frank looked disappointed, "OK," He paused, "wait a minute. This doesn't have anything to do with that snappy dressed doctor you were so worried about the last time I was here…does it?"

Again Kitty tried to dismiss discussing the subject, "we'll talk about it later."

"Cause it doesn't make any sense to me that you'd want to be with him and not Matt."

Kitty's voice relayed her annoyance, "Frank…I said we'll talk about this later."

Frank knew he touched a nerve as he reached over and held her hand, "all right Kitty." He paused, "would you happen to know where Matt is living?"

She nodded, "he's down with Maggie."

Frank stood, "well…I best be going now and say hello to Matt." He kissed her cheek, "I'll see you later Kitty." She watched him walk to the door then she returned to the kitchen.

Matthew had finished breakfast and was heading upstairs when Kitty stopped him. "You have a few minutes to talk to your mother?" He nodded and they headed for the veranda outside Kitty's bedroom. They sat down in the rockers, "so…how did your talk go with your father?"

Matthew paused a moment, "Ma, I was going to tell you honest. I just needed to find the right time. I didn't want you to be hurt or feel I went against you or something."

Kitty smiled as she patted his hand, "Matthew, I want you to have a relationship with your father and I'm very glad you made the effort to see him. You could never hurt me by doing that."

Matthew smiled, "I'd never want to do anything to hurt you Ma."

Kitty smiled, "I know that son…so how did your talk go?"

"It went real well. We're going fishing this Saturday." He paused, "I was thinking that I might stay with Dad the night before just so I won't miss going…I mean if that's all right with you."

She smiled to see the excitement in Matthew's eyes, "that sounds like a great plan Matthew."

He nodded, "I thought so." He paused, "you know, I'm very lucky to have him as a father. He's a good man Ma."

Kitty nodded, "he's the best."

"I'm glad to hear you say that Ma. Maybe one day, after you're done talking with Dad, he'll be back with us again."

Kitty looked out over the horizon, "that could happen."

"Well…I hope it happens soon." Matthew stood and kissed his mother, "try real hard…OK Ma?" Kitty grinned and shook her head as she watched her son walk inside."

Matt had settled in with a cup of coffee and the newspaper when he heard a knock on the door. He slowly stood and made his way to the foyer. "By golly, Frank Reardon." Matt ushered him in with his hand, "come on in."

Frank stepped into the foyer as Matt closed the door. The two men hugged, "it so good to see you Frank."

"Tell you the truth Matt; I didn't think I was ever going to see you again."

He pointed toward the living room. "Let's go inside, can I get you anything?"

"Coffee sure smells good."

"I'll get you a cup." He pointed toward the sofa, "take a seat and I'll be right back." Matt returned with the coffee and sat in the arm chair. "What brings you to New Orleans Frank?"

"As I told Kitty the cold Montana days were getting a little too much for these old bones and she had told me that you were back so I thought why not be with my old friends."

"You saw Kitty?"

He nodded, "I was quite surprised to hear you were living down here. I just couldn't imagine Kitty not being thrilled that you were finally home."

"It's a long story Frank."

He nodded, "Kitty said the same thing." He paused, "All right then…why don't you tell me why in blazes you where away so long." Matt recounted how life was the past twelve years and when he finished Frank just shook his head, "that is quite a tale Matt. Just had to figure someone was hiding you cause Festus and I were all over the damn blame territory…twice."

"I'm sorry that I put you and him through so much trouble Frank."

He waved off Matt's comment, "It wasn't anything Matt. I needed something to do. Those Montana days got too long for me after awhile, living alone and all."

"Well…I'm glad you decided to head down here."

"I suppose I better start by getting me a place to stay and then look for a job somewhere."

"Kitty might be able to help you with that." Matt held his hands up, "but you didn't hear that from me. I'm having a hard enough time trying to get back into her good graces without her thinking I'm sending you to her for a place and a job."

Frank started to laugh. "She still has you dancing to her tune…doesn't she. That's what I think I always loved about her. She let you think you were running things but when all was said and done…"

Matt smiled, "she did, didn't she."

"All the time friend…hey, you had breakfast yet?" Matt shook his head, "what'd ya say we find a place to eat and we'll talk some more before I go and see Kitty."

"Sounds good." The two men stood and walked off to find something to eat.

The sound of laugher filled the house as Matt and Kitty came through the front door. "Matt, I can't tell you the last time I laughed so much. That poor waiter thought you were choking on those hot peppers...damn near brought the fire hose to douse you."

Matt looked at her with a straight face, "who says I wasn't choking?"

Kitty looked serious, "you mean…you were?"

Matt smiled, "no…but I can be pretty convincin' when I need to be."

Kitty slapped Matt's arm, "oh, you!"

They walked toward the living room, "can I get you a nightcap Kitty?"

She nodded, "that sounds nice."

She sat in the middle of the sofa waiting for Matt to return with the drink. "Here you go."

She took the glass from his hand, "thanks."

He sat next to her, arm resting on the back of the chair behind Kitty's head, as he proposed a toast, "to more evenings like these."

She smiled and touched his glass as they both took a sip of their drinks. "Thanks for a wonderful evening Matt."

He put his drink on the table and stroked her face, "you made the evening wonderful Kitty. You look so beautiful tonight." She smiled as she looked into his eyes. He took her glass and placed it on the table and leaned in for a kiss. "We have the house to ourselves tonight. Maggie has agreed to watch the children and Claire is on the night shift at the hospital." He kissed her again, "just so you know."

She stared for a moment then she raised her hand to stroke his face. Their lips touched and as the kiss deepened Matt ran his hand down her body. She softly moaned when he lingered at her breast and his lips slowly worked their way down her neck. Before he could suggest they go upstairs she abruptly broke away. She took a deep breath, "I want to take this slow Matt."

Disappointed he nodded, "all right Kitty." She undid her shoes and with feet up on the sofa leaned into him. He held her tight while running his hand up and down her back. He smiled, "this is good too."

She smiled happily wrapped in the comfort of his arms. "Matthew told me he came to see you."

Matt nodded, "he's quite a young man. You've done a great job with him Kitty."

She stroked his chest, "he's a part of you too Matt." She looked up at him, "the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree." She snuggled back under his chin. "He said you're taking him fishing on Saturday. He's really looking forward to it. He's thinking about staying here the night before."

Matt bent his head to look at her face, "I don't have a problem with that…unless you do."

She shook her head, "that's fine with me." She drew silent when she realized how many of these conversations they had missed over the years. He would occasionally kiss the top of her forehead but that was as far as she was willing to go. Throughout dinner, he tried to find the right moment to tell Kitty about the new job but he was afraid that it would ruin the evening. As she lay in his arms he knew he had to tell her before she returned home, he couldn't risk her hearing it from someone else. He took a deep breath, "Eric Fournier came to see me the other day."

"That was nice of him. You know, he also tried to help find you."

He hesitated, "he didn't come just to welcome me home."

She looked up at him, "what do you mean?"

"He offered me a consultant job with the police department."

She lay her head back down on his chest, "oh?"

He lowered his head to see her expression, "he was sure I could be of help and…"

Kitty sat up, "and you accepted the position."

Matt was slow to respond. "Yes…I did."

She shook her head, "you are so predictable Matt. You just won't be happy until you die a hero in a hail of bullets…will you?"

Matt shook his head, "oh Kitty, it's not as bad as all that. They call me in every now and then when they need a fresh pair of eyes to look over a couple of cases. Truthfully, I don't know how much I can help but in the meantime I'm making some money and can help pay my way around here."

She put her hand on her hip, "are they going to issue you a gun?"

Matt shrugged, "I suppose so…I don't know. Anyway, what difference does that make? I own a gun now."

"The difference is Matt that no one knows that. Once you're on the police force…"

He took a deep breath, "Kitty I'm not on the police force. I'm a consultant that will be paid by the police force."

She shot him her look, "some difference!"

He stroked her arm, "honey, if you can just give this a chance you'll see that it is not as dangerous as you think it is. Eric well remembers your objections to the detective position and I'm sure he wouldn't have offered me this job if he thought I would be in any danger." He tenderly touched her face. "Besides, I would not have said yes if that was the case."

She shook her head, "why can't you just be happy being with your family?"

He chuckled, "the last time I looked Kitty I wasn't with my family and honestly, if I was, I wouldn't have accepted Eric's offer."

She quickly stood, "is that some type of blackmail Matt? I won't accept the job if I'm back home?"

He stood, "that's just my reality Kitty. I'm here with Maggie and she is...well...supporting me. I need to get out and at least pay her back for the kindness she has shown me." He took her by the arms, "I don't want to do anything that is going to jeopardize our reconciliation Kitty but I can't keep living like this. I have been more than patient waiting for your decision even though I know there is a fifty-fifty chance you won't choose me." He pulled her toward him and held her tight, "I love you Kitty, I've never stopped loving you, and I want to come home. I want to be a father to my children and I want more than anything in the world to be the husband I should have been to you." He lifted her head for a kiss, "but I can't keep sitting here day after day just reading and taking walks. I want to feel like I'm contributing again and if this job is going to make me feel that way…well…I've got to take it Kitty. I'm sorry but that is just how it is."

She slowly backed away, "I guess I have some thinking to do Matt."

She sat to put her shoes back on and then headed toward the door. Matt followed closely behind, "I'll walk you home Kitty."

She shook her head, "I'm fine…I need some time alone Matt." He walked out on the porch and watched her until she entered the house. He sat down on the rocker and ran his fingers through his hair. Her reaction certainly didn't surprise him and he was confident in his decision to tell her. He just hoped this wouldn't push her further into his rival's arms.


	41. Getting Closer With Each Passing Day

The first day on the new job was going as well as Matt could have expected as he spread the contents of the folder in front of him on the desk. Like jumbled pieces of a puzzle each sheet of paper represented another clue leading to the apprehension of a murderer. Over the past two years, there had been an increase in women homicides and the police effort to bring the person responsible to justice had been stymied. Matt thumbed through the extensive paperwork but the words were becoming a blur. He was finding it hard to concentrate as thoughts of Kitty ran through his mind. He hadn't seen her in a week and he worried now that he had blown his last chance. He didn't doubt that telling her was the right thing to do but her silence, as it always had, unsettled him. A door opening interrupted his thoughts, "well, I see you're not asleep yet Matt."

Matt chuckled, "no." He pointed to one of the sheets on the desk, "I just can't believe that a man could do something like this to a woman." He held his hand up, "I'm not saying men weren't above killing a woman when I was Marshal but a whole passel of them…well…" he shook his head, "he's definitely a hard case."

Eric patted Matt on the back, "well, I'll let you get back to what you were doing. I just stopped by to see if you needed anything."

Matt shook his head, "no, I'm good Eric but..."

Eric sat on the edge of Matt's desk, "but what?"

Matt put his hand up, "now, I'm not near finished looking through this file and this might just be a crazy notion but…"

Eric smiled, "nothing is too crazy, say what you have to say."

Matt ran his fingers through his hair, "all the cases that I've read so far were married women."

Eric nodded, "yes, that's true."

Matt smiled, "figured you had picked up on that."

Eric pointed toward the papers, "but what does that mean to you?"

Matt took a deep breath, "well…I'm thinking this guy might prey on married women to see if they'll be unfaithful and once they do..." Matt waved his hand, "crazy notion, I know."

Eric furrowed his brow, "that is definitely a very intriguing scenario." Eric thought a moment, "Matt keep digging you might be on to something." Eric stood, "we're going to have another briefing in a week. If you feel the evidence supports your gut feeling then I want you to present your theory to the group." Eric smiled, "I knew hiring you would pay dividends."

Matt raised his hand, "hold on now Eric I could be dead wrong about all of this."

Eric smiled, "but you could be very right. Keep working it Matt, I'll be interested to see what you come up with." Matt ran his fingers through his hair as he took a deep breath, then he returned to the scattered papers on the desk to try and solve the puzzle.

The last of the lunch crowd had left with only a few stragglers remaining. The sparse crowd gave Kitty a few moments to relax. When Harold fell ill during lunch she had no choice but to assume the bartending duties for the afternoon. As she was clearing off the bar Jean Paul Beaumont walked in. Jean Paul owned a very successful millinery shop down on Canal Street. He had come to New Orleans four years ago from Baton Rouge and quickly made an impression in the business community. With jet black hair and piercing green eyes he was a charming, handsome, slender framed man in his late thirties, and one of the most eligible bachelors in the city. Kitty and Jean Paul had met at a Chamber of Commerce meeting a few years back and enjoyed a cordial relationship as owners of local businesses. He thoroughly enjoyed her company but she was wary of his. He smiled as he entered the restaurant and saw Kitty standing behind the bar. "Ah Kitty dear, a woman such as yourself should be relaxing in a tub full of lavender bubbles and letting the warm water soothe her skin not serving the common rabble intoxicating swill to numb their senses."

Kitty smiled, "if I didn't serve intoxicating swill to the rabble I wouldn't have any money to relax in lavender…now would I Jean Paul?" Before he could answer she continued, "I suppose that means you're not drinking today?"

He threw back his head in laughter, "Kitty, you are like no other woman I've ever known. Not only are you the most beautiful but your intelligence and delightful wit are beyond compare." He leaned on the bar, "you are a fortunate woman indeed to posses all of these attributes."

She smiled, "well, coming from you that is quite a compliment…now…what can I get you?"

He reached into his pocket for some coins, "bourbon…neat." Kitty poured the drink and placed it on the bar. He laid the money down on the wooden surface and threw down the drink. "I think I'll have another."

Kitty looked puzzled as she looked up at the clock, "you close up a little early today Jean Paul?"

"Kitty, I find that a man needs to take some time for himself every now and again so I've hired a young lady to fill in whenever I feel the need to relax with three fingers of swill and a beautiful woman."

Kitty furrowed her brow, "aren't you worried your business will fall off a little? I thought spending a few moments with you was the draw."

He threw down his next drink, "oh, it's true, I love to entice women to buy beautiful expensive accessories but I put that under the category of being a good businessman. Surely hearing a few words of endearment from an attractive man is good for any woman's sense of self."

Kitty shrugged, "I guess we all have our ways of making money…mine through swill and yours through aggrandizing."

He poured another drink and threw it down. He leaned on the bar and stared into Kitty's eyes as he held her hand, "all except you Kitty dear. I know there are no words I could offer that could make you succumb like those other women who are easily taken by my wily charms. No, you are a strong willed woman and a man would be a fool to try and tame you."

Kitty shook her head and dismissed his comment, "Jean Paul, I think you've had enough to drink."

He laughed as he pointed at the bottle, "you think what I say has come from this?" He waved his finger back and forth, "no, that is what I feel inside." He touched his chest a few times. Kitty gave him a disbelieving look, "oh, so, my lady is skeptical?" He thought a moment, "hmm…I hear your husband is back in town."

Kitty furrowed her brow, "I don't see what my husband has to do with this conversation."

He chuckled, "oh, everything."

Kitty put her hand on her hip, "I don't suppose you like to be a little more specific."

He took her hand, raised it palm side up, and ran his finger in a circular motion, "Your husband came home some time ago and yet you are not living with him." Kitty watched his finger gently glide across her skin as if mesmerized. "It's true that he has hurt you but you seem more interested in punishing him for past transgressions then you are to give in to abounding pleasure which only he can provide." He kissed her hand as he stared into her eyes, "ah, yes, strong willed. A woman who will bend on her terms and her terms alone…quite the challenge to any man." He raised his brows as he whispered. "What a glorious moment that must be for a man when she finally relinquishes control and he owns her body and soul."

Annoyed, Kitty quickly withdrew her hand, "Jean Paul, I really think you've had too much to drink and I think it's time you went home."

He swiftly grabbed the bottle and poured another drink. He raised the glass and proposed a toast, "to my good friend and business associate Kitty Russell." He threw down the drink as he poured another. He leaned on the bar and smiled, "if there were more women like you maybe I would give the matrimonial state some consideration."

He threw down the next drink as another patron walked up to the bar, "excuse me Jean Paul I have another customer."

He quickly grabbed her arm, "oh, but Kitty, we haven't finished discussing the pros and cons of the marital vows."

She leaned into him with clenched teeth and whispered, "Jean Paul, you let go of me right now and go home to sleep this off…you hear me?"

Jean Paul laughed, "Or what?" He ran his finger down her arm, "I hope you are going to get a little more physical with me and then..."

"You heard what Miss Kitty said Mr. Beaumont. You best be taking your hand off her arm or you'll have to get physical with me."

Jean Paul released his grip as he laughed, "you have them all defending your honor…don't you Kitty." He looked at Sam, "tell me Sam, she use you too to make her husband jealous?"

Sam quickly grabbed Jean Paul's collar and shirttail and ushered him out of the restaurant, "I've had just about enough of you."

Sam stood at the door as Jean Paul looked back at him from the sidewalk, "was she good Sam, I just have to know." Sam shook his head in pity, turned, and went back inside.

When he returned to the bar Kitty smiled, "I'm sure glad you came along when you did."

"I was coming back from running errands when I looked in and saw that you were alone. I went up to change and it seems I came down just in time. I just hope I didn't lose you a good customer Miss Kitty."

She touched his arm, "I wouldn't worry about it Sam. I'll be in my office if you need me."

As he made his way behind the bar he turned back toward Kitty, "Miss Kitty, he was pretty drunk and I bet he'll be back in here apologizing soon. It's not like Mr. Beaumont to act that way he's always such a gentleman."

Kitty furrowed her brow, "I know Sam it was totally out of character for him." She shrugged, "I guess we all have our bad days." She smiled, "thanks again Sam for coming to my rescue." She turned and continued to her office as Sam waited on the next patron.

Jean Paul stood in front of the restaurant for a moment staring at the name on the building. "You are just like my Jacqueline, a fiery red headed temptress but, lucky for you, I have learned from my mistakes. I understand now how to please a woman so they cannot live without me." He chuckled, "you will find that out soon Kitty." He smiled as he planned their first night together then chastised himself for his rude behavior and setting his plans back an indeterminate amount of time. He had to regain her trust again but, when he did, what a glorious night it was going to be.

Across town Matt and Katie were finishing their lunch on a cool and breezy Christmas Eve day. When they arrived home Katie turned and hugged her father, "I'm having the best birthday ever Daddy."

He patted her back, "well, I'm glad to hear that but your birthday is not over. I have a little something for you down at the house."

She looked up at him, "can we go now Daddy?"

He smiled, "we sure can."

As they walked to Maggie's Katie looked up at her father, "Daddy, are you and Mom not talking again?"

Matt shook his head, "where did you get a silly idea like that?"

"Well, you stopped coming by to pick Mom up for dinner and you were doing that pretty regular for awhile."

Matt took a deep breath, "why don't we get inside and we'll talk about it…OK?" Katie nodded. He opened the door and motioned toward the living room. "Make yourself at home." She walked over to the sofa and sat down as Matt sat next to her. "I…um…took a job with the police department."

Katie's eyes opened wide, "really Daddy…oh, how exciting!"

Matt began to laugh, "I wish your mother felt the same way."

Katie looked puzzled, "she doesn't?"

Matt shook his head, "well, your mother worries that I'll be seriously hurt." He paused, "you have to remember Katie that she has seen more bullets pulled out of me and has had too many anxious moments wondering if I was going to live. I can fully understand why she needs time alone."

"Did she say how long her time alone was going to take?"

"No, but I don't want you to give this another thought. Your mother and I will work this out. Now, stay right here and I'll go get your present."

Matt returned to the room and handed her the gift. He sat next to her as she began to open it. "Oh, Daddy, it's the sweater I wanted! How did you know?"

Matt smiled as he shook his head slowly from side to side, "you only stopped and admired it every time we passed the store window."

She looked at the sweater again, "yeah, but, I didn't think men noticed those things."

Matt threw his head back in laughter, "and what would you know about what men notice?"

She put her hand on her hip and looked annoyed, "I have three brothers and a father…you know!"

He smiled, "that you have."

She stood, put the box on the table, and hugged Matt, "thank you Daddy, you picked out the best present ever!" She sat back down and noticed that Matt was staring at her and smiling. "What is it Daddy?"

"I was just thinking that fourteen years ago I held you in my hands right after you were born." His eyes watered slightly, "and here we are, so many years later, and my little girl is slowing growing up."

She stood and hugged him again, "Daddy, I'll always be your little girl." She straightened up and grabbed her sweater to try it on, "I absolutely love it!"

Matt smiled, "I'm glad."

Katie extended her hand, "come on Daddy, I want to show Mom."

When they arrived at the house Matt opened the door and Katie ran to Kitty, "Mom, look what Daddy bought me for my birthday."

"That's a beautiful sweater Katie," she looked up at Matt and smiled, "I wonder how he knew?"

Matt chuckled, "it seems I get an A for noticing. Well," he started to turn toward the door, "I guess I better get going."

Kitty walked toward him, "where are you going Matt?"

"Back to Maggie's…why?"

"Well, we're having a party for Katie later and I wanted to invite you."

They stared into each other's eyes, "you sure Kitty?"

"You're her father Matt; you have every right to be here."

Matt thought a moment, "is that the only reason I'm being invited?"

She shook her head, "no."

Matt smiled, "then…how can I refuse."

Kitty smiled, "say around seven then?"

He nodded, "I'll be here."

Paper and boxes were strewn around the tree as Christmas day was coming to a close in the Dillon household. Kitty, Maggie, and Claire were in the kitchen clearing away the dishes while Matt, Frank, Festus, and Sam were in the living room enjoying brandy and cigars. The children had gone to their rooms so the men entertained Sam with their stories of days gone by. When the women eventually returned to the living room Frank stood quickly to give Kitty his seat next to Matt. Matt looked at Kitty and smiled, "Kitty, that sure was a good dinner."

She smiled, "I'm glad you enjoyed it Matt." She looked over at the tree. "It seems our children made short work of their presents."

Matt chuckled, "they were like buzz saws."

She laughed. "Weren't they though?"

Sam stood, "Miss Kitty, I want to thank you for a lovely day but I think I'm going to be heading home now."

Festus stood right behind him, "hold on there a minute Sam, I be a comin' wit' ya."

Kitty stood, "oh, come on, stay for one more." Her thumb and forefinger spread an inch apart.

Sam smiled, "I don't want to hurt your feelings Miss Kitty but I just can't keep my eyes open much longer."

She turned to Festus, "what about you Festus…you sure you won't stay?"

He shook his head, "I gotta be up real early tomarra'. They done drunk us pert near clear dry yesterday."

"All right but I expect a better showing out of both of you on New Year's Eve."

She kissed both men and walked them to the door. When she returned to the room Maggie stood. "Miss Kitty, I'm afraid that I'm going to head home too, it's been a very long day."

Claire stood, "I think I'll be going also."

Kitty took a deep breath, "I guess they'll be no talking you out of it?" Both women shook their heads. She gave them a hug, "Thank you for all your help today. I couldn't have done it without you."

Matt stood, walked toward them, and then he turned to Kitty, "I think I better make sure they get home all right."

She looked up at him wanting to ask if he was going to return but thought better of it. She managed to whisper, "all right Matt." She walked them to the door and watched as they made their way down the path.

She closed the door and returned to the living room, "I guess it's just me and you Kitty."

Kitty sat next to Frank on the sofa, "I guess so."

He bent to look at her face, "I'm sure if you said something to Matt he would have gladly returned."

She waved her hand, "it's just as well."

Frank shook his head, "Kitty, when are you going to admit to yourself that Matt should be home where he belongs?"

She furrowed her brow as she turned to him, "how do you know that's what I'm thinking about?"

He chuckled, "well…I know you're not thinking about that dandy of a doctor, that's for sure."

Her voice conveyed her annoyance, "and you're positive of that?"

He nodded, "yep, because there is no way you can honestly love him more than Matt."

She shot Frank an annoyed look, "I'll thank you to keep out of my personal life Frank."

Frank moved closer to her, "I'm not going to sit here and say that Matt was right in what he did, because he wasn't. He loves you Kitty, he will always love you, but if you give him an indication that you've stopped loving him…well…I know that he'll just move on." He held her hand, "I understand that he hurt you deeply but don't be foolish enough to think that you can keep him dangling forever." He took a deep breath as he leaned back against the sofa, "Claire certainly seems sweet on him."

Kitty quickly turned, "what?"

"You were too busy today to notice but I certainly wasn't. There is no doubt in my mind that if Matt was the slightest bit interested…well…they are living in the same house."

Kitty sat for a moment stunned at Frank's admission. Without another word she stood and turned to him, "if you don't mind Frank I think I'd like to turn in now."

He stood and hugged her, "sure Kitty."

She walked him to the door, gave him a kiss, and slowly closed the door behind him. Frank walked down the path and met Matt at the gate. He smiled, "Kitty kick you out?"

Frank nodded, "just about. She was a little tired from the day so she was going to bed."

"Oh, I won't bother her then, night Frank."

Matt began to turn as Frank grabbed his arm, "maybe you should Matt."

Matt looked puzzled, "what do you mean?"

"Go and talk to her."

Matt looked up to see the bedroom light lit. He put his hand up, "she's not ready for that Frank."

Frank shook his head, "I have never met two more stubborn people then you and Kitty. Go on; keep dancing around each other for the rest of your lives, see if I care." He quickly spun on his heels, "I'm going to find a place to get a drink!"

Matt watched Frank walk down the street then he looked up at Kitty's window. He took a deep breath and unlatched the gate when he noticed her room go dark. He stood for a moment wondering before he returned back to Maggie's.

Kitty lay in the dark hoping to hear Matt climbing the stairs. After awhile thoughts of Claire and him slowly crept into her mind. She turned on her side, scrunching the pillow under her head, as tears filled her eyes.

It was another successful New Year's Eve at _**Russell's. **_In her usual role as hostess, Kitty flitted between tables ensuring all her patrons were having a good time. Matt occasionally watched her move around the room but her absence didn't bother him as it had years ago. He was a contented man with his children and good friends surrounding him; his only regret was that he hadn't spent more times like these with Doc. He took a deep satisfying breath as he leaned back in his chair and smiled as he watched the festivities around him. He had never been happier in his life as the hands on the clock moved closer to midnight. Someone yelled Happy New Year and Matt looked for Kitty. He could see her slowly making her way across the room so he turned to his children and welcomed in the New Year. John had arrived and was slowly making his way to the table when Kitty intercepted him half way. He smiled, "Happy New Year Kitty."

He kissed her cheek and hugged her, "Happy New York John." It was then that Kitty noticed the look on Claire's face after Matt let her go to embrace Maggie. Kitty furrowed her brow as John and she walked over to the table.

The children wished their mother a Happy New Year then their Uncle John. Matt smiled as he moved toward Kitty. They stood for a moment gazing into each other's eyes, "Happy New Year Kitty."

"Happy New Year Matt." He slowly pulled her toward him and kissed her. As their kiss lingered the children and Maggie looked at one another and smiled, Claire and John lowered their eyes and looked away. Matt smiled, "Kitty, I will love you this year, next year, and all the coming years until I die. I just want you to know that."

Her eyes quickly filled with tears, "oh, Matt."

He took her by the arms, "are you all right?"

She nodded, "I just need a minute." Matt watched her walk toward her office then he returned to the table.

As the night drew to a close Matt still was concerned that Kitty had not returned. Noticing the concern on Matt's face, Frank walked over to him. "That was quite a party."

Matt smiled, "Kitty sure knows how to throw one, doesn't she?"

Frank nodded, "she always has." He waited a moment then looked at his good friend, "say, Matt, I don't mind going home with the children and staying the night with them if you and Kitty want to use the second floor this evening."

Matt patted Frank's back, "I really appreciate that Frank but I'm not sure we're at that stage yet."

Frank chuckled, "you're still convinced of that…huh?"

Matt smiled, "I'm taking it one day at a time but…um…there have been some encouraging signs."

Frank nodded, "I noticed. For a minute there, I thought one of us was going to have to remind you two that you had guests." Frank pointed toward John, "I see he is still part of the family."

Matt looked to where Frank had pointed, "Frank, I've resigned myself to that fact awhile ago and I'm fine with it. He was very good to my family while I was away and I owe him a lot."

Frank patted Matt's back, "you're a very understanding man, my friend."

Kitty walked over, "and what are you two talking about?"

Frank smiled, "how very beautiful you look tonight Kitty." He nudged Matt, "isn't she Matt?" Frank looked across the room and pointed, "I'm just going to go over and help Sam, if you'll excuse me."

Kitty watched Frank walk toward the bar and then smiled at Matt, "did you have a nice time tonight Matt?"

He smiled, "you know what I kept thinking about?"

She shook her head, "no."

"The last New Year's we spent here together. Matthew and Katie were just babies then," Matt looked in their direction and chuckled, "now look at them." He shook his head, "I've missed so much."

She touched his arm, "but you're here now Matt, that's all that matters."

He took her hand, "and, if I remember right, we did some pretty nice celebrating on the second floor ourselves that night." He ran his thumb over the back of her hand, "Frank offered to stay with the children if we wanted to be alone this evening. I told him no…was I wrong?"

She stared at him hesitating long enough to be tempted by his offer, "that was very nice of Frank to offer but…"

Matt gently ran his fingers down her face, "honey, it's all right. I'll be ready whenever you are." Kitty smiled. John was in the middle of a conversation with Maggie when he noticed Claire staring at Matt and Kitty. He recognized the look on her face all too well.

The next day, Jean Paul Beaumont approached the bar at _**Russell's**_ with a bouquet of roses and the sincere hope that Kitty was a forgiving woman. Sam stared as Jean Paul came closer, "Sam, my dear man, I come armed with an olive branch," he smiled as he showed him the flowers, "not only do I need to seek the forgiveness of a lovely lady I hope you will also accept my apology. I was totally out of line the other day and I hold no ill feelings toward you. I hope we can put that sordid incident behind us."

Sam nodded, "I accept your apology Mr. Beaumont."

Jean Paul extended his hand, "thank you Sam and I promise I will never get myself in that state again." He looked around, "is the lovely proprietress in?"

"She's in her office."

"Wonderful…I know my way."

Kitty was deep in numbers when she heard a knock at the door. "Come in."

She turned in her chair to see a bouquet of roses come around the door followed by Jean Paul. "I know I can never apologize enough for my behavior the other day Kitty but I was hoping you could find it in your heart to renew the mutual respect and admiration we have always had for each other."

She smiled, "Apology accepted, but I have to admit I had never seen you drink so hard before Jean Paul. Is there something wrong?"

He started for the chair, "may I?" Kitty nodded as she sat down across from him. "I guess all the years of waiting on women and having to appease their every whim is beginning to take its toll on my personality. There are days that I swear if I have to make another woman feel wanted and loved I'll…"

Kitty chuckled, "but I thought you loved women."

"Oh…but I do…just not these clinging, needy women who think I am the answer to their unhappiness." He paused, "I know that's why I overindulged the other day because I needed to remove their sorry little faces from my mind." He ran his hands over his face, "unfortunately, I got a little carried away and almost lost a friendship that I cherish."

"What's your plan then? Are you going to keep the store?"

"That is why I hired Sarah. When I feel the walls closing in I will leave the store in her capable hands and take a moment to revive my mind and spirit."

Kitty smiled and raised her brow, "I know that feeling."

"Then I am still welcome in your fine establishment?"

Kitty picked up the roses and took a quick whiff, "of course you are; besides you're good for business."

He looked confused, "how so?"

"I don't know if you are aware of this Jean Paul but you are a very popular man with the ladies in this town. Having you frequent my establishment is the best advertising a woman could have."

He laughed, "now, Kitty, you make it seem that I have dated every available female in the city."

She raised her brow, "well, haven't you?"

He thought a moment, "I think I might have missed one or two…but there's always tomorrow."

She laughed as she stood. "Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to find a vase to put these in."

He kissed her hand, "I will see you soon."

She smiled, "thanks again for the lovely flowers."

He smiled, "they pale in comparison to you Kitty. Good day." She watched him close the door and then she shook her head.

Matt passed _**Russell's **_on his way home from police headquarters and on a whim decided to go inside. He had just presented his findings to the detectives and felt good that the meeting had gone well. He saw Frank behind the bar as he entered, "you look pretty good there Frank."

Frank grinned, "I've got to tell you Matt I never thought having a lot of people around me would be appealing but this town sure has changed my mind."

Matt nodded, "it can do that all right." He looked around the room, "is Kitty here?"

"She sure is," he pointed toward the rear of the building, "she's back in her office."

Matt looked in that direction then turned back to Frank, "I think I'll surprise her."

Kitty put down her pen and stood to straighten her back. In the middle of her stretch there was a knock at the door. "Come in."

Matt peeked in and smiled, "can I take the lady away from her books for a moment?"

Kitty smiled, "of course you can."

As he approached her he noticed the roses on the table, "beautiful set of flowers you got there."

Kitty waved her hand in dismissal, "a patron who had gotten out of hand a week or so back. Felt the need to apologize."

Matt stared at the roses, "he must feel very strongly about this place to go to such expense."

Kitty touched Matt's arm, "I do run a very upscale place here sir…or haven't you noticed."

He looked back at Kitty and stared into her eyes, "I noticed."

"So…was there a reason you dropped in today?"

He was clearly bothered by the flowers as his eyes darted between Kitty and the vase, "Uh…I was wondering…if you…would like…um…to go to dinner tonight."

Kitty smiled, "I'd love to."

A huge grin spread across his face. "I'll pick you up at seven."

She smiled, "I'll be waiting."

The two lovers were nestled underbrush out of the light of the full moon on the banks of Lake Pontchartrain. It was an unseasonable warm evening for the middle of February as they cuddled close wrapped in each other's arms. "I was just thinking."

She stroked his chest as she whispered, "what about?"

"I think we need a new start, to get away from this city."

She sat up, "but our whole life is here."

He stroked her face, "is our life here worth anything when both of us are so unhappy? I want us to start fresh away from everything that reminds us of how miserable our lives are." She smiled as he began to undo the buttons of her blouse, "we can show our love openly away from all these judgmental eyes."

His lips continued down her neck as he laid her gently on the blanket. She whispered. "I want that too."

He played with the taut rise on her chest, "I love you. No one will ever love you like I do."

She moaned as he lifted her skirt and ran his hand along the inside of her thighs. She ran her fingers through his hair, "I have never been loved like this. I need you so." He smiled as he gently removed her undergarments and moved between her legs. She writhed in pleasure as his thrusts became faster and harder and waves of contentment flowed through her body. When she was finally able to catch her breath she smiled and held him tight as he lay on top of her. She kissed his forehead and her dreams of having a loving life were coming to fruition. He finally looked up into her eyes, "no other woman has ever made me feel this way."

She ran her fingers lightly over his face, "and no man has ever made me feel so loved." He lay back down on the blanket and took her into his arms, "where will we go?"

He smiled, "anywhere you want."

She clutched him tight, "I can hardly wait until I'm your wife. We will be together every night in our loving bed and be as happy as we are now."

He laid her on the blanket and slowly ran his hand up and down her body. "I don't remember ever saying anything about marriage. I want us to run away and be lovers."

She furrowed her brow, "but I thought you loved me?"

He played with her breast, "I do, I love how you make me feel. Are you not satisfied after we make love?"

"More than I have ever been satisfied before."

"Then I see no need to further complicate matters by binding each other to a useless contract that one day we might find very strangulating."

"But you said that no woman has ever made you feel this way."

"Right now, yes, but who can say in years to come how we will feel. I would think that you, of all people, would understand that. You have a husband at home right now that you despise."

She was quick to correct him, "I don't actually despise him."

He raised his brows, "oh, so, you're telling me that he fulfilled all your needs except your animalistic one? You leave that up to me?"

She shook her head, "no, that's not what I'm saying. I don't love my husband but I wouldn't say I despise him."

His mouth covered her breast as she let out with a soft moan. He looked up, "you are a very beautiful woman," his fingers lingering between her legs, "maybe too beautiful."

She closed her eyes moving in rhythm to his gentle touch. She whispered, "I love you so. I'll go wherever you want; please, I need to be with you."

He ran his hand up and down her body eventually lingering at her breast. His lips titillated her skin as he slowly moved up her neck and lovingly kissed her lips. He smiled as he slowly raised his head and plunged the knife through her chest. Her eyes opened wide as she tried to speak, "sleep now my love, I will remember you always." He shook his head as he stood and continued to dress, "what will your poor husband do now." He carefully rolled the body off the blanket then he walked back to where he had parked the coach, covering his tracks as he went.

Matt and Kitty returned to Maggie's home after dinner. He poured them drinks and then returned to Kitty waiting for him on the sofa. "I had a real nice evening Matt."

He smiled, "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

They both took a sip then Kitty laid her drink down on the table and snuggled against Matt's chest. He laid his drink on the end table and hugged her close. She smiled as she ran her hand along his chest, "how's your job coming along?"

He made a face, "very slowly."

"Is it against policy for you to discuss the case?" She looked up at him and smiled, "we used to do that many years ago and now that I'm your wife…"

He kissed her, "it's not that I don't want to tell you Kitty it's just that…well…I've never had a case before," he shook his head, "it's tough to talk about it."

She sat up, "this must be some case!"

He nodded looking troubled, "it is."

Kitty put her hand on her hip, "Matt Dillon, don't tell me that you're just going to sit there and leave me hanging like this."

He shook his head slowly from side to side, "I just don't know what to make of you sometimes. Not too far back, when I mentioned this job to you, you had to go home to think. Now you want to know everything there is to know about it." He chuckled, "nothing has changed…I still can't figure you out."

She furrowed her brow, "well…are you going to tell me or not?"

He took a deep breath, "I'm helping the police capture the man who has been murdering women in this city and that's all I'm going to say on the matter." He touched her face, "I want to concentrate on us if that's all right with you."

She smiled as she laid her head back down on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, "Kitty, I think it best if someone is with you when you come home at night."

She dismissed his concern, "Matt, don't be ridiculous."

"I'm serious Kitty…just until we find this lunatic."

"Matt, this has been going on for two years now. I'll be fine. Besides, the odds are…"

"I don't care what the odds are…I want you safe."

She patted his chest, "all right…if it will make you sleep better at night." He ran his fingers through his hair as she smiled. He absentmindedly moved his hand gently up and down her back as the case preoccupied his mind. It took a few moments before he realized that Kitty was opening his shirt and kissing his neck. He turned as her lips brushed softly against his. He held her face gently in his hand and drew her into a passionate kiss. She smiled as she stared into his eyes, "we have the house to ourselves this evening?" He nodded, "then why don't we go upstairs cowboy?"

He swallowed hard, "are you sure Kitty?"

She nodded, "I think I would like to try and rekindle our husband wife relationship."

He smiled, "yes, ma'am."

He stood as she grabbed her shoes and then he helped her from the sofa. He held her waist tight as they walked toward the stairs. He chuckled, "I hope I remember how."

She looked up at him and smiled, "I'll see what I can do to help you remember."

They laughed as a loud knock at the door startled them. Matt looked at Kitty as he released her. He opened the door, "Mr. Dillon, Captain Fournier needs you right away. There's been another woman murdered down by Lake Pontchartrain."

Matt could hear Kitty's intake of air behind him, "can you wait a minute while I take my wife home?"

The young man looked at him puzzled, "why…yeah…sure." He turned to go back to the coach as Matt closed the door.

Matt turned to Kitty, "I'm sorry Kitty. I know I've said that more times then you've wanted to hear over the years and that I've ruined our evening and disappointed you again and…"

She put her fingers gently over his mouth, "you find this monster Matt."

It took him a moment before he realized she was fine with the interruption. He shook his head and chuckled, "nothing has changed…I still can't figure you out." He took her in his arms and held her close for a moment before she looked up at him and he pulled her into a passionate kiss. He waited for her to put on her shoes then he held her tight and took her home.

The next morning Matt lay staring at the ceiling as the morning light slowly brightened the room. After returning from the crime scene the night before, sleep was hard to come by as the dead woman's image repeatedly ran through his mind. He removed the comforter and swung his legs off the bed and sat for a moment. He was going to meet Eric at the scene that morning and he was more determined than ever to put this man away for the rest of his life.

Matt walked up to where Eric was standing. "Ah, good morning Matt," Eric smiled, "ready to earn your pay?"

They walked around and surveyed the area, "he certainly cleared his tracks with something smooth…maybe a blanket."

Eric nodded, "that's what I was thinking."

They came upon the spot where they found the body. Matt winced as he recalled the woman lying in the light of the full moon. "Eric, I was giving this some thought last night and I don't think this was the first time they were together."

Eric looked over at Matt, "why would you say that?"

Matt shook his head, "for some reason, I just couldn't get the woman's eyes out of my mind. It was as if they were trying to tell me something."

"And did they?"

Matt shrugged, "I'm not sure but it looked to me like she was surprised, as if being murdered was the furthest thing from her mind."

"So you think that this was an ongoing relationship?"

Matt nodded, "that's the gut feeling I have. I just don't think this was the only time they were together."

Eric mulled Matt's idea over, "so…you think the man we're looking for might date these women for awhile then kill them?"

Matt shook his head, "can't say for certain but he's definitely a man who knows his way around women."

"Go on."

"I noticed how her clothing was situated." Matt nodded in certainty, "our man made love to this woman no doubt about it."

Eric smiled, "they teach you all that out on the frontier?"

Matt chuckled, "no, but when you make love to a woman out on the prairie," Matt abruptly stopped and cleared his throat as his face turned crimson, "well…you'll just have to take my word for it."

Eric grinned at Matt's discomfort. "So…what would you do next?"

Matt ran his fingers through his hair, "I don't know…maybe check back with the husbands. If their wives were going out a lot before they were murdered that might just mean they were meeting our man."

Eric slowly nodded as he thought over Matt's theory, "I think it's a great first start." As they walked away from the Lake, Eric looked up at Matt, "you sure you don't want to elaborate more on your time out on the prairie?"

Matt smiled, "the less said the better." Eric smiled as he slapped Matt's back before they entered the coach.

In the early morning hours, Claire returned home from her shift at the hospital. As she quietly moved across the foyer she heard faint snoring coming from the living room. She smiled when she noticed Matt asleep in the armchair in the dimly lit room. She stood over him for a moment, eyes scanning his large frame. She sighed as she thought how wonderful it would be if Matt was in love with her but, after witnessing his affectionate display with Kitty New Years Eve, there was no doubt in her mind that she didn't have a prayer. She wished it wasn't true but she had come to realize that his feelings for Kitty were never going to change and the chance of him falling in love with another woman was near impossible. She leaned over and gently shook his arm, "Matt, Matt."

His eyes fluttered into focus as he lifted his body in an upright position. "Oh, hi Claire, just get home from work?"

She smiled, "yes…I saw you lying here looking so uncomfortable and I thought you might like to stretch out in your bed." She chuckled, "I guess that's just the nurse coming out in me, always trying to make people feel comfortable."

He stood as he rubbed his neck, "well, I'm glad you did." He smiled, "I guess there's something to be said for having a nurse in the family." He put his arms on her shoulders, "thanks for waking me."

She stared at him wanting so badly to be pulled into his arms. "You're welcome Matt."

She followed him into the foyer and they climbed the stairs together. When they reached the landing he whispered. "Good night Claire."

She smiled, "good night Matt," she watched him walk down the hall until he closed the door to his room.

With papers strewn across the wooden top of his desk Matt leaned back in his chair and stretched. It had been five months since he was given his first assignment and no matter how many times he read the case files he wasn't any closer to a breakthrough. He felt fortunate that not another woman was murdered in that time but, if his assumption was right, the next victim was being primed for the kill at that very moment. Matt rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath as he thought about Kitty. He had seen her sporadically over the past few months and when he did she was surprisingly accepting of the little time they spent together. In quieter moments he wondered if her lack of objection had anything to do with John since he wasn't any closer to moving back home. That thought still preyed on his mind when Eric opened the door, "how's it going Matt?"

"Frustrating!" He threw a sheet of paper on the desk, "I thought I might have had a lead but not all the women murdered were customers of that shop."

Eric sat on the end of his desk, "what shop?"

"That millinery shop down on Canal." Matt snapped his fingers, "what's the name…um…Jean Paul."

Eric stood and paced, "we checked that out awhile ago Matt. The owner has been extremely helpful in our investigation so far."

Matt looked down at his desk, "well then…back to the drawing board."

Eric turned, "it's getting late Matt, why don't you go home for the day."

Matt looked up, "thanks Eric but there are just a few more things I want to go over before I leave."

Eric smiled, "OK then, I'll see you tomorrow. Good night Matt."

Matt waved his hand as he went back to the paper on his desk, "good night Eric." As soon as Eric closed the door Matt's thoughts returned to Kitty. There were too many unanswered questions and his life was still unsettled. He has been patiently waiting for her decision but now it was getting absurd and he needed to hear the truth. If she wanted to spend the rest of her life with John she needed to tell him and let him go. Determined, Matt stood and neatly put the papers in the folder. He took a deep breath and decided to head over to _**Russell's **_and have a talk with her. Tonight was going to be the night when his fate would be decided.

Kitty grabbed her shawl and threw it around her shoulders and left her office. Walking across the dining room floor she heard Frank call to her, "Kitty, where are going?"

"I have a few errands to run Frank, and then I'm going home."

Frank began to undo his apron, "wait a minute and I'll go with you."

She placed her hand on his arm, "no need Frank."

He nodded, "now… I promised Matt that you wouldn't be going anywhere alone in the evenings so if you wait just a minute…"

"Frank, I'm not going to be a prisoner for you or for Matt. I'm perfectly capable of running a few errands and going home on my own. Besides, it's nearing dusk and not the dead of night…I'll be fine." She turned on her heels and left before Frank could take another step. He took a deep breath, retied his apron, and returned behind the bar.

As he walked along the streets leading to _**Russell's**_, Matt began to have second thoughts. He began to fear that cornering Kitty into making a decision might not work to his advantage. He had no idea where she was when they weren't together and insisting that he have the answer now might make her realize how patient a man John Chapman really was. He wasn't going to do anything to benefit John and if he could be accepting of the wait, so could Matt. His mind was so focused on Kitty that he hadn't noticed the man approaching him. Their eyes met quickly in passing but after a few steps the look in the stranger's eyes haunted him. He abruptly turned to see the man moving toward an alley and he followed closely behind.

Kitty laid flowers at Doc's grave and then slowly moved toward the bench and sat down. She stared at the tombstone and her eyes began to fill with tears. "Oh Curly, I miss you so." She took a deep breath, "I wish I had you here to guide me like you always use to do." She looked around the cemetery, "I don't know what's wrong with me. I love Matt with my whole heart and soul and you would think taking him back would be the easiest thing to do but for some reason I haven't been able to." She waved her hand, "I know it's silly and I think you know there is no one else." She shrugged, "At one time, I thought I loved John but he never stirred the passion in me like Matt does. I guess I always knew that but having Matt back made me realize it more. John loves me and we would have had a very nice life together but there would never be a day when I would have stopped loving Matt." She chuckled, "so you're probably wondering why I haven't told Matt all this. Tell you the truth Doc I don't know."

Matt stood at the entranceway of the alley and took a deep breath. He questioned the sanity in following a complete stranger based on a quick glance but he had a hunch and he was going to play it out. He slowly inched his way further into the semi-darkness as he drew his gun. A cat darting across the cobblestone startled him and he took a moment to catch his breath. He checked a locked door and noticed another on the other side of the alley. As he approached the door, stacked crates knocked him to the ground. He cleared his head in time to see a silhouette of a man standing about twenty feet away. He started to get to his feet when a shot rang out and a piercing pain drove him back down to the pavement. He grimaced as the sharpness of the pain brought him close to vomiting. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed the man slowly backing down the alley. He garnered whatever strength he had left and shot at the figure slowly disappearing into the night. He heard a moan and he could see the man bent over as he ran, then the darkness took him.

John had just finished last rounds at the hospital and had decided that he was going to see Kitty as soon as the next surgeon on call arrived. He wondered why Kitty wasn't more upset when Matt decided to go back into law enforcement. He hoped that it was because she had finally decided it was over between them and it didn't matter anymore. Although Kitty had stopped coming by in the evenings he still clung to his dream that they would be together again one day. He smiled when he imagined coming home to Kitty in the evening and making love to her before they fell to sleep in each other's arms. He was deep in his thoughts when Claire came up behind him, "it seems like you're having a very nice thought there doctor."

John turned to Claire, "I was just thinking how nice it was going to be to leave this hospital tonight."

"Have any plans this evening?"

"I was thinking that I might stop in _**Russell's **_tonight and check in on the beautiful owner."

Claire shook her head, "you're just not giving up…are you John."

"The day Kitty tells me I should I will…and not a moment sooner."

Claire thought a moment, "it must be nice to believe that either one of them could love someone else…I suppose."

John smiled, "I guess I believe in miracles," he eyed Claire, "and what about you?"

Claire looked puzzled, "what about me? We were talking about you and Kitty…weren't we doctor?"

John nodded, "we were, but I can't help believing that living in the house with Matt hasn't gotten you to wishing for your own miracles."

She dismissed him with a wave of her hand, "miracles…not when he thinks about Kitty night and day."

John put his hand on her shoulder, "I saw the way you looked at him New Years Eve. Does he know?"

She shook her head, "oh, heaven's no. I could never see myself telling him."

Before John could respond, the doors of the hospital flung wide open. "Doctor, I'm glad you're still here. Gunshot wound and it's pretty bad."

John ran toward the person lying on the stretcher. His face dropped when he saw it was Matt. "Is something wrong sir?" John shook his head as Claire came up behind him. She gasped at the sight of Matt as tears filled her eyes. "Get him to the operating room and I'll be right there."

John quickly changed and entered the room. He had hoped to find another surgeon in the hospital but he was the only one until Dr. Mathias arrived in thirty minutes. Matt was clinging to life and even a minute more was too long to wait. He stared for a moment at Matt then shut his eyes tight trying to erase the thought of him not surviving the surgery. "Are you all right doctor?" He nodded as he took the scalpel into his hand and placed it on Matt's skin. Before he made the first cut he spoke to no one in particular, "I think someone should notify his wife."

The wind was picking up and Kitty grabbed the shawl closer to her. "I need him Curly, I have always needed him, and I would be nothing without him. I know if you were here you'd tell me enough is enough, young lady. That it was about time I took him back and no more game playing. Well, when you're right, you're right Doc." She paused, "I've been giving this a lot of thought lately and I have the perfect evening planned for us." She chuckled, "I know you don't want to know every detail but one thing I know for sure is he better get a lot of rest the night before because I intend…"

"Ma…Ma."

Kitty turned to see Matthew running toward her. She stood and walked in his direction. "Matthew what's wrong?"

Matthew tried to catch his breath, "Ma…it's…Dad…"

Kitty furrowed her brow, "what about your father?"

"He's been shot real bad…he's down at the hospital." She scooped up her dress and ran to the coach hoping it wasn't too late.


	42. A Love That Will Never Die

_It was a sad day for all of us when Jim Arness passed away on Friday. This story, as well as countless others, would not have been written if he didn't inspire so many of us. I dedicate this chapter to Jim and hope that I am honoring his memory by doing so. Rest in Peace Cowboy!_

Kitty burst through the door of the hospital and ran to the woman at the desk. She tried to catch her breath as she spoke, "my husband…Matt…Matt Dillon…was shot. Do you know how he is?"

The woman moved her head slowly from side to side, "He's in surgery now. Why don't you and your boy have a seat over there," she pointed to a row of chairs, "and when I hear something I'll let you know."

Kitty and Matthew moved toward the row of chairs and sat down. Unable to sit still, Kitty quickly rose and began to pace. "Ma, Dad is going to be all right. Didn't ya tell me once that he used to get shot a lot?"

Kitty waved her hand in dismissal, "that was years ago Matthew when your father was a lot younger," she turned to look at him, "and some of those times were touch and go." As she continued to pace she noticed John down the hallway and she ran to him, "John how is Matt?"

He nodded and moved her toward the chairs, "Beatrice, can you take Matthew here and get him something to drink?"

She nodded, "sure Dr. Chapman." Matthew walked toward her and Beatrice placed her arm around the boy's shoulders.

"Now, Kitty, why don't we sit down over here?"

"John, I don't want sit down. I want to know how Matt is."

"Please," he extended his arm toward the chairs and they sat down, "he's out of surgery and resting comfortably but we still have to monitor him very closely."

Tears started to come to Kitty's eyes, "John, please tell me he's going to be all right."

"Believe me Kitty, we're doing all we can but he's not a young man any more."

She stared into his eyes then fell against his chest as the tears flowed. John held her tight, "John, I can't lose him…not now."

"Shhh," he ran his hand over her hair, "I'm going to do all I can to make sure that doesn't happen."

She looked up, eyes brimming with tears, "can I see him John?"

"Kitty he's still under the anesthetic."

"I don't care John; I want to be with him."

Against his better judgment, John stood and helped her to her feet, "come on."

They walked down the hall then stopped in front of the door. "John, could you please have someone take Matthew home? I'm going to stay with Matt tonight."

"Kitty, I really don't think that's a good idea."

"John, I don't care. I want to be there when Matt wakes up…please."

He took a deep breath, "all right but I'll be back as soon as I take Matthew home."

She smiled, "all right." Kitty opened the door to Matt's room and slowly made her way to his bed. She ran her fingers down the side of his face and leaned over to kiss him. She whispered, "it's Kitty, Matt. I love you, please don't leave me cowboy." John watched them through the small window in the door as Kitty continued to stroke and kiss Matt's face. He took a deep breath then went to find Matthew.

When they arrived at the house, Maggie greeted John and Matthew as they entered the foyer. "Dr. John, how is Matt?"

John shook his head, "we really don't know much yet Maggie. I removed the bullet and he seems to be doing well but we're going to watch him very closely. He's not out of the woods yet."

"Where is Miss Kitty?"

"She wants to stay with Matt so would you mind staying here with the children tonight?"

"Of course not."

John smiled, "then I'll get back to the hospital."

Maggie grabbed John's arm, "I know this can't be easy for you Dr. John."

John smiled, "it's really very simple Maggie. I'm a doctor and I was called upon to save a life."

Maggie ran her hand up and down John's arm, "you're a good man Dr. John, a very good man."

He chuckled, "not good enough I'm afraid." John opened the door then turned back toward Maggie. "I'll let you know how Matt is progressing." She nodded then watched as he walked down the path and out to the street.

John looked at the clock as he returned to the hospital. He walked the long corridor to Matt's room then peered through the little window in the door. Kitty was still steadfastly holding Matt's hand with eyes focused on his face. It wasn't going to be easy to let her go even though a part of him always knew that this day would eventually come. He took a deep breath before he turned to commence his rounds.

The clock in John's office struck one in the morning. John looked up from his paperwork, stretched, and made his way to Matt's room. There Kitty sat, hands wrapped tightly around one of Matt's, head lying on top of his arm. John smiled as he entered the room and shook her gently, "Kitty, why don't you come with me and lie down for awhile. I'll watch Matt."

She took a deep breath as she wiped the sleep from her eyes and stretched, "I'm fine John; I don't want to leave him for a minute."

"Then why don't I get us some coffee?"

She smiled, "I'd like that."

Kitty watched John leave the room then turned her attention to Matt. She stood and ran her fingers through his hair, "it can't end this way Matt. I need you cowboy, please come back to me." She continued to stroke his hair until the opening of a door broke her trance.

John smiled as he handed her a cup of coffee then pulled a chair up next to hers. They sat and stared over at Matt, "he's remarkable, you know."

Kitty nodded, "I do know."

John took a sip of the coffee, "not many men would have done as well under the circumstances."

Kitty took a sip then looked over at John, "John, I want to thank you for taking such good care of Matt. I will always be grateful."

He smiled, "once he's up on his feet and out of the hospital I'll feel a whole lot better."

She smiled, "I have no doubt that he will. You're an excellent doctor John."

He took another sip, "he's not out of the woods yet Kitty."

She stared into his eyes as she took his hand, "I know he is going to be fine. You're an extraordinary man John."

He shook his head, "not so extraordinary, if I were you would be in love with me."

Tears welled in her eyes, "oh, John…but I do."

He smiled, "not enough though." He looked down, "I'll save you from saying it Kitty. I know that when Matt recovers he'll be moving back into the house and it will be soon after that…well…you'll be…um…you know." He paused, "funny how things go…not too long ago we were discussing marriage." He took a sip of his drink then stared into the cup. "I'm going to miss you Kitty."

Tears were streaming down her cheeks, "John, I would have been so proud to be your wife." He looked up as she ran her fingers down his face, "any woman would."

He looked back at Matt, "once Matt is well I think it best if we don't see each other anymore."

She looked at him puzzled, "oh, John…that's not necessary."

"It is for me Kitty. It's going to tear me apart to see you and Matt happy again." He took a deep breath, "I'd rather be alone and live off my memories."

Kitty looked concerned, "John, don't be ridiculous. You are part of the family, a family who loves you." She shook her head, "no, uh uh, you're not going to be alone." She took his hand, "I want you in my life John, we've been through too much the past thirteen years to just walk away from each other." She looked at Matt then back at John, "I know Matt would want that too."

He smiled as he stroked her face, "I'd do anything for you Kitty and I think you know that." She nodded, "but I can't go back to being friends after all we've shared. I love you Kitty and I'll never stop loving you."

She stood and walked to the window. She folded her arms across her chest and looked out at the darkness as John came up behind her. "I've often asked myself what I would have done if Matt had died in Dodge." She shrugged, "probably would have sold the business and moved to San Francisco or maybe New York. I often wondered if I would be able to fall in love again or if I would have spent a lifetime measuring every man I met against Matt." She took a deep breath, "I guess I found out the answer." She paused, "when I saw Matt laying there tonight my first thought was I just couldn't lose him before I got the chance to tell him how much I loved him but then I thought about you and how difficult it must have been to save Matt's life knowing his survival most likely meant the end of us and your happiness. John, you have never wavered in your love for me. You have done everything in your power to make me happy even at the expense of your own. I have never had a man do that for me before."

John placed his hands on her shoulders, "I didn't know how to love you any other way."

She turned, held his face in her hands, and kissed him, "thank you for being the sweet, kind, loving man you are."

He pulled her toward him and held her close as he whispered, "I could try and fool myself into believing that I could live without you but I'm ashamed to say that I need you and your children in my life, Kitty. I just don't want to do anything that will make life difficult for you."

She smiled as she broke their embrace, "I'm sure we can work all that out John."

He smiled, "I still think it best that you go lie down and get some rest and let me sit with Matt for the rest of the evening. What do you say?"

She shook her head, "no, John, I'm staying."

He took a deep breath as he shook his head, "all right. I had planned to stay the night at the hospital just in case you needed me." He kissed her forehead, "good night Kitty."

She smiled, "good night John and thanks." He nodded, walked to the door, and disappeared into the hallway.

Maggie tossed and turned as she wondered what was happening down at the hospital. She sat up and rubbed her eyes and decided to go down to the kitchen and make a cup of warm milk. After choosing a book in the library, she sat in the arm chair and began to read. She looked up when the front door opened thinking it was Kitty but it was Claire instead. By the look on her sister's face she prayed it wasn't bad news, "How is Matt, Claire?"

She shook her head, "I don't know. The last I saw him was when they brought him in."

Maggie looked puzzled, "and you didn't stay to help?"

Claire whispered, "John thought it best if I came home."

Maggie looked confused as she placed the book on the end table and walked over to Claire. She placed her arm around her sister's shoulder and they slowly walked toward the sofa and sat. "Now why would he do that? I thought you two had a great working relationship and he relied on you."

She shrugged, "I guess he thought I was too emotionally involved."

Maggie eyed her sister, "what does that mean?"

Claire stood abruptly and began to pace, "do I have to spell it out? I have feelings for Matt."

Maggie watched her sister pace in front of her. She patted the cushion, "come on now and sit." Claire stared at Maggie and slowly sat back down. "How did this happen?"

Claire threw her hands up, "I don't know."

Maggie reached out and took Claire's hand, "please tell me you didn't…"

Claire chuckled, "Matt hardly knows I exist, his mind is always on Kitty."

Maggie patted Claire's hand, "I'm happy to hear that." Claire was on the verge of tears, "would you like to talk about it?"

Claire hesitated at first then nodded, "shortly after Matt arrived, I came home one night and he invited me in for a drink. He was very upset and we sat and talked, or should I say, I listened. The entire conversation was about Kitty and I could see the pain he was in so I tried to assure him that one day everything would work out between them. From time to time we would get together in the evenings to talk." She shrugged, "I guess I began to look forward to it more than I should have." She looked down, "as time went on, and Kitty was still keeping Matt at a distance, I started to believe that there might be a place for me in his life." She stood and paced, "I watched them New Year's Eve, the way he looked at her, the gentleness in the way he held her, the long, tender kiss." She waved her hand, "I realized then that it would be foolish to try and compete with her but that doesn't make it easier to forget him." She wrapped her arms across her chest, "what I wouldn't give to spend one night in his arms."

Maggie walked to her sister and held her, "I'm so sorry Claire. The next time I see Miss Kitty I'm going to suggest that Matt recover in her home."

Claire broke the embrace and looked at Maggie and smiled, "oh, I don't think you're going to have to mention it. I have a feeling that Kitty has already made those plans." She chuckled, "you know, one of these days I'm going to fall in love with a man who is going to love me back."

Maggie smiled, "I know you will someday."

Claire hugged Maggie, "thanks for listening sis."

"That's what sisters are for." Maggie held her sister's hands, "do you want to stay here with me tonight?"

Claire shook her head, "I'm going to be fine."

Maggie smiled, "all right then." The sisters walked arm-in-arm toward the door. "I'll see you tomorrow Claire."

Claire gave her sister a big hug, "good night Maggie…and thanks." Maggie walked with her on to the porch and watched as she made her way home. Claire opened the door and slowly made her way to the armchair and sat down. She took a deep breath as the faint trace of sage reminded her of him. He was going to be hard to get over but it was perfectly clear to her now that she needed to try.

Kitty was asleep in the chair as the early morning light crept into the room. Matt began to stir and his soft groaning woke her. She held his hand and sat on the bed as Matt's eyes flickered open. He smiled when he saw her sitting there, "welcome back cowboy."

He grimaced as he tried to get in a comfortable position, a voice raspy from the anesthesia, "it's good to be back."

She ran her hand through his hair, "you took an awful chance Matt."

He nodded, "I felt it was a chance worth taking." He closed his eyes a moment as he took a deep breath, "did they catch him?"

"No, but they think you wounded him so it's probably only a matter of time before he shows up at some hospital."

He nodded again, "good. How long have I been out?"

"Not long, John said that you were very lucky."

Matt furrowed his brow, "John?"

She nodded, "he was the surgeon on call when they brought you in."

Matt managed a slight smile, "great, something else I'll have to be thankful to him for."

Kitty smiled, "that's something we're both thankful for." She ran her hand up and down his arm, "right now, all I want you to worry about is getting well." She leaned over and kissed him, "since you're awake I'll go get John. I'm sure he'll want to examine you."

He held her hand, "before you get John can't we have a few moments together Kitty?"

She smiled, "you really should be getting some rest and I think it's important for John to examine you," she paused as she stared into his eyes, "but I don't think my staying here for awhile will hurt you any." She stroked his face, "I love you Matt." He tried desperately to stay awake but his eyes slowly began to close as a grin spread across his face.

Kitty paced nervously as John examined Matt. She quickly turned when she heard the door opening. John smiled as he walked over to Kitty, "all his vital signs are good and he is doing remarkably well for all he's been through."

Kitty took a deep breath, "John, you'll never know how glad I am to hear that." Kitty walked over and looked into Matt's room, "do you think he'll be out for awhile? I'd like to go home and freshen up."

John smiled, "I think you should consider taking a nap also."

Kitty shook her head, "no, John, I don't want to be away for that long."

He ran his hands up and down her arms and smiled, "I know better than to argue with you so, I guess, I'll see you in a little while." He watched Kitty leave the hospital and then turned to visit his next patient.

Kitty arrived home and as she entered the foyer the children came running, "how's Daddy, Mom?"

"Your father is doing very well Katie…considering."

"You mean he's going to be all right Ma?"

Kitty nodded, "that's what your Uncle John thinks, Matthew."

"You mean Uncle John operated on our Dad?"

Kitty smiled, "yes, he did Russell."

"When can he come home Ma?"

"He'll be in the hospital for a little while yet Joseph but…"

Katie put her hand on her hip, "he _is _coming home here…isn't he Mom?"

Kitty smiled, "don't worry Katie; your father will be living here with us when he leaves the hospital. I'll need you to help me get the bedroom in the back set up for him."

Katie looked puzzled, "the bedroom in the back? Shouldn't he be with you?"

"Your father needs to heal…"

"So…why can't he heal in your room?"

Kitty cleared her throat, "never mind Katie, if it's not too much trouble can you please just do as you're told?"

Katie smiled, "I'll do anything so Daddy will be living here again," she shook her head, "I just don't understand why he can't…"

Kitty took an exasperated breath, "Katie!" Her daughter fell silent, "now, I'm going to go upstairs and freshen up and then I'm going back to the hospital."

"Can we go too Ma?"

"Matthew, it's best if your father has limited visitors for now but I promise you he'll be home soon." She started for the stairs then looked back at the children, "I will tell your father that you all send your love."

When Matt woke he was disappointed that Kitty wasn't there. He looked around the room and took a deep breath. He grimaced as a pain shot through his chest and he closed his eyes for a moment to let it subside. He hoped that after the seriousness of his injury had passed that Kitty wouldn't have second thoughts about their relationship. After some time, she could come to realize he was still taking too many foolish chances and that would drive a further wedge between them. After all, John was still the steady, responsible man in her life and this might be another indication that Matt couldn't be relied upon to make the right decision for her or the children. He was staring at the ceiling, so many thoughts swirling through his mind, when he heard the door open. "Well, you certainly look better than you did."

Matt smiled, "I always look better when I see you."

She sat on the bed and held his hand, "John said you're improving nicely."

"Good, then I'll be getting out of here soon."

She placed her hand on his chest, "hold on there cowboy, you're not getting out of here before the doctor says you can…you hear me?"

Matt smiled, "I hear." He paused a moment, "speaking of getting out of here…where exactly will I be going?"

She smiled, "you'll be coming home Matt. We're going to get Maggie's old room ready for you."

He ran his hand along her thigh, "well…that's a start."

She grabbed his hand, "never mind Matt, your first priority is to heal." She smiled, "we'll discuss the rest later."

He smiled, happier than he had been in a long time, "yes ma'am."

A week had passed since Matt was shot and his eagerness to leave the hospital and return home grew with each passing day. He was deep in his thoughts when John entered the room. He smiled hoping for good news. "How are you feeling Matt?"

"I'm feeling well enough to go home; I'll tell you that much John."

John chuckled, "I can understand that all right." He examined Matt then smiled, "I see no reason why you can't go home today."

Matt took a deep breath, "I'm glad to hear that John." He paused, "before Kitty gets here there's something I'd like to say."

John looked puzzled, "what's that?"

"I've been giving this a little thought the past few days and," he paused, "well…I know it couldn't have been easy for you to save my life John. Your future would be very different with me out of the picture. I…uh…want you to know that I really respect and admire you doctor and I can see why Kitty loved you." He extended his hand, "thanks John, I will be forever in your debt."

John took his hand as he shook his head, "you owe me nothing Matt except to cherish Kitty." They released the handshake, "I think you should know there was never a day that she stopped loving you." John smiled, "I would have done whatever it took to make her happy even though I knew that I would never really have her heart. That would always belong to you." He paused, "I thought you should know that in case you had any doubts."

Matt smiled, "John, Kitty wouldn't have been with you if she hadn't loved you too…I'm sure of that."

John smiled, "well, I hope so because I loved her."

Matt nodded, "I know that."

The door opened and both men turned in that direction, "so, what's the verdict doctor…is today the day that Matt is able to leave the hospital?"

John cleared his throat, "we were just discussing that." He looked back at Matt, "I think he can be released into your very capable hands."

Kitty walked closer to the bed, "well, that _is_ good news." She looked at Matt, "ready to come home cowboy?"

Matt smiled, "more than ready!"

John looked at Matt and Kitty, "well, if you two will excuse me, I have other patients to see today."

Kitty followed after him and grabbed his arm, "John, thank you so much."

He smiled, "my pleasure," he reached over and kissed her cheek. "I'll see you later."

Kitty walked back to Matt, "let's get you dressed and get you home." She reached into her bag and pulled out his clothes.

"You'll never know how good that sounds."

He gently touched her face and slowly pulled her into a passionate kiss. "Matt, we're still in the hospital."

"So?"

"They'll be talking about us."

He waved his hand, "oh, let them talk."

He ran his lips down her neck, "oh, I can see already how difficult you're going to make it to heal." He smiled as she pulled away, "come on cowboy, get your clothes on. We'll negotiate this later."

He chuckled, "whatever you say…Miss Kitty."

She swatted his arm, "I'll give you Miss Kitty, now let's get dressed." They both looked at each other and laughed as Kitty helped him with his shirt.

When they returned home, Kitty gingerly helped Matt from the coach. She held him tight as they navigated the porch stairs, "easy now Matt, you don't need to sprint the steps."

Matt's face showed his annoyance, "Kitty, I'm not an invalid, you know."

"I know that but you're not as young as you used to be either."

He took a deep breath, "thanks for reminding me."

As they entered the foyer, the children came running and Katie grabbed her father tight. He winced, "Daddy, it's so good to have you home."

He patted her back lightly, "it's good to be home Katie."

"Katie, your father needs to go to his room. Once he's situated you all can sit with him as much as you like…OK?"

"You need help getting up the stairs Dad?"

"Thanks Matthew but I think I can manage." He turned to Kitty, "although your mother might have other ideas."

Kitty shot him her look, "never mind," she looked at Matthew, "your father could use a little help Matthew, thanks."

Matt smiled, "see what I mean." He laid his arm around Matthew's shoulders, "come on son, it's never a good idea to get your mother riled." He looked over at Kitty and winked, "she packs a mean wallop." Kitty shook her head as Matt looked over at his other two sons, "Joseph, Russell, why don't you come along too, us men have to stick together."

The Dillon males made their way up the stairs. Katie turned to her mother, "Daddy is just so funny."

Kitty put her hand on her hip and replied sarcastically, "hilarious!" She put her arm around her daughter's shoulders, "let's see what we can rustle up for lunch."

Matt looked around the room and grimaced as he was still experiencing some pain. It had been two days since he arrived home and to be with his family again was well worth the sting of a gunshot wound. With a tray of soup and crackers straddling his legs and his back propped against the headboard, Matt more than appreciated his good fortune. As each day passed, he felt he was coming that much closer to reclaiming his connection to Kitty and he looked forward to the moments when they would sit and talk. He was sipping his soup when Kitty walked into the room. "I was just coming to see if you needed anything but I guess Maggie has that covered already."

Matt smiled as he patted the bed for Kitty to sit, "she's been taking very good care of me…I think she deserves a raise."

Kitty smiled and nodded in agreement, "she is invaluable."

Matt gave Kitty his little boy look, "you know…moving still causes me some pain. It might be nice if you could help feed me."

Kitty smiled, "oh, I'm sure it would be but I'm hoping the pain will remind you how you almost got yourself killed."

Matt furrowed his brow, "so does that mean you're not going to feed me?"

Kitty frowned, "ooh, Matt Dillon, I'm still so mad at you!"

He dismissed her anger, "Kitty, I'm perfectly fine."

"That's not the issue!"

"What is the issue?"

"The issue is we were just beginning to get our family back together when you decided that playing lawman was more important than living the rest of your life as husband and father."

He ran his hand up and down her thigh, "I didn't realize I had resumed my role as husband." He looked back at the door, "you know…I could probably heal faster if you spent the next few nights lying in my arms."

Kitty's eyes closed slowly as she enjoyed Matt's touch. She took a deep breath before she quickly grabbed his hand, "Matt…_that_ is not helping."

He grinned. "Oh, I don't know, you seemed to be enjoying it."

She slapped his arm, "oh…you."

He winced then smiled, "easy now, I'm still a recovering man."

She stood, "I knew talking to you was going to be pointless, I don't know why I even bother to try!"

Matt patted the bed again, "honey, sit down." She folded her arms across her chest, "come on now…sit down. I have something I want to say." He patted the bed again, "come on."

She slowly sat on the bed. "I know I took a chance but I had this gut feeling that the man I saw was the man we've been looking for. When I entered that alley, the only thing on my mind was how I had to get this guy off the street before you became his next victim. I couldn't let him get away and give him that opportunity." He took her hand, "it's probably why he was able to get me in that position because I wasn't thinking clearly, I was thinking of you." He smiled, "Kitty, I know you were against me working with the police but I really believe I can make a difference. There is really no danger to this job except," he paused and grinned. "When your husband thinks he's back in Dodge hunting down an outlaw." He laid his hand on her thigh, "I thought he was going to get away and I had to stop him."

"But Matt…how could you be so sure it was him?"

He shrugged, "I didn't but there was just something in his eyes," He reached up and touched her face, "I need to do something with my life Kitty but that doesn't mean that you and the children are any less important to me. It just means I was given a chance to be useful to society again and I took it." She stared into his eyes before reaching out to touch his face. She slowly moved to give him a kiss. He pulled her tighter but as their kiss deepened he winced and she pulled away quickly. He whispered, "let's not stop there Kitty."

She shook her head, "you're not fully healed yet Matt."

He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, "oh, I'm sure we can work around that…we always used to."

"Yes, and that was in the privacy of our room…not in a house full of children."

Matt ginned, "I'm sure if I asked them to leave us alone for a moment they would gladly oblige."

Kitty stood, "when…or if…we need a moment to be alone I will be the one to decide."

Matt chuckled, "yes ma'am."

She pointed to the tray. "Now…eat your soup before it gets cold." Matt watched her walk out of the room and smiled as he thought, "_yep, it's only a matter of time_."

Later that afternoon, Matt awoke from his nap and heard voices coming up the stairs. "He's in here sir."

Matt looked up as Matthew lead Eric into the room. "Thank you Matthew."

"You're welcome sir." He looked at Matt, "can I get you or Captain Fournier anything Dad?"

Matt looked up at Eric who shook his head, "I think we're fine Matthew, thanks."

Eric sat in the chair by the bed, "you're recuperating nicely I see."

Matt smiled as he pulled himself against the headboard, "I'm home and that's all that matters. Did they find the guy I shot?"

Eric shook his head, "either he's lying dead somewhere or someone has been hiding him. Can you remember anything about him?"

Matt took a deep breath, "Eric, I wish I was paying more attention as I passed him. The only thing that stood out was his eyes…those green eyes."

Eric thought a moment then stood, "well, it's a start."

Matt looked puzzled, "do you think you know who it is?"

"I'm not sure but I do know a man with green eyes and I think I'll pay him a visit." He put his hand on Matt's shoulder, "thanks Matt, I'm very glad we didn't lose you."

The tiny bell above the door chimed with the arrival of the store patron. A woman emerged from behind the curtain, "can I help you sir?"

Eric showed the woman his badge, "I'm Captain Fournier, I was wondering if Mr. Beaumont is in?"

She glanced at his badge then his long frame, "I'm sorry sir but Mr. Beaumont isn't here."

"Do you know where I might find him?"

She shrugged, "he said he needed to get away for awhile. I'm not accustomed to asking my boss his whereabouts."

"When did he leave?"

Sarah thought a moment, "oh, I'd say, almost two weeks ago."

Eric nodded, "I see…did he tell you in person that he was leaving?"

She shook her head, "no sir, came in one morning and there was a note on the desk over there," she pointed, "saying that he needed to get away and that I was to run the store until he came back."

Eric looked around, "not doing too much business today."

Sarah looked down, "no sir." She took a deep breath, "the women would rather wait until Mr. Beaumont comes back. They like it when he fawns over them and makes them feel good." She looked up, "it sometimes gets to him though."

Eric looked puzzled, "what does?"

"You know, always having to play the game."

Eric shook his head, "play the game?"

Annoyed, Sarah took a deep breath, "always having to compliment them just to make a sale." She rolled her eyes, "there are days I can't stand to listen to it all."

Eric pursed his lips, "would you happen to know if Mr. Beaumont has someone special in his life that I might be able to speak with."

Sarah laughed, "Mr. Beaumont?" She shook her head, "I don't think he'll ever get married."

Eric smiled, "I'm well aware of his reputation with the ladies but surely he must have someone who he favors more than the others."

She shook her head, "as I told you, he said he is never going to settle down."

Eric tried hard not to let the frustration show on his face, "did he mention when he will be back?"

She shrugged, "he didn't say."

Eric nodded in thought, "and you said he left almost two weeks ago…right?"

She nodded, "bout that."

Eric smiled, "thank you for your time today." He headed for the door then turned back to Sarah, "hope things pick up for you around here."

She gave a look of dejection, "I wouldn't bet on it."

Eric smiled as the bell to the store rang, "Captain," Eric turned. "They found a guy in some flop house on Jefferson that been shot. It looks like someone took the bullet out of him but he just got worse. A friend found him and brought him to the hospital."

"Let's go."

Eric rushed into the hospital and noticed John down the corridor, "John, where is the gunshot victim?"

He pointed down the hall, "Dr. Mathias is working on him now." John furrowed his brow, "do you think this is the guy that Matt shot?"

"If we're lucky…mind if I wait?"

John shook his head, "not at all. Care for a cup of coffee?"

Eric nodded, "I would…thanks." The two men walked down the hall to the commissary.

That evening, Matthew sat carefully on the bed after giving his father the tray of food, "how are you feeling Dad?"

Matt smiled, "better every day son." Matt looked at the tray, "steak, mashed potatoes, string beans, all smothered in your aunt's delicious gravy." Matt looked over at Matthew and smiled, "we're lucky to have her." Matt eyed Matthew and sensed he wanted to talk, "is there something wrong Matthew?"

Matthew shook his head, "oh, no, Dad it's just…well…I was wondering…um...how does it feel to be shot?"

Matt looked surprised, "why is that on your mind?"

He shrugged, "I don't know…I guess I was just curious. I mean, Ma says you were shot so many times it got me to thinking how much pain you must have gone through over the years and wondered if it was worth it."

Matt thought a moment carefully choosing his words, "The pain is not all that important when you know that you are the person who protects people from those who commit crimes." Matt nodded, "when I remembered that it made it all worthwhile."

Matthew smiled, "well, I better let you eat your dinner before it gets too cold." He stood and stared at his father, "Dad, I sure am proud of you. I'll see you later." Matt watched his son leave and smiled.

Later that evening, Kitty quietly climbed the stairs after returning home from _**Russell's**_. She stood for a moment and looked down the corridor at Matt's bedroom door. After much hesitation, she quietly made her way down the hall and slowly opened the door. She could hear his faint snore and she smiled as she approached the bed. She turned the lamp low and stood for a moment as she stared at the man who she had loved forever. She bent to kiss his forehead which caused him to stir and open his eyes, "I'm hoping this isn't a dream."

She whispered. "Looks like you're still a light sleeper."

She sat on the edge of the bed as he pulled himself up. "How was everything down at the _**Russell's**_ this evening?"

She smiled, "same as always."

He chuckled, "still making money then?"

She nodded, "some days are better than others."

They stared at each other as Matt reached out for her hand, "um…it was nice that you came to tuck me in."

She grinned. "Is that what I was doing?"

He kissed her hand, "honey, stay with me tonight."

"Matt…I…"

He put his hand over her lips, "I'm sure you could use a little massage. That used to really relax you…if I recall."

She gave him her look, "_too_ much…if I recall."

He ran his hand down her neck and body. She swallowed hard as he lingered at her breast, "you want to give it a try?"

She took a deep breath and whispered, "what if you open those stitches Matt."

He grinned, "I wouldn't worry about that." He ran his hand behind her head and gently pulled her into a kiss. He let out with a groan as her body pressed against the wound. She sat up, "Kitty, you're not doing me any harm. Why don't you get undressed and lie next to me. If this starts to bother me, I'll let you know, I promise."

"Matt, I don't want to take that chance. It was crazy for me to come in here tonight. I'll see you in the morning." He tried to protest but she stood quickly and was out the door before he could utter a word. He slouched back down on the pillow and closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. He stared up at the ceiling as the ticking hands of the clock marked the seconds of the night. After awhile, he gingerly turned on his side and scrunched the pillow underneath his head as his eyes slowly closed.

Soft lips tenderly moved down his neck as he moaned in pleasure. He slowly opened his eyes hoping the vision he saw wasn't a dream. Kitty stood and removed her robe as Matt's eyes scanned her naked body in the dim light of the lamp. "Mind if I join you cowboy?"

He moved over and she lay down next to him. He ran his hand down her body, "you feel real enough."

She smiled as she began opening his shirt. She lightly fingered the bandage, "just another one to memorize."

He ran his fingers through her hair, "can you really remember the incident of each scar?"

She nodded, "would you want me to prove that to you or would you prefer to make love to me…your choice."

Matt raised his fingers to his chin in thought, "recital of my wounds might be nice."

She rolled her eyes, "I should know better than to give you a preference!"

They laughed as he held her tight. "I love you Kitty."

She looked up at him, "I love you too Matt."

He kissed her and ran his fingers down her face. "I want to make love to you but you might be right, I will be slightly limited."

She smiled as her hand moved down his body, "we worked it out just fine in Dodge."

He chuckled, "with me flat on my back." He shook his head, "no, Kitty, the first time we are together I want it to be very special."

She looked up at him, "do I have to remind you that we were together the first day you came home."

He shook his head, "I'm still ashamed at the way I behaved that day. I wasn't thinking about you at all." He laid her back on the bed and ran his hand up and down her body. "You are still so beautiful Kitty."

She smiled as she closed her eyes, "that feels so wonderful Matt."

"I promise that one day I'll make you forget…"

She opened her eyes, "what are you going to make me forget?"

"Well…everything you went through while I was away. You know…"

She sat up, "no, I don't know." She paused as she stared into his eyes, "are you thinking about me and John? Are you waiting because you're trying to prove something Matt?"

He replied, annoyance clearly in his voice. "No, it's just that…"

"Well, let me tell you something. No one, and I mean no one, will ever make me feel the way you make me feel no matter how hard they try. Never doubt that Matt."

He moved the hair off her face, "honey, I'm not going to lie and say that you being with John didn't bother me, because it did, but none of that matters now. You're here and we're going to be together for the rest of our lives and I'm going to let you know everyday how much you mean to me." He lightly ran his fingers over her body, "I just want it to be special…that's all." He moved to kiss her but winced from the pain.

Kitty helped him lie back, "I think sleeping in your arms will do just fine tonight Matt." He smiled and held her tight.

The next morning Matt smiled as Kitty stirred in his arms as the light from the rising sun streamed through the lace curtains. He absentmindedly ran his fingers lightly over her soft skin as he planned their perfect night together. Her hand gliding across his chest interrupted his thoughts. "Good morning Matt."

He smiled, "that is the sweetest sound I've heard in years."

Kitty looked puzzled, "good morning Matt?"

He nodded, "when was the last time you said that to me as you woke in my arms?"

She snuggled close, "it has been awhile...hasn't it?"

He kissed the top of her head, "yes, it has."

She looked over at the clock as she yawned, "well…I better get downstairs and start breakfast. The children will be getting up soon."

He took her chin in his fingers and kissed her, "our children are old enough to make their own breakfast. We don't get many chances to be with each other."

She ran her fingers down his face, "that will change."

He smiled, "I'm looking forward to it." He pulled her into a passionate kiss.

As their parents remained in bed, the children filed into the kitchen surprised that Kitty wasn't standing at the stove. They all stared at each other until Katie shrugged, "Mom probably came home late last night so let's let her sleep." She moved toward the icebox, "I'll make the eggs."

Matthew grabbed the bacon, "might be nice if we made Ma breakfast for a change."

Joseph began making the coffee and looked over at Matthew, "we probably should make a tray for Dad too."

Russell looked up from setting the table, "good idea."

As the children ate breakfast their conversation centered on their father and how lucky they were to have him home. During their discussion, Katie added how she was looking forward to their parents acting romantic again which made her brothers squirm. "Ah, Katie, why'd ya have to bring that up for?"

Katie looked surprised, "what's wrong with that Matthew? That's what married people do…you know."

Matthew scrunched up his face, "I know but I don't want to think about Ma and Dad like that."

Katie waved her hand, "oh, grow up Matthew. If it bothers you so much Joseph or Russell can take Daddy his food and you can stay behind and clean."

"Nah, I'll bring Dad his breakfast."

She stood, "good…now help me cook their food and we'll take it up to them."

Matthew led the way and headed for Matt's room as Katie went in the opposite direction. Just as Matthew reached his father's room his mother swung the door opened and clutched the top of her robe. Matthew's face turned a bright crimson. "I…I mean we…were…um…bringing you and Dad breakfast."

Kitty pushed Matthew's hair off his forehead, "that was very thoughtful Matthew." She cleared her throat as she pointed toward the room, "I was just checking in on your father. He's awake and I know he's pretty hungry."

Still embarrassed, Matthew looked down, "yes, Ma."

As he continued into Matt's room Kitty made her way down the hall. Katie grinned as Kitty approached, "and what are you so happy about this morning Katie?"

"I just think it's nice that you went down to see Daddy. Maybe you'd like to have breakfast with him."

Kitty eyed her daughter, "although a very pleasant thought, I just don't have the time today." She placed her hand on Katie's back, "just place the tray on my bed and I'll quickly have a bite to eat in here."

Kitty took the cup of coffee and placed her hand on her daughter's face, "this was very sweet of you and your brothers to make us breakfast…thank you Katie." Kitty turned and Katie watched as her mother walked into the next room to bathe. Katie laid the tray on the bed and then she noticed Kitty's nightgown lying over the footboard. She fingered the fabric, smiled, and then left the room.

Across town, Eric paced in the hospital corridor waiting for John. The alleged shooting suspect was scheduled to be released today and he was anxious to bring him down to headquarters for questioning. If all went well, they would be able to close the case on the string of murdered women that had gripped the city for the past two years. John emerged from the room and made his way toward Eric. "I hope you have good news for me today doctor."

John smiled, "it might be good news for you but I'm sure it's not great news for our patient."

Eric smiled, "I promise I'll go easy on him."

"If it turns out he is the killer it will be good to know he is off the streets."

Eric extended his hand, "thanks for everything John."

John shook his hand, "you bet."

Back at headquarters the officers led the suspect into the interrogation room. Cole Evans waited nervously in the dark, dreary room holding his side that still throbbed occasionally. He wasn't sure why he was there and the delay was beginning to unnerve him. He looked over as the door opened slowly and a man walked leisurely to the table with a folder in his hand. "Cole, I'm Captain Fournier and I'd like to ask you a few questions."

Cole nodded as he tried to convey a brave front, "shoot."

"I'd like you to tell me a little about that gunshot wound."

He shrugged, "not much to tell. I was walking home from work and the next thing I know my side is bleeding and I hurt something awful."

"Why didn't you have that taken care of right away? It seems to me when a person is shot they'd want to get the best medical care."

Cole looked down, "doctors scare me."

"So you'd rather die then get some help?" Eric eyed the suspect, "tell me, do you own a gun?"

The suspect looked horrified, "gun…no…why'd I need a gun for?"

Eric leaned back in the chair, "Cole, I'm gonna give it to you straight. We believe you shot one of our officers about two weeks ago and he winged you. You were afraid to show up at one of our medical facilities because we'd know you did it. So you went to a friend to get some help and if you didn't take a turn for the worse you might have gotten away with it." Cole went to stand to object but he winced from the pain and slowly sat back in the chair. "Were you going to say something Cole?"

"I didn't shoot nobody, I told you I was walking along the street and someone shot me."

Eric leaned forward, "put yourself in my place Cole. Do you really think what you are telling me makes a whole lot of sense?"

"But that is what happened…I swear!"

Eric nodded, "all right then." He paused as he rustled through the papers in the folder. "Did you know Elizabeth Morey, Candice Hartley, or Harriet Trumbull?" He stared at Eric, "so…you do know them...right?"

Cole pointed toward the folder. "You know I do. I worked as part of the grounds crew." He pointed at Eric. "You know I had me an alibi when those women were killed."

Eric placed the folder on the table and nodded, "that you did but I thought we'd talk a little more about it." Eric stared at Cole, "you don't mind now…do you?"

Cole shook his head, "nothin' gonna change…I didn't kill them women."

Eric put his hands up, "all right…all right, I just would like to clarify a couple of things." He paused, "did you ever meet any of the husbands of the women I mentioned?"

"No sir."

"Hmm…never saw them huh?"

He leaned back in his chair, "they were at work when we were there. The boss probably saw them though."

"And what about the women? Did you ever have any contact with them?"

He vehemently shook his head, "no sir, never even said hello."

Eric stood and began to pace, "now, you see, I have a problem with that. They were beautiful women and they were there while you worked. I would think any man would be attracted to them."

Cole again shook his head, "not me, I know my place."

"But you did look…right? I mean you're a fairly attractive man, I would think you could get any woman if you put your mind to it."

He laughed nervously. "Not married women, they're nothing but trouble. I don't need no husband coming after me. It's not worth it, I tell ya."

"Is that who you thought was following you into the alley?"

Cole looked puzzled, "what alley, I don't know nothin' about an alley."

Eric sat on the table, "so you're walking along and all of a sudden some man is following you. You get scared thinking it's one of the husbands and you think he's out to get you. You lead him into the alley and then you shoot him."

Fear now etched Cole's face, "no, I don't even own a gun." He tried to stand quickly but the pain made him grab his side and he slowly sat down. "I didn't do it…ya gotta believe me."

Eric paced again, "Cole, I think you should know the person who was shot lived. It might go easier on you if you told the truth before he came down and identified you."

He spoke with a bit of bravado in his voice, "Bring him on down Captain. He ain't gonna identify me."

Eric slammed his hand on table and Cole flinched, "I'm tired of playing these games Cole. Now...I'm going to ask you just one more time. Why did you lead that man into the alley and shoot him?"

Cole shook his head, "you're not gonna get me to admit to nothin'. I'm gonna tell ya again Captain. I was walkin' home from work and I got shot. No one is gonna make me say nothin' else."

Eric stared at Cole, "OK Cole, I gave you a chance...just remember that."

Eric grabbed the folder and turned to leave the room, "hey, wait, Captain." Eric turned toward Cole, "you releasing me?"

Eric shook his head, "not until I can prove what you just told me."

"You can't keep me here, you have no right."

Eric smiled, "you'll be released in due time if your account of what happened checks out." Eric motioned toward Cole, "I'll have someone come in and check on your wound." He closed the door and Cole leaned against the chair and took a deep breath.

Eric left headquarters and headed for the Dillon's home. He left the coach and walked up the pathway and knocked at the front door. Katie answered, "hi, Captain Fournier."

Eric smiled, "well, Miss Katie, how are you today?"

"I'm fine sir. I suppose you want to speak with my father?"

Eric nodded, "can I just go up or do you need to announce me?"

Katie giggled, "I think you know your way by now."

Eric bowed slightly, "thank you Katie." He climbed the stairs and knocked on Matt's door.

"Yes." Matt looked up from his book, "well, Eric, come in."

Eric smiled, "how are you feeling Matt?"

Matt smiled, "feeling better every day."

"I'm glad to hear that."

Matt motioned for Eric to take a seat, "so, what can I do for you today Eric?"

Eric reached into his pocket, "I have a photo here that I'd like you to see."

Matt reached for the photo and looked at Eric puzzled, "who is this?"

"We think he's the man who shot you."

Matt shook his head, "I'm not saying he didn't but he's definitely not the man I passed in the street."

"Are you sure?"

Matt nodded, "definitely."

Eric took a deep breath, "I guess we're back to square one."

Matt thought a minute. "Can you find a reason to keep him?"

Eric leaned forward in the chair, "that's just it Matt. This guy worked as part of the grounds crew at the home of three of the dead women. He had an alibi when we spoke with him after the murders but I just have this feeling about him."

Matt shook his head, "I wish I could help you Eric but I didn't really see the man who shot me, the alley was too dark."

Eric chuckled as he stood, "this man does have green eyes…I thought for sure we had a match." He extended his hand, "hope to see you soon down at the station."

Matt nodded as he watched Eric leave the room. He looked down at the photo and shook his head disappointed that they hit another dead end.


	43. Our Love Renewed

With case files strewn across his desk and his investigation stalled, Eric leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath. It had been two weeks since he stopped by the shop to interview Jean Paul and the fact that he had not returned from Baton Rouge was beginning to concern him. He rose from his chair and headed toward his office door. He turned to the Sergeant at the front desk as he was leaving the building, "I'm heading down to Beaumont's but I'll be back."

The Sergeant nodded, "sure Captain."

The bell on the door announced Eric's arrival but this time the sound was muffled by the noise of women chatting and all vying for the shop owner's attention. Eric noticed Sara and walked toward her, "well, I guess the boss is back."

She rolled her eyes, "pretty fancy detective work, Captain."

Eric chuckled, "I should probably sit back and observe. I have a feeling I'll learn a thing or two about pleasing a woman."

"Do you want me to get Mr. Beaumont for you?"

Before Eric could answer Jean Paul appeared with his arm draped around a woman, showering her with the sweetest compliments. As he watched woman after woman submit to Jean Paul's charms he thought, e_xactly __the __kind __of __man __a __woman __might __believe __they __couldn__'__t __live __without._ Jean Paul finally looked over to where Eric was standing with Sara. He whispered a word of endearment to his customer and then walked toward him. "Well, Captain, Sara told me that you had stopped in a couple of weeks ago wanting to speak with me. I would have come down to headquarters but," he looked back at the women, "it has been so busy here since my return."

Eric nodded, "I was hoping I wouldn't catch you at a bad time."

Jean Paul waved his hand, "assisting the police has always been my first priority. What's on your mind, Captain?"

Eric looked around the room, "is there somewhere else we can talk?"

Jean Paul nodded, "but of course," he motioned with his hand, "follow me." He turned to Sara, "Sara, dear, could you please ring Mrs. Farnsworth…I'll be right back."

They walked into the back office and Jean Paul offered Eric a seat as he sat at his desk. "What did you need to speak with me about?"

"Well, one of my officers was shot a few weeks back and we believe it may have something to do with the last woman murdered."

Jean Paul looked confused, "and how can I help you Captain?"

"We are of the opinion that the shooter might have mistaken my officer for the husband of the victim and thought the man was out to kill him."

Jean Paul shook his head still puzzled, "I still don't see how I can be of help."

"Jean Paul, let's not play games. You have a very unique relationship with all these women. I would almost bet that they have confided in you from time to time. It is clear that Elizabeth Morey was having an affair and I was hoping that she might have said something to you about it."

"Captain, most of my customers are lonely, pathetic, women that are neglected by their overbearing rich husbands who only want them around for their beauty. They are trophies sir, nothing more. I would find it hard to believe if they weren't having affairs."

Eric eyed Jean Paul, "if you don't mind me asking, where were you the past two weeks?"

Jean Paul smiled, "I was in Baton Rouge visiting my aunt. She was under the weather and I thought it would do us both some good to spend some time together." He reached for a piece of paper and a pen, "her name is Gertrude DePaul," He handed the name and address to Eric, "if you would like to check on my whereabouts, feel free Captain."

Eric took the slip of paper and placed it in his pocket as he stood, "well, I think I've taken up enough of your time today Jean Paul."

Jean Paul extended his hand, "anytime I can be of assistance I'm more than happy to oblige." As Eric reached the door Jean Paul called after him, "come to think of it Captain, Elizabeth did mention something about being attracted to one of the men who worked at the house. I can't recall if she ever mentioned his name," he waved his hand, "if she did I can't remember it now but she would make lemonade for him and he would hang around after work to talk with her before her husband got home." Jean Paul chuckled, "it just seemed very innocent to me, a lonely woman looking for a little attention. It's hardly worth mentioning really." Eric nodded and walked toward the front door with Jean Paul closely behind.

Across town, Matt slowly positioned his feet on the floor and took a deep breath. He stood slowly, holding his side, as he gradually made his way around the room. He opened his bedroom door and walked down to the end of the hallway. Kitty's bedroom door was opened halfway and he knocked softly. He peered into the room and noticed Kitty sitting out on the veranda as he quietly entered. When he reached the French doors he stood for a moment staring at the woman who captured his heart so many years ago.

She jumped slightly when Matt sat next to her, then she turned to him and smiled, "you must be feeling better."

He nodded, "I thought it was about time I got my sea legs back."

She reached out for his hand, "Matt, please don't overdo it."

He patted her hand, "I don't intend to. There is nowhere else I want to be." She looked away back at the horizon as Matt stared at her puzzled, "did I say something wrong Kitty?"

She shook her head, "no…I was just thinking about the time you spent away from us." She looked back at him, "do you miss it Matt?"

Matt looked perplexed, "the mountains?" She nodded, "Kitty, I never want to see another mountain for as long as I live."

She paused, "do you ever wonder how the young woman you were living with is doing?"

He shrugged, "she has crossed my mind a few times." She fell silent and looked away, "but that doesn't mean I want to be back there with her." He squeezed her hand, "Kitty, I never want to be anywhere else but here…I mean that."

She turned and smiled, "I know you do."

Matt stared into her eyes, "it's just that she had a rough life. The men who came to her father's trading post were, let's just say, not looking for marriage."

Kitty raised an eyebrow, "and she thought you were?"

Matt shook his head, "no, but I was the only man she had met that treated her with any decency. She was just trying to escape her horrible situation, that's all." Matt's face brightened, "hey, you'll never guess who showed up at the cabin."

Kitty shook her head, "who?"

"Tobeel."

Kitty furrowed her brow, "you mean he was still alive?"

Matt nodded, "yep, stayed with me for awhile." Matt began to chuckle, "he showed up one day with a few bottles of whiskey and we got hammered that night." Matt shook his head, "it's the darnedest thing Kitty, the next morning he was absolutely fine but it took me a few days to get over it." Matt paused, "yeah, poor old Tobeel, he was certainly worried about me."

Kitty furrowed her brow, "why was that?"

"Well, he and Bright Moon had a few conversations and…uh…I guess he got the impression that she was determined to seduce me. He thought I was crazy to stay there and tried a number of times to convince me to leave it all behind and go home before I was unfaithful to you."

Kitty rolled her eyes, "huh…and I always thought he was the crazy one. He showed a heap more sense then you!"

He kissed her hand, "I'm not going to argue that." He paused before running his hand through her hair, "I came so close to making the biggest mistake of my life."

"Why didn't you get Tobeel to stay, you know, to help you fight off all those unwanted advances?"

Matt took a deep breath, "Kitty, now, under different circumstances I might have been flattered having a young woman attracted to me but I knew it was only out of desperation that she had any interest."

Kitty shot him an incredulous look, "Don't kid yourself Matt there was more there then desperation."

Matt ran his fingers down her face, "not for me Kitty. I could never love another woman, I hope you know that."

She smiled as she stared into his eyes, "so, what happened to Tobeel?"

Matt shrugged, "I don't know, he was just drifting around. His wife had died so I think he just wanted to keep moving, not spending too much time in any one place."

Kitty shook her head, "that's too bad." She looked down, "I owe him my life and that is something I'll never forget."

Matt smiled, "neither will I." They held hands as they swayed in the rockers for awhile. "Kitty?"

"Hmm?"

"Eric mentioned to me that you were almost killed by some woman who John knew."

She raised her hand in dismissal, "that was a long time ago."

"I'd still like to hear about it."

She took a deep breath, "there's not much to tell Matt."

He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, "why don't you let me be the judge of that."

Kitty shrugged, "all right…Regina and John had grown up together and she happened to work for the man who John asked to help find you. Her husband had died and John thought it might be a nice idea to renew old acquaintances but what he didn't know was that she had been in love with him for many years. When John stopped seeing her she assumed it was because he and I were in love. She met me one day and threatened to kill me if I ever went near John again." She waved her hand, "it was all so silly really."

Matt furrowed his brow, "it doesn't sound so silly to me Kitty…why don't you tell me the rest."

"Well, John bore the worst of it. He had to maintain the relationship and do whatever it was she wanted for fear that she would come after me." Kitty paused a moment, "it was really hard on our children Matt because they couldn't understand why John had just abruptly stopped seeing them." She shook her head, "first you…then him." She looked away, "after awhile though I think he came to love her and they were planning to get married. When I took Frank to the train I noticed John and Regina standing on the platform and then I saw Regina board the train. On his way home from visiting a patient later that evening John decided to stop by and see us. On his way up the path Regina came out of nowhere threatening to kill me. John tried to stop her so she shot him. When Doc and I came out on the porch, she pointed the gun at me and was about to pull the trigger when Eric showed up. He tried to reason with her but in the end he had to kill her." She looked back at Matt, "I was still pretty rattled when I went to bed that night." She paused as she looked into his eyes, "oh, Matt, I needed you so."

Matt reached out and touched her face, "I'm so sorry I wasn't there Kitty."

She kissed the palm of his hand, "it's funny, but after some time I came to feel sorry for her…she was like Bright Moon in a way."

Matt looked puzzled, "how so?"

"Both women wanted someone so badly they would go to any lengths. One wanted to kill me and the other wanted your children."

Matt shook his head, "I don't remember saying that."

"Matt, you didn't have to. She was a young woman who was treated badly by all the men she met and then you came along. If it meant returning to that life or having your child to keep you there, well, I would have done the same thing."

Matt smiled, "oh…you would have huh?"

Kitty smiled, "no doubt about it."

Matt leaned in to her, "I'll let you in on a little secret."

She leaned closer to him, "what's that?"

"You wouldn't have needed to be so devious."

Kitty whispered. "You mean to tell me you would have gladly been unfaithful, without any second thoughts, if it was me?"

Matt nodded, "yep, because I would have recognized you were the woman I was born to be with and couldn't live without."

Kitty thought a moment, "hmm…been doing a lot of soul searching lately, I see."

Matt nodded, "it might have taken me this long to finally realize what is important in life but at least I got there." Kitty raised her hand and stroked Matt's face. She gently placed her lips on his as she wrapped her hand around his neck. After they released their embrace, they stared into each other's eyes, "I'm so sorry that I put you through all that I did. I am the luckiest man in the world and have been since the day you walked into my life."

Kitty smiled through watery eyes, "oh Matt."

Matt leaned in and kissed her, "I love you Kitty and I promise to be the husband that I should have been so many years ago."

Kitty stood and extended her hand for Matt to hold. "Let's go inside cowboy. I think my husband needs to show me how he intends to live up to his promise."

Matt smiled, "yes ma'am." He stood slowly and Kitty grabbed him around the waist as they walked into the bedroom. Matt closed the door behind them and took Kitty in his arms as his lips brushed against hers. She placed her hands around his neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Matt deftly opened the back buttons to Kitty's blouse as his lips glided down her neck. She moaned softly as he removed the garment and his hands gently stroked her breast. With eyes scanning her body, he smiled, "you are still so beautiful Kitty." He slid his fingers under the strap of her undergarment and slowly moved it down her arm as his lips followed. He looked up and she smiled as she guided him toward the bed. He swallowed hard, "I hope I don't disappoint you Kitty." She pulled him into a kiss as Matthew and Katie came running down the hall heading straight for Kitty's room. They stopped short at the door as Matt tried to quickly shield their mother's half naked body from their view.

Matthew turned away suddenly, "Geez Ma, I'm sorry. I didn't think…I mean…you and Dad were…um…I'll talk to you later." He quickly ran down the stairs.

Kitty looked up at Matt and without turning around took a deep breath, "Katie, what was it that you and your brother wanted?"

Katie smiled, "oh it can wait…believe me…it can wait!" She turned quickly and ran down the stairs.

Kitty placed her hands on his chest, "I'm sorry Matt I should have closed the door."

Matt began to chuckle, "I guess for a moment there I forgot that we had children too." He ran his fingers through her hair, "will it always be this way?"

She shook her head, "it's just a habit for them to run to me with every little thing," She patted his chest, "I think we need to start setting some ground rules now to give us some privacy."

He ran his fingers lightly on her breast, "does that mean we will try this again?"

She smiled, "I think it's fair to say that we will." She raised the straps back on her shoulders and reached for her blouse. "Come on Dad; let's see what our children want." He smiled as he helped her on with the blouse then took her around the waist as they walked toward the stairs.

Matt was just settling in for the evening when there was a knock on the door. "Come in."

"Daddy, I just wanted to say good night." Katie bent over and gave Matt a hug and kiss. "Good night Daddy."

"Uh…before you go Katie I was wondering if you could help your old Dad with something."

He patted the bed for her to sit. "What is it?"

"I was hoping we could go shopping when I finally can move around again."

Katie looked perplexed, "sure but…shopping for what?"

"Clothes for your mother."

Katie giggled slightly, "Daddy, have you ever looked in Mom's closet? The last thing she needs is more clothes!"

"I know that honey but this will be for a special occasion."

Katie's face brightened, "you mean you're going to surprise Mom?"

Matt smiled, "you bet I am." He waved his hand to bring Katie closer as he whispered, "this will be our little secret…OK?"

Katie replied in a whisper, "OK Daddy."

"Now, why don't you get yourself to bed and I'll see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams honey."

Katie leaned in to hug Matt again, "oh, they will be Daddy, they will be." Matt watched as his daughter left the room and he smiled. He fluffed up the pillows and turned out the light, his dreams were going to be sweet too.

Eric sat back, feet up on his desk, twirling a pencil between his fingers trying desperately to piece together the information he had so far on the last murder victim. Hearing the knock at the door he removed his feet and sat upright in his chair. "Yes?"

Matt stuck his head in, "I certainly hope I'm still welcomed here."

Eric smiled as he jumped out of his chair, "you're not only welcomed… you're needed!" Eric pointed to the chair, "Matt please come in and sit." Eric moved from behind his desk and shook Matt's hand, "it's so good to see you up and around Matt."

Matt smiled, "it feels good to be up and around, I'll tell you that much Eric." He pointed to the folders on his desk, "case still giving you problems?'

He nodded, "it's tough when you don't have enough evidence to support your gut feeling."

"I know how that feels, what is your gut telling you?"

"Well, some evidence points to a man who is part of the grounds crew," Eric shook his head, "but, to me, he doesn't seem to be suave enough to entice so many women...now Jean Paul is another case."

"Ladies hat guy Jean Paul?"

Eric nodded, "now there is a real smoothie. You should see how women react to him."

"And he's who you have a gut feeling about?"

Eric waved his hand in dismissal, "I have absolutely no proof except that he left town right after you were shot. I thought there might be a connection between Jean Paul's disappearance and your wounded assailant but his alibi checked out."

Matt thought a moment, "what if I went down there to speak with him."

Eric shook his head, "nah, Matt, I don't want to waste any more manpower on someone just because I have a hunch." He smiled as he handed over the folders, "but what you can do is look these over and see if any of it makes sense to you."

Matt smiled, "gladly. I want to get this guy off the street more than anyone."

Eric smiled, "how is everything going between you and Kitty…if that's not too personal a question to ask."

Matt ran his fingers through his hair, "well, we're not there yet but we're working at it."

"Glad to hear that Matt, Kitty's a fine woman."

Matt nodded as he stood, "she is that Eric." He reached the office door and turned back toward Eric, "I'll see you later."

Kitty was helping Maggie prepare dinner when Katie walked through the kitchen to set the table, "Katie, first check to see if your father is coming."

Katie nodded and walked to the front door, "sure Mom." A month had passed since Matt had returned to work and every night he either missed dinner or arrived very late. Kitty worried that he was pushing himself too hard and, although they had numerous talks about it, he always dismissed her concern. A few moments later Katie came into the kitchen. "No sign of him Mom."

Kitty took a deep breath, "well, maybe he'll be home in a little while."

Katie put her hand on her mother's shoulder, "Mom, he's all right."

She eyed her daughter, "and how are you so certain?"

"Cause he can take care of himself, you know."

"Katie, your father was shot not too long ago or have you forgotten?"

Katie shook her head as she rolled her eyes, "I think Daddy knows better than to do something like that again."

Kitty raised her hand in dismissal, "yeah, well, you don't know your father like I do. Sometimes he can't help himself!" Kitty set the dishes on the table, "besides your father has only recently recovered from a very serious wound and he shouldn't be working these late hours." Katie giggled. "What's so funny?"

Katie set the silverware next to a dish, "that you're so worried about Daddy. I think it's cute."

Kitty rolled her eyes, "I'm very happy to know that my concern for your father lands in the cute category."

Katie smiled, "oh, Mom, you know what I mean. I like the fact that you and Daddy are here and we're a family again."

Kitty smiled as she held her daughter's face in her hands, "I'm glad we're a family again too." She kissed her daughter's cheek when they heard the front door open. Both women turned around as Matt entered the room. "Well, we were just talking about you."

"Oh, you were…were you?" He held Kitty in his arms and stared in her eyes before he kissed her. Kitty nodded, "your daughter thinks my concern for you is cute."

Matt smiled as he looked at Katie then Kitty, "well, I think it's kind of cute too." He pulled her into a lingering kiss much to his daughter's delight. "Can I help with anything?"

Kitty shook her head, "no, you just go sit and relax. You've been putting in a lot of hours recently Matt and I think you should rest whenever you can."

Matt smiled, "I'm absolutely fine Kitty."

"Yeah, well, maybe you think you're fine but you have never been the best judge as to when you are totally healed."

"Yes ma'am." As Kitty made her way back to the kitchen Matt turned to Katie and winked as he made his way into the next room.

On the way to the restaurant the next afternoon, Kitty walked down the front stairs into the foyer. She noticed Katie sitting in the living room reading a book. "Katie, I'm just running down to the restaurant for a little while but I will be home for dinner. If Aunt Maggie needs some help…"

Katie looked up annoyed, "I know Mom, we go through this practically every night."

"Well, it doesn't hurt to remind my children of their responsibilities every now and again." Katie dropped her eyes back to the book and Kitty shook her head. As she walked out onto the porch she looked down the path and Matt was standing there with a coach. She continued down the lane puzzled, "what is all this?"

He made a broad sweep of his arm toward the coach, "your chariot awaits my lady."

He took her around the waist, "you left work to take me to the restaurant?"

He smiled as he helped her into the carriage, "not today Kitty, in fact not for awhile."

"Matt, I think you better tell me what's going on."

He sat next to her and pulled her close, "you'll see in a few moments." He looked up at the driver, "I think we're ready now, you know where to go." As the coach sped off Katie ran out to the porch and watched until her parents disappeared from view. Pleased with her performance, it looked as if her mother was totally surprised by her father's gesture. She wasn't sure what her father had in mind but, as she walked into the house, she hoped her parents wouldn't return for at least a few days.

"Matt, I really have to stop at the restaurant first and let them know…"

He smiled, "I've already taken care of that Kitty."

"But the children need…"

"I've taken care of that too."

Kitty put her hand on her hip, "well, you're just full of surprises today Mr. Dillon."

He placed his fingers under her chin and kissed her, "just the beginning honey."

When they arrived at the dock, Matt helped Kitty down and they stood staring at a forty foot sailboat. Kitty furrowed her brow and pointed. "And what are we suppose to do with that?"

"We are going to sail it!"

Kitty put her hands on her waist, "I think you've lost your mind Matt."

Matt chuckled, "come on, let's get on board." He helped Kitty onto the boat and showed her around. They went below and Matt sat on the bed, "we'll be sleeping here, your clothes are in the corner over there, and my sources at _**Russell**__**'**__**s**_ tell me," he reached for the bottle, "that this is your very best champagne…and your personal favorite."

She slowly sat next to him, "how on earth…"

He put his arm around her waist, "Kitty, I wanted to do something very special. Eric had mentioned one day that a friend of his owned a boat and I got to thinking that might be a pretty romantic thing to do. So for the past month he's been taking me out and teaching me how to sail. He's going to be away for the next few weeks and I guess you can say I've been put in charge until he comes back."

She shot him her look, "and here I was worrying about you working so hard!" She looked in the corner, "and how did you get my clothes out without me noticing?"

"Those are new clothes Kitty. Katie and I went shopping, I hope you like them."

Kitty looked around the tight quarters and started to chuckle, "Matt, you're going to be crippled by the time we leave here."

He shook his head, "I intend to spend a good deal of time outside the cabin and when I do come inside I'm going to spend it here." He patted the bed.

Kitty looked and giggled, "Matt, your legs are going to hang off this bed by a foot."

He handed her two glasses and then popped the cork. He began to pour, "I expect to have them securely wrapped around you when we're down here." He clicked her glass, "here's to the start of our new life."

They finished their drinks and then stared into each other's eyes. Matt took her glass and set both on the counter. He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. She smiled as she ran her fingers down his face. He pulled her into a passionate kiss as they move slowly on to the bed. She rolled on top of him as he undid the buttons on her blouse then he laid her down on the mattress and threw the blouse across the cabin. He stared as his fingers lightly ran across the soft undergarment. He kissed her neck as he removed the straps from her shoulders and brought the soft fabric down to her waist. His lips caressed the taut rise on her breast as she ran her fingers through his hair as a soft moan escaped from her lips. He unfastened the button on her skirt and leisurely removed the undergarment as her anticipation continued to mount. He smiled as his hands glided up and down her legs as he watched her writhe in pleasure. She opened her eyes when he stopped stroking her body to remove his shirt and she rose to her knees to hold him in a passionate kiss as he undid his belt buckle. She slowly guided his pants downward and smiled as she removed his boots and pants. She allowed herself one moment to stare at his naked body before she lay down next to him and gently ran her fingers down his face. Without a sound they softly stroked each other, slowly reclaiming the intimacy that was lost so many years ago. Kitty whispered, "oh Matt, how I've missed your touch."

Matt smiled, "not as much as I've missed yours." He laid her back on the bed and ran his hand over her body as her eyes never left his face. Any fears she had about her middle aged body were erased when she saw the look in Matt's eyes. She felt young again as his lips danced over her skin and his mouth caressed her body into submission. Her moans spurred him on as she reached out to grasp the bed covers. He gently kissed her stomach and moved up her body to her lips. She could feel his need against her skin and eagerly looked forward to the bonding of their bodies once again. All the years they were apart melted away in one gentle motion as he slowly made love to her. Matt's stamina was beginning to wane as he called upon every ounce of self-control to push her closer to the edge. When that moment finally came, the cabin was filled with the sweet sounds of surrender. Matt collapsed in Kitty's arms as she ran her fingers through his sweat dripped hair. She smiled, "that was quite a workout there Matt."

Still trying to catch his breath, he slowly rolled back on the bed, "I am getting old Kitty."

She chuckled as she ran her hand across his chest, "you could have fooled me."

He pulled her close to him and smiled, "well, you were always easy to fool."

She slapped his skin, "oh, I was…was I?"

He kissed her, "don't worry Kitty; your secret is safe with me."

She continued stroking his chest as she feigned gratitude, "how can I ever repay you sir?"

He moved the hair away from her face, "just let me catch my breath and I'll let you in on a couple of ways."

Kitty chuckled, "you'll be the death of me cowboy if we keep this pace up."

He kissed her then she placed her head on his shoulder, "Matt this was such a lovely idea and the slight swaying of the boat is so relaxing." She kissed his chest, "so what is the plan?"

He looked over at her, "plan?"

She picked her head up, "well, you brought me clothes, champagne, and you have the boat for a few weeks." She pointed to their naked bodies. "Besides the obvious, what else are we going to do?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "this was as far as I got. Your bag is over there," he pointed in the corner of the cabin, "and it is filled with scantily clad nightgowns, undergarments, and…um…that's about it."

She quickly sat up, "please don't tell me that you went shopping with our daughter and bought scantily clad nightgowns!"

He reached up and played with her breast, "um…don't forget the undergarments."

She took his hand away and furrowed her brow, "Matt, I'm serious!"

He began to laugh. "You're not easily fooled…huh?"

She slapped his arm, "ooh, you."

"Come here and lay back down," he pulled her close, "I think when you see what our daughter picked out you'll agree they are some pretty handsome outfits."

"And where am I going to wear these outfits?"

"Kitty, we're going where the wind takes us for the next couple of weeks. We're not going to think about jobs, children, or anything else but us. Can we agree on that?"

She kissed him then snuggled under his chin, "I'm looking forward to seeing how much you learned the past month."

He ran his hand up and down her back, "not as much as what I've remember about you."

"Hmm…is that so?" She paused, "there may have been a couple of things that you didn't remember."

Matt chuckled, "oh, I didn't forget but what would there be to look forward to if we did everything the first time out?"

She kissed his neck, "I like the sound of that."

He moaned as she worked her way down his chest. As she continued further down his body Matt grabbed the bed covers, "I…knew…you…ooh…ah…"

The sun was setting when they walked up from the cabin. "Oh, Matt isn't the sunset beautiful?"

They sat on the boat as Matt wrapped his arms around her, "not as beautiful as you." He kissed her, "so…what do you want to do for dinner?"

"There's a small café a few blocks from here."

"Small café it is."

Matt began to stand and Kitty held him back. "But first, I want to see the sunset in your arms and then we'll go."

He kissed the top of her head, "this is the first of many Kitty." He raised her face with his fingers, "I do love you, you know."

She smiled, "I know and I love you too Matt." Holding each other tight, they watched the sun as it set slowly in the west.

Kitty was the first one to wake the next morning. She felt so secure snuggled in Matt's arms and was more then content to lie and watch him as he slept. As her fingers lightly brushed his hair, she thought back to the first time they were together. She had never met a man who was so gentle and so loving before and she wanted that moment to last forever. As she watched him sleeping that morning, so many years ago, the fear that their time together would only be physical and not long standing gripped her. She knew she wasn't the type of woman befitting the stature of a man like Matt and she feared that one day some woman would come along who he could give his love to. She had given a good deal of consideration to leaving Dodge that morning before he had the chance to break her heart. She will always remember the first words he spoke, _"__I __don__'__t __want __you __to __think __that __what __we __shared __last __night __didn__'__t __have __meaning. __There__'__s __just __something __about __you __Kitty __that __I__'__ve __never __felt __with __any __other __woman. __I __know __I h__ave __no __right __to __ask __you __to __stay __but __I __need __you __here __with __me.__" _

Matt opened his eyes to Kitty staring off into space and smiling. "What has you so happy this morning?"

She looked at him, "I was just doing a little remembering, that's all."

He kissed her neck, "about last night?"

She gave him a look, "you're pretty proud of yourself, aren't you?"

He grinned, "don't mind saying, I am."

She lightly patted his face, "well then, I hate to burst your bubble, but no. I was thinking about the first night we were together."

He ran his hand up the side of her body, "I wasn't nearly as good that night."

She hit his arm, "I was thinking about what you said the next morning."

Matt looked puzzled, "I said something?"

She nodded, "yes, you did. You said…"

"That I didn't want you to think I didn't have feelings for you and that you were so different from any other woman I had ever known and that I needed you to stay with me." Kitty stared into his eyes as he continued, "I don't know what I would have done if you had left Dodge…probably should have told you that more often though."

She kissed his chest, "you told me in other ways." They lay silent in each other's arms then Kitty looked up and smiled. "So…am I ever going to use those scantily clad nightgowns?"

He grinned, "I haven't seen the need for them so far…have you? I mean, I thought they'd just get in the way."

She kissed him, "getting a little lazy as you get older…huh?"

He shook his head, "no, just efficient." They both laughed then Matt ran his lips down her body, "let me show you how efficient I can be."

Later that morning, with the wind skimming the boat along with perfection, Matt navigated the Mississippi. With a wide brim straw hat, tied securely around her chin, and a long sleeve blouse and skirt, Kitty leaned back against the wall of the cabin and let the breeze cool her body as they sailed along. She watched her husband skillfully handle what seemed to her to be nothing more than a maze of canvas and ropes. He had taken to the art of sailing like most everything else he was entrusted with giving it his complete and undivided attention. She was slowly coming to understand why he felt so free riding the prairie or going off to the mountains and how the quiet and solitude of nature was liberating. With fingers breezing along the water and the love of her life at the helm, she had finally achieved what had eluded her most of her life, true happiness.

Matt's voice interrupted her thoughts, "getting hungry?"

She smiled, "a little."

"I see an inlet a little ways up. I think we'll stop there for lunch." She nodded.

Kitty's eyes scanned the vicinity as Matt brought the boat into a secluded cove amid tall reeds of cattails and floating duckweed careful not to disturb the gulls, herons, and egrets milling in the muddy sand. With the sounds of nature their only companion and the puffy white clouds giving them cover from the relentless sun, they munched on fried chicken, potato salad, and apple pie. After they finished their meal Kitty looked over at Matt, "you do amaze me."

He grinned, "how's that?"

"Well, you managed to rustle up a delicious picnic lunch and then you worked this boat as if you had been doing it forever."

He nodded, "Kyle was a good teacher."

"And I suppose Kyle showed you this little hideaway?"

He nodded, "I may have asked him for a few suggestions on some isolated areas where we could be alone."

She smiled, "I swear Matt Dillon you're going to be sick of me after a few days."

He shook his head, "uh, uh, I have twelve years to catch up on." He smiled, "I'm just so happy to be home."

She leaned into him and smiled, "I am too."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, "you're not too warm…are you?"

She shook her head, "I'm fine, there's a nice breeze."

He looked out at the water, "are you having a good time?"

She nodded, "the best."

He shook his head as he took a deep breath, "I was such a fool Kitty. We could have been doing things like this for years now. Instead I let my foolish pride get in the way. I'll never be able to make that up to you."

She ran her hand up and down his chest, "Matt, all that matters is that you came home."

He turned toward her and smiled as he looked into her eyes, "you have always forgiven my faults and loved me. I put you through so much over the years and took you for granted more times than I ever want to remember. You had my children and raised them up real fine to be children that any man would be proud of." He kissed her, "now, it's my turn Kitty to take care of you."

She smiled, "oh, I like the sound of that." She pulled him closer for a kiss as he worked his thumb around her breast. He quickly undid the buttons on her blouse as his mouth replaced his finger. She kissed the top of his head and ran her fingers through his hair. She whispered. "Maybe we should go down below."

He nodded as he whispered, "I was just thinking the same thing."

She looked confused when he laid her back on the bench and removed her undergarment. "Matt I meant…" He kissed the inside of her thighs as his lips slowly moved between her legs. She gripped the side of the boat, "forget…what…I…meant…ooh…" He grinned as she screamed his name.

Across town at police headquarters Cole Evans was escorted down the long corridor to the interrogation room. He slowly walked over to the chair and sat as he took a deep breath. He wasn't sure how much more he could possibly say about the last murder victim and he was getting somewhat tired of the game they were playing with him. They always made him wait an inordinate amount of time before questioning and, having been out late the night before, his patience was at a minimal. He laid his arms on the table and rested his head on them as his eyes began to close. He wasn't sure how long he was out when he heard a voice, "you don't seem to be too concerned that you are back in here Cole."

He raised his head, eyes adjusting to the man standing in front of him. "I told you before, I got nothin' to hide."

Eric pursed his lips, "so you told me but, you see, new information has passed my desk that might shed new light on this case."

"Oh? What kind of information?"

Eric sat at the end of the table, "it seems Cole that you weren't totally truthful with me when we spoke last."

Cole pointed at Eric, "whoever told you anything different was a liar."

Eric stood and began to walk around the room, "maybe so but I need to ask you a few questions about what I was told…you understand that…right Cole?"

Cole nodded, "go ahead, I ain't afraid of your new information."

"OK," Eric opened the folder, "now…I want to make sure that I have this right. You worked at the Morey house and that you never looked at, talked to, or accepted anything from Elizabeth Morey."

Cole looked annoyed, "I told you that before. Why do we have to go through this again and again?"

Eric looked up, "I just want to make sure that my records are accurate, that's all."

"OK so they're accurate," Cole began to stand, "now can I go, I really need to lay down."

Eric pointed to the chair. "When I'm finished…now sit." Cole hesitated a moment then sat, "you went to work there, finished your job, and went home."

Cole rolled his eyes, "yes."

Eric placed his hands on the table and leaned in toward Cole, "then why am I hearing that she regularly made lemonade for you at the end of the day and you spent time with her before her husband came home." Cole stared at Eric and his expression gave him away, "what happened there Cole…no adamant denials?"

Cole lowered his eyes and whispered, "no."

Eric leaned in further, "what did you say?"

Cole's head shot up as he raised his voice, "I said no."

"So…you spent some time with Elizabeth?"

He nodded as he kept his eyes downcast, "she was a kind lady not like her husband. One day she made lemonade and as I was leaving she came out and asked if I wanted a glass. It was hotter than Hades so I didn't think anything of accepting the drink. We got to talking and she was so sweet and easy to be with that spending some time with her at the end of the day made me feel good. I guess she enjoyed it too because she came out at quitting time to chat every day." Cole looked up, "I couldn't have hurt that fine woman. I just wished I coulda taken her away from the miserable man she was married to."

Eric straightened to his full height, "why didn't you tell me this before?"

Cole shrugged, "you woulda pinned that on me for sure if I told you I was in love with her."

"Did she know you were in love with her?"

Cole shook his head, "never told her and she didn't say anything to me."

Eric began to pace, "you say her husband was miserable?"

Cole nodded, "I heard him yelling at her sometimes as if she was an animal that he was ordering around. I'd see her wiping away the tears after that." Cole shook his head, "I coulda easily killed her husband but not her."

Eric took a deep breath as he ran his finger over his lips, "did she ever mention seeing another man?"

He shook his head, "her husband kept a pretty tight rein on her."

"What about the other women?"

Cole vehemently shook his head, "no sir Captain, you're not gonna find anything different than what I told you before. Them other women wouldn't give me the time of day."

"You realize how skeptical I am that you're telling me the truth now…can't you Cole?"

Cole tried to plead his case, "Captain, I'm telling you the truth, I swear!" Eric took a deep breath as he ran his fingers through his hair. He turned and headed for the door, "hey, you're not gonna keep me here, are you?"

Eric turned back toward him, "I haven't finished questioning you yet."

Cole stood, "well…when's that gonna be?"

Eric looked at him with a blank expression, "for as long as it takes." He closed the door and Cole resignedly took a seat.

Walking arm-in-arm, Matt and Kitty returned to the boat after dinner. Matt poured them a glass of brandy and they toasted to the last few idyllic days wrapped in each other's arms. "Matt, I never thought I could ever be this happy."

He smiled, "it makes me feel good to hear you say that."

She looked up at him, "I hate to say this but there's a small part of me that doesn't want any of this to end."

Matt smiled, "you mean to tell me Mrs. Dillon that you could forsake your children and run off with me?"

Kitty immediately felt guilty, "see I knew it sounded horrible."

Matt laughed, "I know of one child that is hoping she doesn't see us for weeks!"

Kitty chuckled, "she is a little matchmaker…isn't she?"

He hugged her, "ah, Kitty, as much as I love being alone with you I miss the children." He shook his head, "me…with children. By golly, there are times I can't believe it."

She looked up at Matt, "oh, you'll believe it all right once you walk through that front door."

He kissed her, "so you're saying I should enjoy these precious moments I have with you now?"

She kissed his neck, "that's exactly what I'm saying."

He smiled as her lips worked their way down his neck and her hand slid between his thighs. "Do you have any idea how I could enjoy those precious moments…a little more?"

Kitty stood and walked toward the door to the cabin. She turned and gave him a sultry look. "I might have a few proposals, if you care to hear them."

He stared then smiled, "I think I would rather you show me than for us to discuss it."

She began to undo the buttons on her blouse, "hmm…I think that could be arranged." She disappeared into the cabin with Matt following closely behind.

Kitty slowly rose and slipped into her robe as she made her way out of the cabin and on to the deck. She sat back and stared at the stars as she took a deep breath. For two weeks she had called this boat home and surprisingly she had enjoyed every moment of the solitude it afforded her and Matt. They sailed the river, ate in cozy little romantic eateries, danced the night away in small jazz clubs, and made love whenever the mood struck. If this wasn't perfection then she didn't know what was. She was smiling when Matt stuck his head out of the cabin, "what are you doing back here…couldn't you sleep?"

She looked up at the sky, "oh, I was just thinking about our vacation and admiring the stars."

Matt emerged from the cabin as he secured his robe, "and what conclusion did you reach?"

He sat next to her, "that this was as near to perfection as one can get."

He was a little surprised, "then you enjoyed being away from civilization?"

She hugged him, "very much…even without my promised nightgowns."

Matt chuckled, "I just might have to buy you one next time. Give me a little challenge."

She looked up at him and smiled, "I don't think you need any more challenges!" She paused, "Matt, do you think we could borrow this boat again?"

He smiled, "I can't see why not." He paused as he ran his hand up and down her back, "we're going to have to leave day after tomorrow."

Kitty sighed. "I know."

He kissed her, "I guess I'm going to have to make sure that our last couple of days will be one that you will never forget."

She grinned. "Oh, and what do you have in mind?"

He looked up at the sky, "Haven't given it much thought till now." He took her hand and led her to the bow of the boat. He lied next to her, "maybe we'll just lie here and admire the stars for awhile. Who knows, I just might become inspired."

She snuggled close, "hmm…you will really spoil me if you become any more inspired."

He kissed her, "for the rest of your life."

She smiled, kissed him, and snuggled close. Before long, they fell asleep in each other's arms.

Katie was standing at the window when her parents came up the walk. As soon as they entered the foyer, Katie was there to greet them. "How was it Mom? Where did you go? What did you see? Did you like the clothes Daddy and I picked out for you? Was…"

"Katie, can we at least get in the door?"

Matt hugged Katie, "honey, everything was perfect…especially the clothes."

She looked up at Matt and hugged him tight, "oh Daddy, I was hoping you were going to say that."

As Matthew walked down the corridor he yelled to his brothers, "Joseph, Russell, Ma and Dad are home." The boys ran from the kitchen and hugged their parents. "How did everything go Dad?"

Matt put his arm around Kitty, "well, Matthew, I think your Dad held his own out on the river, thanks to his first mate here."

Kitty shook her head, "oh, Matt, I just sat back and enjoyed it."

He smiled, "and that was my intent." He kissed her then turned to his boys, "sons, why don't you take our bags upstairs."

"Should we put all of them in Mom's room?"

Matt smiled, "now that's a very good question Russell." He turned to Kitty, "what do you say…Mom?"

Kitty stared at Matt for a moment then a huge grin spread across her face, "put them all in _our_ room."

Later that evening, Kitty emerged from the wash room as her husband sat in bed grinning from ear to ear. "I finally made it into madam's bedroom."

Kitty slipped under the sheet, "yeah, well, don't get too comfortable just yet. Madam can just as easily move you back down the hall."

He pulled her to him, "I'll see what I can do to keep madam happy at all times."

She kissed his chest, "now that we have that established."

He hugged her tight, "oh, Kitty, I'm the happiest man in the world."

She ran her hand up and down his chest, "I think I know what might make you even happier."

"Uh," he kissed her, "do you want me to guess or are you going to show me?"

She left his arms, stood, and walked over to her dresser. Puzzled, he watched her every move as she slowly removed her nightgown and then reached into her dresser drawer. With hand firmly clasped, she turned and stood for a moment letting his eyes skim over her body before she slowly returned to bed. She climbed in next to him, reached over, and took his left hand in hers, "Matt, with this ring I thee wed. Wear it as a symbol of our love and commitment." She slid it down his finger, "I love you Matt."

Matt stared at the ring on his finger, "I promise you Kitty that I will never cause you another day of heartache. I will love you as you deserve to be loved."

She ran her fingers down his face, "I know you will Matt."

His hands ran up and down her body as he stared into her eyes, "I...uh…don't have anything to give to you."

Kitty straddled Matt's body and kissed him, "Matt, you have given me everything a woman could want. You have made all my dreams come true."

He gently took her breast in his mouth as she breathed in quickly. He looked up, "let's see if I can enhance those dreams."

He reached over and dimmed the light as Kitty's whispered sigh cut through the silence, "oh, Matt."

Kitty's eyes flickered as she tried to adjust to the morning light. Matt sat next to her to pull on his boots. "Matt, what time is it?"

"A little before eight." He leaned over and kissed her forehead, "go back to sleep, I'll see you later."

She grabbed his arm, "where on earth are you going so early?"

"I want to get down to headquarters and see how the case is coming along." He ran his fingers through her hair, "I want to catch this guy Kitty before he kills someone else."

She smiled as she touched his face, "I understand Matt, will you be home for dinner?"

"I hope to be."

He leaned over to kiss her and she pulled him into a passionate kiss. "That should keep you today."

His hand glided up and down her body, "you make it very hard to leave…you know that don't you?"

Kitty chuckled, "then maybe you'll make sure you come home early tonight." He lightly swatted her rear and then left the room.

Eric had just arrived at headquarters when he heard a knock on his door. "Come in."

"The Sergeant at the front desk said you wanted to see me Eric."

Eric grinned as he motioned for Matt to approach. "Matt it's so good to see you. How was the trip?"

Matt smiled, "it was great and I have to thank Kyle for the use of his boat." He nodded, "I think being out on the river did wonders...for both of us. Oh…before I forget," he handed Eric the keys to the cabin, "can you see that Kyle gets these?"

Eric nodded, "sure will." He glanced at Matt's hand. "Um…you're wearing your wedding ring."

Matt grinned. "Like I said it couldn't have worked out better."

Eric slapped him on the back, "Matt, I'm so happy to hear that." He pointed to the chair, "have a seat and I'll fill you in."

Matt sat, "any progress?"

"Well, yes and no. Cole Evans admitted that he was in love with Elizabeth Morey and would spend some time with her at the end of the day. He said he didn't know of any other man in her life but he had lied to us before so I'm not sure if that is true."

Matt furrowed his brow, "you think he might have known about someone else and killed her so no one else could have her?"

Eric shrugged, "maybe."

"What about the other women?"

Eric shook his head, "he said that they considered him beneath them but a neighbor just came forward and said that he and Candice Hartley spent time together after he finished his shift."

"What did he say to that?"

"He said one day she called to him and asked if he could help her with something in the servant's quarters. After he was in the building she tried to seduce him but failed and after that she would constantly hang around him. He seemed to think that it was a turn on for her."

"What do you think?"

Eric shook his head, "I don't know, this is the second lie I caught him in."

"Do you have him in custody?"

Eric nodded, "yes, but I can't hold him forever…my strong conviction notwithstanding."

"Do you want me to speak with him?"

Eric shrugged, "I don't know what good it will do but there's no reason not to try."

Matt stood, grabbed the folder, and headed for the door. "I'll see you later Eric.

Matt walked down the long hallway to the interrogation room. Cole looked surprised when he entered. "No Captain Fournier today?"

"No Cole, my name is Matt Dillon and I'm helping out with this case."

Cole laughed nervously. "So…I guess they sent in the big guy to beat the truth out of me…huh?"

Matt shook his head, "no, I'm just here for a little chat."

"Look, Dillon, I told them everything they needed to know." He waved his hand, "sure I might have withheld some information because I knew if I told them they'd have pinned this on me for sure."

Matt put his hand up, "now, hold on. I'm not here to pin anything on anyone. I'm just going to ask you a few questions. OK?" Cole nodded, "all right." Matt paused, "I'm just curious, could you describe the two women that were murdered." Matt looked down at the folder, "Elizabeth and Candice."

"Well…Candice was just crazy. She hated her husband cause, from what she told me, he didn't put out all that much, if you know what I mean." Cole shook his head, "ooh wee, that woman had a strong sex drive." He looked up at Matt, "Elizabeth was different, she was kind, soft spoken, and someone who a man could be very happy with the rest of his life. Unfortunately, her husband took her for granted and treated her like dirt." He leaned closer to Matt, "here tell there wasn't a woman in town that he hadn't bedded down." He raised his eyebrows for emphasis.

"Why didn't you take Elizabeth away?"

"Are you crazy Dillon? Take a good look at me…what could I offer a woman? Besides Elizabeth had no means of support outside of her husband so she really needed a man who could support her…and that just wasn't me."

"Did she ever mention another man to you?"

Cole shook his head, "nah, if she was seeing someone I'm sure she wouldn't want that getting around. Her husband would have thrown her out of the house immediately."

"So…your relationship was strictly platonic."

Cole nodded, "for her it was. I would have made love to her all night long if she would have let me." He eyed Matt, "I see you're married Dillon." Matt nodded, "yeah, well, you're the lucky one. Having a woman in your life gives it meaning…you know what I mean?" Matt grinned. "Yeah, well, that was a mistake I made, not having a good woman to spend my life with."

"It's never too late."

Cole chuckled, "ah…by the time they get done with me…" he waved his hand, "oh, don't mind me Dillon, just feeling sorry for myself…is all." When he was Marshal, Matt had always put more stock in a person's eyes then what they had to say. As he stared into Cole's eyes he was convinced he couldn't have committed these crimes. He nodded at Cole, stood, and headed for the door. "Hey, Dillon, it was nice talking to you." Matt gave him one last look then closed the door.

Walking back down the hallway Matt took a deep disappointed breath. He walked into Eric's office and gave his opinion on Cole Evans, "so you think he's innocent."

Matt nodded, "just a feeling I have Eric. Besides I think what we have on him so far is pretty flimsy...don't you think?"

Eric began to pace, "I know it is Matt but all our other leads have resulted in dead ends."

"Maybe we should start talking to the husbands again. I'm beginning to think that one or both might have known that their wife was seeing another man."

Eric threw up his hands in exasperation, "I guess it can't hurt."

"I'll see you later Eric." Matt left the office and Eric slumped down in his chair. They had been lucky so far but he feared time might be running out.

Matt was reading some notes on the case as he climbed the stairs to the bedroom. He was going to interview two of the murdered women's husbands tomorrow and if he could get one of them to slip up it might give them a much needed break in the case. Feeling somewhat pressured and, deep in thought, he opened the door to the room to find Kitty packing her bag. Puzzled he walked toward her, "where are you going Kitty?"

"To the Chamber of Commerce meeting in Baton Rouge."

Matt furrowed his brow, "I thought that was next month."

She cupped his face with her hands and smiled, "after the last few weeks I couldn't possibly expect you to get the date right."

He shook his head, "Kitty, I don't know if this is such a great time for you to be traveling."

She turned to continue packing, "well, whether it is or not this is when the meeting is so I have to go."

"Can't you skip it this year?"

Kitty turned and sighed as she grabbed him around the waist. "Matt, I have gone every year and besides I'm the treasurer of the organization. Now, how would it look if I didn't show up?"

"Kitty I don't care how it looks, I just don't think it's a great time for you to be alone."

She kissed him, "if I had a choice I would stay here with you in a heartbeat, but I don't."

"Then…let me go with you."

"Oh, Matt, you'd be bored the moment you stepped foot into that hotel." She stared into his eyes, "besides, could you really take more time away from finding the killer?" Still not convinced he just stared, "don't worry Matt, the murders took place in New Orleans not Baton Rouge."

He took a deep breath, "but still…"

She began to open his shirt, "why don't you get comfortable while I finish packing and then we'll see how we can reconcile my absence for the next few days."

He threw his hands up, "I knew I wasn't going to win this." Kitty smiled as he made his way into the next room.

Kitty ran her hand across his chest, "you feeling any better?"

He lightly ran his hand across her back, "I'll feel better when you tell me you've decided not to go."

Her hand moved down his body, "does this mean you won't see me off tomorrow at the train station?"

"I just don't know how I can make you understand how serious a matter this is."

She ran her fingers down his face, "I know how serious it is and I'm not making light of your concern. It's just that I have to be at this meeting, a meeting, I might add, that many people will be attending."

"Honey, I need to be focused when I speak to the women's husbands tomorrow and I'm not going to be when my mind is worrying about you."

"What if you postponed the meeting tomorrow and waited until I got back?"

He shook his head, "I've already scheduled it."

She thought a moment, "hmm…Matt I'm sorry, but there's just no way I can cancel my trip."

He ran his fingers through her hair, "I know Kitty and I'm not mad at you, just the timing."

"Well, that's good news." She ran her hand down his body as he let out with a moan, "you know, it's going to be awful lonely the next couple of nights in that hotel room." She straddled his body then moved her hips as he held her waist. "Just relax cowboy and enjoy tonight."

The next morning, they stood on the platform as the train rolled into the station. "Well, I guess I'm off."

He pulled her close, "Kitty, I wish I was going with you."

She looked up at him, "I'll telegram you every day and before you know it I'll be home. Anyway, without me as a distraction you might be able to find your missing man." She turned to look at the train, "I better board Matt," she kissed him, "I love you."

He pulled her into a passionate kiss, "Kitty, I love you more than I will ever be able to say."

Her eyes began to water, "I know you do Matt."

He let her go, "honey, be careful."

She smiled, "I always am." She stood on the steps of the car and blew him a kiss then disappeared inside. At the blowing of the whistle the steam billowed around the platform and Matt waved as Kitty's car passed him by. He stood staring at the train until it disappeared from sight. He ran his hand through his hair, took a deep breath, and then turned to walk toward the coach.


	44. Fantasies Do Come True!

Matt headed for the liquor cabinet on his return home and poured a glass of bourbon. He walked slowly to the sofa while undoing the top two buttons on his shirt. He sat in the corner of the chair and took a deep breath as he slowly sipped his drink. As he thought about the two interviews he had that afternoon it struck him odd that neither husband seemed to be saddened by their wife's murder. It was obvious that rehashing the details of that fateful night was no longer important and the fact that the woman they once loved was gone was treated as if it was another loss in their business ledger. He took another sip of his drink as he wondered how love had deteriorated to that level of indifference. Kitty would always be in his heart and if something were to ever happen to her…well…he refused to give in to such thoughts. Instead, as he took another sip of his drink, he smiled as she entered his mind. Katie noticed the grin on her father's face as she interrupted his musing. "Hi Daddy, you're home early."

He looked up at his daughter and smiled, "more time to spend with you."

Katie sat down next to him, "you miss Mom…huh?"

"Yes, I do, but she'll be home in a few days so I think we'll be able to survive until then." A knock on the door interrupted their conversation, "well, let's see who this is."

A young man stood at the threshold, "telegram here for Matthew Dillon."

Matt handed him a tip as he took the slip of paper from the young man's hand, "thank you."

"Well, thank you sir." He smiled as he walked down the path clutching the money.

Matt slowly closed the door and glanced at the piece of paper. He began to open it then looked over at Katie. "It's from your mother…she has arrived and she misses us all."

Katie stood, "Daddy, Mom makes this trip every year…she'll be all right."

Matt furrowed his brow, "I know she will."

Katie shook her head as she chuckled, "you don't look like you know."

Matt dismissed her with a wave of his hand as he paced, "well, you, uh, just don't know everything young lady." Katie stared at her father as he again looked at the telegram. Matt looked up annoyed, "don't you have to help with dinner or something?"

Katie grinned. "Sure Daddy I'll go and help Aunt Maggie." She took a couple of steps and turned back to Matt, "when people are in love they're suppose to worry about each other Daddy, it's really OK." Before Matt could answer she had hurriedly turned and walked toward the kitchen.

He opened the telegram again as he sat down and picked up his drink. _Arrived Baton Rouge_ STOP _Miss you_ STOP _Keep the light burning_ STOP _Be home soon_ STOP _Love, Kitty_. He stared at the words on the paper for awhile then slipped it in his shirt pocket for later reading.

Kitty walked up to the front desk of the Harney House Hotel after sending Matt the telegram. "Miss Russell, it is a pleasure to see you again."

Kitty smiled, "always a pleasure to see you Joe."

He turned the book around for her to sign as he reached for the key, "I gave you the same room you had last year overlooking the park."

He handed her the key, "I do so love that room, thanks Joe."

Joe smiled, "you're very welcome Miss Russell and have a nice stay." Joe signaled for the bellhop to assist Kitty and they both made their way up to her room. She tipped the young man and then walked toward the window. She looked out over the town now wishing she hadn't refused Matt's offer to come with her. As she watched the setting sun in the distance she closed her eyes as she recalled the sunset on the boat. She sighed as she ran her hands up and down her arms then turned to her luggage and unpacked.

Later that evening, Kitty made her way down to the dining room for dinner. As she was escorted to her table a man stood and took her hand in his and gently kissed it. "Kitty, you are more beautiful with every passing year."

She smiled, "now, I wish that was true."

He chuckled, "well, it is, and I hope you'll say you'll have dinner with me."

Kitty smiled, "now that's just too tempting an invitation to pass up." The maitre d' handed her the menu and Garth Rayburn pulled the chair out for her to sit.

"I ordered a delectable bottle of red wine. May I pour you a glass?" Kitty nodded. He sat down across from her and raised his glass in a toast. "To my dear friend Kitty Russell may she always make Baton Rouge a yearly visit."

Kitty touched his glass and took a sip. "Oh, this is delightful."

"I'm so happy you approve."

Kitty smiled as she looked around the room, "did Emma have something to do this evening?"

Garth stared at Kitty for a moment and then he slowly responded, "I lost my Emma a few months back."

Kitty's hand rose to her lips, "oh no, Garth, what happened?"

He shook his head, "the police aren't sure."

"The police?"

Garth took a deep breath, "I've been finding it hard to speak about this Kitty."

She reached over and laid her hand on top of his, "if you don't want to discuss it Garth it's…"

He took her hand in his, "Kitty, you have been one of my and Emma's closest friends." He waited a moment to compose his thoughts, "we've been having marital problems for awhile now." He looked around the room, "managing this hotel, well, it became my priority and Emma…" He looked away, "found other interests, I'm afraid."

Kitty looked concerned, "is she…dead?"

Garth shrugged, "we haven't been able to find a trace of her. The consensus is she ran off with her lover and…"

Kitty shook her head, "no, I refuse to believe it, Emma loved you very much. I'm sorry but I can't see her with another man no matter how much you believe you drove her away by neglecting her."

Garth's eyes mirrored his pain, "what else can I believe?"

Kitty shrugged, "I don't know, maybe she just needed some time to go away and think."

"Then she could have told me that, I wouldn't have stopped her."

"Maybe she just didn't want to take that chance." Kitty paused, "you know, Matt left in the middle of the night," she raised her hand, "oh, I know, I knew of his intentions beforehand but it was obvious he left at that ungodly hour so he wouldn't have to face me to say goodbye."

Garth shook his head, "I still don't know how you managed to keep it together wondering every day if he was alive or dead."

Kitty shrugged, "having the children and my friends around me helped."

Garth smiled, "and you had John."

Kitty nodded, "he was very good to me and my children Garth. He helped me through a lot." She leaned across the table and took his hand in hers. "You can't give up hope, I never did."

Garth looked puzzled, "there is something I always wanted to ask you."

"What's that?"

"How were you able to forgive? Weren't you the least bit upset with him for being away for so long?"

Kitty chuckled, "oh, it took me a long while before I felt I could trust him again but deep down inside I still loved him so very much."

Garth took a sip of wine, "I can only hope that Emma and I have a happy ending too."

Kitty smiled, "I'm positive that you will."

Garth grabbed the menu, "I think we better order," He looked back at Kitty and raised his glass again, "and that the rest of our dinner is a happy one."

Kitty smiled as she touched his glass, "I'll drink to that."

"So…how are the children?" He waved for the waiter.

Matt reached to turn on the lamp next to the bed. He propped the pillows up against the headboard and opened the paper. His eyes were focused on the words but his mind too cluttered to process. He was staring off into space when he heard a knock on the door, "come in."

"Hey Dad, I was just going to bed and thought I'd stop in to say good night."

Matt smiled, "well, I'm glad you did." Matthew looked uneasy as his eyes darted around the room. "Is something on your mind son?"

Matthew shoved his hands in his pockets. "Um, well, everything is OK with you and Ma…right?"

Matt nodded and smiled, "couldn't be better…why?"

Matthew shrugged, "I don't know, I guess I just thought you would have gone to Baton Rouge with her this time." Matthew sat down on the bed, "I always worried about Ma when she went away every year."

Matt patted Matthew's leg, "son, there's one thing you have to learn about your mother. When she gets a notion in her head you have to let her run with it." Matt chuckled, "believe me; your mother has been in worse situations than civilized Baton Rouge."

"Well, if you say so Dad."

Matt smiled, "remind me to tell you a few of her adventures sometime."

Matthew smiled, "I'd like that Dad. Well, I best be getting to bed."

As he stood Matt grabbed his arm, "I'm worried about her too Matthew, I always have and I always will."

Matthew nodded, "I know you are Dad…good night."

"Good night Matthew."

Matt watched his son leave the room and then he reached over for his shirt. He pulled the telegram out of his pocket and read the message again. He turned the light off and then moved on his side as he pulled the spread over his shoulder. It was going to be a long two days.

Kitty threw her nightgown over her head and walked toward the bed. She had a lovely dinner with Garth but the business about Emma disappearing still did not sit well with her. Knowing Emma, Kitty was finding it hard to believe that she would leave without a trace. Through her yearly visits, and their correspondence over the years, Emma always seemed to be very positive about her life and her marriage in particular. Kitty shook her head as she climbed into bed and lowered the lamp. Something was not right and as hard as she tried she couldn't allay her fears. Wishing that Matt was there she lay in the darkness not able to sleep. When she finally decided to leave a day earlier her eyes slowly closed. As soon as the gala dinner was over she was going home.

Matt stared at the sliver of light stretching across the ceiling. He had tossed and turned for a couple of hours now and he wasn't any closer to sleep then he was when he turned down the light. After he made the decision to go to Baton Rouge he fell into a fitful sleep.

The next morning, Matt hurriedly came down the back staircase into the kitchen, "good morning Maggie."

"Morning Matt, the bacon is almost ready and the eggs…"

Matt grabbed a cup of coffee, "I don't have any time Maggie I'm running late. I have a couple of meetings down at headquarters and then I'm catching a train later to Baton Rouge. Would you mind staying here with the children until we get back?"

Maggie smiled, "no, not at all, besides I think Miss Kitty will be very pleased."

Matt smiled, "I hope she will and that she won't feel like I'm in the way."

Maggie waved her hand in dismissal, "she waited a long time for you to return so I know she'll be glad to see you."

Matt kissed her on the cheek, "I'll see you later Maggie."

Maggie reached up and touched the spot, "now what in the world got into him?" She shook her head and went back to the bacon.

Kitty walked down the main staircase and smiled when she noticed Garth in the lobby. She came up behind him, "did you have breakfast yet?"

He quickly whirled around and smiled, "I did but I wouldn't mind sitting and talking with you."

She grabbed his arm, "Good, but first I need to send a telegram."

Garth looked concerned, "everything all right?"

Kitty raised her hand in dismissal, "oh, sure, fine. I decided last night to cut my stay here. I'm really not needed after the gala dinner so I'm going home a day early."

Garth smiled, "as much as I'll be sorry to see you go I know you have a lot of reasons to get home."

She smiled and nodded, "I've missed them all." Her face dropped, "oh, Garth, I'm sorry. It isn't right for me to sound so happy when your life is so uncertain."

"Kitty, don't give it another thought. It's nice to know that a marriage can survive a long absence. I'm holding on to that for when Emma does come home."

Kitty smiled, "Garth I just know she will."

She hugged him then he looked at her and smiled, "now, let's get you over to the office so you can send that telegram."

As Matt walked into the foyer Katie came down the stairs. "Hi Daddy, Mom sent you a telegram." She pointed to the small table in the hall, "it's over there."

He quickly opened the envelope, _coming home tomorrow_ STOP _miss you_ STOP _will let you know when_ STOP _Love, Kitty_

He took a deep breath and smiled, "what does it say Daddy?"

"It says your mother has decided to cut her trip short so she'll be home sometime tomorrow."

Katie put her hand on her father's arm, "I guess this will save you a trip."

Matt looked puzzled, "a trip?"

Katie rolled her eyes, "Daddy, you were going to Baton Rouge…weren't you?"

"Yes, but… "

She waved her hand, "It's OK Daddy. I like that my parents still love each other. I think it's pretty neat." Matt started to speak but Katie stopped him, "I know, help Aunt Maggie." She turned and headed for the kitchen as Matt shook his head and smiled.

With the hugely successful gala dinner behind her, Kitty eagerly packed her bags and paced the room until the bellhop arrived. When they reached the lobby she quickly looked for Garth who had promised to take her to the station. After awhile she walked over to the desk, "morning Joe, have you seen Garth this morning?"

Joe shook his head, "no Miss Russell I haven't, but is it ture you're leaving us a day early?"

She smiled, "my work is done here Joe. I really don't need to stay around for today's session."

Joe looked puzzled, "seems you always did before."

Kitty smiled, "well, that was before my husband returned home. I guess I'm feeling a little guilty about leaving him behind this trip."

"Well, whatever the reason, we're going to miss you. There are not many women like you in this world."

Kitty smiled, "thanks for the compliment Joe but…"

Her head turned when she heard voices coming from the direction of the ballroom. Garth and Jean Paul were in deep conversation as they approached her. Garth looked annoyed as he listened to Jean Paul's complaints, "I think if you do that sir, you'll find that things will run a little more smoothly. You have enjoyed a long profitable run with our members utilizing your hotel for our yearly meeting and gala. I would hate to see us not return next year."

Garth nodded, "I will look into your suggestions Mr. Beaumont."

Jean Paul smiled, "very good then, I will take my leave." He took a couple of steps then quickly turned back to Garth. "Mr. Rayburn, I didn't see your lovely wife this trip. I hope you didn't do anything to make her leave you." He continued with a slight smirk. "In my opinion sir, she was your biggest asset."

Garth lunged at Jean Paul and grabbed his suit jacket. With teeth clenched tightly and eyes with rage he spoke, "you can threaten me all you want but if you mention my wife again I will kill you!"

Jean Paul chuckled, "I don't know if a dead body in the lobby of your hotel will be good for business Mr. Rayburn."

Kitty ran to Garth and grabbed his arm, "Garth, come on now, settle down."

Jean Paul stared at Garth, "I always make it a habit to listen to beautiful women Mr. Rayburn. They always make a lot of sense to me."

Garth still held him tightly, "Garth, come on." Kitty tugged on his arm until he slowly let go.

Jean Paul bowed slightly toward Kitty, "I thank you Miss Russell for coming to my aid." He took Kitty's hand and kissed it, "and you most assuredly kept Mr. Rayburn from making a very bad mistake. One, I'm afraid, he would have regretted."

Jean Paul turned and walked out of the building with Garth's steely glare focused squarely on him. "He's a swine, a useless…"

Kitty tried to divert his attention, "yes, and he's gone now."

"I don't need his business, let him go elsewhere."

She grabbed Garth to face her, "he's not the only voice on the committee and I say we'll be back here next year and all the years after."

Garth's face began to soften, "thank you Kitty." He pulled her into a hug, "I sure am going to miss you."

"Now, if I recall, someone had promised to take me to the station."

He snapped his fingers, "Oh, I'm sorry Kitty." He put his arm around her waist, "let's get the bellhop and I'll get us a coach."

They walked toward the bellhop station when one of the waiters came running from the dining room. "Mr. Rayburn, one of the chefs just burned himself real bad sir. They need to speak with you right away."

"All right Luke, I'll be right there." He turned to Kitty, "it seems all I'm doing today is apologizing to you." He held her by the arms, "I really did want to spend some time together before you left but…um…I'll get the hotel's coach to bring you to the station, if you'll just wait a moment."

Kitty waved her hand, "Garth, that is not necessary, I can manage."

"You sure Kitty? It won't take but a moment."

She shook her head, "you have a hotel to run and I think I'm more than capable of hailing a coach."

He smiled as he pulled her into a hug, "it was good seeing you again Kitty." He held her by the shoulders, "maybe next year you can bring Matt and I can finally meet the man who has held your heart for so many years."

"I'd like that Garth and listen," she pointed her finger, "don't give up hope."

"I won't." He kissed her on the cheek, "take care of yourself Kitty, I'll see you next year."

She smiled, "you can count on it." She watched Garth turn away then she called after him, "don't forget to write."

He turned back and smiled, "I won't." Then he disappeared from view.

On Garth's direction, a bellhop moved toward Kitty and helped her out to the street. She tipped the young man and made sure her baggage was secured as she waited for a coach. When she turned to face the street Jean Paul called to her as he stopped in front of the hotel, "my dear, I have enough room in my coach for the both of us."

Kitty waved him off, "I appreciate it Jean Paul but I'll find my own coach, thank you."

He stepped down, "now Kitty, we are going to the same place and this being a rental I would like to justify why I spent so much the past two days." She eyed him carefully pondering her decision. Jean Paul smiled, "would you deny the Chamber's Man of the Year from offering a beautiful woman a ride to the train station?"

She shook her head and took a deep breath, "I can see you're never going to give up so can you manage my bags or should I call someone?"

Jean Paul smiled, "I assure you Kitty I can handle your luggage." After he secured the bags, he helped her climb into the coach and then sat next to her as he slapped the reins.

They rode in silence with Jean Paul sneaking an occasional glance at Kitty. When he directed the horse to turn to the left Kitty stared at him puzzled, "this isn't the way to the train station."

"I know that but I just remembered I left something at the house that I need to retrieve." He placed his hand on hers, "don't worry, we have plenty of time to get to the train and I promise it won't take long."

Kitty noticed the houses were becoming more isolated as they continued their ride. They eventually stopped in front of a huge bright teal Victorian home with black shutters which was the most secluded one of all. She tried to push the uneasy feeling she had to the back of her mind and focus on the route they took to get there. He climbed down and walked around the coach. "I'll be just a moment." He stopped and quickly turned, "on second thought I'd loved for you to see the house."

Kitty shook her head, "I really don't think we have time for a tour."

He waved his hand, "nonsense Kitty, we have plenty of time." He reached for her hand, "come on, I promise we'll make that train." He waved his fingers toward him, "come on."

Kitty raised her hand, "I appreciate that you want to show me the house, and I'm sure it is lovely, but I need to send a telegram before we board and I just don't think we'll have enough time." She pointed toward the house. "You go on."

He raised his hand with fingers outstretched, "five minutes, I promise it won't take more than that."

She took a deep breath and threw her hands up in resignation. She moved closer for him to help her down, "all right, five minutes." She pointed at him, "and I'm holding you to that."

Once inside the house they quickly roamed the first floor cluttered with ornate furnishings, oversized paintings, and cherub sculptures. As they left the dining area a woman's portrait hung over the fireplace. Kitty pointed, "is that your mother?"

"No, Kitty, that woman is my dearest aunt Gertrude Dupree. I stay here when I come to Baton Rouge." Jean Paul stared at the painting with admiration, "she is quite the woman," he turned back to Kitty, "she is off gallivanting somewhere in the world right now." He took a deep breath, "ah, it's very nice to have money."

Kitty looked around, "I see she likes to collect things."

Jean Paul laughed, "I've tried to convince her to get rid of some of her possessions but she just can't seem to part with them." Kitty nodded in agreement as he turned to her, "I'll quickly show you the upstairs as I retrieve my money clip." They reached the second floor and he led Kitty into the master suite. "Ah, there it is." He pointed to the table next to the bed. He scooped the money clip into his hand and made his way back to Kitty. "So, what do you think?"

"Did your aunt have a large family?"

Jean Paul shook his head, "no, never married."

Kitty looked puzzled, "and she wanted a home of this size?"

He chuckled, "no, this was the family home and since everyone in the family has passed on I guess you can say she inherited it by default." He looked at her, "do you like the master suite?"

Kitty shook her head, "it's a little too big for my taste."

"Hmm…that's a shame. I was hoping that you would like it." Before she could utter another word she felt a handkerchief come across her mouth and everything went dark.

Matt held the curtains back with his fingers as he stared out the front window. He walked away, hands shoved in his pockets, as he began to pace. Maggie observed Matt from the hall for a few moments as he made his way between the sofa and the window. "I'm sure the telegram will arrive shortly Matt."

He turned and ran his fingers through his hair, "it shows…huh?"

Maggie smiled as she made her way toward him, "this has been a yearly trip for Miss Kitty and her trips have always been uneventful."

Matt let out with a deep breath, "so everyone has been telling me."

Maggie chuckled, "why don't you sit in your chair and I'll bring you a cup of coffee." She pointed toward the table, "the paper is over there, I'll be right back."

Matt snatched the paper off the table and sat down. He flipped through the pages quickly glancing at the headlines but what he saw on page four forced his eyes to focus. He threw the paper on the floor and ran upstairs.

Kitty's eyes flickered as she slowly gained consciousness. As her eyes focused she stared into Jean Paul's smiling face. "What happened?"

"You passed out. Luckily I was there to catch you."

She leaned forward to sit up to leave but Jean Paul held her by the shoulders, "easy Kitty, I really don't think you should stand."

Kitty waved her hand, "nonsense Jean Paul I'm feeling fine. Besides I need to get on that train."

Jean Paul chuckled, "sorry to inform you Kitty but you won't be getting on a train today."

Kitty furrowed her brow, "what are you talking about?"

In a sweeping motion, Jean Paul extended his arm and slowly moved it outward, "you will be staying here with me Kitty."

She made a quick move to escape but he threw her back down on the bed, "now, you can relax and enjoy your time here or I can keep you sedated and that won't be much fun for either of us."

She tried to hide her annoyance, "what is it you want…money?"

He threw his head back in laughter, "I have enough to make myself very comfortable my dear."

"Then, what is this all about?"

"You."

"What about me?"

"You are everything I have ever wanted in a woman…"

Kitty put her hand up, "now, I thank you for the compliment but I have a family to go home to. It's not as if I won't be missed." She sat up against the headboard, "my husband…"

Jean Paul put his hand up to stop her from talking, "your husband is a fish out of water in this environment. He might have been able to track people out on the frontier but he won't have a clue on how to find you here."

Kitty stared into his eyes, "don't bet on it Jean Paul. Matt won't stop until he finds me even if he has to go house to house to do it."

Jean Paul chuckled, "by that time we might not be here at all."

"This is crazy; you can't make someone love you."

Jean Paul ran his hand down her arm, "I think after we spend some time together, Kitty, you will need me like all the rest."

She folded her arms across her chest, "you're dreaming Jean Paul."

He stood then leaned over and held her chin in his hand, "I have been dreaming about you for a long time now and the day you surrender to me will be the happiest day in my life."

Kitty's face showed her contempt, "I would rather be dead."

Jean Paul snickered, "hmm…it doesn't matter to me how you surrender. For your sake I hope you decide on staying alive." He walked to the door then turned around, "I left a nightgown on the bed," he pointed in the direction of the garment. "When I come back I expect you to be in it." After he left the room Kitty looked over at the gown and as much as she wanted to refuse his request she felt it was better to go along with his wishes for the immediate future. She had to buy time until Matt arrived in Baton Rouge.

Evening was beginning to fall on New Orleans when Festus walked up the path to the Dillon home. As he entered the house he noticed a carpetbag in the middle of the foyer. His face squinted in puzzlement as Matt walked down the hallway. He looked up at him as he pointed to the bag. "Takin' a trip are ya Matthew?"

"Yes, Festus, and I'm in a bit of a hurry."

Festus dug his hands in Matt's chest, "now hold on a minute there Matthew. I can't let ya do no such thing not wit' Miss Kitty out of town 'n all."

Matt tried to move but Festus mirrored his every step. "Festus…"

"Matthew ya knowd what Miss Kitty went through whilst ya were gone and I ain't 'bout ta let ya go 'n have ta be tellin' her that ya done left 'n I done nothin' ta stop ya…dontcha see?"

Matt was beginning to get annoyed, "Festus I'm…"

"Matthew I knowd ya could flatten me ta the floor ifn' ya had a mind 'n ifn it be fer somethin' else I'd never say no word agin' ya but I just can't let ya leave whilst Miss Kitty ain't here." Festus stared into Matt's eyes, "I ain't lettin' ya get ta that there door Matthew. Ya gonna have ta kill me first."

Matt let out an exasperated breath, "Festus, I'm going to Baton Rouge to get Kitty, she may be in trouble."

Festus released Matt's chest and began to flail his arms, "shoot Matthew, now why didn't ya just come out 'n tell me?"

Matt shook his head, "I was trying to but…"

Festus put his hands on Matt's back and nudged him to the door, "ya don't have no time ta be explainin' nothin' Matthew ifn' Miss Kitty is in trouble."

Matt opened the door and turned back toward Festus. "To put your mind at ease Festus, I'm never going to leave my family ever again." He moved to leave then abruptly turned back, "and I'll be sure to let Kitty know what you were prepared to do to keep me here." Matt smiled as he closed the door behind him.

Festus stood in the foyer and shook his head as he thought, "_I'm hopin' ya just skittery 'bout Miss Kitty being away and that she ain't in no trouble. I'd hate ta see how ya be without her_."

Kitty had undressed and raised the nightgown over her head letting it fall slowly down her body. As she began to pace the room she assessed her situation. She was too far away for anyone to hear her screams and unless she could disable Jean Paul long enough for her to get away she was going to be an unwilling resident in this house. She had always found Jean Paul a little odd but now she was sure he wasn't dealing in reality. His statement about not caring how she surrendered sent a chill down her spine and made her realize killing came easy to him. As hard as it was going to be, she needed to resist the temptation to fight him every step of the way and go along with whatever deviant plan he had in mind. She knew Matt would be on the next train as soon as her telegram did not arrive and in spite of what Jean Paul thought Matt could track anywhere. She needed to stay alive to see him and her family again, nothing else mattered. Whatever Jean Paul had in mind for her was not important as long as one day she would be held in Matt's arms again. She smiled thinking about him as the door opened. Jean Paul stared at her with desire in his eyes, "lovely, simply lovely, I knew that gown would fit you to a tee." When he moved toward her she backed up slightly, "now Kitty, I'm not here to hurt you. Quite the contrary, I want nothing more than to love you for the rest of my life and make you my own."

"You know that's not possible Jean Paul."

He chuckled, "I know you think you're in love with that backwoods cowboy but I am going to show you how a sophisticated, worldly man treats a woman." His eyes took in her body from head to toe, "you deserve a man like me Kitty. How you managed to maintain your level of sophistication and grace living in an unforgiving place in the middle of nowhere is a testament to you, my dear." He took her hand, "come, we will retire for the evening." Kitty reluctantly took his hand and walked over to the bed. He pulled back the bedcovers and helped her onto the mattress. "Comfortable?"

"I'd be more comfortable in New Orleans."

Jean Paul smiled, "you think that now but after awhile you will never want to go back."

Kitty slid down under the covers exasperated, "good night Jean Paul!" He quickly grabbed her arm and slid on handcuffs, "hey!"

Kitty tried to pull her hand away, "calm down Kitty, I am only using these for my own safety." He secured it around her wrist and locked the other in the brass rung of the headboard. "I'm only protecting myself you understand. I don't want a knife in my heart while I'm sleeping."

She looked confused, "you're sleeping here?"

He smiled, "right next to you my dear. I feel we can get to know each other better and ease into our loving relationship."

Kitty tugged at the handcuffs, "some loving relationship!"

He smiled, "I'm confident that one day they will not be needed but until then I need to stay alive." He walked over to the armoire and disrobed carefully hanging his clothing. He slowly pulled on his silk pajamas and headed toward the bed. He pulled the bedcovers back and slipped under them. He moved closer to Kitty, "I thought it would be more prudent to come to bed fully dressed. I usually sleep in the nude but allowing you the complete experience might be a shock to your still resistant mind and body." He leaned over and ran his lips down her neck and out to her left shoulder. "Ah, yes, one day our nude bodies will be entwined as one." He turned on his side away from her, "good night Kitty."

She took a deep breath, "good night."

Matt slowly exited the train, stiff from the long ride in a confining seat. He continued out of the depot, eyes searching for a coach. He stood for a moment and looked out at the unfamiliar city before him. He knew Kitty was out there somewhere but where. With the Harney House Hotel his only clue he hailed a coach and headed in that direction.


	45. A Dangerous Game Of Survival

Matt paced inside the telegraph office on Main Street under the watchful eyes of the operator. "Ya never know how long an answer will be mister. Maybe there's a place I can send the telegram when it comes in?"

Matt quickly turned toward him, "I don't know where I'll be so I'll wait for as long as it takes."

The man shrugged, "suit yourself."

Matt stopped his pacing for a moment and stood at the window. The unfamiliar terrain made finding Kitty a daunting task but he was confident that his years as a lawman would serve him well; there was no room for doubt. In order to find her, he would have to lean heavily on his ability to track even though the odds this time seemed insurmountable. It had been hours since he first walked in the door and precious time was clicking away. His mind began to wander when the clicking of metal focused his attention to the incoming message. He slowly walked over to the counter. "Here ya go mister."

Matt took the paper from his hand and opened it. _Kitty __not __home_ STOP _no __word_ STOP _JP __not __home __STOP __Good __Luck, __Maggie. _He folded the paper neatly into his pocket, "could you tell me where Lafayette Street is?"

The operator pointed. "Take a left when you hit the street and walk, oh, seven blocks down."

Matt nodded, "thanks." He leaned down to pick up his carpetbag and headed for the door. The first piece of the puzzle would be the Harney House Hotel.

Garth was coming from the ballroom when he noticed a giant of a man sauntering across the lobby. Having a pretty good idea who Matt was he smiled as he continued in his direction. As Matt identified himself to the desk clerk Garth came up behind him, "you are every bit as how Kitty described you." Garth extended his hand, "I'm Garth Rayburn Matt, and I manage this hotel."

Matt shook his hand, "nice to meet you Garth."

Garth smiled, "well, by the look on your face, I guess Kitty didn't get a chance to say very much about me."

Matt shook his head, "no, she didn't."

Garth chuckled, "that's understandable since you only recently returned. I'm sure you had many other things you needed to discuss besides the manager of the Harney House Hotel."

Matt nodded as he furrowed his brow, "we did have a few personal issues to straighten out first."

"I'm sure." Garth smiled, "Kitty is one of the finest women I have had the privilege to know and she and I have enjoyed a very close friendship over the years."

Matt continued to eye Garth as he crossed his arms in front of him, "is that so?"

Garth smiled, "yes, my wife Emma and I always looked forward to her arrival every year."

Matt relaxed his stance slightly, "I'm sure she looked forward to seeing you both too."

Garth shook his head, "I'm afraid you made this trip for nothing Matt, Kitty left yesterday. I was about to take her to the station but an emergency came up and…"

Matt quickly interrupted, "Kitty never made it home."

"What?"

"She had promise to send a telegram and when that didn't arrive…"

Garth's face dropped, "first my Emma and now Kitty?"

"What about your wife?"

"She's been missing for a couple of months now. The police are convinced that she ran off with her lover and…"

Matt quickly interrupted again, "is Jean Paul Beaumont still here?"

Garth shrugged, "I'm not sure but if I had my way he would never be allowed back here at all."

Surprised, Matt responded. "Why's that?"

"Well, besides his obvious obnoxious personality, he wouldn't leave my wife alone. She tried to avoid him but he slithered around her like a snake whenever he had the chance. I tried nicely asking him to leave her alone but he would insist he meant no harm and that we both should be flattered that he found her so attractive." Pain was etched in his face, "quite frankly, I was so afraid that he would convince the other members of the Chamber that they should hold their meeting elsewhere that I didn't push it as far as I could have." He shook his head, "I wish to God I had now."

"Do you think that Jean Paul had something to do with your wife's disappearance?"

Garth shrugged, "I don't know, I mean, I'm not sure. I know she wouldn't have run off with him," he hung his head, "although I would rather like to believe that she went away with someone then to think that she is dead." He looked back up at Matt, "why are you interested in Jean Paul?"

"Mr. Beaumont and I have crossed paths before and I'd like to even the score."

Garth looked puzzled, "do you think he's the reason Kitty is missing?"

"I'd bet on it!"

"I think he may still be here," Garth grabbed the book, "let's take a look at the records and see if he checked out."

Kitty lay awake staring at the ceiling most of the night until sheer exhaustion caused her eyes to close. When she awoke she was surprised to find her wrist unshackled and Jean Paul gone. She slowly made her way out of bed and walked into the wash room. After freshening up she slipped on her white brocade blouse and royal blue skirt. She heard the door open while standing at the mirror in the wash room as she fastened the last button on the skirt. She stepped into view as he laid the tray of food on the table, "ah Kitty, good morning. I've made us some breakfast, come, let us sit and eat." Kitty slowly walked toward the table and sat, "did you sleep comfortable, my dear?"

She took the napkin off the table and laid it on her lap, "I usually find it difficult to get comfortable when I'm hog-tied to a bedpost."

Jean Paul sat across from her, "you speak in such colorful tones Kitty and I find that highly delightful."

She made a face, "I'll have to remember that in the future."

He pointed his fork in Kitty's direction, "and your sarcasm is second to none." He moved his fork upward to encourage her to eat, "Kitty, your food is going to get cold. Please eat something."

She pushed the plate slightly, "I'm not hungry."

"Oh, you must be. Come on, you have to keep your strength up."

Kitty rolled her eyes, "oh, I almost forgot. You need me to be a willing participant in your game of love."

Jean Paul stared and smiled, "it will be our game of love Kitty. I really don't want you any other way." He moved his fork upward again, "now, please, eat."

She furrowed her brow, "how do I know that you haven't put something in my food."

He took an exasperated breath, "I assure you I didn't bring you here to hurt you. Besides, if I really wanted to drug you I wouldn't waste time putting it in your food." With pleading eyes he again spoke, "please Kitty, eat something." She stared at him for a moment then slowly picked up the fork and took a bite of eggs. He smiled, "that's better."

"Let me ask you something Jean Paul. What if your aunt decides to return from her trip? How are you going to explain us living here?"

He chuckled, "Oh, don't worry about Aunt Gert. She would be so happy that I found the love of my life she would find another room to live in."

"You're assuming that I wouldn't say anything to her to the contrary?"

He shook his head, "I wouldn't worry about meeting Aunt Gert. She has been known to stay away for many months."

"Seems like a waste of a good house."

He looked around the room, "well, I come back here every now and again to get away from it all. So I guess you can say it serves its purpose."

Kitty nodded, "I suppose Aunt Gert is the least of your problems."

He looked up, "what do you mean?"

"When Matt gets here…"

Jean Paul laughed. "When Matt gets here? Oh, Kitty, you are priceless."

She glared at Jean Paul, "you can keep on believing that he won't show but I'm telling you it will go a whole lot easier on you if you…"

He leaned back in his chair, "you mean to tell me that a man who stayed away from you for twelve years is going to be actively looking for you now?" He wiped his mouth, "oh, I'm sure he'll contact the police after awhile and they'll do a cursory search but they won't find anything." He pointed at Kitty. "I bet good old Matt might even be making his way back to the mountains right about now."

She shook her head, "Matt wouldn't do that."

"Wouldn't he? The story I hear is he chose to live in those mountains for years with a bunch of Indians." He raised his eyebrows, "now, my understanding is that those squaws are very subservient to men." He laughed, "I'm sure Matt had a great time up there bedding down so many women. I kind of envy him myself."

Kitty threw down her napkin, "I'm through playing your sick little game Jean Paul. I know Matt is looking for me so I'd get that smug look off your face and think about letting me go."

Jean Paul looked contemplative, "I wonder how you'll feel when the squaw brings down the children old faithful Matt fathered."

"I'm not listening to this nonsense any further." Kitty quickly bolted for the door.

Jean Paul grabbed her and threw her against the door, "a man doesn't stay away that long from the woman he loves unless he's found a comparable substitute. Take it from me Kitty a man needs to be loved and your Matt is no exception. Besides, you wouldn't be this upset unless you had doubts about his faithfulness also." She slowly stopped struggling as he released her arms. He gently placed his arm around her waist. "Now, let's go finish breakfast."

At the hotel, Matt and Garth stood at the front desk staring at the book. Garth pointed to the page, "it says here that he checked out very early this morning."

"And you're sure that he stayed here last night."

Garth shook his head, "I can't say for sure since I didn't see him but I will ask other members of the staff and see if someone did. In the meantime, I have to go with what is in the book and what Joe told us."

Matt took a deep breath, "that Mr. Beaumont was at his desk when he checked out this morning." Matt thought a moment, "you did say that you couldn't take Kitty to the station but do you know who did?"

He shook his head, "she was insistent that she could hail a coach on her own." Garth snapped his fingers, "but I did dispatch a bellhop to help her with her bags. He might have seen the man who took her to the station."

"Is he on duty now?"

Garth looked up at the clock, "he should be, let's take a walk over there."

When they reached the bellhop station Garth noticed Billy coming from the back room. "Billy, I would like you to meet Matt Dillon. He is Kitty Russell's husband."

Billy extended his hand, "nice to meet you sir."

Garth continued, "Billy, did you see which coach took Miss Russell to the station yesterday?"

He shook his head, "no sir, she gave me a tip and told me I didn't have to wait with her. The last I saw she was checking her luggage."

Matt continued. "Were there any coaches in front of the hotel?"

Billy scratched his head, "come to think of it, no sir. Might unusual too."

Matt extended his hand, "thanks Billy, I appreciate your help."

"I wished I could have helped more. Miss Russell is the finest woman I have ever met."

Matt smiled, "she is at that Billy, thanks."

Garth and Matt watched Billy walk away. "What's next Matt?"

"Well, I guess I'll need a place to stay while I'm here."

Garth smiled, "I can certainly help with that. You'll stay here and it's on me."

Matt shook his head, "I can't let you do that Garth."

"Nonsense, Kitty would expect me to be accommodating to her husband." He placed his hand on Matt's back, "Come on, let's get you checked in."

Garth had instructed that Matt be given the room Kitty had during her stay in the city. After unpacking, Matt poured a drink and walked over to the window. He pulled back the curtain and looked out at the vast city as he took a deep breath. He took a sip of his drink then he whispered. "_Hold on honey, I'll find you_." A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

Garth was standing in the doorway with room service, "I figured you didn't have much to eat. I took the liberty of ordering steak, baked potato, and some green beans."

Matt smiled, "sounds like a feast!" He looked at the food, "care to join me Garth?"

He raised his hand, "oh, no, thank you Matt. I really should be getting back."

Matt walked over to the server and handed him a tip. "Why don't you let the people downstairs know that Mr. Rayburn is here in case anyone needs him?"

The server smiled, "sure will sir."

Matt turned to Garth and pointed to the chair, "let's have something to eat." After dinner, they moved to the sofa and Matt poured them a drink. "So, how long has my wife been coming here?"

Garth thought a moment, "oh, six or seven years." He smiled, "my Emma and her hit it off immediately."

Matt smiled, "Kitty has that way about her all right."

Garth produced two cigars, "care to join me?"

Matt nodded, "all right."

Garth lit Matt's, then his cigar. "You mentioned that the police think your wife ran off with another man?"

Garth nodded, "I would even welcome the thought that she ran off with Jean Paul if it meant she was still alive."

Matt furrowed his brow, "you don't really believe she ran off with someone do you?"

Garth shrugged, "I hadn't been a very attentive husband the past few years running this place and all." He took a puff on his cigar, "I never thought that I was doing any damage to her by focusing on my job." He nervously chuckled, "well, I believe it now!" He eyed Matt, "maybe I could understand it all a little better if…well…Matt, can I ask you a personal question?"

Matt hesitated a moment, "sure."

"What drove you to leave Kitty?" Garth smiled, "for the life of me I could never imagine a man wanting to leave as fine a woman as her." He put his hand up, "no offense meant."

Matt drew on his cigar, "Garth, I can't even remember now. I suppose becoming a father and Kitty so busy with the restaurant night and day well…I guess I felt the walls closing in on me and that if I got into the wide open spaces I'd be able to sort it out better."

Garth thought a moment, "but your plan was to return…right?"

Matt smiled, "my life was in New Orleans Garth." He slowly shook his head, "I knew when I boarded the train that morning that I was making a mistake but I keep going thinking that a couple of weeks away would make me appreciate everything I had more." He took a sip of his drink, "then one set of circumstances after another happened and eventually I was stabbed and taken to Dodge." He chuckled, "never thought I'd ever be thankful to an outlaw."

Garth looked puzzled, "you mean it took a stabbing and a trip to Dodge before you thought about going back?"

Matt slowly swished the liquid around in his glass, "thought about it plenty of times, in fact, I did go back once but misunderstood what I saw."

"Oh, you mean John?"

Matt nodded, "I thought Kitty was happy with her life and that I didn't belong in it anymore." Matt hesitated, "Kitty's happiness has always been very important to me…even if it meant someone else was making her happy."

Garth looked down, "hmm…I guess I never looked at love that way." He paused a moment, "so you thought it was over between you and Kitty and you went back to the mountains." He looked at Matt puzzled, "and you were content living alone? I would think that after being with Kitty for so many years it would be hard…I mean…I would think you'd need…well…you know."

Matt chuckled and nodded, "I know what you're trying to say." He paused, "there was a young Indian woman who had designs on me." Matt shook his head, "but I still loved Kitty so much that if I gave in to a physical need I would have betrayed the woman I loved."

"But if you thought Kitty was with John and you no longer had a place in her life why didn't you?"

Matt shook his head, "there is no explaining it Garth except to say that I didn't want to be with another woman. Kitty was everything to me and no one else could ever take her place." Matt took a sip of his drink, "just before I was stabbed, I gave the idea of living with the young Indian woman a thought but, truthfully, I don't think I would have been able to go through with it."

Garth sat back in his chair, "I sure hope that Emma comes to those conclusions." He looked over at Matt, "I don't care if she is with another man; I just want her back. I'd give anything just to hold her again." He waved his hand, "all would be forgiven."

Matt smiled, "I bet she's realizing what a terrible mistake she made right about now. You're a good man Garth and I think she'll come to appreciate that more as time goes on."

"Thanks for saying that Matt, I appreciate it." He took a sip of his drink, "where do you go from here?"

Matt stared at Garth, "finding Jean Paul Beaumont."

Kitty was staring out the window when Jean Paul came into the room. "Hoping to see your knight in shining armor come riding over the knoll?"

Kitty crossed her arms over the chest, "he'll be coming Jean Paul, I assure you."

He walked up behind Kitty and wrapped his arms around her waist, "if he does come, which I highly doubt, you won't want anything to do with him by that time."

He kissed her neck and she broke away, "you are delusional!"

Jean Paul laughed. "We'll see." He eyed Kitty as she walked away, "that is a very beautiful outfit, very fitting for dinner."

He quickly grabbed her wrist, snapped on a handcuff, and then fastened it to footboard, "this is getting very old Jean Paul."

He ran his finger down her face as she moved it away, "I certainly don't want any mishaps with the tray of food. Surely you can understand that Kitty." He went out into the hall to retrieve their dinner and then laid the tray on the table. After arranging the plates he released Kitty and held the chair out for her. After hesitating a moment she looked over at him and finally sat. They ate in silence for most of the meal until Jean Paul spoke, "I see you are enjoying your meal."

Kitty nodded, "my compliments to the chef."

Jean Paul smiled, "ah…my first compliment from Miss Russell. I will treasure it always."

Kitty looked up, "well, you better; I can't see any others coming your way."

Jean Paul laughed, "Delightful, utterly delightful." He pointed his fork in her direction, "this is why I love you Kitty, that wonderful wit and feisty nature."

She rolled her eyes, "aren't I the lucky one!"

He smiled, "yes, you are, and one day you will come to realize it!"

"Surely Jean Paul there are plenty of other single women out there…"

He held his hand up and interrupted her thought, "Kitty, I look for certain qualities in a woman. Whether they are married is of no consequence to me."

"Well, shouldn't it be?" She took a sip of the wine, "you're lucky you haven't been shot by now!"

He chuckled, "oh, some men have tried."

Kitty took another forkful of food, "my luck they missed!"

He laughed again, "There you go again Kitty. You keep this up and I won't be able to contain myself later this evening when we're lying side by side." She made a face as Jean Paul sat back in his chair and waited for Kitty to finish eating. He then stood and walked toward the window, "it's a beautiful full moon out there tonight." He turned back toward Kitty, "one that you and I could stroll under but I feel the gesture would be lost on you now…pity." He walked over to her and grabbed her wrist. Kitty pushed him back and ran for the door. He quickly regained his balance and grabbed her around the waist. She struggled to get away but he managed to bring her back toward the bed and throw her on it. He lay on top of her and held her arms above her head, "the only thing that stirs me more than your words Kitty is when you put up such fierce resistance." He kissed her neck as she squirmed underneath him. He managed to reach the open handcuffs that he had thrown on the bed and fastened one to her wrist then the headboard. "I have another one in my pocket Kitty that I could easily attach to your other arm and then I would be free to ravage your body." A slight smirk ran across his face, "would you prefer that?" She stopped her struggle, "I didn't think so." He hopped off the bed, "I'll give you a moment to compose yourself as I bring the dishes downstairs." He placed all the dishes on the tray and turned back to her, "I'll come up later so you can dress for bed." Kitty watched him as he closed the door then she slammed her fist into the bed.

Later that evening he returned and released Kitty from her shackles. "You can use the wash room, I've already bathed." In a frustrated motion she grabbed her nightgown and headed for the room. Jean Paul changed into his silk pajamas and sat comfortably in the armchair waiting for her return. He stood and walked toward her when she appeared in the doorway. He stroked her face, "you are such a beautiful woman." With no response coming he led her to the bed and clicked the cuff around her wrist. He covered her then slid in on the other side. He stared at her but Kitty's eyes were focused straight ahead. He leaned over and attempted to kiss her goodnight but she moved her face away. He took her other hand and kissed it then he ran his hand down the silky fabric. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. Jean Paul leaned in and whispered, "thinking of your cowboy Kitty?" She kept her eyes closed and gritted her teeth as he continued to run his hands over her body. "Are you imaging his touch?" She remained silent, "then I won't give you the satisfaction." He abruptly stopped his stroking and turned on his side. Kitty took a deep breath and continued her dream of Matt.

The next morning Matt walked into police headquarters and was escorted to the office of Captain Edward McCarthy. Ed McCarthy was a tall, burly, middle aged man who loved police work almost as much as he loved his whiskey. The officer knocked on the Captain's door and then entered, "sir, Matt Dillon is here to see you."

Captain McCarthy stood, "thank you Scott." The officer left the room as Edward came from behind his desk and removed a stack of papers that were lying in the visitor's chair. He extended his hand to Matt, "you'll have to excuse me Matt this paperwork seems to pile up out of nowhere sometimes." He pointed to the seat. "Please sit down."

Matt smiled, "thank you Captain."

Captain McCarthy waved his hand, "please, call me Ed." He went behind his desk and sat down, "Eric sent me a wire and asked if I would give you assistance in finding your wife."

Matt nodded, "I appreciate any time you can give me Ed."

Ed leaned back in his chair, "so, how can I help?"

"For starters I'd like to know where Jean Paul Beaumont lives."

Ed leaned forward and placed his arms on his desk, "and you think he has something to do with your wife's disappearance?"

Matt stared at Ed, "I've never been more positive of anything in my life."

Ed placed his fingers across his lips as he eyed Matt, "hmm…I see." He stood and began to pace around the room, "I'm afraid I'm not going to be much help to you Matt. The Beaumonts owned a home on Maple many years back but when his parents died Jean Paul sold the house and moved to New Orleans."

Matt tried not to let his disappointment show, "what about Gertrude DePaul?"

Ed looked puzzled, "what about Gertrude?"

"I think Jean Paul may be staying with her."

Ed shook his head in confusion, "I'm not sure I see the connection."

"Isn't Gertrude Jean Paul's aunt?"

"Yes, but what does she have to do with any of this?"

"Not long ago he used her as his alibi."

Ed sat on the edge of his desk, "you have totally lost me here Matt. Why would Jean Paul need an alibi?"

"Women have been murdered in New Orleans and we suspect he may be involved."

Ed waved his hand, "I can't believe that, Jean Paul is such a refined gentleman."

Matt crossed his leg as he sat back in the chair, "does this mean you won't help me Ed?"

Ed stood and made his way behind the desk, "of course I'll help you Matt but I think you're heading down a dead end." He jotted down the addresses and handed them to Matt. "The first address is the old Beaumont house. The last I heard the new residents had run into some money trouble and the bank might be in ownership of it now. As far as Gertrude is concerned she's a tough old bird who lives by herself and doesn't take too kindly to strangers…especially if they are nosing around about her nephew. She thinks very highly of him so I'd tread lightly if I were you." Ed sat back in his chair, "although she does travel a great deal so you might not find her home."

Matt stood and extended his hand, "thanks Ed, this information will give me good start."

Matt turned to leave when Ed called out after him, "say Matt, how do you know that your wife just didn't run off with Jean Paul? I hear tell he is an extremely charismatic man who women just can't seem to resist."

Matt chuckled, "If she was in love with another man she would have told me, believe me." Matt shook his head, "no, Ed, if she is with Jean Paul she is being held against her will." Matt waved, "thanks again."

Kitty pulled at the handcuff in frustration as another day in captivity was beginning. She felt lucky that Jean Paul had kept his distance the past two nights but how much longer that would continue she didn't dare guess. Eventually he would want to prove that he was a far better lover than Matt and would be expecting her to acquiesce. She needed time and the only way she knew was to match wits with him and ease into this game he was playing. There was no doubt in Kitty's mind that Matt had arrived in the Baton Rouge and it would only be a matter of time before he found her. In the meantime she would slowly play along with Jean Paul to give Matt that time. She took a deep breath when the door to the room opened. Jean Paul entered with a tray of food, "good morning Kitty, how did you sleep?"

"I'd sleep better if I was home in my own bed."

Jean Paul positioned the plates on the table and walked over and stroked her face, "and what would you do? Lie next to a man who doesn't love you?" She swung her free hand toward his face but he managed to block her blow. "I understand how hurtful that thought is to you Kitty and I'm sorry that I have to mention the truth but you will come to accept this bed as your own one day when you realize how much this man loves you." He smiled as he stood, "come, let's eat our breakfast before it gets cold." He unfastened the handcuff and helped her out of bed. She grabbed for her robe and fastened it around her waist. Jean Paul held the chair out and then sat across the table. "I made note that you liked your eggs over easy."

She nodded, "they are exactly as I like them, thank you."

He held the basket of rolls in his hand, "freshly made, please have one before they get cold."

Kitty reached for one and began to butter it, "thank you."

Jean Paul smiled, "Kitty, I wish we could have a little more conversation. You are always so quiet."

She shrugged, "I guess there is not much for me to say. I find I lack conversational skills when I'm being held captive."

He reached for her hand, "Kitty, I'm sorry you feel like a captive. I have tried any number of ways to make you comfortable in your new home."

She nodded, "so I noticed…the handcuffs are a nice touch!"

Jean Paul's face softened, "they are only necessary until I feel that you will return my love…because I do love you very much."

She smiled, "but you don't know me Jean Paul. How can you love me?"

"I have known you long enough to know that you are the woman I have been waiting for my whole life. If you will just give me a chance to prove to you how much, I know you will come to love me too."

She took a deep breath as she stared into his eyes, "if only you could have found another way of relaying your feelings."

He began to run his thumb over her hand, "if I had told you over dinner one night in New Orleans would you have accepted me?"

"You should have given me that chance."

He took a deep breath, "Kitty let's not fool ourselves. You would have rejected me on the spot and I would have been devastated."

"So…tying me to a bedpost was your best alternative?"

"That was the only way I knew for us to get to know each other." He stared at her hand, "I have no doubt that when we do you will come to love me. Believe me Kitty; I want your love more than anything in the world."

"What if I never come to love you Jean Paul?"

"I will keep trying until my dying breath."

Kitty paused a moment as she thought through her next move, "I can honestly say I have never had a man who loved me as passionately as you." She stared into his eyes, "but, I hope you understand, it's going to take some time for me to come to terms with how deeply you feel."

Jean Paul quickly stood and grabbed Kitty into his arms. He hugged her tight, "I will give you all the time you need my dear." He stared into her eyes, "I know having a man truly love you for who you are, and not just the pleasure you can bring him, will take some time to get use to." He ran his fingers through her hair, "but I will prove to you that it can happen." He held the chair out for Kitty again, "your breakfast is getting cold." She smiled as she finished eating.

Matt stood in front of 242 Maple and took a deep breath. The overgrown vegetation was the first indication that the house had been left abandoned for some time. Disheartened, he slowly walked up the path carefully surveying what was left of the slate walkway. The front wooden steps creaked as he cautiously made his way to the front door. He walked around the front porch and stared into the windows shielding his eyes from the daylight to get a better look inside. As far as he could see the rooms looked empty but he wanted to examine the interior of the house to be completely satisfied. Walking around to the rear he found the basement door open and slowly made his descent. Garth's suggestion of a lamp proved helpful as he navigated around in the darkness. He looked for doors as an indication of a hiding place but that expectation was dashed. He continued up the stairs and thoroughly examined the first floor. He turned off the lamp, placing it in the middle of the dining room floor, and then slowly made his way to the upstairs bedrooms. After inspecting the master bedroom he continued down the hall abruptly stopping when he thought he heard a sound. He stood still for a moment when he heard a moan coming from the next room. He took his gun from the holster and, with his other hand, slowly moved the doorknob before quickly slamming the door open. With gun pointed he found a woman lying on a worn mattress semi-conscious. He moved toward her as he holstered his gun. He gently moved her on her back. "Miss, can you hear me?" She slowly opened her eyes, "what happened here? Can you tell me?" Her eyes opened wide in fear as Matt tried to calm her.

Before she could warn him he was tackled to the ground, "I'll teach you to mess with my woman," the man struck Matt with a blow to the head. Matt blocked the next strike by quickly moving to his right as the man's hand slammed into the hard wooden floor. As he screamed out in pain Matt stood and landed a hard right to his jaw that propelled him against the wall. The force of the hit stunned the man and as he tried to clear his head Matt hit him again. With adrenaline coursing through his body Matt kept punching the stranger until he was limp. He found rope in the corner of the room and securely tied him then went back to the woman who stared wide-eyed at the beating Matt had given the man.

Matt moved slowly toward her as she kept inching away from him. In a frightened voice she pointed to the lifeless figure on the floor, "you stay away from me mister; he'll kill you if you do anything to me."

Matt crouched down near her, "I'm not here to hurt you Miss. I'm with the police and I've come to help you."

She laughed nervously, "how do I know that?"

Matt smiled, "you'll have to believe me." He reached for her but she shied away, "I want to get you help."

She eyed Matt, "and what do you want in return?"

Matt looked puzzled, "nothing…I'm not sure what you mean."

She shook her head, "look, if you want a piece of me too you better hurry up." She undid a few buttons on her blouse. "He'll be up in a few moments and if he sees us together he's sure to tell your boss."

Matt quickly closed her blouse and helped her to her feet, "now button that up and we'll head to the police station."

The woman looked confused, "you don't want me to…uh…oh…wait a minute…you mean to tell me you don't find me attractive?"

Matt stammered. "Well…no…I didn't say that…I mean…of course you're attractive…but…um…"

She looked disappointed, "just not your type huh?"

Matt nodded, "something like that."

She eyed Matt, "you're real particular," she nodded, "I like that about a man." She began to stroke his chest, "hmm…you are some man all right. I'd be willing to do anything you wanted done that's for sure."

Matt grabbed her hands, "yeah…well…never mind…let's get you down to headquarters."

They started to leave the room when she turned back to the unconscious man tied up in the corner of the room, "what about him?"

Matt turned and gave him a glance, "I'll deal with him later."

Kitty was sitting in the armchair next to the bed reading the morning paper. Her spirits had been lifted as it seemed the first phase of her plan had been successfully put in place. The next step was to convince him that she was enjoying their time together while keeping him at arm's length. It would be quite a challenge but she was equal to the task at hand. She took a deep breath when Jean Paul entered the room with lunch. "Well, Kitty, I see you're getting caught up with the latest goings on."

She smiled as she folded the paper and placed it next to her on the table. She was surprised that he brought the tray of food into the room without handcuffing her as she stood and walked over toward him. "I thank you for that Jean Paul. I do enjoy sitting reading the paper with a cup of coffee."

He smiled, "I'll remember to leave you a cup tomorrow before I leave."

He pulled the chair out for her, "thank you Jean Paul."

He sat across from her, "you're very welcome Kitty." He pointed to the food, "I hope you will enjoy."

She took a forkful of chicken salad, "Jean Paul this is wonderful. I think you have missed your calling. You should have opened a restaurant."

He smiled, "perhaps I could be the chef at _**Russell**__**'**__**s**_?"

She smiled, "you have the job!"

He stopped eating and clasped his hands together under his chin, "I am enjoying this conversation immensely my dear almost as much as I'm enjoying being with you."

She smiled, "well, thank you Jean Paul. I guess I just needed to be a little bit more open minded about us."

He reached for her hand, "I am so glad to hear you say that."

She put her other hand up, "now I'm not saying I have changed overnight, you understand, but you have definitely given me something to think about."

"I have told you that I will give you all the time you need. Just the thought of us being together one day will sustain me." Kitty grinned as she continued eating her meal.

Matt entered police headquarters behind two patrolmen and the male suspect. The sergeant at the front desk called to Matt informing him that the Captain wanted to see him. Matt walked down the long hallway and knocked on Ed McCarthy's door. "Come in." Matt entered the room, "Matt, please have a seat." Ed pointed to the chair in front of his desk. "I owe you a great deal of gratitude. Close to a year now he had eluded us but you bagged him. Nice work."

Matt shook his head, "I wish I could take all the credit but you gave me the lead." He furrowed his brow, "who was that anyway?"

"He's a two bit hood by the name of Tanner Monceau. I guess he decided to add kidnapping to his long rap sheet." Ed paused then shook his head, "I'm sorry that the lead didn't help find your wife but you certainly did that woman a favor...and us."

Matt nodded, "yeah, well, when I heard the moan I was hoping."

Ed sprung forward in his chair, "listen Matt, let us help you find her."

Matt shook his head, "I appreciate it Ed but if too many people are out searching it might spook Jean Paul into leaving the city. It may take me a little longer but I will find Kitty."

Ed nodded, "well, as long as you know we are here to assist you whenever you need us."

Matt stood, "I really appreciate that Ed." He extended his hand, "and I will remember it."

"Good luck Matt."

Matt smiled, "thanks." He paused, "you know, there is something you can do for me Ed."

"Oh, what's that?"

"You can keep my name out of the papers. The last thing I need is for Jean Paul to know I'm in town."

Ed smiled, "you still think he's your man…huh?"

Matt nodded, "if he isn't Ed I may never see my wife again."

Matt closed the door and walked down the corridor to leave headquarters when he heard someone yell after him, "hey big man." He turned to see the woman he rescued smiling as she walked toward him, "sorry, I didn't know any other way of getting your attention." She extended her hand, "my name is Sally Renard."

Matt shook her hand, "nice to meet you Sally. My name is Matt Dillon."

"I really owe you a lot Matt and I'll forever be grateful." She paused, "they tell me that you are looking for your wife." Matt nodded, "well, I hope you find her. I wouldn't want any woman to go through what I went through."

"Did you know that guy?"

She shook her head, "nope, never saw him before. One night I came home and after I walked into the house everything went black. When I woke I was at that house lying in the middle of the floor tied up."

"How long were you there?"

She shook her head, "I couldn't tell you. One day was the same as the next to me." She reached out to touch Matt's arm, "I have to apologize about my behavior. I didn't mean to come on so strong but…"

Matt smiled as he raised his hand, "I understand."

Sally smiled, "you sure are some man all right." She nodded, "and that is the truth." She ran her hand up and down his arm, "your wife is a very lucky woman."

Matt shook his head, "I'm the lucky one Sally."

Sally waved her hand, "that just figures, the one decent man that crosses my path and he's totally in love with his wife."

He grabbed her arm, "you going to be all right Sally?"

"Ah sure, I'll bounce back."

Matt smiled as he released her arm, "well good, I'm glad."

He turned to walk away and she grabbed his arm, "I hope you find her Matt. I get the impression that she is pretty special."

"She is…thanks Sally."

She reached up and kissed him on the cheek, "thanks for everything Matt and if I hear anything I'll let the police know so you check back with them from time to time…OK?"

Matt nodded, "can you do me a favor?"

"You name it."

"Please don't mention me if anyone should ask about your rescue."

She smiled, "oh, and modest too!"

Matt shook his head, "I don't want to give the person who took my wife any idea that I'm in town."

Sally looked puzzled, "you think you know the man who took your wife?"

"I'm not positive, no, but I have a pretty good idea."

Sally smiled, "you can count on me Matt. That's the least I can do to repay you for your kindness."

Matt took her by the arms, "thanks Sally." He turned to leave as she stood in place watching his every move until Matt walked out the front door.

Dusk was setting upon the city when Jean Paul entered the room. Kitty looked up from her book as he made his way toward her. He reached out to take her hands, "Kitty, dear, I need to hide you away while I prepare the room for dinner."

Kitty eyed him skeptically, "Jean Paul I promise not to interfere with your plans. It's really not necessary to lock me in a room somewhere."

He held her hands as he helped her from the chair, "Where will the surprise be if you are watching every move I make?" He moved her toward the wash room, "come now, the sooner you cooperate the sooner we can have dinner."

She shook her head, "I really don't see the need for…"

"Kitty, it will only be a few moments…please."

She threw up her hands in resignation, "all right, I think it's crazy but..."

He locked the door, "I think you will be pleased when you see what I've done."

He moved the table from the wall and pulled up the sides. He laid a white linen cloth over the wooden top and placed a dozen red roses in the middle with two crystal candle holders on either side. He lit the candles then went to the kitchen to retrieve the food. After arranging the plates on the table, he dimmed the lights and walked over to unlock the door. Kitty stood, hands on her hips, "really Jean Paul this was not necessary I…"

He placed his finger over his lips, "shhh." He then placed his hand over her eyes and guided her into the next room.

She stood before the table and he dropped his hand, "oh, Jean Paul, that is beautiful."

"I was hoping you'd be pleased."

She bent over to smell the roses, "umm…they smell so good."

He removed one from the vase, "you can hold on to this while I place the vase on the table over there." Kitty smelled the rose again. "Now, we can have a conversation without any obstruction."

He held out her chair, "thank you." She took a bite of the beef, "oh my, Jean Paul this is wonderful."

He smiled in delight, "I am so glad you are enjoying the meal."

She smiled, "I am."

They sat in silence for a few moments before Kitty looked over at Jean Paul, "do you mind if I ask you a question?"

He shook his head, "no, not at all."

She hesitated, "it's a personal one."

He smiled, "how else for us to get to know each other better?" He gestured with his hand, "please ask away."

She thought a moment, "I have heard about your reputation with women but I'm coming to see another side of you. You strike me as a man who, I believe, enjoys being in love and the thought of having one woman to share your life with is very appealing to you." She paused, "I'm guessing you look forward to moments like this." She eyed him, "am I right?"

He put his fork down and stared at her, "are you asking me about my love life Kitty?"

She shook her head, "no, I'm asking you about a woman who was very special to you once."

He sat back in his chair, "and you're certain there was one?"

Kitty nodded, "yes, I don't think this is the first time you have experienced love."

He smiled, "you might be overcome with jealousy if such a hypothesis exists."

She grinned, "I'll risk it."

"Ah, my Kitty, no one will ever take the gambler out of you...will they."

"Well…Jean Paul?"

He reached for the wine and poured both another glass. He took a deep breath before he began, "it was many years ago I met a beautiful young woman. Her name was Jacqueline Babineaux." He looked reflective, "her hair was as brilliant as the red setting sun and her fiery nature stirred me every time we were together." He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, "I was so in love with her, would have done anything for her, if only…" He opened his eyes and looked at Kitty.

Kitty furrowed her brow, "if only what?"

He whispered. "She could have returned my love."

Kitty looked concerned, "what happened?"

He took a sip of wine, "she had this way about her that made you believe that you were the only man in her life." He put his hand up, "not that I wasn't aware of how popular she was but she made me believe that, when all was said and done, I would be the one she would spend the rest of her life with." He stood and began to pace, "the day she agreed to be my wife was the happiest day in my life. We spent the next few months planning our life together," he chuckled, "even naming our children." Kitty's eyes followed his every movement until he came back to the table and sat down. He picked up the rose that was lying on the table and smelled it. "During the wedding preparations she suggested I move into her home. I was hesitant at first but I finally agreed." He took a deep breath, "Ah, Kitty, I was the happiest man in the world." He reached for his glass and took a sip of wine, "it was two days before our nuptials when I returned home one afternoon, quite unexpectedly, and there in the front room was my Jacqueline writhing in pleasure on the sofa. I was frozen in place, my feet unable to move, as I watched them. She opened her eyes long enough to see me standing there then she quickly threw him to the floor and grabbed his shirt to cover her body. I had already made my escape but she caught up to me pleading for my forgiveness. She tried desperately to get me to stay but I had to get out of that house. The next day I returned to pick up some of my things and we managed to have a civil conversation." He took a deep breath, "it turned out that she was once engaged to that man but he left her at the altar. She hadn't seen him in years and he was in town so he stopped by. She told him that she was soon to be married but in the process of wishing her well the old feelings surfaced and she couldn't resist renewing old acquaintances...so to speak." He stared at Kitty, "you seem baffled my dear."

She shook her head, "that must have been very hurtful."

He abruptly stood and paced, "well, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, ey Kitty?"

"I suppose."

He quickly turned in her direction, "I am ruining a perfectly wonderful evening talking about myself." He sat down and reached for her hand, "when all I want to do is concentrate on you." He released her hand and picked up his fork, "let's finish our dinner, there is plenty of time to talk." Kitty nodded and returned to her meal.

Darkness was descending on the city when Matt drove his coach near the DePaul home. He walked the few houses down then swung his long legs over the short fence surrounding the property. As he approached the house he made his way to the rear entrance and tried the back door. He would prefer that Gertrude was not at home but he was more than prepared to risk her wrath to find Kitty. After playing with the lock for awhile he finally managed to carefully open the door. He stood still for a moment listening for any sound before he slowly descended the stairs into the basement and cautiously checked the room. After thoroughly checking the main floor, Matt made his way to the upstairs bedrooms and attic but there was no sign that the house had been lived in lately. Disappointed, Matt left by the back door and walked around the house. He climbed into the coach and slowly made his way back to the hotel.

Kitty had changed for the evening and climbed into bed. She was in the middle of a chapter when Jean Paul arrived for the evening. She looked up and placed her hand against the wrought iron headboard. Jean Paul smiled, "I thought I'd let you finish reading before you were tucked in for the night."

She nodded, "that was very thoughtful." She continued reading the book as Jean Paul changed into his nightwear. She glanced up over her spectacles as he slid on each part of the pajama set. He was a fine specimen of man and there was no denying his attributes. Her only concern was that she looked down quickly enough when he turned in her direction.

He grabbed the paper as he pulled the covers half way up his body, "I think I'll catch up on some reading too Kitty." He was allowing her a few more privileges each time they were together but she was sure that one misstep and it all could turn bad for her in a hurry. He turned to face her, "I was thinking Kitty, tonight we talked at great length about part of my life and now I would like to find out a little bit more about yours."

Kitty turned to him, "we've had numerous conversations over the years Jean Paul. I don't think there is anything more I could tell you."

He dismissed her with his hand, "oh, I know the public Kitty Russell but I don't know the woman inside that persona. I want to become acquainted with the woman who loves and understand why she loves."

Kitty shook her head, "I don't understand what you mean."

"Well, I know you come from New Orleans and worked the riverboats and most likely did some things you were not so proud of just to survive. I assume when you had the chance to flee you took it but how you managed to settle in the wilderness escapes me."

She shrugged, "didn't have much money so I had to stay and find a job."

He placed his hand on his chin, "hmm…I see…and what kind of job were you able to secure?"

Kitty hesitated, "I worked in a saloon."

He chuckled, "should have stayed on the riverboats, at least the people there had money and experience. What could those backward men know about pleasing a woman?"

Kitty sat up a little straighter, "They bought me drinks and I listened…that was all."

"Pity, they could have learned a lot from you." He snapped his fingers, "oh, that's right, there probably wasn't any time left after you finished giving the law a few lessons." He looked at Kitty, "was he a jealous man?"

She placed her book and spectacles on the nightstand, "I told you men bought me drinks and I listened."

"Ah, but drunk men can get very amorous do they not? I'm sure he didn't like it when men were putting their hands all over your body."

"I could handle myself."

Jean Paul chuckled, "oh, I'm sure you could but that's not the point. I would bet seeing a man touching what he thought was his didn't sit well. I know that is how I would feel."

"Matt is different."

He smiled, "educate me."

"Matt has always been an open and straightforward man. There was never a day that I didn't know where I stood in his life and he never made any promises about tomorrow. I knew he loved me and that was enough."

He shook his head, "sounds like a very lonely life to me Kitty. You should have moved on to a more exciting life in a big city befitting of the woman you are."

Kitty glared at him, "Matt is a good man, a better man than I could ever find in a big city."

He chuckled, "I don't know if he is as deserving of the pedestal you have put him on. Maybe we should take a trip to his mountain hideaway; you might just find that he is a mortal man like the rest of us."

"I'm not talking about this anymore Jean Paul. Just handcuff me to the bed and let's get some sleep."

He reached over and stroked her face, "I don't say these things to hurt you Kitty. I just want you to realize that your life with the cowboy left a lot to be desired. He made the rules and you lived by them and then when it was no longer his rules he left you to start a new life with a woman who could abide by his edicts." Kitty had enough and threw the covers off her body and tried to leave. Jean Paul leapt to his knees and pulled her back, tears welling in her eyes, "you will see it my way one day Kitty." He gently wiped the tears as they fell down the side of her face, "I do love you. My love will show you that the cowboy didn't love you at all." He reached for the handcuffs and secured her to the strand of iron. He pulled the covers across her body and returned to bed. He reached over, kissed her cheek as his lips continued down her neck. She gritted her teeth as his hands gently pulled away the covers and lightly ran down her body. He looked into her eyes, "the day we make love we both will realize what love really means." He kissed her in a long embrace which caught her totally off guard. She stared at him as he stroked her face, "that is only the beginning Kitty, there is more to come." He lowered the lamp and whispered. "Sweet dreams." Kitty took a deep breath. He was escalating the advances toward her and she was beginning to doubt he was going to give her the time he had promised. She had to be prepared to change her plan on a moment's notice.

Matt returned to the hotel and headed straight for his room. He poured a drink before he headed in to wash. He changed into the pajamas Kitty had given him, grabbed the drink, and climbed into bed. He sat with his back against the headboard with mind racing. Although he was able to save one woman, both leads fell short of their desired result. He had hit a dead end and the helplessness he felt overcame him. He threw the covers off his body and went to the table to grab the bottle. He returned to bed, filled the glass, and threw it down. After repeating the ritual a few times he put the bottle on the nightstand and turned down the lamp. He lay in the darkness staring at the ceiling trying desperately to be positive but the sight of Sally battered and abuse, for who knows how long, had stayed with him. He had to believe that Jean Paul would not treat Kitty like that but he couldn't know it for sure. With no concrete evidence to prove that Jean Paul was holding Kitty, he had to rely on his gut feeling and hope that wouldn't fail him. In the dead of night, he decided to send a telegram home to inquire if Jean Paul was back in New Orleans. For Kitty's sake the answer had to be no.


	46. Like Pieces Of A Puzzle

Matt sipped his coffee as he stared at the piece of paper in his hand. Garth noticed him sitting in the corner of the dining room and walked toward him. "I hope that telegram brings good news."

Matt looked up as Garth sat down, "well, Jean Paul has not returned to New Orleans but I'm not sure that is good news."

Garth looked puzzled, "why do you say that?"

Matt paused, reluctant to verbalize his thoughts. "That doesn't necessarily mean that he is still in Baton Rouge."

Garth looked disappointed, "oh, I see what you mean." He paused, "what's your plan now?"

Matt took a deep breath, "I'm not really sure. I thought I'd ride around and see if I notice anything."

Garth looked pensive, "you sure you won't let the police help you?"

Matt shook his head, "that would be my last resort."

Garth nodded, "well, I'll keep my eyes and ears open."

Matt stood, "I appreciate it Garth. I'll see you later."

Garth stood, "good luck Matt."

Matt smiled, "thanks."

Jean Paul slid the key into the lock and made his way into the foyer. He smiled when a beautiful stately woman emerged from the den. She came closer as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a passionate embrace. She quickly pushed him away, "I haven't seen you in days and now you think you can waltz in here and have your way with me?"

He gently touched her face, "now, Abby, I told you I have been very busy." He ran his hands up and down her arms, "you know how much I love you and that you are the most beautiful woman in the world."

She snickered, "what you find attractive is my money."

He chuckled as he placed his fingers under her chin, "nonsense, you would be stunningly beautiful even if you didn't have a penny to your name."

She folded her hands across her chest, "I don't know why I even let you in here."

He grabbed her around the waist, "because you are helplessly in love with me, as I am with you."

She broke away, "I'm tired of this Jean Paul. I told you the last time we were together that I want to get married."

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "We will Abby I promise, I just need some time to sell my business in New Orleans." He ran his lips down her neck, "then we will be together for the rest of our lives."

She closed her eyes as his hands stroked her body. He whispered. "Let's go upstairs my dear so we can further discuss how life will be when you are finally my wife."

She turned and ran her hand down his face, "I love you so much Jean Paul and I want to believe…"

He placed his hand over her mouth, "you can believe it." He kissed her, "I am in negotiations to sell my business in New Orleans and once that is done I will be yours forever." He ran his hand through her hair and smiled, "that is if you can stand me around all the time."

She gave him a wary look, "that would make me very happy but I fear I'm never going to see the day."

He smiled, "ah, my doubting princess. Let me convince you how very sincere I am." He placed his arm around her waist and moved her toward the stairs.

Kitty thumbed through the morning paper sipping her coffee alone in her locked fortress. She hadn't seen Jean Paul since breakfast and was enjoying a welcomed respite from the game playing. As she scanned the news articles one caught her eye. WOMAN RESCUED FROM ABANDONED HOUSE. As she read further it stated that the woman had been taken against her will to a house down on Maple by a man who had eluded the police for close to a year. Kitty stared at the article for a moment noting something odd. She began sifting through details of similar crimes that she had just read and noticed that in each piece the reporting was a very detailed account. It was as if the specifics of the arrest in this piece were deliberately left vague. She looked up in contemplation as she placed the paper in her lap. Eventually a small grin spread across her face and although she knew she dare not raise her expectations she was almost positive that Matt was in town.

Abigail Morrison slept soundly in Jean Paul's arms as he ran his fingers lightly over her velvety skin. Her father, Franklin Morrison, was a well respected doctor in town and her mother, Helen, was a Wainwright, one of the most wealthy, influential families in the city. Abigail was an only child and between her parents and servants she was very used to having her way. Abigail met Jean Paul at a cotillion when they were much younger and she was quite taken by him. Although strikingly beautiful she wasn't a woman who he could see spending a great deal of time with. Over the years, she pursued him ardently and eventually he willingly accepted her offer of sexual interludes and expensive gifts. Her father's death was a devastating blow and she expected Jean Paul to fill the void which he unwillingly tried to do. Feeling smothered he eventually made the move to New Orleans and fortunately she stayed behind to care for her mother. He loved his new found freedom and he enjoyed it with an array of eligible women who loved being showered with his attention. Life was good in New Orleans and it didn't take long for Abigail to disappear from his mind. Years later, after her mother died, she came to New Orleans to resume the loving relationship she perceived she had with Jean Paul. He offered to let her stay in his apartment for the short term hoping that she would one day return to Baton Rouge. As the months went by the small apartment over the store began to close in on her and she surprised him by buying a house for them. Abigail had made life too easy for him and although he felt guilty at times he still spent his afternoons romancing his female clients. It was only when she witnessed him making love to one of the women that she packed her bags and went back to Baton Rouge. It was years later when he received a letter from her stating all was forgiven and she wanted to continue their relationship at any cost. As he stroked her hair he regretted entering her life again but when he thought about Kitty and the life they were going to share together nothing else mattered. He reminded himself that there would be no time for remorse when he broke her heart. As he glanced down at Abigail she began to stir in his arms. He leaned over and kissed her. Her eyes flickered opened, "hmm…that feels good."

He smiled, "that's what I'm here for." He paused, "Abby, I know I haven't taken your feelings into account very often." He shrugged, "I guess being on my own for so long tends to make me think only of myself." He ran his fingers down her face, "but that is all going to change soon. I want us to be married."

She stroked his face, "oh, Jean Paul, I want that too."

He took a deep breath, "while you were sleeping I was sitting here thinking about that. I can't see any reason why I have to wait to sell my business. I have a very capable assistant who can run the place and if anything comes up that she can't handle she can get in touch with me."

Abigail sat up, "but I thought the women came to see you. Aren't you afraid that if you don't go back your business will fail?"

He stared at her naked body, "let it. I don't need any other woman but you."

She smiled as she rubbed his chest, "now who is going to buy your business if it isn't thriving?"

Jean Paul looked confused, "are you saying you don't want to marry me?"

She chuckled, "oh, heaven's no, I'm just saying that you should stay until you have a buyer. Once the papers are signed we can plan our wedding."

He leaned against the headboard disappointed, "and here I thought you would be so happy."

She kissed him, "I am." He became quiet, "have I said something wrong Jean Paul?"

He shook his head, "I certainly can see your point but I thought that, for once in my life, I would make a purely romantic decision but you stopped me dead in my tracks." He looked down, "I can't believe my decision didn't make you as happy as I thought it would."

She smiled, "oh my love, you surprise me sometimes." She kissed him, "you know how much I love you and I will marry you tomorrow if it will make you happy."

He hugged her tight, "you have made me the happiest man in the world." He stared into her eyes, "no, correct that, the happiest day will be when I can finally call you my wife." He smiled, "we should celebrate this momentous occasion in most unforgettable fashion."

Abby furrowed her brow, "what do you have in mind?"

He paused, "since neither of us have any family of note why don't we run off and marry somewhere you had always dreamed of going."

"Paris?"

"Is there any reason why we shouldn't?" He raised his hand in dismissal, "I'm afraid I allowed my excitement to get the best of me my love. I'm acting like a man who has all the resources in the world at his disposal." He dejectedly leaned against the headboard, "all my money is tied up in my business…so it seems I will have to sell it first."

She straddled him and held his face with her hands, "Jean Paul I can give you the money to make the arrangements."

He shook his head, "I won't hear of such a thing. I should be the one to give you the perfect wedding day."

She kissed his neck, "Jean Paul, it will be perfect. It doesn't matter where the money comes from as long as we are together for the rest of our lives."

He ran his hands up and down her body, "we are going to be so happy." His lips ran down her neck as he fondled her breast. She let out with a soft moan, "shall we consummate the decision of our impending nuptials?"

She chuckled as she lay on her back, "whatever you say my love." Jean Paul laughed as he lowered his body on hers.

Kitty woke from her nap disappointed again that Matt was only in her dream. She slid off the bed and walked toward the window staring out into nothingness. As much as she had come to believe that Matt was in town, a look of concern washed across her face. She wholeheartedly trusted in his tracking ability but in such unfamiliar terrain she wondered how Matt would manage to navigate his way here so far from civilization. One thing was for certain she needed to remain in Baton Rouge for as long as she could. She wasn't sure what Jean Paul had in mind but she had her suspicion that he was thinking about moving on. She walked toward the bed to lie down again so glad that Jean Paul disappeared in the afternoons. To pass the time she would speculate where Jean Paul went during the day but it was times like these that meant the world to her. The mental sparring was draining and the unpredictability of her situation worried her most days. As she stared at the ceiling she could only hope that Matt was a day closer to finding her.

Jean Paul slowly climbed out of bed and began to dress. He was about to leave the room when Abigail called after him. "Where are you going love?"

He walked back and sat next to her, "I told you, I have a meeting that I need to attend." He bent down to kiss her, "as much as I would love to stay here with you I have to make an appearance every now and again."

She ran her hand down his arm, "I just don't understand why you can't be with me in the evenings."

He gently ran his fingers through her hair, "because that's when most of the activities are. By the time they are over I am too drained to go anywhere but my room." He kissed her, "you should be happy that I am able to sneak away during the afternoon breaks."

She smiled, "I am." She ran her fingers down his face.

He smiled, "I do love you, you know." She nodded, "good, then I'll be back tomorrow for the money and then I'll make the arrangements." He kissed her, "we are going to be so happy my love."

She smiled, "I know we will." She watched him leave the room then she turned on her side with a satisfied grin on her face.

Kitty had just drifted off to sleep when she heard whistling coming toward the door. She slowly sat up as Jean Paul entered the room with spirit soaring. "Ah, Kitty, I'm so glad to see that you are up."

She shot him a look, "oh, and what has you so happy?" As she stood he picked her up and twirled her around the room, "everything is falling into place my dear and you are going to be a very happy woman."

Kitty tried to push out of his arms, "Jean Paul, for goodness sake, let me down!"

He complied, "we are going to celebrate tonight."

She gave him an incredulous look, "I suppose you'll be taking me to one of the finest restaurants in Baton Rouge?"

He threw his head back and laughed, "no, but we will be free of this place soon."

She raised her eyebrows, "oh?"

He cupped her face with his hands, "if all goes well my love we'll be in Paris in a couple of weeks."

Kitty furrowed her brow, "Paris?"

He ran his hands up and down her arms, "that is the only city in the world that can come close to your beauty."

Kitty's mind was racing as she stumbled to find reasons to delay, "Jean Paul what about your business…my children…my business…uh…" She pointed at her body, "I don't even have clothes to wear."

He grabbed her around the waist, "I will buy you the most stunning wardrobe that will make you the envy of every woman in the city." He kissed her, "as far as your children are concerned we will send for them once we are settled. They will love Paris and I will love them. I'm sure the cowboy will be more than happy to be relieved of his responsibility." He snickered, "it will give him the opportunity to go back to that hovel in the mountains and be with his squaw."

She pushed him away, "everything is so sudden." She began to pace, "Jean Paul I need time for this to sink in."

He walked up behind Kitty and wrapped his arms around her waist. He kissed her neck, "we won't be leaving for a few days but by then the thought of Paris and our life together will have you begging me to leave earlier." He released her and made his way toward the door, "I will be back with dinner and we are going to celebrate our impending journey."

Kitty sat quietly at dinner calculating her next move. She played with the food on the plate as Jean Paul watched her. "Kitty, what's wrong?" She shook her head without looking up, "this was supposed to be a night of great joy. You look so sad."

She slowly looked into his eyes, "I wouldn't expect you to understand."

He smiled, "try me."

She paused as she held his stare, "you can't possibility understand what it is to be a mother. If we leave, without my children knowing where we are, I'm afraid that they will never want to see me again." She held his hand, "I couldn't bear that Jean Paul."

He ran his thumb up and down her hand, "Kitty, I guess I never gave that a thought." He stood and began to pace then shook his head, "I can't see how we could take them with us now."

She stood and walked over to him, "why can't we?"

He ran his fingers through her hair, "it just wouldn't work."

"Why?"

His fingers ran down her face, "I love you Kitty and I want you for the rest of my life."

"Then how would my children be in the way?"

He walked away from her then turned back toward her, "it's not your children I'm worried about."

Kitty looked puzzled, "then who?"

"Your cowboy."

She laughed, "Jean Paul you have been telling me for days now that he doesn't love me, he has another woman, he would be happy to see me go." She walked toward him, "why would he stand in our way?"

"Because he is a man Kitty. He may not love you but he doesn't want any other man taking what is his."

She placed her hands on his chest, "what if I had a talk with him? Told him that you were the man I loved."

He stared at her as he took her words into consideration. Suddenly a grin spread across his face, "I would like nothing more than for you to tell him the truth but I can't take that risk."

She ran her fingers down his face, "I don't see the risk."

He kissed her, "he is a lawman my dear and could have me arrested for kidnapping."

She shook her head, "not if I tell him I went along willingly. Kidnapping would be awfully hard to prove then."

Jean Paul chuckled, "I see living with the law has its advantages."

"Then you'll let me speak with him?"

He looked her up and down, "I'll give it some thought." He pulled her close, "I fear that you will not be happy until your children are with us." His lips ran down her neck as she clenched her teeth. He whispered in her ear, "then maybe you will be able to give yourself completely to me."

She smiled, "maybe I will have to give that some thought as well."

He laughed. "Oh Kitty, you are delightful." He extended his arm, "shall we continue eating?" She nodded as they walked toward the table.

Jean Paul emerged from the wash room and then walked toward the bed. He looked over at Kitty chained to the headboard as he lifted the spreadsheet over his body. He leaned over to kiss her neck as he ran his hand lightly over her body. She bit her lip saying a silent prayer that it would be over quickly. He looked up at her as he continued moving his finger around the taut rise in her nightgown, "you are the love that I have been searching for my whole life. That first night in Paris will be one we will both remember." He kissed her, "good night Kitty." He turned on his side as she breathed a huge sigh of relief.

The next morning Garth spotted Matt sitting in the lobby reading the morning paper. "Good morning Matt."

Matt looked up, "Morning Garth."

Garth sat down next to him as Matt lowered the paper to his lap. "I guess you didn't have much luck yesterday."

Matt shook his head, "no, but I'm heading out again today."

Garth furrowed his brow, "wouldn't it be better to have the help of the police?"

"If it comes to that I will. Right now, they have a picture of Jean Paul from the time he accepted his Man of the Year Award. If they see him around town they'll take him into custody." Matt paused, "then I just have to hope my gut instinct about him is right." He took a deep breath, "until then I'll continue to search the city."

"But what if he never comes to town? What if he already left with Kitty? Wouldn't you want to know sooner rather than later?"

Matt smiled as he placed the paper down next to him. He stood, "Garth, Kitty is still in this town and alive I sense it and the one thing I know about my wife is that she is a survivor." Garth stood next to him, "he'll slip up one day and Kitty will know what to do." He patted Garth on the back, "I'll see you later." Garth watched Matt as he walked out the front door. He didn't understand Matt's methods but as he walked toward the dining room he sincerely hoped that Matt was right.

Abigail embarked from her coach and headed for the bank. After a pleasant conversation with the bank manager she withdrew five thousand dollars and made her way home. In the middle of her trip she decided to surprise Jean Paul at the hotel but she couldn't remember which one it was. On a whim, she pulled the coach to a halt as she approached the Harney House Hotel. Every man's head in the lobby turned as she made her way to the front desk. Joe smiled as she drew near, "can I help you Miss?"

Abigail smiled, "a friend of mine mentioned he was staying at this hotel. I was wondering if you could let Jean Paul Beaumont know that Abigail is in the lobby."

Joe smiled, "he was here Miss but, sorry to say, Mr. Beaumont left, oh, a few days ago."

Abigail looked puzzled, "a few days?"

Joe nodded his head, "yes Miss."

Still confused by Joe's answer she looked back at him, "did he mention going to another hotel in town?"

Joe shook his head, "no, once the Chamber of Commerce meeting was over I assumed he headed back to New Orleans."

She looked away and mumbled, "yes, but he didn't."

"What was that Miss?"

She waved her hand, "oh nothing." She extended her hand, "thank you for your help sir; I thought he would have been staying longer. Sorry to bother you."

"Oh, no bother Miss." Joe smiled as he watched her walk out the front door. He sighed as he momentarily daydreamed about having a woman like that to love. It wasn't until a minute later that he realized she might have been helpful in finding Kitty Russell.

Garth slammed his fist on the desk, "Joe how could you let someone like that go?"

Joe shook his head, "I wasn't thinking and…"

Garth quickly interrupted, "that's for certain!"

"If you had only seen her sir, she was the kind of woman that made you forget everything."

Garth paced around the room, "so, she said her name was Abigail?" He turned back to Joe, "did she give you a last name?"

Joe shook his head, "no sir, just said to have someone tell Mr. Beaumont that Abigail was in the lobby."

Garth flailed his arm, "that's not much to go on." He turned back to Joe, "you say you could recognize her again if you saw her?"

Joe nodded, "oh, yes sir!"

"Good, tomorrow you are getting the day off to ride with Matt Dillon."

Jean Paul collected the breakfast dishes and piled them on the tray. He walked toward Kitty and ran his hands down her silky nightgown. "It will only be another few days before we leave," he placed his hands around her face, "and we will be able to finally share our love." He kissed her neck, "why don't you get ready for the day."

She made a move toward the wash room, "well, the one plus is in a few days I know I'll be able to breathe fresh air!"

He smiled, "you don't think I know how confining this has been for you?" He reached for her and pulled her close, "I will give you all the air you need in Paris." He kissed her and then ran his finger down her neck, "I'll be back soon." She watched him leave the room as she chuckled to herself, "_we__'__ll__see__how__far__we__get__Jean__Paul._"

Jean Paul entered the Wainwright residence, "Abby?" He took a few steps around the room, "Abby…where are you?"

He could hear a faint voice calling from the upstairs bedrooms. He took the stairs two steps at a time and hurried toward her bedroom. He quickly opened the door to find Abigail naked, sitting up in bed, sipping the finest in champagnes. "I guess money will certainly put a fire under you…huh Jean Paul?"

He shook his head as he quickly undressed, "you put the fire in me Abby." He slowly placed the glass on the table as he stared into her eyes, "I want to love you for the rest of my life."

As it always did, his touch released all the anger that she held inside. She craved the feel of his lips as they ran down her body, his long fingers tenderly caressing and prodding her thrusts, and finally the feeling of oneness and climax that no other man had ever been able to get her to achieve. As he fell limply into her arms she wanted so much to recount how many times he hurt her, humiliated her, and embarrassed her by his discrete womanizing and his constant lies but she couldn't. She needed moments like these to make her feel alive again and she had to trust that, when all was said and done, she was going to be his one true love. Jean Paul slowly lay on his back as she kissed his chest and placed her head on his shoulder, "I have the money love, it's in the top right hand drawer."

He smiled, "that is wonderful." He placed his hand on his head and turned toward her. He stared into her eyes then gazed at her body as his hand skimmed over her soft skin. "No other woman makes me feel this way Abby. I need you for the rest of my life."

She touched his face, "I feel the same love. Tell me, what is the plan?"

"The plan?"

"Yes, how long do I have before we make our way to Paris?" She continued to stroke his face. "I mean, I do need some time to close this house and make arrangements with the lawyers for its upkeep while we are away."

"Oh, yes," he nibbled at her breast.

She pushed him slightly, "Jean Paul, these are very real concerns of mine. Just as you have someone to watch over your shop I need to have someone watch over the family home."

"Can't we save the business details for later and just enjoy the time we have pleasuring each other now?"

Abigail sat up quickly and laid her back against the headboard, "no, Jean Paul, because there won't be a business discussion later. You'll wait till I'm asleep and then you'll slithered out and go who knows where."

Feeling he wasn't getting anywhere, he took a deep breath and sat with his back against the headboard. "Now that you've taken the excitement out of the afternoon what is it that you want to discuss?"

"I just need to know when we are leaving so that I can have everything in place to make the move."

He thought a moment and then nodded, "I will make the arrangements for a week from today. That should give you enough time to do what you need to do."

She smiled as her eyes scanned his long frame, "good." She leaned over him moving her lips slowly down his body. He closed his eyes and thoroughly enjoyed his reward.

Jean Paul smiled when he heard her soft snore. It had been a long afternoon of love making and an exhausting one. As he dressed, he looked forward to the day when this exercise would no longer be draining but a pleasure never experienced by him before. In a couple of weeks, Kitty and he would be exploring Paris and lying in each other's arms night after night on another woman's dime. He chuckled at that thought as he walked toward the drawer. He counted the money then turned back toward the bed and nodded. A part of him regretted treating her this way but having Kitty Russell for the rest of his life was well worth the deception. He tipped toed out of the room and carefully closed the door. Abigail heard the latch shut and she slowly turned. She grabbed enough clothes to cover her body then hurriedly ran to the back of the house where her coach was waiting. With any luck she would go undetected and finally discover the place where he was spending his nights.

Kitty was asleep when Jean Paul returned to the house. He drove the coach to the rear of the home tethering the reins to the railing of the back staircase. He reached into the inside coat pocket fingering the money that would give him and Kitty a new start. He smiled as the paper flicked against his thumb and his plan about to be realized. As he quickly turned he let out with a startled cry, "oh, Abby, don't you know you shouldn't sneak up on people like that?"

With tears welling in her eyes she spoke, "why not Jean Paul, you sneak around on me."

He reached out for her but she pushed him away, "my love, let me explain."

The tears were slowly running down her cheeks, "why do you keep doing this to me Jean Paul? Why can't you ever tell me the truth?" She looked up at the house, "what whore are you housing in here?"

He extended his arms, "please come here." She stared at him, "Abby, please let me hold you as I explain. Believe me, it is not what you think." She wanted to refuse him, to rush into the house and confront the woman, then walk away never to return. That was her plan as she rode to the house but what if she was wrong? What if she ran through the house like a madwoman and found no one? How would she be able to explain her irrational behavior and would he ever be able to forgive her for not trusting him? She stood for a moment before she broke down in tears. He reached to comfort her, "shh," he stroked her hair, "Abby it's all right, we're going to be all right." He pointed toward the wrought iron chairs on the lawn, "let's sit down over here and talk." He took her around the waist and waited for her to sit then he followed. "I know how this must look to you and I have to admit I was less than honest."

She waited until her sobs subsided before she spoke, "why are you here Jean Paul? Who owns this house?"

He gently wiped away her tears, "it's a woman I knew long ago and who I was very much in love with."

Abigail looked puzzled, "but why are you here?"

"She asked me to stay at her house while she went away on her honeymoon. She knew I was in town at the meeting and thought I might find the accommodations here more comfortable. She will be returning in a few days and then we can go off and enjoy our honeymoon."

Abigail still looked upset, "but why couldn't you have told me?"

He smiled as he stared into her eyes, "Abby, I was so afraid you wouldn't believe me and I would have lost you forever." He stroked her hair, "I couldn't bear the thought of that."

He kissed her neck as she took a deep breath, "I want to believe you Jean Paul I really do."

He smiled, "then believe me."

She thought a moment, "then let me stay here tonight."

Trying not to panic he kissed her, "My love I assure you that sleeping in my former lover's bed will not bring you the satisfaction that you think it will."

She smiled, "oh, quite the contrary," she began to open the top two buttons on her blouse, "I think we could achieve great satisfaction."

He nodded, "all right, fine. If my words have not convinced you that I am staying in this house alone then make your way inside." He stood and extended his hand for her to take. She stood with his assistance and he took her around the waist. "But, I'll have you know, if you take one step inside the house you will have destroyed any hope of renewing the trust between us and my feelings for you will never be the same." She stopped but he pulled her forward, "come, my dear, our night of sexual delights await."

She pushed him away, "I love you with all my heart and I want so badly to believe that you will never hurt me."

He held her tight, "believe it Abby."

She cupped his face with her hands, "I'm going home now Jean Paul to show you that I have faith in what you just told me."

He ran his fingers down her face, "it is my love."

She smiled, "and just in case it isn't," she quickly kneed him in the groin and he fell like a rock to the grass. He writhed in pain as she stood over him, "that will give you something to think about." Through watery eyes he watched her leave the yard. As his breathing returned to normal he carefully stood just in time to see her speed off down the lane. Kitty was just waking from her nap when she thought she heard the sound of a coach. She jumped out of bed and ran to the window just in time to see a cloud of dust.

Matt brought the hotel's coach back to the rear of the building. He sat for a moment and ran his hands over his face and took a deep breath. He was getting nowhere and time was running out. As much as he wanted to find Kitty on his own it might be time to admit he needs police help. He sat for a moment until a staff member of the hotel interrupted his thoughts. Matt handed him the reins and stepped down from the coach. He nodded his thanks and then walked into the rear of the hotel. Exhausted he headed for the stairs to take a much needed nap when Garth ran toward him. "Matt, I need to see you in my office."

"Sure Garth but why?"

"Just follow me." Matt shrugged as he followed behind.

Once inside the office he turned to Garth, "what's on your mind?"

"A woman came in today asking about Jean Paul."

"What?"

Garth nodded, "she wanted Joe to get Jean Paul and tell him that she was in the lobby."

"What was this woman's name?"

Garth shook his head, "unfortunately Joe only got her first name, and it's Abigail."

Matt thought a moment, "Abigail…huh?"

Garth began to pace, "I know it's not much to go on but it must mean that Jean Paul is still in town."

"Well, yesterday anyway." Matt paused, "do you think that Joe would remember the woman if he saw her again?"

Garth smiled, "evidently she was a very striking woman." Garth chuckled, "I think it was love at first sight for Joe."

Matt nodded, "good. There's not much light left today but I'd like to borrow Joe tomorrow if it's all right with you."

Garth smiled, "I've already made those arrangements."

"Good, we'll leave first thing in the morning."

"I'll go out and let Joe know. Oh, and Matt, I hope this woman will lead you to Jean Paul."

Matt smiled, "you and me both Garth. Thanks"

A few hours later, loud knocks on Matt's door jarred him from his sleep. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and tried to get his bearings. "Wait a minute, I'll be right there." He stood to walk toward the door wiping the sleep from his eyes. He opened the door and Garth was standing in the hall, "Garth?"

Garth was trying to catch his breath, "Matt…Abigail is…in the lobby bar."

Matt quickly tucked his shirt in his pants, "are you sure?"

Garth nodded, "Joe was leaving for the night when he saw her walk into the bar."

"All right Garth, I'll be right down." He started to close the door then stuck his head out of the room, "and for God's sakes don't let her leave."

"Don't worry Matt, I won't!"

Abigail eyed the bar as she entered and sat on the middle high back chair. The bartender looked puzzled as he walked over to her. "Maybe you would be more comfortable sitting at one of the tables?"

She scowled at the man, "if I wanted to sit at a table I would have."

He put his hands up, "it's just that we don't usually have ladies sitting alone at the bar."

"Well, then, I'll just have to be the first!" She reached into her reticule and pulled out a coin, "bourbon neat."

The bartender shrugged, "yes ma'am."

Matt stood at the doorway watching the exchange. He wasn't sure of his approach, all he knew was that the stakes were the highest they had ever been and Kitty's life hung in the balance. He took a deep breath and entered the room as Abigail threw down the drink and ordered another. He sat three chairs down from her. "What will it be sir?"

"I think I'll have rye whiskey." He placed a coin on the wooden surface. The bartender set the drink in front of him, "thanks."

He sipped his drink with a pensive expression on his face. After a few moments he could sense she was staring at him but he continued looking straight ahead. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed that she was having a conversation with the bartender and then she pointed in his direction. The bartender set another drink in front of Matt. "The lady wants to buy you a drink." Acting as if he was unaware of her presence he looked puzzled then turned to her. He smiled as he took the drink in his hand and motioned toward her in thanks. He took a sip then returned staring straight ahead.

Eventually she grabbed her drink and sat in the chair next to him. "Mind if I join you?"

Matt shook his head, "no, not at all."

She eyed his tall frame, "you here on business?"

He shook his head, "needed to get out of the house."

"Oh?" She took a sip of her drink then she noticed the ring on his finger, "where is your wife?"

Matt looked down at his ring finger, "ran off with another man."

Abigail looked puzzled, "I'd say she is one foolish woman to let a handsome man like you get away."

Matt let out with a little laugh, "I guess I'm no longer that handsome to her."

"Well, I think you are."

Matt smiled, "thanks, that helps my ego a little" he shrugged, "but nothing matters now that my marriage is over."

She rested her hand on his arm, "do you know the man?"

Matt threw down the drink, "no, all I know is he comes into town occasionally for a meeting and they would meet somewhere in town," he turned to Abigail, "she even went to New Orleans to meet him," he took a sip of his drink, "she lied about visiting a sick relative."

Her eyes widened a little as she looked away, "you say this man is from New Orleans?"

He motioned to the bartender to get both of them another drink, "oh, she couldn't wait to give me all the sordid details before she left. Where they met, the way he made her feel, oh, and how much younger and virile he was." Matt shook his head, "she couldn't help but throw that in my face."

She turned back to Matt, "did she say where she was going?"

Matt shook his head, "she was too busy packing and frankly I didn't want to know." He threw the drink down, "besides I'd be afraid of what I'd do to him if I knew where they were staying."

She placed her hand on his arm, "do you think they are in town?"

He shrugged, "could be." He signaled the bartender for another drink. "It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't still so much in love with her. He turned toward her, "have you ever been in love?"

Abigail looked down, "yes," she paused, "it's the reason I came here tonight."

Matt laughed. "Now, don't we make quite the pair?" He stared at her for a moment, "did your husband leave you too?"

She played with her reticule as she related the story, "I held on believing that one day I would be the only woman he needed in his life but I'm about to give up hope." She looked up at Matt and smiled, "you know, we are sharing such intimate details of our life and we don't even know each other's name."

He smiled, "I'm Matt Dillon."

She extended her hand, "well, Matt Dillon, I'm Abigail Morrison."

He took her hand, "nice to meet you Abigail."

They sat in silence as they slowly sipped on their drinks. She turned back toward Matt and took a deep breath, "I hate to admit this but I may know where your wife is."

He looked puzzled, "how would you know that?"

"It may be just a coincidence but the man that I'm in love with lives in New Orleans. He visited me the other day and told me that he was staying at a hotel because he had a business meeting. I later came to find out that the meeting was over so the next time he came to visit I followed him. He was staying at a house outside of town and swore that he was staying there as a favor to a former lover who was on her honeymoon." She hit the bar with her hand, "ooh, I hate him!" Matt ran his hand up and down her arm. She looked at him and smiled, "I can't be certain but if I was a betting woman I'd put my money on that your wife was inside."

Matt feigned anger, "I think your man needs to be taught a lesson."

She held his arm tight, "I don't want you getting hurt on account of me."

Matt smiled, "do I look like a man who can't take care of himself?" He placed his hand on her hers, "no, your lover will get the short end of the stick on any tangle with me."

Abigail looked deeply concerned, "I'm afraid he will never speak to me again if I tell you where he is."

Matt was astonished, "he is most likely with my wife right now making love to her and laughing at you for being so gullible. I don't mean to hurt you Abigail but I don't want this man to continue to use you either." He stroked her face, "you are too beautiful a woman to waste your time pining over a man like him. Give me a chance to make this right for both of us."

She stared into Matt's pleading blue eyes. As much as she didn't want to admit it Jean Paul had taken advantage of her for far too long and now this man was going to teach him a lesson he should have been taught many years ago. The more she thought about it the more she realized that Matt was right and it would be a mistake if she let this opportunity pass. "You won't hurt him too badly?"

Matt shook his head, "I'll let him throw the first punch." Matt placed his fingers under her chin, "I promise I'll go easy on him."

Still unsure, but trusting in Matt, she gave him the information, "he's staying in a stately old mansion about fifteen miles outside of town. Just follow the main road outside this hotel and head west, you can't miss it. It's in the middle of nowhere."

Matt smiled, "it would probably help if I knew his name."

"Jean Paul Beaumont." Before Matt could say another word, she cupped his face with her hands and kissed him. "Be careful Matt. I don't want anything to happen to you."

He stared at her, "I will."

Matt met Garth in the hallway leading to the rear of the hotel. "How did it go?"

"I'm hoping we hit pay dirt."

"Is it him?"

"Yep it's him. Now let's just hope he has Kitty!"

"Good luck Matt."

Matt nodded as he continued down the hall and out to the back of the hotel. Two hours of daylight remained when Matt brought the coach around to the front of the building. In his haste to leave he didn't notice that he was being followed.

The setting sun bathed the room in an orange hue as Kitty stared at the ceiling. She had not seen Jean Paul for awhile and it made her wonder whether it was his coach she had heard earlier. A rumbling approaching coach brought her to her feet and she quickly ran to the window but by the time she got there the coach was gone from view. Within a few minutes Jean Paul came running into the room. She turned to look at him, "are you all right?"

He was pacing frantically, "I think we need to change our plans."

She slowly approached, "why?"

He ran his hand through his hair, "because I've thought about it and I think it is best if we leave tomorrow."

"But what about my children?"

"We'll just have to send for them."

She walked closer, "now wait a minute Jean Paul, the deal was…"

He turned quickly, "the deal was we would be together in Paris and that I would think about having your children join us. Now, having them with us is not going to work."

Kitty looked puzzled, "you need to give me a better explanation than that Jean Paul."

He grabbed her by her arms and screamed, "I don't owe you anything!" He pulled her to the bed and handcuffed her wrist to the headboard. "Now shut up, I have to think."

She tugged at the handcuff, "what is it Jean Paul?"

He spun on his heels and yelled, "I told you to shut up!"

"Please talk to me, tell me what has you so upset?"

He ran over to the bed and straddled her body. He grabbed her other wrist and fastened that to the headboard. He grabbed her neck in his one hand, "I don't need you to analyze me I need you to shut up and do what I say." Kitty could barely swallow as his grip tightened. He could see the discomfort in her eyes and he snickered, "don't worry Kitty I'm not going to kill you. You serve a greater purpose to me alive." He slowly released his hold on her neck, "in fact," he ran his hands down her torso, "why should we wait until Paris." He looked at her fastened hands, "this arrangement might work out fine."

She pulled at the cuffs, "Jean Paul, let me go and I'll willingly make love to you. That is what you want, isn't it?"

He grinned, "it was until right this moment. Seeing you lying here helpless," he paused, "umm…I believe this excites me more." She tried to kick him off her but he managed to regain his balance. He laughed, "oh yes, I think this is going to work out better than I thought." He jumped off the bed and went into the wash room. When he returned he had two towels. Kitty continued to kick but he finally was able to pull her legs apart and tie both feet to the footboard. He stood over her, "it's a shame that I'm going to enjoy this so much more than you." He slowly opened the buttons on her blouse and ran his hand lightly over her breasts. She struggled to get away but that just seemed to encourage him further. She gradually surrendered and he smiled, "I knew that you would find this pleasurable Kitty."

She looked at him with contempt, "just get it over with Jean Paul. Prove what a big man you really are by forcing yourself on me."

He laughed, "you think I would find that distasteful Kitty?" He shook his head, "no, I'm not above doing that to a woman, any woman."

She rolled her eyes, "that I can believe!"

A smirk appeared on his face that Kitty wished more than anything in the world she could have wiped off, "oh, you are wise to believe it Kitty." He climbed off the bed and walked down to the footboard. "There was a time that I wanted it differently for us but now this might be my only chance."

She looked puzzled, "your only chance?"

He nodded, "I took the money from a woman in town with the promise that she and I would be going to Paris. She followed me here and although I think I've convinced her that I was here alone it worries me that she wasn't at home when I went there a little while ago." He shook his head, "pity that we couldn't have shared our love in Paris Kitty but I need to disappear for awhile and this will be my only chance to experience how it feels to be one with you." He pulled at his belt buckle, "it won't be long now Kitty." She swallowed hard and closed her eyes as he began to slowly unfasten the buttons on his trousers. "I'm going to make you feel like you've never felt before." Before he could completely undress the door crashed opened. He turned in time to feel a fist crash into his jaw that flung him across the room. He hit the wall hard and fell swiftly to the floor. He tried to protect himself as he was pulled to his feet. Matt slammed his body against the wall and had him by the throat. With his grip tightening and his rage unabated Kitty begged him to stop. She pulled at her cuffs and ropes, "Matt please stop! Don't kill him! Please Matt please!"

As he felt Jean Paul's body start to go limp two sets of hands pulled him away from Jean Paul's throat. Frank Reardon pushed Matt against the wall as Festus tried to catch Jean Paul before he fell hard to the wood floor. "Matt, it's over…you hear me Matt…it's over." Matt could feel the rage slowly dissipate as he took a deep breath. His eyes focused on Frank, "I think Kitty might need you. Festus and I will take care of the rest."

He bent over to retrieve the key from Jean Paul's pants then turned to Kitty, "oh Matt."

He unlocked the handcuffs and pulled her into his arms so thankful that she was alive. He pulled her close and held her tight, "everything is going to be all right Kitty."

He buttoned her blouse before he went to the footboard to unfasten her legs. He helped her sit up then pulled her into his lap. They stared into each other's eyes, "there was no doubt in my mind that you would find me cowboy."

Matt smiled, "is that a fact?"

She nodded, "that's a fact!"

He pulled her into a passionate kiss as Festus and Frank carried Jean Paul to the waiting coach as he struggled to catch his breath. He ran his fingers through her hair, "come on, I'm taking you home."

She smiled as she ran her fingers down his face, "that sounds so good." Kitty changed into another outfit as Matt packed her remaining items into the valise. As they turned to leave the room, Matt ran his arm around her waist and she looked up at him and smiled. "It's good to be in your arms again Matt." He smiled as he closed the door behind them.

In the quiet of the evening, Matt gently massaged Kitty's shoulders occasionally moving her hair to the side to kiss her neck. "I think you've outdone yourself tonight cowboy. I am completely and utterly satisfied."

"Oh?" He pulled her down on the bed as she giggled. "I love you Kitty."

She ran her fingers through his hair, "oh Matt, I love you so much."

He lay back on the bed and she snuggled under his chin. He stroked her arm, "are you sure he didn't do anything to you?"

She played with the wisps of hair on his chest, "Matt, I told you he had this perfectly planned night in Paris when he would take us to new heights of ecstasy."

"But he didn't touch you any other time?"

She waved her hand, "an occasional kiss or touch but on the whole the perfect gentleman."

Matt snickered, "gentleman…he's a murderer Kitty and he tried to kill me!"

Kitty sat up, "what?"

Matt nodded, "I saw his picture in the paper when he accepted the Man of the Year award. He was the person I followed into the alley. I don't have any proof but knowing how he wanted you I'd bet we're going to find out he was the one who shot me."

She hugged him tight, "oh, Matt."

"Anyway, we'll be on our way after I talk to Captain McCarthy. Hopefully they were able to get him to confess." Kitty became silent and Matt bent his neck to look at her, "are you falling asleep?"

She shook her head, "no, just thinking."

He raised her head with his fingers, "about what?"

"How good it will be to see the children and be back in our own bed again. I can hardly wait to put this nightmare behind us."

He hugged her, "I won't argue with that."

Her hand glided along his chest, "you know this is probably the last time we'll be alone for awhile."

Matt thought a moment, "oh, I don't know about that. The children have been good in allowing us our time together."

"That's true but I find that I'm somewhat restrained at home. It wouldn't be proper for them to hear their mother in the throes of passion."

Matt chuckled, "oh, was that what those sounds were?"

She hit his chest, "never mind."

"Come to think of it I just hope the other guests at the hotel didn't complain to the management." He tried to hide his amusement.

She sat up, "oh, you think you're so funny."

He pushed her back on the bed and kissed her neck, "I am aren't I?" He lightly ran his fingers around the taut rise on her chest. "Let's just see how good I am this time."

"Oh…Matt!"

A few days later, Matt helped Kitty down from the coach at the train depot. They had extended their stay to be there when Garth buried Emma. They silently walked toward the track and waited for the train. Garth turned to them, "I do want to thank you for staying a couple of days to be there for Emma."

Kitty rubbed his arm, "Garth, I am so sorry."

He nodded, "I'm just glad that he didn't get you too Kitty." He shook his head, "I wish my Emma was strong like you. It might have saved her life."

"Well, I had years of practice in dealing with men." She looked up at Matt as he pulled her close and smiled.

"It's still nice to know that she didn't leave me for him, at least I have that."

Matt looked down at Kitty, "he was a man who took what he wanted that's for certain." He looked back at Garth, "from what he told the police Emma's death was an accident. She was getting hysterical, he slapped her, and she hit her head on the iron railing in front of the fireplace."

Garth looked distressed, "I should have been there to protect her."

Matt shook his head, "don't blame yourself, sometimes you just can't."

"Matt is right Garth. As much as you want to protect the one you love it doesn't always work out that way."

A train whistle blew in the distance to interrupt their conversation. The three friends turned to watch as the train pulled into the station. They walked over to the stairs, "Garth, I don't want you to be a stranger. We have plenty of room in New Orleans and I want you to visit us often…you hear?"

He hugged Kitty, "I promise."

Matt extended his hand to Garth, "Kitty is right Garth and it would give me a chance to return your fine hospitality."

He shook Matt's hand, "not too much to keep me here now. I just might mosey down your way to see if New Orleans needs a damn good hotel manager."

Kitty gave him a kiss on the cheek, "we'll put the word out."

He smiled, "then I can't lose." Matt helped Kitty up the stairs of the train and Garth watched as they made their way to their seats. He stayed until the train pulled out of the station waving to his good friends as they passed.

They were about thirty minutes outside of the city and Kitty was resting comfortably on Matt's shoulder. "I wonder how Frank and Festus did bringing Jean Paul back to New Orleans."

He pulled her close, "they are two fine lawmen, I suspect Mr. Beaumont didn't give them much trouble."

She looked up at Matt, "what do you think will happen to him?"

Matt shrugged, "I'm not sure how Louisiana punishes murderers but I'll say he'll be jailed for at least the rest of his life."

"Matt, he is insane."

"He would have to be Kitty." He took a deep breath, "I'm sure he'll be punished for what he has done." He looked down at Kitty, "could we talk about something else?"

She smiled, "I can hardly wait to see the children. How are they Matt?"

"They were fine when I left and in her telegrams Maggie said they've been perfect angels since we've been away."

Kitty laughed. "Oh, I find that so hard to believe. I'm sure Katie has stirred up some trouble with Matthew along the way."

Matt chuckled, "she does like to dig her spurs into him, doesn't she?"

"Well, she is teaching him how to deal with women."

Matt rolled his eyes, "Kitty, our children are only in their teens. I think there is plenty of time for them to learn about dealing with the opposite sex."

She stared at him, "oh good Lord Matt! I hope our son will not drag his feet like you when it comes to women."

He kissed her, "be that as it may I think everything worked out very well considering." He ran his fingers down her face, "we have a beautiful family Kitty and a wonderful life and I owe that all to you."

She smiled, "you're welcome." She lay her head down on his shoulder again. "I don't know where the years go. It seems like only yesterday we were feeding them and watching them sleep in their cribs."

He whispered in her ear, "I especially loved watching the feeding."

She shot him a look, "you would!" She took a deep breath, "we're getting older Matt, and our children are almost adults." She shook her head, "they'll be married and having children of their own soon."

Matt shook his head, "uh…uh…not my daughter. No man is touching her."

Kitty began to laugh, "I don't think you'll have much to say about it."

"Then I'll just have to let a sawed off shotgun do my talking for me."

"Well, it's nice to see that our daughter is destined for a long and lonely life."

Matt shook his head, "no, once I'm in the ground she can do whatever she wants."

"And you have no restrictions on your sons?"

Matt shook his head, "men are supposed to sow their wild oats."

Kitty placed her hand on her hip, "so when is your new etiquette book being published?"

Matt made a face, "you know what I mean."

"You would think after all these years I would have taught you something!"

He pulled her close, "the things you have taught me can't be discussed in public."

She stared at him, "oh, is that so?" He nodded, "then I expect to be fully briefed when we get home." He pursed his lips and looked straight ahead as he became silent, "is there something wrong Matt?"

He shook his head, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a set of handcuffs. He dangled them in front of her, "no, I'm just preparing my briefing material."

Kitty laughed and wrapped her arms around Matt and kissed him, "oh, yes, I can hardly wait until we get home!"


	47. Our Love Stands The Test of Time

**_Seven Years Later….._**

It was an unseasonably warm June night and the party in _**Russell's **_was in full swing. The restaurant was closed for the evening to celebrate the recent addition to the police force in New Orleans, Matthew Dillon. Wading through the crowd of family, friends, and police officers, Matt walked over to the bar. Frank noticed him approaching and poured him a drink, "this is some party Matt."

Matt smiled, "well, you know how much Kitty loves to throw parties."

Frank raised his glass, "to another lawman in the family, may he be half as good as his old man."

Matt touched Frank's glass, "may he be better."

Both men threw the drink down and Frank leaned on the bar, "I was afraid to ask Kitty how she felt about Matthew choosing this line of work."

Matt chuckled, "she'll worry night and day but I know she is proud of him."

Frank smiled as he poured Matt another drink, "I know your son was pretty impressed with how you tracked down that Beaumont character and found Kitty."

Matt leaned into Frank, "I got real lucky on that one Frank."

Frank nodded, "sometimes that's all it takes."

As she made her way across the room, Kitty noticed John standing off by himself. She continued in his direction. "Enjoying the party John?"

John nodded, "very much so." He turned to Kitty and smiled, "my how beautiful you look tonight Kitty. I don't think I've ever seen you look lovelier."

She smiled, "well, thank you John."

He looked out over the room, "you still know how to throw the best party in town, there's no denying that."

Kitty smiled, "this one is pretty special." She looked over at Matthew, "doesn't he look so handsome in his uniform?"

John nodded, "he certainly does." He shook his head, "it seems like only yesterday we were taking him to his first day at school."

Kitty smiled as she remembered, then she turned to John. "I will never forget what you did for all of us John. You are just as responsible for Matthew being the man he is today as any of us."

John shook his head, "no, Kitty girl, he is Matt through and through." He paused, "but I will admit one thing…those years were truly the best of my life."

Kitty smiled as her eyes welled with tears, "oh John…"

"Now, now," John took a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed at her eyes, "no need for tears." He stared into her eyes, "I will never regret loving you." He quickly looked down as he cleared his throat, "so, you and Matt are having some kind of recommitment ceremony?"

She nodded, "this year is our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary so I thought it might be nice."

John shook his head, "it's been that long? It seems like only yesterday you were the most beautiful pregnant bride I ever did see."

Kitty chuckled, "I was as big as a house…wasn't I?"

John nodded, "and then some!"

Kitty hit his arm, "John!"

John laughed, "I was just agreeing with you Kitty."

She held his arm, "you took such good care of me then."

He wrapped his hand over hers, "you gave me so much more than I ever gave you."

She stared into his eyes, "that's not how I remember it."

John smiled, "then you'll have to take my word for it."

Kitty gave him a kiss on the cheek, "thank you for being the kind, loving, wonderful man you are."

John swallowed hard trying not to let his emotions show, "if I am, then it's because of you."

She smiled, "well now, I guess I better go mingle with the other guests." She took his arm again, "I'm so glad you decided to come, John."

He patted her hand, "I wouldn't have missed it."

"I'll see you later." John nodded as he watched Kitty walk into the next room.

Matt noticed Kitty leave John as Frank came back to his side of the bar. "I wonder what that exchange was all about."

Matt took a sip of his drink as he studied John, "you know something Frank, if I had embraced fatherhood as well as John did…well…let's just say I owe him a great deal." Matt turned his head toward Frank, "he did what needed to be done while I was away and that's something I can't deny." He took another sip of his drink, "I just wish he and Kitty hadn't…," he paused, "well, I can't fault him for falling in love with her."

Frank stared at Matt, "what brought this on?"

Matt shook his head, "watching them together made me realize what a lucky man I truly am." Matt turned his head toward Frank, "she could just as easily be going home with him tonight."

Frank furrowed his brow, "you can't possibly believe that…can you Matt?"

He placed the glass down so Frank could refill it. "After I left her standing in Dodge I had no right to expect that she would still be waiting." He took a sip of his drink, "it would have served me right if she had moved on."

"Is that why you agreed to this vow repeating thing?"

Matt nodded, "it's important to Kitty, Frank. I want her to know how much I love and cherish her." He paused, "after all I've put her through she deserves to hear me say it again." Matt chuckled, "even though public speaking is not my strong suit!"

Frank hit Matt's arm, "I don't know, you said some real nice words at my and Maria's wedding."

Matt smiled, "we had quite a time, didn't we?"

Frank pointed a finger at Matt, "I could have sworn that you were going to ask Kitty to marry you that night."

Matt nodded, "I should have." He pointed his finger toward Frank. "You were the smart one Frank. You went after what you wanted and didn't give the badge a second thought."

Frank leaned closer to Matt, "then again I didn't have the reputation that you had. I might not have been itching to give it all up if I had."

Matt chuckled, "you keep forgetting I remember how it was with you and Maria. You were head over heels in love with her." Matt took a sip of his drink and raised his brow, "and I can't say I blame you."

Frank looked down as he remembered, "never wanted any woman more and don't think I ever will again."

Matt nodded as he noticed Kitty talking to a group of people, "I know what you mean Frank."

Matthew was on his way over to speak with his father when he noticed John standing alone in deep thought. He stood in front of him and extended his hand, "I'm so glad that you were able to come tonight Uncle John."

John looked up and shook Matthew's hand, "congratulations Matthew, you're going to make a fine officer."

Matthew smiled, "well, between you and my Dad how could I miss."

John smiled as he tried to control his emotion, "that's very nice of you to say Matthew."

"Well, I mean it Uncle John. You helped me through a lot when I was a kid and that is something I will never forget."

John smiled, "to hear you say that means everything to me."

Matthew reached over and hugged John. "Well, Ma said I have to keep moving and talk to everyone but I just wanted to stop and say thanks."

He patted Matthew's shoulder, "you're very welcome Matthew." He turned away from John then abruptly turned back to him, "oh, I almost forgot." Matthew reached into his pocket, "thanks for the loan of the coin. It was real comforting at times."

John shook his head, "you keep it Matthew and give it to your son."

Matthew smiled and placed the coin back in his pocket, "I'll do that Uncle John."

Matt observed the dizzying array of conversations from his vantage point at the end of the bar. He wasn't sure how many drinks he had but he was positive they were starting to have an effect. As he reached behind the bar to pour a glass of water, he felt a hand on his shoulder, "Matt, I want you to know how very happy I am that Matthew decided to join the force. He's a fine young man."

Matt smiled and extended his hand, "thanks Eric." Matt pointed toward the bar. "Care for a drink?"

Eric waved his hand, "no, I think I've had enough."

Matt smiled and showed Eric his glass, "I know what you mean."

Eric looked over the room. "Time flies, doesn't it Matt?"

Matt nodded, "that it does." He took a sip of water, "I want to thank you for bending the rules a little and letting Matthew use my gun."

Eric smiled, "that pistol certainly served you well so why shouldn't he use it."

Matt smiled, "well...thanks just the same."

Eric nodded as Matthew approached the bar. "I hope you're enjoying the party Captain Fournier."

Eric stopped leaning on the bar, "I am, immensely. Your mother still knows how to throw the best party in town."

Matthew nodded, "she's had years of practice sir."

"That's very true." He hit Matthew on the arm, "well, I best be getting home. See you bright and early on Monday…Officer Dillon."

Matthew smiled, "sure will sir. Good night."

Eric nodded, "good night gentlemen."

Matt watched Eric walk across the room then he looked at his son. "Having fun tonight?"

Matthew leaned in toward Matt, "I don't know how Ma manages so many people."

Matt chuckled as he raised his brow, "neither do I." He took a sip of water as he noticed a few young women staring in his son's direction. "You know Matthew that uniform of yours is going to attract a crowd."

Matthew looked puzzled, "huh?"

Matt leaned closer, "don't look now but there are a few attractive young ladies that have their eye on you."

Matthew waved his hand in dismissal, "I got plenty of time for that. I just want to concentrate on my job for now."

Matt grinned, "I remember another young man who felt the same way once. He was so hell bent on doing the job that he almost missed out on what was most important in life."

Matthew placed his hand on Matt's shoulder, "Dad, the difference between me and that young man you talk about is my mentor won't let me be that foolish."

Matt smiled, "damn right he won't." He chuckled, "smart and handsome, you've got a step up on your old man all right."

"Oh, I don't know, Ma always says that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I have to agree with her."

Matt took another sip of water, "you better. Your mother is the smartest woman I have ever known."

"And my father is the bravest man that ever lived."

Matt slowly shook his head as he pursed his lips, "I was just trying to stay alive." Matt grinned. "If I didn't your mother would have killed me!"

Matthew laughed, "I would have given anything to see you both back then."

Matt laughed. "We were something all right. I'm sure your Uncle Festus has regaled you with a story or two."

Matthew nodded, "definitely more than two." He looked out at the room, "ah, Ma said that…"

Matt put his hand up, "you have to be a gracious host…I know. We'll talk later son."

"You betcha Dad." Matt smiled as he watched Matthew wade into the crowd as the young women tried to strategically position themselves for him to take notice.

Kitty locked the front door behind the last partygoer and rejoined Matt back at the table. She sighed as she sat down, "I think I'm getting too old for this Matt."

He smiled, "throwing elaborate parties or just the restaurant in general?"

She smiled, "both!"

She started to massage the back of her neck. Matt stood, "you know what will make that neck feel better?" She looked up at him as he extended his hand for her to take, "a nice massage."

She smiled as she took his hand and stood, "it was nice of Frank to let us have his room upstairs for the night."

He pulled her close, "I think he knew we might enjoy a night alone."

She grinned. "You didn't by any chance put that thought in his head?"

He kissed her then took her by the waist, "come on Mrs. Dillon the evening awaits us."

At the top of the staircase Matt unlocked the door and stepped aside for Kitty to enter first. She stopped in the middle of the room and looked around as Matt locked the door. She sighed as Matt came up behind her. "What memories this room holds." She pointed, "I still don't know how Matthew and Katie slept so soundly during that raucous New Year's Eve party." She shook her head, "how they slept through all that noise I'll never know!"

Matt put his arms around her waist, "I know…they take after their mother." He kissed her neck, "now, there's another room I'd like to reacquaint you with."

She turned to him and smiled, "oh, and what room might that be?"

He placed his arm around her waist as he smiled, "let me show you Mrs. Dillon."

When they entered the room Kitty smiled, "Matt, we don't have anything to wear to bed."

He began to undo the back of her dress, "I wouldn't worry about clothes this evening."

He continued to undress her planting gentle kisses on the skin left bare. He then took her by the hand and led her to bed. She helped him disrobe then threw back the spread and they slowly climbed onto the mattress. Kitty ran her hand down his face, "we had some memory making nights in this bed."

He smiled as he ran his hand down her body, "let's see if we can make some more."

With the glow of passion's moment waning, Kitty snuggled under Matt's chin and he gently ran his fingertips up and down her arm. After some time Kitty raised her head to see Matt staring at the ceiling. "Is there something on your mind cowboy? You've been pretty quiet."

Matt looked at her, "lying here with you does bring back a lot of memories…some I'd rather forget."

Kitty looked puzzled as she lay her head back down on his shoulder, "what do you mean?"

He took a deep breath, "I had such a good life here Kitty and I walked out on you and the children. Watching you and John tonight made me realize even more what a fool I was. I keep thinking that John would have been the only father my children would have known and that wasn't right." Matt raised his hand, "I'm not saying that he is not a good man Kitty just that I should have been here to do the things that a father is supposed to do." He paused for a moment, "and the other thing is…well…"

She lifted her head, "well what?"

He stared into her eyes, "well, you wouldn't have," he ran his fingers through her hair, "had the chance to fall in love with him."

"Matt…"

He quickly interrupted, "now Kitty I was watching you and him tonight and you got upset about something. A woman doesn't get that upset unless they are remembering something pretty special…and the way he dried your eyes…it just got me to thinking that's all."

"Matt I…"

He covered her lips with his fingers, "I was the fool Kitty. I should have never left you alone."

She sat up, "Matthew Dillon are you going to let me talk? For one minute stop regretting something you can't change and listen to me!"

He smiled, "yes ma'am."

"Matt I have loved you unconditionally from the first time I laid eyes on you and, even though I have suffered many disappointing moments because of it, don't ever believe that I could easily replace you or fall in love again because that is simply not true. No man could ever make me feel the way you do and, to John's credit, he was well aware of that. Matt, I will always be grateful to John for being there for me and the children and, I'll admit, we shared special moments and nights together but they pale in comparison to what I have with you. I could string a lifetime of moments with John together and they could never equal one night in your arms." She ran her hand down his chest, "believe that Matt."

He ran his hand down her body, "I know that's true Kitty, believe me I do, but it shouldn't have come to that."

"But it did." She kissed him, "Matt, I want you to get this crazy notion out of your head that I may be having second thoughts about John." She ran her hand up and down his chest, "if you must know we were talking about taking Matthew to his first day of school and…"

Matt pulled her close and kissed her, "I don't know what I'd do without you Kitty."

She smiled, "good thing you're never going to have to find out." She snuggled under his chin, "the only thing that matters is that you're home and we're together."

He hugged her tight, "and home is where I'm going to stay." She smiled as she kissed his chest and he kissed the top of her head, "it looked like everyone had a good time tonight."

"I hope so."

He put his fingers under her chin and raised her head, "are you really all right that Matthew chose to be a police officer?"

Kitty shrugged, "what can I say about it? As much as I like to think of him as my little boy he is a grown man." She took a deep breath, "besides it didn't come as much of a surprise."

"Oh?"

"I hope this shows you the kind of impact you've had on his life. So I wouldn't worry about not being there for him in the earlier years."

He ran his hand up and down her back, "you mean to tell me you're not at all concerned?"

She nodded, "oh, I'll be worrying all the time but the big difference is you'll be right alongside me worrying just as much."

Matt chuckled, "that's true enough."

Kitty smiled, "besides he is part of a police force not one man trying to tame a town on his own."

He ran his fingers through her hair, "you have a point there Kitty." He thought a moment. "Say, did you happen to notice that a few of the young women at the party were quite enamored with our son?"

She looked at Matt astonished, "and you're surprised by that?"

"Well, no," he chuckled, "it's just that he seems oblivious to the attention."

Kitty chuckled, "and you're surprised by that?"

"Well, yeah, a little."

Kitty shook her head, "you had a little of that in you too when you were younger."

Matt grinned. "It might have looked that way but I always knew what time of day it was when it came to dealing with women."

Kitty shook her head, "uh…uh…not how I remember it."

He pulled her close, "and how do you remember it?"

Kitty rolled her eyes, "do we need to wager a barrel of whiskey Matt?"

Matt waved his hand in dismissal, "oh, one time!"

Kitty chuckled, "one time?" She placed her finger against her lips, "hmm…let's see besides Dolly there was Rena Decker," she shook her head, "four men dead. Then there was the woman who thought she was coming to Dodge to be your woman," she snapped her fingers, "what was her name…oh, um, Rose," she paused a moment, "then there was Cara, and…"

Matt placed his hand over her lips as he let out with an exasperated breath, "I get the point."

Kitty smiled as she ran her fingers through his hair, "I have to admit you did improve with age."

Matt smiled, "once I learned to listen to you it was easy." He kissed her, "by the way, I heard from Captain McCarthy the other day."

"Oh? I hope he isn't looking for you to help him with some case of his." She kissed his neck, "you know that's the problem with you Matt Dillon, you're just too damn good!"

Matt chuckled, "I'll take the praise but, no, that's not what he wanted."

"Then why?"

"Well, he wanted me to know that someone on the force married Abigail Morrison. It seems the officer was pretty taken by her when she came in for questioning and although it took him a long while to convince her she finally gave in."

Kitty raised her head, "and why would the good Captain think that was important for you to know?"

"Well, I did have to lie to her about you and Jean Paul to get her to talk." Matt shook his head, "Kitty you should have seen how afraid she was of losing him and, for a while there, it didn't look like she was going to tell me anything." He took a deep breath, "When we returned to the hotel, I noticed her waiting for me in the lobby. The look on her face when she saw the two of us together…well…I felt bad for the woman Kitty. I'm glad to hear that she finally had some happiness in her life." He paused a moment before he let out with a low whistle accompanied by a sly grin, "she was really a beautiful woman. I'm surprised I kept my wits about me!" Kitty punched him in the gut, "Oww, what's that for?"

She placed her hand on her hip, "as if you don't know! Tell me Matt what if she didn't tell you where we were how far were you willing to go to get the information out of her?"

Matt pulled Kitty to him, "I would have done anything she wanted to find you Kitty…anything."

She grinned. "Well…lucky for me it didn't get that far!" She thought a moment, "you know, after Jean Paul I'm not sure there would have been too much you could have shown her!"

Matt looked perplexed, "what are you saying that I'm an old dog that couldn't learn new tricks?"

She ran her hand down his face and with a seductive grin she continued. "No, I know you learn _very _quickly. I'm just saying that she was use to a much younger man." Matt furrowed his brow in thought as Kitty raised her hand in dismissal, "anyway, that's all behind us now." A small grin creased her face as she studied Matt's. "That is unless you're still fantasizing about a night in the arms of a lovely young thing."

He grinned as he closed his eyes, "hmm…," she hit him in the gut again and he opened his eyes, "Oww…careful…you're breaking my concentration."

"I'll break more than that Matt Dillon!"

He slowly lowered her back to the mattress, "Kitty, no woman in the world can compare to you no matter how beautiful or young they are. You are the only woman I've ever wanted."

She smiled as she stroked his face, "I know that Matt."

He began to tickle her, "oh, you do, do you?"

She laughed as she tried to move away from his hold, "Matt…stop…come on now…stop!"

He ran his fingers through her hair, "maybe what I need to do is show you what this old timer can do." She smiled as his lips gently caressed her breast and his hand slowly ran down her body and nestled between her legs.

The day before the ceremony Matt made his way up the slight incline towards Doc's grave. He sat on the stone bench and stared at the tombstone of his old friend. He often wondered what Doc must have thought about him when he found out that Matt had left his family and there were days he wished Doc was still alive so he could explain why. The thought that Doc went to his grave thinking that Matt was as cold and heartless as many of the men he brought to justice didn't sit well but there was not much he could do about it. He looked out over the cemetery for a moment then looked back at the grave. "We're going to be saying our vows again tomorrow." He chuckled, "twenty-five years…can you believe it Doc?" Matt shook his head, "our children are all grown and I know you and Maggie helped a lot in their upbringing. I wish you were here so I could tell you how much I'm obliged to you. I finally became the man that Kitty deserves and the funny thing is I'm not even sure what it was I was running from. I am the luckiest man in the world that Kitty still loves me Doc and the years since my coming home have been our best." He paused a moment, "I wish you were here to see the good times between Kitty and me because I think you'd be very happy. I sure do miss you around here you old turkey buzzard." Matt smiled remembering old times as he stood. "See you later Doc." He took one last look then made his way back home.

The next day Matt walked down from Maggie's and entered the house as Katie was descending the stairs to check on the backyard arrangements. She smiled when she saw her father. "My, don't you look handsome Daddy."

Matt straightened his jacket, "I thought I always looked handsome."

Katie grabbed his arm, "well then you're exceptionally handsome today. Come on I need to check on the set up of the backyard." Father and daughter reached the back of the house. Matt glanced over the yard and thought back to his wedding day. Katie eyed her father, "something wrong Daddy?"

Matt shook his head, "no, I'm just recalling."

Katie allowed him a few moments for memories then she turned to him, "are you going to say something to Mom today?"

"Honey, I'm a man of action not words." Katie gave him a disbelieving look, "look, I spoke to your mother about this and she is fine with it. She knew I would find it hard expressing my feelings publically."

Katie rolled her eyes, "you were certainly the catch!" Matt turned to her with furrowed brow, "well…have you at least planned some place special for you and Mom to go?"

Matt looked puzzled, "what do you mean?"

Katie put her hand on her hip, "where are you taking Mom on her honeymoon?"

Matt shrugged, "I have a reservation at the Chateau Hotel for tonight. I thought it might be nice to spend it in the same hotel that we did when we were first married."

Katie shook her head slowly, "Daddy, I think Mom deserves something more than a room for the night."

"Oh? And what do you suggest wedding planner?"

Katie rolled her eyes again, "you need to make a real romantic gesture. Take her to a place where Mom has always wanted to go but didn't because of you. I'm sure she has discussed her dreams with you over the years." Matt thought a moment, "Daddy, we are all grown now and I know enough about the restaurant to run it for however long you and Mom want to be away. There really is no reason you need to be here."

Matt looked at Katie then hugged her, "sometimes you're too smart for your own good, you know that?"

Katie looked up at Matt, "look who I have as parents, is it any wonder?"

Matt kissed her forehead, "you make a father proud Katie."

She smiled, "thanks Daddy. I better get going and make sure everything is perfect for your ceremony today." Matt smiled as he watched his daughter organize the yard and his eyes welled with tears.

Later that afternoon, the guests were filing into the backyard and taking their seats. It was a cloudless day with a soft cooling breeze, very similar to their wedding day. Matt and his sons were standing waiting for the women to walk down the path as the Mayor took his place to preside over the ceremony. The music began to play as Katie slowly made her way toward her father and brothers. She wore a floral print scoop neck dress, pearl necklace, and her strawberry blonde hair flowing loosely down her back. She smiled over at the men and took her place across from them. Matt returned her smile then looked toward the back of the house. Kitty emerged from the shadows with Festus and Frank on either side of her. She wore a pastel green off the shoulder dress, pearl necklace, and a slightly adorned veiled hat atop an upsweep of hair. After a quick handshake with Festus and Frank he took Kitty by the hand and they stood before the Mayor. "We have gathered here today to witness Matt and Kitty Dillon make a recommitment of love to one another. Now before we get to the reciting of the vows Kitty would like to say a few words.

She turned to Matt and smiled, "Matt, I have loved you from the first moment I saw you that morning in Delmonico's. When I made my way to the stage I knew I would be a fool if I stepped one foot on it so I stayed. You'll never know how many nights I lied awake dreaming of our life together even though I knew you had no interest in a wife or a family. There was something good and decent about you and I had made my mind up that having you in my life meant more to me than marriage or children ever could. Now, I'm not going to say that being with you was easy or that, at times, I hadn't wanted marriage and children but when we were together I forgot all my dreams and accepted our reality. I will never regret loving you and even though many of our years together have been long and rocky I wouldn't have changed one thing." She smiled, "you are my life and I couldn't live without you." She cupped his face with her hands as her eyes welled with tears, "I love you Matt and will until the day I die." He pulled her in his arms and kissed her.

The Mayor smiled, "uh…Matt…that comes later." The guests chuckled and Matt released her somewhat embarrassed. He then gently touched her face. The Mayor cleared his throat, "well then, now is the time we will recite the vows."

Matt continued to run his fingers down Kitty's face, "I'd like to say something Mayor."

The Mayor extended his arm, "please, go ahead."

Matt swallowed hard, "Kitty, you know I'm not very good with words especially those that deal with the feelings I have. I've done that to you too many times over the years thinking that my actions would be all you need. I didn't even want to say something today feeling that the words would come out wrong and I'd make a fool of myself." He shook his head, "can you imagine that, even after all this time?" He paused a moment as his eyes took in his beautiful wife. "I was so wrong about everything Kitty. I was wrong about the job and letting it deprive us of a proper life together. I was wrong about marriage and children because my life couldn't be any better than it is now. I listened to well intentioned men that were afraid to truly experience the love of a woman by hiding behind the badge and denying them the only thing in life that has any meaning. I am so very thankful that you were carrying our child and stopped me from becoming an even bigger fool then them." He kissed her hands, "I'll never be able to erase all the hurt I've caused you for so many years I can only promise that, for whatever life I have left, you will always know how much I love you. Honey, I wouldn't be standing here today if it wasn't for you and I will spend the rest of my life reminding you how much you mean to me." Tears were streaming down Kitty's face and Matt gently wiped them away. "I guess that's all I have to say."

She wrapped her hands around his neck, "oh Matt." He bent down to kiss her as he placed his hands on her waist. Kitty smiled, "we better get on with the ceremony before I become a blubbery mess." They turned to the Mayor and continued.

After the ceremony they were surrounded by their guests offering their congratulations. Katie walked over to her father and hugged him, "you did great Daddy." She looked up at him, "I take it back, you are quite the catch!"

Matt laughed, "I owe it all to you, young lady. You get your old dad thinking sometimes."

Katie smiled, "that's what I'm here for."

Matt hugged her, "and I'm so grateful that you are."

Katie looked up at him, "oh, Daddy, I better get out of here before I start crying." She kissed him on the cheek and dashed off into the crowd.

The guests slowly headed for the Bourbon House as Matt and Kitty watched them leave. When the yard was empty they walked into the house as Matt smiled and pulled Kitty toward him, "words cannot describe how you looked today Kitty." He looked down at her cleavage, "I almost couldn't concentrate."

Kitty grinned, "I thought you might like this dress."

Matt nodded, "I like it fine. Say, do we really have to get to the restaurant?"

Kitty pushed him a bit, "Matt…we'll have plenty of time later for what you have in mind. Right now we need to leave."

He put his hands up, "you're right, as usual."

She placed her hands on his chest, "I think this dress will keep your amorous intentions alive."

He bent down and gently kissed her bare shoulder, "the whole night!"

She lightly tapped his face, "good, now let's go and enjoy the party with our family and friends."

Matt extended his arm, "after you Mrs. Dillon." Kitty laughed as they left the house.

The party had been going on for hours and everyone was in a very festive mood. After dinner Frank rose, striking his fork against the glass to get everyone's attention. "If I could I would like to have just a moment to say a few words." The crowd quieted, "I've known Matt Dillon for more years than either he or I would care to admit. The one thing that has defined Matt throughout most of those years is that he was the best lawman the west had ever seen but when it came to women…well…he was still the best lawman the west had ever seen!" Everyone laughed and Frank raised his hands to quiet the crowd. "Then Kitty Russell entered his life and everything his mentors taught him about staying away from long term relationships were forgotten. The way I see it, Matt had two choices. One was to walk away from a job, that not many men could have done as well, or continue to wear the badge. To Kitty's credit she stayed and allowed him the freedom to do the job that he was born to do. Now that's not to say that he didn't love her with all his heart, because he did, but I think they both knew a lot of people would have been killed if he had left." Matt reached out for Kitty's hand and held it. "I'll tell you another thing, if it wasn't for Kitty Matt wouldn't be sitting here today, and Matt was right about that." Frank chuckled, "I have to admit when I was told that Matt had a family here in New Orleans I thought someone was playing a joke on me." Frank shook his head, "Matt with children and living in a big city?" He placed his hand on Matt's shoulder, "now...being a man of curious nature I had to find out if that was true so I left the wilds of Montana and never went back…thank you old buddy for saving me from a life of solitude!" Matt nodded and smiled. "When you think about it they've been together almost fifty years," Frank whistled as he looked at Matt, "now I'm going to give Matt a little credit here too. He had the good sense to hold on to Kitty and not let her go."

Matt yelled. "That's not true Frank, Kitty deserves all the credit." Kitty smiled and ran her fingers through his hair.

Frank turned and pointed to Matt, "and you see humble too! Everyone laughed and Frank waited for the room to quiet. "I guess what I've been trying to say is that I've never seen two people more in love or meant to be together than my friends here tonight. They have a beautiful family and they love each other and no matter how rocky the road they always maintained that love. I'm real proud to call them my friends." Frank raised his glass, "to Matt and Kitty, congratulations on twenty five married years and my wish for another twenty five." Shouts of "here here" rang out throughout the room as they all took a sip of their drink. Matt turned to Kitty and their innocent peck turned into a more passionate kiss. Frank put his hand on Matt's shoulder, "maybe you should save a little of that for later tonight!"

Everyone laughed again as Matt turned to Frank a slight crimson color on his cheeks. "You were always the voice of reason Frank!" Matt stood and hugged his friend, "thanks for the kind words."

Frank smiled, "I was obliged to say something."

Kitty had made her way over to Frank and she hugged him too. "Thank you Frank. I'm so glad that you came back."

Frank smiled, "I am too." He turned to the rest of the guests, "it's time to celebrate!"

The music began playing and Frank turned to Matt. "Care if I dance with your wife?"

Matt smiled, "you earned it."

Matt stood watching the festivities as he sipped his drink and Frank and Kitty glided across the floor, "I didn't know you were such a good dancer Frank."

Frank smiled, "I was known to scuff up a few dance halls in my day."

Kitty smiled, "I will always be grateful for the time you spent with us. It was nice to have you there."

Frank smiled, "considering your good doctor was otherwise occupied."

Kitty shook her head, "those were pretty dark days but you being with us brightened them considerably."

Frank nodded, "I'm glad to hear that I was more than a nuisance."

Kitty waved her hand, "oh, Frank, you were delightful company."

They moved around the dance floor for a few moments, "After I left I thought about you and the children a lot. I felt I was letting you down not finding Matt and what it would mean if I never found him." They continued to dance in silence, "I was more than prepared to be a father to your children and a husband to you if Matt never came home." He shrugged, "I don't know why I felt the need to say that," he shrugged again, "maybe it's the liquor talking, I don't know."

She stared at him, "I had a feeling you would come back to New Orleans."

Frank smiled, "I was that obvious…huh?"

Kitty smiled, "let's just say you were enjoying playing father."

Frank nodded, "they're great kids Kitty." He paused, "well, that's all water under the bridge now."

Kitty smiled, "it's nice to know that you were willing to take on the responsibility of the Dillon children…and me. Thank you Frank."

Frank shook his head, "don't thank me, it would have been my pleasure."

The music stopped and as they returned to the table Kitty looked over at Frank, "I'm glad you decided to leave Montana for good."

Frank placed his hand around her waist, "I'm glad I did too!" Kitty walked over to Matt with Frank behind her, "Kitty is a real good dancer, second only to my Maria, you understand." The music started again, "why don't you take her out and see what I mean."

Matt made a face, "I'm a terrible dancer besides all eyes will be on us."

Kitty placed her hands on his chest, "I'll take care of the first person who snickers."

Frank smiled, "with a promise like that I can't see why you wouldn't give it a try."

Matt looked down into Kitty's pleading eyes, "all right but remember if your toes are all bruised you asked for it."

Kitty kissed him, "I'll risk it." Frank watched as they made their way to the dance floor. He smiled and shook his head at Matt's utter reluctance and Kitty's gentle persuasion.

They stared into each other's eyes as they slowly moved to the rhythm of the music. "I think you're doing very well cowboy."

Matt smiled, "as long as we keep it slow and steady I think I'll be all right."

Kitty smiled, "I promise not to make any sudden moves…uh…does this mean that the dip is out of the question?"

Matt laughed. "Look here gal, I didn't sign on for any adventurous dancing."

Kitty smiled, "as long as you leave the adventure for later on this evening I'll let you slide."

Matt looked around then grinned, "well, then, I better sit down and rest up. I didn't realize so much was expected of me." He paused, "you know I'm not as young as I used to be."

Kitty ran her fingers down the back of his hair, "you never disappoint me Matt Dillon."

Matt kissed her as the song ended, "thankfully, a reprieve."

Kitty swatted his chest, "oh you!"

"Excuse me Miss Kitty; would you do me the honor of having this next dance?" Sam looked over at Matt, "that's if it's all right with you Matt."

Matt placed Kitty's hand in Sam's, "she's all yours Sam but I have to warn you she has lots of energy."

Sam grinned, "you'll take it easy on me…won't you Miss Kitty?"

Kitty waved her hand, "oh, don't listen to him Sam."

Matt smiled as he returned to the table. He suspected that Kitty's dance card was filled and he was more than content watching his wife enjoying the evening. He picked up his drink when Festus came alongside him. "Matthew, it be a real nice party."

Matt nodded, "that it is Festus."

Festus pointed toward the dance floor, "I don't think Miss Kitty be off her feet fer one lil' old minute tonight."

Matt smiled, "she loves it."

Festus looked down trying to find the words to start the conversation, "uh, Matthew, ya got a minute ta talk?"

Matt turned to his friend, "sure, what is it Festus?"

Festus looked up, "watching ya and Miss Kitty taday got me ta thinkin'."

Matt smiled, "oh? Thinking on taking a bride Festus? I didn't even know you were seeing anyone."

Festus looked down, "well, no, I ain't been seein' no one."

Matt looked confused, "what then?"

Festus looked up, "I be thinkin' lot 'bout Belle."

"The woman in Fort Collins?"

Festus waved his hand, "oh, fiddle, she be wit' someone by now."

Matt took a sip of his drink, "you don't know that for sure."

Festus shook his head, "uh, she be wantin' someone like ya Matthew. She done tolt me that her ownself."

Matt eyed his friend then pointed toward the chairs, "come on now Festus let's sit and talk this over." The two men sat, "now, I know it has been a long time but women like Belle don't meet a lot of nice men, you know." Matt chuckled, "I would bet you and I are about the best men she had ever met."

Festus waved his hand, "ya sure be. She be pining over ya I suspect."

Matt placed his hand on Festus' shoulder, "but she liked you too didn't she?" Festus shrugged, "how do you know that she hasn't been pining over you since you left?"

Festus waved his hand. "Cause shemales don't be pining over scroungy old hill men when they can have a man like yer ownself."

Matt shook his head, "nah, Festus, I think when you came into Belle's life she forgot all about me." Matt paused, "didn't you spend a few months in town? I'm sure you were able to get to know each other."

Festus stared at Matt, "she be a lady Matthew, I done ferget 'bout her past."

Matt pointed at Festus, "didn't you also tell me that you told her you were going back to Fort Collins one day?"

Festus waved his hand, "ah, Matthew, I be feelin' all mushy inside…just wasn't thinkin' none too clearly."

"But what if Belle didn't realize that you were feeling mushy inside and believed you were going to return. Don't you think that you owe her a trip back?" Festus shrugged, "Festus, one thing I've learned about women is it's better to find out for sure then to assume you know what is true."

Festus nodded, "I'll doer Matthew."

Matt slapped his arm, "good."

"And ifn' she be wit' some fella then I be hightailin' it back here."

Matt snapped his fingers, "I just got a great idea. If Belle is agreeable why don't you bring her to New Orleans and settle here?"

Festus looked puzzled, "that won't bother yer none? I mean havin' Belle here wit' ya and Miss Kitty?"

Matt placed his hand on Festus' shoulder and smiled, "Festus, old friend, Belle can tell Kitty in person what a wonderful and faithful husband she has."

Festus waved his hand, "Matthew, Miss Kitty don't need no shemale tellin' her what she already knowd is the truth."

Matt chuckled, "I wasn't thinking about Miss Kitty Festus, I'd like to hear it myself!"

Festus stood and extended his hand, "thanks Matthew, I'll be back some kinda way."

Matt stood and shook his hand, "I hope you do old friend. I sure would miss you if you didn't."

Festus looked at the dance floor, "ifn' ya excuse me there Matthew, I got me a lot of hoopin' and hollarin' left ta do." Matt laughed as Festus made his way to the dance floor.

Matt made his way to the corner of the room sipping on his drink. As he watched the revelers he thought back to when he first came to Dodge City and how convinced he was that he would be dead within a couple of years. As Kitty danced in front of him he was again reminded how very wrong he was. He smiled as he watched her enjoy the evening and thought about his conversation with Katie. Deep in thought he didn't realize his daughter was approaching. "Daddy?" Matt turned, "what are you doing over here?"

He put his arm around Katie's shoulders and pulled her close, "I'm just observing."

"I hope you're enjoying your party."

Matt smiled, "more than you'll ever know."

Katie looked out at the dance floor, "Mom hasn't stopped for a minute…you did dance with her, didn't you Daddy?"

"Yes honey, I danced with her."

Katie looked up at her father and smiled, "just checking." She looked around the room, "isn't Matthew's friend Todd cute?"

Matt cleared his throat, "I'm not sure I want to get into this conversation."

Katie made a face, "oh Daddy, don't be silly. I'm old enough to go out on dates, you know."

Matt nodded, "but I don't have to like it."

A sly grin spread across Katie's face, "don't you want grandchildren?"

Matt ran his fingers through his hair, "well…now…uh…your brothers can handle that for the family."

With an innocent look Katie continued, "but what if I want to be a mother?"

Matt furrowed his brow, "well…then…oh…Katie do we have to discuss this?"

"Daddy it's only natural when a girl gets my age to want a husband and a family. I mean you and Mom…"

Matt quickly interrupted, "your Mom and I…well…it was a very different time."

Katie looked puzzled, "how?"

Matt took a deep breath, "well…um…we lived on our own…uh…in an uncivilized town and…uh…well…we only had each other. We were both on our own for a long time."

Katie shook her head, "I'm not sure that makes a difference."

Matt nodded, "well…I _know_ it makes a difference and that's all that matters."

Katie started to giggle, "Daddy, you are so funny."

Matt looked astonished, "and why am I funny?"

Katie tried to control her giggles, "because you are so worried about me and boys."

Matt looked at her, "that's because you are my little girl and I love you and want the best for you…always."

Katie smiled, "I know that Daddy and, just so you know, I'm really not interested in settling down right now. There's a lot I want to do and see before I think about marriage and children." She paused, "I guess you forgot who my mother is."

Matt took a deep breath in relief and nodded, "I know who your mother is."

"I just said he was cute…that's all." Katie noticed Todd walking over to talk with Matthew, "hmm…maybe he'll ask me to dance."

Matt watched his daughter head in the young men's direction as he mumbled shaking his head, "I know who your mother is all right."

"Whose mother?"

Matt turned to see a puzzled look on Kitty's face. He pulled her to him, "your daughter is going to be the death of me."

Kitty chuckled, "what did she do now?"

Matt shook his head, "I'll tell you later." He smiled, "having a good time?"

Kitty nodded, "uh huh…what about you?"

He kissed her, "the best." He looked out over the room, "I wish Doc could have been here today. He'd be as proud of our family as I am."

Kitty smiled, "oh, I think he knows."

Matt smiled then looked out over the room again, "is this party ever going to end?"

Kitty placed her hands on his chest, "I thought you were having a good time."

"Oh, I am, it's just that…well…isn't it about time we were alone?"

Kitty smiled, "that's true you have been through a lot today!"

He kissed her, "I hope you remember it."

She hugged him, "always." Kitty looked up at Matt, "why don't we try to sneak out of here."

"Is that the proper thing to do?"

Kitty smiled, "oh, I think everyone will understand."

Matt smiled, "lead the way Mrs. Dillon." They slowly made their way out the side door while their guests continued to dance the night away.


	48. Epilogue

The rising sun slowly stirred Matt the next morning. He looked down at his sleeping wife, nestled in his arms, as he gently ran his fingers along her back. She was still as beautiful as the first time he saw her and that image brought him back to first day they met. He was sitting outside of his office when he noticed her depart the stage and head for Delmonico's as he waited for Doc. It disappointed him that she didn't ask for her bags so he was certain Dodge was just a stopover. After awhile, with curiosity getting the better of him, he stood and walked toward the eatery. He sized up the room when he entered and strategically sat with the best view of her table. The waiter brought his usual breakfast when Doc entered chastising Matt for leaving without him. All through the meal he tried to disguise his interest with furtive glances but he was sure she had caught him on occasion. A part of him wanted to engage her in conversation but he knew it was futile since he was sure she would be gone right after her meal. There was no doubt he wanted her, from the first moment he saw her, but having nothing to offer he remained seated. Many of Doc's questions went unanswered that day as his thoughts kept returning to her. His trance was broken when Randy Tatum brought in a wounded man that he found on the trail and came looking for the Marshal. By the time Matt finished up at Doc's the stage was rumbling down Front Street. For some strange reason he felt unsettled as he made his way over to his office and that feeling continued throughout the day. When Doc shuffled in early that evening, offering to buy him a drink, he went along willingly thinking a few stiff ones might make the feeling disappear. Chester was already at the bar and he followed Matt and Doc to the table. "Ah, Mister Dillon haven't seen this place so lively since I don't know when."

Matt looked around, "I guess Bill won't be complaining much tonight."

"No sir, I don't think he will." One of the girls brought the drinks to the table and then Chester's mouth flew wide open. "Well, will ya look a here."

Matt rolled his eyes as he turned to look up the stairs and there she was. He could feel his mood improve considerably as she gave him a slight smile. To Doc, Chester's reaction was normal. Every pretty new girl who came to town he would fall head over heels in love but it was Matt's reaction that had him curious. "I hear that the Wade brothers are making their way to Kansas. Up around Topeka…burned out a whole town…came in the dead of night…a lot of innocent folks got killed." Matt nodded as he watched Kitty make her way to the bar. "Mean bunch I tell ya, why they could wipe out this town in a matter of hours from what I'm hearing." He nudged Matt, "did you just hear what I said Matt?"

Matt waved his hand, "uh, yeah Doc, something about Topeka."

Doc shook his head thinking he now had two fools sitting at the table with him when he noticed a wince come across Matt's face. He looked up at the bar and noticed a drunken cowboy grab Kitty and kiss her on the neck. As she tried to rebuff his further advances she felt his body being yanked away. "Looks to me like the lady doesn't enjoy you slobbering all over her, mister."

The cowboy looked at Kitty with disdain, "lady? She's workin' here ain't she?"

Matt pointed to a group of cowboys in the corner, "why don't you go join your friends."

The cowboy eyed Matt, "oh, I get it. You want her all fer yerself…hey Marshal?"

Matt furrowed his brow, "I said…go over and join your friends."

The cowboy raised his hands, "I'm going Marshal." He turned to move then turned back to Matt. "You let me know how she is…won't ya law!"

Enraged, Matt slammed his fist into the man's jaw and he went sprawling over the table behind him. Matt quickly drew his gun as he pointed to the group of men at the bar, "now get him out of here before he lands in jail."

The men quickly picked their friend up and dragged him down to the next bar. Matt holstered his gun as the noise in the bar began to rise. Kitty walked alongside him, "I suppose I should thank you."

Matt turned and looked into her eyes, "no need, this is just part of my job."

"I had him under control, you know." Kitty smiled, "but I do appreciate the gesture."

He could feel his face begin to flush as he tipped his hat and quickly left the bar. Doc watched Matt leave, wiped his hand over his moustache, then he turned to Chester, "by golly, I have to get to know that woman."

Chester nodded, "yeah." When he saw that Doc passed him he quickly jumped to his feet and followed.

From that day the four of them were inseparable as Matt wrestled with his feelings. He knew she didn't entertain men upstairs any longer but, unsure of how many men were in her past, he feared she may be disappointed if they entered into an intimate relationship. His former girlfriends weren't as independent or worldly as Kitty and this worried him. He had nothing to offer her, no marriage, no children, no future but he wanted her, like no woman he had ever wanted before. He resisted the urge to be with her for a couple of years but she was constantly in his thoughts and shortly after Cole Yankton's burial he decided to act. He had an upcoming trip to Elkader but when he returned he was going to surprise her with a picnic and a day of fishing. If all went well, he would arrive right before closing time and whisk her up to her room. When he returned from the trip he ran into Doc at the stable. After planning to go for breakfast early the next morning, Matt returned to his office and lay awake all night planning their day. He sat at breakfast happier then he had ever been before when Chester arrived to inform him that Kitty wasn't in her room. They found her out on the prairie after she accepted a moonlit ride from some Eastern dude on his way to Colorado. He couldn't understand how she could readily accept to go for a ride with a perfect stranger and wondered if his procrastination eliminated him as a possible suitor. He had a lot of time to think on the way back to Dodge and he began to have second thoughts. He didn't go to the Long Branch for a few days pondering whether it was wise to change their status from friends to lovers. He eventually decided it was up to Kitty but he had to give it a shot. Matt smiled when he remembered that night stroking her smooth skin, listening for her soft moans, and the feeling of oneness that he never felt before. Life did change for him that night and he was scared to death…but only for her. Kitty opened her eyes to see Matt staring at the ceiling and interrupted his thoughts by kissing his neck and running her hand down his body. "Good morning Matt, what has you so preoccupied this morning?"

He smiled as he kissed her, "you."

She smiled, "oh?"

"I was just thinking back to our first night together and how long it took us to get there."

She raised her head, "I kept wondering how you managed to have any woman in your life taking as long as you did."

He ran his hand down her face, "you were so special to me back then Kitty," he smiled, "and you still are."

Kitty smiled as she snuggled under Matt's chin, "it was well worth the wait."

He hugged her tight, "I know this is going to sound crazy but the fact that you weren't some country girl, well, I guess I was afraid that I wouldn't measure up."

Kitty chuckled, "oh, you more than measured up!"

Matt made a face, "you know what I mean."

Kitty sat up, "no man ever made love to me before you Matt. I never knew how it felt until that night."

"Not even Cole?"

Kitty smiled, "he was my first and when you're young…well…let's just say I didn't know a whole lot then."

He pulled her into a kiss then held her close, "speaking of men what were you and Frank discussing out on the dance floor?"

"I never realized that you watch me like a hawk."

He stroked her hair and smiled, "I always have!" He paused, "so…are you going to tell me?"

Kitty grinned. "He wanted me to know that if you didn't come home he was going to come back to New Orleans and take care of the children…and me."

Matt chuckled, "well, you certainly had your share of suitors lined up."

Kitty hit him in the gut, "Matt!"

"Oww," Matt smiled, "you have to admit you didn't lack of male attention while I was gone." He paused, "hmm…I wonder who you would have chosen." He thought a moment, "my money is on Frank." Kitty hit him again, "oww…take it easy gal I'm not as young as I used to be."

"And you won't be getting any older if you keep it up!"

Matt laughed, "I think we better change the subject." He raised his brow, "and fast!"

Kitty sighed as she lay back down on his shoulder, "it was a nice celebration today...don't you think?"

Matt continued to stroke her back, "that it was."

Kitty kissed his neck, "sometimes I have to pinch myself to make sure all of this is real." Matt pinched her, "oww..."

She looked up, as if Matt was crazy, then he smiled, "you can stop worrying now, it's real."

She snuggled closer as she grinned. "The boys were so handsome and Katie was absolutely stunning."

He kissed the top of her head, "like her mother."

Kitty smiled, "wasn't it nice of Matthew to go live with Maggie? She really needs someone in the house with her now that Claire and Garth are married." She raised her head, "he is so thoughtful."

Matt kissed her, "he's a fine young man but I'm very proud of all our children. As much as Katie drives me crazy at times she is an accomplished pianist with a degree in business. Joseph is in training to be on the force and Russell will be going to medical school." He chuckled as he looked at Kitty, "you sure they're mine?"

Kitty smiled, "I'll admit, it does seem odd, but they are yours."

Matt took a deep breath, "I don't know how I got so lucky."

Kitty stroked his chest for a moment, "I, ah, noticed that you and Festus were in deep discussion. What was that about?"

Matt chuckled, "it seems Festus is in love."

Kitty sat up, "what?"

Matt nodded, "yep."

Kitty looked puzzled, "I didn't know Festus was seeing anyone."

"Technically he's not he just got to thinking about Belle during our ceremony and thought he'd see if she was still in Fort Collins."

Kitty smiled, "Belle, the woman who tried desperately to get you to stay the night?"

Matt nodded, "that's the one." He paused, "I remember laying on the cold ground that night thinking what a fool I was refusing a nice soft mattress and a woman to attend to my needs." Matt quickly covered his gut but no blow came, "is there something wrong Kitty?"

She shook her head, "why didn't you Matt?"

He smiled, "I didn't want another woman Kitty. I felt I had lost you for good and there was nothing that Belle could have done that would ease that pain. So I headed out to the woods and drank some whiskey."

Kitty kissed him, "I love you Matt."

Matt smiled, "I love you." He kissed her, "I…ah…told Festus to bring Belle back here, if everything works out the way he's hoping it will."

Kitty smiled, "I hope he does."

Matt eyed Kitty, "and it's not going to bother you that this woman propositioned me?"

Kitty shook her head, "why should it?"

Matt furrowed his brow, "well…I mean…what if she still has designs on me."

Kitty began to laugh, "I'll help you fight her off."

Matt looked annoyed, "I'm serious now. It could cause a lot of trouble between us and also with Festus."

Kitty kissed his chest and smiled, "maybe you should have thought about that before you made such a magnanimous gesture."

He ran his fingers through his hair, "I guess I didn't think that one through."

Kitty chuckled, "no, I guess not."

They continued to lay in silence as they stroked each other's bodies. "You know our daughter said something to me yesterday that got me to thinking."

She rolled her eyes, "I can hardly wait to hear this!"

"Now Kitty, you'd be surprised how wise our daughter really is."

Kitty sat up, "oh, I'm more than interested now."

"Well, it got me to thinking about our life and that there weren't many times that we were able to live out your dreams."

She stroked his face, "oh Matt, I did live out my dream. We're married and we have four beautiful children. I couldn't ask for more in life."

He shook his head, "that's not what I mean Kitty. You had dreams in Dodge, places you wanted to go. I saw it in your face when Doc was telling you about Baltimore and I can't help but think your fascination with Rachmil was because he was from New York."

Kitty looked annoyed, "oh, Matt, you're talking silly now!"

He ran his hand down her body, "well, I'm through talking I'm taking you to New York for a honeymoon."

Kitty was puzzled, "oh, Matt, how can we? We have the children and the restaurant and…"

He placed his fingers over her lips as he sat up and rested his back on the headboard, "Kitty our children are all grown and they are more than capable of taking care of themselves. As far as the restaurant is concerned, Katie can take over while you're gone," he held her face in his hand, "or have you forgotten you've taught her everything she needs to know about running a business."

"I know Matt but what if they need us?"

"Look, they have all our friends here and their friends. They certainly won't be alone."

Kitty made a face, "I know, but what if they need _us_."

Matt pursed his lips, "I can't see that happening but if they do they'll know how to get in touch with us."

Kitty thought a moment then smiled, "I guess there really isn't a reason we couldn't go."

He pulled her close for a kiss, "Kitty, you've given so much of yourself to make everyone you love happy and I swear we're going to New York if I have to carry you there!"

Kitty laughed as tears streamed down her face, "do you really want to go?"

Matt smiled, "as long as we're together, I'll go anywhere."

Kitty hugged him tight, "oh, Matt, I love you."

He laid her back on the bed, "and I love you Kitty." He passionately kissed her as his hand glided gently up and down her body. "Happy?"

She stroked his face, "very."

"You know, we don't only have to go to New York."

Kitty furrowed her brow, "isn't that enough?"

Matt pursed his lips, "well, considering that our daughter will be in Paris for a recital I thought we could some spend time there too."

Kitty waved her hand, "oh, Matt, that isn't until two months from now."

"So?"

"What if Katie thinks we're checking up on her?"

Matt shook his head, "I think it would make her very happy to know that her old man decided to extend our honeymoon."

Kitty eyed him suspiciously, "and it's not because you want to make sure no man takes advantage of her?"

Matt smiled, "no, because I know you've taught her everything she needs to know in handling a man." Matt looked at Kitty sheepishly, "but it wouldn't hurt to be there just in case."

Kitty laughed, "I knew it."

He stroked her face as he stared into her eyes, "Kitty, this is my last round up and I want to spend the rest of the time I have left doing the things you've always wanted to do and going to the places you've always wanted to go."

Kitty's eyes welled with tears, "oh, Matt."

"You put your life on hold for so many years so I could do my job and now it's my turn to make you happy." He wiped the tears away that were running down her face, "let's do this Kitty, just me and you."

Kitty smiled, "oh Matt, I'll go anywhere as long as it's with you."

Matt looked up at the clock, "say, I think we have a few moments to celebrate our new life together." Kitty laughed as Matt's lips gently caressed her body.

**_Three Weeks Later…_**

The Dillon family and friends gathered early that morning at the depot to wish Matt and Kitty well on their trip to New York. They could hear the train in the distance and Kitty hugged Matt as she looked up at him, "I can't believe we're going."

He bent down and whispered, "I could pinch you again, if you like."

She smiled, "no, that's all right!" She strained her neck to see if the train was approaching then she turned to Matt, "we better begin the good-byes." Matt followed behind.

She turned to Maggie, "Miss Kitty, I'm so happy for you. I only wish that Galen was here so he could see how happy you are."

Kitty's eyes welled with tears, "I wish he was here too Maggie." The two women held each other for a moment.

She then turned and hugged Frank, "thanks Frank for everything." She broke their embrace, "now, Katie might need help with the restaurant and…"

Frank gave her a kiss, "you two go and have a great time and don't worry about a thing."

Kitty chuckled, "who's worrying?"

Frank shook Matt's hand, "try to take her mind off of us…will ya Matt?"

Matt chuckled, "that's not going to be easy but I'm up for the challenge."

Frank smiled, "have a great time!"

Matt hugged Frank, "thanks old friend."

Kitty hugged Sam, "I'm going to bring you something special back from New York."

Sam smiled, "the only thing I need is for you and Matt to have a good time."

Kitty smiled, "we intend to."

As Matt stood to shake Sam's hand, Kitty stopped a moment and stared at John then she wrapped her arms around him, "thank you for coming down and seeing us off John."

John smiled, "what kind of man would I be if I didn't wish an old friend a most enjoyable trip."

She touched his face, "you are a dear."

John nodded as Matt extended his hand, "I know it meant a lot to Kitty that you were here today. Thanks John for all that you have done for my family."

John shook his head, "no need to thank me. I had the time of my life."

Matt smiled and nodded as he walked over to Claire and Garth. Kitty was speaking with them when he approached. "Let us know how New York is Kitty," Garth placed his arm around Claire's waist, "I might want to take my wife there."

Claire smiled as Matt leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, "I think that is a great idea Garth." He hugged Garth, "I think your wife would like that."

The train was entering the station when Kitty reached her oldest son. "You watch over your brothers and sister while we're gone." She held his face in her hands as tears welled in her eyes, "and you be careful Matthew, remember you're part of a police force. Don't do anything foolish."

Matthew rolled his eyes, "ah, Ma, don't cry. We're all going to be all right." He pulled her into a hug. "You and Dad go and enjoy yourselves and don't worry about us…OK?"

She looked up at him and smiled, "OK."

Matt pulled his son into a hug, "we'll see you soon, son."

"Dad, this is the first time you and Ma have had a chance to be alone." Matthew smiled, "enjoy it!"

Matt chuckled, "if I ever get her on the train we will!"

Matthew nodded as he rolled his eyes, "I'll get the bags on board."

Kitty was hugging Joseph and Russell when Matt walked behind her. Joseph spoke, "Ma, Matthew's right. You and Dad go and have a great time and please don't worry about us."

Kitty smiled, "well, all right, but don't you get married or anything while we're away."

They replied in unison as their faces took on a rosy glow, "ah, Ma."

Matt hugged his two sons, "watch over your sister."

They nodded as Russell spoke, "we will Dad, have a good time."

Kitty hugged Katie, "now don't forget the liquor shipment will be in this Friday and the Wilson party is on Saturday and…"

Katie rolled her eyes, "Mom, I am more than capable of handling the restaurant. Now, go off with Daddy and enjoy New York."

Kitty smiled, "I'm not use to all this free time."

Katie smiled, "will you just go and have fun with Daddy."

Kitty chuckled, "I just hope we don't come to hate each other."

Matt walked behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Not a chance."

He kissed Kitty's neck then let her go to approach his daughter. He smiled as he pulled her into a hug, "thank you honey for making me realize what is important."

Katie looked at Matt, "oh, Daddy, you didn't need me to tell you. I think you've known it all along."

He kissed her cheek, "you always had such faith in your old Dad."

Katie smiled, "see you in Paris!" Matt looked confused as he looked over at Kitty. "That's all right Daddy, I think it's neat that you'll be there when I am."

He took Kitty by the waist, "shall we board?"

She smiled then abruptly turned to Katie, "oh, and you know where we're going to be and if we changed our plans we'll let you know and…"

Katie took a deep breath, "I think you need to board Mom!"

Matt placed his arm around her waist, "your daughter is right Kitty."

They walked toward the train with the group directly behind them then they boarded and settled in to their seats. Before long the whistle blew, the wheels slowly turned, and the platform filled with steam. They waved their good-byes as the train slowly left the station. Matt put his arm around Kitty and took a deep breath, "we're finally alone."

Kitty rested her head on his shoulder, "and with no interruptions."

He lifted her face with his fingers, "not ever again." He gently kissed her lips.

Kitty smiled, "New York…here we come!"

And for the first time in her life she was certain they would make it!


End file.
